Original subtitles

[cell phone pings]

[sighs]

[cell phone pings]

[in English] Hi.

I'm sorry. I just came in here, I'm like ambushing you.

I just really wanted to ask you something.

-Really? -Yeah.

I need to talk to you too, actually.

Oh, Okay.

Okay, do you want to go first?

[clicks tongue]

No.

[chuckles] Okay.

Okay, I'll go.

[clears throat]

Okay, it's a little bit embarrassing.

Oh, yeah. mine is also a bit embarrassing. So, yeah.

Is there any way that you would like to have sex

with me right now?

I'm sorry, I know it's weird. It's just...

That's all I've been thinking about all morning

and I can't even focus on work.

So, I think there's just one way out of this.

Oh, my God. You don't think I'm a freak, do you?

No, or a very nice freak.

[chuckles]

Beautiful freak.

You think I'm beautiful?

Yes!

Of course.

-Can I take these off? -Yeah.

[fake grunts]

-No, I'm kidding. -Are you Okay?

[tense music]

What was your thing, by the way?

-What? -What was your thing?

Oh, the sex thing.

-Me too. -Really?

Oh, my God!

-Samy? -[knocking on door]

Samy, you in there, bro? Dude man?

Did you pass out while defecating?

It happens. I saw a video online.

Can you go away, please?

I'll wait till you finish. Will that take long?

No, not really.

Yeah, it will be very long.

Just tell me,

did you break up with your Nazi girlfriend or not?

-You have a girlfriend? -No!

You should be bumping on the word "Nazi"

and I don't have a girlfriend.

-Do you? -No!

-Promise? -Yeah.

Yesterday you said you wanted to end things with Ma...

[blabbering]

-Did you wash your hands? -Yes.

-They're not wet. -Because I dried them.

I didn't hear the dryer.

What do you want?

[sighs]

Just want to let you know Maurice is here.

-Why didn't you just say that? -I didn't want to stress you.

The intestine is like a second brain.

[in French]

[in English] What are you doing?

[in French]

[in English] I'm gonna clean out

-my second brain. -No, you cannot go inside.

-No? -No.

You cannot go in the toilet.

Michel doesn't want anyone in there.

-You were just in there. -Yes, but...

No Germans.

Because of the war and everything.

-It's a joke? A French joke? -Sorry.

-Because it's not funny. -It's Michel, he's...

Dude, we did apologize, Okay?

Several times.

And I was born after the war, if you do not see that.

[in French]

[in English] Plus!

my friend, you are the one who is fucking a Nazi!

Stop with that word!

The "F" word? You're afraid of the "F" word?

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

The "N" word!

The "N" word?

-I would never say the "N" word. -Nazi.

[in French]

[in English] Anyway,

I'm sorry for everything that happened.

But I cannot allow any more discrimination

-against my people. -Wait, no!

[in French]

[door closes]

[in English] I feel like

the German Rosa Parks of toilet blocks.

How did it go with Maurice?

Fine. It's Okay. It's all sorted.

-I'm good. -Tschüss.

-So sorry. -[chuckles] My God!

-I'm so sorry about this. -It's okay.

I... He was...

Yeah, it was terrible. It's okay.

I kind of liked it. I felt like that...

What's the name...

The kid that hides in the attic in Amsterdam?

-Anne Frank? -Yes, exactly.

Even though I heard that's all fake. Did you know?

[door opening]

[in French]

[upbeat music]

[in English] I really like

when you speak French.

It's so cute.

Yes, I have experience in international politics

finance regulations and I'm a strong believer in free

enterprise. It would be great to move back to London.

I've always wanted to work in the City.

-That would be... -[clattering]

What's going on?

Fucking Brexit! They're moving the whole department

to fucking Frankfurt!

-All right. -I can't move.

I want to see my kid grow up every other weekend.

[crying]

It's all right, Kenneth.

Who's that?

This lady is applying for a job here.

[sobbing]

Good luck.

-Thank you. -Sorry, sorry.

-I'm pathetic. -No, it's all right...

It's fine, you're upset.

Maybe you should stay in Brussels, Rose.

-Brexit is killing us here. -In Brussels?

What do you do in Brussels?

It's finance regulations and legislation, really.

The two main things I do.

Is this a fucking Brexit poster behind you?

I don't know what that was, but, personally, I actually lean

-to a more... -She's fucking pro-Brexit.

No, that's...

You have ruined my life, you fucking twat!

-Calm down. -No, I'm not calming down!

She's not gonna pay for my fucking mortgage!

You, you never come back to London,

you fucking slag or I'll...

Fuck you!

-Okay. -Why don't...

Stop that fucking bullshit!

[laptop pings]

Bye.

[groans]

Idiot!

[quirky music]

[in French]

[clears throat]

[gasps]

[laughing]

[laughing]

[sighs]

[cell phone ringing]

[upbeat music]

[in English] Sorry, I...

No, it's your office.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

I have the weirdest déjà-vu.

Are you here to have sex with me?

Christ, no!

That's a strong reaction!

Can I use your office for a Skype job interview tomorrow?

-Oh, sure, yeah. -Yeah?

-Good. -But...

-In exchange... -Finish that sentence

and I'll Me-Too you out of this building.

What do you know about compromise amendment?

There are two ways to build a coalition.

Number one is to convince people

that what you propose is fantastic.

That's the hard way.

What's the second option?

The second option is to split the opposing coalition.

But you've not got any leverage, so...

Why would you say that?

You have to present a compromise amendment tomorrow morning

and I am teaching you what it is for the fourth time.

Yeah.

Plus, you have a Spanish front against you.

You can't play off one nationality against another.

-Oh, shit. -Sorry.

I fucked it up, right?

Well, yeah, but don't sweat it. You tried to save

the most notoriously unpopular animal on the planet.

[cell phone pings]

-Ingeborg. -Christ, that woman is scary.

She's not that terrible.

She's just trying to make things move her way.

That's Stockholm syndrome.

Stockholm what?

Syndrome. Look it up.

-You staying? -Yeah.

I have a lot of work to do.

Plus, I haven't found a flat yet.

[sighs]

-Sorry. -Yeah.

[cell phone pings]

I have to take this. It's my boyfriend, Sayeed.

Long-distance relationships are tricky.

Hi.

[door opening]

-Yes, sorry, I didn't have time. -Bye.

[door closes]

[cell phone clatters]

[sighs]

[chuckling]

[indistinct chattering]

[in French]

[clears throat]

[sighs]

[applause]

[clears throat]

[upbeat music]

[indistinct chattering]

[in English] I'm looking forward

to coming back to London, it's an exciting challenge.

I've had a look at your company's...

Perfect. I was researching, it's not on your résumé,

but you actually do work for a Brexit MEP, right?

Yes, well, she was a moderate Tory,

but then with the referendum, we had to reshuffle and adapt.

So, adaption is one of my main...

We're very much in uncertainty regarding new positions

in London because of, you know... Brexit.

But, we anticipate when the UK will be out of the EU,

that we're going to need extra support in Brussels.

Which you could be useful for, given your

experience there.

You're offering me a job in Brussels.

Yes.

-You still there? -Yeah, still here.

So, are you interested in a try-out?

Yes.

Sure.

Okay. You're going to have to make an effort

with the clothing because it's...

-You know? -No, sorry.

Look in the mirror.

Look at myself. Do same.

-Be more... -Me.

You. Yeah. Be more you. Okay.

-Good. -Good. Yes.

I'll buy a shirt.

Okay. This is going to be amazing.

-Yes. -I have a good feeling.

Me too.

Do you?

-All right, bye. -Yes, sorry.

Are you there. You are... Right.

[lively music]

-Hi. -Hey, hi.

Cheers.

-You Okay? -Yeah.

Yeah? [chuckles]

Listen.

You said something before about Anne Frank.

Right. You're not gonna go all PC on me, are you?

Besides, we don't have to agree on everything to have fun.

-You think? -Of course.

Let's just have fun.

[chuckling]

Samy?

[lively music continues]

[upbeat music]