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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,878 --> 00:00:07,423 Do you realize we're getting married in four weeks? 2 00:00:07,590 --> 00:00:10,676 Four weeks, baby. Four weeks! 3 00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:13,595 You realize you get louder each week? 4 00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:18,142 There's still so much to do! Have you written your vows? 5 00:00:18,309 --> 00:00:22,896 I figured I'd just buy those. "Pat, I'd like to buy a vow." Ha, ha. 6 00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:27,026 You know I've no sense of humor when it comes to this. 7 00:00:28,486 --> 00:00:33,323 - Right. Have you written yours yet? - No, but I know what I'm gonna say. 8 00:00:34,325 --> 00:00:36,702 Do you happen to know what I'm gonna say? 9 00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:41,665 Let's do it now. It won't be hard. 10 00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:43,876 Say what's in your heart. 11 00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:54,303 Look at her go. She must love me more than I love her! 12 00:00:54,929 --> 00:00:59,099 What's wrong with me? Ooh, don't open that door. 13 00:01:40,141 --> 00:01:45,312 Phew. "Monica, there are no words..." 14 00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:51,276 There are no words! This shouldn't be this hard! 15 00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:56,365 Uh... Oh! You've done this before. What did you say in your vows? 16 00:01:56,533 --> 00:02:00,869 With Carol I promised never to love another woman until I die. 17 00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:02,996 She made no such promise. 18 00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:08,460 I'm pathetic. Monica knows what to say, you should have seen her. 19 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,965 What's the emergency? 20 00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:17,177 You have to help me write my vows. All I have is this. 21 00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:21,306 I like the pretty drawing of you in the wedding dress. 22 00:02:22,058 --> 00:02:26,353 - Thank you. - Except your breasts look small. 23 00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:29,523 Those are my eyes! 24 00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:35,070 - Those are my breasts. - Oh, yeah. 25 00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:39,658 Why don't you start with something simple? 26 00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,118 Like, um: 27 00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:46,540 "Monica, from the moment I met you I knew I loved you." 28 00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:48,500 I can't do that. 29 00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:51,211 Everyone, this is Chandler. 30 00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:53,505 Hi, I'm Ross' little sister. 31 00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:56,133 Okay. 32 00:02:58,094 --> 00:03:01,513 Okay, okay. Um, maybe you could start with: 33 00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:04,391 "Chandler, even though we were friends... 34 00:03:04,642 --> 00:03:08,145 ...there was a part of me that knew I wanted more." 35 00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:13,108 All right, there's a nuclear holocaust. I'm the last man on Earth. 36 00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:14,651 Would you go out with me? 37 00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:22,868 Ooh! Are we allowed to lie in the vows? 38 00:03:24,245 --> 00:03:28,749 Okay, don't talk about those feelings. Just say something about... 39 00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:31,877 ...all the things he's taught you, like... 40 00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:40,344 Or all the things you taught him. 41 00:03:41,262 --> 00:03:45,265 Everybody knows the erogenous zones. One, two, three... 42 00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:50,687 ...four, five, six and seven. 43 00:03:50,855 --> 00:03:52,689 There are seven? 44 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:58,946 - That's one? - Heh, heh. Kind of an important one. 45 00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:02,032 I was looking at it upside down. 46 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:07,496 Ha. You know, sometimes that helps. 47 00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:15,254 Okay, start out with a little one... 48 00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:18,298 ...a two, a one-two-three... 49 00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:22,719 ...a three, a five... 50 00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:26,431 ...a four, a three-two... 51 00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:28,809 ...two, a two-four-six. 52 00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:33,480 Two-four-six, four, two... 53 00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:36,316 ...two, four-seven... 54 00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:40,028 ...five-seven, six-seven... 55 00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:42,781 ...seven, seven... 56 00:04:43,032 --> 00:04:46,326 ...seven, seven, seven... 57 00:04:46,494 --> 00:04:47,953 ...seven! 58 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:49,997 Seven. 59 00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:58,755 Oh! I got it. How about something like: 60 00:04:58,923 --> 00:05:03,885 "Monica, when I look back over our time together..." 61 00:05:08,599 --> 00:05:10,517 - Yeah? - I can't do all of it. 62 00:05:10,768 --> 00:05:12,477 Look back over your time together. 63 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:17,524 Oh, look, twins! 64 00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:21,737 No fair! I don't even have one, how come they get two? 65 00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:24,656 - You'll get one. - Yeah, when? 66 00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:26,283 All right, I'll tell you what. 67 00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,869 When we're 40, if neither of us are married... 68 00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:33,874 ...what do you say we have one? - Why wouldn't I be married? 69 00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:37,210 Oh, no, no, no. I just meant hypothetically. 70 00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:40,464 Hypothetically, why won't I be married? 71 00:05:40,631 --> 00:05:41,757 No, no. 72 00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:45,552 What is it? Is there something unmarriable about me? 73 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,889 - Uh... Uh... - Well? 74 00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:52,392 Dear God, this parachute is a knapsack! 75 00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:56,146 I'm getting married today! 76 00:05:59,650 --> 00:06:01,360 Think he knew I was here? 77 00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:09,993 Nice try. 78 00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:11,995 Wait, wait, wait. 79 00:06:14,957 --> 00:06:16,166 - Look, Monica... - Ah! 80 00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:24,091 - This is not gonna work. - I bet this'll work. 81 00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:35,143 You are so great! I love you. 82 00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:46,279 What? 83 00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:50,283 I said you're so great, and then I stopped talking. 84 00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:55,580 - You said you love me! - No, I didn't. 85 00:06:57,458 --> 00:06:59,835 - Yes, you did. - No, I didn't! 86 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,463 - You love me! - No, I don't! 87 00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:05,424 Stop it! Stop it! 88 00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:13,723 You know, I was thinking, what if I, uh, unpack here? 89 00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:15,684 Then all your stuff would be here. 90 00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:19,354 Well... 91 00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:23,733 What if it was here? 92 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,487 Then you'd be going back and forth all the time. 93 00:07:28,072 --> 00:07:29,573 Doesn't make any sense. 94 00:07:30,074 --> 00:07:31,658 Okay. 95 00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:37,164 What if we live together, and you understand what I'm saying? 96 00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:48,717 We wanted to surprise you. 97 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,687 Oh, my God! 98 00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,778 Chandler... 99 00:08:09,947 --> 00:08:11,907 ...in all my life... 100 00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:15,452 ...I never thought I'd be so lucky... 101 00:08:18,956 --> 00:08:22,584 ...as to fall in love with my best... 102 00:08:24,086 --> 00:08:28,131 My best... There's a reason why girls don't do this! 103 00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:30,425 Okay, okay, okay! I'll do it. 104 00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:33,386 I thought... 105 00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:39,184 I can do this. 106 00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:44,648 I thought... 107 00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:50,070 ...that it mattered what I said or where I said it. 108 00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:55,909 Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you... 109 00:08:59,747 --> 00:09:04,251 You make me happier than I ever thought I could be. 110 00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,548 And if you let me... 111 00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:14,052 ...I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. 112 00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:24,604 Monica? 113 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,066 Will you marry me? 114 00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:31,987 Yes. 115 00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:47,586 Can we come in? We're dying out here! 116 00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:50,338 Come in! Come in! 117 00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,258 - We're engaged! - Yes! 118 00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,438 - Hey. - Hey. 119 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,189 - Hi. - What have you guys been up to? 120 00:10:08,357 --> 00:10:11,735 Uh, helping Chandler write his vows. He kicked us out. 121 00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:14,696 Joey kept making inappropriate suggestions. 122 00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:20,577 How is "Monica, I love your sweet ass" inappropriate? 123 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,080 How's Monica doing? 124 00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:28,168 Lucky she's got a sweet ass. She's not so good at writing. 125 00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:32,380 In four weeks they're gonna be married! 126 00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:34,758 Let's just hope it works. 127 00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:37,177 Nine out of 10 marriages end in divorce. 128 00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:39,596 Heh. That's not true. 129 00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:41,848 You're right. How's the missus? 130 00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:44,768 I can't believe... 131 00:10:44,935 --> 00:10:47,437 ...they're together 3 years. - That long? 132 00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:51,066 It seems like less because they hid it from us. 133 00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:54,778 Hey, it's me. Coming in. 134 00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:03,953 I've had a very long, hard day. 135 00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:08,208 - Uh, I'm getting chicken. Want some? - Uh, no. Bye, then. 136 00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:14,297 Are you okay? I'm so sorry. 137 00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:17,676 He wouldn't leave. He kept asking if I wanted chicken. 138 00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:19,219 Chicken? 139 00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:22,097 I could eat some chicken. 140 00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:25,016 Hey, Joe! 141 00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:31,147 Can I get a, uh, three-piece, uh, coleslaw, beans and a Coke? 142 00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:33,983 Diet Coke. 143 00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:42,325 - Why didn't they tell us? - I know, we were cool about it. 144 00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:45,453 You? And you? 145 00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,748 You cannot tell. No one knows. 146 00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:50,792 How? When? 147 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,586 - It happened in London. - In London? 148 00:11:56,507 --> 00:12:00,135 We didn't want to make a big deal out of it. 149 00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:02,554 But it is a big deal! 150 00:12:03,013 --> 00:12:05,473 - I have to tell someone. - No, no! 151 00:12:05,933 --> 00:12:07,976 - You can't. - Please! 152 00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:12,564 We don't want to deal with telling them. Just promise you won't tell. 153 00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:17,485 All right! 154 00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:20,196 I can't wait to be with you. 155 00:12:20,364 --> 00:12:22,490 I'll tell Rachel I'm doing laundry. 156 00:12:22,658 --> 00:12:25,702 Laundry, huh? Is that my new nickname? 157 00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:29,497 Aw. 158 00:12:30,374 --> 00:12:32,208 You know your nickname, Mr. Big... 159 00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:39,716 Oh, look, there's Monica and Chandler. Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey! 160 00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:52,604 Chandler and Monica! 161 00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,272 Oh, my God! 162 00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:57,400 - Aah! Chandler and Monica! - Oh, my God! 163 00:12:57,693 --> 00:13:01,279 - Oh, my eyes! My eyes! - Phoebe! Phoebe! 164 00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:05,158 - It's okay! It's okay! - No! They're doing it! 165 00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:06,576 I know! I know! 166 00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:08,077 - You know? - Yes! 167 00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:11,456 And Joey, but Ross doesn't, so stop screaming! 168 00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:13,082 Hey, what's going on? 169 00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:17,462 What? What? 170 00:13:17,713 --> 00:13:20,715 We're excited that you might get this place! 171 00:13:21,258 --> 00:13:24,636 - Actually, it looks really good. - It looks pretty good! 172 00:13:26,013 --> 00:13:27,430 Get in here! Come on! 173 00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:33,895 So they don't know that Rachel knows? 174 00:13:35,105 --> 00:13:38,066 Yes, but it doesn't matter who knows what. 175 00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:41,528 Enough of us know. We can just tell them we know. 176 00:13:41,695 --> 00:13:44,697 The lying and the secrets will be over. 177 00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:49,536 Or, we can not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own. 178 00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:53,414 We better go if we're gonna catch that movie. 179 00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:55,375 - Bye. - Bye. 180 00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:58,253 Bye, Chandler. I miss you already. 181 00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:06,427 Did you see the inappropriate pinching? 182 00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:07,762 Actually, I did. 183 00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:11,391 So now do you believe that she's attracted to me? 184 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:15,603 Oh, my God! My God, she knows about us! 185 00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:19,232 - Phoebe knows about us! - I didn't tell them. 186 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,318 Them? Who's them? 187 00:14:22,486 --> 00:14:26,114 Uh, Phoebe and Joey. 188 00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:29,200 Joey! 189 00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:30,827 And Rachel. 190 00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:34,038 They made me promise not to tell. 191 00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:37,667 They think they are so slick, messing with us! 192 00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:41,004 They don't know that we know that they know. 193 00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:44,340 - So... - Ah, yes! 194 00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:47,468 The messers become the messees! 195 00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:52,056 My God, he wants me to come over and feel his biceps! 196 00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:54,309 - Are you kidding? - No. 197 00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:57,061 I can't believe he'd do that to Mo... 198 00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:08,573 Joey? Do they know that we know? 199 00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:11,284 - No. - Joey! 200 00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:14,162 - They know you know. - Ugh! I knew it! 201 00:15:15,122 --> 00:15:17,248 I cannot believe those two! 202 00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:20,209 They thought that they could mess with us? With us? 203 00:15:23,547 --> 00:15:27,008 They don't know that we know they know we know. 204 00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,261 Joey, you can't say anything. 205 00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:32,388 Couldn't if I wanted to. 206 00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,100 This is totally getting out of hand. 207 00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:38,978 - She wants me to put lotion on her! - She's bluffing! 208 00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:42,106 She's not backing down. She went like this. 209 00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:47,403 He's not backing down. He went to get lotion. 210 00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:52,283 Oh, man. Aren't you guys done yet? 211 00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:57,080 The sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over. 212 00:15:57,247 --> 00:15:59,207 - Ooh, I like that. - Okay. 213 00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:04,295 Okay, show him your bra. He's afraid of bras. Can't work them. 214 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,222 Wow! You didn't rip off any buttons. 215 00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:16,057 It's not my first time. 216 00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:20,937 You go seduce her until she cracks. 217 00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:22,981 Okay, give me a second. 218 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,734 - Did you clean up in here? - Of course. 219 00:16:32,616 --> 00:16:33,866 Oh, you're, uh, going? 220 00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:36,327 Um, not without you, lover. 221 00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:44,544 So, this is my bra. 222 00:16:48,215 --> 00:16:50,299 It's very, very nice. 223 00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:55,013 Well, come here. 224 00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:57,890 I'm happy we're gonna have all the sex. 225 00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:02,895 You should be. Heh. I'm very bendy. 226 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:11,070 - I'm gonna kiss you. - Not if I kiss you first. 227 00:17:31,341 --> 00:17:34,260 There's nothing left for us to do but kiss. 228 00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:37,013 Here it comes. 229 00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:39,599 Our first kiss. 230 00:17:48,692 --> 00:17:52,028 - Okay, okay, okay, fine, you win! - Ha! 231 00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:54,030 - I can't have sex. - Why not? 232 00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:56,991 - I'm in love with Monica. - You're what? 233 00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:04,540 Love her! That's right, I love her! I love her! 234 00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:11,005 I love you, Monica. 235 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,133 I love you too, Chandler. 236 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,433 I thought you guys were doing it, I didn't know you were in love. 237 00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,647 That's it, it's over. Everybody knows. 238 00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:31,901 - Well, Ross doesn't. - We'd like it if no one told him yet. 239 00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:33,528 No. 240 00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:38,116 What are you doing? 241 00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:42,787 Get off my sister! 242 00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:47,333 Friends getting married, it's gotta change things. 243 00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:49,210 Think it'll be different? 244 00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:52,505 How can it not be? They're gonna have kids... 245 00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:56,092 ...and hang out with other couples who have kids. 246 00:18:56,343 --> 00:18:58,845 And maybe they'll leave the city... 247 00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:01,889 ...to be near a Volvo dealership. 248 00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:06,352 Things change. 249 00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:09,814 I don't want them to move to a Volvo dealership. 250 00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:13,442 It'll be okay, Joe. Heh. 251 00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:17,155 Sorry. I just... I like things the way they are. 252 00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:19,866 Who's this little naked guy? 253 00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:22,160 Uh, that naked guy would be me. 254 00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:25,454 - Ha, aw, look at the little thing. - Ha-ha-ha. 255 00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:27,123 Yes. 256 00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:32,712 Yes, fine, that is my penis. Can we be grownups now? 257 00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:36,799 - Who are those people? - Got me. 258 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,093 Oh, that's Nana right there. 259 00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:41,929 - Wow. - Let's see. 260 00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:44,807 "Me and the gang at Java Joe's." 261 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:48,561 Wow. Monica, you look like your grandma. How old was she? 262 00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:50,688 Let's see, 1939. 263 00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:52,982 Yeah, uh, 24, 25. 264 00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:56,110 Huh. Looks like a fun gang. 265 00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:04,785 Ooh! Look, look, look! I got Monica naked. 266 00:20:04,953 --> 00:20:05,995 Let me see. 267 00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:10,917 No, that would be me again. 268 00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:17,506 Hey, you guys. 269 00:20:17,674 --> 00:20:18,716 - Hey. - Hey. 270 00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:21,969 - What's going on? - Well, we were just talking about... 271 00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:25,431 ...you guys getting married and how great it is. 272 00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:29,685 Yeah, you can get a Volvo. If that's what you really want. 273 00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:32,355 - That's so sweet. - Hmm. 274 00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:37,485 - So, we both finished our vows. - Can we read them? 275 00:20:37,694 --> 00:20:40,655 As long as I don't hear his and he doesn't hear mine. 276 00:20:40,822 --> 00:20:42,573 - Okay. - Okay. 277 00:20:45,869 --> 00:20:47,245 - Aw. - Oh. 278 00:20:50,415 --> 00:20:52,416 Oh, that's beautiful. 279 00:20:53,835 --> 00:20:55,253 Funny one! Good! 280 00:20:57,464 --> 00:20:58,965 Will you marry me? 281 00:21:00,842 --> 00:21:03,719 - Ha-ha-ha. - What? I don't get it. 282 00:21:04,137 --> 00:21:05,179 Oh, yeah! 283 00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:11,060 - Man, this is hilarious! - Chandler! 284 00:21:12,312 --> 00:21:14,939 Don't worry, we'll make yours funnier. 285 00:21:22,906 --> 00:21:24,782 Okay, what do you think? 286 00:21:27,202 --> 00:21:31,789 - Dude... - I have never known love like this. 287 00:21:32,541 --> 00:21:35,084 - You really like it? - Dude! 288 00:21:36,503 --> 00:21:38,296 How did you write this? 289 00:21:38,463 --> 00:21:41,090 I stole Monica's and changed the name. Shh. 290 00:21:43,552 --> 00:21:46,095 - You can't do that! - If he goes first he can! 21325

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