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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,334 --> 00:00:03,467 [♪] 2 00:00:03,501 --> 00:00:04,901 [SIGHS] 3 00:00:04,934 --> 00:00:06,401 Well, that was all right, huh? 4 00:00:06,434 --> 00:00:07,634 Yeah. 5 00:00:07,667 --> 00:00:10,701 Well, um, good night. 6 00:00:10,734 --> 00:00:12,101 Yeah, good night. 7 00:00:15,001 --> 00:00:16,667 Boy... 8 00:00:17,334 --> 00:00:19,267 [♪] 9 00:00:20,001 --> 00:00:21,234 [GRUNTS] 10 00:00:25,501 --> 00:00:26,934 Believe this... 11 00:00:31,934 --> 00:00:33,867 [♪] 12 00:00:43,101 --> 00:00:45,034 [♪] 13 00:00:47,601 --> 00:00:49,501 [♪] 14 00:00:49,534 --> 00:00:51,734 HELEN: Jerry, we can only stay four days. 15 00:00:51,767 --> 00:00:53,534 Well, I'm upset, 16 00:00:53,567 --> 00:00:55,556 but we'll make the most of it. 17 00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:57,622 Helen, did you pack my travel gym? 18 00:00:57,656 --> 00:00:59,056 Yes. Oh, your father bought 19 00:00:59,089 --> 00:01:01,089 a exercise device off television. 20 00:01:01,122 --> 00:01:02,722 He does it every morning at 4. 21 00:01:02,756 --> 00:01:05,089 Only 25 minutes a day, and you can attach it 22 00:01:05,122 --> 00:01:06,556 to any doorknob, heh. JERRY: Ah. 23 00:01:06,589 --> 00:01:10,122 So I guess your travel miles are about to expire? 24 00:01:10,156 --> 00:01:13,989 Well, actually, Jerry, we wanted to talk to you about something. 25 00:01:14,022 --> 00:01:16,630 Am I finally getting a baby brother? 26 00:01:16,630 --> 00:01:16,789 Am I finally getting a baby brother? 27 00:01:16,822 --> 00:01:18,489 Jerry, be serious. 28 00:01:18,522 --> 00:01:20,822 How would you feel if we sold the Cadillac? 29 00:01:20,856 --> 00:01:23,222 What? The--? The Cadillac I bought for you? 30 00:01:23,256 --> 00:01:24,756 It's too much car, Jerry. 31 00:01:24,789 --> 00:01:28,289 Oh, come on. You love that car. What about the Northstar system? 32 00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:30,656 I don't think we even use it. 33 00:01:30,689 --> 00:01:33,289 Well, it's a gift, and I-- I want you to keep it. 34 00:01:33,322 --> 00:01:34,822 We already sold it. 35 00:01:34,856 --> 00:01:37,489 Why--? Why didn't you tell me before you sold it? 36 00:01:37,522 --> 00:01:40,289 We had a buyer, and we couldn't get a free flight until now. 37 00:01:40,322 --> 00:01:42,156 Well, we could, but we wanted the bulkhead. 38 00:01:42,189 --> 00:01:43,322 Oh, my God. [DOOR OPENS] 39 00:01:44,656 --> 00:01:45,722 Ah, well... 40 00:01:45,756 --> 00:01:46,630 Man, that Emily is wearin' me out. 41 00:01:46,630 --> 00:01:47,589 Man, that Emily is wearin' me out. 42 00:01:47,622 --> 00:01:48,889 Kramer... No, no, no, 43 00:01:48,922 --> 00:01:50,422 it's not the sex, Jerry. 44 00:01:50,456 --> 00:01:51,789 H-hey, Seinfelds. 45 00:01:51,822 --> 00:01:53,622 Hi, Kramer. Hiya, Kramer. 46 00:01:53,656 --> 00:01:55,256 We're in the middle of a discussion. 47 00:01:55,289 --> 00:01:56,322 Oh, yeah? What about? 48 00:01:56,356 --> 00:01:58,456 Jerry's upset. We sold the Cadillac. 49 00:01:58,489 --> 00:01:59,456 What'd you get for it? 50 00:01:59,489 --> 00:02:01,422 Jack Klompus gave us 6 grand. 51 00:02:01,456 --> 00:02:02,922 [WHISTLES] You sold my Cadillac 52 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,056 to Jack Klompus? 53 00:02:04,089 --> 00:02:05,456 And we want you to have the money. 54 00:02:05,489 --> 00:02:06,456 I don't need the money. 55 00:02:06,489 --> 00:02:07,756 What are you talking about? 56 00:02:07,789 --> 00:02:09,556 You had a check bounce at the bodega. 57 00:02:09,589 --> 00:02:10,989 Oh, is that what this is all about? 58 00:02:11,022 --> 00:02:13,089 I bounce a check and you sold a Cadillac? 59 00:02:13,122 --> 00:02:16,630 Well, also, Jerry, we read an article in the Sun-Sentinel. 60 00:02:16,630 --> 00:02:16,756 Well, also, Jerry, we read an article in the Sun-Sentinel. 61 00:02:16,789 --> 00:02:19,589 It says that standup comedy is not what it used to be, 62 00:02:19,622 --> 00:02:21,489 what with Def Jam and all. 63 00:02:22,756 --> 00:02:24,389 Yeah, that Def Jam is a force. 64 00:02:24,422 --> 00:02:26,656 Jerry, you know, I hear wonderful things 65 00:02:26,689 --> 00:02:29,122 about Bloomingdale's executive training program. 66 00:02:29,156 --> 00:02:30,822 Oh, my God. 67 00:02:30,856 --> 00:02:33,322 KRAMER: You've given this comedy thing your best shot. 68 00:02:33,356 --> 00:02:34,989 Yeah, you had some good observations, 69 00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:36,389 but it's over. 70 00:02:36,422 --> 00:02:37,722 Now, this Bloomingdale thing: 71 00:02:37,756 --> 00:02:38,722 [CLICKS TONGUE] 72 00:02:38,756 --> 00:02:40,289 That could be the next wave. 73 00:02:40,322 --> 00:02:42,056 [GROANING ANGRILY] 74 00:02:42,089 --> 00:02:43,989 [♪] 75 00:02:45,256 --> 00:02:46,289 GEORGE: Uh, excuse me. 76 00:02:46,322 --> 00:02:46,630 Uh, a pound of Arabian Mocha Java, please. 77 00:02:46,630 --> 00:02:49,289 Uh, a pound of Arabian Mocha Java, please. 78 00:02:49,322 --> 00:02:51,589 So you understand how my Peterman stock options 79 00:02:51,622 --> 00:02:52,589 are gonna work? 80 00:02:52,622 --> 00:02:54,489 I'm going to the bathroom. 81 00:02:54,522 --> 00:02:57,156 It's just very interesting. 82 00:02:57,189 --> 00:02:58,389 Yeah, when it's your money, 83 00:02:58,422 --> 00:02:59,922 it's fascinating. Hm. 84 00:02:59,956 --> 00:03:02,222 Arabian Mocha Java. Mm. 85 00:03:02,256 --> 00:03:03,889 Oh, um, I got it. 86 00:03:03,922 --> 00:03:05,889 That Arabian is strong coffee. 87 00:03:05,922 --> 00:03:07,522 It's PLO blend. 88 00:03:10,622 --> 00:03:12,056 Oh, I got your coffee. 89 00:03:12,089 --> 00:03:15,656 Oh. Oh, here, let me, uh-- Nah, nah, it's on me. 90 00:03:15,689 --> 00:03:16,630 Oh, man. Okay, listen, guys, I'm gonna be late. 91 00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:17,656 Oh, man. Okay, listen, guys, I'm gonna be late. 92 00:03:17,689 --> 00:03:18,956 I'll see you, okay? 93 00:03:18,989 --> 00:03:20,289 Yeah. Bye. 94 00:03:20,322 --> 00:03:22,189 Mm. 95 00:03:24,022 --> 00:03:25,989 You see what just happened here? What? 96 00:03:26,022 --> 00:03:29,322 She treated me to the Arabian Mocha Java. 97 00:03:29,356 --> 00:03:31,722 And you misinterpret this how? 98 00:03:31,756 --> 00:03:34,322 She's stickin' it to me that she makes more money than me. 99 00:03:34,356 --> 00:03:37,722 I'm sure she was just being nice buyin' you the coffee. 100 00:03:37,756 --> 00:03:39,089 No, not nice. Stickin' it to me. 101 00:03:39,122 --> 00:03:40,822 You're crazy. Stickin' it to me, Jerry. 102 00:03:40,856 --> 00:03:42,056 George. Sticking it! 103 00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:45,122 [♪] 104 00:03:45,156 --> 00:03:46,630 GEORGE: So you're buying the car back for your parents? 105 00:03:46,630 --> 00:03:47,489 GEORGE: So you're buying the car back for your parents? 106 00:03:47,522 --> 00:03:49,456 I'm flying down to Florida tomorrow. 107 00:03:49,489 --> 00:03:51,122 Your parents'll never let you do it. 108 00:03:51,156 --> 00:03:52,722 They lie to me about selling the car, 109 00:03:52,756 --> 00:03:54,822 I'll lie to them about buyin' it back. 110 00:03:54,856 --> 00:03:57,789 They think they can dump 6 grand on me? Think again. 111 00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:01,122 What kind of money you think your parents have? 112 00:04:01,156 --> 00:04:02,889 Excuse me? 113 00:04:02,922 --> 00:04:04,589 I bet they have more money than mine. 114 00:04:04,622 --> 00:04:07,422 Come on. Your parents have money. You think? 115 00:04:07,456 --> 00:04:09,822 When do they ever spend money? Never. 116 00:04:09,856 --> 00:04:11,622 What are their expenses? Nothing. 117 00:04:11,656 --> 00:04:13,656 Where do they go on vacation? Nowhere. 118 00:04:14,956 --> 00:04:16,489 How much do you think they have? 119 00:04:16,522 --> 00:04:16,630 Few hundred grand? 120 00:04:16,630 --> 00:04:17,956 Few hundred grand? 121 00:04:17,989 --> 00:04:20,922 You're saying I stand to inherit $300,000? 122 00:04:20,956 --> 00:04:22,222 Is that what you're saying? 123 00:04:22,256 --> 00:04:24,122 You may not see it for 20 years. 124 00:04:24,156 --> 00:04:25,389 Twenty years? That long? 125 00:04:25,422 --> 00:04:27,422 Does your father eat bacon and eggs every day? 126 00:04:27,456 --> 00:04:29,256 Unfortunately, yes. 127 00:04:29,289 --> 00:04:30,989 How's your family history? 128 00:04:31,022 --> 00:04:33,722 I have an aunt that died at 7. Really? 129 00:04:33,756 --> 00:04:35,122 Aunt Baby. 130 00:04:35,156 --> 00:04:37,656 [♪] 131 00:04:37,689 --> 00:04:39,322 KRAMER: Elaine, uh, you got a moment? 132 00:04:39,356 --> 00:04:40,822 Yeah, Kramer, come on in. 133 00:04:40,856 --> 00:04:44,456 I, uh, need to speak to you about some lady problems. 134 00:04:44,489 --> 00:04:46,489 Okay... 135 00:04:46,522 --> 00:04:46,630 You know, after I have sex with Emily, 136 00:04:46,630 --> 00:04:48,989 You know, after I have sex with Emily, 137 00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:50,989 uh, I don't want her in the bed anymore. 138 00:04:51,022 --> 00:04:52,489 Ah, yeah. 139 00:04:52,522 --> 00:04:54,922 Yeah, because she's throwin' off my whole sleep. 140 00:04:54,956 --> 00:04:57,989 She's got the jimmy legs. Jimmy legs? 141 00:04:58,022 --> 00:04:59,656 The-- Uh, jimmy leg. 142 00:04:59,689 --> 00:05:01,489 Oh. 143 00:05:01,522 --> 00:05:03,889 So, uh... Well, uh, maybe I should just be honest 144 00:05:03,922 --> 00:05:05,089 with her, huh? 145 00:05:05,122 --> 00:05:07,589 Tell her after sex you just want her out of there? 146 00:05:07,622 --> 00:05:10,389 Well, I'd say it nicely. 147 00:05:10,422 --> 00:05:12,389 I don't think so. 148 00:05:12,422 --> 00:05:14,956 Well, you know, I really like this girl. And I-- 149 00:05:14,989 --> 00:05:16,630 You know, I think if I could work out this one thing-- 150 00:05:16,630 --> 00:05:17,156 You know, I think if I could work out this one thing-- 151 00:05:17,189 --> 00:05:19,589 Yeah, I gotta be honest with you, Kramer. 152 00:05:19,622 --> 00:05:23,222 You might be more than just a couple of tweaks away 153 00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:25,656 from a healthy relationship. 154 00:05:25,689 --> 00:05:29,822 Well, you're not exactly zeroing in yourself, lady. 155 00:05:30,589 --> 00:05:31,722 All right, get out. 156 00:05:31,756 --> 00:05:32,922 Get out! 157 00:05:32,956 --> 00:05:35,322 [♪] 158 00:05:35,356 --> 00:05:37,722 JERRY: So listen, I've gotta go down to Atlantic City. 159 00:05:37,756 --> 00:05:39,056 I'm performing at Bally's. 160 00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:40,656 You just heard about this today? 161 00:05:40,689 --> 00:05:43,556 They had a cancellation, and they instantly called me. 162 00:05:43,589 --> 00:05:44,556 Who canceled? 163 00:05:44,589 --> 00:05:45,989 Carrot Top. 164 00:05:47,189 --> 00:05:49,622 I told you: My career's fine. 165 00:05:49,656 --> 00:05:51,756 [♪] 166 00:05:51,789 --> 00:05:53,922 GEORGE: I've been, uh, thinkin' about the family. 167 00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:56,956 Tell me, uh, about Aunt Baby. 168 00:05:56,989 --> 00:05:59,022 She's deceased. 169 00:06:00,689 --> 00:06:03,889 Yeah. Um, why did she die so young? 170 00:06:03,922 --> 00:06:05,156 She had problems. 171 00:06:06,422 --> 00:06:07,756 Internal. 172 00:06:07,789 --> 00:06:09,822 Is that common in our family? 173 00:06:09,856 --> 00:06:13,222 Well, your Uncle Moe, he died a young man. 174 00:06:13,256 --> 00:06:15,389 Also internal problems. 175 00:06:15,422 --> 00:06:16,630 It's that temper on your side. 176 00:06:16,630 --> 00:06:17,456 It's that temper on your side. 177 00:06:17,489 --> 00:06:21,156 They're yelling and yelling and then one day, 178 00:06:21,189 --> 00:06:22,156 they're all gone. 179 00:06:22,189 --> 00:06:23,422 FRANK: What about your side? 180 00:06:23,456 --> 00:06:24,589 Your cousin Heddy. 181 00:06:24,622 --> 00:06:26,989 She was sickly from the moment I met her. 182 00:06:27,022 --> 00:06:29,089 Don't you talk about Heddy! 183 00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:31,489 So I guess you two are the lucky ones. 184 00:06:31,522 --> 00:06:33,156 So far. 185 00:06:33,189 --> 00:06:34,156 Frank, 186 00:06:34,189 --> 00:06:37,456 if Aunt Baby were alive today, 187 00:06:37,489 --> 00:06:39,289 how old would she be? 188 00:06:39,322 --> 00:06:41,289 She'd never make it. 189 00:06:42,156 --> 00:06:44,822 [♪] 190 00:06:44,856 --> 00:06:46,322 EMILY: So let me get this straight. 191 00:06:46,356 --> 00:06:46,630 You enjoy the lovemaking-- Shh. Shh. 192 00:06:46,630 --> 00:06:48,756 You enjoy the lovemaking-- Shh. Shh. 193 00:06:48,789 --> 00:06:50,289 Well, do you? 194 00:06:50,322 --> 00:06:53,122 Oh, yeah. Like strawberry pie. 195 00:06:53,156 --> 00:06:56,656 Okay, but you have a problem sharing a bed with me. 196 00:06:56,689 --> 00:06:58,789 I know it's not what the ladies like, 197 00:06:58,822 --> 00:07:00,289 but without some solid sack time, 198 00:07:00,322 --> 00:07:02,056 I'm a zombie. 199 00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:05,089 I don't know. Oh, come on, man. 200 00:07:05,122 --> 00:07:07,089 Meet me halfway. 201 00:07:07,122 --> 00:07:09,489 You're not easy, Kramer. I know. 202 00:07:09,522 --> 00:07:10,656 [♪] 203 00:07:15,189 --> 00:07:16,630 JACK: So to what do I owe 204 00:07:16,630 --> 00:07:17,089 JACK: So to what do I owe 205 00:07:17,122 --> 00:07:20,322 the pleasure of this unannounced visit? 206 00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:22,156 I wanna buy back the Cadillac. 207 00:07:22,189 --> 00:07:24,422 You wanna buy it back? Why? 208 00:07:24,456 --> 00:07:27,256 You got drugs hidden in the trunk? Heh-heh. 209 00:07:28,356 --> 00:07:29,456 I'm kidding. 210 00:07:29,489 --> 00:07:31,889 All right. I'll give you 9000 for it. 211 00:07:31,922 --> 00:07:34,822 Nine thousand for a Cadillac? It's got no miles on it. 212 00:07:34,856 --> 00:07:36,056 You bought it for six. 213 00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:37,622 You're not me. 214 00:07:39,122 --> 00:07:40,556 How much do you want for it? 215 00:07:40,589 --> 00:07:42,489 The Kelley Blue Book value: 216 00:07:42,522 --> 00:07:44,422 $22,000. 217 00:07:44,456 --> 00:07:45,922 Fourteen thousand. 218 00:07:45,956 --> 00:07:46,630 Done. 219 00:07:46,630 --> 00:07:47,156 Done. 220 00:07:47,189 --> 00:07:49,656 But I get to drive it tomorrow, 221 00:07:49,689 --> 00:07:51,756 because Doris wants to go to Naples. 222 00:07:53,456 --> 00:07:54,589 You need a pen? 223 00:07:55,956 --> 00:07:57,622 Still works. 224 00:07:57,656 --> 00:08:00,456 [♪] 225 00:08:00,489 --> 00:08:01,889 KRAMER: Hey, uh, where's Jerry? 226 00:08:01,922 --> 00:08:04,056 He's performing at Bally's in Atlantic City. 227 00:08:04,089 --> 00:08:06,622 Oh, okay. 228 00:08:06,656 --> 00:08:07,722 Yeah, 229 00:08:07,756 --> 00:08:10,456 I need his shoeshine kit. 230 00:08:10,489 --> 00:08:12,956 He always hides it from me. 231 00:08:13,756 --> 00:08:14,889 Yeah, Bally's? 232 00:08:14,922 --> 00:08:16,630 Yeah, Jerry Seinfeld's room, please. 233 00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:16,822 Yeah, Jerry Seinfeld's room, please. 234 00:08:16,856 --> 00:08:18,322 You know that number? 235 00:08:18,356 --> 00:08:21,422 I used to have a problem. 236 00:08:21,456 --> 00:08:23,289 Well, what do you mean, he's not registered? 237 00:08:24,356 --> 00:08:26,556 Well, S-E-I-N-V-- HELEN: F. 238 00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:27,722 F-E-L-D. 239 00:08:27,756 --> 00:08:29,422 Uh, F-E-L-D. 240 00:08:31,422 --> 00:08:33,756 Well, I think you're wrong. 241 00:08:35,189 --> 00:08:36,756 All right, you have a lucky day too. 242 00:08:36,789 --> 00:08:37,956 [CLICKS TONGUE] 243 00:08:37,989 --> 00:08:40,322 He's not there? No, they never heard of him. 244 00:08:40,356 --> 00:08:41,822 [♪] 245 00:08:44,422 --> 00:08:46,630 This is so nice of you to take us all out to dinner, George. 246 00:08:46,630 --> 00:08:48,122 This is so nice of you to take us all out to dinner, George. 247 00:08:48,156 --> 00:08:50,922 Well, as much as I enjoy all the good-natured ribbing-- 248 00:08:50,956 --> 00:08:51,956 [CHUCKLES] 249 00:08:51,989 --> 00:08:53,456 --nothing really makes me happier 250 00:08:53,489 --> 00:08:55,989 than spending money on the people I care about. 251 00:08:56,022 --> 00:08:57,556 Where's Jerry? 252 00:08:57,589 --> 00:08:58,656 Oh, he'll be here. 253 00:08:58,689 --> 00:09:01,456 By the way, Elaine, thank you 254 00:09:01,489 --> 00:09:04,789 for laying out for the Arabian Mocha Java. 255 00:09:04,822 --> 00:09:07,489 George, you didn't have to do this. 256 00:09:07,522 --> 00:09:09,789 [SNICKERS] I'm president of a big company. 257 00:09:09,822 --> 00:09:12,222 I can afford to buy you coffee. 258 00:09:12,256 --> 00:09:14,056 President? Yeah. 259 00:09:14,089 --> 00:09:15,922 Hey, look, he's back! Hey. Hey. 260 00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:16,630 I got your message so I came straight from Atlantic City. 261 00:09:16,630 --> 00:09:19,056 I got your message so I came straight from Atlantic City. 262 00:09:19,089 --> 00:09:21,289 Kramer called Bally's. You weren't registered. 263 00:09:21,322 --> 00:09:24,256 [CHUCKLING] Well, I can't stay under my own name. 264 00:09:24,289 --> 00:09:27,256 I was registered under "Slappy White." 265 00:09:30,022 --> 00:09:30,989 Mom. 266 00:09:31,022 --> 00:09:32,222 Dad. 267 00:09:32,256 --> 00:09:34,289 Well, look who's here, heh. 268 00:09:34,322 --> 00:09:35,822 [FLATLY] Hello, Seinfelds. 269 00:09:37,256 --> 00:09:38,756 What--? What are you doing here? 270 00:09:38,789 --> 00:09:41,489 We're having an upscale dinner. 271 00:09:41,522 --> 00:09:43,589 What? Well, after talking to you, 272 00:09:43,622 --> 00:09:46,556 we realized we may not have much time left. 273 00:09:46,589 --> 00:09:46,630 So we're blowing it all. 274 00:09:46,630 --> 00:09:48,556 So we're blowing it all. 275 00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:52,156 Look, George, it's a Pierre Cardin. 276 00:09:52,189 --> 00:09:54,656 [♪] 277 00:09:58,289 --> 00:10:00,922 That was all right. 278 00:10:00,956 --> 00:10:02,522 [SIGHING] Yeah. 279 00:10:04,622 --> 00:10:06,989 Well, I'll see ya. 280 00:10:07,022 --> 00:10:08,956 [♪] 281 00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,422 [CLATTERING] 282 00:10:25,456 --> 00:10:26,956 [SOFTLY] Who's that? 283 00:10:39,656 --> 00:10:42,222 [♪] 284 00:10:42,256 --> 00:10:43,422 [PHONE RINGING] 285 00:10:44,422 --> 00:10:45,422 Hello. 286 00:10:45,456 --> 00:10:46,630 [LOUDLY] Jerry. 287 00:10:46,630 --> 00:10:46,822 [LOUDLY] Jerry. 288 00:10:46,856 --> 00:10:50,589 I had a little mishap with the car. 289 00:10:53,822 --> 00:10:56,422 I'm down here in Alligator Alley. 290 00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:58,289 You better get down here. 291 00:10:58,322 --> 00:10:59,789 Uh, all right. 292 00:10:59,822 --> 00:11:01,889 Who was that? 293 00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:04,222 That was the Golden Nugget, 294 00:11:04,256 --> 00:11:06,156 also in Atlantic City. 295 00:11:06,189 --> 00:11:08,756 They heard such good things about my show at Bally's, 296 00:11:08,789 --> 00:11:10,456 they want me for tonight. 297 00:11:11,989 --> 00:11:16,622 So I'll have to repack and go. 298 00:11:18,589 --> 00:11:20,989 That didn't sound like the Golden Nugget. 299 00:11:21,022 --> 00:11:24,989 I'm worried. What happens if we have to support Jerry? 300 00:11:25,022 --> 00:11:27,122 I'll have to go back to work. 301 00:11:27,156 --> 00:11:28,456 Where would you work? 302 00:11:28,489 --> 00:11:30,989 Maybe I should talk to Elaine. 303 00:11:31,022 --> 00:11:32,956 [♪] 304 00:11:36,022 --> 00:11:37,322 [♪] 305 00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:39,296 ELAINE: Well, Mr. Seinfeld, 306 00:11:39,330 --> 00:11:41,263 I-- I'm not sure I understand 307 00:11:41,296 --> 00:11:43,330 why you want a job here. 308 00:11:43,363 --> 00:11:44,763 What's not to understand? 309 00:11:44,796 --> 00:11:47,096 Well, for one thing, you live in Florida. 310 00:11:47,130 --> 00:11:49,996 I'm very comfortable working out of the house. 311 00:11:50,030 --> 00:11:52,930 I have a phone. We have a Kinko's nearby. 312 00:11:52,963 --> 00:11:53,996 You know, 313 00:11:54,030 --> 00:11:57,130 I think that my résumé speaks for itself. 314 00:11:57,163 --> 00:11:58,463 Where is your résumé? 315 00:11:58,496 --> 00:12:00,330 I don't have it. I'll mail you one. 316 00:12:00,363 --> 00:12:01,930 Uh, all right, Mr. Seinfeld, 317 00:12:01,963 --> 00:12:04,777 uh, what kind of a position did you have in mind? 318 00:12:04,777 --> 00:12:05,296 uh, what kind of a position did you have in mind? 319 00:12:05,330 --> 00:12:07,130 You sell clothes, don't you? Yeah. 320 00:12:07,163 --> 00:12:08,663 Well, I sold raincoats 321 00:12:08,696 --> 00:12:11,396 in the garment center for 38 years. 322 00:12:11,430 --> 00:12:13,130 In 1949-- All right. 323 00:12:13,163 --> 00:12:15,463 All right. All right. You come in tomorrow. 324 00:12:15,496 --> 00:12:17,463 We'll find something for you to do. 325 00:12:17,496 --> 00:12:19,463 You won't regret this, Miss Benes. 326 00:12:19,496 --> 00:12:21,296 What time should I be in? I get up at 4. 327 00:12:21,330 --> 00:12:23,330 I could be here as early as 4:25. Uh... 328 00:12:23,363 --> 00:12:24,563 [MOUTHS] No. 329 00:12:24,596 --> 00:12:25,830 Oh, Elaine, 330 00:12:26,930 --> 00:12:28,263 this dry air is curing me 331 00:12:28,296 --> 00:12:31,296 like a Black Forest ham. 332 00:12:31,330 --> 00:12:34,777 Mr. Peterman? You're back. [DOOR OPENS] 333 00:12:34,777 --> 00:12:35,163 Mr. Peterman? You're back. [DOOR OPENS] 334 00:12:37,330 --> 00:12:39,130 Who's Mr. Fancy? 335 00:12:39,163 --> 00:12:41,163 [♪] 336 00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:46,463 I-- I-- I was thinkin' maybe I should spend the night. 337 00:12:46,496 --> 00:12:50,063 Oh, that's sweet, but actually, I... 338 00:12:50,096 --> 00:12:52,430 I think I'd prefer it if you left. 339 00:12:52,463 --> 00:12:53,763 What? 340 00:12:53,796 --> 00:12:55,263 Well, you were completely right. 341 00:12:55,296 --> 00:12:57,530 I sleep so much better when I'm alone. 342 00:12:58,630 --> 00:13:00,930 And you scream in your sleep. 343 00:13:00,963 --> 00:13:02,296 I do? 344 00:13:05,496 --> 00:13:06,763 There was a man. 345 00:13:06,796 --> 00:13:09,130 He was trying to get into my apartment last night. 346 00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:11,830 He was jiggling the doorknob for 25 minutes. 347 00:13:11,863 --> 00:13:12,930 [SIGHS] 348 00:13:12,963 --> 00:13:13,930 Come on. 349 00:13:13,963 --> 00:13:15,496 It was probably the wind. No, no. 350 00:13:15,530 --> 00:13:17,563 No, it was a fearless cat burglar. 351 00:13:17,596 --> 00:13:19,596 Now, listen, you gotta let me sleep here. I'll-- 352 00:13:19,630 --> 00:13:21,830 You know, I'll stay over here on my side, and I'll-- 353 00:13:21,863 --> 00:13:23,663 I'll stuff a sock in my mouth. 354 00:13:23,696 --> 00:13:25,930 'Cause I don't wanna sleep alone. 355 00:13:25,963 --> 00:13:27,930 Well, I do. 356 00:13:32,330 --> 00:13:34,777 [♪] 357 00:13:34,777 --> 00:13:35,230 [♪] 358 00:13:35,263 --> 00:13:37,230 What took you so long? 359 00:13:37,263 --> 00:13:39,296 I live in New York. 360 00:13:40,296 --> 00:13:41,896 What the hell happened? 361 00:13:41,930 --> 00:13:44,496 This thing is a-- Is a behemoth. 362 00:13:44,530 --> 00:13:46,130 What did you do? I was-- 363 00:13:46,163 --> 00:13:49,096 I was making a-- A simple lane change. 364 00:13:49,130 --> 00:13:52,730 I-- I put on the blinker, and-- And it took off on me. 365 00:13:52,763 --> 00:13:54,896 And next thing you know, I was submerged. 366 00:13:54,930 --> 00:13:55,963 I'm telling you, Jerry, 367 00:13:55,996 --> 00:13:57,063 I'm very lucky 368 00:13:57,096 --> 00:13:59,296 that those crocs didn't get me. 369 00:14:07,130 --> 00:14:09,296 You are such an idiot. 370 00:14:10,530 --> 00:14:12,096 Well, we gotta get the car cleaned up 371 00:14:12,130 --> 00:14:13,163 for my parents. 372 00:14:13,196 --> 00:14:14,330 Do whatever you want. 373 00:14:14,363 --> 00:14:15,496 It's your car. 374 00:14:15,530 --> 00:14:17,830 My car? You drove it into the swamp. 375 00:14:17,863 --> 00:14:20,996 It drove itself into the swamp. 376 00:14:21,030 --> 00:14:25,163 Besides, I think I lost my pen too. 377 00:14:25,196 --> 00:14:27,830 You know, that almost makes this all worthwhile. 378 00:14:27,863 --> 00:14:29,863 [♪] 379 00:14:31,330 --> 00:14:33,730 Why is there a Cadillac parked in front of the house? 380 00:14:33,763 --> 00:14:34,777 That's your mother's new car. 381 00:14:34,777 --> 00:14:36,763 That's your mother's new car. 382 00:14:37,996 --> 00:14:39,330 You bought that? 383 00:14:39,363 --> 00:14:41,396 It's a coupe de elegance. 384 00:14:41,430 --> 00:14:44,430 [CHUCKLES] Your father wanted a Mercedes, 385 00:14:44,463 --> 00:14:47,430 but I won't ride in a German car. 386 00:14:49,030 --> 00:14:50,663 Morning. 387 00:14:53,496 --> 00:14:54,830 [SIGHING] Oh, boy. 388 00:14:54,863 --> 00:14:56,796 What the hell is goin' on here? 389 00:14:56,830 --> 00:14:58,896 I had some trouble at my place. 390 00:14:58,930 --> 00:15:00,763 So I need a little company at night to sleep. 391 00:15:00,796 --> 00:15:01,796 [CHUCKLES] 392 00:15:02,796 --> 00:15:04,777 George, your mother and I-- 393 00:15:04,777 --> 00:15:04,896 George, your mother and I-- 394 00:15:04,930 --> 00:15:07,630 And Kramer. --have been talking. 395 00:15:07,663 --> 00:15:08,663 Oh, God. 396 00:15:08,696 --> 00:15:11,263 Uh, George, your parents can't blow 397 00:15:11,296 --> 00:15:12,796 their savings in this community. 398 00:15:12,830 --> 00:15:13,796 It's low-rent. 399 00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,463 We feel that Florida is really the place 400 00:15:15,496 --> 00:15:16,496 where they should be. 401 00:15:16,530 --> 00:15:17,496 You can drop a grand 402 00:15:17,530 --> 00:15:20,063 in Disney World like that. 403 00:15:20,096 --> 00:15:22,830 Wait a minute. You're thinkin' of movin' to Florida again? 404 00:15:22,863 --> 00:15:26,663 Well, it's either that, or we stay here near you 405 00:15:26,696 --> 00:15:29,096 and just sit on the money. 406 00:15:29,130 --> 00:15:31,796 What do you think we should do, Georgie? 407 00:15:32,663 --> 00:15:34,463 [♪] 408 00:15:36,330 --> 00:15:37,296 PETERMAN: So anyway, 409 00:15:37,330 --> 00:15:38,396 effective immediately, 410 00:15:38,430 --> 00:15:40,296 Miss Benes will return to her old position 411 00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:41,796 at her original salary, 412 00:15:41,830 --> 00:15:44,830 and I, of course, will return to mine. 413 00:15:44,863 --> 00:15:47,163 Kudos, Elaine, on a job... 414 00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:48,296 done. 415 00:15:49,296 --> 00:15:51,296 What about my stock options? 416 00:15:51,330 --> 00:15:52,630 I think not. 417 00:15:54,330 --> 00:15:55,463 Now, down to business. 418 00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:57,296 I have had this vision 419 00:15:57,330 --> 00:15:59,963 of a diaphanous rumrunner scarf. 420 00:15:59,996 --> 00:16:03,096 Well, we could fly some fabric in from our silk factories 421 00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:04,777 for about $1000 dollars a bolt. 422 00:16:04,777 --> 00:16:04,996 for about $1000 dollars a bolt. 423 00:16:05,030 --> 00:16:06,396 A thousand? 424 00:16:06,430 --> 00:16:08,596 I know a couple of Chinamen over there on 43rd Street 425 00:16:08,630 --> 00:16:09,796 that'll do it for half that. 426 00:16:09,830 --> 00:16:12,163 It's, uh, Asian Americans. 427 00:16:12,196 --> 00:16:13,496 What? 428 00:16:13,530 --> 00:16:16,663 Who are you? 429 00:16:16,696 --> 00:16:18,330 Don't worry-- Morty Seinfeld. 430 00:16:18,363 --> 00:16:21,630 I cut velvet for 40 years with Harry Alper. 431 00:16:21,663 --> 00:16:23,430 Okay, Mr. Seinfeld, this is not-- 432 00:16:23,463 --> 00:16:25,830 PETERMAN: Elaine, did you hire this man? 433 00:16:25,863 --> 00:16:27,230 No, no-- Well, I mean, you know, 434 00:16:27,263 --> 00:16:31,330 he's more like an intern, you know, at best. 435 00:16:31,363 --> 00:16:33,230 [♪] 436 00:16:33,263 --> 00:16:34,777 ELAINE: So if your parents move to Florida, you're poor. 437 00:16:34,777 --> 00:16:35,896 ELAINE: So if your parents move to Florida, you're poor. 438 00:16:35,930 --> 00:16:38,430 But happy. Obviously. 439 00:16:38,463 --> 00:16:41,730 And if they stay, you're rich, but... 440 00:16:41,763 --> 00:16:44,496 Obviously. 441 00:16:44,530 --> 00:16:45,896 It's quite a dilemma. 442 00:16:45,930 --> 00:16:47,263 You know, I have a bit 443 00:16:47,296 --> 00:16:49,396 of a dilemma of my own. No, no. 444 00:16:49,430 --> 00:16:50,330 No, no, no. 445 00:16:50,363 --> 00:16:51,463 We're stayin' on me. 446 00:16:51,496 --> 00:16:52,963 We haven't solved anything yet. 447 00:16:52,996 --> 00:16:53,963 All right. This is easy. 448 00:16:53,996 --> 00:16:55,963 Just let 'em go. So now, listen-- 449 00:16:55,996 --> 00:16:58,330 What do you mean? They're spendin' all my money. 450 00:16:58,363 --> 00:17:00,730 All right. Then they stay. So let me ask you a question-- 451 00:17:00,763 --> 00:17:02,996 Could you put a little thought into this? 452 00:17:03,030 --> 00:17:04,777 Jerry's gone. You could humor me. 453 00:17:04,777 --> 00:17:05,096 Jerry's gone. You could humor me. 454 00:17:05,130 --> 00:17:06,230 He humors me. 455 00:17:06,263 --> 00:17:07,763 Speaking of Jerry, 456 00:17:07,796 --> 00:17:11,996 his father is driving me so crazy down at Peterman's. 457 00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:14,830 Know what I do when one of these guys is breathing down my neck? 458 00:17:14,863 --> 00:17:16,930 What? You schedule a late meeting. 459 00:17:16,963 --> 00:17:18,163 Huh? What does that do? 460 00:17:18,196 --> 00:17:19,663 These old guys, they're up at 4 a.m. 461 00:17:19,696 --> 00:17:22,230 By 2:30, they're wiped-- How did we get back on to you? 462 00:17:22,263 --> 00:17:23,630 I gotta go. 463 00:17:25,196 --> 00:17:26,763 You know I got nothin' outta this. 464 00:17:26,796 --> 00:17:28,696 [♪] 465 00:17:30,863 --> 00:17:32,330 Hey, Frank. Yeah. 466 00:17:32,363 --> 00:17:33,763 Hey, you got two beds in here. 467 00:17:33,796 --> 00:17:34,777 That's right. That's me on the left. 468 00:17:34,777 --> 00:17:36,496 That's right. That's me on the left. 469 00:17:36,530 --> 00:17:38,396 So you sleep in separate beds. 470 00:17:38,430 --> 00:17:40,330 Thirty years ago we came to an agreement. 471 00:17:40,363 --> 00:17:42,063 It was the only way I could get some rest. 472 00:17:42,096 --> 00:17:43,130 Really? 473 00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:45,963 Estelle's got the jimmy arms. 474 00:17:45,996 --> 00:17:47,963 You can get that in your arms? 475 00:17:47,996 --> 00:17:50,296 Like you wouldn't believe. 476 00:17:50,330 --> 00:17:53,096 [♪] 477 00:17:53,130 --> 00:17:55,130 JACK: Jerry, it's getting late. 478 00:17:55,163 --> 00:17:56,930 You, uh, cleaned up the car. 479 00:17:56,963 --> 00:17:59,496 You made all your phone calls. 480 00:17:59,530 --> 00:18:01,330 Why are you still here? 481 00:18:02,830 --> 00:18:04,777 Well, I, uh, maxed out my credit cards. 482 00:18:04,777 --> 00:18:05,663 Well, I, uh, maxed out my credit cards. 483 00:18:05,696 --> 00:18:08,963 And I don't have enough cash for a hotel room. 484 00:18:08,996 --> 00:18:10,096 So... 485 00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:12,296 You are, uh, thinking of staying here? 486 00:18:12,330 --> 00:18:13,296 Well... 487 00:18:13,330 --> 00:18:15,796 You've got some nerve. 488 00:18:15,830 --> 00:18:19,463 I almost break my neck in that deathtrap of yours, 489 00:18:19,496 --> 00:18:21,730 and now you ask me for a favor? 490 00:18:21,763 --> 00:18:23,463 Didn't like that crack about the pen? 491 00:18:23,496 --> 00:18:24,630 I did not. 492 00:18:24,663 --> 00:18:26,330 [♪] 493 00:18:28,296 --> 00:18:30,496 GEORGE: Well, I've given this a lot of thought, 494 00:18:30,530 --> 00:18:32,263 and I've gotta say-- [DISHES RATTLE] 495 00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:34,777 As much as I'd like to see the two of you livin' it up 496 00:18:34,777 --> 00:18:36,996 As much as I'd like to see the two of you livin' it up 497 00:18:37,030 --> 00:18:38,730 in a warm, tropical setting, 498 00:18:38,763 --> 00:18:39,963 I-- 499 00:18:39,996 --> 00:18:41,896 I would just miss you too much. 500 00:18:41,930 --> 00:18:44,563 So I've decided 501 00:18:44,596 --> 00:18:47,730 I want you to stay. 502 00:18:47,763 --> 00:18:49,463 It's too late. 503 00:18:49,496 --> 00:18:51,596 We bought a condo at Del Boca Vista. 504 00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:53,496 We're leaving tonight. 505 00:18:55,330 --> 00:18:56,930 You said it was my call. 506 00:18:56,963 --> 00:18:59,196 We were just being nice. 507 00:19:00,530 --> 00:19:02,630 Cosmo, are you sure 508 00:19:02,663 --> 00:19:04,777 you're gonna be all right here alone? 509 00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:04,830 you're gonna be all right here alone? 510 00:19:04,863 --> 00:19:07,230 Oh, yeah, yeah, I got Emily comin' over tonight. 511 00:19:07,263 --> 00:19:09,063 You're lettin' him have a woman over? 512 00:19:09,096 --> 00:19:11,496 He's not family. It's different psychologically. 513 00:19:14,096 --> 00:19:16,396 [♪] 514 00:19:16,430 --> 00:19:17,896 PETERMAN: And so I made 515 00:19:17,930 --> 00:19:19,663 an explosive out of chickpeas. 516 00:19:20,763 --> 00:19:22,063 And I stopped that great rhino 517 00:19:22,096 --> 00:19:23,396 right in his tracks. 518 00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:25,263 Well, it's getting late. Why don't we, uh--? 519 00:19:25,296 --> 00:19:27,830 Mr. Peterman, that can't have been the only time 520 00:19:27,863 --> 00:19:30,063 that you faced mortal danger. 521 00:19:30,096 --> 00:19:32,230 [CHUCKLES] Funny you should ask, Elaine. 522 00:19:32,263 --> 00:19:34,663 Look, if we're gonna stay here until all hours of the night, 523 00:19:34,696 --> 00:19:34,777 can't we at least get some food here? 524 00:19:34,777 --> 00:19:36,630 can't we at least get some food here? 525 00:19:36,663 --> 00:19:38,930 It's only 5:15. 526 00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:42,296 So later on that same day, 527 00:19:42,330 --> 00:19:45,396 I developed a great hankering for some wild honey. 528 00:19:45,430 --> 00:19:46,796 Okay, I'm done. 529 00:19:46,830 --> 00:19:48,063 I'll be back in the morning 530 00:19:48,096 --> 00:19:50,496 when he's close to finished with this story. 531 00:19:50,530 --> 00:19:52,330 PETERMAN: Morty. 532 00:19:52,363 --> 00:19:54,996 My stories are what sell these clothes. 533 00:19:55,030 --> 00:19:57,496 Cheap fabric and dim lighting: 534 00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,830 That's how you move merchandise. 535 00:19:59,863 --> 00:20:02,663 Okay. You're out. 536 00:20:02,696 --> 00:20:04,777 Ach, I never knew what the hell I was peddling 537 00:20:04,777 --> 00:20:05,330 Ach, I never knew what the hell I was peddling 538 00:20:05,363 --> 00:20:08,330 with those stupid cartoons and that paper book anyway. 539 00:20:10,263 --> 00:20:11,696 [♪] 540 00:20:27,930 --> 00:20:29,830 [♪] 541 00:20:31,596 --> 00:20:32,963 I don't know why I let you talk me 542 00:20:32,996 --> 00:20:34,777 into that corned beef at Snitzers. 543 00:20:34,777 --> 00:20:34,963 into that corned beef at Snitzers. 544 00:20:34,996 --> 00:20:37,796 No one held a gun to your head. Yeah. 545 00:20:37,830 --> 00:20:40,296 Don't forget: We're eating at the Fidermans' tomorrow. 546 00:20:40,330 --> 00:20:42,463 Now why do I have to go? They're your friends. 547 00:20:42,496 --> 00:20:44,763 You like 'em. I've had it with 'em. 548 00:20:44,796 --> 00:20:46,396 [WATER RUNNING] 549 00:20:46,430 --> 00:20:47,796 Then we won't go. 550 00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:50,496 Okay, okay. What time? 551 00:20:50,530 --> 00:20:51,830 Eight-thirty. Mm. 552 00:20:55,696 --> 00:20:57,296 [BURPS, SIGHS] 553 00:20:57,330 --> 00:20:58,796 That was all right. 554 00:21:00,296 --> 00:21:02,796 [♪] 555 00:21:06,363 --> 00:21:07,596 [♪] 556 00:21:07,630 --> 00:21:09,563 ELAINE: "One bright note in today's market 557 00:21:09,596 --> 00:21:12,230 "was the stock of retailer J. Peterman, 558 00:21:12,263 --> 00:21:16,096 "whose founder's surprise return generated a rise 559 00:21:16,130 --> 00:21:18,263 of 12 and a half points." 560 00:21:18,296 --> 00:21:20,930 Mm-mm-mm. 561 00:21:20,963 --> 00:21:23,330 That means if you still had those stock options... 562 00:21:23,363 --> 00:21:24,696 [WEAKLY] Yeah. 563 00:21:25,830 --> 00:21:27,263 That's a shame. 564 00:21:27,296 --> 00:21:29,296 What are you, stickin' it to me? 565 00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:30,730 What? 566 00:21:30,763 --> 00:21:32,263 I think you're stickin' it to me. 567 00:21:32,296 --> 00:21:34,463 Elaine, I'm sure George is just being sympathetic. 568 00:21:34,496 --> 00:21:35,014 Stickin' it! 569 00:21:35,014 --> 00:21:35,630 Stickin' it! 570 00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:39,630 You're not alone. I'm practically broke. 571 00:21:39,663 --> 00:21:41,396 Really? No. 572 00:21:41,430 --> 00:21:42,896 But... 573 00:21:42,930 --> 00:21:45,563 I did blow over 20,000 on that Cadillac. 574 00:21:45,596 --> 00:21:47,063 [CHUCKLING QUIETLY] 575 00:21:47,096 --> 00:21:48,296 Delicious. 576 00:21:48,330 --> 00:21:49,630 Well, you seem happy. 577 00:21:49,663 --> 00:21:52,063 Hey, the folks are 1200 miles away. 578 00:21:52,096 --> 00:21:54,163 I'm baskin' in the buffer zone. 579 00:21:54,196 --> 00:21:56,130 Another piece of pie here! 580 00:21:56,163 --> 00:21:58,896 So were your parents shocked to see the Cadillac? 581 00:21:58,930 --> 00:22:01,463 Actually, I haven't heard from them yet. Hm. 582 00:22:01,496 --> 00:22:03,263 When are we gonna tell Jerry? 583 00:22:03,296 --> 00:22:04,896 I don't wanna worry him. 584 00:22:04,930 --> 00:22:05,014 We'll tell him next time we go up. 585 00:22:05,014 --> 00:22:07,830 We'll tell him next time we go up. 586 00:22:07,863 --> 00:22:10,730 He thought he could buy back that Cadillac for us? 587 00:22:10,763 --> 00:22:12,963 He's not getting away with that. 588 00:22:12,996 --> 00:22:16,963 HELEN: Besides, that condo was too much house. 589 00:22:16,996 --> 00:22:18,796 [♪] 590 00:22:20,363 --> 00:22:23,330 How many times can you check the car? 591 00:22:23,363 --> 00:22:25,796 I saw a bum sleeping in the Cadillac the other day. 592 00:22:25,830 --> 00:22:29,763 Why would someone break into a car to take a nap? 593 00:22:29,796 --> 00:22:31,830 They don't nap. They make it their home. 594 00:22:31,863 --> 00:22:33,663 They urinate in there! 595 00:22:33,696 --> 00:22:35,014 You're driving me crazy! 596 00:22:35,014 --> 00:22:35,596 You're driving me crazy! 597 00:22:35,630 --> 00:22:37,263 That's it! We're going back to Queens. 598 00:22:37,296 --> 00:22:38,330 Where's my hat? 599 00:22:38,363 --> 00:22:39,330 No! 600 00:22:39,363 --> 00:22:41,296 [♪] 41529

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