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1
00:00:01,766 --> 00:00:03,566
[♪]
2
00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:05,033
All right,
how 'bout this one?
3
00:00:05,066 --> 00:00:06,900
Let's say you're
abducted by aliens.
Fine.
4
00:00:06,933 --> 00:00:08,666
They haul you aboard
the mother ship,
5
00:00:08,700 --> 00:00:11,033
take you back to their planet
as a curiosity.
6
00:00:11,066 --> 00:00:14,666
Now, would you rather be
in their zoo or their circus?
7
00:00:14,700 --> 00:00:16,733
I gotta go zoo.
8
00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:19,400
I feel like I could set
more of my own schedule.
9
00:00:19,433 --> 00:00:21,500
In the circus, you get
to ride around on the train,
10
00:00:21,533 --> 00:00:22,533
see the whole planet.
11
00:00:22,566 --> 00:00:23,733
I'm wearing a little hat.
12
00:00:23,766 --> 00:00:25,533
I'm jumping through fire.
13
00:00:25,566 --> 00:00:27,666
Putting their little
alien heads in my mouth.
14
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:30,000
At least it's show business.
Yeah.
15
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,066
At least it's show business.
Yeah.
16
00:00:31,100 --> 00:00:32,233
But in the zoo, you know,
17
00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:33,833
they might put
a woman in there with me
18
00:00:33,866 --> 00:00:36,066
to, uh, you know,
get me to mate.
19
00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:37,733
What if she's got
no interest in you?
20
00:00:37,766 --> 00:00:40,400
Well, then I'm pretty much
where I am right now.
21
00:00:40,433 --> 00:00:42,500
Just got to take a ride
on a spaceship.
22
00:00:42,533 --> 00:00:43,600
[♪]
23
00:00:46,433 --> 00:00:48,400
[♪]
24
00:00:49,700 --> 00:00:50,766
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
25
00:00:52,933 --> 00:00:55,233
George, why couldn't I use
the bathroom in that store?
26
00:00:55,266 --> 00:00:58,000
Kramer, trust me, this is
the best bathroom in midtown.
27
00:00:58,033 --> 00:00:59,866
[WHIMPERS]
He knows.
28
00:00:59,900 --> 00:01:01,733
It's right in there,
on the left.
29
00:01:01,766 --> 00:01:03,733
Exquisite marble,
high ceilings,
30
00:01:03,766 --> 00:01:05,833
and a flush
like a jet engine.
31
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:06,900
[WHOOSHES]
32
00:01:07,933 --> 00:01:10,500
Now, listen, um,
you better not wait.
33
00:01:10,533 --> 00:01:11,566
I'll catch you later.
34
00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:13,433
You sure?
He knows.
35
00:01:19,533 --> 00:01:20,933
Wow.
36
00:01:21,866 --> 00:01:23,066
Nice.
37
00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:25,600
Why don't you try
your engagement story?
38
00:01:29,333 --> 00:01:30,300
Won't work.
39
00:01:30,333 --> 00:01:31,300
Are you sure?
40
00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:33,366
He knows.
41
00:01:34,033 --> 00:01:35,933
[♪]
42
00:01:37,900 --> 00:01:39,033
ELAINE:
Look, Kevin,
43
00:01:39,066 --> 00:01:40,366
I really like you--
44
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:41,833
Oh.
[CHUCKLES]
45
00:01:41,866 --> 00:01:44,633
--but, um,
maybe we'd be better off
46
00:01:44,666 --> 00:01:45,087
just being...friends.
47
00:01:45,087 --> 00:01:47,166
just being...friends.
48
00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:48,166
Friends?
49
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,500
Yeah. I mean--
50
00:01:50,533 --> 00:01:53,133
Oh, God.
51
00:01:53,166 --> 00:01:56,166
This tuna tastes
like an old sponge.
52
00:01:56,200 --> 00:02:01,033
Friends. Yeah.
Why not friends?
53
00:02:01,066 --> 00:02:03,200
I might like to try that.
54
00:02:03,233 --> 00:02:04,866
Like you and Jerry.
55
00:02:04,900 --> 00:02:06,733
[TOILET FLUSHES]
56
00:02:07,433 --> 00:02:09,166
KRAMER:
Whew!
57
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,366
This damn thing
is jammed again!
58
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:15,087
You know
what happens with these?
59
00:02:15,087 --> 00:02:16,000
You know
what happens with these?
60
00:02:16,033 --> 00:02:18,300
The rollers,
they get flat spots on 'em.
61
00:02:18,333 --> 00:02:19,300
[BEEPING]
62
00:02:19,333 --> 00:02:21,033
Huh?
63
00:02:21,066 --> 00:02:23,833
Hey, Leland wants everyone in
the conference room right now.
64
00:02:23,866 --> 00:02:25,566
Come on, let's go.
65
00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:27,833
Okay. Yeah.
66
00:02:28,833 --> 00:02:30,500
Okay.
67
00:02:33,700 --> 00:02:35,866
ELAINE:
Remember I was telling you
about Gillian,
68
00:02:35,900 --> 00:02:38,333
my friend who writes
for the L.L. Bean catalog.
69
00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:40,466
I really think
you should give her a call.
70
00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:41,700
I don't know,
do you have it--?
71
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:45,087
Not bad.
Wha--? What does she--?
72
00:02:45,087 --> 00:02:46,333
Not bad.
Wha--? What does she--?
73
00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:48,033
I put her stats on the back.
74
00:02:50,266 --> 00:02:52,966
Pretty impressive.
Serious boyfriend, '92 to '95.
75
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:54,066
Uh-huh.
76
00:02:54,100 --> 00:02:55,666
Owns her own car.
Yup.
77
00:02:55,700 --> 00:02:58,700
Favorite president,
James Polk. Hmm.
78
00:02:58,733 --> 00:02:59,966
Let me see that.
79
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,166
So how'd it go
with Kevin?
80
00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:04,466
Did you steel-toe
his ass back to Kentucky?
81
00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:06,400
You are not gonna
believe this.
82
00:03:06,433 --> 00:03:08,500
I told him that I just
wanted to be friends.
83
00:03:08,533 --> 00:03:09,500
He's fine with it.
84
00:03:09,533 --> 00:03:12,000
He really wants
to be friends.
85
00:03:12,033 --> 00:03:13,500
Why would anybody
want a friend?
86
00:03:13,533 --> 00:03:15,087
[GROANS]
87
00:03:15,087 --> 00:03:15,166
[GROANS]
88
00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:16,833
It's really not
that bad, actually.
89
00:03:16,866 --> 00:03:19,133
He said he'd go with me
to the Museum of Miniatures.
90
00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:20,466
This is something
91
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:21,500
you would never, ever do.
92
00:03:21,533 --> 00:03:24,233
I mean, all that stuff
is so small.
93
00:03:25,566 --> 00:03:26,566
Stupid.
94
00:03:27,766 --> 00:03:29,500
You know, if I told
my engagement story
95
00:03:29,533 --> 00:03:31,166
to that receptionist,
96
00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:34,166
but told her
this was my fiancée...
97
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:36,200
What?
Don't you see?
98
00:03:36,233 --> 00:03:38,400
Women like that
are like members
99
00:03:38,433 --> 00:03:41,666
of a secret tribe
living in a forbidden city.
100
00:03:41,700 --> 00:03:45,087
People like me have not been
inside in thousands of years.
101
00:03:45,087 --> 00:03:45,133
People like me have not been
inside in thousands of years.
102
00:03:45,166 --> 00:03:48,333
But with this,
it's like I've already been
103
00:03:48,366 --> 00:03:50,066
with one of her own.
104
00:03:50,100 --> 00:03:53,033
My hand's been stamped.
I come and go as I please.
105
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,166
Well, you've cracked it.
106
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,666
I warned the queen
you were getting close,
107
00:03:58,700 --> 00:04:01,200
and now it looks like
we're gonna have to move
108
00:04:01,233 --> 00:04:03,333
the whole damn
forbidden city.
109
00:04:04,366 --> 00:04:05,333
Can I keep this?
110
00:04:05,366 --> 00:04:06,333
No, I need it.
111
00:04:06,366 --> 00:04:07,333
Thanks.
112
00:04:07,366 --> 00:04:09,333
[♪]
113
00:04:11,866 --> 00:04:13,966
Hi. I'm, uh--
114
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,087
I'm here to see
a Mr. Art Vandelay.
115
00:04:15,087 --> 00:04:16,166
I'm here to see
a Mr. Art Vandelay.
116
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:19,000
I'm sorry, sir,
there is no Mr. Vandelay here.
117
00:04:19,033 --> 00:04:20,666
Well, let me-- Heh.
118
00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:22,866
Let me just, uh,
check and make sure
119
00:04:22,900 --> 00:04:25,133
I have the right name.
Ha, ha, ha.
120
00:04:25,166 --> 00:04:27,000
I seem to-- Oh, I--
Oh.
121
00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:31,200
Oh, she's beautiful.
Who is she?
122
00:04:31,233 --> 00:04:35,300
Well, if you must know,
she was my fiancée, Susan.
123
00:04:35,333 --> 00:04:37,033
May she rest in peace.
124
00:04:37,066 --> 00:04:40,533
I am so sorry.
She was lovely.
125
00:04:41,933 --> 00:04:43,133
I'm Amanda.
126
00:04:43,166 --> 00:04:44,800
I'm George.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
127
00:04:44,833 --> 00:04:45,087
Good work today, K-Man.
128
00:04:45,087 --> 00:04:46,000
Good work today, K-Man.
129
00:04:46,033 --> 00:04:47,333
Well, you know
what they say:
130
00:04:47,366 --> 00:04:49,333
You don't sell the steak,
you sell the sizzle.
131
00:04:49,366 --> 00:04:51,333
[LAUGHS]
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
132
00:04:51,366 --> 00:04:53,333
In that case,
make mine a double.
133
00:04:53,366 --> 00:04:55,533
[♪]
134
00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:58,166
WOMAN:
Jerry?
135
00:04:58,200 --> 00:04:59,866
Gillian. Hi.
136
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:01,200
It's very nice to meet you.
137
00:05:01,233 --> 00:05:02,533
It's nice to meet you.
138
00:05:11,433 --> 00:05:14,033
She had man-hands.
139
00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:18,833
Man-hands?
140
00:05:18,866 --> 00:05:20,400
The hands of a man.
141
00:05:20,433 --> 00:05:23,233
It's like a creature
out of Greek mythology.
142
00:05:23,266 --> 00:05:25,000
Oh.
I mean, she was,
like, part woman,
143
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:27,066
part horrible beast.
144
00:05:28,266 --> 00:05:31,800
Would you prefer it
if she had no hands at all?
145
00:05:31,833 --> 00:05:33,900
Would she have hooks?
146
00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:37,566
Do, uh...
147
00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:40,266
Do hooks make it
more attractive, Jerry?
148
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:42,700
Kind of cool-lookin'.
149
00:05:44,166 --> 00:05:45,087
Okay, listen,
you're picking me up
150
00:05:45,087 --> 00:05:46,500
Okay, listen,
you're picking me up
151
00:05:46,533 --> 00:05:48,033
from White Plains
tomorrow, right?
152
00:05:48,066 --> 00:05:49,166
Yeah. Yeah.
153
00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:50,833
Okay, I got five
huge boxes of buttons.
154
00:05:50,866 --> 00:05:52,566
Well, if you need
an extra set of hands,
155
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,000
I know who you can call.
Jerry!
156
00:05:54,033 --> 00:05:55,933
[KETTLE WHISTLING]
157
00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:05,500
Kramer?
158
00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:06,833
Hey, buddy. Hey.
159
00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:09,333
It's 8:00 in the morning.
What the hell is going on?
160
00:06:09,366 --> 00:06:10,366
Breakfast.
161
00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:13,500
I gotta be in
at Brandt-Leland by 9.
162
00:06:13,533 --> 00:06:15,033
Why?
163
00:06:16,333 --> 00:06:18,900
Because I'm working there,
that's why.
164
00:06:18,933 --> 00:06:20,333
How long
have I been asleep?
165
00:06:20,366 --> 00:06:22,733
What--?
What year is it?
166
00:06:22,766 --> 00:06:25,033
Look, Jerry, I don't know
if you've noticed,
167
00:06:25,066 --> 00:06:27,666
but lately I've been
drifting aimlessly.
168
00:06:27,700 --> 00:06:29,833
Now that you mention it...
169
00:06:29,866 --> 00:06:33,000
But I finally realized
what's missing in my life.
170
00:06:33,033 --> 00:06:33,933
Structure.
171
00:06:35,233 --> 00:06:37,533
And at Brandt-Leland,
I'm getting things done.
172
00:06:37,566 --> 00:06:39,400
And I love the people
I'm working with.
173
00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:41,166
How much are they paying?
174
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,233
No, no, no, no.
I don't want any pay.
175
00:06:43,266 --> 00:06:45,087
I'm doing this just for me.
176
00:06:45,087 --> 00:06:45,500
I'm doing this just for me.
177
00:06:45,533 --> 00:06:46,966
Clearly.
178
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,166
So, uh, what do you do
down there all day?
179
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,833
TCB.
180
00:06:50,866 --> 00:06:52,433
You know,
taking care of business.
181
00:06:55,033 --> 00:06:57,700
Ah! I gotta go.
All right, then.
182
00:06:57,733 --> 00:06:59,066
I'll see you tonight, huh.
183
00:07:00,033 --> 00:07:01,366
Forget my briefcase.
184
00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:02,733
Well, what do
you got in there?
185
00:07:02,766 --> 00:07:04,066
Crackers.
186
00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:06,566
[SHEENA EASTON'S "MORNING TRAIN
(NINE TO FIVE)" PLAYING]
187
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:11,500
♪ And thenHe takes another home again ♪
188
00:07:11,533 --> 00:07:15,087
♪ To find me waiting for him ♪
189
00:07:15,087 --> 00:07:15,366
♪ To find me waiting for him ♪
190
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,066
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
191
00:07:17,100 --> 00:07:19,566
♪ My baby takes
The morning train ♪
192
00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:23,166
♪ He works from 9 till 5And then ♪
193
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:27,300
♪He takes another home again ♪
194
00:07:27,333 --> 00:07:30,866
♪ To find me waiting for him ♪
195
00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:33,133
♪ He takes me to a movieOr to a restaurant ♪
196
00:07:33,166 --> 00:07:34,200
I'm gonna go that way!
197
00:07:34,233 --> 00:07:35,533
[ALL LAUGHING]
198
00:07:36,766 --> 00:07:39,000
JERRY:
So the picture worked.
Amazing!
199
00:07:39,033 --> 00:07:41,633
Hey, she wants me
to dress, uh, smart casual.
200
00:07:41,666 --> 00:07:43,033
What, uh--?
What is that?
201
00:07:43,066 --> 00:07:44,533
I don't know,
but you don't have it.
202
00:07:44,566 --> 00:07:45,087
Right. Bye.
203
00:07:45,087 --> 00:07:45,533
Right. Bye.
204
00:07:52,533 --> 00:07:54,033
Where were you today?
205
00:07:54,066 --> 00:07:56,233
What?
Pick up.
206
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:57,966
Damn.
207
00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,733
So? Where were you?
208
00:08:00,766 --> 00:08:02,333
Uh, here, I guess.
209
00:08:02,366 --> 00:08:04,700
And, uh, I went out
and picked up a paper.
210
00:08:04,733 --> 00:08:07,000
I had to ask Kevin...
211
00:08:07,033 --> 00:08:09,966
to leave his office
and come and pick me up.
212
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,000
Well, what are friends for?
Yes.
213
00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:13,666
And he is a friend, Jerry.
214
00:08:13,700 --> 00:08:15,087
He's reliable,
he's considerate.
215
00:08:15,087 --> 00:08:16,633
He's reliable,
he's considerate.
216
00:08:16,666 --> 00:08:19,500
He's like your...
exact opposite.
217
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:21,233
So he's Bizarro Jerry.
218
00:08:22,700 --> 00:08:23,966
Bizarro Jerry?
219
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,633
Yeah, like Bizarro Superman.
220
00:08:25,666 --> 00:08:28,833
Superman's exact opposite,
221
00:08:28,866 --> 00:08:31,333
who lives in the backwards
Bizarro World.
222
00:08:31,366 --> 00:08:33,533
Up is down, down is up.
223
00:08:33,566 --> 00:08:36,966
He says hello when he leaves,
goodbye when he arrives.
224
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:40,166
Shouldn't he say "badbye"?
225
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,466
Isn't that the opposite
of goodbye?
226
00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:44,700
No, it's still goodbye.
227
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,300
Does he live underwater?
228
00:08:47,333 --> 00:08:49,133
No.
Is he black?
229
00:08:49,166 --> 00:08:51,866
Look, just forget
the whole thing, all right?
230
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,666
[SIGHS]
231
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,566
Wow, man.
232
00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:58,366
What a day.
233
00:09:00,033 --> 00:09:01,700
Could I use a drink.
234
00:09:01,733 --> 00:09:02,900
Tough day
at the office?
235
00:09:02,933 --> 00:09:04,233
People kept coming in,
236
00:09:04,266 --> 00:09:07,066
and that phone
just wouldn't stop.
237
00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:08,633
[EXHALES]
238
00:09:08,666 --> 00:09:10,400
Well, we better get going
if we're gonna go
239
00:09:10,433 --> 00:09:11,866
to that, uh, 7:00
Hall of Fusion.
240
00:09:11,900 --> 00:09:13,133
Yeah, well,
count me out.
241
00:09:13,166 --> 00:09:14,533
I'm swimming in it.
242
00:09:14,566 --> 00:09:15,087
Old man Leland
is busting my hump
243
00:09:15,087 --> 00:09:15,966
Old man Leland
is busting my hump
244
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:18,666
over these reports.
245
00:09:18,700 --> 00:09:20,700
If I don't get 'em done
by 9, I'm toast.
246
00:09:22,766 --> 00:09:24,166
[COUGHS]
247
00:09:27,066 --> 00:09:28,300
All right,
I have to go.
248
00:09:28,333 --> 00:09:29,300
Whew.
249
00:09:29,333 --> 00:09:30,400
Oh, and, uh, listen.
250
00:09:30,433 --> 00:09:34,666
Uh, could you keep it down
to a low roar?
251
00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:38,500
Some of us have to work
in the morning. Thanks.
252
00:09:38,533 --> 00:09:40,400
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
253
00:09:40,433 --> 00:09:42,500
GEORGE:
This is a fantastic place.
254
00:09:42,533 --> 00:09:45,087
I always thought
it was a meat-packing plant.
255
00:09:45,087 --> 00:09:45,233
I always thought
it was a meat-packing plant.
256
00:09:45,266 --> 00:09:47,000
Hey, Amanda.
257
00:09:47,033 --> 00:09:51,866
These are my friends.
Annabell, Justina and Mickey.
258
00:09:51,900 --> 00:09:53,133
We used to model together.
259
00:09:53,166 --> 00:09:54,633
Oh, modeling.
260
00:09:54,666 --> 00:09:56,300
What's that like, fun?
261
00:09:56,333 --> 00:09:57,333
[CHUCKLES]
262
00:09:57,366 --> 00:10:00,000
GEORGE:
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!
263
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:02,500
So, Mickey,
how was Paris this time?
264
00:10:02,533 --> 00:10:03,900
A bore.
265
00:10:03,933 --> 00:10:05,633
You know who used
to love Paris?
266
00:10:05,666 --> 00:10:09,500
My, uh,
dead fiancée, Susan.
267
00:10:09,533 --> 00:10:13,533
In fact, I think
I may have a picture of her.
268
00:10:16,266 --> 00:10:17,866
Wow.
269
00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:19,333
She was beautiful.
270
00:10:19,366 --> 00:10:21,266
Do you wanna dance?
271
00:10:26,833 --> 00:10:28,333
Would you like
some bread, Jerry?
272
00:10:28,366 --> 00:10:31,500
No. No, thanks,
I'm just not hungry.
273
00:10:31,533 --> 00:10:33,066
Well, then,
at least drink your beer.
274
00:10:34,033 --> 00:10:34,933
[SQUEAKS]
275
00:10:37,066 --> 00:10:39,066
[SOFTLY]
It's not a twist-off.
276
00:10:40,533 --> 00:10:42,433
You have a little something
on your face.
277
00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:44,500
I can get it.
278
00:10:44,533 --> 00:10:45,087
No, no. No, no.
You're missing it.
279
00:10:45,087 --> 00:10:46,133
No, no. No, no.
You're missing it.
280
00:10:46,166 --> 00:10:47,100
It's higher.
281
00:10:50,333 --> 00:10:52,500
It's an eyelash. Make a wish.
282
00:10:52,533 --> 00:10:53,500
I don't want to.
283
00:10:53,533 --> 00:10:54,500
Make a wish.
284
00:10:54,533 --> 00:10:55,500
Okay.
285
00:10:58,766 --> 00:11:00,433
Didn't come true.
286
00:11:04,166 --> 00:11:06,033
Don't you just love lobster?
287
00:11:10,733 --> 00:11:12,166
[♪]
288
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:14,633
KEVIN:
That Museum of Miniatures
was amazing.
289
00:11:14,666 --> 00:11:15,087
I know, it was so tiny.
290
00:11:15,087 --> 00:11:15,666
I know, it was so tiny.
291
00:11:15,700 --> 00:11:16,666
Yeah.
292
00:11:16,700 --> 00:11:17,800
Hey, guys.
293
00:11:17,833 --> 00:11:19,033
Elaine, sit down.
294
00:11:19,066 --> 00:11:20,466
These are a couple
of my friends.
295
00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:21,466
This is Gene,
296
00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:24,433
and this guy
we just call Feldman.
297
00:11:27,366 --> 00:11:29,933
Bizarro World.
298
00:11:35,088 --> 00:11:36,055
[♪]
299
00:11:36,088 --> 00:11:37,822
GEORGE:
Jerry, it was incredible!
300
00:11:37,855 --> 00:11:40,822
Models as far
as the eye could see.
301
00:11:40,855 --> 00:11:42,322
Then it does exist.
302
00:11:42,355 --> 00:11:44,522
Yes, the legends are true.
303
00:11:44,555 --> 00:11:46,388
When are you going out
with this girl again?
304
00:11:46,422 --> 00:11:47,822
I'm not.
305
00:11:47,855 --> 00:11:49,855
I'm inside the walls.
306
00:11:49,888 --> 00:11:52,388
So you're gonna burn
that bridge.
307
00:11:52,422 --> 00:11:55,055
Flame on!
308
00:11:55,088 --> 00:11:56,322
So when are we going?
309
00:11:56,355 --> 00:11:58,155
Well, it's...
310
00:11:58,188 --> 00:12:00,588
It's a pretty
fast-paced crowd.
311
00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:02,622
What would you wear?
312
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:03,610
That?
313
00:12:03,610 --> 00:12:03,955
That?
314
00:12:03,988 --> 00:12:06,222
You know, I'm the one
who's actually dating
315
00:12:06,255 --> 00:12:08,188
the woman
in the picture.
316
00:12:08,222 --> 00:12:09,555
Yeah.
317
00:12:09,588 --> 00:12:11,888
But I was engaged to her.
318
00:12:14,088 --> 00:12:15,955
I got it.
You got it last time.
319
00:12:15,988 --> 00:12:18,055
Don't worry
about it.
320
00:12:18,088 --> 00:12:20,222
This is unbelievable.
321
00:12:20,255 --> 00:12:21,222
Say, Elaine.
322
00:12:21,255 --> 00:12:23,788
What do you think
of an alarm clock
323
00:12:23,822 --> 00:12:26,555
that automatically tells you
the weather when you wake up?
324
00:12:26,588 --> 00:12:29,222
Well, I gotta say,
I think that
325
00:12:29,255 --> 00:12:32,388
that is a fantastic idea,
Feldman.
326
00:12:32,422 --> 00:12:33,610
Nah, I-- I don't--
It's not practical.
327
00:12:33,610 --> 00:12:35,955
Nah, I-- I don't--
It's not practical.
328
00:12:35,988 --> 00:12:37,855
Well, see you later,
Elaine.
329
00:12:37,888 --> 00:12:40,055
Feldman and I gotta get
down to the library.
330
00:12:40,088 --> 00:12:41,655
What are you gonna do
down there?
331
00:12:41,688 --> 00:12:43,322
Read.
332
00:12:47,588 --> 00:12:49,488
Hello.
333
00:12:50,155 --> 00:12:52,088
[♪]
334
00:12:54,588 --> 00:12:57,122
So, uh, Gillian's
coming over later.
335
00:12:57,155 --> 00:12:58,555
I'm gonna end it.
336
00:12:58,588 --> 00:12:59,588
Uh-huh.
337
00:13:00,322 --> 00:13:02,188
Those meaty paws.
338
00:13:02,222 --> 00:13:03,610
I feel like I'm dating
George "The Animal" Steele.
339
00:13:03,610 --> 00:13:04,655
I feel like I'm dating
George "The Animal" Steele.
340
00:13:05,322 --> 00:13:06,955
Yeah.
341
00:13:06,988 --> 00:13:08,855
Maybe I'll chain her
to the refrigerator
342
00:13:08,888 --> 00:13:10,422
and sell tickets.
343
00:13:11,188 --> 00:13:13,155
That's nice.
344
00:13:13,188 --> 00:13:14,355
Kramer, put the paper down.
345
00:13:14,388 --> 00:13:16,155
You never listen
to me anymore.
346
00:13:16,188 --> 00:13:17,488
We hardly even talk.
347
00:13:17,522 --> 00:13:19,655
Well, we're talking now,
aren't we?
348
00:13:19,688 --> 00:13:21,555
I see you for 20 lousy
minutes in the morning.
349
00:13:21,588 --> 00:13:22,555
Here we go.
350
00:13:22,588 --> 00:13:23,888
And when you come home
at night,
351
00:13:23,922 --> 00:13:25,055
you're always exhausted.
352
00:13:25,088 --> 00:13:26,688
We never do anything
anymore.
353
00:13:26,722 --> 00:13:28,155
What are you starting
with me for?
354
00:13:28,188 --> 00:13:29,922
You know this is
my crazy time of year.
355
00:13:32,822 --> 00:13:33,610
It's your third day.
356
00:13:33,610 --> 00:13:35,388
It's your third day.
357
00:13:37,355 --> 00:13:40,422
I gotta go to work.
We'll talk about this later.
358
00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:42,355
Well...
359
00:13:42,388 --> 00:13:44,888
Call if you're gonna be late!
360
00:13:47,588 --> 00:13:48,722
What?
361
00:13:48,755 --> 00:13:50,055
What is going on
with you two?
362
00:13:50,088 --> 00:13:51,755
Oh, I don't wanna
talk about it.
363
00:13:54,255 --> 00:13:56,355
All right, listen.
Have you seen my addre--?
364
00:13:56,388 --> 00:13:58,322
Ah, there it is.
Okay. I got it.
365
00:13:58,355 --> 00:13:59,355
I'll see you later.
366
00:13:59,388 --> 00:14:00,655
Hey, hey, hey.
Wait a second.
367
00:14:00,688 --> 00:14:03,022
Where you going?
I hardly ever see you anymore.
368
00:14:03,055 --> 00:14:03,610
Well, I--
369
00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:04,688
Well, I--
370
00:14:06,088 --> 00:14:07,722
I guess I've been at Reggies.
371
00:14:07,755 --> 00:14:09,722
The Bizarro coffee shop?
372
00:14:09,755 --> 00:14:12,322
Kevin and his friends
are nice people.
373
00:14:12,355 --> 00:14:14,155
They do good things.
374
00:14:14,188 --> 00:14:15,455
They read.
375
00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:16,555
I read.
376
00:14:16,588 --> 00:14:18,422
Books, Jerry.
377
00:14:19,422 --> 00:14:20,755
Oh.
378
00:14:22,422 --> 00:14:24,155
Big deal.
379
00:14:27,188 --> 00:14:29,622
I can't spend
the rest of my life
380
00:14:29,655 --> 00:14:31,788
coming into this
stinking apartment
381
00:14:31,822 --> 00:14:33,455
every 10 minutes
382
00:14:33,488 --> 00:14:33,610
to pore over
the excruciating minutiae
383
00:14:33,610 --> 00:14:38,222
to pore over
the excruciating minutiae
384
00:14:38,255 --> 00:14:42,622
of every single daily event.
385
00:14:42,655 --> 00:14:44,888
Why not? Like yesterday,
I went to the bank
386
00:14:44,922 --> 00:14:46,222
to make a deposit,
387
00:14:46,255 --> 00:14:47,722
and the teller
gives me this look--
388
00:14:47,755 --> 00:14:49,422
I'll see you later, man.
I gotta go.
389
00:14:50,555 --> 00:14:52,755
The whole system
is breaking down!
390
00:14:53,922 --> 00:14:55,655
[♪]
391
00:14:55,688 --> 00:14:56,755
[HAIR DRYER BLOWING]
392
00:15:01,155 --> 00:15:02,922
[PHONE RINGS]
393
00:15:06,088 --> 00:15:07,388
Hello?
394
00:15:07,422 --> 00:15:09,055
Amanda, hi, yeah.
395
00:15:09,088 --> 00:15:10,988
Listen, you know,
I'm thinking we might just
396
00:15:11,022 --> 00:15:12,822
be better off
being friends.
397
00:15:12,855 --> 00:15:14,188
Yeah. Yeah. You know what?
398
00:15:14,222 --> 00:15:16,222
I can't even really talk
about it right now.
399
00:15:16,255 --> 00:15:17,255
Bye-bye.
400
00:15:21,922 --> 00:15:24,488
No. No!
401
00:15:24,522 --> 00:15:25,855
Friends? Just friends.
402
00:15:25,888 --> 00:15:28,555
Yeah.
Yeah.
403
00:15:28,588 --> 00:15:29,688
All right.
404
00:15:29,722 --> 00:15:31,888
Well, do you still wanna
see a movie later?
405
00:15:31,922 --> 00:15:33,610
I wish I could,
but we're friends.
406
00:15:33,610 --> 00:15:34,888
I wish I could,
but we're friends.
407
00:15:36,588 --> 00:15:38,022
I'm just gonna go wash
my hands.
408
00:15:38,055 --> 00:15:39,055
Good idea.
409
00:15:39,088 --> 00:15:40,822
[PHONE RINGS]
410
00:15:40,855 --> 00:15:42,855
There's a beach towel
on the rack.
411
00:15:45,322 --> 00:15:46,288
Yeah.
412
00:15:46,322 --> 00:15:47,388
Jerry!
Jerry, my--
413
00:15:47,422 --> 00:15:48,955
My hair dryer
ruined the picture.
414
00:15:48,988 --> 00:15:50,322
Now I need one
or I can't get back
415
00:15:50,355 --> 00:15:51,555
into the forbidden city.
416
00:15:52,688 --> 00:15:53,988
Who is this?
417
00:15:54,022 --> 00:15:56,988
Jerry! I need you to get
another picture of man-hands.
418
00:15:57,022 --> 00:15:58,855
I'm begging you.
419
00:16:00,388 --> 00:16:02,388
If I get it for you,
will you take me to that club
420
00:16:02,422 --> 00:16:03,610
and show me a good time?
421
00:16:03,610 --> 00:16:03,688
and show me a good time?
422
00:16:03,722 --> 00:16:05,522
Yes, yes, all right.
Anything.
423
00:16:05,555 --> 00:16:06,555
Okay.
424
00:16:07,722 --> 00:16:09,755
[WATER RUNNING]
425
00:16:19,055 --> 00:16:20,355
Got it.
426
00:16:20,388 --> 00:16:21,055
[WHIMPERING]
427
00:16:21,088 --> 00:16:23,022
[♪]
428
00:16:25,422 --> 00:16:27,188
Jerry.
Hey, Jerry?
429
00:16:27,222 --> 00:16:28,388
I'm right here.
430
00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:31,522
Oh, hey.
431
00:16:32,155 --> 00:16:33,155
You're late.
432
00:16:33,188 --> 00:16:33,610
Yeah, well,
I got held up, you know.
433
00:16:33,610 --> 00:16:35,322
Yeah, well,
I got held up, you know.
434
00:16:35,355 --> 00:16:36,788
What happened to your hand?
435
00:16:36,822 --> 00:16:39,655
Like you care.
436
00:16:39,688 --> 00:16:41,322
Work piled up,
I lost track of the time.
437
00:16:41,355 --> 00:16:43,288
Oh, sure, sure.
You and your work.
438
00:16:43,322 --> 00:16:44,855
Elaine's off
in the Bizarro World,
439
00:16:44,888 --> 00:16:46,722
George only calls
when he wants something,
440
00:16:46,755 --> 00:16:49,188
and I'm left sitting here
like this plate of cold chicken.
441
00:16:49,222 --> 00:16:50,222
Which, by the way...
442
00:16:50,255 --> 00:16:51,322
[CLATTERS]
443
00:16:51,355 --> 00:16:53,655
...was for two.
444
00:16:53,688 --> 00:16:54,788
What, you cooked?
445
00:16:54,822 --> 00:16:56,855
I ordered in.
It's still effort.
446
00:16:58,155 --> 00:16:59,155
Oh, jeez.
447
00:16:59,188 --> 00:17:01,288
What's wrong?
It's my stomach.
448
00:17:01,322 --> 00:17:03,055
You're probably
getting an ulcer.
449
00:17:03,088 --> 00:17:03,610
This job is killing you.
450
00:17:03,610 --> 00:17:05,022
This job is killing you.
451
00:17:05,055 --> 00:17:07,322
It's killing us.
452
00:17:07,355 --> 00:17:09,288
You know what?
You're right.
453
00:17:09,322 --> 00:17:11,288
These reports, they can wait
a couple of hours.
454
00:17:11,322 --> 00:17:12,655
What do you say
we go out tonight?
455
00:17:12,688 --> 00:17:13,655
Any place you want.
456
00:17:13,688 --> 00:17:14,822
The coffee shop?
457
00:17:14,855 --> 00:17:16,822
You got it, buddy.
I'll call George.
458
00:17:16,855 --> 00:17:18,822
[♪]
459
00:17:20,222 --> 00:17:21,488
Hey, isn't
that Elaine?
460
00:17:21,522 --> 00:17:23,522
Maybe she can get me
a picture of man-hands.
461
00:17:23,555 --> 00:17:24,822
Elaine!
Elaine!
462
00:17:24,855 --> 00:17:26,555
GEORGE: Laney!
KRAMER:Elaine!
463
00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:28,155
JERRY: Elaine?
KEVIN: Hey, Elaine.
464
00:17:28,188 --> 00:17:30,022
Hi. Over here.
465
00:17:30,055 --> 00:17:32,022
[♪]
466
00:17:41,755 --> 00:17:45,388
Jerry, George, Kramer,
467
00:17:45,422 --> 00:17:50,355
this is Kevin,
Gene and Feldman.
468
00:17:51,822 --> 00:17:54,188
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
Nice to meet you.
469
00:17:55,055 --> 00:17:56,722
This is
really weird.
470
00:17:58,188 --> 00:18:01,355
Uh, could you guys excuse us
just for a moment?
471
00:18:01,388 --> 00:18:02,755
Sure.
Thanks.
472
00:18:04,522 --> 00:18:06,222
What? What do you guys want?
473
00:18:06,255 --> 00:18:08,488
Elaine, I've got to have
another picture of Gillian.
474
00:18:08,522 --> 00:18:09,855
I tried to get him one,
475
00:18:09,888 --> 00:18:12,155
but man-hands almost ripped
my arm out of the socket.
476
00:18:12,188 --> 00:18:13,822
You could have gotten one.
I could not.
477
00:18:15,088 --> 00:18:16,155
[GROANS]
478
00:18:23,822 --> 00:18:24,855
Guys...
479
00:18:24,888 --> 00:18:26,988
I gotta go.
480
00:18:27,022 --> 00:18:28,188
Take it easy.
481
00:18:30,388 --> 00:18:31,355
Elaine?
482
00:18:34,355 --> 00:18:35,555
Can I come?
483
00:18:35,588 --> 00:18:37,822
I'm-- I'm sorry.
484
00:18:37,855 --> 00:18:39,688
We've already got a George.
485
00:18:43,255 --> 00:18:45,188
[♪]
486
00:18:47,855 --> 00:18:50,055
KRAMER:
What did you wanna see me
about, Mr. Leland?
487
00:18:50,088 --> 00:18:52,888
Kramer, I've been reviewing
your work.
488
00:18:52,922 --> 00:18:54,555
Quite frankly, it stinks.
489
00:18:56,022 --> 00:18:57,888
Well, I, uh...
490
00:18:57,922 --> 00:19:00,988
I've been having trouble
at home, and, uh...
491
00:19:01,022 --> 00:19:03,188
I mean, uh, you know,
I'll work harder.
492
00:19:03,222 --> 00:19:03,610
Nights, weekends,
whatever it takes.
493
00:19:03,610 --> 00:19:05,155
Nights, weekends,
whatever it takes.
494
00:19:05,188 --> 00:19:08,988
No. No, I don't think
that's going to do it, uh...
495
00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:11,488
These reports you handed in,
496
00:19:11,522 --> 00:19:14,722
it's almost as if you have
no business training at all.
497
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,388
I don't know
what this is supposed to be.
498
00:19:19,688 --> 00:19:23,122
Well, I'm, uh...
Just trying to get ahead.
499
00:19:23,155 --> 00:19:24,655
Well, I'm sorry.
500
00:19:24,688 --> 00:19:26,655
There's just no way
that we could keep you on.
501
00:19:26,688 --> 00:19:29,022
But I don't even
really work here.
502
00:19:32,155 --> 00:19:33,610
That's what makes this
so difficult.
503
00:19:33,610 --> 00:19:34,088
That's what makes this
so difficult.
504
00:19:37,488 --> 00:19:39,788
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
505
00:19:39,822 --> 00:19:42,822
Hi, I'm George.
506
00:19:42,855 --> 00:19:44,988
Are you sure
you're supposed to be here?
507
00:19:45,022 --> 00:19:46,455
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
508
00:19:46,488 --> 00:19:48,388
I used to come here
all the time with my fiancée
509
00:19:48,422 --> 00:19:50,788
back when it was
a meat-packing plant.
510
00:19:50,822 --> 00:19:53,155
Here's her picture.
511
00:19:53,188 --> 00:19:56,455
What'd you do? Cut this out
of a magazine or something?
512
00:19:56,488 --> 00:19:57,488
What?
513
00:19:57,522 --> 00:19:58,622
That's me.
514
00:19:58,655 --> 00:20:00,455
It's from a Clinique ad I did.
515
00:20:00,488 --> 00:20:02,988
[CHUCKLES]
Look at that.
516
00:20:03,022 --> 00:20:03,610
Let's go. Private party.
517
00:20:03,610 --> 00:20:06,155
Let's go. Private party.
518
00:20:06,188 --> 00:20:08,288
[DOORBELL RINGS]
519
00:20:08,322 --> 00:20:09,388
ELAINE:
It's Laney.
520
00:20:11,655 --> 00:20:12,622
Hi, Elaine.
521
00:20:12,655 --> 00:20:13,622
Hi, Kevin. Oh!
522
00:20:13,655 --> 00:20:14,655
Oh-ho.
Ohhh.
523
00:20:14,688 --> 00:20:16,322
Come on in.
Okay.
524
00:20:16,355 --> 00:20:17,355
Hi, Gene.
525
00:20:39,522 --> 00:20:40,488
What's up?
526
00:20:40,522 --> 00:20:42,655
Just reading.
527
00:20:44,688 --> 00:20:45,755
Aah.
528
00:20:50,688 --> 00:20:52,455
Hey, what are you doing?
529
00:20:52,488 --> 00:20:54,155
Eatin' olives.
530
00:20:54,188 --> 00:20:55,488
Ever hear of asking?
531
00:20:55,522 --> 00:20:56,988
[DOORBELL RINGS]
532
00:20:58,322 --> 00:20:59,455
Who is it?
533
00:20:59,488 --> 00:21:01,955
Feldman,
from across the hall.
534
00:21:01,988 --> 00:21:02,988
Hold on.
535
00:21:09,088 --> 00:21:10,488
Hey.
Hey, Kevin.
536
00:21:10,522 --> 00:21:12,255
Hi.
Look who I ran into.
537
00:21:14,188 --> 00:21:15,555
[FLATLY]
Hello, Kevin.
538
00:21:15,588 --> 00:21:17,922
[FLATLY]
Hello, Vargas.
539
00:21:18,888 --> 00:21:20,622
[BOTH LAUGHING]
540
00:21:20,655 --> 00:21:22,188
Wanna catch a ball game
this weekend?
541
00:21:22,222 --> 00:21:23,388
Great.
Okay, great.
542
00:21:23,422 --> 00:21:24,522
I'll see you later.
Okay.
543
00:21:25,355 --> 00:21:27,188
Vargas.
544
00:21:27,222 --> 00:21:29,355
Well...I got 'em.
545
00:21:29,388 --> 00:21:30,455
All right!
546
00:21:30,488 --> 00:21:32,188
Hey, Elaine,
Feldman was able
547
00:21:32,222 --> 00:21:33,610
to get us all tickets
to the Bolshoi.
548
00:21:33,610 --> 00:21:33,788
to get us all tickets
to the Bolshoi.
549
00:21:33,822 --> 00:21:34,788
[GASPS]
550
00:21:34,822 --> 00:21:35,888
Fourth row,
center.
551
00:21:35,922 --> 00:21:37,522
Get out!
552
00:21:37,555 --> 00:21:39,022
Aah!
553
00:21:40,388 --> 00:21:41,855
What's the matter
with you?
554
00:21:41,888 --> 00:21:42,855
Oh, Kevin.
555
00:21:42,888 --> 00:21:44,122
I'm so sorry.
556
00:21:44,155 --> 00:21:45,722
Is there anything
I can do?
557
00:21:45,755 --> 00:21:47,522
Haven't you done enough
already?
558
00:21:51,155 --> 00:21:52,988
I'll just...
559
00:21:57,688 --> 00:21:58,988
It's--
560
00:21:59,022 --> 00:22:00,655
It's locked.
561
00:22:02,022 --> 00:22:03,610
[♪]
562
00:22:03,610 --> 00:22:04,488
[♪]
563
00:22:10,255 --> 00:22:11,355
So this is it, huh?
564
00:22:13,655 --> 00:22:14,855
But it was--
565
00:22:14,888 --> 00:22:16,155
It was here, I'm telling you.
566
00:22:16,188 --> 00:22:17,555
It wi-wi--
It was really here.
567
00:22:17,588 --> 00:22:18,555
There--
568
00:22:18,588 --> 00:22:20,722
There was a bar and a--
569
00:22:20,755 --> 00:22:22,822
And a dance floor.
570
00:22:22,855 --> 00:22:24,388
I guess the DJ booth
was over there
571
00:22:24,422 --> 00:22:25,555
behind the bone saw?
572
00:22:27,188 --> 00:22:28,555
Let's get
out of here, George.
573
00:22:33,422 --> 00:22:33,610
[♪]
574
00:22:33,610 --> 00:22:35,355
[♪]
575
00:22:41,283 --> 00:22:43,583
[♪]
576
00:22:43,616 --> 00:22:45,949
At work today, I discovered
there's a pay phone
577
00:22:45,983 --> 00:22:48,083
in the lobby
that has free long distance.
578
00:22:48,116 --> 00:22:49,349
Oh, so, what did you do?
579
00:22:49,383 --> 00:22:50,616
I called the phone company
580
00:22:50,649 --> 00:22:52,416
and immediately reported
the error.
581
00:22:52,449 --> 00:22:53,416
Nice.
582
00:22:53,449 --> 00:22:55,249
[DOORBELL RINGS,
KNOCKING ON DOOR]
583
00:22:55,283 --> 00:22:56,249
Who is it?
584
00:22:56,283 --> 00:22:59,083
Feldman,
from across the hall.
585
00:22:59,116 --> 00:23:00,516
Hold on.
586
00:23:05,149 --> 00:23:06,116
Kevin.
587
00:23:06,149 --> 00:23:07,516
Brought you some groceries.
588
00:23:07,549 --> 00:23:08,849
Again?
589
00:23:08,883 --> 00:23:09,942
Feldman, you didn't have
to do that.
590
00:23:09,942 --> 00:23:10,449
Feldman, you didn't have
to do that.
591
00:23:10,483 --> 00:23:12,483
Hey, what are friends for?
592
00:23:12,516 --> 00:23:14,349
You know,
I may not say this enough,
593
00:23:14,383 --> 00:23:16,649
but you two are
about the best friends
594
00:23:16,683 --> 00:23:18,516
a guy could have.
595
00:23:19,016 --> 00:23:20,949
Oh...
596
00:23:20,983 --> 00:23:22,949
Me so happy.
597
00:23:22,983 --> 00:23:25,149
Me want to cry.
598
00:23:25,183 --> 00:23:26,216
[♪]
39410
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