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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,840 --> 00:00:03,000 [clears throat] 2 00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:04,280 [woman] Can we get a snatch of a song, 3 00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:06,040 just to see if you can hold a note? 4 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:08,640 I, I know it seems daft to ask you, but you know? 5 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:10,120 No, it's, um, it's fine. 6 00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:12,680 It was all auto-tuned back then, 7 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:14,840 so just really, really, 8 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:16,800 lower your expectations... 9 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:18,680 [all laugh] 10 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:20,000 OK. 11 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:25,240 ♪ A long, long time ago 12 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:27,920 ♪ I can still remember 13 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:30,880 ♪ How that music used to make me ♪ 14 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:32,360 Shall I get up? 15 00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:37,040 Erm, ta da da erm... [humming] 16 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,320 Sorry, um... 17 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,120 [humming] 18 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:50,120 ♪ February made me shiver 19 00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:53,320 ♪ With every paper I'd deliver ♪ 20 00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:57,160 ♪ Bad news on the doorstep 21 00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,880 ♪ I couldn't take one more step ♪ 22 00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:01,640 That's fine. 23 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:02,880 ♪ I can't... 24 00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:03,920 -OK... -Oh! 25 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:04,920 -Thanks! -Really? 26 00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:05,840 [man] Yes! 27 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:07,120 [woman] It's lovely! 28 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:08,360 OK! Thank you. 29 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,240 Suzie, thank you so much for coming today. 30 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:11,560 God, are we done? 31 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:12,960 -OK, thank you so much. -Thank you. 32 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:13,960 Thank you. 33 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,080 Oh, it's so lovely to see you. 34 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:16,400 -Nice to see you! -Thank you. 35 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:18,160 -Say good-bye. -Bye bye, Frank! 36 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:19,880 How do you say good-bye? 37 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:21,080 Just as you would normally. 38 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:22,120 Oh! 39 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:23,120 -Bye Frank! -Bye! 40 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:24,520 Bye bye! Bye, Frank! 41 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:25,400 Bye bye! 42 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:26,640 -Thank you. -Bye! 43 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:27,720 -OK, bye. -Bye! 44 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:36,280 Really? 45 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:37,760 Really?! 46 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:39,000 You were very good. 47 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:40,200 You were very good. 48 00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:41,880 You're Mummy's secret weapon. 49 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:42,960 Do you know that? 50 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,640 You bring Mummy luck! 51 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,320 You bring Mummy such luck. 52 00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:04,000 [Suzie] Look... 53 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:05,600 Swimming pool. 54 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:10,320 Yeah. 55 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:12,800 Yeah, but where you are now... 56 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:13,800 at school, 57 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:15,400 you have lots of friends, 58 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:16,200 don't you? 59 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:17,840 You're special there. 60 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:20,160 So would you rather be special? 61 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:23,240 Or fit in? 62 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:26,760 Yeah! 63 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:28,200 I hear you. 64 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:32,320 [iPad rings] 65 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,000 Oh look, it's dad! 66 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:38,160 Hey! 67 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:39,360 [Cob] Hey! 68 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:40,480 How's the study trip? 69 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:41,960 I thought you were asleep. 70 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,160 Are you still awake? 71 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:44,800 Are you still in Paris? 72 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:47,360 I thought you'd be on the train by now? 73 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,560 Yeah, we actually, we actually missed the last train! 74 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:52,080 We missed the Eurostar so the students are looking at somewhere to stay. 75 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:53,160 Valerie's on it. 76 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:54,160 [Valerie] I'm on it! 77 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:55,400 She's on it. 78 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:57,000 Right. 79 00:02:58,160 --> 00:02:59,640 So what about tomorrow? 80 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,080 I mean, don't... you, you don't have to come if you-- 81 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:03,760 It's fine. 82 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:05,360 Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah! No, I'll come straight there. 83 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,000 I'll get the first train and I'll um, 84 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:08,240 I'll come straight there. 85 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:09,400 Fuck, shit! 86 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,240 -[women laugh and cheer] -My god, 87 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:13,240 I nearly just walked into one of those French, piss things. 88 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,480 -What are these called? -[Valerie] I don't know! 89 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:15,960 [Cob] Pisseur! Viva la pisseur! 90 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:16,920 [Valerie] Viva la pisseur! 91 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:18,400 -[call ends] -Oh! 92 00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:23,000 Crazy! 93 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:28,200 [theme music playing] 94 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:31,600 [glass shatters] 95 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:36,960 Uh, these hierarchies are all fucked up, 96 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,600 Mr. Sitting in the Front. 97 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:41,760 I can feel the hair on my back stand up as we cross the border. 98 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,120 Your back? 99 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:44,680 Yeah, I'm covered in hair, you know that. 100 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:46,800 Why are you so relaxed? 101 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:48,320 Is Cob not coming? 102 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:49,720 Oh, my God, is that why I'm here? 103 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:51,080 [Suzie] No, he was. 104 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:52,560 He's stuck in Paris with his students. 105 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,520 I sort of hope he doesn't. For his sake. 106 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:56,080 [Naomi] Have your family seen the photos? 107 00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:57,560 Poor Cob. 108 00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:58,400 Poor Cob. 109 00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:00,000 My family don't mind a slag. 110 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,000 But you don't wanna be married to one, do you know what I mean? 111 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:04,600 -God, I hate going home. -Oh, Jesus Christ. 112 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:05,920 Embrace yourself! 113 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:07,240 Nah, that is why I'm, like, 114 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:08,960 totally sold on having a kid on my own. 115 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,160 Like, burn this trad shit down. 116 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,160 Well, there'll be lots of free spunk at this. 117 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:15,200 My dad's side are irresponsibly fertile. 118 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:17,160 -[retches] -[laughs] 119 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,640 [Naomi] God, how's your mum going to cope with your dad being there? 120 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:21,240 [Suzie groans] 121 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:24,240 Oh, did you hear back from the musical? 122 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:25,840 [Naomi] No. 123 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:27,200 -No? -Mmm-mm. 124 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:32,280 [Naomi] Oh, Jesus! 125 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:33,480 [Suzie] All right! 126 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:34,600 Here we are. 127 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:40,560 Come on then, darlin'. 128 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:41,720 Let's go. 129 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:47,960 [Karen] Oh, God! 130 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,720 All these bloody people! 131 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:50,760 Yeah, it's a wedding, Mum. 132 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:52,000 [Naomi] Hey, Mrs P! 133 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:53,120 [Karen] Ah, hello love. 134 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:55,600 Hey, I've been praying for you! 135 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:57,280 Come 'ere, come 'ere! 136 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:01,760 Hey, haven't you got him one of them cochlear things yet? 137 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,280 He doesn't want one. 138 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:05,160 [Karen] Well, he's seven, how does he fucking know? 139 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:06,760 Have you not seen the videos? They're heart breaking. 140 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:08,400 [Suzie] It's doesn't work like that for everyone, 141 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:09,720 he's not a good candidate. 142 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:10,800 No, no, no. 143 00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:12,360 They even do it with dogs now, 144 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:14,120 and there's one hearing his owner for the first time 145 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,040 -and his little tail! -Oh, is it! 146 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:17,560 Oh, it's marvelous. 147 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:19,360 -Yeah, come in, sweetheart. -Yeah, it sounds it. 148 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:20,800 -Oh, you're looking lovely, Naomi... -So do you! 149 00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:22,760 [Phil] Here she comes... first born. 150 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,240 [Suzie] Hello, Jon. 151 00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:27,840 Oh, I didn't recognize you without a penis nearby! 152 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:28,840 -Yeah. -[Phil] Wha-- Hey! 153 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:29,960 [Karen] Jon, don't start! 154 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,320 [Phil] There is a penis nearby! 155 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:32,720 [Lila] It's you, Jon. 156 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:33,760 [all laugh] 157 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,240 Has he gone outside? 158 00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:36,680 [Jon] Uh, get me the um... pass me the thing. 159 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:37,960 What are you after now? 160 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,240 [Suzie] Is this what we're using? 161 00:05:39,280 --> 00:05:41,440 Excuse me, I'll get you a drink in a minute. 162 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:43,600 [Naomi] Nice spread. 163 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:44,800 Well done, Karen. 164 00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:47,160 -Na-naaaaa! -[screams] 165 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:49,640 -What the-- -Now I recognize you! 166 00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:51,000 Yeah. Yeah. 167 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:52,200 Bit light for you though, Suzie girl! 168 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:53,520 [Suzie] Was that worth it? 169 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:55,000 [woman] Surprise! 170 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:56,360 Bloody hell! 171 00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:57,720 [Karen] Come and get some food, people! 172 00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:00,280 Dad, can I have a fag while he's out? 173 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:02,760 Has he left you then, out of embarrassment? 174 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:03,920 [Naomi] Oh, Jesus! 175 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:05,160 Don't worry, it's all right! 176 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:06,640 -Here you go. -Oh, thank you! 177 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:08,400 [Jon] Made my eyes water and I only saw the blurry ones! 178 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:10,120 [Shane] ♪ Golf ball through your nose... ♪ 179 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:11,400 Oh, all right, Shane? 180 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:12,480 [Shane] Yeah. You all right, Suze? 181 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:13,800 Mum, where shall we get changed? 182 00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:14,800 Shall we just go upstairs? 183 00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:16,000 What's that? 184 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:17,160 I, I can't hear, what did you say? 185 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,560 I said where are we changing? 186 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,040 Nah, Suze, 187 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,560 you sound like you've got something in your mouth. 188 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:23,520 Ooh! Ooh! 189 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:25,120 -[laughs] -[Karen] Phil! 190 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:26,880 Don't do that when Cob is here. 191 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,000 Don't "Phil" me in my own house. 192 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:30,760 It's literally not your house. 193 00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:34,080 Well, you can't go upstairs, can you, sweetheart, 194 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:35,320 'cause, um... 195 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:36,960 'Cause your sister's up there, ain't she? 196 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,760 [Lila] It's not her, it's him. He can't go upstairs. 197 00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:40,560 -[Naomi] Starting early. -[Danielle] All right, Suze? 198 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:41,960 Oh, hi! 199 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,520 I can't think straight! 200 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:44,960 What are you all doing sat in the kitchen? 201 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:46,800 Go on, sod off all of you. 202 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,600 [Phil] Harpy! 203 00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:52,640 [Danielle] Ere, you know what I wanna know! 204 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:55,480 How many famous people you met? 205 00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:58,960 Well, I work with famous people every day so literally all the time. 206 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,080 No, not you, Suze. 207 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:02,800 How many famous people you met? Name them. 208 00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:03,760 Oh, I've met loads. 209 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:05,680 I've met Louis Theroux? 210 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:07,040 -I've met-- -Who-- Who, who? 211 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:08,400 Louis Theroux, you know who that is? 212 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:09,200 No. 213 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:10,320 Oh, my God. 214 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:11,680 [Danielle] Next. Who else? 215 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:13,200 What? Well, I've met loads. 216 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:14,880 Like, what, do you want me just list famous people? 217 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:16,040 -[Danielle] Yes. -What's going on 218 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:17,360 with all this naked stuff? 219 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:19,440 -I mean, I know... -Straight in. 220 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,440 [Lila] I'd feel terrible, I would feel awful. I would feel so awful. 221 00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:22,680 Did you sell it or something? 222 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:23,880 What? No! 223 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:25,600 No, it's an awful angle, for anyone. 224 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:27,160 I'd of deleted it.Why didn't you just delete it straight away? 225 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:28,560 I did delete it! 226 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:30,320 They steal recently deleted stuff too now. 227 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:31,440 -[Danielle] Fuck off. -Do they? -Be careful. 228 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:32,560 Oh, I'm gonna be really rude now. 229 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,080 Do you know when you go on top, 230 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,520 you know when you go on top, right? 231 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:36,840 You know what I'm talking about, right... 232 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:38,240 when you lean, 233 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:39,920 -when you lean over... -Oh, don't. 234 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,280 ...you wanna get a mirror and check what they are seeing. 235 00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:44,120 -I've got udders. -[laughing] 236 00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:46,360 [Lila] And I go body pump twice a week, d'you know what I mean?! 237 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:49,360 -Where's your boyfriend, Naomi? -[Karen] Oh no, no, no... 238 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:50,560 [Naomi] Where's my boyfriend? 239 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:51,760 [Karen] Do you remember, she's not um... 240 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:52,720 -She's...? -[Naomi] No, no. 241 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:53,960 Well, I'm actually 50-50. 242 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,040 She's into women. 243 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:57,080 Oh, mate, I would... 244 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:58,520 -at a fanny. -[all laugh] 245 00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:00,120 [Lila] Don't you wax them every day at work? 246 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:01,680 Yes, I get paid to do that! 247 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:03,120 I'm not nose deep in it, am I? 248 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:04,400 Well, 60-40. 249 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:06,200 Sixty-forty men now, talking to you. 250 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:07,600 [Danielle] One time during a massage, 251 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:08,880 I was so hungover, 252 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:10,640 I vommed all over her lower back. 253 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:12,880 -Seventy-thirty. -[Danielle] That's my limit. 254 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:15,560 That area is a no-go, mate. 255 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:17,160 -Strictly dickly me. -[all laughing] 256 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:18,400 [Naomi] All right, Danielle. 257 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:19,800 I wouldn't do you either so chill out. 258 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:20,800 [Danielle] Oh, charming! 259 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:22,040 [Karen] Shane! Shane! 260 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:23,400 Shane's cousin's here, isn't she? 261 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:24,680 Oh, yes! 262 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:26,800 She plays netball for Kent! She's gay. She's gay. 263 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,600 Actually Naomi's inthe market for a bit of spunk, if there's any going... 264 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:33,760 Didn't-- Didn't Cob wanna have more kids 265 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:35,120 and then you didn't? 266 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:37,360 Oh, my God. That's not true, is it? 267 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,040 -Ooh! Mum... No. -[Naomi] It is true. 268 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:40,880 [Lila] Well, there's the solution, you can have her old fella! 269 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:42,240 Yeah, yeah, knock yourself out. 270 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:43,560 I think even I might have a line. 271 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:45,000 -[Suzie] Fill your boots. -[Naomi] Yeah. 272 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:46,760 Mum's strictly dickly, right, Mum? 273 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:48,120 [Danielle] Are ya? 274 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:49,720 So here's to that, the strictly dickly crew! 275 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:52,800 -All right. -All right. 276 00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:55,080 Oh babe. 277 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:57,000 Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. 278 00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:58,200 All right, Grinny? 279 00:08:58,240 --> 00:08:59,760 Oh this is mad, isn't it? 280 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,240 Look at you... look at you, 281 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:02,920 so crazy 'cause you're eight still, aren't you? 282 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:04,080 How are you? What the fuck? 283 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:05,400 Don't. How am I? 284 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:08,120 How are you? You've got a lot of make-up on. 285 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,040 No, this is normal. 286 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:12,560 Well, I've brought the um... Magic Showbiz box. 287 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:15,720 So have you got any words of wisdom for your sister? 288 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:17,200 You've done it enough times. 289 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:19,400 Well, it's a sign I'm not very good at it, Grin. 290 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:21,040 [under her breath] Can't say that... 291 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:23,640 I bet this dress makes you want to be sick. 292 00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:24,960 No. 293 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,600 [Karen] Your father's doing my bloody head in. 294 00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:28,320 It's good. It's looking quite creased on there... 295 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,920 Ah, you look like a model! Look at you. 296 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,720 She's gorgeous, ain't she? 297 00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:35,000 This is actually really good. 298 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:36,360 [Karen] Give us a fag. 299 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:37,720 [Grinny] Oh, blimey, what are you doing? 300 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:39,400 Mum, what are you doing? You sat on the dress. 301 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:40,840 All right. Bloody hell. Keep your hair on. 302 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:42,320 You're just gonna crease it all! 303 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:43,680 You're just smoking next to it, it'll go up. 304 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:44,960 [Karen] It's creased anyway. Jesus! 305 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,360 [Grinny] What are you like? 306 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:47,880 -[Naomi] Hey, Ferd. -[Ferd] All right? 307 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,320 [Naomi] All right, Shane? 308 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:50,600 Budge up. 309 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:56,720 [Jon]Thing is that center forward, I've seen milk turn faster... 310 00:09:58,120 --> 00:09:59,640 size of his arse. 311 00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:01,160 [Phil] Size of your arse. 312 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:04,720 [Jon] He ain't fit. Look, look. 313 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:06,680 [Grinny] Karen says you've done a porno? 314 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,480 No, I didn't. 315 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:09,720 I... I, I didn't. 316 00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:10,960 [Archie] Who's the bloke in it? 317 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,040 I bet you shat yourself. 318 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:13,320 [Suzie] No, it doesn't matter. 319 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:14,600 [Grinny] It's all them Kardashians. 320 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:16,200 [Karen] I'm just worried about you. 321 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,400 A married woman doesn't need to do all that stuff. 322 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:20,040 -[doorbell rings] -[Archie] Look, honestly, 323 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:22,200 when I think about what's on my phone. Ugh. 324 00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:23,800 [door knocks] 325 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:24,960 [Danielle] Suze? 326 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,600 Your husband's here! 327 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,000 OK. Off. 328 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:32,560 [Cob] Bonjour! 329 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:34,560 I hear a television. It must be a wedding day! 330 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:36,160 [football plays over TV] 331 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,400 Oh, here he is, sound of the devil. 332 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,160 OK, Shane, congrats. 333 00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:46,880 I see you're enjoying your last free moments there, quite right! 334 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:48,680 Take a pew. Liverpool scored. 335 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:50,680 Utterly convinced,aren't you, if you keep telling me things, 336 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:52,160 eventually I'm gonna care. 337 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:53,560 Hello, Phil. 338 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:57,240 Not even a joke about my wife in those photos? 339 00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:59,240 No? I thought that'd be right up your street. 340 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:00,920 Feel free to shout cuckold. 341 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:01,960 That's my daughter. 342 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,360 Well, indeed. Yes, it is. 343 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:04,760 Yeah! 344 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:06,680 Not gonna allude to me being unable to satisfy her? 345 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:08,360 I expected a bit more badinage mate. 346 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:09,680 What's a cuckold again? 347 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:11,160 [Jon] You'll find out. 348 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:14,400 It's a porn thing. When a black guy does it. 349 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:15,920 OK! 350 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:17,640 [Ferd] Fucking... Shane, will you move?! 351 00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:19,800 Well, I'm gonna let Naomi deal with that, that bombshell, 352 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:23,880 I can see it's sending her into an intersectional feminist frenzy. 353 00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:25,720 Good stuff. 354 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:27,360 [announcer on TV] ...there's not so very much, lad! 355 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:28,520 Looks like they might win it! 356 00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:29,960 [cheering] 357 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,120 -[door knocks] -[Cob] Excuse me, ladies, 358 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:32,320 excuse me! 359 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:34,160 -Don't mind me. -[Karen] Aah! 360 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:35,840 -[Cob] Hi-ya! -[Karen] Hi-ya, Cob! 361 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:37,320 Hello. 362 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:39,240 Sorry about the Eurostar, sounds like a nightmare. 363 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:42,360 Naughty, aren't you? Coming into the secret chamber! 364 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:44,040 -I know. -Hello b-law. 365 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:45,120 Mwah mwah. 366 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:46,480 Vision. 367 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:47,960 Do you know, I always forget how tall you are. 368 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,440 How tall is he? 369 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:50,760 [Karen] He must be six foot two if he's a day. 370 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:52,880 -He's six foot. -Six two in my heels. 371 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:55,560 [Grinny] I wouldn't let him out of your sight if I were you, Suzie. 372 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:57,960 Sorry, they said this was the best place to get changed. 373 00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,280 I think Shane's, uh, 374 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:02,280 -using the loo. -[Grinny] It's good luck. 375 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:05,280 They say, "Looser the bowels, the truer the vows." 376 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:06,600 -[Cob] Oh, yeah. -Do you want us to-- 377 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:08,680 Shall we leave while you get changed? 378 00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:10,480 No, no, no, Mum. This is the bride's getting ready space! 379 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:12,320 [Cob] It's fine. It's a... it's just a, 380 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:14,080 it's a late hen party for you all, isn't it? 381 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:15,640 [all laugh] 382 00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:18,760 Suze, you went up for a musical? 383 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,360 Yeah, yeah, 384 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:21,960 I just thought you know, maybe less getting 385 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,200 murdered and raped 386 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:24,600 and zombied all the time, you know. 387 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:26,160 Maybe just a bit more tap dancing. 388 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,120 Oh, are you gonna do a musical? 389 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:29,880 Yeah. I mean, it's just an audition. 390 00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:31,560 But it's actually, it's a new musical, it's pretty vibey, 391 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:34,120 it's called "A Party for Monica Lewinsky." 392 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:35,880 Right. 393 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:37,480 And who would you be playing? 394 00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:39,320 You know, I've always wanted to be in a chorus line. 395 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:41,320 It's like my absolute dream. 396 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:44,040 Why, even in, like, your wildest fantasies, 397 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:46,360 are you just a faceless chorus member? 398 00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:48,000 I mean, it's... it's your dream. 399 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:49,560 Mum, you could literally star? 400 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,160 [Cob] Sorry, you're, you're gonna get away from 401 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:52,920 everything that happened recently by playing 402 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:54,400 Monica Lewinsky? 403 00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:57,240 Can you even sing? 404 00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:00,600 [Suzie] Yeah... I, I was a professional pop star. 405 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,000 [Cob] Mm-hmm, yeah. 406 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:05,280 OK. 407 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:08,960 Um, have you got a bag? 408 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,040 For these... 409 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,160 Don't want to ruin the line. 410 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:13,760 Yeah, I'll put it in my bag. 411 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,320 Merci beaucoup. 412 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:18,600 Uh, I'm just gonna check if Shane's out of the toilet. 413 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,200 [Karen] Have you been training? 414 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:23,680 You're goddamned right I have been. 415 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,080 Have some of this. 416 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:26,520 [Grinny] Nice hairy chest, haven't you? 417 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:47,560 Uh, news! 418 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,960 The musical wanna take you up to a dance audition. 419 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,000 It's pretty much what you've done before but the choreographer's only in today. 420 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,200 Can you do it over Skype? 421 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:54,520 -What today? Like now? -Yeah. 422 00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:56,000 I said the only time that you're free is now? 423 00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:57,400 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's, let's do it. 424 00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:58,880 But don't tell Arch. I don't want to pull focus. 425 00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:00,160 No. Let's go. 426 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:02,080 Can I just put it over here. 427 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:03,760 Can you see me? 428 00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:05,400 [choreographer] All right, that's good. I can see you. 429 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:06,800 I just need you to copy what I'm doing, OK? 430 00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:08,720 Keeping it really basic. You'll be fine. 431 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:10,400 Um, I mean all right. 432 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:11,480 As long as you can hear me, talk to the beat. 433 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:13,680 Just going to be like this, OK? 434 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:14,680 OK! 435 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:16,000 I've been sent to do the face. 436 00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:17,360 Lucky you. 437 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:18,760 [Karen] That's nice of you, Naomi. 438 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:19,920 Yeah. 439 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,520 Sit down, Arch, let's have a look. 440 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:23,560 Uh, shall we start with the eyes? 441 00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:24,520 Yeah. 442 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:26,960 We were thinking about Cleopatra. 443 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,360 -Eyeliner... -OK, yeah... 444 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:29,920 -just straight then-- -Like a flick? 445 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:30,920 -Yeah. -Sure. 446 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:31,920 OK. Neat. 447 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:32,880 Yeah, neat. 448 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:33,880 Sure. 449 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,320 Um... 450 00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:38,280 well, 'cause I'm used to doing my own, 451 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:40,200 if I just start here 452 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:42,040 in the corner and work across. 453 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:43,920 Nah. Nah. No offence. 454 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:45,400 What? 455 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:47,240 You're not equipped. 456 00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:48,560 Mum, look at that! 457 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:49,960 -Oh fuck! -Oh... 458 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,280 You need to smudge it. 459 00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,040 -Smudge it. -Smudge it! 460 00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:54,520 On her wedding day... 461 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:55,760 fucking hell. 462 00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:59,080 Well, now I've lost confidence. 463 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,440 [choreographer] ...five, six, and seven, eight. 464 00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:05,160 And one, two, three, and four... 465 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:08,520 No, no, no,you've got to go in. 466 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:10,000 [choreographer] With me, Suzie? 467 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:11,640 OK, take it from the top. 468 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:12,960 Sorry, start again. 469 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,080 -OK. -And a one... 470 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:16,960 One, two, three, four, 471 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,960 five, six, seven, eight and... 472 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,520 -That's it... -And a one, two, three... 473 00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:21,960 -Now moving forward... -four, five, six... 474 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,600 [Jon] Phil, come on. 475 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:27,160 [laughing] 476 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:29,800 Eight... one, two... 477 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:31,080 [Jon] Celebrate! 478 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:33,160 No, go away! 479 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:34,600 I'm doing my tape! 480 00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:36,080 [Karen] What's going on out there then? 481 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:37,280 Don't film me! What are you doing? 482 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:38,440 They're going to love it! 483 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:39,760 I'm so sorry. 484 00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:44,080 Mum, he looked right at me! 485 00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:45,360 [Jon] Bingo! 486 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:46,640 Sorry, I'm at my sister's wedding. 487 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,280 [Karen] You're not supposed to look! 488 00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:49,840 I didn't see anything. Arch, I didn't see ya! 489 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:51,160 Oh, it doesn't matter. 490 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,240 OK, I'm gonna have to call you back. 491 00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:55,040 You've probably fucked it with your eyes now! 492 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:56,600 I didn't see any-- Fuck off! I didn't see anything! Arch! 493 00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:58,440 Well, smash a mirror and cancel it out. 494 00:15:58,480 --> 00:15:59,680 It doesn't work like that, Mum. 495 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:00,760 [Naomi] Get that, Jon? 496 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:02,120 [Jon laughs] 497 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:05,640 [Naomi] She can't control who comes into the garden. 498 00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:06,960 Whatever, it's fine. 499 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,800 Just don't bring this energy into the minivan. 500 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:10,680 I just don't want youremembering this as Suzie making it all about her. 501 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,760 Well, we'll finish the make-up en route. 502 00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:33,320 ["Wedding March" plays] 503 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:40,480 [buzzes] 504 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,160 Why is it only married people that cry at weddings? 505 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:46,560 [toilet flushes] 506 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:47,720 [Karen] Oh, God! 507 00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:50,160 Apparently, I haven't got anywhere to sit 508 00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:51,560 because I'm not supposed to be here. 509 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,240 [Suzie] You are supposed to be here! 510 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:55,120 You can't just say that and it's true. 511 00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:56,600 It's fine. 512 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,200 [blows loudly] 513 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:11,800 By the way, 514 00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:15,760 your dad's in a bit of a state about everything. 515 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:17,680 And he wants me to ask you something. 516 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:19,280 What? 517 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:21,280 Right, you're not allowed to get angry with me, all right? 518 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:22,840 Oh no, here we go. 519 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,240 No, listen, I don't know anything about this, but... 520 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:27,160 your dad's gonna do a chat with one of the men 521 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,200 from The Sun, just so you know. 522 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:31,080 What? 523 00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:33,640 It's 30 grand, love. 524 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:35,360 What? What, what are you talking about? 525 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,360 They just want to talk to him about stuff 526 00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:38,920 and your life, you know. 527 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:40,640 I mean, it's about all of us, all this. 528 00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:43,800 And Archie is gonna get 30 grand as a gift. 529 00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:45,800 For a deposit. 530 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:47,400 I mean, have you got her a gift? 531 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:49,400 Yeah, I've got her a gift! 532 00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:50,840 -I've got her a... -What? 533 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:53,800 An air purifier that also cools. 534 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,200 Nice. But this is better. 535 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,960 It's a house. 536 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,520 Hang on, Dad's gonna talk to a paper? 537 00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:03,040 Yeah, but he's stressedthat you are gonna get stressed about it. 538 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:04,080 OK, all right. 539 00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:05,400 All, all right, Mum. 540 00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:07,040 -Just another day-- -It's 30 grand! 541 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:08,760 By the way, what the fuck are you doing... 542 00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:10,480 -Oh, my God. -...relaying messages for your ex-husband? 543 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:11,560 I don't know. 544 00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:13,120 -Just... that's all, anyway. -Yeah. 545 00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:14,920 -Right, just don't ask! -All right, Mum! 546 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,200 Fucking hell. 547 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:29,680 Oh! 548 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:31,640 Oh, I don't want any more. I just want a bit of cheese. 549 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:32,720 That's what you wanted, Dad. 550 00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:33,760 Here, you have it. 551 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:34,920 Shane, come and meet my cousin. 552 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:36,280 Come on, Shane. 553 00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:37,360 Come on. 554 00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:46,680 All right? 555 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,080 OK. 556 00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:54,560 Mum said you're gonna talk to The Sun? 557 00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:57,560 Why's she making a thing about it? 558 00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:00,160 [Suzie] What, what do you even know about it? 559 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:01,960 I know my daughter's all over the papers. 560 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,480 No, I'm not all over the papers, Naomi's seen to that. 561 00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:07,200 They're not allowed to print it. It's illegal! 562 00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:08,600 They're doing a piece on 563 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:10,120 -"the men in your life." -It's stolen property. 564 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:11,280 What? 565 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:12,680 Which I do have some feelings about, 566 00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:14,200 actually, historically. 567 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:16,920 Wow. 568 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:18,560 I, I mean... 569 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:21,760 I cannot believe you're gonna try and make money out of this. 570 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:23,560 I'm not making money out of it. 571 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:26,040 I'm giving 20 of it to your sister 572 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:27,360 -as a wedding present... -Right. 573 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,160 ...as a deposit for a house. 574 00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:31,480 OK, what about the other ten? 575 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:34,080 -[man] OK, Phil. -Having a good time? 576 00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:36,080 -Yeah, great. -Lovely. Nice to see the family. 577 00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:38,920 It's just words, Suzie. 578 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,080 It's mental. 579 00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:41,360 They give it to you for words. 580 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:42,840 I know, Dad, I know. 581 00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:44,280 Don't you think they came to me? 582 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:46,160 Didn't you think to come to me? 583 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:49,360 So I have to come to you for permission to talk about my own family, 584 00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:50,800 is that the rule now? 585 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:52,120 Have you already done it? 586 00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:53,160 You're in charge of the family now, are you? 587 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:54,880 Apparently, Dad. Yeah, I am. 588 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:58,080 All I know is your sisteris never gonna be able to buy a house, 589 00:19:58,120 --> 00:20:00,160 and I can't help because-- 590 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,960 Because you pissed awayall of your money and then you pissed away all of Mum's-- 591 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,760 Because of the collapse of the industry I worked in. 592 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:07,120 Oh... What? 593 00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:08,440 Fucking... 594 00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:10,640 managing local bands? That industry. 595 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:12,240 Not just local bands. 596 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,320 And, yeah, do you the internet doesn't affects live music? 597 00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:16,320 I literally paid off your mortgage. 598 00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:18,320 Yeah. And moved it into your Mum's name. 599 00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:20,440 Yeah, because you left the house. 600 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:23,360 Then I didn't get nothing paid off, did I? 601 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,920 I didn't get nothing. Story of my life. 602 00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:29,240 And now you say I can't say a few words to a bloke 603 00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:32,080 on the phone for a rag that no one reads. 604 00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:34,840 Control, if you wanna control me, you wanna control my voice. 605 00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:37,240 Well, I'm not gonna be controlled anymore. 606 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:39,200 Hmm. 607 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:43,600 [Phil] Got it! 608 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,080 Dad's gonna sell a story on me. 609 00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:56,680 And you, I suppose. 610 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,040 [Cob] The point is, nobody has any fucking sense. 611 00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:05,760 [indistinct chatter] 612 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:07,840 It's hard enough without buying into the whole... They're jackals! 613 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:09,160 Phil, you'd understand that, 614 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:10,640 and it fucked their marriage up... 615 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:11,760 [Phil] Stay sensible-- 616 00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:13,560 Jude, Naomi... Naomi, Jude. 617 00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:15,440 -Hi, nice to meet you. -Hi, Jude. Nice to meet you. 618 00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:17,840 -Jude plays netball. -Yes, I remember. Thank you. 619 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,520 [children laughing] 620 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:27,000 -Want some wine, Jude? -Yes, please. 621 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:28,560 Thank you. Where are you from? 622 00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:08,360 Do you want this, Ferg? 623 00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:10,080 [Ferg] No, you have it, darlin'. 624 00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,440 [Danielle] All right, you two... 625 00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:27,240 I'd like to introduce, 626 00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:28,640 the Father of the Bride. 627 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:30,800 [applause] 628 00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:33,640 [Phil] Thank you. 629 00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:40,240 Regrets... 630 00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,200 -[clears throat] -[audience laughs] 631 00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:44,200 When you have kids, 632 00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:46,480 you think, "Oh God, 633 00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:49,240 I've got to keep them alive, 634 00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:52,240 I've got to keep these little girls alive." 635 00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,760 But then you don't just keep 'em alive, 636 00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:57,040 you've got to keep them happy and safe, 637 00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:58,840 and warm and fed 638 00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:01,280 and even that's not enough, you know? 639 00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:02,840 Apparently. 640 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:04,440 [audience laugh] 641 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,360 "No Daddy, you mustn't shout. 642 00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:11,080 You have to say, 'excuse me' when you burp." 643 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:13,800 [Jon] Yeah, as if you ever did! 644 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:16,360 "You shouldn't eat eggs from those battery ones." 645 00:23:17,600 --> 00:23:19,560 I remember Archie saying to me, 646 00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:22,000 "You can't sit on that deckchair, Dad." 647 00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:23,120 On the beach, 648 00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:25,080 "Cause you gotta pay for it." 649 00:23:25,120 --> 00:23:26,400 And I said, 650 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:28,440 "It's all right! they'll come round." 651 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:30,440 But she was very cross that whole time, 652 00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:31,800 do you remember, squidge? 653 00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:34,320 "No, you got to pay for it, Daddy!" 654 00:23:34,360 --> 00:23:36,000 And I'm from the '60s, 655 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:37,840 "Fuck the deckchair man." 656 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:39,680 [audience laughs and cheers] 657 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,720 So I walk all the way down the beach to find the bloke. 658 00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:48,280 Course when we get back there, 659 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:50,560 there's these other bastards sat there. 660 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:54,680 Now, I'm about to lose my absolute... 661 00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:58,680 and there's Archie beaming. 662 00:24:00,120 --> 00:24:01,440 She said, 663 00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:03,280 "They don't even know they're a present, Dad!" 664 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:04,280 [audience awes] 665 00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:05,880 [Phil laughs] 666 00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:08,200 'Cause that made her day. 667 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:10,120 -[crying] -[applause] 668 00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:13,280 -That wasn't-- -[Cob] What? 669 00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:15,360 That never happened. 670 00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:17,680 That was me! 671 00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:19,600 [Phil] Someone who makes you into a better man. 672 00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:21,320 Which is what my kids did for me. 673 00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:23,320 So I don't need to think of anything else to say. 674 00:24:23,360 --> 00:24:25,440 'Cause I'm so happy for you. 675 00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:26,720 And um, 676 00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:28,200 it's good to, 677 00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:30,000 and nice to feel something pure. 678 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:31,920 Because there's not a lot that is. 679 00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:35,440 And you got to remember when something's pure, incha. 680 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:37,800 OK. 681 00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:40,760 [applause] 682 00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:53,280 [man] Everyone, would like to do a toast to Shane and Archie. 683 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:55,480 [all] Shane and Archie. 684 00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:58,520 Cheers. 685 00:24:58,560 --> 00:24:59,840 Cheers, love. 686 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:02,280 [glasses clinking] 687 00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:05,400 ["Rock the Casbah" playing] 688 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:10,240 ♪ As soon as the Shareef Was chauffeured outta there ♪ 689 00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:14,040 ♪ The jet pilots tuned to The cockpit radio blare ♪ 690 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:18,120 ♪ As soon as the Shareef Was outta their hair ♪ 691 00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:21,640 ♪ The jet pilots wailed 692 00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:24,280 ♪ The Shareef don't like it 693 00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:27,400 ♪ Rock the Casbah 694 00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:29,160 ♪ Rock the Casbah 695 00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,880 ♪ The Shareef don't like it 696 00:25:33,120 --> 00:25:34,800 ♪ Rock the Casbah 697 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:36,440 ♪ Rock the Casbah 698 00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:37,720 ♪ The Shareef don't like it 699 00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:40,240 ♪ He thinks it's not kosher 700 00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:42,040 ♪ Rock the Casbah 701 00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:44,040 ♪ Rock the Casbah 702 00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:45,640 ♪ The Shareef don't like it 703 00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:47,840 ♪ Fundamentally can't take it 704 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,680 ♪ Rock the Casbah, Rock the Casbah... ♪ 705 00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:56,320 [applause and cheers] 706 00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:58,080 [disco music plays] 707 00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:07,240 Your husband's an asshole. 708 00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:08,640 Why is it OK for you to say that to me? 709 00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:10,880 If I said that to you, you'd all explode. 710 00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:12,440 Because it's factually accurate. 711 00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:14,360 I was just saying I find weddings depressing-- 712 00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:15,840 No, you were saying they were depressing, 713 00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:17,120 you were claiming it as a fact. 714 00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:18,120 [Naomi] Because it's a fact to me. 715 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:19,520 It's about the amount of hope. 716 00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:21,880 That's the exact opposite of depressing, surely. 717 00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:25,600 [Naomi] I mean you have thiswoman handed from one man to another man to be owned and-- 718 00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:27,640 [Cob] Oh, you don't mean that, you don't even think that. 719 00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:29,760 You're just quoting from some idea which is just as received 720 00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:31,520 and false as yousay marriage is. Just to impress-- 721 00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:33,080 [Naomi] OK, OK, that's fine, Cob. 722 00:26:33,120 --> 00:26:35,080 No, no, no,because I could easily play devil's advocate 723 00:26:35,120 --> 00:26:36,600 with that whole who owns what thing. 724 00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:38,120 Ooh, devil's is my favorite kind of advocacy! 725 00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:39,240 -Oh, guys, come on. -[Cob] Oh, good. 726 00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:40,640 OK, well. No, man bash, sure. 727 00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:42,240 -That's, that's genius. -[Naomi] Yeah. 728 00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:43,520 But just... OK, say, for example, 729 00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,520 say men wanna be with a woman, right? 730 00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:46,840 Wanna be in a relationship with a woman. 731 00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:48,960 So women say, "Why should I be? 732 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:50,280 What are you offering me?" 733 00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:51,720 Well, what, what are you offering her? 734 00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:53,160 So men go out and they, 735 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:54,920 they, they kill animals and they build huts 736 00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:57,360 and they build civilizations, they make an empire, 737 00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:00,440 "What about protecting me? What, what if you're not around." 738 00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:02,400 OK, yeah, good point. 739 00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:04,320 So he goes out and he makes the police force and he makes the army 740 00:27:04,360 --> 00:27:06,440 and he persuades men to die and go to war. 741 00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:08,800 She says, "But what about nice things? 742 00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:10,120 I want nice things." 743 00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:11,600 All right, yeah, OK, fair enough, 744 00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:13,600 so he makes the economy and he builds skyscrapers 745 00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:15,080 -and the fucking concept of money. -Yeah, fucking dicks 746 00:27:15,120 --> 00:27:16,920 -in the sky, man... -She says, 747 00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:19,040 "Why have you got all that stuff? I want some of that stuff. 748 00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:20,600 Why do I have to sit here in this massive house you built me all day?" 749 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:22,200 So men go, "OK yeah, no, fair enough, 750 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:23,600 I can appreciate that. Why don't you come in, 751 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:25,080 why don't you be part of this thing?" 752 00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:26,440 "But I want half of it!" 753 00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:28,560 "Yeah, OK, fine. No, I understand that. 754 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,440 Here you go, why don't you come in and be half of this thing. 755 00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:31,800 I think you're great." 756 00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:33,480 "Ugh! Stop harassing me! 757 00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:34,760 Get the fuck out, this is all mine now. Get out." 758 00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:36,320 "No, well that's not really on, is it? 759 00:27:36,360 --> 00:27:37,800 I built all of this just to impress you." 760 00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:39,320 "I don't care, get out, this is all mine now. 761 00:27:39,360 --> 00:27:41,040 Why the fuck should women be with men 762 00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:42,440 if they can't offer them anything? What is the point? 763 00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:44,040 That is exactly what I'm saying to you! 764 00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,040 You're, you're agreeing. You're agreeing! 765 00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:48,960 Basically, men built theworld so women would fuck them and then women are like, 766 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:50,720 "Give me this world you've built, oh, and also, 767 00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:52,400 we don't want to fuck you anymore." 768 00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:54,040 -[laughing] -Would be the argument. 769 00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:55,240 OK. 770 00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:57,040 Are you married? 771 00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:58,800 -That's my wife. -Yeah, we are. 772 00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:00,200 Yeah. 773 00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:01,960 OK, I'm just trying to liven things up. 774 00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:03,280 It's actually quite depressing. 775 00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:04,760 [Naomi] Let's dance. 776 00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:06,040 [Jude] Let's do it. 777 00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:07,680 [sniffs] 778 00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:10,880 [Cob] You're welcome. I'm going for a piss. 779 00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:13,480 Look after my phone, will you? All your family are thieves. 780 00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:38,680 [Phil] She's made me do this... 781 00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:42,960 [sings "American Pie"] 782 00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:45,240 ♪ A long, long time ago 783 00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:47,600 ♪ I can still remember how 784 00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:50,240 ♪ How that music used To make me smile ♪ 785 00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:55,440 ♪ And I knew if I had my chance ♪ 786 00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:59,160 ♪ That I could make Those people dance ♪ 787 00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:01,120 ♪ And maybe they'd be happy 788 00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:03,760 ♪ For a while 789 00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:08,720 ♪ But February made me shiver 790 00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:13,000 ♪ With every paper I'd deliver ♪ 791 00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:15,680 ♪ Bad news on the doorstep 792 00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:18,800 ♪ I couldn't take One more step ♪ 793 00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:43,040 [slaps] 794 00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:46,360 ♪ So bye, bye Miss American Pie ♪ 795 00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:49,040 ♪ Drove my Chevy to the levee 796 00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:51,200 ♪ But the levee was dry 797 00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:52,560 Yeah, come on! 798 00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:54,400 [all join in] ♪ Them good 'ole boys 799 00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:56,880 ♪ Were drinking Whiskey and rye ♪ 800 00:29:56,920 --> 00:30:01,840 ♪ Singin' this'll be The day that I die ♪ 801 00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:04,760 ♪ This'll be the day That I die ♪ 802 00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:07,880 Come on! 803 00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:10,040 ♪ Did you write The book of love ♪ 804 00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:14,200 ♪ And do you have Faith in God above ♪ 805 00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:16,720 Forget it, by the way. 806 00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:18,240 I'm not doing it anymore. 807 00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:20,440 No papers, no present for Archie. 808 00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:22,040 I'm tired of being the asshole. 809 00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:24,320 You be the asshole. 810 00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:28,640 ♪ Well, I know that You're in love with him ♪ 811 00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:31,920 ♪ 'Cause I saw you dancin' In the gym ♪ 812 00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:34,920 ♪ You both kicked off Your shoes ♪ 813 00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:38,880 ♪ Man, I dig those Rhythm and blues ♪ 814 00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:42,640 ♪ I was a lonely Teenage broncin' buck ♪ 815 00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:46,520 ♪ With a pink carnation And a pickup truck ♪ 816 00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:49,440 ♪ But I knew I was out of luck ♪ 817 00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:54,440 ♪ The day the music died... 818 00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:56,080 Big time. 819 00:30:57,560 --> 00:30:59,080 We were gonna stay at the hotel 820 00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:00,560 but it was like 300 quid and we'd rather just put 821 00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:02,400 that on a deposit for a holiday. 822 00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:05,840 It's better here anyway so he can be sick. 823 00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:11,280 What the fuck does she keep in this room? 824 00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:13,520 Have you ever looked in here? 825 00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:14,720 No. 826 00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:18,880 At least she doesn't keep this out anymore. 827 00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:20,360 [laughs] 828 00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:24,520 She is so mental. 829 00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:27,160 When this was my room 830 00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:29,840 she used to, like, come in and ask me if she should leave Dad. 831 00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:31,440 Did she ever do that to you? 832 00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:34,400 -No! -Um... thanks. 833 00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:38,120 She'd come in and she'd be hammered. 834 00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:41,240 She'd be like, 835 00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:43,120 "Do you think I should leave your father? 836 00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:44,480 You do, don't you?" 837 00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:46,520 Fucking hell. What did you say? 838 00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:48,560 I... I don't know, I was ten! 839 00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:50,640 Did you say yeah? 840 00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:52,640 No, it wasn't me, Arch. 841 00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:55,280 Dad left Mum. The walls are pretty thin. 842 00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:57,400 He's actually, 843 00:31:57,440 --> 00:31:58,800 he's told me not to tell you 844 00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:00,520 'cause he doesn't want you to do favorites, 845 00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:03,200 but he's giving me and Shane like 15 grand 846 00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:04,640 for a deposit on a house, you know. 847 00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:06,160 He's actually sorted a lot out-- 848 00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:08,840 Fifteen! OK, but do you actually know-- 849 00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:10,200 Why have you got to shit on everything? 850 00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:11,800 I'm not, it's just-- 851 00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:13,440 It might not be a lot of money to you, but it's-- 852 00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:15,600 -OK, but it's Dad. -It's a wedding present. 853 00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:17,320 'Cause, 854 00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:19,960 don't say anything, 855 00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:22,080 but I reckon I'm up the wotsit. 856 00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:24,760 Are you fucking joking? 857 00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:26,360 You've been wankered all day?! 858 00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:28,400 Well, yeah, that's why I haven't done a test. 859 00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:30,040 I'm not not gonna drink at my wedding, am I? 860 00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:32,360 But you know youshouldn't drink whilst you're pregnant, Arch. 861 00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:34,200 Well, I figured a lot don't stick, do they? 862 00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:35,960 And I reckon if this one can survive 863 00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:37,520 all the shit that I throw at it, 864 00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:39,080 then it really wants to survive 865 00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:40,840 and have a go at life, you know. 866 00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:43,360 Anyway, we're all happy at the minute. 867 00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:06,880 I could drive him back to the hotel. 868 00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:08,120 I haven't drunk anything. 869 00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:09,840 No, he knows where he is here. 870 00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:12,200 Yeah. 871 00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:13,680 OK, good. 872 00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:24,480 No, it's all right, it's all right. 873 00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:25,840 [grunts] 874 00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:30,280 I want you to fuck this bloodline out of me. 875 00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:40,160 Let's get these bad boys off. 876 00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:42,880 This is fucking sexy, right. 877 00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:44,640 -When I take it off. -[Jude] I'll bet it is. 878 00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:45,760 It's fucking sexy. 879 00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:47,080 Come on then. 880 00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:49,480 It takes quite a long time. 881 00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:51,560 Well hurry up! 882 00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:52,640 There it is. 883 00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:53,680 Wow! 884 00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:54,800 Merry Christmas. 885 00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:56,040 Pretty fucking hot, right? 886 00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:57,040 Mmm-hmm. 887 00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:58,840 Mm-hmm. You just wait! 888 00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:00,000 You just wait. 889 00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:01,640 Oh, yeah. 890 00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:05,840 I love your hair. 891 00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:07,600 Oh, well, you're in luck, baby. 892 00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:09,720 'Cause there's plenty more where that came from. 893 00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:17,600 I thought you loved my hair. 894 00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:19,160 I do love your hair, I just... 895 00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:20,720 I wanna see your face. 896 00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:27,320 Oh, hello. 897 00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:28,720 Were you bitten by a shark? 898 00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:30,200 It's a caesarean scar. 899 00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:32,360 Oh. 900 00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:36,880 It's a long time ago. 901 00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:39,520 Oh God, it's not dead, is it? 902 00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:41,160 What? 903 00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:42,840 No! 904 00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:44,480 She's on holiday in Greece. 905 00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:47,080 She's seventeen. 906 00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:48,560 Oh, wow. 907 00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:50,880 [Jude] This is, um... 908 00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:53,280 like my first night out since I was 20. 909 00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:57,840 Welcome back! 910 00:35:02,240 --> 00:35:03,800 Stop, listen... 911 00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:07,880 -[door unlocking] -[woman giggling] 912 00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:19,400 -Shh... -[Karen and Phil fumbling] 913 00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:22,400 [Karen giggling] You dirty bastard, get off! 914 00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:26,520 -Uh... I, I think it's... -Did you hear that? 915 00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:27,840 [Phil] Go on, get up those stairs so I can do you properly, 916 00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:29,400 -you naughty girl. -Did you hear that? 917 00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:31,280 -[Cob] Shh, shh... -Oh, my God! 918 00:35:33,240 --> 00:35:35,080 Just... 919 00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:40,360 No, no, no, no! 920 00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:42,480 Oh, my God, it's Mum and Dad! 921 00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:44,720 It's fucking Mum and Dad. 922 00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:46,400 It's not ideal. 923 00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:55,480 I think we broke your mum's sink. 924 00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:57,240 [laughs] Yeah... 925 00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:01,760 ...you set off then, you're all right. 926 00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:04,200 Mum, I'm going to transfer 15 grand to Dad, 927 00:36:04,240 --> 00:36:06,680 so just make sure Archie gets the full 15, yeah? 928 00:36:06,720 --> 00:36:07,880 Yeah, I heard you! 929 00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:09,400 Yeah, but how are you gonna to do that? 930 00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:10,880 I dunno,I'll look at the bank, won't I? 931 00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:12,600 But you don't have access to Archie's bank account. 932 00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:14,400 Just ask her how much Dad gives her 933 00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:16,320 and make sure it's the full 15. Yeah? 934 00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:17,360 -Yeah. -Yes? 935 00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:18,600 Yeah, all right, all right. 936 00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:19,840 It's a bit early. 937 00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:21,720 Go on. Go on, off you go, before it gets busy. 938 00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:23,480 [Phil] Karen! Make us a tea, love! 939 00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:27,320 Everyone had to stop over last night. Bloody mad house. 940 00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:30,280 All right, I'll see ya later. 941 00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:31,840 -Yeah. -See ya. Bye. 942 00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:33,440 Ta-ra, love. Off you go. 943 00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:40,240 [folk music playing] 944 00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:44,520 [Naomi] Hello, Pickles. 945 00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:46,920 Can I bum a ciggie before we go get fingered in the railway arches? 946 00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:49,200 I think we should stop talking like that in front of him, OK? 947 00:36:49,240 --> 00:36:50,840 I'm worried he's absorbing stuff all the time, 948 00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:53,280 like a big sanitary towel full of my gross... 949 00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:55,440 blah. 950 00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:57,640 You mean stuff like that? 951 00:36:57,680 --> 00:37:00,320 I need you to get me something from the chemist. 952 00:37:01,240 --> 00:37:02,800 [whispers] The morning after pill. 953 00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:05,760 Slag... 954 00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:09,600 Come on... 955 00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:18,280 [man playing guitar] 956 00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:19,680 ♪ Day light 957 00:37:19,720 --> 00:37:22,160 ♪ It leads me back your way 958 00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:24,240 ♪ Fallin' 959 00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:27,000 ♪ Into my mind again 960 00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:29,040 ♪ I'll say this 961 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:32,640 ♪ I miss you more, my friend 962 00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:38,720 ♪ Sonny got a job And Jean left home ♪ 963 00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:41,040 ♪ Jackie took a chance And went alone ♪ 964 00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:44,200 ♪ And I can feel The road up under my feet ♪ 965 00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:48,560 ♪ Years flew by And the poor in vain ♪ 966 00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:50,880 ♪ And hear you Calling my name ♪ 967 00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:53,680 ♪ I can feel The road up under my feet ♪ 968 00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:57,400 ♪ Wake me up 969 00:37:57,440 --> 00:37:59,800 ♪ When the morning comes 970 00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:01,680 ♪ Wake me up... 971 00:38:09,240 --> 00:38:11,560 I really wanna be in a musical. 972 00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:13,440 I think they'll offer, you know. 973 00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:15,600 No, I mean all the time. 974 00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:21,560 I know... s-sorry. 975 00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:25,160 Right, uh... 976 00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:27,040 [sighs] 977 00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:29,120 ♪ I miss you, my old friend 978 00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:35,960 ♪ Sonny got a job And Jean left home ♪ 979 00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,520 ♪ Jackie took a chance And went alone ♪ 980 00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:41,840 ♪ I can feel The road up under my feet ♪ 981 00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:45,640 ♪ Years flew by And the poor in vain ♪ 982 00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:48,000 ♪ And hear you Calling my name ♪ 983 00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:51,240 ♪ And I can feel The road up under my feet ♪ 984 00:38:52,480 --> 00:38:54,440 ♪ Wake me up 985 00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:56,440 ♪ When the morning comes 986 00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:59,200 ♪ Wake me up... 69522

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