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[ Brakes squeak, hiss ]
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[ Door clicks open ]
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Hey, do you know what time, like, the return bus comes?
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[ Crickets chirping ]
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Cool.
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[ Music playing, indistinct conversations ]
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[ Sign buzzing intermittently ]
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[ Door clangs opens ]
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[ Smooth jazz playing, indistinct conversations ]
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♪♪
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♪♪
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Hey, what's up? My name's Francis,
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and I'm writing an article about Cardboard City
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for my school newspaper.
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Could I, like, ask you a couple questions or whatever?
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Ok-eye.
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So do have any, like, special skills?
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Eye...dance.
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♪♪
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♪♪
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That was cool.
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You should, like, dance on a stage or something.
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Eye...
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shy.
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Uh... [Chuckles] Hello?
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[ Thump! ]
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[ Thump! ]
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[ Thump! ]
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[ Scoffs ] Okay.
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So, like, what advice do you have for, like, somebody my age?
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Grow the hell up!
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What the hell do we have so many children
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these days runnin' around everywhere for?
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How many big ballers do you know
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that are 2, 3, 4, 5 years old? Nobody, right?
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Ain't nobody ballin' at your young-ass age,
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so grow the hell up.
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Wait.
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Like, how old are you?
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How old do I look, man?!
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I dunno. Like...40?
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What! Yo mama's 40.
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That's it! I'm done with this donkey-ass interview, man.
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Wait, hold on.
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I am done, bruh. I am overdone, man.
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I'm burnt!
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[ Beatboxing ]
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I'll take questions now.
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♪♪
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I have a question.
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What are your pet peeves?
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I hate when, uh, you're in the shower...
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[ Chuckles ]
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I -- I -- I hate when you're in the shower.
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And I'm talking to you.
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What are you, like, afraid of more than anything
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in the whole world?
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Uh...
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lions.
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Whoa, have you ever seen one?
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No, uhh, I mean what do they look like?
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[ Chuckling ]
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You're not a lion are you?
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Hey, who are you? What are you doing here?
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Umm...my name's Francis.
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I'm doing a school project about Cardboard City.
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Do you have permission? Do you have a form?
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Umm, no.
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Where's the form? Let me see it. Give it to me. Give it to me.
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Tell me what you are doing. What are you doing?
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-Ummm... -Do you have permission?
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Where's the form? Let me see it.
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Who are you? What are you doing?
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Why are you here? What are you doing here?
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Do you have permission? Where's the form?
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Give it to me. Give it to me.
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Give it to me.
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What are you doing? Tell me what you are doing.
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Hey, who are you? What're you doing here?
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Where's the form?
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[ Music fades out, indistinct conversations ]
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[ Creaking ]
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[ Zapping ]
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[ Creaking, zapping stops ]
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[ Creaking, zapping continues ]
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[ Creaking, zapping stops ]
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[ Music continues, indistinct conversations ]
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So how many kids do you have?
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I hear bees have, like, a ton of kids.
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I don't know. I mean, listen.
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I go to a lot of parties.
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I can't -- I can't do that math, man.
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How often do you chill with them?
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I'm not even sure.
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I don't know if they're mine anymore.
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There's always some young ones running around.
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I'm like, well, that's too young to be mine.
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Cause I haven't touched her in five years at least.
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Have you ever gotten so pissed
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that you, like, freaking stung someone?
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My brother, Lewis, stung someone once.
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He did die shortly after, but it was because
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he got stabbed in the face with a knife.
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Whoa, that must have been, like, a tiny knife.
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Like, to stab, like, a freaking bee in the face?
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Let's not get wise now, okay?
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There are knives of all sizes.
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So, like, what do you think your reputation --
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[ Glugs ]
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Umm, what do you think your reputation --
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[ Glugs ]
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What do you think -- [ Glugs ]
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What do you -- [ Glugs ]
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What do you think your reputation is in Cardboard City?
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Like, do people think you're chill?
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[ Smash! ]
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My reputation's pretty big time.
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Okay, you must go out on a lot of dates, then.
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So, like, what's your favorite thing to do on a first date?
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Assassination.
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What? Fascination?
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No, assassination, like we get some guns and take somebody out.
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Kinda like a heavy question or whatever,
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but, like, when you die, like,
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I don't know, like, what do you want to be remembered for?
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As that cool dude who did all that cool stuff.
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But that's gonna be hard to do because...I'm bulletproof.
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Whoa, you're bulletproof?
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[Chuckles] That's cool.
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Like, talk about that. Like, I don't know.
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Like, how did that happen?
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Like, what's the story behind that?
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Like, are you, like, bionic or something,
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or, like, half-man, half-machine?
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I don't know, like...
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[ Gunshots ]
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[ Skillet screeching ]
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[ Screeching continues ]
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[ Gunshot ]
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Ummm, ow.
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[ Chuckles ] Why'd you do that?
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I like to stay active.
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What's your name?
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[ Horn blowing ]
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[ Crash! ]
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[ Wind rushing ]
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Cool name.
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♪♪
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Whoa, this place is sweet.
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So. you grow corndogs, but what do you like to eat?
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Corndogs...
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beer...
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some jerky...
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corndog jerky...
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corn.
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Mustard.
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[ Insects chirping ]
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Whoa, robots.
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What happens if I push this button?
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You will die.
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Cool.
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[ Slooooooop! ]
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What do you do to, like, chill before going to bed every night?
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Playing the guitar and a nice glass of wine.
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I don't sleep.
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Okay, what's your favorite word in, like,
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the English language or whatever?
168
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-Foo-pin-gyah. -Ocelot.
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I like the syllables.
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So do you think a hotdog is a sandwich?
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I don't have time for matters of the heart.
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Whew!
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♪♪
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Whoa, nice tub.
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♪♪
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You're a cool-looking guy.
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Um, who are you, like, dating right now?
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You wanna know who I've been on dates with lately?
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Benjamin Franklin.
180
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Oh, uhm, I think he's dead.
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You just leave the thinking to the rich people.
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[ Vocalizing ]
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[ Splat! ]
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Do you have, like, I don't know, like,
185
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a maid or, like, a butler or something?
186
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They've all disappointed me at one time or another.
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[ Vocalizing ]
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[ Splat! ]
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[ Vocalizes ] [ Splat! ]
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[ Groans softly ]
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[ Vocalizing ]
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[ Splat! ]
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Oh, God.
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They've all disappointed me at one time or another,
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and I don't think I have to tell you where that ends.
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-Where? -The bottom of a well.
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Do you get pleasure doing that kind of stuff,
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or does it just make you feel dirty?
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Hmmm.
200
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Dirty is pleasure.
201
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Since you're so rich, like,
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do you, like, give money to charity or whatever?
203
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What is charity?
204
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I don't know. They're, like, these groups
205
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and, like, you can, like, give money to them
206
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and, like, like, they help make --
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Wait, where are you going?
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This interview is over and boring.
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[ Splash! ]
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[ Chuckles ] Uhm, so, like, kind of a crazy question
211
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or whatever, but, like, have you ever eaten a person?
212
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I eat everything I can get my teeth on.
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Whoa, who was the last person you ate?
214
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I did not ask him his name. [ Sighs ]
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Okay. [Chuckles]
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If you could be any animal besides a shark,
217
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which would it be and why?
218
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A bigger shark.
219
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Can you, like, say more?
220
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No.
221
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[ Coin clatters, machine beeping ]
222
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[ Whirring ]
223
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[ Chuckles ] What's that?
224
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♪♪
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♪♪
226
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,000
Oh, for sure.
227
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♪ If you can wrap your tiny brain ♪
228
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♪ Around the world where fish talk ♪
229
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:02,000
♪ A squirrel plays drums, geometry is rich ♪
230
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:06,000
♪ And eyeballs walk ♪
231
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:12,000
♪ And you may have the chance for your mind to advance ♪
232
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♪ It's not rocket science, it's just television ♪
233
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♪ It's only a show, it's only a show ♪
234
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♪ Keep telling yourself it's only a show ♪
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♪ So free your mind and turn over your soul ♪
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♪♪
15997
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