Original subtitles

I'M DRUNK AS HELL I'LL BLOW YOUR ASS AWAY

LIKE RINGING A BELL FOOT'S TO THE FLOOR

AND THE WHISKEY'S FLOWING I GOT A PORN SHOOT

I GOTTA GET GOING YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND

HE DON'T GIVE A DAMN ♪ >> ♪ 12 OZ. MOUSE, 12 OZ. MOUSE

12 OZ. MOUSE, 12 OZ. MOUSE ♪ >> ♪ JET CAR'S ROLLING

ALL NIGHT LONG CRANKING UP THE JAMS

AND SINGING ALONG CAR'S FULL OF BITCHES

AND A BRAND-NEW BONG ♪ [CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY

TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP] [CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL

CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--]

[RUSTLING] >> NICE--NICE CAVE, MAN.

UH, WHAT IS THIS?

UH, A CAVE?

OH, IT IS A CAVE.

SO I GUESS WE'RE GOING INSIDE THIS CAVE.

DON'T YOU EVER SAY ANYTHING?

[HEARTBEAT] >> LOOK AT WHAT I CAN DO.

[HEARTBEAT] >> LOOK AT WHAT I CAN DO.

>> I DO THAT ALL THE TIME.

>> I DO THAT ALL THE TIME.

[CLICK] [GUNSHOT]

>> WHO'S YOUR MOTHER?

WHOO-HOO, THAT'S HOW YOU BREAK SOMEBODY OFF RIGHT THERE.

THAT SUCKER SURE CAN RUN!

DID YOU NAIL HIS ASS?

>> NO...

NO ONE OUTRUNS MY BULLETS, MAN.

THEY'RE...

FAST.

HA HA HA!

>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, MAN, BUT HE DONE

OUTRUN YOUR BUTT.

HE OUTRAN 'EM LIKE YESTERDAY, MAN.

>> LIKE, WHEW.

POW.

>> DAMN, DUDE!

>> COME ON, MAN.

LOOK AT THEM. THEY'RE FAST.

>> MAN, YOU SURE CAN SQUEEZE A TRIGGER, MAN.

>> DUDE, THAT IS A HAND.

THAT IS A FAST HAND.

>> NO WAY, MAN!

STEP OFF, MAN! STEP OFF!

>> STOP IT.

>> GET OFF ME.

GET OFF, GET OFF, GET OFF.

>> STAY STILL, DUDE.

>> NO, SHORTY!

>> YOU'RE ALL OVER THE PLACE.

>> YOU'RE GONNA BLOW MY DAMN HEAD OFF!

>> NO, I KNOW.

>> I AIN'T GOT NOTHING ELSE, MAN!

>> SO, DON'T STAY STILL.

MOVE AROUND 'CAUSE...

I GOT THIS.

>> NO, YOU DON'T.

YOU STRAIGHT-UP LYING.

THANK YOU, DOG.

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED.

SHORTY'S IN CONTROL RIGHT HERE.

AHH.

>> WHAT IS THAT?

>> IT'S A HAND.

>> NO WAY.

[THUD] I WONDER, UM...

WHOSE HAND IT COULD BE.

>> WHOA, MAN.

NOW THIS IS A NICE CHAIR.

THIS AIN'T NO NAUGAHYDE.

THIS IS A REAL LEATHER CHAIR.

[CRACKING] [PLAYING]

[CRACKING] [PLAYING]

MAN, WHAT THE HELL YOU PLAYING, MAN?

IS THAT OLD BOOGER HAZE?

>> AAH!

>> HEY, MAN.

DON'T GET PISSED.

I'M JUST SAYING.

IT SOUNDED REMOTELY LIKE BOOGER HAZE.

[PLAYING] [BUZZING]

[PLAYING] [BUZZING]

>> YOU KNOW, THIS TOWN REALLY PISSES ME OFF.

>> I KNOW.

IT PISSES ME OFF, TOO.

>> THERE'S NOT ONE PERSON HERE WHO WILL RACE ME, AND THAT IS

SURE TO PISS OFF A GUY WHO OWNS THE FASTEST CAR IN THE WEST...

OR THE EAST.

IT DOESN'T MATTER.

>> HONESTLY, NO ONE REALLY CARES ABOUT YOUR POOR LITTLE CAR.

IT'S ALSO SO BORING.

>> WELL...

[BEEPING] [EXPLOSION]

THEY BETTER START CARING...

[FASTER BEEPING] [EXPLOSIONS]

[STREAKING SOUND] 'CAUSE I CARE ABOUT IT A LOT.

YOU DIG?

>> OH, I DIG, AND I KNOW THAT YOU DIG WHAT YOU DIG, BUT I HOPE

HE DIGS WHAT YOU DIG.

HE IS WATCHING, YOU KNOW.

>> THEN WATCH ON, MY BROTHER.

WATCH AS THE BLACK SHARK TURNS IT ALL THE WAY UP.

[TICKING] >> SOMETHING'S TELLING ME THIS

[TICKING] >> SOMETHING'S TELLING ME THIS

HAND KNOWS MORE THAN IT'S TELLING ME.

THIS HAND IS UP TO SOMETHING.

IT KNOWS SOME STUFF, AND IT WON'T TELL US.

>> FOR REAL, MAN?

I THINK IT'S TRYING TO STRAIGHT-UP TRIP.

I THINK IT'S TRYING TO HAMBURGER ITS WAY INTO EATING US A HOT DOG

OR SOMETHING, HOMEY, 'CAUSE I HAD A HOT DOG IN MY DAY, MAN.

BOY, THEM FRANKS--WHOO!

>> MMM...

NO.

NOT THAT.

>> THAT'S THE HAND THAT CUT OFF MY LEG.

>> NO.

THAT'S THE HAND THAT CUT OFF MY LEG.

>> NO.

MY LEG.

>> NO.

MY LEG.

>> I HAVE AN IDEA THAT INVOLVES SKILLET AND I.

>> NO. MY LEG.

>> LEAVING.

>> NO. I'M SURE IT WAS MY-- >> WHAT DO YOU WANT US TO DO?

>> UM...

>> NO. MY LEG.

>> STUFF.

JUST DO SOME STUFF.

WE'LL BE BACK.

[THUD] >> AND WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

>> WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

WHERE HAVEN'T WE EVER BEEN?

[DOOR OPENS] [DOOR CLOSES]

>> YOU JUST LET HIM LEAVE LIKE THAT AND LEAVE US HERE WITH A

BROKEN HAND TO GET US KILLED?

NOW, HOW ARE YOU GONNA DO ME LIKE THAT?

MY HEAD HURTS.

EVERY TIME I DAMN TURN AROUND, I SEE AN EYEBALL OR HAND OR

SOMETHING ALWAYS GOING WRONG UP IN HERE.

WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING IN HERE?

I'M ALL TIRED, MAN!

I'M TIRED OF THIS SH--WHOO!

GET ME OFF!

AT MY HEAD.

>> YOU ARE SO MEAN WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK.

>> [MUFFLED VOICE] WHAT KIND OF CAR IS IT?

THAT'S A NEAT CAR.

WHERE'D YOU GET THIS CAR?

HOW MUCH DID THIS CAR COST?

HOW MUCH DID THIS CAR COST?

HOW MUCH DID IT COST, THE CAR?

IS THIS YOUR CAR 'CAUSE IT'S NEAT.

WHAT KIND OF CAR IS THIS?

THAT'S A NEAT CAR.

WHERE'D YOU GET THIS CAR?

HOW MUCH DID THIS CAR COST?

HOW MUCH DID THIS CAR COST?

HOW MUCH DID IT COST, THE CAR?

IS THIS YOUR CAR 'CAUSE IT'S NEAT.

WHAT KIND OF CAR IS THIS?

THAT'S A NEAT CAR.

WHERE'D YOU GET THIS CAR?

HOW MUCH DID THIS CAR COST?

>> OHH.

>> HOW MUCH DID IT COST?

WHAT KIND OF CAR IS THIS?

>> THAT BITCH KNOWS TOO MUCH.

>> HOW MUCH DID THIS CAR COST?

HOW MUCH DID IT COST, THE CAR?

IS THIS YOUR CAR 'CAUSE IT'S NEAT.

WHAT KIND OF CAR IS THIS?

>> GET IN.

>> WHAT SONG IS THIS?

DID YOU DOWNLOAD IT?

WHERE'D YOU GET IT?

WHERE'D YOU GET THIS SONG?

DID YOU BUY IT?

CAN YOU BURN IT FOR ME?

WILL YOU BURN ME THIS SONG?

WILL YOU BURN ME THIS SONG?

WHERE WE GOING?

I SAID WHAT SONG IS THIS?

WHAT SONG IS IT?

YOU'RE SINGING IT.

ARE WE THERE YET?

ARE WE THERE? ARE WE THERE?

>> [LOUD SQUEAKING] >> THIS WAS FREE.

SOMEHOW THIS WAS FREE.

>> [SQUEAKING] >> AND THE GAS IS FREE, TOO.

>> [SQUEAKING] >> THE GUY IN THERE TOLD ME.

>> [SQUEAKING] >> [REPEATING "I HAVE TO PEE"]

>> WHERE IS LITTLE MIGHTY MOUSE GOING?

>> OH, I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE'S GOING.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST PUT THIS LITTLE CAR--THIS POOR, BORING

LITTLE CAR--IN GEAR AND CHASE HIM?

>> IT'S IN THE GEAR.

IT ONLY HAS ONE.

>> I HAVE TO PEE.

I SAID I HAVE TO PEE.

>> OOH, WHAT HAPPENED?

I GUESS NOW YOU HAVE A MORE SERIOUS PROBLEM THAN HAVING TO

PEE.

>> THAT WASN'T NICE.

THAT WASN'T NICE.

THAT WASN'T NICE.

YOU CAN'T KILL ME.

>> HMM.

I GUESS ROOSTER IS STILL AT THAT PARTY.

>> [SQUEAKING] >> [ROARING]

>> YOU HEAR THAT?

SHH. LISTEN.

>> [BUZZING] >> LOAD UP.

[GUNFIRE] LET'S GET TO THE SHACK.

[GUNFIRE] LET'S GET TO THE SHACK.

>> [SQUEAKING] >> WHAT?

>> [SQUEAKING] >> THEY'RE, UH...

THEY'RE GONE.

THEY'RE NOT THERE ANYMORE.

OH, GEE.

>> [SQUEAKING] >> OH, GOOD FIND.

>> [SQUEAKING] >> OH, GOOD FIND.

NOW WHAT DO WE DO?

>> [SQUEAKING] >> HOLY GEE.

DAMN, ROOSTER.

[GROWLING] >> I KNOW YOU.

>> ♪ 12 OZ. MOUSE, 12 OZ. MOUSE 12 OZ. MOUSE, 12 OZ. MOUSE

12 OZ. MOUSE, 12 OZ. MOUSE 12 OZ. MOUSE, 12 OZ. MOUSE

12 OZ. MOUSE, 12 OZ. MOUSE 12 OZ. MOUSE, 12 OZ. MOUSE

12 OZ. MOUSE, 12 OZ. MOUSE 12 OZ. MOUSE ♪

>> YOU CAN'T KILL ME.