All language subtitles for 10.Items.or.Less.2006.1080p.WEBRip.x265-RARBG

[train crossing bell clanging]

[boat horns blaring]

[truck horn blaring]

[man]
Sorry, what was your name again?

Packy.

-[man] Packy?
-[Packy] Yeah.

[man]
Are we lost, Packy?

[Packy]
Damn it! Damn it!

I had this nailed before,
I swear.

Dude, we're gonna find it.
Don't worry about it.

So you're driving
for the picture?

Donny's my cousin.
You know, Donny?

Ah, yeah.

I'm kind of like
the all-purpose kind of guy.

-Your cousin?
-Yeah.

And this is his first picture.

Yeah, yeah, you know.

Like, I guess
that thing we did

in Bartoli's backyard
doesn't count.

Yeah, this is like
his first film.

Movie.

Is he good with actors?
Does he like actors?

You know, you're kind of like

the first actor
I've ever met, so...

But I know he's fucking
so psyched

that you're doing this.

You're playing
the store manager.

Well, now,
I haven't committed yet.

This is just research,
you know?

Just... take a look
at the location.

Research, get a feel
for the character.

Hey, so Donny says
you haven't worked in, like,

four years or something
like that.

Well, not four.

It's a long fucking time, right?
I mean...

Well, I mean, you know,
I-I've had--

I mean, it's not like
I haven't had offers.

So you're back!
You're fucking back in business.

How does it feel?

Well, I wouldn't exactly
call this "back."

I mean, not "back" back,
you know?

Not like "comeback" back.

It's just a little
independent thing.

Oh.

Nicely under the radar,
you know.

I mean, if it flies, fine.

And if it doesn't,
it won't even count.

It's like a blow job.

[both chuckle]

Yeah, like a cinematic blow job.

[laughs]

No shit.

All right, this is so...

This is so fucking uncool,
I know,

but I'm driving,
so fuck it, I mean--

Hey, would you mind just doing
a little bit for me?

Any part. Any part is fine.

I have no idea
what you're talking about.

The thing--
The book on tape?

You did this so well.
Come on. Any-- Any part.

-Anything, really.
-[theme from "Titanic" plays]

Uh, no, no, no...

[his voice, on tape]
Chapter four...

Wait, wait.

...her ivory hand
grasped firmly,

the door swung open
with the hush of luxury.

And there...

-I never did a book on tape.
-Shh! Here you go.

...her brim swept up,
her eyes filled with the glory,

the spectacle
that was Titanic.

Man.

That's not me.

Modest motherfucker.

-I'm telling you, it's not me.
-Modest.

Of course it's you.

What else you been doing
for the past four years?

That's not me, man.

All right, all right,
first of all...

[chuckles]

...I would--
I would never--

I would never go that way.

I would never choose
those rhythms.

You know what I'm saying?

You get a scene like that,

you don't drop
into those rhythms.

You don't-- You don't play
the obvious.

You always go under.

Run it by me again.

-You want to play it again?
-Yeah. Yeah.

[tape rewinding]

[man's voice, on tape] Her brim
swept up, and her eyes filled--

No, see, he's all caught up
in his reading.

Shit, he's totally disconnected.

I wouldn't--
I wouldn't have a--

"Earth received her step.

Brim up,

her eyes encompassed the glory,

the spectacle,

that was Titanic."

Oh, my God! What?

[tires screech]

So this is...

Ground zero.

You going to remember
how we got here?

Yeah, I'm down with the map,
so it's no big deal.

So how do you want to...?

How do you want
to handle this?

Sneak me in through
the back, maybe?

For what?

This is fine.

So how long you need?

You don't stay?

No, I run.

Fricking Porta Potties in Brea,
wherever the heck that is.

You remember which way we...?

[laughs]

No, I'm just---
I'm fucking with you, man.

I'm just-- It's a joke.

All right. All right.

An hour or so should do it.

[Packy]
Okay.

Now, you will be coming back?

Yeah. Yeah.

Hey, good field trip,
all right?

And, man, seriously...

[tires screeching]

[Mariachi music playing faintly]

[phone rings]

[phone ringing continuous]

[objects clatter]

[whispering]

[humming]

[woman, over P.A.]
Put it back.

-[feedback squealing]
-Yes, you. Put it back.

You're not going to take it.
You never do.

Stop squeezing the shit
out of it and put it back.

I'm watching you, cabrón.

You going to pick it,
or do I?

Your mama didn't teach you
how to count?

Let's go. Let's go.

Fine. More for me.

Lee.

[exhales]

[cash register whirring]

-Come on.
-[cash register whirring]

$16.60.

Get a milk.

Vamos.

-[beeping]
-Oh. Oh...

Shit.

Lee!

Can you not do that?

Sorry. I was just...

Watching, I know.
I saw you come in.

Is this bothering you?

I mean, am I bothering you
standing here?

You are three feet
from my face.

Oh. Sorry.

Well, where should I...?

$24.50. No receipt.

[cash register beeping
and whirring]

Oh.

Give me that.

How do you do that?
The numbers?

How do you--?

You know before they even--

I'm terrible
with numbers.

You got prices,
you got totals.

How many can there be?

Do you have to train
for that?

I mean, to remember
all that?

Some special training?

Yeah. Right.

I'm too A.D.D.

I-I could never--

So you--

You really anticipate, right?

Oh, I mean, you're good.

You're really good. Wow.

Does the manager
have to be that good?

I mean, with the numbers?

What about the other one?

Is she that good?

I mean, she's not pulling in
the customers.

Why, no.

Not while she sits
on her ass!

But then, I guess you don't
have to work

if you're fucking the manager!

Kiss it.

Bitch.

That puta gets the gold lane

and does shit.

And I carry the floor.

You tell me
how smart I am.

Well, I wasn't aware there were
lane distinctions.

You are looking at them.

Ten items or less?

You been standing there.

You see one jerk not try
to push the count, huh?

Always a fight.

So this is the less
desirable lane.

This?

This is where checkers
come to die.

Look at this.

Look at--
Even the register sucks.

Ugh.

You know, in Italy,
they give long receipts

to pretty woman
as a come-on.

Toll-takers
on the highway.

Sort of a projection of length,
if you know what I mean.

Why are you here?

I was hoping
to see the manager.

But I guess he's not here.

I don't know.
Why don't you ask her?

No, no, no. It's okay.
It's-- It's cool.

What did you want with him?

I'm just doing
a little research.

You're a cop?

No! Ha! No, no.

-I'm-I'm--
-Shitting you.

I know who you are.

You do?

You are in that
Ashley Judd movie.

You saw that?

Blockbuster over there.
Only shit we see.

Yeah, well, I'm--

Mm, I know.

And you are?
Your name again is...?

Did I tell you?

No, of course not.

Research for what?

A project.

What the hell does that mean,
"a project"?

A film, you know.

Little-- Nothing
I've committed to.

-Just...
-A movie.

Yeah.

Then why don't you say so?

Scarlet. That's your name.
Scarlet.

Yeah.

Yeah. Good strong name, Scarlet.
Beautiful name.

It's the lead in a movie name.

Scarlet.

What would you possibly
learn here?

Everything. Everything.

-What?
-Well, for instance,

do you know that you change
hands every other customer?

You've got this
rhythm thing going.

Are you aware of that? Hmm?

-Are you shitting me?
-No.

No, it's just details.
It's all detail.

That's all character is:

behavior.

You have to build it.

For instance,

this blouse that you're wearing
here under this smock?

That's a choice, right?
That's specific.

But what does it say to us,
to the audience?

It says that she's here
but she's not here.

She's doing it,
but on her own terms.

You see what I'm saying?

Or it's very uncomfortable.

What have we got here?
Some sort of a poly blend?

It's not wool, is it?

I don't do well with wool.
Sweat like a motherfucker.

Manager doesn't have
to wear wool, does he?

I'd have a problem with that.

Are all actors like you?

Sadly, no.

Oh, Jesus.

Lee.

[sighs]

[over P.A.]
Lee!

Is that him?
Is that the manager?

Oh, oh, the vest is great.

He's a standby.
Deaf as a post.

-Deaf.
-Yeah, he's--

Oh, shit.

How am I supposed
to get out of here?

[Scarlet, over P.A.]
Put it back!

[feedback squeals,
amplified thumping]

Hello?

Scarlet?

What are you doing?

You're doing
a wonderful job, Scarlet.

Customers, please note
the outstanding work

being done by our employee
in the "10 items or less" lane.

And you'll find there's
no waiting in aisle number one,

where our full service checker
is currently sitting on her ass.

Hey, fuck off.

[feedback squeals]

[Muzak playing]

[chuckling]

Why the hurry?

Because I was supposed to get
out of here 15 minutes ago.

And if I just leave Lee here,

the place will probably
get robbed again.

Robbed?

Like, "robbed" robbed?

Where do you think you are?

Really?

I am sick of taking care
of these children.

But wait, you...

You're going now?

Don't stay too long.

The next shift
doesn't speak English.

Well, wait a minute.

Couldn't you stay
a few more minutes?

-I got to go.
-Just five more minutes.

Aren't you supposed
to get picked up?

There's some little autobus
that comes, or--

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know where the kid is.

He was supposed to be here
an hour ago.

You think he's coming?

Do I know him?

Well.

Well, what if he's lost?

So call him.

I-I forgot my cell phone.

Darn. So did I.

Use the pay phone,
like the rest of America.

Well, see,
the thing is, I...

I don't have a phone number
for him.

I mean, the little P.A. guy,
he left,

and he didn't give me
a phone number.

He told me he was going
to find me here.

So no ride?

No.

And there's no one
you can call?

No. I don't know the--

I mean, it's just a shitty
little production company.

I haven't even committed yet.

So call home.

You do have a home?

See? See?

-A clear mind.
-Yeah.

[chuckling]

[loose change rattling]

Thank you.

Oh.

What?

I don't remember
the number.

We had the phone numbers changed
a week or so ago,

but for security,
and I-I don't remember.

You don't know your number?

What are you, 12?

You don't know your own
phone number?

Not this week.

[scoffs]

Can't you call a cab?

[snorts]

Think they'd take a card?

Diner's Club?

Are you kidding?

What? The rates are terrific.

Jesus.

What do you people do
when you get in trouble?

Who do you normally call?

Manager. Agent.

[coin tumbles and clangs]

Hi. It's me.

The other me.

Yeah.

Oh.

Okay. Thank you.

[coin tumbles and clangs]

Hi.

Is he in?

Really? When?

Oh.

Right. Okay. All right.

Yeah. Thank you.

What?

It's no good.

They're all gone.

It's a Jewish holiday.

Today?

Tomorrow. They've...
stretched it.

Then who were you
talking with?

The switchboard.

So everyone else...?

Gone.

They're all Jewish?

They are today.

Oh...

Look...

I don't know what to tell you.

I got to be somewhere.

I'm-- I'm already late.

And I got shit
I got to do first, and...

And if I leave you,

you're going to get
yourself killed.

I can't believe this.

Okay. Shit.
Okay, we'll get you home.

But I got shit
I got to do first,

so you're just going to have
to come with me.

Hold this.

Ah, that's a hell
of a trick.

Quick change
between scenes.

Ha! Me, I can't put on
two socks in an hour.

Oh, that's good on you,
that blue.

That's my secret,
you know?

Brings out that youthful glow
in you, blue does.

That's not after-school wear.

What, a quick stop
at the Red Onion?

Is that the action here?

A little wrinkled here.

Oh, damn it!

You forgot something.

-What'd you forget?
-Fucking keys.

-You forgot your keys?
-Not mine.

You forgot somebody else's keys.

Whose keys did you forget?

My ex-husband's.

Oh, you're not old enough
to have an ex-husband.

How old are you?

Twenty-five.
How old are you?

Old enough to have
an ex-husband.

So you took his keys?

His keys. My car.

-Ah.
-[sighs]

How long were you married?

Still am.

You're still--?

[scoffs]

Can't afford
the divorce yet.

Ah.

-Okay.
-So why the split?

[Him] Well, what do--?
What do you think?

Uh, married too young
or grew separately as people?

What?

[Scarlet] He fucks other women
and takes my car.

[Him]
Got it.

[hip-hop music blaring]

Yo, ése.
What's up, Hollywood?

[Him]
Hey, man! How you doing?

[man]
Whoo-hoo-hoo!

See that?

Haven't done a movie
in four years.

[car horn honking]

Ha! Star Mobile.

God, I feel at home already.

[chuckles]

[dog barking]

This your neighborhood?

Nice. Real... texture.

What do you think a place
goes for around here?

I always wanted to get a place,
you know, in the city,

that's just for meetings.

Where are we again?

This your place?

-No.
-No?

Oh, check stand number one.

I need my keys.

Tell Bobby I want my keys
and the fucking cash he owes me.

Tell him yourself.

Damn, it stinks...

The manager.

What the fuck
are you doing here?

You're supposed
to be on the floor.

-Who the fuck is watching Lee?
-[Scarlet] I don't know.

Why don't you call the manager?
Give me my keys.

-Who's this?
-[sighs] This is--

Hey. no, no.
I know who he is.

What the fuck
is he doing here?

[Scarlet]
Research.

Research? What, on you?

[laughs] What are you,
the new Ashley Judd?

[Scarlet]
No, asshole. It's a project.

Oh, a project, huh?

Like a class project?

No, it's-- It's nothing
I've committed to yet.

-I'm just--
-He can't get home, Bobby.

He needs a ride.
Give me my keys.

He can't call someone?

They're all Jewish.

So they don't drive?

Well, what she's
trying to say is,

I forgot the numbers.

See, we had a little
security issue at home,

and we changed all
the phones, and--

Scarlet, Scarlet,
what the fuck's with the getup?

Huh? Don't tell me you're going
on that fucking interview.

Interview?

You've got an interview?

[Bobby] Scar, baby,
we talked about this, okay?

You think anybody's gonna take
some grocery hump seriously?

I mean, you've never even seen
the inside of a fucking office.

I'm sorry, I thought
she was the grocery hump.

Hey, at least someone
got pregnant.

That cash was mine.

Now give it to me,
and give me the keys to my car.

You know, I saw you
walk out with that load

under your arms
the other night.

-You're going to pay that back?
-I did.

For three years.

Hey, Scarlet...

how's the green card coming?

Hey, Lorraine,

have another beer
for the baby, huh?

[Bobby]
Come on. Come on, babe.

Give me my keys.

[keys jingling]

Bobby, give me the keys.

-Hey, come on, don't--
-Give me the keys.

-Bobby, give me the keys.
-[screams]

-[Scarlet grunts]
-[Bobby] Ah! Ow! What the fuck?

-[Scarlet yelling]
-[Bobby] Get the fuck off me!

-[Bobby] What?
-[Scarlet] Mi dinero.

[Bobby]
Ow! Goddamn it! Fucking bitch!

Get off me!
Get the fuck off me!

Hey! Hey! Ow! Ow!
That fucking hurts!

That hurts! That hurts!
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Here, take it!

-Fucking get the fuck out!
-[Scarlet shouting]

-[Scarlet panting]
-[Bobby] I'm all right.

-[Scarlet] Cabrón.
-[Bobby] I'm all right, baby.

[police sirens
wailing distantly]

[Him]
They're not armed, are they?

[Bobby] You fucking bitch!

[Scarlet muttering]

[grunts]

Whoo! Oh, my.

Uh, maybe the prudent thing
at this point

is ask if you're...
okay to drive?

You see an old Pontiac?

Green, like her eyes?

Yeah. Right behind us.

-[starts engine]
-Good.

-[tires squeal]
-No!

You motherfucking cunt!

You motherfucker! Fucker!

-What do you think? Go again?
-[engine revving]

-[Lorraine] Fuck you!
-I-I-I'd say you're good.

[Lorraine]
Fuck you, you fucking bitch!

-Fucking bitch! Motherfucker!
-[revs engine]

Aren't you gonna do something,
you fucking pussy?

Get off the floor!

[tires squeal]

Fucker!

[tires screeching]

[Him]
What? What's the matter?

Look at this.

The whole thing
was a mistake.

That's nothing. Nothing.
This is a fix.

It's a wardrobe change.
Don't worry about it.

What time was the--
The thing?

Who's it with?
What are we auditioning for?

And how am I supposed
to get you home?

Fuck that. That's later.
What time's the thing?

-At 4:00.
-4:00, all right.

We got to get out of here,

because we got time
to stop and--

-[sighs]
-Come on, come on. Let's hit it.

[tires squealing]

Okay, now this is what,
this interview?

It's...

[sighs]
...stupid.

Oh, come on now.

I don't know.

Secretary.

-Perfect.
-Office secretary.

Perfect.

It's...

I don't know,

construction company
or something.

That's perfect.
That's-- You're perfect for it.

You don't even know me.

Let me tell you something.

I may not know
my phone number.

I might not even know
what fucking day it is,

but I know people.

I mean, the minute
I see somebody,

I know how to cast them.

I see the role.

Don't you do that?

Hm? The minute I laid eyes
on you, I said to myself,

"DA's office, E.R. intern,
office manager."

Secretary.

Same thing, better billing.

I mean, I saw you
four steps ahead

of everybody else
in that supermarket.

I saw you holding down
the work of three people

because you know you're better
than everybody else.

Am I right? Huh? Huh?

So, what's a secretary
but somebody who does the work

of three people while some
other schlub gets the credit?

You know where
we're headed here?

No.

Then shouldn't we stop and...

maybe ask for
directions somewhere?

-No directions.
-No directions.

I never ask
for directions, okay?

See? Perfect character choice.

Self-sufficiency.
Rely on no one.

Do you remember
where you got this blouse?

-No. Sí.
-Well? Yes or no? Quick.

-Sí, I think so.
-Okay, take us there.

-Okay.
-And don't stop for lights.

We got shit to do.
Let's get to work.

Okay.

[mellow piano music playing]

This is amazing.

It's Target.

Fantastic.

[woman, over intercom]
Target team member

to home furnishings.

Target team member
to home furnishings, please.

May I have a Target team member
in infant wear.

Please, a Target team member
in infant wear.

[Him]
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!

[Scarlet]
Oh, no.

-Look at these prices!
-Yeah.

How can they afford
to do this?

I have to tell the office
about this place.

It's a well-kept secret.

-[gasps]
-What?

Designer T-shirts, $8?

Do you know
what this cost?

Huh?

You-- How much do you think
this costs?

Oh, it's La Perla
maxi-blend, right?

I'd say...

-A hundred.
-Oh.

-A hundred.
-Oh, that's pathetic.

You paid a hundred dollars
for a T-shirt.

Oh, God, no. Not me.

Wardrobe department,
the last movie I was on.

I get all my underwear
through them.

But let me show you
what you're paying for.

-What?
-Clint Eastwood taught me this.

See how the shirt cuffs
right there

at the middle of the muscle?

-Look at that. Huh, see?
-Hm.

Makes me look 30,
doesn't it?

Huh? Taller?

Why is it you people
make all the money

and work so hard
not to spend it?

Well, that's the game.

I haven't shopped retail
in years.

You have to learn these things
when you're younger.

Oh, my God.

Look at the thread count
on these.

[woman] ...Magic Cloths
two-pack for $21.99.

We're gonna go ahead and give
you the second one for free.

Like I said,
that's our standard package.

And until we run out
of these mops,

just let me know right now--

And I know you want one
and you want one too--

We're gonna go ahead and give
you that mop and that package

absolutely free today
as a bonus gift.

So, like I said,

"buy one, get one"
is our standard package

until we run out of the mops.

Just let me know now.
I know you want one.

Here, we're gonna
give you that mop.

[Him]
Mm-mm, no.

Mm-mm.

No, no, no, no.

-[sighs]
-What?

The blue was working for you.

Don't throw the baby out
with the bathwater.

What is wrong with this?

Everything.

All right,
forget the color.

Look at the
shoulder construction.

You don't need help like that.
You've got fantastic shoulders.

You go in there with this,
you'll look like a linebacker.

Uh-uh. You're too young
to remember that picture.

Spent months trying to make me
look like a sister.

You think I can
buy off the rack?

Hell, no.

Couldn't even squeeze
myself into a 14.

We had to do some
very careful work.

By the time we were done,
even the grips wanted to do me.

Here. Try this on.

[Scarlet sighs]

Damn.

[sighs]

[Him]
Oh, that is wonderful.

Wonderful.

Oh, the Mizrahi?

Very tasty.

Mm, you might want to shorten
the waist just a little.

Mm-hmm.

Dynamite. Dynamite.

[all laugh]

Look at you ladies.

You're going to get
some tonight for sure.

Is there anyone
you don't talk to?

Why? I engage people.

I'm a connector.

Human interaction.
It's the spice of life.

Pardon me, Tracey?

-Hm?
-That's my daughter's name.

Imagine that.

Same name as my daughter.

I bet they spelled it wrong too,
didn't they?

They forgot the E.

Well, Tracey with an E,

what pretty eyes.

Where could we find
the cosmetics department?

Oh, no, no,
no, no, no.

Now, now, a little schmutz
isn't gonna hurt.

Pick up those eyes
a little bit, hmm?

-Where?
-On the left,

just past the auto parts.

Thank you.

I just love Barbershop.

[chuckling]
So did I.

Now let's go raid
the testers.

It's been years since
I bought new makeup for my wife.

And the rest of this.

-Hmm?
-How you plan on paying?

Go ahead and say it.

Thank you, Diner's Club.

[laughing]

Once more.

-Thank you, Diner's Club.
-Good!

[chuckles]

Uh-oh.

What time is it?

Never mind. Never mind.
We're okay.

We'll have to do
something here.

This is no good.
This is terrible.

What?

We can't pull up to an audition
looking like--

-Interview.
-Same pitch, better billing.

No, you've got to make
an impression.

You pull up,
you're on the runway

before you can
put it in park.

Oh, this is no good.
This is filthy.

[chuckles]
It's a car.

It's your entrance.

Look, offices have windows.
Windows.

They see you coming,
that's it.

You're on.

Now, you cannot take
the stage half-cocked.

We've got to get this
to wardrobe.

Open up. Open up. Come on.

[buzzing]

[machinery whirring]

Which one's yours?

That one's mine.

I mean, I'm with that one.

I got it. I got it this time.
I got it.

All right.

-Good job.
-Thank you.

Come on.

[man whistles]

[sighs]

[mumbling]

[sighs]

Oh, que bella.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[dramatic music playing on TV]

It's me.

Jody.

[choral music plays on TV]

[fawn squeals]

[all]
Aw.

-[all cheer]
-[laughs]

All right!

Look at us.

Now we're ready,

Miss Construction
Office Manager.

[laughing]

[sighs]

How are you doing?

How does it look?

You want to puke.

Yup.

Perfect.

No, really. It's perfect.

That's how you should be
feeling at this point.

What the fuck
am I thinking, huh?

What?

I've never seen the other side
of the checkout stand.

So what?

I've never had a job where
you're even allowed to sit down.

What are you--?
What'd you say you were, 25?

25? You're 25?

I was 30 before I got
my first picture.

You're way ahead
of the curve.

Nothing but time.
Whole life ahead of you.

So let it start now.

Listen, listen, now.
We can nail this thing.

Just got to get you focused.

Let's run it, okay?
You want to run it?

The scene, the--
The thing.

We'll just knock it around.
Put it up on its feet.

All right?

You be you.
I'll be whoever.

Well, the guy--
The meeting.

-[sighs]
-Piece of cake.

Okay? Come on.

Okay.

Okay, here we go.

-Okay.
-Ready?

-Yeah.
-All right.

[clears throat]

Good afternoon, Miss...

-Morales.
-...Miss Morales.

Yeah.

Well, it's very nice
to meet you.

-Thank you.
-That's a beautiful blouse.

Now it says here
that you come to us

from Archie's Ranch Market.

That's that fine establishment
over in Carson.

-Is that correct?
-Yes.

Where you apparently ran
the 10-items-or-less

checkout counter
while everybody else did shit.

No need for modesty here.

That's right. Yeah.

That's good.

Well, tell me about yourself,
Miss Morales.

Okay, uh...

I'm...

I'm originally from Spain.

You don't say.

I've worked in the

grocery service industry

for six years.

-Mm-hmm.
-And, um...

Oh, I can't. I can't.

-What?
-I can't do this.

-No, no, no.
-No, this is stupid.

No, this is good.
That was good.

Oh, come on. We ran it.
This is what it's all about.

This is the fun shit.

Come on. Come on.

Okay.

-Okay.
-Okay.

Well, tell me about yourself,
Miss Morales.

Family?

Not exactly.

Married?

I have a husband, but--

He's a real prick.

Extra-extra large.

What about children?
Any kids?

No. No.

Planning on having any
down the line?

I don't know if I'm...

Okay, that's going
to be possible.

You know,
or you don't know?

Don't know.

Don't know for sure.

[Stuttering]
No, no, no.

But I haven't...

Because you haven't
been knocked up

by an extra-large prick.

Yet, his fault or yours?

I-I don't know.

Well, he's so busy
banging door number two,

-how could you know?
-Yeah, but they got--

She got--

[sighs]
So fast.

And that means you can't?

No. No, I don't--

Have you had yourself
checked out?

-No, but I'm--
-Then how do you know?

[stammers softly]

[panting]

What has this got to do
with construction?

Ah. That's good.
That's very good.

They-- They really going to ask
about this in the interview?

-Probably not.
-What?

Then why are you doing this?

Curious.

Why are you so curious
about me?

What do you care?

Because I see you.

You're me.

Well, not as handsome, but--

I mean, look at yourself.

You're 25 years old, right?

And you feel as old as I did
on my last birthday.

A busted marriage,
a shitty job,

convinced already
that you're barren.

You're looking back
from the warning track

thinking you've already
given away the good shit.

And try as you may,
you cannot convince yourself

that there's anything left
out there for you,

so why keep playing?

I know.

I can sit here in this car,

with somebody
I hardly know,

in a section of town I haven't
a fucking clue where I am.

Don't know my phone number.

Don't know what day it is.

I don't think I even have
a real friend I can call.

And I realize
that I could just...

disappear.

[chuckles]

Just...

disappear.

I don't have any friends.

I know you don't.

I never had them.

Never, at no time.

And I know everybody.

[laughs]

I could be your friend.

No, you couldn't.

Nah.

No, you'd just want
to have sex with me.

[laughs]

Maybe you could.

You play tennis?

You could come over,

hang out at the house,
meet the kids.

We could meet for breakfast
once a week.

You know we will never
see each other again.

Bullshit. Of course we will.

No, don't say that.
Don't--

Let's not say
what is not true.

Not-- Not here.

Look, maybe we should
just get you home.

Forget this whole--

Oh, no, no. Uh-uh-uh.

That's not you talking.

That's your blood sugar.

When did you eat last?

-What?
-What do you eat in a day?

Do you do your protein
in the morning?

See? That's it.
Everybody forgets that.

Everybody.

You know who told me that?

The Dalai Lama.

Protein fanatic.

Why do you think he's smiling
all the time?

Big pork chop
under those robes.

You can't expect yourself
to deliver on an empty tank.

Right? You can't focus.

You like lentils?

Okay, okay, where can we score
some lentils around here?

Okay. Plan B.

Girl needs some protein.

Girl needs iron.

Hi.

I was wondering
if you couldn't put together

a little veggie
something for us.

I don't know, a little tomato,
a little cheese?

You know, something simple?

[burps and coughs]

[belches]

[both laugh]

[Scarlet]
Sorry.

[Him] You know what I like
to do sometimes?

When I'm feeling stale,
you know?

And I need to come back
to work fresh?

British.

I do everything
with a British accent.

[in British accent]
It's quite pleasant, really.

Clears the linguistic palate.

Breaks the monotony,
the needless anxiety.

Do try it.

Yes, go on.

[in British accent]
Pleasant.

Quite pleasant.

I say.

Spot on, old girl.
Spot on.

[in normal voice]
You act all the time, don't you?

I suppose when one's
a performer,

one does like doing
the acting thing, yes.

You love it.

With every ounce
of my magnificent body.

Then why don't you work?

Why-- Why don't you commit?

[in normal voice]
Well, that's...

That's the query,
isn't it?

Holy Grail.

I suppose it has to do
with agents,

lawyers, gardeners...

overhead.

Protecting one's quotes.

Dodging the creative bullet.

Judging, weighing, hiding.

Teasing.

Seducing.

Being seduced.

Too soon you realize you've been
sitting quite sportily

on the sidelines
for years.

Right, then.

Ten items or less.

Ten things you hate
in your life.

Things you loathe.

I believe I've named mine.

-Oh.
-Quickly now. Don't think.

Oh. Oh.

Okay.

Um...

-My feet.
-Mm-hmm.

My marriage.

Mm-hmm.

My clothes.

Slow people.

Asking directions.

Paper and plastic.

[sighs]

Lies.

Money.

No. Needing money.

[sighs]

Needing.

Okay.

Ten items or less.

Ten things you fancy most
in your life.

-Oh.
-Ten things you would keep,

if you could only keep 10.

Okay, okay.

Um...

My car.

And it's a wonderful car.

Thank you.

My nephew.

My toaster.

[sighs]

The tree behind my house.

Wind.

Music. Any music.

My hair,
when it's raining.

[chuckles]

That's only seven.

Yeah?

Your turn.

Ten item or less.

Keepers.

Mm-hmm.

My wife.

My kids.

Their friends.

Coffee at 5:30
in the morning.

A really good
bowel movement.

No extra takes.

Uh, all 88 ivories.

Sex.

The written word.

Breathable cotton.

And strong endings.

That was 11.

I know.

But the sign says 10.

I know.

Oh. You know...

you are just like
everyone else.

You just have to push it.

Didn't you?

Oh, shit.

[laughs]

Don't laugh.

I'm sorry.

Eat your protein.

[scoffs]
Yeah.

Come on.
Remember, Dalai Lama.

Yeah.

-So you repeat after me, okay?
-Mm-hmm.

♪ So please, sit down ♪

-♪ How do you do? ♪
-♪ How do you do? ♪

♪ This job's for me ♪

♪ The rest is... poo ♪

♪ The rest is poo ♪

-♪ Oh, please, sit down ♪
-♪ Oh, please, sit down ♪

-♪ How do you do? ♪
-♪ How do you do? ♪

-♪ This job's for me ♪
-♪ This job's for me ♪

-♪ The rest is poo ♪
-♪ The rest is poo ♪

-♪ Oh, please, sit down ♪
-♪ Oh, please, sit down ♪

-♪ How do you do? ♪
-♪ How do you do? ♪

-♪ This job's for me ♪
-♪ This job's for me ♪

-♪ The rest is poo ♪
-♪ The rest is poo ♪

♪ The rest... ♪

[both]
♪ Is poo ♪

[laughs]

-My turn, yeah?
-Okay, your turn.

Yeah, listen, um...

[sings]

-[both laughing]
-Yeah!

So, what did I say?
What did I say?

Oh, it's a long story.

-Okay.
-It's a-- Okay, all right.

♪ Al pasar la barca ♪

Yeah?
"Al pasar la barca."

means I'll pasar...
the boat.

-The boat.
-When the boat cross
in front of you.

Okay. At the passing
of the boat.

Uh-huh.

The man in the boat say,
the beautiful girl.

"All beautiful girl,
come be with me without money."

Okay, beautiful girls
don't pay to get on the boat.

Yeah, but the
beautiful girls say,

"I'm not a beautiful girl.

"I don't want to be
a beautiful girl.

I want to pay."

-Ah. Okay.
-[laughs]

-That is the story.
-Okay.

All the beautiful girls
can come on the boat for free,

but the girl says, "I don't
want to be a beautiful girl."

-Yeah.

-"I'm gonna pay."
-Oh, okay.

Okay...

[both continue singing]

All right, remember now,
good pace, okay?

Good pace, all right?

The job's already yours.

Yeah, okay.

Nice and erect.

Shoulders, shoulders.

Beautiful.

That's amazing.

Do you realize
you make a transfer

every two and a half seconds?

You could put
a Swiss watch on it.

I mean, without ever
even moving your...

It's wonderful.

You made me want
to be a woman.

I have that effect on people.

Are you studying me now
to play an office worker?

Oh, no, no.

My friend's up for the role.

She's in there now.

[giggles]

Yes.

[sighs]

[clears throat]

I have no idea.

Not a clue.

Bull.

He didn't say a thing.

Maybe it's mine.

Maybe it's not.

But I did it.

But you did it.

And one thing I do know.

What's that?

I'm never setting foot
in that market again.

[laughs]
See?

Strong ending.

You're making me so proud.

Ten items or less.

Ask me again.

-Keepers?
-Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Ten items or less.

This.

Okay.

Now you have eight.

[sighs]

Can I have another?

As many as you want.

It's not my lane anymore.
I'm retired.

[both laugh]

Yeah.

Guess...

Guess it's time, huh?

You got some idea
where we're going?

Not a fucking clue.

[laughs]

You can always make a stop.

Like the rest of America.

[cash register beeping]

Can you tell me
how to get to Brentwood?

♪ Couple in the next room ♪

♪ Bound to win a prize ♪

♪ They've been going at it
All night long ♪

♪ Well, I'm trying
To get some sleep ♪

♪ But these motel walls
Are cheap ♪

♪ Lincoln Duncan is my name
And here's my song ♪

♪ Here's my song ♪

♪ My father was a fisherman ♪

♪ My mama was
A fisherman's friend ♪

♪ And I was born in the boredom
And the chowder ♪

♪ So when I reached my prime ♪

♪ I left my home
In the Maritimes ♪

♪ Headed down the turnpike
For New England ♪

♪ Sweet New England ♪

♪ Holes in my confidence ♪

♪ Holes in the knees
Of my jeans ♪

♪ I was left without a penny
In my pocket ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh-whee ♪

♪ I was about as destituted
As a kid could be ♪

♪ And I wished I wore a ring
So I could hock it ♪

♪ I'd like to hock it ♪

♪ Young girl
In a parking lot ♪

♪ Was preaching to a crowd ♪

♪ Singing sacred songs
And reading from the Bible... ♪

[brakes squeal]

Hey, Big D!

How do you like the ride?

Race you to the next light.

I'm calling his wife.

-No, you're not.
-Yeah, I am.

♪ My father was a fisherman ♪

♪ My mama was
A fisherman's friend ♪

♪ And I was born in the boredom
And the chowder ♪

♪ So when I reached my prime ♪

♪ I left my home
In the Maritimes ♪

♪ Headed down the turnpike
For New England ♪

♪ Sweet New England ♪

[turns engine off]

Oh, don't tell me you forgot
which one's yours.

No, I'm pretty sure
this is the one.

You sure?

-Mm-hmm.
-'Cause I don't want
to hear on the news

you got your ass shot off.

[chuckles]
No.

No, I think we're good.

Yeah. Okay.

Think you can find
your way back?

You could always stop
and ask for directions.

Got it. Thank you.

Okay.

Look, um...

I'd love to hang, but...

it's a school night...

and I got work tomorrow.

You do?

I do.

You do?

I do.

Your class project.

That's the one, yeah.

Oh. You're gonna commit.

Well, uh...

Say it.

Say the word.

Say it.

"Co..."

[both]
Commit.

Oh, qué bueno.

Congratulations.

Well, not even sure
the damn thing is going to go.

Director's so young,
he hasn't even been born yet.

Nonetheless...

This is our pact.

We live.

We work.

We're just getting started.

Just getting started.

We'll never see
each other again.

Never.

♪ I know, I know, I know
I know, I know, I know ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

[all]
Olé!

[all laugh]

♪ I'll individually slice
Each finger on my left hand ♪

♪ Before I give you
The last laugh ♪

♪ And that's the passion
That I fell for this ♪

A little more than blood sweat
For this ♪

♪ Commuter jetliners
Place my feet ♪

♪ Squarely on the ground
Where the realest meet ♪

♪ Then I hit 'em
With a strong song ♪

♪ And I'm hoping that I shook
The sad song ♪

♪ From the girl that walked in
With the aching heart ♪

♪ In a world fucked up
About to fall apart ♪

♪ It ain't a game
But a deadly art ♪

♪ El enemigo dispara
Before you start ♪

♪ Ay, cabrón ♪

♪ Where my people? ♪

♪ Every body come on... ♪

[laughs]

[phone ringing]

[phone ringing continuous]

Easy Build Construction.
Good afternoon.

Oh, uh, Mr. Holcomb?

Oh, yes, sir.
The-- The-- The plywood order.

But there was--

There has been a terrible
traffic mix-up on the 405.

It should be on its way soon.

Okay. Bye-bye.

Beautiful.

Okay, ladies and gentlemen,

this two-pack here
sells for 21.99.

-Right.
-But we're gonna go ahead
and we're gonna give you--

We're gonna give you
the second one absolutely free.

...absolutely free,
plus, the mop.

Plus... right?

For those of you
who let me know right now--

You got to cue them, okay?

"For those of you
who let me know right now."

And then always
be nodding your head.

That's really,
really important,

because it's almost
like hypnosis.

Like, you nod your head,
they nod their head, you know?

-Okay, so--
-And then they're convinced

that it's a good price,
and they're gonna buy it.

-Okay.
-Never do anything negative.

And you always say,
"I know you want one,
and you want one too."

I assume before they even raise
their hand they want one.

-That they're already there.
-"Here's what you're
gonna take home."

-You just assume that sale.
-Okay. So--

And so you--
We sell these for 21.99.

But as an introductory offer,
we're gonna give you, uh--

You buy one,
you get one free.

Plus we're going
to give you the mop.

-No, no, no, no.
-We're not gonna
give them the mop.

No, first,
you need to nod your head.

-Nod your head. Okay.
-That's really important, okay?

So you go ahead
and take home the first one.

-Take home.
-Take home.

-They're already buying.
-Yeah, you're buying this.

-You take home the first one...
-For 21.99.

...and we're gonna throw in
the second one-- 21.99.

We're gonna give you
the second one for free.

Get the second one
absolutely free.

Buy one, get one
is our standard package.

And then, for those of you
who let me know right now...

And then, for those of you
who let me know right now--

No, no. Raise your hand.
It's real important, okay?

You know, you can just lay this
out on the table.

-You don't have to hold it.
-Okay.

[all laughing]

[laughing]

[humming]

[Scarlet and Him singing]

[Scarlet laughing]

[all clap]