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1
00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:02,666
I never get enough sleep.
2
00:00:02,700 --> 00:00:04,633
I stay up late at night
'cause I'm "night guy."
3
00:00:04,666 --> 00:00:06,400
Night guy wants to stay up late.
4
00:00:06,433 --> 00:00:08,566
"What about getting up
after five hours of sleep?"
5
00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:10,366
"Oh, that's
morning guy's problem.
6
00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:12,533
"That's not my problem.
I'm night guy.
7
00:00:12,566 --> 00:00:14,233
I stay up as late as I want."
8
00:00:14,266 --> 00:00:15,633
So you get up in the morning,
9
00:00:15,666 --> 00:00:17,633
the alarm,
you're exhausted, groggy.
10
00:00:17,666 --> 00:00:19,400
Oh, you hate that night guy.
11
00:00:19,433 --> 00:00:22,666
See, night guy always
screws morning guy.
12
00:00:22,700 --> 00:00:25,500
There's nothing
morning guy can do.
13
00:00:25,533 --> 00:00:26,900
The only thing
morning guy can do
14
00:00:26,933 --> 00:00:28,366
is try and oversleep
often enough
15
00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:29,666
so that day guy
loses his job,
16
00:00:29,700 --> 00:00:30,000
and night guy has no money
to go out anymore.
17
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:32,566
and night guy has no money
to go out anymore.
18
00:00:39,241 --> 00:00:41,282
Do you ever spit
on anybody from here?
19
00:00:41,315 --> 00:00:42,482
No. You?
20
00:00:42,515 --> 00:00:44,482
No.
21
00:00:44,515 --> 00:00:46,348
Do you ever
think about it?
22
00:00:46,382 --> 00:00:47,648
Yeah.
23
00:00:47,682 --> 00:00:48,648
Me too.
24
00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:49,982
[DOOR OPENS]
25
00:00:50,015 --> 00:00:51,615
Hey.
26
00:00:51,648 --> 00:00:52,715
Hey.
27
00:00:54,015 --> 00:00:56,382
Well, I got it.
You got me the air conditioner?
28
00:00:56,415 --> 00:00:58,182
Well, what do you think?
Beautiful.
29
00:00:58,215 --> 00:00:59,482
What air conditioner?
30
00:00:59,515 --> 00:01:01,482
Well, my buddy works
in an appliance store,
31
00:01:01,515 --> 00:01:02,982
and he got us 30% off.
32
00:01:03,015 --> 00:01:04,015
Is it a good one?
33
00:01:04,048 --> 00:01:04,326
Good one?
It's a Commando 8.
34
00:01:04,326 --> 00:01:06,482
Good one?
It's a Commando 8.
35
00:01:06,515 --> 00:01:07,515
Commando 8?
36
00:01:07,548 --> 00:01:09,348
Twelve thousand BTUs.
37
00:01:09,382 --> 00:01:11,048
I thought you hated
air conditioning.
38
00:01:11,082 --> 00:01:12,648
You've never had
an air conditioner.
39
00:01:12,682 --> 00:01:14,448
Yeah, but Amy likes
air conditioning.
40
00:01:14,482 --> 00:01:17,148
Oh, you're getting
an air conditioner for Amy.
41
00:01:17,182 --> 00:01:19,315
Amy doesn't like
the temperature up here.
42
00:01:19,348 --> 00:01:22,615
She's a little hot.
43
00:01:22,648 --> 00:01:23,948
All right.
44
00:01:23,982 --> 00:01:25,482
Okay,
45
00:01:25,515 --> 00:01:27,448
so I'm gonna measure
the window up, okay?
46
00:01:27,482 --> 00:01:28,815
Yeah.
Yeah.
47
00:01:30,848 --> 00:01:32,015
Well...
48
00:01:32,048 --> 00:01:33,515
rock on!
49
00:01:35,482 --> 00:01:37,815
I gotta get out of this city.
50
00:01:37,848 --> 00:01:40,915
So you're tunneling
to the center of the Earth?
51
00:01:43,382 --> 00:01:44,782
I'm at the health club.
52
00:01:44,815 --> 00:01:46,615
And while I'm in the pool,
53
00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:48,348
some guy walks off
with my glasses.
54
00:01:48,382 --> 00:01:51,548
Who steals
prescription glasses?
55
00:01:54,015 --> 00:01:55,515
You don't have an old pair?
56
00:01:55,548 --> 00:01:57,782
I broke 'em
playing basketball.
57
00:01:57,815 --> 00:02:00,748
He was running from a bee.
58
00:02:02,648 --> 00:02:04,215
Now if I want
to see anything,
59
00:02:04,248 --> 00:02:04,326
I gotta wear these.
60
00:02:04,326 --> 00:02:05,848
I gotta wear these.
61
00:02:05,882 --> 00:02:08,348
George, those are
prescription goggles?
62
00:02:09,582 --> 00:02:11,482
What is there to see
in a health-club pool?
63
00:02:11,515 --> 00:02:13,615
There's a lot of change
down there.
64
00:02:13,648 --> 00:02:16,182
When I find that guy,
this much I vow:
65
00:02:16,215 --> 00:02:19,548
Those glasses will be returned
to their rightful owner!
66
00:02:19,582 --> 00:02:22,815
We're behind you, Aquaboy.
Godspeed.
67
00:02:22,848 --> 00:02:25,482
What kind of
a sick, demented person
68
00:02:25,515 --> 00:02:26,948
wants another
person's glasses?
69
00:02:26,982 --> 00:02:29,948
Yeah, especially
those frames.
70
00:02:29,982 --> 00:02:31,282
You know what
you ought to do?
71
00:02:31,315 --> 00:02:34,015
Go see my friend Dwayne at
J&T Optical on Columbus Avenue.
72
00:02:34,048 --> 00:02:34,326
He'll give you 30% off.
73
00:02:34,326 --> 00:02:35,348
He'll give you 30% off.
74
00:02:35,382 --> 00:02:36,848
Pssh. Yeah, come on.
75
00:02:36,882 --> 00:02:39,215
Hey, he just got me 30% off
on an air conditioner.
76
00:02:39,248 --> 00:02:40,315
Really?
77
00:02:40,348 --> 00:02:43,048
Retail is for suckers.
78
00:02:43,082 --> 00:02:44,348
Wow. Uh...
79
00:02:44,382 --> 00:02:45,715
All right,
what do I have to do?
80
00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:47,148
You just gotta
mention my name.
81
00:02:47,182 --> 00:02:48,182
That's it?
82
00:02:48,215 --> 00:02:49,348
That's it. Click!
83
00:02:55,182 --> 00:02:56,548
What about these?
84
00:02:56,582 --> 00:02:59,682
They look good.
I liked the other one too.
85
00:02:59,715 --> 00:03:02,115
I've liked about
five of them.
86
00:03:02,148 --> 00:03:04,326
Well, it's a tough decision.
I have to wear these everyday.
87
00:03:04,326 --> 00:03:05,015
Well, it's a tough decision.
I have to wear these everyday.
88
00:03:05,048 --> 00:03:06,015
[SIGHS]
89
00:03:06,048 --> 00:03:07,548
I'm decidin' on a new face.
90
00:03:07,582 --> 00:03:10,548
Come on, George.
Pick a face and go with it.
91
00:03:11,915 --> 00:03:14,848
Now, those look good.
They're very bold.
92
00:03:16,015 --> 00:03:18,015
Yes, they are bold.
93
00:03:18,848 --> 00:03:20,382
Jerry, what do you think?
94
00:03:20,415 --> 00:03:22,515
I think these women
would be pretty good-lookin'
95
00:03:22,548 --> 00:03:24,582
if they weren't
wearing glasses.
96
00:03:26,015 --> 00:03:27,315
Oh, hi there,
little doggy.
97
00:03:27,348 --> 00:03:28,515
Do you mind
if I pet your dog?
98
00:03:28,548 --> 00:03:30,015
It's okay with me.
[WHIMPERS]
99
00:03:30,048 --> 00:03:31,148
Hi there,
little doggy.
100
00:03:31,182 --> 00:03:32,315
[DOG BARKS]
[SCREAMS]
101
00:03:32,348 --> 00:03:33,948
Hey, you can't have
that dog in here.
102
00:03:33,982 --> 00:03:34,326
You okay?
Did he bite you?
103
00:03:34,326 --> 00:03:35,015
You okay?
Did he bite you?
104
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:36,448
[WHIMPERING]
105
00:03:36,482 --> 00:03:37,548
Can you believe
that guy?
106
00:03:37,582 --> 00:03:39,815
I'm okay
It's just a nip.
107
00:03:39,848 --> 00:03:41,715
He just walked away!
108
00:03:41,748 --> 00:03:45,715
And once again I'm standing
here like a little man.
109
00:03:45,748 --> 00:03:48,182
Well, not
this time.
110
00:03:51,515 --> 00:03:53,348
You! Dog man!
111
00:03:58,915 --> 00:04:00,615
My leg looks pretty bad.
112
00:04:00,648 --> 00:04:02,448
Let me take you over
to the emergency room.
113
00:04:02,482 --> 00:04:03,448
Okay.
114
00:04:03,482 --> 00:04:04,326
Hey, any luck?
Did you catch him?
115
00:04:04,326 --> 00:04:05,482
Hey, any luck?
Did you catch him?
116
00:04:05,515 --> 00:04:06,982
Uh...no, no.
117
00:04:07,015 --> 00:04:09,282
All right, I'm gonna take Elaine
over to the hospital.
118
00:04:09,315 --> 00:04:10,848
Good, good. Do that.
119
00:04:10,882 --> 00:04:12,815
What's the matter?
120
00:04:12,848 --> 00:04:14,815
[LAUGHS]
Oh, nothing.
121
00:04:14,848 --> 00:04:15,848
What is it?
122
00:04:16,848 --> 00:04:18,215
I can't tell you.
123
00:04:18,248 --> 00:04:19,782
Jerry, can we go?
124
00:04:19,815 --> 00:04:21,382
Yeah, yeah,
in a second, in a second.
125
00:04:21,415 --> 00:04:23,148
What do you mean,
you can't tell me?
126
00:04:23,182 --> 00:04:24,482
I can't tell you.
Don't ask.
127
00:04:24,515 --> 00:04:25,482
I'm asking.
128
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:26,515
Jerry,
my leg.
129
00:04:26,548 --> 00:04:29,948
Yeah, yeah. Here.
Take care of it.
130
00:04:29,982 --> 00:04:31,715
Come on, George. What is it?
131
00:04:33,148 --> 00:04:34,326
I saw Amy making out
with your cousin Jeffrey.
132
00:04:34,326 --> 00:04:36,115
I saw Amy making out
with your cousin Jeffrey.
133
00:04:36,148 --> 00:04:37,348
What?
134
00:04:37,382 --> 00:04:38,882
They were right outside.
135
00:04:38,915 --> 00:04:40,348
Amy and Jeffrey?
136
00:04:40,382 --> 00:04:42,215
Yes.
137
00:04:42,248 --> 00:04:43,515
Are you sure?
138
00:04:43,548 --> 00:04:44,715
Yes. Positive.
139
00:04:44,748 --> 00:04:45,715
But you can't see.
140
00:04:45,748 --> 00:04:47,248
There's no lenses
in those frames.
141
00:04:48,915 --> 00:04:52,048
I know. I was squinting.
142
00:04:52,082 --> 00:04:54,482
Okay, listen, Jerry, you just
catch up with me, okay?
143
00:04:54,515 --> 00:04:56,715
You can just follow
the trail of blood.
144
00:04:56,748 --> 00:04:59,415
We're gonna have
to talk about this later.
145
00:05:01,748 --> 00:05:03,682
Thank you.
146
00:05:03,715 --> 00:05:04,326
Taxi!
147
00:05:04,326 --> 00:05:04,915
Taxi!
148
00:05:09,015 --> 00:05:11,548
Excuse me.
What do you think of these?
149
00:05:11,582 --> 00:05:15,215
Oh, we just got those in.
It's a very exciting new frame.
150
00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:18,948
Yes, it is exciting!
151
00:05:18,982 --> 00:05:20,715
All right, this is
gonna be my new face.
152
00:05:20,748 --> 00:05:22,382
All right, do you have
a prescription?
153
00:05:22,415 --> 00:05:23,415
Yeah.
154
00:05:27,548 --> 00:05:29,482
Kramer.
155
00:05:33,182 --> 00:05:34,182
What?
156
00:05:35,548 --> 00:05:36,715
Kramer.
157
00:05:38,548 --> 00:05:39,782
What about him?
158
00:05:39,815 --> 00:05:42,182
You do know Kramer.
159
00:05:42,215 --> 00:05:43,782
Yes.
160
00:05:43,815 --> 00:05:46,015
Well, I'm mentionin' his name.
161
00:05:46,048 --> 00:05:47,648
Cha-chik!
162
00:05:49,315 --> 00:05:50,548
Why?
163
00:05:50,582 --> 00:05:52,482
Because...
164
00:05:52,515 --> 00:05:53,482
You know...
165
00:05:53,515 --> 00:05:55,015
No, I don't know.
166
00:05:55,048 --> 00:05:57,015
Look, I'm gonna need
a deposit on these.
167
00:06:02,348 --> 00:06:04,326
Oh, come on.
Cousin Jeffrey?
168
00:06:04,326 --> 00:06:04,715
Oh, come on.
Cousin Jeffrey?
169
00:06:04,748 --> 00:06:05,982
It's not possible.
170
00:06:06,015 --> 00:06:07,348
Why not? They could've met.
171
00:06:07,382 --> 00:06:09,648
She loves the park, he works
for the Parks Department.
172
00:06:09,682 --> 00:06:10,682
Oh...
173
00:06:11,982 --> 00:06:13,982
Jerry, that is so ridiculous.
174
00:06:14,015 --> 00:06:16,148
George didn't even
have his glasses on.
175
00:06:16,182 --> 00:06:17,215
But he was squinting.
176
00:06:19,048 --> 00:06:21,982
So what? Squinting doesn't make
that much of a difference.
177
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:23,882
Are you kidding?
I've seen him squint.
178
00:06:23,915 --> 00:06:27,815
He can squint his way down
to, like, 20-30 vision.
179
00:06:27,848 --> 00:06:30,815
Once we were driving
down from the Catskills,
180
00:06:30,848 --> 00:06:31,882
and he lost his glasses,
181
00:06:31,915 --> 00:06:33,948
he squinted his way
from Wurtsboro
182
00:06:33,982 --> 00:06:34,326
down to the Tappan Zee Bridge.
183
00:06:34,326 --> 00:06:36,148
down to the Tappan Zee Bridge.
184
00:06:36,182 --> 00:06:38,848
He was spottin' raccoons
on the road.
185
00:06:41,482 --> 00:06:42,548
Okay.
186
00:06:42,582 --> 00:06:44,448
Okay? That's it?
187
00:06:44,482 --> 00:06:45,782
I--? I don't need a shot?
188
00:06:45,815 --> 00:06:48,648
[THICK ACCENT]
Not shot. Dog bite.
189
00:06:50,048 --> 00:06:52,482
No, no, no.
I know I wasn't shot.
190
00:06:52,515 --> 00:06:53,948
Do I need a shot?
191
00:06:53,982 --> 00:06:57,448
Not shot. Dog bite.
192
00:06:57,482 --> 00:06:59,582
Woof-woof, not bang-bang.
193
00:07:06,482 --> 00:07:08,782
Ah, look at this. Cable's out.
194
00:07:08,815 --> 00:07:10,615
Oh, that's okay.
We don't have to watch TV.
195
00:07:10,648 --> 00:07:11,982
No, no, no.
196
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:15,215
No trouble at all.
It's the principle of the thing.
197
00:07:16,748 --> 00:07:20,282
I like them to know that
I know what's going on,
198
00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:21,982
that they're not...
199
00:07:22,015 --> 00:07:25,048
getting away with anything.
200
00:07:25,082 --> 00:07:27,648
Unh, I'm on hold.
201
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,715
So, what'd you do yesterday?
202
00:07:30,748 --> 00:07:32,382
Yesterday?
203
00:07:32,415 --> 00:07:34,326
Yeah. You remember yesterday.
204
00:07:34,326 --> 00:07:36,048
Yeah. You remember yesterday.
205
00:07:36,082 --> 00:07:39,182
Beautiful day,
good day to be...out.
206
00:07:39,215 --> 00:07:40,982
I didn't do anything.
207
00:07:41,015 --> 00:07:43,982
[LAUGHING]
Well, you must've
done something.
208
00:07:45,915 --> 00:07:47,982
Mmm...no, nothing really.
209
00:07:48,015 --> 00:07:50,715
Didn't go out of the house?
210
00:07:50,748 --> 00:07:52,882
Didn't take a walk on...
211
00:07:52,915 --> 00:07:56,215
Columbus Avenue?
212
00:07:56,248 --> 00:07:58,115
Well, I did go out
for a little while.
213
00:07:58,148 --> 00:08:00,915
Well, your day's getting
more interesting already.
214
00:08:03,382 --> 00:08:04,326
Oh. See?
215
00:08:04,326 --> 00:08:04,448
Oh. See?
216
00:08:04,482 --> 00:08:06,148
Told me they'd be
back in a minute,
217
00:08:06,182 --> 00:08:09,315
and they lied.
218
00:08:11,082 --> 00:08:12,548
You can't trust anyone.
219
00:08:12,582 --> 00:08:13,982
No, you can't.
220
00:08:14,015 --> 00:08:16,048
Well, let's cut
the bull, sister!
221
00:08:16,082 --> 00:08:18,182
You think I don't know
about you swappin' spit
222
00:08:18,215 --> 00:08:20,182
with somebody yesterday
on Columbus Avenue?
223
00:08:20,215 --> 00:08:21,648
What are you talking about?
224
00:08:21,682 --> 00:08:23,182
Look, my friend saw you.
225
00:08:23,215 --> 00:08:24,682
Saw me? With who?
226
00:08:24,715 --> 00:08:26,648
You tell me.
227
00:08:27,682 --> 00:08:29,315
There's nothing to tell.
228
00:08:30,648 --> 00:08:31,648
There isn't?
229
00:08:33,015 --> 00:08:34,015
No.
230
00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:37,515
Oh.
231
00:08:37,548 --> 00:08:38,848
All right.
232
00:08:39,682 --> 00:08:40,848
Wanna get some pizza?
233
00:08:44,582 --> 00:08:47,115
I had a feeling this was
too good to be true.
Why?
234
00:08:47,148 --> 00:08:48,848
I knew there had to be
another side to you.
235
00:08:48,882 --> 00:08:50,048
No, no, there's no side.
236
00:08:50,082 --> 00:08:52,515
There is a side, an ugly side.
237
00:08:52,548 --> 00:08:54,882
No, no, no ugly side.
238
00:08:54,915 --> 00:08:56,648
Look, I think
I'm gonna go.
239
00:08:56,682 --> 00:08:57,682
Why?
240
00:08:57,715 --> 00:08:59,115
It's really hot in here.
241
00:08:59,148 --> 00:09:01,782
Uh, so are we gonna still
go out on Friday, though?
242
00:09:01,815 --> 00:09:04,326
Yeah. When are you gettin'
an air conditioner?
243
00:09:04,326 --> 00:09:04,382
Yeah. When are you gettin'
an air conditioner?
244
00:09:04,415 --> 00:09:05,382
I-it's comin'.
245
00:09:05,415 --> 00:09:08,782
It's a Commando 8, 12,000 BTUs.
246
00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:11,148
It's gonna be
like a meat locker in here.
247
00:09:13,715 --> 00:09:15,315
I was an idiot
for listening to you.
248
00:09:15,348 --> 00:09:16,948
Hey, I saw
what I saw.
249
00:09:16,982 --> 00:09:18,715
Oh, everything was
going so well.
250
00:09:18,748 --> 00:09:20,148
She hadn't seen
any flaws in me.
251
00:09:20,182 --> 00:09:21,315
Now she sees a side.
252
00:09:21,348 --> 00:09:22,382
What side?
253
00:09:22,415 --> 00:09:24,015
A bad side, an ugly side.
254
00:09:24,048 --> 00:09:26,015
Oh, so what?
So what?
255
00:09:26,048 --> 00:09:27,715
I wasn't planning
on showing that side
256
00:09:27,748 --> 00:09:29,115
for another six months.
257
00:09:29,148 --> 00:09:32,115
Now you made me throw off
the whole learning curve.
258
00:09:32,148 --> 00:09:33,782
Why don't you
just ask Jeffrey?
259
00:09:33,815 --> 00:09:34,326
Oh, he'd just deny it.
260
00:09:34,326 --> 00:09:35,148
Oh, he'd just deny it.
261
00:09:35,182 --> 00:09:37,448
There must be some way
to find out.
262
00:09:37,482 --> 00:09:39,148
Amy said nothing happened.
263
00:09:39,182 --> 00:09:40,848
You're gonna take
her word over mine?
264
00:09:40,882 --> 00:09:42,015
I'm your best friend!
265
00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:43,482
Yeah, but you're blind as a bat.
266
00:09:44,848 --> 00:09:46,482
I was squinting!
267
00:09:46,515 --> 00:09:48,248
Remember that drive
from Wurtsboro?
268
00:09:49,582 --> 00:09:51,482
I was spottin'
those raccoons.
269
00:09:52,815 --> 00:09:54,515
They were mailboxes,
you idiot.
270
00:09:54,548 --> 00:09:56,515
I didn't have
the heart to tell ya.
271
00:10:01,982 --> 00:10:03,515
Hey, look.
272
00:10:03,548 --> 00:10:04,326
A dime.
273
00:10:04,326 --> 00:10:04,548
A dime.
274
00:10:10,748 --> 00:10:13,015
Huh, Mercury head.
You mind?
275
00:10:13,048 --> 00:10:15,215
No, keep it.
276
00:10:21,848 --> 00:10:23,548
What happened?
You buzzed 5 minutes ago.
277
00:10:23,582 --> 00:10:25,382
There was a dog
in front of the building,
278
00:10:25,415 --> 00:10:26,482
and it spooked me.
279
00:10:26,515 --> 00:10:28,148
I couldn't come in
until he left.
280
00:10:28,182 --> 00:10:29,482
A little white dog?
281
00:10:29,515 --> 00:10:31,015
Yeah.
282
00:10:31,048 --> 00:10:32,415
Snowball?
283
00:10:34,215 --> 00:10:34,326
You're afraid
of Snowball?
284
00:10:34,326 --> 00:10:36,115
You're afraid
of Snowball?
285
00:10:36,148 --> 00:10:38,082
I'm afraid of dogs now.
286
00:10:39,348 --> 00:10:41,748
He's like a squirrel.
287
00:10:43,415 --> 00:10:44,582
Well, he frightened me.
288
00:10:46,248 --> 00:10:47,648
Did you get the shot?
289
00:10:47,682 --> 00:10:49,548
No. He said
I didn't need a shot.
290
00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:51,048
You got bit
by a strange dog,
291
00:10:51,082 --> 00:10:52,448
and you didn't get
a rabies shot?
292
00:10:52,482 --> 00:10:53,615
Why, you think I should've?
293
00:10:53,648 --> 00:10:54,882
Oh-ho!
294
00:10:54,915 --> 00:10:56,548
You should go back
to the optical store
295
00:10:56,582 --> 00:10:58,882
and ask Dwayne if he knows the
name of the owner of the dog.
296
00:10:58,915 --> 00:11:01,715
All right, that's a good idea.
I'm gonna do that.
297
00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:03,315
Ah.
298
00:11:05,015 --> 00:11:06,548
The AC's on its way.
299
00:11:06,582 --> 00:11:07,648
Ahem. Pardon me.
300
00:11:07,682 --> 00:11:09,348
I went to see
your friend Dwayne,
301
00:11:09,382 --> 00:11:10,782
there was no discount.
302
00:11:10,815 --> 00:11:12,648
What?
That's right. No discount.
303
00:11:12,682 --> 00:11:13,982
Well, did you
mention my name?
304
00:11:14,015 --> 00:11:16,048
Yes, I mentioned your name.
And?
305
00:11:16,082 --> 00:11:17,182
Pfft! Bupkis.
306
00:11:19,515 --> 00:11:21,682
I don't believe this.
That guy owes me bigtime.
307
00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:23,348
I got him off sugar!
308
00:11:23,382 --> 00:11:25,815
Look, I'm gonna go down there
with you right now. Come on.
309
00:11:25,848 --> 00:11:26,815
All right. Let me--
310
00:11:26,848 --> 00:11:28,348
I'm gonna grab an apple.
All right.
311
00:11:28,382 --> 00:11:29,515
Hey, Kramer.
Yeah.
312
00:11:29,548 --> 00:11:31,482
[LAUGHING]
Elaine's afraid of Snowball.
313
00:11:31,515 --> 00:11:32,948
Little Snowball?
314
00:11:32,982 --> 00:11:34,326
He runs on batteries.
315
00:11:34,326 --> 00:11:34,748
He runs on batteries.
316
00:11:36,648 --> 00:11:39,348
You know, George,
that's an onion.
317
00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:48,648
Yes, it is.
318
00:11:52,648 --> 00:11:55,548
He couldn't tell
an apple from an onion,
319
00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:57,982
and he's your eyewitness.
320
00:11:58,015 --> 00:12:01,315
I saw them makin' out.
You can believe it.
321
00:12:01,348 --> 00:12:02,815
I don't know
what to believe.
322
00:12:02,848 --> 00:12:04,326
You're eatin' onions,
you're spottin' dimes.
323
00:12:04,326 --> 00:12:04,848
You're eatin' onions,
you're spottin' dimes.
324
00:12:04,882 --> 00:12:06,815
I don't know
what the hell is goin' on.
325
00:12:08,882 --> 00:12:10,515
Look, all you gotta do
326
00:12:10,548 --> 00:12:13,115
is get Amy and Jeffrey
together somewhere. That's it.
327
00:12:13,148 --> 00:12:14,648
Hey, wait a second,
wait a second.
328
00:12:14,682 --> 00:12:16,982
I'm goin' over to Jeffrey's
apartment tomorrow night
329
00:12:17,015 --> 00:12:18,648
to pick up these
Paul Simon tickets.
330
00:12:18,682 --> 00:12:19,848
I'm gonna
surprise Amy.
331
00:12:19,882 --> 00:12:21,848
All I gotta do is
bring her with me.
332
00:12:21,882 --> 00:12:23,548
And then when Jeffrey
opens the door,
333
00:12:23,582 --> 00:12:24,948
it's Howdy Doody time.
334
00:12:24,982 --> 00:12:27,515
Mmm. Right this way, Mr. Doody.
335
00:12:28,882 --> 00:12:30,848
[TEARFULLY]
You'll see. I'm right.
336
00:12:38,510 --> 00:12:39,851
Hey, Dwayney.
337
00:12:39,885 --> 00:12:40,987
Oh, hello,
Kramer.
338
00:12:41,021 --> 00:12:42,654
What is goin' on here?
339
00:12:42,687 --> 00:12:43,987
What are you talking about?
340
00:12:44,021 --> 00:12:46,487
I'm talkin' about
the 30% discount.
341
00:12:46,521 --> 00:12:48,387
Um, excuse me.
A man came in here--
342
00:12:48,421 --> 00:12:49,554
Elaine,
don't interrupt.
343
00:12:49,587 --> 00:12:51,187
They're discounting
something.
344
00:12:51,221 --> 00:12:53,254
Who said anything
about a discount?
345
00:12:53,287 --> 00:12:56,421
Oh, how quickly we forget.
346
00:12:56,454 --> 00:12:58,654
You owe me, buddy.
For what?
347
00:12:58,687 --> 00:13:00,187
Whoop! Remember this?
348
00:13:00,221 --> 00:13:01,521
What are you doing?
349
00:13:01,554 --> 00:13:03,628
Six months ago you were eating
four of those for breakfast
350
00:13:03,628 --> 00:13:04,021
Six months ago you were eating
four of those for breakfast
351
00:13:04,054 --> 00:13:05,654
and chasing it
with a Ring Ding.
352
00:13:05,687 --> 00:13:07,221
And two Butterfingers
on the train!
353
00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:08,321
Sound familiar?!
354
00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:09,754
Put that away.
355
00:13:09,787 --> 00:13:12,021
Remember that night I found you
at Dinky Doughnuts?
356
00:13:12,054 --> 00:13:15,754
You were all hopped up
on cinnamon swirls!
357
00:13:16,954 --> 00:13:19,021
They wouldn't
serve you anymore.
358
00:13:19,054 --> 00:13:20,421
You wouldn't even have
any teeth
359
00:13:20,454 --> 00:13:22,754
if it wasn't for me taking you
over to Joe's fruit stand
360
00:13:22,787 --> 00:13:24,921
and stuffin' cantaloupe
down your throat,
361
00:13:24,954 --> 00:13:26,721
but so much
for gratitude.
362
00:13:26,754 --> 00:13:28,587
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
363
00:13:28,621 --> 00:13:30,054
All right! All right!
All right!
364
00:13:31,954 --> 00:13:33,628
I'll give 'em the discount.
Just put that thing away.
365
00:13:33,628 --> 00:13:34,221
I'll give 'em the discount.
Just put that thing away.
366
00:13:35,254 --> 00:13:36,754
But this squares us.
367
00:13:36,787 --> 00:13:38,587
Could I just have the name--?
368
00:13:38,621 --> 00:13:39,587
Out!
369
00:13:39,621 --> 00:13:41,421
We'll see you,
Dwayne.
370
00:13:46,287 --> 00:13:48,621
I don't know
what to tell you, Elton.
371
00:13:50,521 --> 00:13:52,187
Uh-oh. Listen to this.
This is not good.
372
00:13:52,221 --> 00:13:54,721
Listen to these symptoms
for rabies:
373
00:13:54,754 --> 00:13:57,321
anxiety, irritability.
374
00:13:57,354 --> 00:13:59,054
I've got those. I'm irritable.
375
00:14:00,587 --> 00:14:01,921
Who picked these out?
376
00:14:01,954 --> 00:14:03,628
I did.
They're ladies' glasses.
377
00:14:03,628 --> 00:14:03,987
I did.
They're ladies' glasses.
378
00:14:04,021 --> 00:14:06,387
I mean, all you need is that
little chain around your neck,
379
00:14:06,421 --> 00:14:08,587
so you can wear 'em
while you're playing canasta.
380
00:14:11,521 --> 00:14:13,687
Well, Elaine was
supposed to help me.
381
00:14:13,721 --> 00:14:16,021
Hey, I got bit by a dog!
382
00:14:16,054 --> 00:14:17,387
I had to go to the hospital!
383
00:14:17,421 --> 00:14:18,754
I was bleeding to death!
384
00:14:18,787 --> 00:14:21,221
I can't solve every
little problem you have!
385
00:14:21,254 --> 00:14:22,721
Hey, hey.
386
00:14:24,787 --> 00:14:25,921
Oh.
387
00:14:25,954 --> 00:14:28,421
I'm sorry. Sorry.
388
00:14:30,087 --> 00:14:32,654
Commando 8 has arrived!
389
00:14:32,687 --> 00:14:33,628
I'll get the window.
390
00:14:33,628 --> 00:14:33,821
I'll get the window.
391
00:14:33,854 --> 00:14:37,187
12,000 BTUs of
raw cooling power, huh?
392
00:14:37,221 --> 00:14:38,754
Ha, ha!
393
00:14:39,787 --> 00:14:40,787
Yeah.
394
00:14:42,554 --> 00:14:44,054
Installed.
395
00:14:50,454 --> 00:14:51,521
That--?
That's it?
396
00:14:51,554 --> 00:14:53,321
You don't have to
screw it in or anything?
397
00:14:53,354 --> 00:14:56,387
No. Just plug it in, and
the Commando 8 does the rest.
398
00:14:56,421 --> 00:14:57,854
I'll seal it up later,
all right?
399
00:14:57,887 --> 00:14:59,254
Yeah. Just in time
for Amy.
400
00:14:59,287 --> 00:15:01,487
Oh, yeah, when are you
gonna execute that plan?
401
00:15:01,521 --> 00:15:03,628
Oh, God.
I've got such a headache.
402
00:15:03,628 --> 00:15:04,021
Oh, God.
I've got such a headache.
403
00:15:04,054 --> 00:15:06,887
Aw! That's another symptom.
404
00:15:06,921 --> 00:15:07,987
Of what?
405
00:15:08,021 --> 00:15:09,187
Rabies.
406
00:15:09,221 --> 00:15:11,021
Oh, that's fatal.
You don't want that.
407
00:15:11,054 --> 00:15:13,387
I know I don't want it!
408
00:15:13,421 --> 00:15:15,254
I don't need you to tell me
what I don't want,
409
00:15:15,287 --> 00:15:17,554
you stupid hipster doofus!
410
00:15:17,587 --> 00:15:19,487
Hey, hey.
411
00:15:19,521 --> 00:15:22,221
What is this?
What's goin' on here?
412
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:24,321
I'm sorry, Kramer.
I'm sorry.
413
00:15:24,354 --> 00:15:25,821
No, it's all right.
I'm sorry.
414
00:15:25,854 --> 00:15:27,554
I had a friend
who had rabies once.
415
00:15:29,087 --> 00:15:31,387
May I have
one of those, madam?
416
00:15:39,554 --> 00:15:41,754
Madam? What are you
callin' me madam for?
417
00:15:41,787 --> 00:15:43,487
They're
ladies' glasses.
418
00:15:43,521 --> 00:15:46,187
No, look. Here.
See, it's right here.
419
00:15:46,221 --> 00:15:48,521
[CHUCKLES]
"Gloria Vanderbilt collection."
420
00:15:50,454 --> 00:15:52,887
He sold me
ladies' glasses!
421
00:15:52,921 --> 00:15:54,854
I...
422
00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:55,921
I think I'm...
423
00:15:55,954 --> 00:15:57,954
I'm having
trouble swallowing.
424
00:16:01,287 --> 00:16:03,021
I-- I can't swallow.
425
00:16:03,054 --> 00:16:03,628
She's got rabies, just like
my friend Bob Sacamano.
426
00:16:03,628 --> 00:16:06,554
She's got rabies, just like
my friend Bob Sacamano.
427
00:16:06,587 --> 00:16:09,221
Look at that,
she's delirious.
428
00:16:09,254 --> 00:16:11,354
She's foaming
at the mouth!
429
00:16:15,787 --> 00:16:17,721
Is this gonna hurt?
430
00:16:17,754 --> 00:16:19,454
Yes, very much.
431
00:16:24,621 --> 00:16:25,754
What if Jeffrey's
not home?
432
00:16:25,787 --> 00:16:26,921
Did you ever
think of that?
433
00:16:26,954 --> 00:16:28,421
He'll be home.
It's Friday night.
434
00:16:28,454 --> 00:16:29,887
Big night on
the Nature Channel.
435
00:16:29,921 --> 00:16:31,254
Let me tell
you something.
436
00:16:31,287 --> 00:16:33,628
There is no way
Cousin Jeffrey is dating Amy.
437
00:16:33,628 --> 00:16:33,654
There is no way
Cousin Jeffrey is dating Amy.
438
00:16:33,687 --> 00:16:34,921
He looks like a horse.
439
00:16:34,954 --> 00:16:36,021
He does look
like a horse.
440
00:16:36,054 --> 00:16:39,487
Yeah, he's got
a real horse face.
441
00:16:39,521 --> 00:16:41,187
[GASPS]
442
00:16:41,221 --> 00:16:42,254
Hey, look at this.
443
00:16:42,287 --> 00:16:44,821
It's the guy
with the dog!
444
00:16:44,854 --> 00:16:47,387
Hey! Hey,
you down there!
445
00:16:47,421 --> 00:16:48,554
Remember me?
446
00:16:48,587 --> 00:16:51,754
I had to get shots
because of your stupid dog!
447
00:16:51,787 --> 00:16:53,821
MAN:
Hey, who you
callin' stupid?!
448
00:16:53,854 --> 00:16:55,054
Hey, should we spit on him?
449
00:16:55,087 --> 00:16:56,687
No, no, no. Come on.
Let's go get him.
450
00:16:58,221 --> 00:17:00,287
♪ Oh, my papaya ♪
451
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:02,721
The air conditioner!
452
00:17:10,254 --> 00:17:11,321
[HORNS HONKING]
453
00:17:11,354 --> 00:17:12,887
[DOG BARKING]
454
00:17:12,921 --> 00:17:14,487
[CRASH]
[DOG YELPS]
455
00:17:14,521 --> 00:17:16,087
I think it got the dog!
456
00:17:21,454 --> 00:17:23,354
Ahhh.
457
00:17:23,387 --> 00:17:25,021
Ah, boy.
458
00:17:25,887 --> 00:17:27,021
Excuse me.
459
00:17:27,054 --> 00:17:28,654
Uh, I'm new here.
460
00:17:28,687 --> 00:17:31,421
Uh, would you mind walking
me back to my locker?
461
00:17:31,454 --> 00:17:33,628
Oh, uh, sure.
Why not?
462
00:17:33,628 --> 00:17:34,354
Oh, uh, sure.
Why not?
463
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:37,654
Uh, there you go.
464
00:17:37,687 --> 00:17:39,321
Hey, that's the guy.
465
00:17:39,354 --> 00:17:40,354
What guy?
466
00:17:40,387 --> 00:17:41,854
The guy that stole
my glasses.
467
00:17:41,887 --> 00:17:43,554
This time I got him!
468
00:17:45,721 --> 00:17:46,921
Could you pick it up
a little?
469
00:17:46,954 --> 00:17:48,154
Where the hell
are we going?
470
00:17:48,187 --> 00:17:49,587
Ah, phooey.
He's getting on a bus.
471
00:17:49,621 --> 00:17:50,754
Damn.
472
00:17:52,287 --> 00:17:53,687
Those are nice glasses.
473
00:17:53,721 --> 00:17:56,387
I don't like 'em.
They pinch my nose.
474
00:17:57,721 --> 00:17:59,287
Is that right?
475
00:18:01,754 --> 00:18:03,628
Dwayne, my friend and I
would like to exchange frames.
476
00:18:03,628 --> 00:18:04,387
Dwayne, my friend and I
would like to exchange frames.
477
00:18:04,421 --> 00:18:06,054
Could you put his lenses
in my frames
478
00:18:06,087 --> 00:18:07,054
and mine in his?
479
00:18:07,087 --> 00:18:08,387
Yeah, we can do that.
480
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:10,321
[WHISPERS]
Excuse me.
481
00:18:10,354 --> 00:18:12,887
And I'd like
a discount.
482
00:18:12,921 --> 00:18:14,987
Why should I
give you a discount?
483
00:18:15,021 --> 00:18:17,421
Listen, you're lucky I'm not
askin' for a whole refund.
484
00:18:17,454 --> 00:18:19,354
[WHISPERS]
You gave me ladies' frames.
485
00:18:19,387 --> 00:18:21,221
What's that
about ladies' frames?
486
00:18:22,854 --> 00:18:25,354
Say, I'm trying
to track down
487
00:18:25,387 --> 00:18:27,154
that lady that was
in here the other day.
488
00:18:27,187 --> 00:18:28,721
The one that was
messing with my dog.
489
00:18:28,754 --> 00:18:30,087
She's trying
to track you down.
490
00:18:30,121 --> 00:18:31,721
Well, I would love
to talk with her.
491
00:18:31,754 --> 00:18:32,854
Heh, heh.
492
00:18:32,887 --> 00:18:33,628
She lives on
81st street?
493
00:18:33,628 --> 00:18:33,987
She lives on
81st street?
494
00:18:34,021 --> 00:18:35,387
No, that's Jerry.
495
00:18:35,421 --> 00:18:36,854
Really?
496
00:18:36,887 --> 00:18:39,254
You wouldn't happen to know
what apartment he's in?
497
00:18:39,287 --> 00:18:40,687
Yeah. 5A.
498
00:18:41,854 --> 00:18:42,921
Thanks a lot.
499
00:18:45,021 --> 00:18:46,687
So, what are we
doing here?
500
00:18:46,721 --> 00:18:48,154
Oh, you'll
find out.
501
00:18:48,187 --> 00:18:50,421
I don't know.
You're acting very mysteriously.
502
00:18:50,454 --> 00:18:52,621
Well, I'm very mysterious
by nature.
503
00:18:54,121 --> 00:18:55,821
A lot of women find
that attractive.
504
00:18:55,854 --> 00:18:57,421
I find it annoying.
505
00:18:57,454 --> 00:18:59,221
Oh.
506
00:19:01,687 --> 00:19:03,287
Hello.
507
00:19:04,454 --> 00:19:05,854
Uncle Leo.
508
00:19:05,887 --> 00:19:07,754
Come on in.
509
00:19:07,787 --> 00:19:09,087
Uh, this is Amy.
510
00:19:09,121 --> 00:19:10,421
Hello, Amy.
511
00:19:10,454 --> 00:19:11,987
Uncle Leo,
what're you doing here?
512
00:19:12,021 --> 00:19:13,387
Jeffrey went out
tonight.
513
00:19:13,421 --> 00:19:15,521
Oh,
very convenient.
514
00:19:15,554 --> 00:19:17,921
I'm supposed to tape
this nature show for him.
515
00:19:17,954 --> 00:19:19,587
He loves
nature.
516
00:19:19,621 --> 00:19:21,521
Botany, zoology.
517
00:19:21,554 --> 00:19:23,687
You know, his botany teacher
from college
518
00:19:23,721 --> 00:19:25,254
stays in close touch
with him.
519
00:19:25,287 --> 00:19:26,854
They became friends.
520
00:19:26,887 --> 00:19:28,054
Really?
521
00:19:28,087 --> 00:19:29,754
That's
pretty rare.
522
00:19:29,787 --> 00:19:32,887
I mean actual friends,
like equals.
523
00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:33,628
They have dinner together,
they have discussions, they--
524
00:19:33,628 --> 00:19:35,687
They have dinner together,
they have discussions, they--
525
00:19:35,721 --> 00:19:37,221
Uncle Leo,
526
00:19:37,254 --> 00:19:39,387
did he leave
any tickets here for me?
527
00:19:39,421 --> 00:19:41,021
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I'll get 'em.
528
00:19:41,054 --> 00:19:42,487
Thank you.
529
00:19:42,521 --> 00:19:43,921
What tickets?
530
00:19:43,954 --> 00:19:46,587
To the Paul Simon
"Concert in the Park."
531
00:19:46,621 --> 00:19:48,554
We're going to
the Paul Simon concert?
532
00:19:48,587 --> 00:19:49,754
That's right, lady.
533
00:19:49,787 --> 00:19:51,387
Ha-ha!
What a great surprise.
534
00:19:51,421 --> 00:19:52,887
I thought
you'd like that.
535
00:19:52,921 --> 00:19:56,154
Oh, so that's why you've been
acting so mysteriously.
536
00:19:56,187 --> 00:19:57,221
Now you know.
537
00:19:57,254 --> 00:19:59,887
That, and that alone,
is the reason.
538
00:20:01,554 --> 00:20:03,628
You know Jeffrey's
favorite animal?
539
00:20:03,628 --> 00:20:03,887
You know Jeffrey's
favorite animal?
540
00:20:03,921 --> 00:20:06,554
The leopard.
541
00:20:06,587 --> 00:20:07,721
Why is that?
542
00:20:07,754 --> 00:20:11,187
He likes the spots.
543
00:20:11,221 --> 00:20:13,021
Oh, uh, here's--
Here's the tickets.
544
00:20:13,054 --> 00:20:14,821
Thank you.
545
00:20:14,854 --> 00:20:17,187
Oh, uh, he asked me
to give you a message.
546
00:20:17,221 --> 00:20:20,021
He said that, uh,
he's very sorry,
547
00:20:20,054 --> 00:20:22,521
and, uh, he hopes
you'll forgive him.
548
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:25,854
Ah-ha! So it's true.
549
00:20:25,887 --> 00:20:27,654
You were makin' out
with him.
550
00:20:27,687 --> 00:20:30,054
What are you talking about?
I don't know Jeffrey.
551
00:20:30,087 --> 00:20:32,521
Oh, so this is why
you brought me up here.
552
00:20:32,554 --> 00:20:33,628
Very convincing,
553
00:20:33,628 --> 00:20:34,054
Very convincing,
554
00:20:34,087 --> 00:20:35,687
but it's not gonna
work this time.
555
00:20:35,721 --> 00:20:37,521
What are you
talking about?
556
00:20:37,554 --> 00:20:39,221
All he meant was
that he was sorry
557
00:20:39,254 --> 00:20:41,587
that the seats
aren't very good.
558
00:20:44,054 --> 00:20:46,721
Oh.
559
00:20:46,754 --> 00:20:49,521
Oh.
560
00:20:49,554 --> 00:20:51,221
Wanna get
some pizza?
561
00:20:59,721 --> 00:21:01,887
Boy, these really do
pinch the nose.
562
00:21:01,921 --> 00:21:03,628
Tough luck.
A deal's a deal.
563
00:21:03,628 --> 00:21:05,487
Tough luck.
A deal's a deal.
564
00:21:05,521 --> 00:21:07,021
Oh, my God. It is them.
565
00:21:15,221 --> 00:21:17,687
[WHINNIES]
566
00:21:28,921 --> 00:21:30,987
I still don't know how
you spotted that dime.
567
00:21:31,021 --> 00:21:32,021
I think you planted it.
568
00:21:33,587 --> 00:21:33,628
Plus I got to pay that vet bill
for the stupid dog.
569
00:21:33,628 --> 00:21:35,687
Plus I got to pay that vet bill
for the stupid dog.
570
00:21:35,721 --> 00:21:37,621
I don't know how
that guy got my name.
571
00:21:39,254 --> 00:21:41,154
Yeah. Heh.
572
00:21:41,187 --> 00:21:42,387
All right.
573
00:21:42,421 --> 00:21:45,087
Boy, these really
do pinch.
574
00:21:45,121 --> 00:21:47,254
I tell you, if I ever find
the son of a bitch
575
00:21:47,287 --> 00:21:49,121
that stole my glasses...
576
00:22:00,587 --> 00:22:02,254
But I want to know,
when did glasses
577
00:22:02,287 --> 00:22:04,854
go from being this carefully
crafted medical apparatus
578
00:22:04,887 --> 00:22:06,687
to just this mall impulse item?
579
00:22:06,721 --> 00:22:08,321
"Honey, I'm going out
for a yogurt
580
00:22:08,354 --> 00:22:10,354
and a pair of trifocals.
You need anything?"
581
00:22:10,387 --> 00:22:12,521
It's always glasses
in about an hour.
582
00:22:12,554 --> 00:22:13,721
"Well, how much are they?"
583
00:22:13,754 --> 00:22:14,987
"75 bucks."
584
00:22:15,021 --> 00:22:16,754
"Well, here's 72.
It's about 75, okay?"
585
00:22:16,787 --> 00:22:18,387
What, you tryin'
to coordinate it
586
00:22:18,421 --> 00:22:20,421
with the one-hour photo place,
is that the idea?
587
00:22:20,454 --> 00:22:21,921
"Hurry up. Gimme the glasses.
588
00:22:21,954 --> 00:22:25,521
My pictures are coming out
right now. I need to see 'em."
589
00:22:25,554 --> 00:22:27,321
Then they have
those Woolworth glasses,
590
00:22:27,354 --> 00:22:28,521
you know, that are like,
591
00:22:28,554 --> 00:22:29,318
they're there.
They're there now.
592
00:22:29,318 --> 00:22:30,721
they're there.
They're there now.
593
00:22:30,754 --> 00:22:33,321
No eye exam, you don't have any
idea what's wrong with the eyes,
594
00:22:33,354 --> 00:22:34,554
and the glasses are made up.
595
00:22:34,587 --> 00:22:36,687
They are ready and waiting
for you to just walk in,
596
00:22:36,721 --> 00:22:39,121
"Thank you. Bye." And just walk
right into a wall. Bang.
40664
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