All language subtitles for Easy.Come.Easy.Go.1967.1080p.WEBRip.x265-RARBG

* Here, there, everywhere

* A craze of love
Is in the air *

* And I fall

* Mmm, day and night for

* So many girls
In every port *

* You've got to be
A juggernaut *

* Full speed ahead,
Or you'll be caught *

* Oh, yeah

* Oh, yeah

* Easy come

* Easy go

* Up down, all around

* Kiss for kiss
And pound for pound *

* Delicious

* Mmm, so nutritious

* Easy come,
Easy go *

* Sailor, beware,
Take it slow *

* Easy come, easy go

* All right

Uh-huh.

* When you want love
To keep you warm *

* There's nothin'
Like a uniform *

* You got a port
In any storm *

* There she blows

* Easy come

* Easy go

* Look down, all around

* Kiss for kiss
And pound for pound *

* Delicious

* Mmm, so nutritious

* Easy come,
Easy go *

* Sailor, beware

* Take it slow

* Easy come, easy go

* Sailor, beware,
Take it slow *

* Easy come, easy go

* Easy come
* Easy come

* Easy go
* Easy go

* Easy come
* Easy come

* Easy go
* Easy go

* Easy come
* Easy come

* Easy go
* Easy go

Hey, what do you suppose
she's trying to tell us?

I don't know,

but whatever it is,
I'm listening.

Hey, Teddy!

Judd!

How are you, old buddy?

Great. It's nice of you
to go to all this trouble.

Dancing girl, a band playing.

It's quite a reception.

Well, it would've been better
if you told me you were coming.

Now, how long
you gonna be in town?

Oh, just a few days.
Our ship's in the bay.

You, uh, you still deactivating
those floating mines?

Yeah.

That's like playing
underwater Russian roulette.

Do you expect to be
a frogman all your life?

Frogman? Please.

It's explosive-
ordnance-disposal man.

And the answer to
your question is no.

What does that mean?

I'm practically a civilian.

Hey, that's great, man.
Well, what are you gonna do?

Anything but go back
in this racket with you.

Oh, now, wait a minute,
all right.

We didn't make much money,

but we turned out some of
the most beautiful sounds

you ever heard.
Now, what do you say?

Thanks, but no, thanks.

I want you to meet my buddies.

Ensigns Tompkins and Whitehead,

Lieutenant Schwartz.
This is Judd.

Hi, fellas.
How are you?

I want you to meet the band.

Hey, guys!

I want you to--

Are you the same guys
that were here yesterday?

You forgot the organ grinder.

Oh, no, no, no.
She doesn't swing.

She just likes to dance.

She comes down to rehearsals

because she figures
it's good exercise--yoga.

You could still introduce us.

Yeah, we haven't seen anything
like that since we shipped out.

How long you been out to sea?

3 days.

3 whole days?

Hey, Jo, come here a minute.

Come here.

I want you to meet
a good friend of mine.

Lieutenant Ted Jackson
and his outfield.

Tompkins, Whitehead,
and Schwartz.

Hi.

I'm Schwartz.

And you are the living end.

Ah, thank you.

You got to watch out for him.

He's a real recruiter.

And not just for the Navy.

Mm, thanks for the warning.

But take me.

I'm an underwater
barnacle scraper.

Relatively harmless.

I think I'd feel safer
with Schwartz,

but I'll let you know

if I ever have any barnacles
that need scraping.

See you around, fellas.

Did you hear that?
Safer with Schwartz.

If that gets around,

it'll ruin my reputation.

You were right, Judd.

She doesn't swing,
not for me, anyway.

Well, there are other numbers
on the wheel of fortune, pal.

You still got the thing with
the phone numbers on it?

You kiddin'?
When it comes to women,

I always leave it to lady luck.

Well, come on, Judd.

Break it out for my friends.

Well, now, wait a minute.
I don't know.

I just added some new blood.

Be a sport. We've
been out of touch.

It's the least you can do
for an old partner.

Well, all right,

but I wouldn't do this
for anybody else.

Come on, you guys.

All right, fellas, break it up.

They want to see the wheel.

Wait till you see it.
You won't believe it.

You guys ready?

Yeah, we have been.

Ok, are the doors locked?

Here we go.

It's a wheel!
With girls!

Wait a minute.
Hold it, now, hold it.

Phone numbers!

Back up, step down,
and stand aside

and let the man
tell you all about it.

Ok, boys!

* Step right up

* To the love machine

* You may get lucky

* Win yourself a dream

* Let the wheel
Go round *

* Round and round

* Well, you may win
That girl *

* You never found

* She may be Suzy

* Or Mabeline

* She could be Cathy

* Or Angeline

* Now let the wheel
Go round *

* Round and round
And round and round *

* Round and round

* Round and round
And round and round *

* Try your luck
Right now *

* On the love
Machine *

* We're just a bunch
Of salty sailors *

* With one thing
On our minds *

* Takin' a chance
On this machine *

* Maybe love we'll find

* She may be tall,
She may be short *

* She may be wide

* But, lady luck,
Stop that wheel *

* On 38-24-35

* Step up

* Who's next in line

* For this love machine?

* Don't waste no time

* Let the wheel go round

* Round and round
And round and round *

* Round and round

* Round and round
And round and round *

* What will your fortune be
On the love machine? *

All right.

* We're just a bunch
Of salty sailors *

* With one thing
On our minds *

* Takin' a chance
On this machine *

* Maybe love we'll find

* She may be tall,
She may be short *

* She may be wide

* But, lady luck,
Stop that wheel *

* On 38-24-35

* Step up

* Next in line

* This love machine

* Don't waste no time

* And let the wheel
Go round *

* Round and round
And round and round *

* Round and round

* Round and round
And round and round *

* What will your fortune be
On the love machine? *

* Hmm

* What will your fortune be
On the love machine? *

Hey!
Hey!

Do you suppose I
could have another--

Aw, no, no, no.

Wait a minute.
Only one to a customer.

That's all. One.
No, no.

Good morning, gentlemen.

Oh, it's a beautiful morning.

What's so beautiful about it?

Don't tell me you picked
a winner last night.

A winner? This girl
was the grea--

I mean, she was so--

well, she was absolutely...

a dog.

Yeah, struck out, too, eh?

What I thought was
her phone number

turned out to be
her statistics--

11-42-16.

Yeah, I think Judd's
wheel is rigged.

My girl was 38-24-38.

What's wrong with that?

It added up to her age.

Now, that's the way
to go to sea.

Small craft approaching
off the port bow, sir.

Very well.

Steady as you go.

Steady as you go.

All engines back full.

All engines back full.

All engines back full, aye, sir.

Sound short blasts.

Say, lady, that was
a dangerous thing to do.

Your boat's bigger than mine.

You have to watch out for me.

Well, you got to admit,
she's got a logical mind.

And a fantastic body.

1, 2, 3.

Too bad, Marty. Your
girl didn't show up.

Hey, there's a guy onboard.

Yeah, and I wish it was me.

If I could live like that,

I'd give this Navy up tomorrow.

You are giving it up, remember?

No.
They're giving me up.

My tour of duty is over.

Not yet.

Going-away gift
from the skipper.

It's an E.O.D.
assignment.

Where is it?

Coast guard picked up
a sonar contact

near Rocky Point.

They think it's a mine.

Mine? In these waters?

Better suit up. We'll be
there in a half hour.

Tell Cooper to break out
the aluminum tanks.

See you later, fellas.

It's an old magnetic mine,
all right.

Foreign. I think we should
take it back to the base.

Probably dropped off a sub.

We'd better disarm it
underwater.

Ok, lieutenant,

but don't take any
unnecessary chances.

That hazardous-duty pay
won't do you much good

if you're not around
to collect it.

Thanks, Cooper.
I'll keep that in mind.

I'll pull on my marker buoy

when it's safe
and I'm coming up.

You clear out of the area.

Lieutenant, I'm supposed
to stay here with you.

Better get going.

This is where
he was dropped off.

Wonder why they went off
and left him.

Maybe they don't like him.

Must be something
dangerous down there.

Nah. What could be
dangerous down there?

Well, why don't you
go down and find out?

Get that boat out of here.

Ok!

Go on, Gil, you can go overboard
without them seeing you,

and then I'll circle around
and pick you up later.

Come on, look, you can't
fool around with the Navy.

It wouldn't be the first time.

Get that boat out of here!

This is a restricted area!

All right!

Go on, Gil.

What's the matter,
are you scared?

No, I'm not, but why
should I get wet

just to satisfy your curiosity?

Are you afraid of
mussing your hair?

I'll bring back
a picture of that frogman

for your collection.

Ohh.

Get that boat out of here!

You heard me!
Get it out of here!

Where's that Navy boat?

Over there heading towards us.

Let's get out of here.

Hey, look!

Hey, give me a hand.

Ok, there were radio warnings.

This area was restricted.
What's the big idea?

Oh, I never listen to the radio.

Too many commercials.

Vicki, Mary,
give me a hand.

You trying to tell me
that you're the skipper?

Well, I give the orders,
if that's what you mean.

Is the mine safe now?

Well, I'm not worried about
the mine. I'm worried about you.

Did you order him
to take my picture?

That stunt can get you
in a lot of trouble.

Look, that's all
it was--just a stunt.

We're not enemy spies
or anything so romantic.

Just old friends
out for a few laughs.

You can understand that.

Oh, I understand.
I saw you earlier.

Give me that film.

Give it to him, Gil.

Well, now that we're friends,

how about a martini?

You sure know how to
hurt a guy, don't you?

Thanks, but some other time
when I'm not working.

Hey, Cooper, catch.

Hold it steady.

See you around, folks.

Too bad we didn't get
to keep his picture.

Yeah, too bad.

Ohh.

Say, Cooper, what would happen

if you found something
of value while on duty?

Why? What'd you find,
lieutenant?

I found a million dollars
in gold on an old shipwreck.

Sure you did.

Well, I can dream, can't I?

Really, what would happen
if you did find something?

I think it belongs to the Navy
if you tell them about it,

but I'm not sure
if that includes girls.

All hands, man the air valves!

Start the compressors!

Lower away!

Steady as she goes.

Careful now.
Don't foul my air line.

That's it.
You're doing fine, boys.

Let her down easy.

We're nearing the bottom.
Take it easy, everybody.

Steady, steady.

Eureka!
We've hit the bottom!

Ahoy!

Oh, it's beautiful down here.

The fish are just sailing by.

Some of the species
I've never seen before.

And the atmosphere
is perfectly wonderful.

It's beautiful down here.

Positively beautiful.

Don't foul that air line.

Steady, boys, steady.

Come in.

Captain Jack?

Yeah, I'm Captain Jack.

Sorry. I couldn't wait until you
surfaced to talk with you.

I, uh, I didn't know
anyone was watching.

That's quite a gadget.

Yes, yes, indeed.

I get a great deal of
enjoyment out of this.

At the moment,
I'm quite embarrassed.

I've never done this
in public before.

You're not gonna dive
in that, are you?

Oh, no, no.

I wouldn't have the nerve
to actually dive.

But I'd like to, so I pretend.

It's just a little game.

I try to do everything
as realistic as possible.

Would you help me off
with that back there?

Certainly.

Aren't you in
the wrong business?

No, no, certainly not.

I've been collecting information
on salvaging for 20 years.

I'm really quite
an authority, you know.

That's why I'm here.
I've been asking around,

and I heard that you
were the man to see.

Yes, sir. I am definitely
the man to see.

About what?

I want to know about a ship
that went down off the point

around the turn of the century.

You have indeed come
to the right man.

Great many ships went down
in these rough waters,

as you can see from
this geodetic survey map.

It's upside down, captain.

You are very observant.

The Sicilian--
1906,

the Gauntlet in 1880--

I'm interested in a ship
named the Port of Call.

Port of Call?
There she is.

A beautiful brigantine.

I knew the skipper's son
very, very well.

There she is.

Like a Sleeping Beauty

waiting for her Prince Charming.

Mm-hmm.

Of course, the map
could be wrong.

The location is a theory

based entirely on
old lighthouse records.

Do you know where
these records are?

Yes. The skipper's only living
relative Jo Symington has them.

Where can I find this Symington?

In a big old house
at the end of Silver Canyon.

Name is on the mailbox.
You can't miss it.

One last thing, captain.

Have you got any idea
what the ship was carrying

when she went down?

Oh, yes.

Jo told me.

Come on down here.
Shh shh shh.

The Port of Call was carrying
something very valuable

from the Argentine.

A treasure.

Yeah?

Or was it bananas?

No. No.
That was the Gauntlet.

I remember it now.

The Port of Call
had a cargo of...

coconut oil.

Coconut oil?

Or perhaps it was tea.

I think I better see
this Joe Symington.

Yeah, I think you'd better.

Thanks a lot, captain.
You've been a great help.

Oh, it's perfectly all right.

Anything for the Navy.

Thank you, sir.
Oh, just a minute.

Uh, you're not gonna
tell anybody anything

about my little
diving game, are you?

No. I won't talk
if you won't.

Oh, I won't.

I don't want it to get around

that I'm asking
about the Port of Call.

Top secret. So keep it
under your helmet, all right?

Mum's the world.
Double mum.

Yeah. Thanks.

Now from the lotus,

we serenely flow
into the attitude

of the dancing Shiva.

Develop our equilibrium.

Oh, uh, yes.

Yes.

Now breathe in...

and breathe out.

I'm looking for Joe Symington.

Go away. This is
for members only.

How do I join?

You can start by taking
your clothes off.

What?

Just a minute.

Now take your clothes off
and put these on.

Where?

Right around the corner,
and be very quiet.

Breathe in...

and out.

Now exhale.

More. Get it all out.

More.

And once more the dancing Shiva.

I'd like to talk
to, uh--

Shh.

I'd like to
talk to Joe Symington.

You can't until
yoga class is over.

I haven't got time.

Come on, make the scene
or split. Dig?

I don't know anything
about yoga.

Who does?

Uh, excuse me, uh--

Young man, you are
causing ripples

on the waters of peace
and contentment.

I didn't mean to make waves,

but I'm looking for somebody.

We are all searching
for someone,

yearning to communicate
across a void

of spiritual isolation.

Now, what we are
concerned with here

are the means.

And now, young man,
either shape up or ship out.

If you'll just--

Sit down!

Yes, sir.
Uh, ma'am.

What do you know?

The barnacle scraper.

Hi.

We will now once more
attempt to attain

that state of tranquillity

before we were
so rudely interrupted.

I'm sorry.

And now the spinal twist.

The spinal twist.

Now hold

and meditate.

Uhh. Not that way.
Arch your back

and lock your arm
around your knee.

Like this.

Maybe I better just ship out.

Well, you are in
the Navy, aren't you?

I may be 4F after this.

Well, good. You can go
back to work for Judd.

He likes offbeat talent.

I can see that.

My picture and numbers

aren't on his wheel of fortune,

if that's what you mean.

Now back to the lotus.

Who are you looking for?

Joe Symington.
Do you know him?

He's me.

What?

Josephine.

You're Jo Symington?

Dear man, I have tried very
hard to be patient with you,

but if you continue
to disrupt my class

with your chattering,

I shall be forced to
clobber you on the cruller!

Can we go someplace and talk?

Sure. Come on.

* Well, I can see that you
And yoga *

* Will never do

* Yoga is as yoga does

* There's no in-between

* You're either with it,
On the ball *

* Or you've blown
The scene *

* I can see,
Looking at you *

* You just
Can't get settled *

* How can I even move

* Twisted like a pretzel?

* Yoga is as yoga does

* There's no in-between

* You're either with it
All the way *

* Or you've blown
The scene *

* Or you've blown
The scene *

* Come on, come on,
Untwist my legs *

* Pull my arms a lot

* How did I
Get so tied up *

* In this yoga knot?

* You tell me just how I

* Can take this yoga
Serious *

* When all it ever
Gives to me *

* Is a pain
In my posterius? *

* Yoga is as yoga does

* There's no in-between

* You're either with it
All the way *

* Or you've blown
The scene *

* Or you've blown
The scene *

* Stand upside down,
On your head *

* Feet against the wall

* A simple yoga exercise

* Done by one and all

* Now cross your eyes
And hold your breath *

* Look just like a clown

* Yoga's sure to catch you

* If you come fallin' down

* Yoga is as yoga does

* There's no in-between

* You're either with it
All the way *

* Or you've blown
The scene *

* Or you've blown
The scene *

Beautiful!

That really grooves.

Man, that turns me on.

It's a form of art.

It's called
a "happening."

Looks more like a smashup
in an Italian restaurant.

It's too much.

Crazy.

What's that?

Watch.

What's going on?

Some kind of new group therapy?

No. We're just a bunch of people
who like to live a free life.

Artists and sculptors,

they come here because
it's remote and it's beautiful,

a perfect place
to be alone and--

Paint with spaghetti

and girls.

People always make fun of things
they don't understand.

It's human nature.

Oh, I understand spaghetti.
I even eat it.

I just don't understand it
as a shampoo.

I'll admit some of
the work they do is pretty wild,

but it's a sincere attempt to
break loose from convention.

They're doing that, all right.

But you haven't told me
what brings you here.

I'm doing a manual
on early sea disasters.

I was told you might
be able to help me.

Who told you?

Captain Jack.

That old phony. He can't
keep anything to himself.

I'm interested in one
ship in particular--

the Port of Call.

You aren't the first one.

I've had hundreds of
get-rich-quick creeps

asking about
my grandfather's ship.

Come on.

This is more like I expected.

This was my father's room.

It's the only one I haven't
redecorated I nearly far-out.

It's beautiful.

Thank you. Well,
what would you like to know?

Captain Jack says

you have some
lighthouse records.

That's right.
It was the lighthouse keeper

who saw the Port of Call
go down.

That's how we know where she is.

Why are fortune hunters
after the ship?

Coconut oil would be pretty rank

after all this time.

Coconut oil?

The Port of Call
was carrying coffee...

and a chest filled
with Spanish pieces of eight.

Well, there are a lot of rumors

about old ships
and sunken treasure.

I'm afraid I'd be
more interested

in historical fact.

Oh, this isn't just
a rumor. It's true.

It says so right here
on the manifest.

I got it from
the shipping company.

Hmm.

Interesting.

Very interesting.

I'm glad you're interested
in history and not money.

I don't know how to thank you.

You've been
an awful lot of help.

Just let me read the manual
when you finish writing it.

Sure. You'll be
the first one.

And come back anytime.

Next week, we're having
a real bash-up here.

Bring your own spaghetti?

Next week,
it's cold beet borscht

with sour cream.

I'll try to make it.

Thanks again.

Well, is it official?

Yup.

Congratulations, civilian.

Thank you.

Let's go.

Jo told you all that?

She showed me the manifest.

It has the exact description

of the chest I saw in the wreck.

Listen, baby, that's
an awful lot of strain

just for a bunch of old pesos.

Judd, those old pesos
are probably solid silver

and worth about $30 apiece
to a collector.

There may be thousands
of them in that chest.

All right,
so it's a lot of bread,

but it's still gamble time.

Look, life's a gamble.

I'm willing to put up

every dime of my
terminal leave pay--

a thousand bucks.

You should put up
at least the same

to help pay for
the boat and equipment.

You sure you just weren't high
on rapture of the deep?

I might have been,

if the ship was where
the map said it went down,

but the tide must
have broken it up

and carried this section of
hull into shallower water.

I don't know.
That underwater jazz.

All them things with
the big eyes and jellyfish.

Look, all you have to do

is handle the boat
while I'm down below.

What do you say?

Your half will set you
up solid for life.

My half?
Well, what about Jo?

After all, it's
her grandfather's boat.

It's not a job for a girl,

but we do need to
hire another guy

to handle the winches
and the compressor.

Now, what do you say?
You with me,

or do I have to get
2 other guys?

All right. All right,
I'll go along. One condition.

What's that?

If we blow it,
you come back here,

work at your old salary.

You used to pay me off
in warm beer.

I'll throw in an ice cube.

It's a lousy deal, but I accept.

A lousy--for who?

How do I know if you can
still turn that crowd on?

Give me an intro.

You're on, buddy.

Ladies and gentlemen,
I have a nice surprise for you.

An old friend of mine,

as a matter of fact,
my ex-partner,

just out of the service
and a fine singer,

will favor us with a tune.

So how about a nice round
of applause for Ted Jackson?

Ok, Ted,
what are you gonna sing?

Stop!
You're wrong again!

And a-1 and a-2 and a-3
and a-4 and the spot.

* Baby, you've been
Lying to me *

* Now I'm onto you

* It's the same old song

* But it doesn't ring true

* That's right

* You're wrong again

* Time to change and put
You on your own again *

* You've

* Had your way too long

* Time for me to be Moving on *

* You got to stop

* You're wrong again

* Stop

* That song again

* You've been stepping out

* Out and fancy-free

* Now you've had your fun

* And you're running
Back to me *

* It just can't be
If there's no harmony *

* Then stop

* That's all

* Let's break it up

* You had me fooled,
Now I'm waking up *

* I see right through
Your lie *

* You made me
Open my eyes *

* You got to stop

* You're wrong again

* Stop

* That song again

* It's too late now

* I've made up my mind

* Being here with you was
Just a waste of time *

* Nothing to say,
So I'll be on my way *

* Stop

* You got to stop

* You're wrong again

* Stop

* That song again

* It's too late now

* I've made up my mind

* Being here with you

* Was just a waste of time

* It just can't be
If there's no harmony *

* Then stop

* Stop

* You're wrong again

* Stop

* That song again

* Stop

* You're wrong again

* You got to stop

* That song again

* Stop

Hey, baby!

All right!

We're gonna do
a little dancing now!

Hi.
Hi.

Oh, don't tell me
this is in the line of duty.

Not to the Navy.

Sit down.

Thank you.

Didn't recognize you
with your clothes on.

Hmm. I wasn't sure
it was you either

without your photographer.

I'm Dina Bishop.

Miss Dina Bishop.

Ted Jackson.

Mr. Ted Jackson.

I keep forgetting

that you can call
a naval officer "mister."

I'm not exactly
in the Navy anymore.

Oh? I hope my little stunt
didn't get you fired.

That had nothing to do with it.

I'm just not on active duty.

Well, great.

That means you'll be
around her more often.

All the time.

Would I still be hurting a guy

if I offered
to buy him a martini?

I think I could stand the pain.

Look, the Navy paid me
to take risks.

What makes you
stick your neck out?

I collect excitement

the way most people collect
stamps or butterflies.

I prefer people.

Oh, so do I--

exciting ones.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Well, if it isn't
the minesweeper.

No pictures, please.

Come on, Dina.
Let's get out of here.

I'm not through
with my drink yet.

I'll buy you a drink
someplace else. Come on.

I said later, Gil.

She said later, Gil.

You stay out of it, frogman,

or I'll do more than
just take your picture.

What'd you have in mind?

What'd you do that for?

Oh, I just can't stand
seeing grown men fight,

unless it's over me.

And besides,
it's time to go home,

and I promised you'd drive me.

Who'd you promise?

Me. Come on. Let's go.

She saved him from getting
his teeth knocked out.

She saved somebody.

Hold it.

Thank you.

You know, I can't decide

if I like you better
in uniform or out.

You worry about how your
Christmas gifts are wrapped?

It's what's inside that counts.

We're a little early
for Christmas,

aren't we?

Don't you be
a last-minute shopper.

Uh, by the way,

whatever happened to that
manual you started to write?

Oh, I gave it up
with my active status.

Always use your shoes
for a purse?

Well, it's better
than wearing them.

I mean, they're just another
hang up of the modern world.

And besides, I like the feel
of things against my feet.

Wet sand and grass.

Even carpeting.

It's as though my fingers
can't feel enough,

and they need my toes to help.

You know something?

We have more in common
than I thought.

What are you going to do now?

Right now?

No, I mean, now that the Navy

doesn't take all of your time.

I'd rather talk about
what we're gonna do.

Well, I don't know about you,

but I'm gonna stand on my head.

Stand on your head?

Uh...

don't you think you're
taking this yoga thing

a little too far?

It helps me relax.
Would you like to join me?

No, I think I'll sit
this one out.

No guts, huh?

What are you doing tomorrow?

What do you have in mind?

I just thought
you might like to join

our poetry reading.

Well, uh,
I'm gonna be pretty busy

for the next couple of days,

planning for the future
and everything.

How long do you keep this up?

3 or 4 hours--
till I get sleepy.

3 or 4 hours.

Well, I wouldn't want
to keep you awake.

Good night.

Good night.

Thanks for bringing me home.

Any time.

This is the most exciting
morning of my life.

I'm actually going
for a real treasure.

I've dreamed of this for years.

And you'll have really
made it happen.

I'm terribly grateful
to you two gentlemen.

You did your share,
Captain Jack.

Without this equipment,
we couldn't have made it.

The only thing we
could afford to do

was rent this boat
and the scuba gear.

The sea breeze,

the ocean air,

the lure of adventure.

The bounding main.

Hey, what's the matter?

I--I think I'm sick.

Sick? We haven't
even cast off yet.

Oh, I'm frightened of water.

They call it hydrophobia.

Hydrophobia, that's when
you foam at the mouth.

I think he's going to.

I thought you were
a sea captain.

Well, I had a TV kiddies
adventure program

on Saturday mornings.

I was the captain of
the good ship Lollipop.

Get me off!

Let's get him off.

Get me off!

Get me off!

Ok, ok. Don't look down.
Don't look down.

I gotcha.

Here. There you go.

Those kiddies believed
all my sea stories,

and I tried, but it was
always the same.

I could never make it
past the breakwater.

Uh, captain,

the breakwater's
right over there.

The breakwater.

He's beautiful.

Well, I guess we better
unload this, huh?

No. No, no, no, no.
Uh, you can use the equipment.

I'll just charge you
by the hour.

It won't do us any good.
We need a third man to help.

Hi, fellas!

Hi, Jo!

What are you doing?

Well, we're just
getting ready to--

do a little fishing!

Fishing? But we're
supposed to rehearse.

We're gonna rehearse later, hon.

Great. I'll go with you.

Fine! Come on!

Hey, help me cover
this stuff, will ya?

What'd you do that for?

Well, you said you
needed a third--

A man, not a girl,
especially not that girl.

Why not that girl?

I told you. She thinks
I'm interested in history,

not sunken treasure.

Hey, this is a wild idea.

Hello, Jo.

Captain Jack.

Is anything wrong?

Oh, nothing's wrong.

He's got hydrophobia,
but he won't bite.

Jo, it was nothing.

Just another acute
attack of cowardice.

I'll be all right
in a month or two.

Can I get you anything?
A glass of water?

Oh, no, no.
Not water!

Come on, then I'll
help you back to the shop.

Good idea.
Help him back.

Wait for me.

No, never mind about me.

You go, go have a good time.

Come on,
let's go.

Yeah, I'm ready.

Look, Jo, we may be out all day.

Oh, wonderful.
I brought my lunch.

5 raw carrots and
a jar of prune yogurt.

Prune yogurt--yecch!

I'll cast off the lines.

It won't work, Judd.
It just won't work.

Who else you gonna get?

And who deserves a split
more than she does?

Ok. But we better wait
till we're out there

before we deal her in.
She may not be too happy

I didn't tell her about it
in the first place.

Stern line's clear.

Thank you.

Hope you feel better, captain.

Well, if I'm not,
don't bury me at sea.

Well, now is as good
a time as any.

Look, tell her about
the loot. Build it up.

Every chick I've
ever known digs money.

Take over, will you?

I want to talk to you.

Sure.
You want a carrot?

No, thanks. The only way
I like them is in tzimmes.

What?

Navy talk.

Jo, we're not going fishing.

We're not?

There's something I should have
told you earlier, but, uh...

now that I've waited so long,
it's kind of rough.

Watch it, Judd.

Sorry, Ted.

Diving gear?

Hey, wait a minute.

You were right. This
wasn't any fishing trip.

I can explain it to you.

You don't have to.
I think I get the picture.

Jo, I found a part
of your grandfather's ship,

the part with the chest in it.

That's why you came around
asking questions.

There wasn't any Navy manual.

You're nothing
but a get-rich-quick creep

like all the rest.

Tell her about 1/3!

We plan to give you a share,
but we need your help.

Help?
You brought me out here

thinking I'd go along with this?

It was your idea to come out
here with us, remember?

You even brought your lunch.

Hey, look!

What do you think they want?

I'm not sure,
but there's a guy onboard

who took my picture while
I was deactivating that mine.

Took your picture?
For what?

They were playing games.

He might have seen the wreck
while he was down there.

I don't know.

So what do we do now?

Now we sit here and fish.

Ahoy there.
Where you headed?

Nowhere.
Just doing a little fishing.

What about you?

Oh, we're leaving.

On our way to Baja California.

I didn't want to go
without saying good-bye.

Thank you.
Have a nice trip.

Thank you.

Kind of funny, you stopping
out here to fish.

What's so funny about it?

How come you're
the only one fishing?

Hey, what are you,
the game warden?

What are you trying
to prove, Gil?

Nothing.

It seems funny, that's all.

Hold it here a minute, will you?

Dina, come here.
I want to show you something.

Look at this.

I was getting a little
worried there, buddy.

That cat looked like he was hip

to what we're doing.

I hope they're getting
ready to leave.

We won't have too much
daylight left as it is.

What do you say we be
realistic about this?

I'm not talking to you.

Let's not be childish.

I'm not being childish.
I'm just bugged.

You come on like
we're robbing a bank.

Well, that's just
the way you're acting.

This is stupid. Look,
you give your share to charity

or whatever you want to,
but help us bring it up.

All right, I will, if you
give your share to charity.

Fine. My favorite
charity is me.

That is not what I meant.

We could use the money
to set up an art center

where my friends could live

and study
and improve their work.

Those kooks?

They are not kooks.
They're serious artists

who just need
a decent place to work.

Is it a deal?

Not that way.
You get a third,

I get a third,
and Judd gets a third.

Mexican stand-off.

You're just being hardheaded.

Maybe, but I've got principles,

and that's something
you wouldn't understand.

Hey,
we're in trouble!

You have
to help us!

What's the matter?

Battery cables are busted.

Battery cable? You have
2 engines, don't you?

Both cables are shot!

How can both cables
wear out at the same time?

Just unlucky, I guess.

You'll have to tow us in, Ted.

Yeah. Rule of the sea,
you know.

Ok. Throw us a line.

Thanks for the lift.

Sorry we spoiled your fishing.

Forget it. They weren't
biting anyway.

Well, it won't be so bad,
you singing in my place.

It'll be like old times.

We're not through yet.

We'll come back tomorrow.

Not with me you won't.

You still won't
settle for a third?

Why should I settle for a third
when I can go for broke?

What does that mean?

Well, I know where
it is now, don't I?

And, after all, it was
on my grandfather's ship.

You don't have the equipment

to go treasure-hunting
on your own.

Besides, we're gonna
get there first.

Well, I can try.

And even if I don't
stand a chance,

I wouldn't help you
for anything in the world.

Ok. So I'm an unprincipled,
get-rich-quick creep.

Aside from that,
I'm not all bad.

I'll keep your secret.

Look, would you like me
any better if I hated money,

grew a beard,
and stood on my head?

Any change would be
an improvement.

Man, that girl is stubborn.

Listen, I'll talk
to her later for you.

I understand women, you know.

If you do, you're the first.

Avast, you lubbers!

Rig the mainsails,

or I'll keelhaul the lot of ya!

We've got to ride out
this storm!

This storm is turning
into a hurricane!

Let her blow, boys!
Let her blow!

Ahoy there,

all my little shipmates
in TV land!

Huh, that was quite a storm
we were through.

Captain Jack is here
again this morning

for Zelda's cornmeal mush--

Ha ha ha.

I'm, uh, ha ha,

just rehearsing
a television show

I--I used to have.

I was always a stickler
for realism.

The kids loved it.

Television show.

Yes.
Don't you recognize me?

Captain Jack of
the good ship Lollipop.

Remember?
Ha ha ha ha ha!

You're Captain Jack?

Yes. Didn't you ever
see the show?

Are you kidding?

I saw it all the time
and so did all my kids.

We never missed it.

How wonderful.

Well, I'm very, very flattered.

It's a pleasure
to meet you, captain.

Oh, thank you very much.

Uhh!

Oh, I'm awful sorry.

I really didn't mean to do that.

That's all right.

But it just can't be.

I mean, you couldn't be
the same Captain Jack.

The same?
What do you mean?

Well, your name was
on their equipment.

I just couldn't believe
that my kids' Captain Jack

was a part
of their dirty scheme.

Well, friend,
I don't follow you.

The scheme to cheat me
out of my salvage.

You mean you found the treasure?

Treasure?

Do you mind?

Uh, certainly.

Of course I found the treasure.

What do you think?

And you're in on it with them.

Oh, you know, I don't know
how to tell my kids.

Well, I don't understand you.

In what? With whom?

Those beatnik friends of yours.

They sabotaged my boat.

Beatnik friends? You mean
Jo Symington, Ted, and Judd?

Yeah.

Look at this.

They cut my battery
cables to delay me

so they could bring up
the treasure first.

I can hardly believe that.

I've known Jo Symington ever
since she was a little girl.

She wouldn't do
anything like that.

Well...

maybe she was fooled by them
the same way you were.

Fooled?

Hey.

I thought there
was something fishy

when they said they
were going fishing.

You sure you're not in on it?

Of course not.

Oh, they wanted me
to go with them.

They were even gonna cut me in.

They were gonna cut you up
is what they're gonna do.

Cut you up and dump you.

Dump me?

In the water?

What do you think?

But they got all my equipment.

They're going out again
in the morning.

Aha. That's what
they think.

Boy, I'm sure glad
I got here when I did.

I sure wouldn't want my kids

to lose their faith
in Captain Jack.

Well, neither would I.

Good. Now, here's
what we're gonna do.

We'll get the equipment...

How could they know
what we were after?

Well, what about
that picture Gil took, huh?

Maybe that gave him a clue.

That might be it.

Either that, or they're
just guessing.

Well, here's your chance
to find out now.

Yeah. I'll do that.

Hi.

Oh, hi.

Ted.

Excuse me.

Sure.

Listen, what about Jo?
She's pretty mad.

She hasn't shown
up here tonight.

Why don't you go up to her house
and see what you can do?

I'll meet you there later.

Ok.

I'm sorry about
your having to tow us.

I hope you're not angry.

Courtesy of the sea.
Can I buy you a drink?

Why don't we go someplace
where we can be alone?

My place? Your place?
The beach?

Your boat's closer.

Oh, no, not my boat.

Why not your boat?

Well, first of all,
I'm all out of champagne,

and Gil might be there.

My car's outside.

Why don't we go
for a nice long drive?

Oh, that's my car over there.

You really have it made,
don't you?

Fancy car, expensive boat--
the whole works.

Jealous?

Sure. I'd like to
have it myself.

Where I come from,
we didn't even wear shoes.

That must be why you like
girls who go barefooted.

Girls? Barefooted?

Jo. Uh, she's kind of
a beatnik, isn't she?

Well, if that means
happily broke

and full of all kind
of crazy principles,

that's what she is.

Um, look, you said you were
going fishing tomorrow.

How about signing me on
as your first mate?

I don't have any principles.

I thought you were
on your way south.

Oh, Gil said
it would take 3 days

to fix the battery cables.

That's funny. I never heard
of 2 cables going at once.

Oh, I don't know.

I guess they wear out
like anything else.

It's a good thing we were
close when it happened.

Gil said we're lucky

that we weren't
further out to sea.

What's with Gil anyway?

He's just a poor boy
who wants to be rich.

You can't hate him for that.

Oh, I don't hate him.

He's very useful to have around,

but anyone I take seriously

would have to have
as much as I do.

Otherwise, I'd never know
if he wanted me for me.

So until the right
millionaire comes along,

it's just fun and games, right?

You can't hate me for that.

Get in.

No, thanks. I'm going
down to my boat.

At this time of night?

What's so important down there?

I got Captain Jack's
equipment onboard,

and nobody's watching it.

So if it's all
the same with you,

I'll take a rain check.

I don't give rain checks.

Gil?
Is that you?

It's not Gil.
It's me.

Oh, it's you.

That's what I said.

Don't you hit me.

I'm not gonna hit you.
I just want to know

what you're doing
with my equipment.

It isn't your equipment.
It's my equipment.

I rented it from you
by the hour, remember?

Yeah, and your hour
was up 10 hours ago.

I've rented it to someone else.

What are you talking about?

Oh, I should have known
you were a crook.

Your face is too honest.

I know all about
your little scheme.

Gil told me.

You would've dumped me overboard

and disappeared
with the treasure

and my equipment.

I don't remember
inviting you aboard.

What are you trying to pull?

Just looking out for
Captain Jack's interests

as well as my own.

I've rented him my equipment.

His face is so crooked,
he's got to be honest.

Thanks a lot.

He's been lying to you.

He's just trying to get
the equipment away from us.

Don't listen to him, captain.

If I were you, I'd leave
before the coast guard

picks you up for cutting
my battery cables.

He knows we can't get the gear

from anybody else
by tomorrow morning.

He's trying to delay us
so he can get out there first.

That's what he did to me!

Wait a minute!

I'm getting dizzy.

Captain, do you think
a Navy man would lie to you?

That's right. You were
in the Navy, weren't you?

But his children believe in me.

Children?
He's not even married.

That is a horrible thing to say.

That's right, friend.
That's horrible.

Now let's just get out of here.

Wait a minute. You're
gonna hurt each other.

Come on, let's get out of here.

All right, so I played dirty.

The name of the game
is finders keepers.

That's right, and I found it.

But you got to bring it up
in order to keep it, buddy.

And how you gonna do that
by tomorrow morning?

Dina and I have
all the equipment.

Dina?

Whose idea do you
think this was?

I'll straighten her out.

Gangway!

Captain Jack!

Go away! Go away!
I'm closed!

But I need that equipment.
I'm willing to buy it.

Well, I'm not selling it,

and I'm not renting it
to either one of you.

You're both a couple
of greedy rascals.

If you'll just give me
a chance to talk to you.

Now, go away now before
I call the police.

They're paid to
protect people like me

from people like you.

Captain, listen to me, will you?

Help, police!
Help, police!

Help, police!

What happened?

It's nothing.
It's just a joke.

Close the door, man.

You're creating a vacuum.

I'm sorry.

Pierre!

I'm not Pierre.

Oh, well, you're lucky anyway.

Uh, I belong over in
that corner over there.

Oh, but getting there
is half the fun.

If you'll excuse me.

What are you protesting?

Well, if you don't know,

I'm certainly not
going to tell you.

Hi.

Welcome, partner.

Partner?

Judd convinced me
to go along with you.

I'm gonna tell the kids
about it now.

Now, wait a minute.

Quiet!
Quiet, everybody!

Cool it!

Listen, everybody!
Listen!

I want to tell you
something beautiful.

Cinderella
is a junkie!

Yeah!
Yeah!

Better than that!

Cigarettes
are good for your lungs!

Yeah!
Yeah!

Better than that.

We're going to have that
art center we've wanted.

I can't tell you how just yet.

That's a surprise,
but we owe thanks

to Ted Jackson and Judd Whitman.

Yay!
Yay!

I wish you hadn't done that.

What I started to tell you is we
may not be able to go tomorrow.

What do you mean?

What's happened?

Dina and Gil found out
about the treasure.

They conned Captain Jack
into thinking we were crooks

so he'd rent
the equipment to them.

Oh, no.

Oh, they've got our equipment?

No. Captain Jack decided
not to rent the equipment

to either one of us.

But that's the only
stuff available.

What are we gonna do?

He's an old friend of yours.
Maybe you can get it back.

I can try.

If we cut out of here now,

we can be on the dock
by the time he opens up.

Let's go.

Excuse us, folks.

Excuse me.

Excuse us.

You don't understand.
We want to cross.

Hey, Judd, Judd.
This is no good.

I got a better idea.

Lend me your trumpet,
will you, pal?

Give me a blast on the horn.

Everybody! Everybody!
Just a minute!

Listen to me just a second!

I've got a story to tell you.

* Ol' Jonah,
He was desperate *

* In the belly
Of the whale *

* But Jonah had a plan

* He knew he couldn't fail

* He raised his head
On high *

* A-lookin'
For the sky *

* And sang a song
So pretty *

* The whale told him
Good-bye *

* You've got to sing,
You children, sing *

* Sing, you children, sing

* I only know one thing

* Hey, hey, hey

* Sing, you children, sing,
Everybody! *

* Sing, you children, sing

* Sing your troubles away

* Well, Moses said,
Good Lord *

* Open up these waters
For me *

* So I can get
Your children *

* Across this salty sea

* Well, the lord
Parted the waters *

* And singing hand in hand

* Moses and the children

* Walked over
To the promised land *

* Sing, you children, sing

* Sing, you children,
Sing *

* I only know one thing

* Hey, hey, hey

* Sing, you children, sing,
Everybody! *

* Sing, you children, sing

* Sing your troubles away

* You've got to sing
Your troubles away *

* Sing your troubles away

* Sing your troubles away

* Sing your troubles away

Hey, the car!
It's gone!

Are you sure you parked it here?

Positive. Hey,
how'd you get here?

Like everybody else.
In Jo's shuttle bus.

Well, let's take
the shuttle bus.

It's on a trip. It won't
be back for 2 hours.

Maybe somebody moved it.

A 2-hour trip.
What'd you use, 1 or 2 lumps?

Hey! You looking
for something?

Yeah. My car.

Was it a convertible?

Yup.

Was it red?

Yeah, that's it.

Was the license number
SIB9--

912.

Right.
Have you seen it?

Well, here it is.

Oh, no!

I don't believe it.

Isn't it the living end?

It's the first automobile mobile

I've ever done.

But, Zoltan, I've told you,

you've got to ask permission.

I'm sorry, but I just
couldn't help myself.

I call it Over the Underpass.

Look, buddy,
we need this car now!

Put it in a bag.
We're in a hurry.

I'll put it back together
again by noon tomorrow.

We got to get to
the harbor tonight.

Hey, why don't you take my car?

Where is it hanging?

No. It's outside.
Come on.

It runs even better
than it looks.

I hope so.

We cannot be seen
on the streets in that.

We can't help but be seen
on the streets in that.

I do not have to take
your insults, you know.

Zoltan, wait a minute!

Hold it, Zoltan! It's
better than nothing!

It's lovely, Zoltan.

Yeah, it's lovely.
Come on, let's go.

Come on. Here.
Get in.

Hey, how do you
start this thing?

Push the button
marked "go-go."

Go-go.

hey, what's the matter
with this thing?

It's probably out of gas!

Why didn't you tell us
that to begin with?

You never asked.

Where's the nearest
service station?

About a half a mile
down the road.

Jo, take the wheel.

Judd, let's push.

Put it in neutral.
Take the brake off.

Right.

Hey, wait, wait, wait a minute.

Let's take 5, huh?

We can't stop now.

I didn't do it.

I'll change the tire.
You go to the station

and bring back
a 5-gallon can.

Of gas?

Yeah, gas.
And run.

All right, I'm running.

Captain!

Aah!

Captain!
Captain Jack!

Captain Jack!

Yes, I'm Captain Jack.

Is anyone there?

Oh, wait a minute,
wait a minute.

Please help me.

All right, all right.
I'm coming.

Please let me in.

I don't sleep in
my clothes, you know.

I need your help.

Take it easy. Don't
break the door down.

Hurry! Hurry! Please!

Who is it?
Who's there?

Captain, I need your help.
Please open up.

Why, it's 4:00
in the morning.

It's a matter of life and death.

You've just got to help me.

Oh, well, just a minute.

What is it?
What's the matter?

I'm in trouble.
I'm in terrible trouble.

Well, what can I do?

I need your help desperately.
Please come with me.

Well, couldn't we do this
some other time?

Shh. Don't talk.
We may be overheard.

Please come with me.

Wait till I get my shirt.

Young lady, if you're
in some kind of trouble,

you should call the police.

No, I can't.

I don't think
I'd better get involved.

Listen, does your country
mean anything to you,

I mean, anything at all?

My country, of course it does.

Well, then come on.
Don't ask questions.

Well, let me put my shirt on.

I catch cold very easily.

Shh.

Where are we going?

Shh! We have to hurry.
He's coming.

Who's coming?

What is it?
What's going on?

Quick.
Hop on the boat.

Oh, I don't like boats.
I don't like--

Hurry.

Why do we have to hurry?

Come on, over here.

We have to hide.

Hurry. Stay down.
Stay down.

How long have we got
to stay here?

Not long. Shh.

What was that?

Nothing. Relax.

Yeah. Relax.

Dina!

Who's that?

It's him.

Him? Who him?

Well, come and meet him.

You!

Glad to have you
aboard, captain.

You and your equipment.

I hope you'll forgive us
for being so devious,

but we were pressed for time.

I'll have you both
arrested for this.

Keep him down here.
I'll go cast off.

Cast off? You mean
you're going to sea?

Sure, we are.

Get me out!
Get me out!

Captain, just relax.
You make a fuss,

I'll have to clap you in irons.

I'm going to sea.

Aah.

Oh, captain. Captain.
Captain Jack?

Captain Jack? Are you
all right, captain?

Well, we blew
the whole night doing it,

but at least we got
enough gas to get there.

Yeah, if that
spare tire holds out.

I sure hope Captain Jack
sleeps late today.

Can't you go any faster?

That's all she's got.

Hey, look at the speedometer.

It says rare, medium,
and well-done.

Yeah, my stove cooks goulash
at 50 miles an hour.

Zoltan doesn't care
where he gets his parts.

Wake me if we get there.

Hey, look!
It's open!

Captain Jack?

Looks like he's gone.

So is the equipment.

I'll bet Gil and Dina
are gone too.

Come on.

Hey, look.
Dina's boat's gone too.

What did I tell you?

Cast off.

Hey, look at this.

"Finders keepers,
lover."

Oh, boy.

I think we're
wasting time...lover.

We're in the homestretch,
captain.

The chest is practically
out in the clear.

With a little luck,
it should come up like a cork,

solid sterling
and tax-free.

Oh, you'll have to pay taxes.

It's a privilege.

Not in Istanbul.

Istanbul?

Oh, you didn't think

we were going back
to Fisherman's Wharf, did you?

Can't we go to someplace
a little closer?

Like, uh, Fresno or Bakersfield?

Just remember what I told you.

Santa Monica.

3 yanks, and you
start the compressor.

2 after that, and you stop it.

3, 2. 3, 2.

Would you mind going
over that again?

Would you mind concentrating?

Oh, I should have never
believed you two.

Those other fellas

are the ones
who found the treasure.

I'm doing them
a terrible injustice.

That's right, captain.

You send them a letter
of apology from Turkey.

Turkey?

I get seasick even
in a Turkish bath.

3 to start, 2 to stop.

Now, you'll have to
do it several times,

so keep your eye on that float

and your mind on your work.

Remember, smile a lot.
You may be on Candid Camera.

This is just another
game to you, isn't it?

But of course.
I told you that.

But this one's gonna
change things between us.

Not necessarily.

You mean you don't want it to?

I didn't say that.

Get it first, then we'll talk.

There they are, all right.

I wonder if they've got it yet.

We'll soon find out.

What do you plan to do?

Depends on what they're doing.

Help!

I've been Shanghaied!

Hey, there's Captain Jack.

Yeah. Looks like
he found out

he's swinging with
the wrong crowd.

Ship, ahoy!

Thank heaven you're here.

I'm saved!

We didn't come here
to rescue you.

Oh, I know what you think of me,

and you're right.
I'm a humbug,

a double-dealer,

a regular Benedict Arnold.

You left out fink.
Where are they?

Oh, they're down there.
They're in the water.

I'm supposed to start
the compressor

when Gil yanks on that line.

2 yanks to start--
or was it 3?

Anyway, the air will
fill the float bags

when he's got them
attached to the chest.

That'll float it up.

Yeah, I know. How long
have they been down?

Oh, only a few minutes
this time.

Do exactly as he told you,
if you can remember.

And one other thing.

What's that?

Who's renting that equipment?

You are, sir.

That's all I wanted to know.

Move the compressor
onto my boat.

We'll continue
the operation from there.

Judd will help you.

Hey, what are you
gonna do, pally?

You heard the man.

Those float bags
down there are ours.

I'm going down to get them...

and the treasure.

How much longer can they
stay down there?

I don't know.

Another 10 minutes, I guess.

It hasn't moved.

I've kept my eye on it
all the time.

There it is!

That's the signal.
3 yanks.

That means turn the air on.

Hey, look there!

That's Gil!

Didn't I see you in
a monster movie, baby?

I wonder what's happened to him.

I guess he's put on some weight.

Jack: bring it up.

I got it, I got it.

Don't worry, I got it.

Out of the way.

Watch it now, watch it.

Wow.

Hold it now.
Wait a second.

Down with it a little bit.

Down a little bit.

Take it easy, boys,
take it easy.

Don't get excited
at this stage of the game.

All right, stand aside.

Look out, look out.

Good, good, good.

You got it!
It's open!

Yay!

There's another lock there.

Give it a whack there.

Oh, got it?

Wait a minute.

Can I help?

Wait a minute.

All right, here we go.

Aah!
Aah!

Aah, we got it!

We got it!

Aah!

Oh, look at it!

Let's go back and find out
how much it's worth,

how much we're worth.

Congratulations.

Like I said,

finders keepers.

Thanks.

There are no hard
feelings, I hope.

Not as far as I'm concerned,

but if the captain wants
to press charges,

that's his business.

Oh, no, no, no.

I'm very grateful
to these people.

Grateful?

For what?

They're responsible
for me being out here.

I finally made it
past the breakwater.

Now that you're rich,

maybe you'd like to buy
a cabin cruiser.

I'm thinking of selling mine.

I'll keep that in mind

when I cash this in.

Let's go.

It's been fun.

Let's go, sourpuss.

If there's anything I hate,

it's a good sport.

Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Uh-huh.

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Uh-huh, yes!

Well, what are they worth, huh?

I think my top price
would be 30.

$30 apiece!

Wait a minute, Wait a minute.

I don't think you understood.

I meant 30 cents apiece.

You can't be serious.

Hold it, everybody.

Look, I looked it up.

Pieces of eight are worth
at least $20 each.

Yes, if they're silver,
more if they're gold.

But unfortunately
these are copper.

Copper?

But they look
like--

I'm afraid that the slime
has given them a patina.

No, these coins
are quite common,

and of very little
interest to numismatists.

Numisma-whats?

That's Armenian
for coin collector.

Let's see. You say you have
approximately 13,000 coins.

At 30 cents apiece,
that's, uh...

I can offer you $3,900.

$3,900?

For all the time
and the money we spent.

My equipment is worth
more than that.

I'm terribly sorry.

I can understand
your disappointment,

but that's really
the best that I can do.

A moment, my friends.

Just remember,

it isn't whether
you win or lose,

but how you play the game.

Will you please stop it?

We'll take it.

Well, there we go.

$975 each.

No, no, no.
It just isn't right.

I cannot accept a full share.

But it was your
equipment, captain.

You talked me into it.

I was only fooling, you know.

Well, it's been a lot of fun.

Yeah, but with $1,000 invested,

I'm right back where I started.

And this isn't even close
to a down payment

on the art center.

Yeah. I make more than
that on a Saturday night

selling leftover pizzas.

Leftover pizzas?

How much would it take

for a down payment
on the art center?

At least 4,000 or 5,000.

4,000.
Here's my share, Jo.

What?

We might as well put it all

where it'll do the most good.

What do you think, Judd?

I think I just made
a contribution.

Oh, thank you.
This is wonderful.

Ahem.

340.

360.

3...

Oh, take it.

It would only put me
in a higher tax bracket.

You are a dear.

I'm a dear.
She kissed me.

That's just the down payment.

For the rest, we'll
throw a big bash,

collect donations,
and Jo will have

all the money in one evening.

Oh, you're marvelous.

Ok, and I will spring
for the beer

and the pizzas if you'll
come back to work here

like you promised.

You have got a deal, partner.

* Some people think
That pot of gold *

* Is all they ever want
To hold *

* But there's a treasure

* I think more of

* Measure for measure

* I'll take love

* Some people think
That their success *

* La la la la
La la la-la *

* Is all they need
For happiness *

* La la la la
La la la-la *

* But there's
A pleasure *

* I think more of

* Measure for measure

* I'll take love

* La la la la
La la la-la *

* Pound for pound,
Oh, yeah *

* And ounce for ounce

* Love is all
That really counts *

* So let them have
Their wealth and fame *

* La la la la
La la la-la *

* Eat caviar
And drink champagne *

* La la la la
La la la-la *

* You're all
The treasure *

* I'm dreaming of

* Measure for measure

* I'll take love

* La la la la
La la la-la *

* Pound for pound

* Oh, yeah,
And ounce for ounce *

* Love is all
That really counts *

* So let them have
Their wealth and fame *

* La la la la
La la la-la *

* Eat caviar
And drink champagne *

* La la la la
La la la-la *

* You're all
The treasure *

* I'm dreaming of

* Measure for measure

* I'll take love

* I'll take love

* I'll take love

* La la la la
La la la-la *

* I'll take love

* I'll take love