Original subtitles

¶¶

¶ Look at that sun Look at that sky

¶ Look at my sweater vest I look so fly

¶ Look at that mailbox Look at that tree

¶ It's about as beautiful as it can be

¶ Whoa

¶ Today is gonna be exceptional

¶ Never boring even for a minute

¶ It's my world and we're all livin' in it

¶ Whoa, whoa

¶ Never boring even for a minute

¶ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ¶

MELISSA: I really like the food court.

There's something for everyone.

I know what you mean.

I love the smell of Mango-Mexi-China-Greco- falafel-Canadian food.

(CELL PHONE RINGS) Milo, where are you?

Hey, Melissa, I'm sorry I'm late.

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

I'll be up in a second.

Okay. Without my phone, apparently.

No problem. But hurry up, though.

This is starting to feel like a date.

(SCOFFS) You wish.

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) Hey, Lydia, Coach, Scott the undergrounder.

Funny seeing you here.

I mean, not that it's funny for you to be at the mall,

but more coincidental that we'd all be on the same elevator.

I usually take the stairs.

(LOUD THUD) (ELEVATOR POWERING DOWN)

And you just couldn't take the stairs today, huh?

Uh-oh, I'm having feelings.

We're trapped.

And the walls are closing in!

Okay, okay, let me out. Uh, Scott?

I gotta get out of here. (SHRIEKS) Scott. Scott!

Let me out. It's okay. Take it easy.

Your whole life is in confined spaces.

You live in a cave.

(SHRIEKS) Oh, that's right. I live in a cave.

Yeah. I live in a cave?

(SHRIEKING) I live in a cave!

Why do I live in a cave?

MELISSA: Is Scott doing a rain dance?

(SIGHS) Who knows.

DAKOTA: Oh, Cavendish, where are you?

Okay, I got lunch.

We got a large fry,

a super-large double-decker hamburger,

two milkshakes and... (FLY BUZZING)

You've got a bug on your face!

Oops. Sorry, I forgot I was holding the tray.

This is my life now.

And don't worry,

I saved one of the shakes.

(SLURPING) Mmm. Delicious, and that...

Oh, and this one's mine 'cause I...

'Cause I just drank out of it.

It's not the shake, it's Cavendish.

We've looked everywhere, we've done everything,

(STAMMERS) I can't think of anything else.

I just wish I knew what he was thinking.

(IMITATING CAVENDISH) Oh, balderdash, Dakota,

you are worthless as a partner and a human being.

Does that help? That's, uh...

That's my best Cavendish. Sorry.

Thanks. But unless you can actually be Cavendish,

I don't think it's gonna help.

I wish I hadn't spent the money on the costume.

Wait a minute. Maybe that's it.

You said it before. What we need to do is get inside his head.

You know, think like the perp.

I think I know just exactly what you're looking for.

But, you know, first let me finish this shake.

(SLURPING) Mmm. Mmm.

So are you gonna... In a minute.

(SLURPING) Mmm. Mmm.

Okay. Okay, thanks.

Well, they don't think they'll get it working anytime soon.

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) They said it looks like

everything that could go wrong did go wrong.

Now, why does that sound familiar? (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

But they're sending someone to rescue us.

In the meantime, we just have to sit tight.

"Sit tight"?

I'm gonna miss my lassoing class.

(MUMBLING) This was belt-testing day.

I was gonna move up from Greenhorn to Buckaroo.

Belt had a big-old silver buckle on it and whatnot...

(GASPS) Ooh.

This situation could be good fodder for my improv troop.

You have a troop?

I live by myself in Subterranus.

(IMITATES ECHO) Terranus, terranus, terranus.

Stop saying "terranus" at me.

Hey, look at the bright side.

In today's busy world, who has the time to just relax for a while?

Just sit down and chat, to get to know some new friends.

This could be great!

I'd rather take my chances with the emergency hatch.

Hey, freaky mole man. (WHISTLING) Yeah?

Give me a boost.

(BONES CRACKING)

You okay? Oh, yeah, I'm fab.

Oh, I was talking to Scott.

Oh, no problem.

My back is double-jointed.

And my head has the tensile strength the mighty guava.

You can... You can get off now.

DOOFENSHMIRTZ: It's simple. All I had to do was get a sample

of Cavendish's DNA and put it inside my Clonanator.

Your Clonanator?

Hey, man, you wanna get inside Cavendish's head?

(WHIRRING)

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

I give you... (EXPLOSION)

...Cavendish's head!

On a platypus body.

Whoa!

What did you do?

Okay, okay, I can see how

on first glance, this might appear, you know,

an abomination.

It is an abomination.

I can hear you.

Okay, the style is film noir.

The location is the volcano.

And I'm coming to get a haircut.

(INHALES SHARPLY) Go.

Hello, madame.

What a dark, creepy volcano salon you have.

Why, thank you for coming.

Your hairdresser today is my brother Reginald.

Pay no attention to the monkey on his shoulder.

Man, I don't know what's going on.

I'll be the hair dryer.

Whooshy-whooshy-whoo!

(SLURPING)

So, why does the hairdresser have a monkey on his shoulder?

DAKOTA: Wait, but why... Why a platypus body?

Ugh, you know how long it would take

to clone an entire adult human Cavendish?

We would've been here all afternoon.

This was just easier. But why a platypus body?

I already had the platypus DNA.

Look, you wanted to get inside his head,

there's his head.

Now, get in there. (SIGHS)

Okay. So you've got the head and thoughts of Cavendish,

so where is he now?

I'm not psychic.

I mean, I'm 15 minutes old.

You're lucky I can even talk.

Ooh, can you lay eggs?

Oh, I hope not.

Ignore him.

If you were going to go rogue,

where would you go?

I highly doubt that I would... (CHUCKLES)

"Go rogue."

Doesn't sound like me at all.

Okay, that accent.

Is that real or you're just trying to make us feel inferior?

Hold on! (THUDS)

Look, you went rogue and you disappeared.

We have to find you.

Okay, this is ridiculous.

And that is an act against nature itself.

Look, fellas,

I don't know where your friend is.

I don't have all of Cavendish's memories,

the lifetime of experiences that make him unique.

I only share his DNA,

and only from here up, apparently,

because this one was in a hurry.

You're ungrateful.

(SIGHS)

I guess, I have to accept the fact

that I may never see Cavendish again.

Well, I'm terribly sorry. I really am.

It's just too bad you don't know what he was looking for.

Then, if you found that, (CHUCKLES)

you'd probably find him.

Of course! Cavendish was looking for proof

that he saw a UFO.

We need to find that UFO.

And you've got to stop doing that.

Oh, leave me alone.

And, scene.

Very nice Cockney accent, Coach.

(IN COCKNEY ACCENT) Well, I did do a little theater

in the day I did, I did, guv'nor.

What next?

Oh, let's do the Two Truths and a Lie game.

And you know, get to know a little about each other.

LYDIA: Okay. Two truths and a lie.

I have a collection of creepy masks.

I once ate an entire book.

I have incredibly strong fingernails.

Incredibly strong fingernails, huh?

(EXCLAIMS) Which one is the lie?

Oh, I know.

The lie is that her name isn't really Lydia.

Uh, no. My name is Lydia

and that wasn't one of your choices.

Oh, okay. I don't think you ate a book.

(SIGHS) You're right.

Not a whole one anyway. (METAL CLANGING)

(ALL SCREAM)

Well, at least we stopped,

but we're still between floors.

Okay. That's it.

I don't want my last act on Earth to be playing a word game

with two of my PE students

and a subterranean vagrant.

Oh, no. Wait! I know what we can do.

Rather than wait around for them to rescue us,

we should use our skills to get us out of here.

What do you mean, our skills?

I mean, like your burgeoning lassoing skills, Coach.

And you, too, Lydia.

Your unusually strong fingernails

just might be able to pry these doors apart.

I'm on it.

Scott, if your head is as strong as you say it is,

we can use it to wedge the doors open.

You've got it, Judy.

(STRAINING)

Okay, cowboy.

See if you can rope us up a rescue.

I'll sure as heck give it a try.

Good job, Coach.

Okay, everybody.

Heave!

And heave!

And heave!

Okay, Lydia, tie it off.

(ALL CHEERING)

Nice work, Milo.

What are we all cheering about?

MILO: Okay, Lydia, you go first.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

MILO: Okay, Scott. You're the last one.

(LOUD THUD)

(METAL CLATTERING)

Hey, guys. Sorry, I'm late.

Well, it's too bad. You missed lunch.

Don't worry. We saved you some.

Wow! Thanks, guys.

So, how was your elevator ride?

It was fun. While you were eating,

I got to get to know some new friends a little better.

Hey, guys, remember, improv session next Tuesday.

Wouldn't miss it. (CHUCKLES) You bet.

I'll have my mill cotton call your mill cotton.

So, Doof, Dakota, what did you guys do while we were gone?

Well, I figured out

that in order to find Cavendish,

I need to find a UFO.

Yeah, and I was told I shouldn't mess with human-platypus cloning.

Aw! I think he's kind of cute.

Do you want a snail?

I do not.

Are you sure?

Hmm? Hmm?

Well, okay, yes.

That is marvelous.

(ALL LAUGHING)

¶ It's my world ¶

Wait! We know where there's a UFO.

Whoa! How is it nobody else knows about this?

Well, we know about it.

Oh, and Cavendish. He knows about it.

Cavendish?

Cavendish?

Cavendish, are you here?

Oh, no!

Cavendish!

He's in here.

Oh, no.

Wait, wait. I need something heavy.

(GRUNTING)

Stop! (WHIMPERS)

I got you.

Dakota!

The aliens are coming back!

And they're coming for Milo!

Oh, no.

(POPS)

Oh, good heavens.

Ha! You laid an egg. I knew it!

¶ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ¶

(ALARM BLARING)

Uh, sir, we've detected

several cloaked UFOs descending over Danville.

My word!

We gotta send an agent out to deal with this, right away.

(SIREN WAILS)

Wow! Is it 5:00 already?

Got any plans tonight?

Uh, stream a movie and chill. You?

Oh, just gonna have dinner with the missus.

Oh, uh, you better send Agent P out there.

Okay, but I'm considering that overtime.

MONOGRAM: Fine. (SWITCH CLICKS)

What did you say?

The aliens are coming for Milo.

(COUGHS) Again.

(LOUD RUMBLING)

(BARKING) Diogee.

(CONTINUES BARKING)

(SNARLING)

What is it, boy?

Not again.

You'd think being levitated would be fun, but... Ugh.

Milo!

MILO: I have to admit, this technology's impressive,

to just overwrite gravity and lift someone off...

Oh! Spoke too soon.

Melissa, Zack!

(BARKS) Milo!

Hang on!

MELISSA: I'm trying!

(MELISSA STRAINING)

Milo!

Oh, no. Catch him.

Uh, was he wearing that the whole time?

(GASPS) My word! What do we do now?

That... (SIGHS)

...is a good question.

(WHIMPERING)

But what do they want Milo for?

Maybe they want to know why he went rogue

and left his best friend high and dry?

Oh, wait! No, that was you.

And I'm still mad at you.

None of this is helping.

ALL: Sorry.

We need to go after the aliens to save Milo.

And unless one of you has your own spaceship I'm not aware of,

we need to get this one working again.

She's right. Let's take a look at this equipment

and see if we can figure any of it out.

You wiped my memory.

To protect you.

Look, can we talk about this later?

You were only thinking about yourself.

I was wrong, Dakota.

I am sorry.

Yeah. All right.

Still good to see you. Come on. Bring it in.

You still owe me a burrito.

Look, before you say anything, Perry the Platypus,

I just wanna say,

this going good thing has been really hard for me,

and I needed to know that you were in my corner.

And then when I saw that you were just getting paid

to babysit me, I just... I just...

"Deposited to

"Professor Time Industries?"

You took that money and invested it

to fund my path to becoming Professor Time?

You did that for me?

So, it wasn't about the money.

Right. Of course.

I mean, what does a platypus need with money anyway?

You just live off the land like a vagabond,

moving from one platy-place to another.

I don't really know where you live.

Isn't this great?

We're all back together again.

The gang's all here.

Um, except for Milo,

who was abducted

and is in grave danger.

Yeah, all right, Captain Bring-down.

ALIEN: Eventually, we'll have to bring him inside

and his negative probability ions could destroy the ship.

Which is why we brought six ships.

And you two will be in charge

of moving him from ship to ship to ship.

Like if one blows up into smithereens,

you just move him to the next one,

until that blows up into smithereens...

I can count on you, right?

Yes, ma'am. We will not let you down.

We are team players,

we organized the Christmas party.

We can do this. Right, Cone?

(STAMMERS)

He'll be right back.

Coward!

I... You can still count on me.

(GRUNTS)

Ugh, all right. Why do you keep abducting me?

You can't do that.

Ah, thank you for the feedback.

Please, do not get any closer.

Seriously, this is the second time.

What am I doing here?

We need your help, Milo.

Then why didn't you just ask me?

Ah... Huh.

It didn't occur to us to ask.

Well, it's rude.

Yanking someone off their planet.

What if I don't wanna go into...

Space.

Whoa!

Yeah. Not bad for unfathomable abyss, huh?

We have to get this ship working

and into space to find Milo.

Yeah, but how do we do that?

Why, this is all alien technology.

Who knows anything about that?

Besides, you know the obvious, aliens.

Well, I have managed to decipher some of it.

Here I've pieced together this schematic of the bridge.

During the crash, an important component

appears to have fallen out here.

Without it, you'll never get

this rust bucket working again.

(GASPS) I think I may have just the thing.

Doof and I picked this up on our rounds.

Well done, Dakota.

(CHUCKLES) That looks like the very thing.

Wait, wait. (ENERGY PULSATING)

Ugh! Ooh!

What happened to my bones? What happened to my bones?

Oh, it'll wear off. Don't worry.

Okay. How are we gonna get this thing in the wall?

Okay, seeing space was extremely inspiring and all,

but you have to tell me why you brought me here to your ship.

I promise, there will be time for that,

but right now, I need you to just sit still and not move.

Keep those negative probability ions from running amok.

Here, we picked up some Earth furniture for you

from one of your outdoor furniture stores.

Sit down, sit down. Get nice and comfy,

and don't move, please, for the remainder of our trip.

This chair smells bad.

No need to thank us.

Let's try to get nice and relaxed, and motionless.

Here. I can make it more comfortable.

(CREAKING)

Ow.

Oh, my. I am so sorry about that.

I... Milo, don't move.

What is this?

It's an access hatch to the engine venting system.

Just try to crawl off very slowly.

It's a solid hatch. There's no reason

it should suddenly open unless... (SCREAMING)

...you happen to be you.

Milo, hang on. We'll lower a rope to you.

Could you first shut off this fan?

Okay. Also a good idea. Just hang on.

I'm trying, but my hands are starting to slip.

If only I could...

Phew. Well, at least that won't chop me up.

(SCREAMS)

Hang on, Milo.

What is this stuff?

It's an air filter for the engine venting system

made of the softest fibers found anywhere in the universe

woven into a bed-like filter,

then electrified with almost a million volts. Ah.

Just take the rope and we'll pull you up. (SHATTERING)

Look out!

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

(ALARM BLARING) What's happening?

Well, that blade and burning filter

just plunged into our engine down below.

Can you repair it?

Do those sound like "We can repair it" alarms?

Let's just keep you moving, all right?

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

¶ Hey ¶ Hey

¶ Hey, you better watch yourself

¶ Here I come I'm running off the rails

¶ Hey ¶ Hey

¶ Hey, a storm is brewing

¶ We've got to throw the shoe in before something fails

¶ We're going down, down, down

¶ I swear you'd better

¶ Just beware I'm a catastrophe

¶ I'm a catastrophe

¶ It's more than static

¶ I'm a catastrophe

¶ I may be problematic

¶ I'm a catastrophe

¶ It's automatic A catastrophe

(ALARM BLARING)

¶ Hey ¶ Hey

¶ Hey, you better get away

¶ I am a cycle of calamity

¶ Hey ¶ Hey

¶ Excuse the indiscretion

¶ But I'm gonna be messing with your sanity

¶ We're going down, down, down

¶ I swear you'd better

¶ Just beware I'm a catastrophe

¶ I'm a catastrophe

¶ It's automatic

¶ I'm a catastrophe

¶ Emotions in a panic

¶ I'm a catastrophe

¶ I'm in the attic. A catastrophe ¶

So, is everyone clear on the plan?

Yes. It's terrible.

Ready? Go.

(PULSATING)

Ew.

Ew. All my organs are touching each other.

It is so much worse than I thought it would be.

You know, you don't really appreciate your bones until you lose them.

You know, we could have just used tongs

or a shovel or something to pick it up. (SCOFFS)

Guess I should have thought of that five minutes ago.

Remind me to punch you when we have bones again.

Okay, abomination, you're up.

Why does he even exist again?

It's a long story.

Yes, I am an abomination, but at least I have bones.

(ALL CHEERING)

CAVENDISH: Abomination. Abomination.

Well done, Lobe.

Everything is proceeding according to plan.

What plan? Why am I here?

(METAL CLANKING)

(SQUEAKING)

Uh-oh. This is our last ship.

(CLANGING)

Milo, little help, please.

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa!

Eh. I'm all outta gear.

What do you need?

Um, an inflatable bounce house and a car jack.

You got it. (INHALES SHARPLY)

(INHALES SHARPLY)

Okay, everybody, put the screws back in.

Okay.

I think that should do it. (ALL CHEERING)

Yeah! (AIR HISSING)

All right, guys. Now, out with it.

You take me from my home planet,

you bring me way out here...

Why do you need my help?

Okay. Show him.

(ALL SCREAMING)

What is that?

That is why we need you, Milo.

To stop that before it destroys our world.

But how do... (AIR HISSING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

Melissa, do we have a heading?

All we have to do is follow Milo's bread crumbs.

Or in this case, debris.

Brilliant.

What is it?

I just hope, wherever he is, Milo is safe.

Um... Guys.

Whoa!

ZACK: Is that... Oh, no.

Milo!

¶ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go

¶ Oh, thanks, everybody That is so motivational

¶ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go

¶ Whoa

¶ Whoa

¶ I'm not sitting here watching the world turn

¶ You know I'd rather spin it

¶ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go

¶ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ¶