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1
00:00:01,840 --> 00:00:03,000
[clears throat]
2
00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:04,280
[woman]
Can we get a snatch of a song,
3
00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:06,040
just to see if
you can hold a note?
4
00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:08,640
I, I know it seems daft
to ask you, but you know?
5
00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:10,120
No, it's, um, it's fine.
6
00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:12,680
It was all auto-tuned back then,
7
00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:14,840
so just really, really,
8
00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:16,800
lower your expectations...
9
00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:18,680
[all laugh]
10
00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:20,000
OK.
11
00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:25,240
♪ A long, long time ago
12
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:27,920
♪ I can still remember
13
00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:30,880
♪ How that music
used to make me ♪
14
00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:32,360
Shall I get up?
15
00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:37,040
Erm, ta da da erm...
[humming]
16
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,320
Sorry, um...
17
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,120
[humming]
18
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:50,120
♪ February made me shiver
19
00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:53,320
♪ With every paper
I'd deliver ♪
20
00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:57,160
♪ Bad news on the doorstep
21
00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,880
♪ I couldn't take
one more step ♪
22
00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:01,640
That's fine.
23
00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:02,880
♪ I can't...
24
00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:03,920
-OK...
-Oh!
25
00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:04,920
-Thanks!
-Really?
26
00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:05,840
[man] Yes!
27
00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:07,120
[woman] It's lovely!
28
00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:08,360
OK! Thank you.
29
00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,240
Suzie, thank you so much
for coming today.
30
00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:11,560
God, are we done?
31
00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:12,960
-OK, thank you so much.
-Thank you.
32
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:13,960
Thank you.
33
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,080
Oh, it's so lovely to see you.
34
00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:16,400
-Nice to see you!
-Thank you.
35
00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:18,160
-Say good-bye.
-Bye bye, Frank!
36
00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:19,880
How do you say good-bye?
37
00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:21,080
Just as you would normally.
38
00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:22,120
Oh!
39
00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:23,120
-Bye Frank!
-Bye!
40
00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:24,520
Bye bye!
Bye, Frank!
41
00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:25,400
Bye bye!
42
00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:26,640
-Thank you.
-Bye!
43
00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:27,720
-OK, bye.
-Bye!
44
00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:36,280
Really?
45
00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:37,760
Really?!
46
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:39,000
You were very good.
47
00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:40,200
You were very good.
48
00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:41,880
You're Mummy's secret weapon.
49
00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:42,960
Do you know that?
50
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,640
You bring Mummy luck!
51
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,320
You bring Mummy such luck.
52
00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:04,000
[Suzie] Look...
53
00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:05,600
Swimming pool.
54
00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:10,320
Yeah.
55
00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:12,800
Yeah, but where you are now...
56
00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:13,800
at school,
57
00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:15,400
you have lots of friends,
58
00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:16,200
don't you?
59
00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:17,840
You're special there.
60
00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:20,160
So would you rather be special?
61
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:23,240
Or fit in?
62
00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:26,760
Yeah!
63
00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:28,200
I hear you.
64
00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:32,320
[iPad rings]
65
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,000
Oh look, it's dad!
66
00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:38,160
Hey!
67
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:39,360
[Cob]
Hey!
68
00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:40,480
How's the study trip?
69
00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:41,960
I thought you were asleep.
70
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,160
Are you still awake?
71
00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:44,800
Are you still in Paris?
72
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:47,360
I thought you'd
be on the train by now?
73
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,560
Yeah, we actually, we actually
missed the last train!
74
00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:52,080
We missed the Eurostar
so the students are looking
at somewhere to stay.
75
00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:53,160
Valerie's on it.
76
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:54,160
[Valerie]
I'm on it!
77
00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:55,400
She's on it.
78
00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:57,000
Right.
79
00:02:58,160 --> 00:02:59,640
So what about tomorrow?
80
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,080
I mean, don't... you,
you don't have to come if you--
81
00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:03,760
It's fine.
82
00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:05,360
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah!
No, I'll come straight there.
83
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,000
I'll get the first train
and I'll um,
84
00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:08,240
I'll come straight there.
85
00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:09,400
Fuck, shit!
86
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,240
-[women laugh and cheer]
-My god,
87
00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:13,240
I nearly just walked into one
of those French, piss things.
88
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,480
-What are these called?
-[Valerie] I don't know!
89
00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:15,960
[Cob] Pisseur!
Viva la pisseur!
90
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:16,920
[Valerie] Viva la pisseur!
91
00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:18,400
-[call ends]
-Oh!
92
00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:23,000
Crazy!
93
00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:28,200
[theme music playing]
94
00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:31,600
[glass shatters]
95
00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:36,960
Uh, these hierarchies
are all fucked up,
96
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,600
Mr. Sitting in the Front.
97
00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:41,760
I can feel the hair on my back
stand up as we cross the border.
98
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,120
Your back?
99
00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:44,680
Yeah, I'm covered in hair,
you know that.
100
00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:46,800
Why are you so relaxed?
101
00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:48,320
Is Cob not coming?
102
00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:49,720
Oh, my God,
is that why I'm here?
103
00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:51,080
[Suzie] No, he was.
104
00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:52,560
He's stuck in Paris
with his students.
105
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,520
I sort of hope he doesn't.
For his sake.
106
00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:56,080
[Naomi] Have your family
seen the photos?
107
00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:57,560
Poor Cob.
108
00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:58,400
Poor Cob.
109
00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:00,000
My family don't mind a slag.
110
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,000
But you don't wanna be married
to one, do you know what I mean?
111
00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:04,600
-God, I hate going home.
-Oh, Jesus Christ.
112
00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:05,920
Embrace yourself!
113
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:07,240
Nah, that is why I'm, like,
114
00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:08,960
totally sold on having
a kid on my own.
115
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,160
Like, burn this trad shit down.
116
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,160
Well, there'll be
lots of free spunk at this.
117
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:15,200
My dad's side are
irresponsibly fertile.
118
00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:17,160
-[retches]
-[laughs]
119
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,640
[Naomi] God, how's your mum
going to cope with
your dad being there?
120
00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:21,240
[Suzie groans]
121
00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:24,240
Oh, did you hear
back from the musical?
122
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:25,840
[Naomi] No.
123
00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:27,200
-No?
-Mmm-mm.
124
00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:32,280
[Naomi] Oh, Jesus!
125
00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:33,480
[Suzie] All right!
126
00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:34,600
Here we are.
127
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:40,560
Come on then, darlin'.
128
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:41,720
Let's go.
129
00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:47,960
[Karen] Oh, God!
130
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,720
All these bloody people!
131
00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:50,760
Yeah, it's a wedding, Mum.
132
00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:52,000
[Naomi] Hey, Mrs P!
133
00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:53,120
[Karen] Ah, hello love.
134
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,600
Hey, I've been
praying for you!
135
00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:57,280
Come 'ere, come 'ere!
136
00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:01,760
Hey, haven't you got him
one of them cochlear things yet?
137
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,280
He doesn't want one.
138
00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:05,160
[Karen] Well, he's seven,
how does he fucking know?
139
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:06,760
Have you not seen the videos?
They're heart breaking.
140
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:08,400
[Suzie] It's doesn't work
like that for everyone,
141
00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:09,720
he's not a good candidate.
142
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:10,800
No, no, no.
143
00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:12,360
They even do it with dogs now,
144
00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:14,120
and there's one hearing
his owner for the first time
145
00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,040
-and his little tail!
-Oh, is it!
146
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:17,560
Oh, it's marvelous.
147
00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:19,360
-Yeah, come in, sweetheart.
-Yeah, it sounds it.
148
00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:20,800
-Oh, you're looking lovely,
Naomi...
-So do you!
149
00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:22,760
[Phil]
Here she comes... first born.
150
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,240
[Suzie] Hello, Jon.
151
00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:27,840
Oh, I didn't recognize
you without a penis nearby!
152
00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:28,840
-Yeah.
-[Phil] Wha-- Hey!
153
00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:29,960
[Karen] Jon, don't start!
154
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,320
[Phil]
There is a penis nearby!
155
00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:32,720
[Lila] It's you, Jon.
156
00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:33,760
[all laugh]
157
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,240
Has he gone outside?
158
00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:36,680
[Jon] Uh, get me the um...
pass me the thing.
159
00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:37,960
What are you after now?
160
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,240
[Suzie]
Is this what we're using?
161
00:05:39,280 --> 00:05:41,440
Excuse me, I'll get
you a drink in a minute.
162
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:43,600
[Naomi] Nice spread.
163
00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:44,800
Well done, Karen.
164
00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:47,160
-Na-naaaaa!
-[screams]
165
00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:49,640
-What the--
-Now I recognize you!
166
00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:51,000
Yeah. Yeah.
167
00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:52,200
Bit light for you though,
Suzie girl!
168
00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:53,520
[Suzie] Was that worth it?
169
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:55,000
[woman] Surprise!
170
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:56,360
Bloody hell!
171
00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:57,720
[Karen] Come and get
some food, people!
172
00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:00,280
Dad, can I have a fag
while he's out?
173
00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:02,760
Has he left you then,
out of embarrassment?
174
00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:03,920
[Naomi] Oh, Jesus!
175
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:05,160
Don't worry,
it's all right!
176
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:06,640
-Here you go.
-Oh, thank you!
177
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:08,400
[Jon] Made my eyes water
and I only saw the blurry ones!
178
00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:10,120
[Shane]
♪ Golf ball
through your nose... ♪
179
00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:11,400
Oh, all right, Shane?
180
00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:12,480
[Shane] Yeah.
You all right, Suze?
181
00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:13,800
Mum, where shall we get changed?
182
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:14,800
Shall we just go upstairs?
183
00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:16,000
What's that?
184
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:17,160
I, I can't hear,
what did you say?
185
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,560
I said where are we changing?
186
00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,040
Nah, Suze,
187
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,560
you sound like you've got
something in your mouth.
188
00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:23,520
Ooh! Ooh!
189
00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:25,120
-[laughs]
-[Karen] Phil!
190
00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:26,880
Don't do that when Cob is here.
191
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,000
Don't "Phil" me
in my own house.
192
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:30,760
It's literally not your house.
193
00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:34,080
Well, you can't go upstairs,
can you, sweetheart,
194
00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:35,320
'cause, um...
195
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:36,960
'Cause your sister's up there,
ain't she?
196
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,760
[Lila] It's not her, it's him.
He can't go upstairs.
197
00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:40,560
-[Naomi] Starting early.
-[Danielle] All right, Suze?
198
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:41,960
Oh, hi!
199
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,520
I can't think straight!
200
00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:44,960
What are you all doing
sat in the kitchen?
201
00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:46,800
Go on, sod off all of you.
202
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,600
[Phil] Harpy!
203
00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:52,640
[Danielle] Ere,
you know what I wanna know!
204
00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:55,480
How many famous people you met?
205
00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:58,960
Well, I work with famous
people every day
so literally all the time.
206
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,080
No, not you, Suze.
207
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:02,800
How many famous people you met?
Name them.
208
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:03,760
Oh, I've met loads.
209
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:05,680
I've met Louis Theroux?
210
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:07,040
-I've met--
-Who-- Who, who?
211
00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:08,400
Louis Theroux,
you know who that is?
212
00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:09,200
No.
213
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:10,320
Oh, my God.
214
00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:11,680
[Danielle] Next.
Who else?
215
00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:13,200
What? Well, I've met loads.
216
00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:14,880
Like, what, do you want me
just list famous people?
217
00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:16,040
-[Danielle] Yes.
-What's going on
218
00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:17,360
with all this naked stuff?
219
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:19,440
-I mean, I know...
-Straight in.
220
00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,440
[Lila] I'd feel terrible,
I would feel awful.
I would feel so awful.
221
00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:22,680
Did you sell it or something?
222
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:23,880
What? No!
223
00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:25,600
No, it's an awful angle,
for anyone.
224
00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:27,160
I'd of deleted it.Why didn't you just
delete it straight away?
225
00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:28,560
I did delete it!
226
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:30,320
They steal recently deleted
stuff too now.
227
00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:31,440
-[Danielle] Fuck off.
-Do they?
-Be careful.
228
00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:32,560
Oh, I'm gonna be
really rude now.
229
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,080
Do you know when
you go on top,
230
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,520
you know when
you go on top, right?
231
00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:36,840
You know what
I'm talking about, right...
232
00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:38,240
when you lean,
233
00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:39,920
-when you lean over...
-Oh, don't.
234
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,280
...you wanna get a mirror
and check what they are seeing.
235
00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:44,120
-I've got udders.
-[laughing]
236
00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:46,360
[Lila] And I go body pump
twice a week,
d'you know what I mean?!
237
00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:49,360
-Where's your boyfriend, Naomi?
-[Karen] Oh no, no, no...
238
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:50,560
[Naomi] Where's my boyfriend?
239
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:51,760
[Karen] Do you remember,
she's not um...
240
00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:52,720
-She's...?
-[Naomi] No, no.
241
00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:53,960
Well, I'm actually 50-50.
242
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,040
She's into women.
243
00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:57,080
Oh, mate, I would...
244
00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:58,520
-at a fanny.
-[all laugh]
245
00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:00,120
[Lila] Don't you wax
them every day at work?
246
00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:01,680
Yes, I get paid to do that!
247
00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:03,120
I'm not nose deep in it, am I?
248
00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:04,400
Well, 60-40.
249
00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:06,200
Sixty-forty men now,
talking to you.
250
00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:07,600
[Danielle]
One time during a massage,
251
00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:08,880
I was so hungover,
252
00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:10,640
I vommed all over
her lower back.
253
00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:12,880
-Seventy-thirty.
-[Danielle] That's my limit.
254
00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:15,560
That area is a no-go, mate.
255
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:17,160
-Strictly dickly me.
-[all laughing]
256
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:18,400
[Naomi] All right, Danielle.
257
00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:19,800
I wouldn't do you either
so chill out.
258
00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:20,800
[Danielle] Oh, charming!
259
00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:22,040
[Karen] Shane! Shane!
260
00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:23,400
Shane's cousin's here,
isn't she?
261
00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:24,680
Oh, yes!
262
00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:26,800
She plays netball for Kent!
She's gay. She's gay.
263
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,600
Actually Naomi's inthe market for a bit of spunk,
if there's any going...
264
00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:33,760
Didn't-- Didn't Cob
wanna have more kids
265
00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:35,120
and then you didn't?
266
00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:37,360
Oh, my God.
That's not true, is it?
267
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,040
-Ooh! Mum... No.
-[Naomi] It is true.
268
00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:40,880
[Lila] Well, there's the
solution, you can
have her old fella!
269
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:42,240
Yeah, yeah,
knock yourself out.
270
00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:43,560
I think even
I might have a line.
271
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:45,000
-[Suzie] Fill your boots.
-[Naomi] Yeah.
272
00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:46,760
Mum's strictly dickly,
right, Mum?
273
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:48,120
[Danielle] Are ya?
274
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:49,720
So here's to that,
the strictly dickly crew!
275
00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:52,800
-All right.
-All right.
276
00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:55,080
Oh babe.
277
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:57,000
Mwah. Mwah. Mwah.
278
00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:58,200
All right, Grinny?
279
00:08:58,240 --> 00:08:59,760
Oh this is mad, isn't it?
280
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,240
Look at you... look at you,
281
00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:02,920
so crazy 'cause you're
eight still, aren't you?
282
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:04,080
How are you?
What the fuck?
283
00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:05,400
Don't. How am I?
284
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:08,120
How are you?
You've got a lot of make-up on.
285
00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,040
No, this is normal.
286
00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:12,560
Well, I've brought the um...
Magic Showbiz box.
287
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:15,720
So have you got any words
of wisdom for your sister?
288
00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:17,200
You've done it enough times.
289
00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:19,400
Well, it's a sign
I'm not very good at it, Grin.
290
00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:21,040
[under her breath]
Can't say that...
291
00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:23,640
I bet this dress
makes you want to be sick.
292
00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:24,960
No.
293
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,600
[Karen] Your father's
doing my bloody head in.
294
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:28,320
It's good.
It's looking quite
creased on there...
295
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,920
Ah, you look like a model!
Look at you.
296
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,720
She's gorgeous, ain't she?
297
00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:35,000
This is actually really good.
298
00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:36,360
[Karen] Give us a fag.
299
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:37,720
[Grinny] Oh, blimey,
what are you doing?
300
00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:39,400
Mum, what are you doing?
You sat on the dress.
301
00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:40,840
All right.
Bloody hell.
Keep your hair on.
302
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:42,320
You're just gonna
crease it all!
303
00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:43,680
You're just smoking next to it,
it'll go up.
304
00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:44,960
[Karen]
It's creased anyway. Jesus!
305
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,360
[Grinny] What are you like?
306
00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:47,880
-[Naomi] Hey, Ferd.
-[Ferd] All right?
307
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,320
[Naomi] All right, Shane?
308
00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:50,600
Budge up.
309
00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:56,720
[Jon]Thing is that center forward,
I've seen milk turn faster...
310
00:09:58,120 --> 00:09:59,640
size of his arse.
311
00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:01,160
[Phil] Size of your arse.
312
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:04,720
[Jon] He ain't fit.
Look, look.
313
00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:06,680
[Grinny] Karen says
you've done a porno?
314
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,480
No, I didn't.
315
00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:09,720
I... I, I didn't.
316
00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:10,960
[Archie] Who's the bloke in it?
317
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,040
I bet you shat yourself.
318
00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:13,320
[Suzie] No, it doesn't matter.
319
00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:14,600
[Grinny]
It's all them Kardashians.
320
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:16,200
[Karen]
I'm just worried about you.
321
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,400
A married woman doesn't
need to do all that stuff.
322
00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:20,040
-[doorbell rings]
-[Archie] Look, honestly,
323
00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:22,200
when I think about
what's on my phone. Ugh.
324
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:23,800
[door knocks]
325
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:24,960
[Danielle] Suze?
326
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,600
Your husband's here!
327
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,000
OK. Off.
328
00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:32,560
[Cob]
Bonjour!
329
00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:34,560
I hear a television.
It must be a wedding day!
330
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:36,160
[football plays over TV]
331
00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,400
Oh, here he is,
sound of the devil.
332
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,160
OK, Shane, congrats.
333
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:46,880
I see you're enjoying your last
free moments there, quite right!
334
00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:48,680
Take a pew.
Liverpool scored.
335
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:50,680
Utterly convinced,aren't you,
if you keep telling me things,
336
00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:52,160
eventually I'm gonna care.
337
00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:53,560
Hello, Phil.
338
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:57,240
Not even a joke about my wife
in those photos?
339
00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:59,240
No? I thought that'd
be right up your street.
340
00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:00,920
Feel free to shout cuckold.
341
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:01,960
That's my daughter.
342
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,360
Well, indeed. Yes, it is.
343
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:04,760
Yeah!
344
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:06,680
Not gonna allude to me
being unable to satisfy her?
345
00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:08,360
I expected a bit more
badinage mate.
346
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:09,680
What's a cuckold again?
347
00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:11,160
[Jon] You'll find out.
348
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:14,400
It's a porn thing.
When a black guy does it.
349
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:15,920
OK!
350
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:17,640
[Ferd] Fucking... Shane,
will you move?!
351
00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:19,800
Well, I'm gonna
let Naomi deal with that,
that bombshell,
352
00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:23,880
I can see it's sending her
into an intersectional
feminist frenzy.
353
00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:25,720
Good stuff.
354
00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:27,360
[announcer on TV]
...there's not
so very much, lad!
355
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:28,520
Looks like they might win it!
356
00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:29,960
[cheering]
357
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,120
-[door knocks]
-[Cob] Excuse me, ladies,
358
00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:32,320
excuse me!
359
00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:34,160
-Don't mind me.
-[Karen] Aah!
360
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:35,840
-[Cob] Hi-ya!
-[Karen] Hi-ya, Cob!
361
00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:37,320
Hello.
362
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:39,240
Sorry about the Eurostar,
sounds like a nightmare.
363
00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:42,360
Naughty, aren't you?
Coming into the secret chamber!
364
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:44,040
-I know.
-Hello b-law.
365
00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:45,120
Mwah mwah.
366
00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:46,480
Vision.
367
00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:47,960
Do you know, I always
forget how tall you are.
368
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,440
How tall is he?
369
00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:50,760
[Karen] He must be
six foot two if he's a day.
370
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:52,880
-He's six foot.
-Six two in my heels.
371
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:55,560
[Grinny] I wouldn't
let him out of your sight
if I were you, Suzie.
372
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:57,960
Sorry, they said this was
the best place to get changed.
373
00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,280
I think Shane's, uh,
374
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:02,280
-using the loo.
-[Grinny] It's good luck.
375
00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:05,280
They say, "Looser the bowels,
the truer the vows."
376
00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:06,600
-[Cob] Oh, yeah.
-Do you want us to--
377
00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:08,680
Shall we leave
while you get changed?
378
00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:10,480
No, no, no, Mum.
This is the bride's
getting ready space!
379
00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:12,320
[Cob] It's fine.
It's a... it's just a,
380
00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:14,080
it's a late hen party
for you all, isn't it?
381
00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:15,640
[all laugh]
382
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:18,760
Suze, you went up
for a musical?
383
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,360
Yeah, yeah,
384
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:21,960
I just thought you know,
maybe less getting
385
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,200
murdered and raped
386
00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:24,600
and zombied all the time,
you know.
387
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:26,160
Maybe just a bit more
tap dancing.
388
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,120
Oh, are you gonna do
a musical?
389
00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:29,880
Yeah. I mean,
it's just an audition.
390
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:31,560
But it's actually,
it's a new musical,
it's pretty vibey,
391
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:34,120
it's called
"A Party for Monica Lewinsky."
392
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:35,880
Right.
393
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:37,480
And who would you be playing?
394
00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:39,320
You know, I've always
wanted to be in a chorus line.
395
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:41,320
It's like my absolute dream.
396
00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:44,040
Why, even in, like,
your wildest fantasies,
397
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:46,360
are you just
a faceless chorus member?
398
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:48,000
I mean, it's... it's your dream.
399
00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:49,560
Mum, you could literally star?
400
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,160
[Cob] Sorry, you're,
you're gonna get away from
401
00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:52,920
everything that
happened recently by playing
402
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:54,400
Monica Lewinsky?
403
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:57,240
Can you even sing?
404
00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:00,600
[Suzie] Yeah... I, I was
a professional pop star.
405
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,000
[Cob] Mm-hmm, yeah.
406
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:05,280
OK.
407
00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:08,960
Um, have you got a bag?
408
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,040
For these...
409
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,160
Don't want to ruin the line.
410
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:13,760
Yeah, I'll put it in my bag.
411
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,320
Merci beaucoup.
412
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:18,600
Uh, I'm just gonna check
if Shane's out of the toilet.
413
00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,200
[Karen] Have you been training?
414
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:23,680
You're goddamned right
I have been.
415
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,080
Have some of this.
416
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:26,520
[Grinny] Nice hairy chest,
haven't you?
417
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:47,560
Uh, news!
418
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,960
The musical wanna take
you up to a dance audition.
419
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,000
It's pretty much what you've
done before but the
choreographer's only in today.
420
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,200
Can you do it over Skype?
421
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:54,520
-What today? Like now?
-Yeah.
422
00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:56,000
I said the only time
that you're free is now?
423
00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:57,400
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's, let's do it.
424
00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:58,880
But don't tell Arch.
I don't want to pull focus.
425
00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:00,160
No. Let's go.
426
00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:02,080
Can I just put it
over here.
427
00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:03,760
Can you see me?
428
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:05,400
[choreographer]
All right, that's good.
I can see you.
429
00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:06,800
I just need you to copy
what I'm doing, OK?
430
00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:08,720
Keeping it really basic.
You'll be fine.
431
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:10,400
Um, I mean all right.
432
00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:11,480
As long as you can hear me,
talk to the beat.
433
00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:13,680
Just going to be like this, OK?
434
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:14,680
OK!
435
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:16,000
I've been sent to do the face.
436
00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:17,360
Lucky you.
437
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:18,760
[Karen]
That's nice of you, Naomi.
438
00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:19,920
Yeah.
439
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,520
Sit down, Arch,
let's have a look.
440
00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:23,560
Uh, shall we start
with the eyes?
441
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:24,520
Yeah.
442
00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:26,960
We were thinking
about Cleopatra.
443
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,360
-Eyeliner...
-OK, yeah...
444
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:29,920
-just straight then--
-Like a flick?
445
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:30,920
-Yeah.
-Sure.
446
00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:31,920
OK. Neat.
447
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:32,880
Yeah, neat.
448
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:33,880
Sure.
449
00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,320
Um...
450
00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:38,280
well, 'cause I'm
used to doing my own,
451
00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:40,200
if I just start here
452
00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:42,040
in the corner
and work across.
453
00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:43,920
Nah. Nah.
No offence.
454
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:45,400
What?
455
00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:47,240
You're not equipped.
456
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:48,560
Mum, look at that!
457
00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:49,960
-Oh fuck!
-Oh...
458
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,280
You need to smudge it.
459
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,040
-Smudge it.
-Smudge it!
460
00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:54,520
On her wedding day...
461
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:55,760
fucking hell.
462
00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:59,080
Well,
now I've lost confidence.
463
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,440
[choreographer] ...five, six, and seven, eight.
464
00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:05,160
And one, two, three, and four...
465
00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:08,520
No, no, no,you've got to go in.
466
00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:10,000
[choreographer]
With me, Suzie?
467
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:11,640
OK, take it from the top.
468
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:12,960
Sorry, start again.
469
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,080
-OK.
-And a one...
470
00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:16,960
One, two, three, four,
471
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,960
five, six, seven, eight and...
472
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,520
-That's it...
-And a one, two, three...
473
00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:21,960
-Now moving forward...
-four, five, six...
474
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,600
[Jon] Phil, come on.
475
00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:27,160
[laughing]
476
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:29,800
Eight... one, two...
477
00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:31,080
[Jon] Celebrate!
478
00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:33,160
No, go away!
479
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:34,600
I'm doing my tape!
480
00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:36,080
[Karen] What's going on out
there then?
481
00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:37,280
Don't film me!
What are you doing?
482
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:38,440
They're going to love it!
483
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:39,760
I'm so sorry.
484
00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:44,080
Mum, he looked right at me!
485
00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:45,360
[Jon] Bingo!
486
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:46,640
Sorry,
I'm at my sister's wedding.
487
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,280
[Karen]
You're not supposed to look!
488
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:49,840
I didn't see anything.
Arch, I didn't see ya!
489
00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:51,160
Oh, it doesn't matter.
490
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,240
OK, I'm gonna
have to call you back.
491
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:55,040
You've probably
fucked it with your eyes now!
492
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:56,600
I didn't see any--
Fuck off!
I didn't see anything! Arch!
493
00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:58,440
Well, smash a mirror
and cancel it out.
494
00:15:58,480 --> 00:15:59,680
It doesn't work
like that, Mum.
495
00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:00,760
[Naomi] Get that, Jon?
496
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:02,120
[Jon laughs]
497
00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:05,640
[Naomi] She can't control
who comes into the garden.
498
00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:06,960
Whatever, it's fine.
499
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,800
Just don't bring this
energy into the minivan.
500
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:10,680
I just don't want youremembering this as Suzie
making it all about her.
501
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,760
Well, we'll finish
the make-up en route.
502
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:33,320
["Wedding March" plays]
503
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:40,480
[buzzes]
504
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,160
Why is it only married people
that cry at weddings?
505
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:46,560
[toilet flushes]
506
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:47,720
[Karen] Oh, God!
507
00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:50,160
Apparently,
I haven't got anywhere to sit
508
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:51,560
because I'm not
supposed to be here.
509
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,240
[Suzie]
You are supposed to be here!
510
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:55,120
You can't just say that
and it's true.
511
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:56,600
It's fine.
512
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,200
[blows loudly]
513
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:11,800
By the way,
514
00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:15,760
your dad's in a bit of
a state about everything.
515
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:17,680
And he wants me
to ask you something.
516
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:19,280
What?
517
00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:21,280
Right, you're not allowed
to get angry with me, all right?
518
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:22,840
Oh no, here we go.
519
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,240
No, listen, I don't know
anything about this, but...
520
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:27,160
your dad's gonna do
a chat with one of the men
521
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,200
from The Sun,
just so you know.
522
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:31,080
What?
523
00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:33,640
It's 30 grand, love.
524
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:35,360
What? What,
what are you talking about?
525
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,360
They just want to talk
to him about stuff
526
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:38,920
and your life, you know.
527
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:40,640
I mean, it's about all of us,
all this.
528
00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:43,800
And Archie is gonna
get 30 grand as a gift.
529
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:45,800
For a deposit.
530
00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:47,400
I mean, have you got her a gift?
531
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:49,400
Yeah, I've got her a gift!
532
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:50,840
-I've got her a...
-What?
533
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:53,800
An air purifier
that also cools.
534
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,200
Nice.
But this is better.
535
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,960
It's a house.
536
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,520
Hang on, Dad's gonna
talk to a paper?
537
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:03,040
Yeah, but he's stressedthat you are gonna
get stressed about it.
538
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:04,080
OK, all right.
539
00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:05,400
All, all right, Mum.
540
00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:07,040
-Just another day--
-It's 30 grand!
541
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:08,760
By the way, what the
fuck are you doing...
542
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:10,480
-Oh, my God.
-...relaying messages
for your ex-husband?
543
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:11,560
I don't know.
544
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:13,120
-Just... that's all, anyway.
-Yeah.
545
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:14,920
-Right, just don't ask!
-All right, Mum!
546
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,200
Fucking hell.
547
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:29,680
Oh!
548
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:31,640
Oh, I don't want any more.
I just want a bit of cheese.
549
00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:32,720
That's what you wanted, Dad.
550
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:33,760
Here, you have it.
551
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:34,920
Shane,
come and meet my cousin.
552
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:36,280
Come on, Shane.
553
00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:37,360
Come on.
554
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:46,680
All right?
555
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,080
OK.
556
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:54,560
Mum said you're gonna
talk to The Sun?
557
00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:57,560
Why's she making
a thing about it?
558
00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:00,160
[Suzie] What,
what do you even know about it?
559
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:01,960
I know my daughter's
all over the papers.
560
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,480
No, I'm not
all over the papers,
Naomi's seen to that.
561
00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:07,200
They're not allowed to print it.
It's illegal!
562
00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:08,600
They're doing a piece on
563
00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:10,120
-"the men in your life."
-It's stolen property.
564
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:11,280
What?
565
00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:12,680
Which I do have
some feelings about,
566
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:14,200
actually, historically.
567
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:16,920
Wow.
568
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:18,560
I, I mean...
569
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:21,760
I cannot believe you're gonna
try and make money out of this.
570
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:23,560
I'm not making money out of it.
571
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:26,040
I'm giving 20 of it
to your sister
572
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:27,360
-as a wedding present...
-Right.
573
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,160
...as a deposit for a house.
574
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:31,480
OK, what about the other ten?
575
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:34,080
-[man] OK, Phil.
-Having a good time?
576
00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:36,080
-Yeah, great.
-Lovely. Nice to see the family.
577
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:38,920
It's just words, Suzie.
578
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,080
It's mental.
579
00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:41,360
They give it to you for words.
580
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:42,840
I know, Dad, I know.
581
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:44,280
Don't you think they came to me?
582
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:46,160
Didn't you think to come to me?
583
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:49,360
So I have to come to you
for permission to talk
about my own family,
584
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:50,800
is that the rule now?
585
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:52,120
Have you already done it?
586
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:53,160
You're in charge
of the family now, are you?
587
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:54,880
Apparently, Dad.
Yeah, I am.
588
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:58,080
All I know is your sisteris never gonna be
able to buy a house,
589
00:19:58,120 --> 00:20:00,160
and I can't help because--
590
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,960
Because you pissed awayall of your money and then
you pissed away all of Mum's--
591
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,760
Because of the collapse of
the industry I worked in.
592
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:07,120
Oh... What?
593
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:08,440
Fucking...
594
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:10,640
managing local bands?
That industry.
595
00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:12,240
Not just local bands.
596
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,320
And, yeah, do you the internet
doesn't affects live music?
597
00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:16,320
I literally paid off
your mortgage.
598
00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:18,320
Yeah. And moved it
into your Mum's name.
599
00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:20,440
Yeah, because you
left the house.
600
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:23,360
Then I didn't get
nothing paid off, did I?
601
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,920
I didn't get nothing.
Story of my life.
602
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:29,240
And now you say I can't
say a few words to a bloke
603
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:32,080
on the phone for
a rag that no one reads.
604
00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:34,840
Control, if you
wanna control me,
you wanna control my voice.
605
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:37,240
Well, I'm not gonna be
controlled anymore.
606
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:39,200
Hmm.
607
00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:43,600
[Phil] Got it!
608
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,080
Dad's gonna sell
a story on me.
609
00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:56,680
And you, I suppose.
610
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,040
[Cob] The point is,
nobody has any fucking sense.
611
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:05,760
[indistinct chatter]
612
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:07,840
It's hard enough without
buying into the whole...
They're jackals!
613
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:09,160
Phil, you'd understand that,
614
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:10,640
and it fucked their
marriage up...
615
00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:11,760
[Phil] Stay sensible--
616
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:13,560
Jude, Naomi...
Naomi, Jude.
617
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:15,440
-Hi, nice to meet you.
-Hi, Jude. Nice to meet you.
618
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:17,840
-Jude plays netball.
-Yes, I remember.
Thank you.
619
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,520
[children laughing]
620
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:27,000
-Want some wine, Jude?
-Yes, please.
621
00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:28,560
Thank you.
Where are you from?
622
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:08,360
Do you want this, Ferg?
623
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:10,080
[Ferg] No, you have it, darlin'.
624
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,440
[Danielle]
All right, you two...
625
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:27,240
I'd like to introduce,
626
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:28,640
the Father of the Bride.
627
00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:30,800
[applause]
628
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:33,640
[Phil] Thank you.
629
00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:40,240
Regrets...
630
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,200
-[clears throat]
-[audience laughs]
631
00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:44,200
When you have kids,
632
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:46,480
you think, "Oh God,
633
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:49,240
I've got to keep them alive,
634
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:52,240
I've got to keep
these little girls alive."
635
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,760
But then you don't
just keep 'em alive,
636
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:57,040
you've got to keep
them happy and safe,
637
00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:58,840
and warm and fed
638
00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:01,280
and even that's not enough,
you know?
639
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:02,840
Apparently.
640
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:04,440
[audience laugh]
641
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,360
"No Daddy, you mustn't shout.
642
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:11,080
You have to say,
'excuse me' when you burp."
643
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:13,800
[Jon]
Yeah, as if you ever did!
644
00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:16,360
"You shouldn't eat eggs
from those battery ones."
645
00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:19,560
I remember Archie saying to me,
646
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:22,000
"You can't sit on
that deckchair, Dad."
647
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:23,120
On the beach,
648
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:25,080
"Cause you gotta pay for it."
649
00:23:25,120 --> 00:23:26,400
And I said,
650
00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:28,440
"It's all right!
they'll come round."
651
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:30,440
But she was very cross
that whole time,
652
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:31,800
do you remember, squidge?
653
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:34,320
"No, you got
to pay for it, Daddy!"
654
00:23:34,360 --> 00:23:36,000
And I'm from the '60s,
655
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:37,840
"Fuck the deckchair man."
656
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:39,680
[audience laughs and cheers]
657
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,720
So I walk all the way down
the beach to find the bloke.
658
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:48,280
Course when we get back there,
659
00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:50,560
there's these
other bastards sat there.
660
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:54,680
Now, I'm about
to lose my absolute...
661
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:58,680
and there's Archie beaming.
662
00:24:00,120 --> 00:24:01,440
She said,
663
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:03,280
"They don't even know
they're a present, Dad!"
664
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:04,280
[audience awes]
665
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:05,880
[Phil laughs]
666
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:08,200
'Cause that made her day.
667
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:10,120
-[crying]
-[applause]
668
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:13,280
-That wasn't--
-[Cob] What?
669
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:15,360
That never happened.
670
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:17,680
That was me!
671
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:19,600
[Phil] Someone who makes
you into a better man.
672
00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:21,320
Which is what my kids
did for me.
673
00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:23,320
So I don't need to think
of anything else to say.
674
00:24:23,360 --> 00:24:25,440
'Cause I'm so happy for you.
675
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:26,720
And um,
676
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:28,200
it's good to,
677
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:30,000
and nice to feel something pure.
678
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:31,920
Because there's not
a lot that is.
679
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:35,440
And you got to remember
when something's pure, incha.
680
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:37,800
OK.
681
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:40,760
[applause]
682
00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:53,280
[man] Everyone, would like
to do a toast
to Shane and Archie.
683
00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:55,480
[all] Shane and Archie.
684
00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:58,520
Cheers.
685
00:24:58,560 --> 00:24:59,840
Cheers, love.
686
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:02,280
[glasses clinking]
687
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:05,400
["Rock the Casbah" playing]
688
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:10,240
♪ As soon as the Shareef
Was chauffeured outta there ♪
689
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:14,040
♪ The jet pilots tuned to
The cockpit radio blare ♪
690
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:18,120
♪ As soon as the Shareef
Was outta their hair ♪
691
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:21,640
♪ The jet pilots wailed
692
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:24,280
♪ The Shareef don't like it
693
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:27,400
♪ Rock the Casbah
694
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:29,160
♪ Rock the Casbah
695
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,880
♪ The Shareef don't like it
696
00:25:33,120 --> 00:25:34,800
♪ Rock the Casbah
697
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:36,440
♪ Rock the Casbah
698
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:37,720
♪ The Shareef don't like it
699
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:40,240
♪ He thinks it's not kosher
700
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:42,040
♪ Rock the Casbah
701
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:44,040
♪ Rock the Casbah
702
00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:45,640
♪ The Shareef don't like it
703
00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:47,840
♪ Fundamentally can't take it
704
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,680
♪ Rock the Casbah,
Rock the Casbah... ♪
705
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:56,320
[applause and cheers]
706
00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:58,080
[disco music plays]
707
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:07,240
Your husband's an asshole.
708
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:08,640
Why is it OK for
you to say that to me?
709
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:10,880
If I said that to you,
you'd all explode.
710
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:12,440
Because it's factually accurate.
711
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:14,360
I was just saying
I find weddings depressing--
712
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:15,840
No, you were saying
they were depressing,
713
00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:17,120
you were claiming it as a fact.
714
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:18,120
[Naomi]
Because it's a fact to me.
715
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:19,520
It's about the amount of hope.
716
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:21,880
That's the exact opposite
of depressing, surely.
717
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:25,600
[Naomi] I mean you have thiswoman handed from one man
to another man to be owned and--
718
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:27,640
[Cob] Oh, you don't mean that,
you don't even think that.
719
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:29,760
You're just quoting from some
idea which is just as received
720
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:31,520
and false as yousay marriage is.
Just to impress--
721
00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:33,080
[Naomi] OK, OK,
that's fine, Cob.
722
00:26:33,120 --> 00:26:35,080
No, no, no,because I could easily
play devil's advocate
723
00:26:35,120 --> 00:26:36,600
with that whole
who owns what thing.
724
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:38,120
Ooh, devil's is
my favorite kind of advocacy!
725
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:39,240
-Oh, guys, come on.
-[Cob] Oh, good.
726
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:40,640
OK, well.
No, man bash, sure.
727
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:42,240
-That's, that's genius.
-[Naomi] Yeah.
728
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:43,520
But just... OK,
say, for example,
729
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,520
say men wanna be
with a woman, right?
730
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:46,840
Wanna be in a relationship
with a woman.
731
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:48,960
So women say,
"Why should I be?
732
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:50,280
What are you offering me?"
733
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:51,720
Well, what,
what are you offering her?
734
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:53,160
So men go out and they,
735
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:54,920
they, they kill animals
and they build huts
736
00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:57,360
and they build civilizations,
they make an empire,
737
00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:00,440
"What about protecting me?
What, what if
you're not around."
738
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:02,400
OK, yeah, good point.
739
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:04,320
So he goes out and he makes
the police force
and he makes the army
740
00:27:04,360 --> 00:27:06,440
and he persuades men
to die and go to war.
741
00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:08,800
She says,
"But what about nice things?
742
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:10,120
I want nice things."
743
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:11,600
All right, yeah,
OK, fair enough,
744
00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:13,600
so he makes the economy
and he builds skyscrapers
745
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:15,080
-and the fucking
concept of money.
-Yeah, fucking dicks
746
00:27:15,120 --> 00:27:16,920
-in the sky, man...
-She says,
747
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:19,040
"Why have you
got all that stuff?
I want some of that stuff.
748
00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:20,600
Why do I have to sit
here in this massive house
you built me all day?"
749
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:22,200
So men go,
"OK yeah, no, fair enough,
750
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:23,600
I can appreciate that.
Why don't you come in,
751
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:25,080
why don't you be
part of this thing?"
752
00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:26,440
"But I want half of it!"
753
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:28,560
"Yeah, OK, fine.
No, I understand that.
754
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,440
Here you go,
why don't you come in
and be half of this thing.
755
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:31,800
I think you're great."
756
00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:33,480
"Ugh! Stop harassing me!
757
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:34,760
Get the fuck out,
this is all mine now.
Get out."
758
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:36,320
"No, well that's
not really on, is it?
759
00:27:36,360 --> 00:27:37,800
I built all of this
just to impress you."
760
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:39,320
"I don't care, get out,
this is all mine now.
761
00:27:39,360 --> 00:27:41,040
Why the fuck should
women be with men
762
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:42,440
if they can't
offer them anything?
What is the point?
763
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:44,040
That is exactly
what I'm saying to you!
764
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,040
You're, you're agreeing.
You're agreeing!
765
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:48,960
Basically, men built theworld so women would fuck them
and then women are like,
766
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:50,720
"Give me this
world you've built,
oh, and also,
767
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:52,400
we don't want
to fuck you anymore."
768
00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:54,040
-[laughing]
-Would be the argument.
769
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:55,240
OK.
770
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:57,040
Are you married?
771
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:58,800
-That's my wife.
-Yeah, we are.
772
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:00,200
Yeah.
773
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:01,960
OK, I'm just
trying to liven things up.
774
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:03,280
It's actually quite depressing.
775
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:04,760
[Naomi] Let's dance.
776
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:06,040
[Jude] Let's do it.
777
00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:07,680
[sniffs]
778
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:10,880
[Cob] You're welcome.
I'm going for a piss.
779
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:13,480
Look after my phone, will you?
All your family are thieves.
780
00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:38,680
[Phil] She's made me do this...
781
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:42,960
[sings "American Pie"]
782
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:45,240
♪ A long, long time ago
783
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:47,600
♪ I can still remember how
784
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:50,240
♪ How that music used
To make me smile ♪
785
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:55,440
♪ And I knew if
I had my chance ♪
786
00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:59,160
♪ That I could make
Those people dance ♪
787
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:01,120
♪ And maybe they'd be happy
788
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:03,760
♪ For a while
789
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:08,720
♪ But February made me shiver
790
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:13,000
♪ With every paper
I'd deliver ♪
791
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:15,680
♪ Bad news on the doorstep
792
00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:18,800
♪ I couldn't take
One more step ♪
793
00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:43,040
[slaps]
794
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:46,360
♪ So bye, bye
Miss American Pie ♪
795
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:49,040
♪ Drove my Chevy to the levee
796
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:51,200
♪ But the levee was dry
797
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:52,560
Yeah, come on!
798
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:54,400
[all join in]
♪ Them good 'ole boys
799
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:56,880
♪ Were drinking
Whiskey and rye ♪
800
00:29:56,920 --> 00:30:01,840
♪ Singin' this'll be
The day that I die ♪
801
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:04,760
♪ This'll be the day
That I die ♪
802
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:07,880
Come on!
803
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:10,040
♪ Did you write
The book of love ♪
804
00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:14,200
♪ And do you have
Faith in God above ♪
805
00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:16,720
Forget it, by the way.
806
00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:18,240
I'm not doing it anymore.
807
00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:20,440
No papers,
no present for Archie.
808
00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:22,040
I'm tired of being
the asshole.
809
00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:24,320
You be the asshole.
810
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:28,640
♪ Well, I know that
You're in love with him ♪
811
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:31,920
♪ 'Cause I saw you dancin'
In the gym ♪
812
00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:34,920
♪ You both kicked off
Your shoes ♪
813
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:38,880
♪ Man, I dig those
Rhythm and blues ♪
814
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:42,640
♪ I was a lonely
Teenage broncin' buck ♪
815
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:46,520
♪ With a pink carnation
And a pickup truck ♪
816
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:49,440
♪ But I knew
I was out of luck ♪
817
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:54,440
♪ The day the music died...
818
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:56,080
Big time.
819
00:30:57,560 --> 00:30:59,080
We were gonna
stay at the hotel
820
00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:00,560
but it was like 300 quid
and we'd rather just put
821
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:02,400
that on a deposit for a holiday.
822
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:05,840
It's better here anyway
so he can be sick.
823
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:11,280
What the fuck
does she keep in this room?
824
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:13,520
Have you ever
looked in here?
825
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:14,720
No.
826
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:18,880
At least she doesn't
keep this out anymore.
827
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:20,360
[laughs]
828
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:24,520
She is so mental.
829
00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:27,160
When this was my room
830
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:29,840
she used to, like, come in and
ask me if she should leave Dad.
831
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:31,440
Did she ever do that to you?
832
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:34,400
-No!
-Um... thanks.
833
00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:38,120
She'd come in
and she'd be hammered.
834
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:41,240
She'd be like,
835
00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:43,120
"Do you think
I should leave your father?
836
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:44,480
You do, don't you?"
837
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:46,520
Fucking hell.
What did you say?
838
00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:48,560
I... I don't know,
I was ten!
839
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:50,640
Did you say yeah?
840
00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:52,640
No, it wasn't me, Arch.
841
00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:55,280
Dad left Mum.
The walls are pretty thin.
842
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:57,400
He's actually,
843
00:31:57,440 --> 00:31:58,800
he's told me not
to tell you
844
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:00,520
'cause he doesn't want you
to do favorites,
845
00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:03,200
but he's giving
me and Shane like 15 grand
846
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:04,640
for a deposit on a house,
you know.
847
00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:06,160
He's actually sorted
a lot out--
848
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:08,840
Fifteen!
OK, but do you actually know--
849
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:10,200
Why have you
got to shit on everything?
850
00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:11,800
I'm not, it's just--
851
00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:13,440
It might not be a lot
of money to you, but it's--
852
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:15,600
-OK, but it's Dad.
-It's a wedding present.
853
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:17,320
'Cause,
854
00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:19,960
don't say anything,
855
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:22,080
but I reckon I'm up the wotsit.
856
00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:24,760
Are you fucking joking?
857
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:26,360
You've been wankered all day?!
858
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:28,400
Well, yeah, that's why
I haven't done a test.
859
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:30,040
I'm not not gonna drink
at my wedding, am I?
860
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:32,360
But you know youshouldn't drink whilst
you're pregnant, Arch.
861
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:34,200
Well, I figured a lot
don't stick, do they?
862
00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:35,960
And I reckon
if this one can survive
863
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:37,520
all the shit that
I throw at it,
864
00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:39,080
then it really
wants to survive
865
00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:40,840
and have a go at life,
you know.
866
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:43,360
Anyway,
we're all happy at the minute.
867
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:06,880
I could drive him
back to the hotel.
868
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:08,120
I haven't drunk anything.
869
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:09,840
No, he knows where he is here.
870
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:12,200
Yeah.
871
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:13,680
OK, good.
872
00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:24,480
No, it's all right,
it's all right.
873
00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:25,840
[grunts]
874
00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:30,280
I want you to fuck
this bloodline out of me.
875
00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:40,160
Let's get these
bad boys off.
876
00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:42,880
This is fucking sexy, right.
877
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:44,640
-When I take it off.
-[Jude] I'll bet it is.
878
00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:45,760
It's fucking sexy.
879
00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:47,080
Come on then.
880
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:49,480
It takes quite a long time.
881
00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:51,560
Well hurry up!
882
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:52,640
There it is.
883
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:53,680
Wow!
884
00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:54,800
Merry Christmas.
885
00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:56,040
Pretty fucking hot, right?
886
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:57,040
Mmm-hmm.
887
00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:58,840
Mm-hmm. You just wait!
888
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:00,000
You just wait.
889
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:01,640
Oh, yeah.
890
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:05,840
I love your hair.
891
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:07,600
Oh, well,
you're in luck, baby.
892
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:09,720
'Cause there's plenty more
where that came from.
893
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:17,600
I thought you loved my hair.
894
00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:19,160
I do love your hair,
I just...
895
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:20,720
I wanna see your face.
896
00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:27,320
Oh, hello.
897
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:28,720
Were you bitten by a shark?
898
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:30,200
It's a caesarean scar.
899
00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:32,360
Oh.
900
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:36,880
It's a long time ago.
901
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:39,520
Oh God, it's not dead, is it?
902
00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:41,160
What?
903
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:42,840
No!
904
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:44,480
She's on holiday in Greece.
905
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:47,080
She's seventeen.
906
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:48,560
Oh, wow.
907
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:50,880
[Jude] This is, um...
908
00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:53,280
like my first night out
since I was 20.
909
00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:57,840
Welcome back!
910
00:35:02,240 --> 00:35:03,800
Stop, listen...
911
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:07,880
-[door unlocking]
-[woman giggling]
912
00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:19,400
-Shh...
-[Karen and Phil fumbling]
913
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:22,400
[Karen giggling]
You dirty bastard, get off!
914
00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:26,520
-Uh... I, I think it's...
-Did you hear that?
915
00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:27,840
[Phil] Go on, get up those
stairs so I can do you properly,
916
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:29,400
-you naughty girl.
-Did you hear that?
917
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:31,280
-[Cob] Shh, shh...
-Oh, my God!
918
00:35:33,240 --> 00:35:35,080
Just...
919
00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:40,360
No, no, no, no!
920
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:42,480
Oh, my God,
it's Mum and Dad!
921
00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:44,720
It's fucking Mum and Dad.
922
00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:46,400
It's not ideal.
923
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:55,480
I think we broke
your mum's sink.
924
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:57,240
[laughs] Yeah...
925
00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:01,760
...you set off then,
you're all right.
926
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:04,200
Mum, I'm going to transfer
15 grand to Dad,
927
00:36:04,240 --> 00:36:06,680
so just make sure Archie gets
the full 15, yeah?
928
00:36:06,720 --> 00:36:07,880
Yeah, I heard you!
929
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:09,400
Yeah, but how are you
gonna to do that?
930
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:10,880
I dunno,I'll look at the bank,
won't I?
931
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:12,600
But you don't have access
to Archie's bank account.
932
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:14,400
Just ask her
how much Dad gives her
933
00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:16,320
and make sure it's
the full 15. Yeah?
934
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:17,360
-Yeah.
-Yes?
935
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:18,600
Yeah, all right, all right.
936
00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:19,840
It's a bit early.
937
00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:21,720
Go on. Go on, off you go,
before it gets busy.
938
00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:23,480
[Phil] Karen!
Make us a tea, love!
939
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:27,320
Everyone had to stop over
last night. Bloody mad house.
940
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:30,280
All right,
I'll see ya later.
941
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:31,840
-Yeah.
-See ya. Bye.
942
00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:33,440
Ta-ra, love. Off you go.
943
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:40,240
[folk music playing]
944
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:44,520
[Naomi] Hello, Pickles.
945
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:46,920
Can I bum a ciggie
before we go get fingered
in the railway arches?
946
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:49,200
I think we should stop
talking like that
in front of him, OK?
947
00:36:49,240 --> 00:36:50,840
I'm worried he's
absorbing stuff all the time,
948
00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:53,280
like a big sanitary towel
full of my gross...
949
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:55,440
blah.
950
00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:57,640
You mean stuff like that?
951
00:36:57,680 --> 00:37:00,320
I need you to get me
something from the chemist.
952
00:37:01,240 --> 00:37:02,800
[whispers]
The morning after pill.
953
00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:05,760
Slag...
954
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:09,600
Come on...
955
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:18,280
[man playing guitar]
956
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:19,680
♪ Day light
957
00:37:19,720 --> 00:37:22,160
♪ It leads me back your way
958
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:24,240
♪ Fallin'
959
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:27,000
♪ Into my mind again
960
00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:29,040
♪ I'll say this
961
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:32,640
♪ I miss you more, my friend
962
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:38,720
♪ Sonny got a job
And Jean left home ♪
963
00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:41,040
♪ Jackie took a chance
And went alone ♪
964
00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:44,200
♪ And I can feel
The road up under my feet ♪
965
00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:48,560
♪ Years flew by
And the poor in vain ♪
966
00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:50,880
♪ And hear you
Calling my name ♪
967
00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:53,680
♪ I can feel
The road up under my feet ♪
968
00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:57,400
♪ Wake me up
969
00:37:57,440 --> 00:37:59,800
♪ When the morning comes
970
00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:01,680
♪ Wake me up...
971
00:38:09,240 --> 00:38:11,560
I really wanna be
in a musical.
972
00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:13,440
I think they'll offer,
you know.
973
00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:15,600
No, I mean all the time.
974
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:21,560
I know... s-sorry.
975
00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:25,160
Right, uh...
976
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:27,040
[sighs]
977
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:29,120
♪ I miss you, my old friend
978
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:35,960
♪ Sonny got a job
And Jean left home ♪
979
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,520
♪ Jackie took a chance
And went alone ♪
980
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:41,840
♪ I can feel
The road up under my feet ♪
981
00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:45,640
♪ Years flew by
And the poor in vain ♪
982
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:48,000
♪ And hear you
Calling my name ♪
983
00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:51,240
♪ And I can feel
The road up under my feet ♪
984
00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:54,440
♪ Wake me up
985
00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:56,440
♪ When the morning comes
986
00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:59,200
♪ Wake me up...
69522
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