All language subtitles for Jane.the.Virgin.S03E06.720p.WEB-DL.2CH.x265.HEVC-PSA

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
All right. Lots to catch up on

and not much time.
So, Jane, married to Michael,

friends with her baby daddy
Rafael,

and currently a little tense
with her abuela.

See, Alba hated her sister
Cecilia, and they hadn't spoken

in 40 years.
But then Jane got in touch

with her granddaughter,
who lived in London.

Hi!
Hi!

And, well, it drove
a wedge between them.

Oh, and Catalina decided
to make a surprise appearance!

Jane! Hi!

Oh, my God.
OMG indeed!

And speaking of,
Petra's twin sister Anezka

froze her and took her place.

But luckily Petra woke up,
and said this:

I am Anezka.

Of course,
Petra had ulterior motives.

Why did you protect me?

Because of the hotel shares.

They'd be void.
Rafael signed them to you as me.

So first, she made Anezka break
up with her true love, Scott.

And then, she set
her sights on Rafael.

I'm not walking away
from this hotel.

You are.

Why are you doing this?

I'm only going to say this once.
It wasn't me.

I know. Tough times, right?
And speaking of tough,

Rogelio was trying to break
into the American TV scene.

But there was a slight catch.

I will have to reveal my penis.

Oh. And Jane's mom Xo

also had a career revelation

and decided
to open a dance school.

And speaking of moms,
Rafael's was a crime lord.

And she was murdered.
And a clue in the Bible

led to a secret bank account

that the police
were trying to track.

I know. Moms, right?
They're a handful.

And on that note,
let's dive in.

As you all know,
Jane Gloriana Villanueva

grew up loved.

I got to run,
but Abuela's here.

If a bit lonely at times.

And if I'm being honest,

which I'm always being...

JANE:
Excellent tea.

Outstanding, really.

...if she had one wish as a
child, it was to have a sister.

So when Catalina Maria Mora
showed up out of the blue,

well, it didn't feel
like the bomb that it was.

It felt like
that wish come true.

What are you...

doing here?

The craziest thing:

I was heading back
from Venezuela

and I had
an unscheduled layover in Miami.

And I just met you, and I don't
know, it felt like a sign.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh, she's speaking
Jane's language.

I love that so much.

I left you two voice mails...
My battery's dead.

I figured, so I just came.
(laughter)

You must be sexy cop husband.

I don't know about sexy,
but, uh...

but cop is... true.

Ooh! Sexy and modest!

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Ooh!

She's a kisser!
Okay. Um...

No, come on in!
(laughter)

Oh! Lovely!

Welcome. We're moving.

Oh, fun, I love moving!

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Who loves moving?

Really?
Of course! It's a chance

to redecorate, reinvent...

(gasps)
Is that

a doggie door?
I love dogs!

You have a dog?

Um, we're discussing
getting a cat.

(chuckling):
They're preliminary discussions.

If you want a cat, get a cat!
What's there to discuss?

Well, Jane's more
of the planning type.

(grunts)
Ah.

Well, that's never
been my strong suit.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Clearly.
(inhales)

Okay, so. Full confession:

this visit isn't
totally unmotivated.

My abuela knows we connected
and wanted to see

if we could help
them fix things.

Oh. Um... my grandma
asked me to stay out of it.

But I want to hang out with you.

Please, stay here tonight.
Oh, no! I-I can't.

I don't want to impose,
you're moving.

Who cares?
We'll pull out sheets.

Right, Michael?
Oh. Yeah, why not?

(laughing):
Oh, great!

Um, the loo?

Hmm?

The bathroom.

Through there.
Thank you.

(quietly):
Are you sure about this?

Michael, come on.
She's my first cousin.

Well, actually,
not my first cousin.

Maybe my third? But still,

who cares?

A cousin. I have a cousin!

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Aw, looks like Jane is finally

getting that tea party
she always wanted.

(laughing):
So...

after Oxford, I met
this guy in a rock band

and followed him to Paris.

He was a nihilist
and a philistine

but gorgeous and,
ugh, so brilliant.

We broke up within days
but I decided to stay
and take culinary classes,

which is when I studied under
Ludo before living in Berlin.

Wow.

I've been
on an airplane four times.

(laughter)

I love that top, by the way.

(Jane moaning)
CATALINA:
Right?

Mm-hmm.
I am telling you,

this lady who owned
this brothel in Thailand

was a genius!

JANE: Mm!
(chuckles)

And they threatened to run away,
but my grandma chickened out,

so Alba convinced her to spend
the night in the barn.

(laughter)
JANE:
She's incredible, Michael.

Well traveled and artistic

and adventurous
and so funny.
Mm.

we were up all night.
Oh, I heard. When do you think

she's gonna be out of the
shower? 'Cause the movers are
gonna be here any minute.

I'm sure she's almost done.
(shower turns off)

So,

we were actually talking about
her staying for a few more days.

With us?

In our new place?

There's so much
to catch up on.

Wh... What?
What was that look?

(quietly): Well, don't you think
it's a little weird

that she shows up...
unannounced?

(clicks tongue)
Aw.

You've just been
around me too long.

Not everyone's a planner.
Her style's more...

spontaneous.
CATALINA:
Morning, morning!

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Apparently, her style

doesn't include wearing a bra.

Hey!
So,

we actually talked
about it, and...

please stay with us
for a few more days!
Yes!

Incredible, fun,
I'd love to!
(both laugh)

(giggling)

(whistling)

(explosion)

¶ ¶

And you don't have to meet her.
I know you don't want to.

I just wanted you
to know she's here.

Y...
(clears throat)

Thanks. You have to come
by the new place.

As soon as Cat leaves.

So, I should go to my meeting.
Hopefully,

I can get my T.A. job back.

The dean said no way
you're getting

your T.A. job back.

Apparently that bridge
has been burned.

(shrieking): No!
Wait, wait, this is a mistake!

To a crisp.
(shouting)

But I was at a party
the other night, and I ran

into Leslie Clark from
Silver Horizon Publishing.

Have you heard of them?

Romance with a slant towards
historical fiction,

won a RITA award for their
Dawn's Early Light trilogy

set in the War of 1812.

(laughing):
Yes. Yes.

Yes. I've heard of them.

Well, she's looking
for a new assistant.

Really?
W-What does that entail?

I have no idea.

It was a party.

I recommended you.

What?
Yeah. Here's her card.

Her current assistant's info
is on there.

Oh, my God! Thank you so much!

I'm gonna hug you,
okay? Just stand still.

(exclaims)
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
In a less huggy mood...

When I said I wanted you
out of the hotel,
it wasn't theoretical.

No, I have someone
lined up to rent out
your penthouse.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
As you'll recall, Petra Solano

was back from the dead
and on a rampage.

What?

It was a majority
shareholder decision.

Meaning my decision.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Hell, I'm scared of her!

Why are you doing this?
I just...

I don't understand.

Here's what I don't understand.

How you were married to me,
said you loved me,

then slept with my sister
and worked alongside her

for months without ever
realizing it wasn't me.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Yeah. I got nothing either,
buddy.

I'm sorry.
It's... all I can say.

But we have children together.
Yes, and that's unfortunate.

We'll have the nannies
coordinate.

End of next week,
I want you out.

ROGELIO:
I'm stunned.

Did you drop my name
at the bank?
Yeah, unfortunately,

it didn't translate
into a boost to my credit score.

Then I will loan you the money
to open your dance studio.

I thought you might offer,
but no.

You'll say you won't interfere,

but then you'll want a say.

Of course I'll want a say!

In fact, you should
want me to have a say.

I'm excellent at branding
and promotion.

Plus, I know a little something
about dance...

(scoffs)
I know you think you do.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
What's this?

Some kind of private joke?

Well. Come on, at least
show me the place

you're interested in renting.

Sorry. No. Sorry.

Sorry. Uh-uh. All right.

Hey!

I'm off carbs.
I need to slim down

for my big full frontal scene.

What about the crew?
The crew's naked body

is not gonna not be featured
in an indie feature!

Fine. They want you in makeup,

and here are
some script revisions.

Thank you, Rudy.
(chuckles)

ROGELIO:
What the hell?

This is a huge episode.
I finally see Ava

and realize she went through
the time portal after me.

It's a turning point
in the novela.

We had to...
And it's supposed to
happen in the episode

where I prevent
the third world war

by ending the Cuban
Missile Crisis.

The thing is, you...
And why does
the episode now

take place in Vernon J.
Herzing's house?

And who the hell is that?!

(dings)

I guess you made some sort
of deal with the studio?

All nudity
in television and film

is not permitted,
as it tarnishes our brand.

So, what are you saying?
I can't take the part?

You can do it. If you do
something for us in exchange.

We have a chance to do a product
integration and make some money

for the show and for the studio.

But the writers said no.

Well, allow me to overrule
the writers.

Okay, so I'll eat the cereal
during the Cuban Missile Crisis.

But HBO wasn't invented then.

The TV station?
The cereal.

Who cares?
No one will notice.

PETRA:
Enough!

Stop following me.
I-It's just...

now that you rethought
leaving, I thought

maybe you rethought us.

I didn't.
But...

what we had, uh... the things
we said to each other. What...?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Just a friendly reminder:

That wasn't Petra.
That was all Anezka.

My sister had a health crisis,

and I... I melted down.

And now that
she feels better,

well, I...

I feel different, too.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
I'll say.

So, let me

be unequivocal.

We are never, ever
getting back together.

Ever.

You don't have to throw
our song in my face!

JANE:
I'm so excited.

I could be working directly
with the publisher.

Getting to read galleys,

and observe the editing process
from start to finish.

Amazing!
That's amazing, babe!

I know. Uh, I...
(chuckles)

I am a little nervous
about the interview.

You know, Donaldson didn't have
any details on the job

so I can't do
my usual hard-core prepping.

Oh, you'll be fine.

(sighs)
I got a job as a sommelier
on a Greek island

one summer, and I knew
exactly zero about wine.

I totally faked it.

Dropped some buzz words
like "oaky" and "bouquet"

at the interview.
Really?

Truly. And this
is terrible wine.

I'm buying you
some wine.

Trust me. Everything
you need to know,

you can learn
on the job. Just...

lead with confidence.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Which brings us here, now...

Hi! I'm Jane!

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Confidence, not volume.

Sorry. I'm excited.

(chuckling): I'm Jane.
You must be Alice.

We spoke on the phone.
Yes. Hi.

It's good you're excited.

You should be; Leslie is great.

I'll let her know you're here.

(sighs)

And considering
Silver Horizon's slant

towards historical fiction,
I think it would be

a perfect fit for me.

And I'd work my butt off.
Well, Jane,

I really like your energy,

and you come with quite

a recommendation.
Marlene Donaldson?

She hates everybody.

It took me a while

but I finally wore her down.

We hug now.

Oh, come on.

Well, once,
but I might try it again.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Way to go, Jane,
you're crushing it.

And you know Spark Express,
of course?

Of course, yes, absolutely.

Great.

Um, could you help me
with this issue?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Uh-oh... now?

I can't seem
to delete this field.

Oh, yeah.

Sure.

Let's see.

This one?

Uh-huh.
Okay.

So, did you
try highlighting it?

Mm-hmm.

Uh-oh.

What's... what's wrong?
I-I...

I seem to have
deleted the file.

Uh, l-let me just undo it.

(scoffs)

Would you... just in case,
did you back it up?

No.

This is two hours of work.

Alice!

I thought you knew the software.

I meant I'd learn it.

ALICE:
What's going on?

We need I.T. in here.

I'm so sorry.

Just go.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Yup.

So, she really bombed that.

(whistling)

The publisher basically threw me
out of her office.

It was a disaster.
I'm sorry, babe.

At least now you know
to trust your instincts.

Oh, no, stop,
you can't give up.

You have the assistant's info,
work her a little.

You can recover.
JANE: I don't know.

This was a pretty epic fail.

Agree.
Just move on.

Don't be silly.

Once, I really
bungled things

while working
Fashion Week in Milan,

but since I was besties

with Zac Posen's assistant,

he got Zac to look
the other way.

Do you have
the assistant's number?

Alice?
Yeah.

Mm?

I can't send that.

Sure you can!

Come on.

Oh.

(phone whooshes)

CATALINA: Yeah!

(phone beeps)

Ah! A smiley face!

Yay! You're in.
(laughs)

CATALINA (laughing): Good.
JANE:
And it worked, Mom.

I mean, I've been texting
with her assistant all night.

She said she'd work her boss.

XIOMARA:
That's great, hon.

Uh, listen, I should go.

Okay.

Bye, Mom.

Come on.

Let's toast to our new apartment

with our, uh, bad wine.

(chuckles)

Do you ever wish

you traveled?

I mean...

I haven't really
thought about it much.

Me, neither.

Do you want to?

I don't know.

Maybe.

I mean, not now.

After grad school?

What about Mateo?

We would take him.

And my job?

I know, you're right.

It's not practical.

(sighs)

What?

Have we met?

Uh, I don't think so.

You're Petra Solano, right?

Yes.

You've been served.

What?

(whistling)

You're suing me
for sexual harassment?

You-You know that's not true.

Your word against mine.

Please keep away.
Are you...

What are you doing?
You've created

a hostile work environment.

I don't feel safe around you.

Now, is there

a work-related topic

you would like
to discuss?

Otherwise,
this conversation

is highly
inappropriate.

Did I blow your mind
or did I blow your mind?

It's beautiful, Rogelio,
but I already saw this online

and it's twice what
I want to spend,

which is why I want
the other one.

Ah, but you didn't factor
in the celebrity discount.

I told the owner
of the strip mall

I'd do a commercial
for his fro-yo place

and negotiated the
rent down to half price.

What?
I told you,
I'm a value add.

(gasps)
Are you serious?!

You know I'm always serious

about dance.

Oh, my God,

would you stop
it already?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Okay, I found out what

these private jokes are about.

So, for our first competition,

I think we should do

a high-octane,
"Rhythm Nation"-type routine.

Sweet!
That's tight.

No, no, no, no, no.

Just put me in the center

and have the girls freak up
against me.

To hide that you can't dance?

What?
(girls chuckle)

Please, we know you're
just here to meet girls.

Oh, I can dance.

Prove it.

Let's see you follow my moves.

¶ Let me see you
shake it, shake it ¶

¶ What? ¶

¶ I wanna see you
move your body ¶

¶ I want to get
the party started ¶

¶ Hey ¶

¶ Join in like go on, go on ¶

¶ Let me see you shake it,
shake it ¶
¶ What? ¶

¶ I wanna see you
move your body ¶

¶ I wanna get
the party started ¶
¶ Hey ¶

¶ Join in like go on, go on ¶

¶ Let me see you shake it,
shake it. ¶

(sighs)
It's perfect.

And, friends,

it felt too good to be true.

Which it was.

Let them just finish
signing the paperwork.

Congratulations.

It's all yours.

Thank you so much.

And that's when she saw him.

Oh, my God.
Yup. Bruce.

Oh, I'm sorry.

You don't know who Bruce is.

Well, listen up.

JANE:
Bruce is the worst!

His law office
is right by your studio?

Can you get out of your lease?

Stop. You're
being crazy.

I'm not!
He's the worst.

Why?
Well,

first, he was married,
and he didn't tell Mom.

Then,

she finds out,
and he keeps saying

that he's gonna leave his wife,
but he never does.

She keeps saying
that she's done,

over and over and over and over,

oh, and over and over.

Mmm.
I agree.

He's a jerk.
Now, go to work.

I got Mateo.
I'm just saying that

you don't need
to be around him.

Jane, enough. That was
a different time in my life.

I can't even imagine
being with Bruce now.

People move on.

¶ ¶

(gasps)
(laughs)

Hey. Am I early?

No. I just finished
my shift.

Great. Want to go out
for drinks?

Oh, I can't. Mateo and
Michael are waiting for us.

Oh. One?

We'll strategize
about your career.

Fine. One.
Yes.

And that's when...

Hi there.

Oh, hey. Uh, Rafael,

this is my
cousin Catalina.

Ah, this is Catalina.

And you must be
the baby daddy.

Officially-- but you
can call me Rafael.
(laughs)

Was that a spark between them?

Nah, I was just
reading into it, I'm sure.

Vodka soda, light
on the soda. Jane?

Um...
You know, I think I'll

join you guys for a drink.

So I told him you can't wear
Speedos in the dining room.

(laughing)
Ah, the "kooky guest
in the Speedo" story.

Jane's heard this one
about a hundred times.

So I gave in
and I threw him a robe.

(sputtering laugh)

(sighs):
So... we should head out.

Oh, no. We ordered
another round

when you went to the loo.
But, hey, you know,

if you need to run...

What's another drink?

So, I spent the summer crewing
on my friend Dorian's yacht

off the coast of Monaco...
Wait, wait. Dorian Moreau?

You know him?
Yes! He threw this

massive party in
the French Riviera,

like, five years ago.
Oh, my God, I was there!

You were there?
Yes!

No way!

(laughing)

(fake laughing)

So funny.

Small world.

Okay, we should
probably call an Uber,

go back to Michael and Mateo.

First dinner at the new place.
Wait.

You're going...
to their first dinner?

You are totally
third-wheeling it.

(gasps)
Oh, my God, am I?

I knew it.
No!

Yes!
No.

Absolutely you are.

Look, let them have
dinner alone, okay?

We stay here and eat, and
then you go back later.

Okay. Is that weird?

No.

No, it's not weird.

Oh. Okay, yes,
I should probably go.

Seeing as I said...

out loud that I was gonna go.

Don't you think
that's a little weird?

Don't you think
that's weird, Mateo?

That you came home drunk
at 7:00 p.m.? Yes.

That he's, like... hitting
on her in front of me.

I mean, not really.
She's definitely his type.
What does that mean?

Hot.

Like you.

You think she's hot?
I think you're hot.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Turn it around, man.

Why you acting all jealous?
I'm not jealous.

You love her,
you think she's great,

so what if he does, too?

If he does, too,
that's great.

Great!
Great!

Which brings us here, now.

Hey. Did you
have fun last night?

I didn't hear you
come in.

Oh, good. Good.

I was trying to be quiet.
It was so late.

Rafael kept saying we should
give you guys privacy.

Next I know,
we're sloshed

and eating shrimp tacos,
and suddenly I felt all dodgy

being out with your baby's
father, so I came home.

Was it dodgy?

No, it's not dodgy at all.

I mean, with three kids,

it's not like Raf
gets out much.

Brilliant! I'm friends
with my exes, too.
Mm.

So, I need your help.

Excuse me?

Scott is apparently suing me.

(chuckles) For sexual
harassment, of all things.

What?
Yes, and...

I want it over.
(sighs)

Can I tell my legal team
you'll back me up?

In exchange, you can...

remain in the penthouse.

Well, in exchange,
I want my shares back.

Paying him off will be cheaper.

You okay?

I'm hoping I will be.

Uh, anyways...

I had so much fun
with Catalina last night.

I mean, she is incredible.

Oh, yeah, she's cool.

I was actually thinking about
asking her out again.

Really?

I mean...

she's only here
for a few more days.

Do you really want
to start something

with someone
who's leaving?

I don't know, I really thought
there was a spark between us.

She didn't mention
anything, so...

Really?

Mm.

Jane, if you feel uncomfortable

with me dating your cousin,
I won't do it.

No, I hadn't really
thought about it.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Yeah, right. Sorry.

But since you asked,
I guess I am.

So I shouldn't ask her out?

Yeah, I-I think
I'd rather you didn't.

ROGELIO:
I am aggravated!

You're hungry.
No, I just ate

nine pieces of celery
and a saltine.

Unrelated to that,
I'm aggravated

because we should hire
someone to paint.

We can do it ourselves.

But it's going
to take forever.

Less talking and more prepping.

I have an idea on how
to solve our disagreement.

Though you might be
too scared.

Scared of what?

Standard rules apply.

You copy my move,
I copy your move.

Stop stalling.

You're the one who's stalling.

Hmm.
(dance music playing)

¶ Let me see you shake it,
shake it ¶
¶ What? ¶

¶ I wanna see you move
your body ¶

¶ I wanna get
the party started ¶
¶ Hey ¶

¶ Join in like go on, go on ¶

¶ Let me see you shake it,
shake it ¶

¶ What? ¶
¶ I wanna see you
move your body ¶

¶ I wanna get
the party started ¶

¶ Hey ¶
¶ Join in like go on, go on... ¶

Oh! Aah!

Ha-ha!
That's right!

(Xiomara laughing)

Rogelio, are you okay?

I think I pulled
something.

(laughter)

I have a confession
to make.

The truth is,
I didn't sign up

for our high school
dance troupe

to meet girls.

I signed up for our
high school dance troupe

to meet a girl.

I-I'm sorry I've been
so grumpy today.

It's just,
seeing Bruce around

is just really throwing me.

Because you still have
feelings for him?

No!
The opposite.

He messed with
my life for so long...

I never really got
the chance to tell him off.

You still can.

You don't have to sulk.
I'm not.

But I didn't have to
ask you if I could date her.

But you did.
And I said no.

JANE: Hi, honey.
Mwah.

Raf was just leaving.
Oh, okay.

How have you been?
Better before Jane

shut down my
dating life.

(chuckles):
What are you talking about?
Nothing.

You didn't tell him?
Are you serious?

Tell him what?
She asked me not
to date Catalina.

(whistling)

You told him he couldn't
date her?
I just think it's inappropriate.

How is it inappropriate?

There are three billion
women in this world!

Okay, you know what?
Whatever. Go ahead.

And if it doesn't work
out, who knows,

maybe you could hook up with
one of my other cousins.

Oh, or maybe a sexy great aunt!

Yeah, I think
I'm gonna head out.

Hi, baby.

Who's that? Oh...
(door opens, shuts)

I knew you were jealous.
I'm not jealous.

I just... What if
it doesn't work out?

They're adults.

I'll be in the middle of it.
We share a child!

I don't want that
to get complicated

because of some fling
with a cousin I just met

and I really like!

So this isn't about your
romantic history with Rafael?

No.
Then why didn't you
tell me he asked?

Because...you get
so sensitive about it.

I'm sensitive?

(sighs)

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Yeah,

things can be tricky
with exes.

Xo...
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR
Which brings us here...

now.

Hey, Bruce.

(chuckles):
What are you doing here?

I actually rented the place
across the way,

and I saw you.
You moved offices?

Last year, after my divorce.

Oh, no. He's divorced!

Oh.

Stay strong, Xo.

Look...

since we'll be
seeing each other around,

I just wanted to say something.

You were such a douche bag.

And speaking of douche bags...
I've thought

a lot about this.

And, look, for
everyone's sake,

I just want this to all
go away. My lawyers and I

were able to come up
with a number

to settle out of court.

It's not about the money.

It's about the fact
that you obviously used me.

I didn't...
Liar.

And I'm gonna make you pay.

I have a burn book, remember?

I know a lot about you.

Your real name...

the fact that you were married
to an arms dealer...

Oh. And, um...

(whispering inaudibly)

XIOMARA:
It's over.

I said everything that
I have to say to Bruce, and...

he got it.

(laughs):
And I have to say, I feel great.

That's wonderful, Xiomara.

Yeah. So thank you

for encouraging me to do that.

Of course.

And can I just say... I love

our friendship.

I-I love the place
that we've gotten to.

Me, too.

Good-bye, Xiomara.

¶ ¶

This doesn't make any sense!

Tiago sees Ava

kissing another guy, and
he turns and walks away?!

Rogelio, can we just discuss
this in your dressing room?

No! We're gonna
discuss it here!

My blood sugars
are extremely low,

and I cannot find the truth

in this ridiculous
scene. Tiago,

he has been looking for Ava
through time and space,

and when he finally sees her,
she is kissing another man!

And he walks away

and doesn't tell her
how he feels?!

It just doesn't make any sense!

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Which part?
He'd tell her.

Oh, see, that part I bought.

I have to agree.
Should we go back

to the Vernon Herzing story?
Every one at the Honey Bunch

loved that storyline.

Uh-oh. Rogelio's
in honey bunches of trouble.

XIOMARA:
So, how'd you leave it?

Well, Michael's still mad at me,
I'm still mad at Rafael,

Rafael's probably

still mad at me.

And how about Catalina?

She's steering clear,
I think.

Can you blame her?

Anyway, don't
bring it up at dinner.

Abuela,

you look so nice!

That's her fourth
wardrobe change.

She spent three hours
making arepas.

(knocking)
(gasps) That's her.

(laughs):
Alba, hi!

I brought
my world-famous arepas.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Rival arepas!

And unsecured tatas!

This is going to be a long...

(laughter)

Oh, wow. Look at that.

I was totally wrong.

But they had
to sneak out of the house

to practice, right?

Their father did not
approve of dancing.

She said he was
very strict.

Ah?
Yeah!

And that night,

Alba won the town
dance contest.

Fair and square.
But she was
Oh.

disqualified because her skirt
was two inches too short.

Abuela!
Mommy?

CATALINA:
Oh, it was

quite the scandal.
And that was

the first night you met Mateo.

Mm-hmm.

Mm. My grandma was devastated.

(groans) And she was
so sorry about

what she did after.
Devastated?

Why was she devastated?

Well, because she'd been in love
with him first, right?

And you sort of
stole him away?

I'm so sorry.

That's what
my abuela told me.

Abuela.
Mom.

(whistling)

I can't believe
how I bungled that.

And we were
getting along.

Well, she'll...
get over it.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Are we
talking about the same abuela?

Maybe.

I didn't even think
it was controversial.

I thought that
was the story.

Really?
Yeah, of course.

That's what everyone thinks.

(phone buzzes)

Skinny Bloody Maria.

Extra celery, please.

Ah, yes. The new friendship.

Hey, can I ask you
a question?

Sure.

Do you think it's weird that
I want to date Jane's cousin?

Well, it depends.
How much do you like her?

Well, a...

a lot, actually.

I mean, I really felt,
like, a... like a spark.

Which is rare.

So rare. Uh-huh.

People spend a lot of
time searching for that,

and if that spark turns
into a forest fire of love

for someone...

someone you could envision

spending the rest
of your life with...

No, we-we just met, you know.

It's a little early for that.
I barely know her.

A person you somehow keep
finding your way back to,

after years and years apart--
well, hell, that's...

that's even rarer, no?

Are we still talking
about Catalina?

So what... if Xo
and I have this

obstacle?
I'm obviously

still in love with her, and
the kid's a big hypothetical.

She's here, and she's real.

I should tell her
how I'm feeling.

Rafael, this was
a great talk.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And, friends,

Rogelio had played this scene
a thousand times

in telenovelas.

The hero racing to
profess his love for...

uh-oh.

(door opens)

You have a fix for the script?

Hmm.

Yes.

There has to be a reason
why Tiago doesn't speak up

when he sees them kissing.

Something emotional

that haunts him from his past.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: The fact
that he didn't raise Jane.

ROGELIO: The fact that he didn't
stop the Hiroshima bomb

last time, because
he and Ava were making love.

Go on.
So, yes,

he loves her.

But he's also
reminded that he...

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Wants another child.

...wants to stop
the Bay of Pigs.

So, when he sees
her kissing that troll,

he takes it as a sign.

To stick to his initial mission.

I like it. Yeah,

I'll jump back into the script

and make
those changes.

(door opens)

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Also jumping back in...

DENNIS:
Hey-hey,

you're looking better.

Oh, let's hope
the doctor agrees with you.

I just had my physical.

Anything new on the case?

Just that you were right.

The numbers in Mutter's Bible...

belong to a bank account.

But they don't know
whose bank account?

Not yet.
They're working on it.

So what's the...
Look, I really...

(clicks tongue)
Go on.

Just that I'm sorry.

I left a message
for Rafael,

and I told him I'm fine
with him dating Catalina.

(phone chimes)

What?
Oh,

Alice just invited me to
join the assistants' group

for happy hour.

Well, as Cat would say,
"Jolly good!

Let's definitely go."

Stop. Okay, w-we
don't have to.

Y-Yes, we do.

Because I'm not gonna be

the stick in the mud

that ruins this
opportunity for you.

We're doing this.

I'll do it.

I'll give you
your shares back

if you lie about Scott.

If I agree to do this,

no more blackmail,

no more threats.

We are even.

Equal partners again.

Equal partners.

I am prepared to say
that you harassed her.

Which makes it your word
against ours.

And we will drag your
name through the mud

and sue you into oblivion.

You'll end up broke
and humiliated

with no hope and zero
prospects for the future.

Or...

you can give up this
ridiculous lawsuit,

and we can all move on.

I don't know why you
won't just move on.

Because you won't admit
you were jealous.

JANE:
Fine.

I'm jealous.

But you want to know what?

It's not even about him.

It's about her.

Catalina makes me feel
a little boring, okay?

She lives this

exciting and
glamorous life.

And...

she isn't afraid to
break the rules.

I know.

What?

That's exactly
what I was afraid of.

She's making you
not like your life.

Suddenly you feel like

you're married
to some boring guy

and we're just
married boring people.

Well, guess what.

I'm not boring!

I didn't say you were.

Michael...

What are you doing?

Where are you go...?
Michael, stop.

¶ ¶

Jane.

Hi! You're here.
Alice. Hi.

Let me introduce
you to everyone.

MICHAEL:
Everyone.

Can I have your attention?

So bear with me.

I have to prove to my
wife that I'm not boring.

Oh, my God.
MICHAEL: Here we go.

¶ Oh, yeah, yeah ¶

¶ Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ¶

¶ Ooh ¶

¶ Never had much faith in love ¶

¶ Or miracles ¶

¶ Ooh ¶

¶ Never want to put my heart ¶

¶ On the li-i-i-ine,
yeah, yeah ¶

¶ 'Cause your sex
takes me to paradise ¶

Why is that weirdo staring
at you and singing about sex?

'Cause he's my weirdo.

I'll be right back.

¶ Ooh ¶

¶ Yeah, your sex
takes me to paradise ¶

¶ And it sho-o-o-ows ¶

¶ Yeah, yeah, yeah ¶

¶ 'Cause you make me feel like ¶

¶ I've been locked out
of heaven ¶

¶ For too lo-o-o-ong ¶
(laughing)

¶ For too lo-o-o-ong ¶

¶ And you make me feel like... ¶

Screw boring, we
are not boring!

Oh, we're young,
we're fun!

Yes.
(phone buzzes)
Oh.

Ha! It's Alice.
What?

Oh! They loved us!

They want us to go back.
Should we go back?
No.

You wanted Alice to
think you're awesome.

She thinks you're awesome.

You got to leave them
wanting more.

That's how we roll.
We go in there,

we drop some fun
bombs... Boom!

And we're out.

I did have fun tonight.

And for the record,

I don't want
to be young and crazy

with anyone else but you.

Me neither.

It's still pretty early.

What other fun, spontaneous,
crazy things should we do?

We got a cat!

(gasps)
MICHAEL: Introducing

Faith M. Whiskers III.

We didn't even debate
about it, we just did it!

Wow, you guys are wild.

I know!
We really are.

(laughing):
Uh, so...

Listen.

Rafael actually mentioned

that he wanted to hang out.

Really?

Truly.
You should do it.

I mean, he's home;
I know he would love to see you.

I guess I should hop
in the shower, then.
Do it!

Definitely.

Nice work.

(laughs)

You think Faith M. Whiskers III

has ever seen two boring
married people have sex?

Michael, ew.

(laughing):
I don't want
her watching us.

Get out of here, Faith.
(cat meows)

(knocking on door)

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
I bet I know who that is.

Meow, indeed.

Oh.
Not who I expected.

I told you
it would work.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Let me explain.

We are never, ever
getting back together.

Ever.

You don't have to throw our song
in my face.

So... who I was with...
it was really Anezka?

Yeah, but there's
no way to prove it.

And...

you'll be getting that
bonus, as discussed.

Oh, I didn't do it
for the money.

No, though it's a
pretty nice number.

No, I did it for the favor.

It's good to have
a guy like you owe me.

DIRECTOR:
We just owe this last shot.

And action!

¶ ¶

DIRECTOR:
Cut! Perfect.

That's a wrap.

That was fantastic!

Everybody at
the Honey Bunch is excited.

Terrific! I'm excited, too.

Last night, I had
a moment of clarity.

I want to have more children.

That's my mission.

And I'm going
to make it happen.

Would you be interested
by any chance?

¶ ¶

(laughing):
I'm just kidding!

I love the cereal,
but I need eggs.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Speaking of sexy come-ons...

(knocking on door)
Okay, I'm pretty sure

I'm right this time.

I was glad you called.

¶ ¶

(moaning)

ROGELIO:
And bang!

I nailed it on
the very first take.

Now, everybody, please
try this cereal.

It's everything.
So...

Have there been any more
Bruce sightings?

Nope, not since I, uh,
told him off.

JANE: Wow.

So the spell is finally broken.

It is.

No, Abuela...

It's okay.

I believe you.

Me, neither.

So, can we end this?

Okay.

(sighs)

(Alba sighs)

(sighs)

ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA
www.PSArips.com

So how about

I go get us
something to eat

and then we do that a
few thousand more times?

Sounds perfect.

You are trouble,
aren't you...?

(laughs)
I guess you'll have
to wait and see.