All language subtitles for Jonathan.Creek.S01E04.576p.00.59.07

Reading Rock Festival 1979 is
deliriously thrilled to welcome

the holy trinity of Edwin Droodl

On electric fiddle, the
legendary Roy Pilgriml

- Are you sure you know where you're going?
- I'll be fine.

Morning. Is there a
problem? What's happened?

Do you know Mr Pilgrim?
We're getting no reply.

I'm his fiancée. He should be
in. He's expecting me at nine.

What's this all about?

Roy?

Roy?

In here!

What the hell's happened to you?

Got a crack on the back of the head. Thought
they'd gone. One caught me from behind.

They rifled the safe and
then cuffed me to this thing,

so I couldn't raise the alarm.

I think you'll need a hacksaw.

Before we go into this,
there is another matter

concerning a...

What kind of sick games
have you been playing?!

How many of you saw this girl?

We all did, sir.

Where is she? Her mother's
worried out of her mind.

Who?

The pretty little thing you
invited for tea and crumpets!

Don't pull that innocent routine!
Why do you think the police are here?

Francine, I haven't a clue...

Mr Pilgrim, can you tell us where you
were at four o'clock yesterday afternoon?

Is this a joke?

I haven't moved from here in 20 hours!

I'm not Harry Houdini! Is
someone trying to be funny?

Nothing funny about a
missing person, Mr Pilgrim.

We know she left home yesterday
morning for this address.

It appears she was seen by six eye-witnesses
entering your house through this door

at 4.00, as the school bus was arriving.

- Someone's putting you on.
- Mr Pilgrim, a straight answer, please!

Did you let a 16-year-old girl named
Tracy Cook into this house yesterday?

I don't know what you're playing
at, but let's lay it to rest now.

I've been sat here staring at these
four walls since midday yesterday

till the moment you arrived.

And, on my granny's grave, no one has
come in through those French windows.

OK, so, if your friend in the back
could stick an old sock in it this time,

perhaps we can get this one alone to
give the illusion that we have a brain!

OK... go.

"At the post box, look fore and aft to see
the sea. What year does it appear to be?"

- Fore and aft...
- It's in front of us and behind us.

- To see the sea...
- Tough one.

To see the sea, what year does
it appear to be? Fore and aft...

There's the sea on this pub sign.

What year does it appear to be?

The building's Jacobean.
What's that? Early 17th century?

Too vague. Anyway, it's
sideways on, so it doesn't work.

Um... what seas are there, then?

- Red Sea...
- Black Sea...

- Black Sea... Dead Sea...
- Irish Sea...

- What year does it
appear... ... To be?

All right, what's the answer?

1983.

Why?!

You see that old Vauxhall back there?

How do you look forwards and
backwards at it at the same time?

Oh-h!

A reg
- 1983.

Well, how do they expect anybody in
the whole wide world to get that?!

Another miracle! And, see,
it was all done with mirrors!

Greg, if you're planning to open your legs
any wider, let me know, I'll get out the car.

Hello?

Yes. We've just done
clue 24, I'm afraid.

Yes, I know, it's desperately boring.

Thanks to Abracadabra here,
we'll be finished by half past.

OK, see you in the pub. Bye, babe.

I've got a bum bandit on my
tail. Pull back, you little...!

STUPID, BIRD-HEADED BITCH!

If she calls me Abracadabra once more,
I may go berserk with that emery board,

file down her face till
it resembles an egg.

It's just Sheena's way. I
think she quite likes you.

I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed
sharing the back with Mr Biceps,

who expands like a
gas to fill any space.

I felt his thigh pulse
through my trousers!

Will you make the effort?
She is my best friend!

So that's what you do? Sit at home
all day and think up conjuring tricks?

- How amazingly pointless!
- Thank you.

What's the deal between you and Maddy?

I mean, is it like
serious passion time here?

How far into your world
is she allowed to go?

I mean, have you shown
her your magic wand yet?

Wedding? I

You've got some nerve,
Ron! This is not real!

Hello, lover's tiff?

Thanks, treasure.

That's the cow that carved me up!

Got other things on her mind, obviously.

OK, you want me to
believe you've changed?

You'll never change, Roy!

I'm condemned before I
start?! I don't get a chance?!

Six eye-witnesses watched
her walk into your house!

It's a conspiracy! They were bought off!

Six schoolboys, Roy?!

Francine, I never touched
her! I never saw her!

For God's sake, just leave!
Don't contaminate my life!

He still loves her, you see?

Probably just wants the money back.

- Are you all blind?!
- What's your problem?

Can't you see who that is? That guy?

Who?

Who?! That is Roy Pilgrim!

You are KIDDING me!

- No!
- Who's Roy Pilgrim?

Roy Pilgrim!

Edwin Drood?

You probably liked them, did you?

They were in the vanguard of
progressive rock through the 70s and 80s!

- They made some seminal stuff!
- That's a polite way of saying it.

I suppose you liked Percy Sledge?

- Ah, now you're talking!
- Yes, Percy!

- We loved Percy.
- We loved Percy!

We loved him, but not quite
as much as we loved Otis!

I know, I've just seen it.

Kids'll tell you anything to be part of
the story. I don't know what they saw.

Appearances can be deceptive.

Yes. Despite the appearance of something in
your trousers, you haven't a leg to stand on.

You haven't got a case. You've taken
my house to pieces and scored zero.

Mr Pilgrim, you...

Are you any good with these?

You say you never left the
room from about midday onwards?

Sure, plumbed into the heating system!

You don't think you could
have passed out again?

Fallen asleep?

Thanks.

I didn't pass out. I was
awake until it got dark.

I knew I was stuck there till
Francine arrived, so I used the time.

I wrote three songs to
get my mind off my bladderl

And at 4.00?

3.00-4.00, I listened to Classic
FM, so that fixes the time.

At 4.00, they went into
Vivaldi, so I switched it off.

I'm staring right at the window
where she's supposed to have come in.

Did you write to this girl inviting
her to come and meet you on Monday?

- Why would I do that?
- She was young, attractive.

She'd sent you photos.

You're sick and what you
are suggesting is sick.

And what am I suggesting, Mr Pilgrim?

That Tracy Cook found her hero wanted
to give her more than an autograph?

That it all got very nasty

in ways I don't like to think about.

Afterwards, to give yourself an alibi,
you cooked up the burglars and radiators!

Like I told your colleague
before you arrived,

the only thing that come in through
those French windows was a frog.

- If I...
- What do you mean?

Er... little green
frog with a red belly.

What do you mean, "Told our colleague"?

I...

...never said I was the police.

I just said I'd like
help with my enquiries.

You're not his legal advisor?

Legal advisor?

Hi?

In here. I'm cooking.

What's the matter with you?

I was just reminded of that
quote by Robert Oppenheimer,

"I am become Death, the
destroyer of worlds. "

I overdid the croutons slightly.

It's like Gandhi's funeral pyre in here!

Yes. Now you've put
the gas out, thank you

I was getting on fine till you arrived!

This lightness of touch you have
in the kitchen is a joy to behold

So, tell me about Pilgrim.
Is he capable of murder?

I've heard him sing, obviously.

I don't get it. Six witnesses
all saw her go in at four o'clock.

Now, if that's right,
he hasn't got a prayer.

Yet he swears blind he was in the room all
afternoon fully conscious and saw no one.

He's either very stupid or very devious.

- Or neither.
- What do you mean?

Maybe he's saying it because it's true.

Is that supposed to be doing that?

Two more minutes.
What do you mean, true?

A girl can't vanish into thin air while
walking through a pair of French...

Do you know, I never know when you're
winding me up. That's the trouble.

Do you want to pick us
out a bottle of something?

Any particular one?

What's this?

Oh, petrol.

Petrol?!

I can't leave it in the
car. Things get nicked!

I'll put it in the hall, shall I?

By the canisters of napalm

So this is the guy, Jacob Flowers,
who stuck the note under my wiper?

What's his connection with Pilgrim?

Heard of a cult called
the Creed of Eden?

No.

They're into some kind
of eco-religious thing.

The world is God's
garden, all life is sacred.

It's easier for a rich man to
enter a camel if he stands on a box.

This character is their grand
prophet and founding father.

- If you know your history of rock...
- Intimately.

You'll know it was on Edwin Drood's
tour of the States in July '87

that Roy Pilgrim became
a disciple of the order,

leading to the break-up of the group

and some deadly solo albums
about rainforests and dolphins.

So, Flowers will stick up for
Pilgrim because they're buddies,

or maybe he knows something
about this that we don't.

Don't scrape that off! It's meant to be
that colour, it's Cajun! Blackened catfish.

Looks more like halibut to me.

Blackened halibut,
then. I had to improvise.

Can we have less
pedanticism and just eat.

The word is pedantry.

No, Mr Danziger, a
trifle baffling won't do!

A trifle baffling doesn't get near it!

My fiancée's dumped me, I'm looking
at charges of abduction or murder,

all because I wasn't
smart enough to lie!

They can put the cast of
"Goodbye, Mr Chips" on the stand,

but it doesn't change what I saw!

If you're any kind of
lawyer, you'd better...

Look, I'll call you back.

That's the one. You could
hardly miss her from here.

So... when she pressed this bell,

someone...

must have let her in.

- What are you doing?
- You need to check it out.

- I can't go in there!
- Why not?

Roy Pilgrim!

I can't meet Roy Pilg...

You're talking about mythology!

You reduce someone to flesh and blood, the
whole thing's destroyed. The whole icon!

Jonathan, you're beginning
to sound like a prat.

Sorry.

What does it take to make you go away?

I'm sorry about yesterday, but I'm
interested in helping you, actually.

If you'll just take
a minute to let us in.

What are you?

Right now, Mr Pilgrim? We're
the only hope you've got.

The white room. I'm
standing in the white room!

The white room!

Yes, it's... certainly
white, all right, no question.

The white room is like a...
chamber of contemplation.

It's where I centre creatively.

And the actual Bandawi bush cats!

Utterly amazing!

Hand-carved speaker cabinets presented by
the Gambian percussionist Joshua Bandawi

- in... what year where you there?
- 1973.

I think you'll find it was '76.

Because "Tribal Jam" didn't
hit the charts until early '77.

We were in Zaire in '76.

No. You were deported
from Zaire in May '75.

After Martin Crow rode into the
president's jacuzzi on a wildebeest.

Mad as a light bulb!

Yeah. Er... I don't suppose you
see much of the others now, do you,

since the old firm split up?

The band was always riven
by petty factionalism.

I lived with them for 15 years.

That's 15 years too long.

And then came the Creed of Eden.
That's been quite a crusade for you.

I try to follow my conscience.

Jacob Flowers seems to be on your side.

He left a note on my windscreen.

They have a commune about 20 minutes away
- Hog's Belly Farm.

I've been a kind of... patron for them.

I guess he's as rattled about
this as I am. Is that one o'clock?

I've got to record "The Waltons".

"The Waltons"?

I'll be two seconds.

So...

Have you found something clever?

The gateway to a parallel dimension?

"The Waltons"?!

Jonathan!

- The French windows.
- What?

What do you want me to say? They're French
windows that people walk in and out of!

The blinds are Venetian blinds
and the floor is just a...

What?

No, it's just the way these
figures are slightly faded.

You see, down here?

And down here.

They're faded on the wrong side, surely?

- These speakers, do they get moved about?
- Never.

They were positioned for perfect
balance 15 years ago. Why do you ask?

I could be wrong,

but it looks to me as if someone
has recently swapped them round.

Well, I don't know.

I mean, it's too incredible for words.

Roy Pilgrim watches "The Waltons".

But does that make him a murderer?

Here, you can navigate.

Where to?

I thought we'd pay a
visit to Hog's Belly Farm.

Good afternoon.

- Hi, my name's...
- Madeleine, right? We're expecting you.

Toby Flowers.

Guess you got the note
from my uncle, huh?

Well, it did intrigue me.

Oh, this is my friend Jonathan.

Hi, are you a journalist, too?

More in the way of a
technical advisor, aren't you?

On this business of the missing girl.

It's the weirdest thing, isn't it?

She could have walked in through that
window and never arrived the other side.

Spooky, kind of, wouldn't you say?

Now, do you want to come with me?

I know my Uncle Jacob and
Aunt Polly are keen to see you.

They're just up ahead
bonding with the trees.

And up...

...and down.

Circling and caressing
the trunk with your trunk!

If you feel you want to lick or nibble
the bark, don't be afraid to do that.

Let the love flow from your body

rhythmically into the tree.

Down through the roots,

into the earth.

Remember, the tree will get as
much pleasure from this as you will.

Do you do this sort of
thing regularly, then?

Since I met Jacob, 18 years ago now.
It's a really liberating experience.

Especially for Polly, who
grew up in East London.

- Which part? Barking?
- Mile End. Quite close.

I've never seen anybody get that friendly
with a knothole. Almost grounds for divorce!

You ever been up in
an oak tree, Jonathan?

It's true. We all owe a
tremendous debt to Roy Pilgrim.

This whole estate, everything
you see, is down to his support

and generosity.

He was the greatest
benefactor you could ask for.

How do you mean, was?

I won't pretend this new fiancée
of his was devoted to our cause.

Francine Faraday.

She runs a small investment
consultancy somewhere,

so she's probably in need
of spiritual enlightenment.

So she was leading him off
the straight and narrow?

It's for Roy to choose his own destiny.

We were glad he'd found a relationship that
works for him, but now, with these rumours...

If you can shed any light on this,
Madeleine, to clear Roy's name,

believe me, your efforts will not go
unrewarded, and we're not talking money.

Come with me. I want
to show you something.

There are four more underway back home,

in Utah, Wyoming, Maine and New Mexico.

Because the day will come,
make no mistake about that.

And I'll make you a promise.

Help Roy and there will be
two seats waiting for you

on the journey to the new world!

No way!

What, like, an ark as in Noah?!

- I don't believe you.
- I don't believe me and I was there!

Seriously potty people, can't tell you!

What do the police think? That he did her
in. He'll bluff it out until they find a body.

If they find a body.

I thought it was all down
to Marvo the Mystic here.

What happened? Did your
special powers desert you?

He did find something, actually. Two
funny speaker cabinets inside the door

had been switched round.

Because that's where he'd hidden
her, after he'd sawed her in half!

No?

OK, why would you deliberately
swap round a couple of speakers?

- That's the question.
- That's not the question.

What do you mean?

- Well, you wouldn't.
- So, what's the point?

None whatsoever, I should think.

All right, you've lost me.

I think what he is saying is
that it could be accidental.

Consider it this way round.
Someone comes into Pilgrim's house.

For whatever reason, they remove a
pair of identical-looking speakers.

Later, they return them. Because they look
alike, they put them back wrong way round.

But who would steal a pair of speakers
and then just put them back again?

A very honest burglar?

Better split, I think. Adam
said he might call from Vegas.

I thought I'd check out the other
band members of Edwin whatsit.

If I get anything, I'll ring you.

See you, Sheena.

Glenn, have you got a moment to talk
to this journalist about Roy Pilgrim?

- From...?
- I'm freelance. Maddy Magellan.

Mr McArthur. I can't believe I just shook
the hand that played guitar on "Hoodoo Woman"!

Now I can die happy. No, I was after a
bit of background on your ex-colleague.

What do you want me to say? That I
loathed the money-grabbing son-of-a-bitch?

It's a start.

We were young. We just wanted to play
rock 'n' roll. We weren't businessmen.

Edwin Drood became a fundraiser for
our management and record companies.

Roy, because he wrote the
songs, got sponsorship.

He was the one who cleaned up.

Don't ask me how. I've
spent years trying to forget.

Did you say extra anchovies? Mike
said you did, but I swear you...

What's this? What's going on?

- Look, Tex, I'm really sorry, but...
- Jerry?

Who are these jokers?

There comes a time, for the
greater good of the band...

You've been replaced is what
he's trying to say, guys.

- It happens.
- We were only gone for 20 minutes.

Life moves on. Can't we
all stay cool about this?

You put together another line-up
while we went for a pizza?!

This is unreal!

Jerry, can you handle it?

We needed fresh blood.

And you're gonna get
it over these walls!

So, what do you know
about this fiancée of his?

- Francine Faraday.
- Didn't strike me as Roy's type at all.

More future
mother-in-law.

What do you mean by that?

Who did you say you wrote for?

I'm putting a book together with major cases
that the police have got horribly wrong.

My opinion, you're wasting
your time on this one.

Thanks for your help.

Have one of these a day.
She'll soon be up and running.

- Is there somewhere to wash my hands?
- Sure, inside in the kitchen.

Toby? Oh, my God, what's happened?!

He appears to have been
suffocated or choked.

You'd better call the police.

There's something in there.

What the hell is it?

...damage. The reason for such
vandalism is still a mystery.

Detectives are investigating a bizarre
"Silence of the Lambs" style murder

at Hog's Belly Farm near Wittlingford,

after the victim was found with
a frog inserted in his windpipe.

Toby Flowers was a member of the American
religious sect, the Creed of Eden,

whose members include
the rock star Roy Pilgrim,

himself in the news relating to the
disappearance of teenager Tracy Cook.

Hi.

It's a pig of a night out here.

Before I became a puppet,
I was a gynaecologist.

I wanted to be a brain surgeon,
but I wasn't tall enoughl

Here's another one.

What is long and thin and sticky?

A stickl

Behold the impecunious rock legend!

As you can see, performing is
still my major source of income.

I've got this reputation for instability,
which I could never get my head round.

Don't want Marty Crow, no way!

They don't want a drummer who
urinates on the audience. Why not?

Personal contact with the
public, very important.

Roy Pilgrim. What type of women
did he go for, would you say?

Let's just say he wouldn't look at
you if he thought you'd had too many.

- Drinks?
- Birthdays.

Closer they were to the legal
limit, the more he liked them.

In those days, there were plenty
around to like, believe me!

That was then.

His taste could have changed.

Right.

The "Hocus Pocus Junior"!

I saw it in this old bookshop.
I thought, "What the hell,

"I'll pop it round. "

You drove 35 miles out of
London to bring it here.

Well, you weren't exactly hard to find.

I mean, if it's no good to you...

It's one of the classic
texts on medieval magic.

What do I owe you?

What do you want to give me?

Where is your other half tonight?

I shudder to think.

Whoever she is, she has my sympathy.

Sex for Greg is someone to
talk to while doing push-ups.

If they invented an exercise bike that
said, "That was wonderful!", he'd propose.

Yes, I've never met a man before
whose IQ was the same as his bra size.

It's an interesting combina...

- Help yourself to a sherry, by the way
- Thanks.

I've got a theory.

About those speakers, why someone
would take them out of the room.

Go on, then.

He was hypnotised.

Someone took the speakers away,
rigged them up to play some recording

that made him forget he'd seen the
girl come in through the window.

Right.

Involuntary hypnosis?

Mmm-hmm.

Not quite sure Roy Pilgrim's the
sort to go under without a fight.

And why do all that instead of just
dangling a watch chain in front of his nose?

Because...

they...

...didn't do that at all.

- So what did they do?
- Why have you come here?

Because I'm like you.

I can't resist a puzzle.

- Let me into your mind.
- Sorry?

Lecture me.

All right.

Let's recap.

Last Monday, a
16-year-old girl...

...Tracy Cook,

calls round to visit her
hero, rock star Roy Pilgrim.

Half a dozen schoolboys see her walk in
through the French windows at the back,

into the white room.

That's proven fact. It's beyond dispute.

At the exact same time, four o'clock,

Pilgrim swears he was in the room, fully
conscious, handcuffed to the radiator,

and saw no one come in.

His watch was wrong.

He knew the time because he'd
been listening to the radio.

He says he was awake all afternoon.

The only time he slept
was during the night.

So he has to be lying.
Nothing else makes sense.

But what he says makes even less sense.

Why go to the trouble
of making up that story?

He could say he wasn't there at
all, or he was still unconscious.

No one could prove otherwise.

No, instead, he says the one
thing that no jury will believe,

that no one came in through the
door. Why? Because it's true.

Both stories can't be true.

It's impossible.

- Is it?
- Yes, it is!

You've been there. You've inspected
it. The police have inspected it.

How can she just have
vanished into the ether?!

Like some... phantom, or...

What's the matter, you
got a frog in your throat?

I'll get it.

Jonathan Creek.

Sorry, I know it's early.

- Did I wake you?
- Er... no, that's fine.

Are you well?

I just wanted to bring you
up to date on yesterday.

My gut reaction now?

He did it.

All this thing about young
girls seems to check out.

Both his erstwhile buddies
said the same thing.

So... I know it looked promising, but...

I've got a feeling we should ditch
it. We're barking up the wrong tree.

Funnily enough, I've just come
to the exact opposite conclusion.

I draw your attention to page 197
of "The Observer's Book of Frogs".

What...?!

- He's done nothing wrong!
- You've got no evidence!

- Roy, trust in the Lord!
- Vindictive fags!

He's done nothing! You'll
go straight to Hell!

And you'll go straight down the nick!
Sergeant, get those lunatics down!

What's happening?

Has he been charged?

He's not in there to warm the
seat! Want to speak to him?

No, I just came to collect one or two
things. Will that still be possible?

The house is all yours.

They've taken him,
as we knew they would!

- God help him!
- Without a shred of proof, of course!

- Where do we go from here?
- I think the back gate's a good place.

- Yes, Miss Faraday?
- I was... looking for my hairbrush.

I used to keep...

- What is this? I thought...
- Not quite.

But never fear, an arrest
will be made very shortly.

Though it sticks in the craw to
admit the press had any hand in this,

thanks to our friend here, I'm now
seeing this business in a new light.

- Go on, you're dying to tell them.
- Is she?

You can all stay to listen. I'm off.

You don't tend to hang
about, do you, Francine?

Same as when your husband-to-be
was suspected, off like a bullet.

So wonderful to have
faith in one you love!

Please, you think any woman alive would
take his word for it after what happened?

Of course they wouldn't, and
that's what you were banking on...

Mr and Mrs Flowers, when you
engineered this whole affair.

I beg your pardon?!

Not mine to grant, unfortunately.

I don't imagine a judge
will be too lenient, either.

We've stood square behind
Roy from the word go.

Yes... I don't think believing
in someone's innocence

when you framed him quite
counts as loyalty, does it?

Why on earth would we want to frame Roy?

To get rid of the one person
who was a threat to your income.

The logic of shelling out millions of
pounds to people who had sex with trees

was a bit lost on you, wasn't it?

Roy's interest in the
Creed was on the wane.

Of course, once you
were married... oh, dear.

Serious cash flow problems.

So, she had to be scared off.

Sharpish.

You're saying this was
like a trick to set me up?

Like the best tricks, it was
blindingly simple in theory,

and fantastically elaborate in practice.

But to a bunch of people building an ark in
their back garden, all things were possible.

Staging a break-in and putting
him out were the easy bits.

An hour later, he comes round,

to find he's trapped
inside the white room.

The only thing that comes through
the door is a small red-bellied frog.

At the same time, a teenage girl, not
noted for her frog-like appearance,

is seen entering the door from the outside
by a bunch of boys at the back gate.

There's no way it adds up.

Until you realise the whole thing
was a classic piece of misdirection

which relied on us all making
one, very false, assumption.

That in both version of events, we
were talking about the same door.

A shame you couldn't have
followed that frog, Roy,

as it hopped back outside.

You'd have been impressed by the handiwork
of the drones at Hog's Belly Farm.

God knows how long it took them to come up
with a replica correct to every last detail.

But we can assume months of planning
and preparation when you weren't around.

Sifting through the fan mail
for a suitable candidate.

And forging the letter
that would bring her here.

Tracy Cook was instructed to call
at the back gate at four o'clock

because you knew there would be
witnesses then to watch her going in.

Inside, I don't know, she's
told there's a change of plan.

Roy will meet her at the farm.

She's whisked off out of the
front to be hidden away somewhere.

All this time, Roy's been in what he
thinks is his own room, jotting down songs.

The one thing you couldn't
duplicate were the African speakers.

But you just took them with you.

Finally, it gets dark and Roy nods off.

That's when you pull the second switch,

making sure he won't wake up on the way.

Back he goes into his own room.

Along with the speaker cabinets which
we know ended up the wrong way round.

As compromising set-ups
go, it was a gem.

The man's convicted by his own honesty.

While you lot leap about in his
defence to keep the handouts coming.

Well, you got a colourful imagination.

And you've got a colourful frog.

Lots of them, I reckon.

Where's your little book?

Look familiar?

The Anasase River Toad.

Much prized by the Indians of
New Mexico, and many others,

for its narcotic secretions.

The quickest way to
get a fix, basically,

is to put it in your mouth and suck.

Being careful not to overdo it,
or you end up like poor old Toby.

That's what joined it
all up, I have to say.

If these frogs are being bred
on a commune at Hog's Belly Farm,

how the hell did one appear at these
French windows nearly 15 miles away?

Unless it had gone for a very
long walk, or hitched a lift,

there was only one explanation
- it had never left the farm in the first place.

And, as ludicrous as it
sounds, the window and the room

and Roy Pilgrim...

...had to be there, as well.

Sorry, I think my head may
explode. I can't take this in.

The lads are turning your
place over even as we speak.

You could save time by
telling us where she is.

What the hell, let them have fun.

Cor, look at all this!

Make way, get out of there!

Come down the steps.

♪ Going home tomorrow

♪ Can't stand your evil ways... ♪

Can we turn this down a bit?

What were they going to do?
Just keep her locked up there?

Or work on her mind. Couple of years, bit
of brain washing, she'd be one of them.

Wouldn't be the first time.

Anyway, thanks.

Again. I'll talk to Barry about cutting
you in on this book when it's done.

- What for?
- I don't expect your help for nothing.

Fair enough.

You'd take it as well,
you penny-pinching bastard!

Do you know what I make from
all this? Not very much...

compared with some people,
say a prostitute or something!

But I'd rather do what I
believe in! In my opinion,

I think casual sex is a sign of a
shallow personality, but there we are!

Have you been sucking a frog?

I beg your pardon?!

#... without you, baby, so
why don't you leave me alonel #

You'd better hurry or
you won't miss your train.

What sort of gibberish is that?!

Jonathan, stop being clever! For once!

Just go!

I get it. That call you made to
Sheena just before we got in the car.

She said she spent last night at my
place and now you've got the hump.

- Who's got the hump?!
- Because you think we slept together.

Jonathan, whether or not
you and Sheena slept together

is your business and her business.

It's certainly none of my business.

Quite frankly, I have no
desire to even discuss it.

So if I said I'd rather poke
needles down my nails than poke...

It would be a matter of no
consequence to me whatsoever.

In fact, I find that extremely offensive
and highly insulting to my best friend!

Right.

I'll see you around, then.

Yes!

#... turn his back on his
best friend if he put her down

♪ When a man loves a woman

♪ He'd spend his very last dime

♪ Trying to hold on... ♪

YES!