Original subtitles

-Previously onThis Is Us... -JAE-WON: Today's, uh, bulletin,

it's kind of going viral.

RANDALL: Well, viral how?

[garbled speech]

I'm doing this for William Hill.

Because you all were his family,

which means you're my family, too.

It's twins, Kevin.

I'm all in, Madison.

Whatever you need, I am all in.

I think I just got the part.

I mean, pending a-a good meeting with the director.

[laughing]: I-I got the part.

KATE: Um, my talk with Ellie today

brought up some stuff for me.

When I was 18, I was in

a really, really bad relationship.

And when it ended...

So you're telling me, that this boyfriend of yours...

Got me pregnant, yeah.

And I was nowhere near ready to be a mom.

And I could not...

Ooh, I could not be tied to that guy for the rest of my life.

You know, so...

I had an abortion.

And it was, I mean, the toughest decision

I've ever made in my life.

But I don't regret it.

But I made it alone, and you know, I've lived with it alone.

Wait. What are your eyes doing? Are you judging me?

No.

No, of course not.

I'm just trying to wrap my head around the...

Uh, why did it take you so long to tell me this?

Well, it's not exactly something

that comes up naturally in a conversation.

Actually, it is.

It took us two years to have Jack.

That's two years of talking about pregnancy all the time.

Toby, you don't understand.

I was 18 years old,

and that decision was wrapped up in the darkest,

lowest, most painful... time of my life.

It was, like, the most painful relationship of my life.

And all I wanted to do, I wanted to lock it up,

you know, and I didn't want to think about it.

I didn't want to think about him.

He was so cruel... to me.

I would like you to tell me his name,

and then, I would like to find him,

and I would like to kill him.

-Babe. -I want to kill him.

[laughing]: You're...

Thank you. That's very sweet.

You know what?

He's in the past, it's all in the past.

-It's... -Is it, though? If it was

truly in the past, then why would it take you four years

to tell me about it?

[Toby exhales]

♪ ♪

Look at that. Changing table is built.

The bunny tapestry is hung. I'm telling you.

Natasha is going to plotz when she sees our nursery.

You are obsessed with impressing this nanny.

I thought we were interviewing her, not the other way around.

Yeah, no, babe, you don't understand.

Natasha is, like, um... She's, like, nanny royalty.

Okay? Timberlake said that he and Jess--

they wept when she left to go to another family.

Now that's what my family deserves, does it not?

A nanny that makes Timberlake weep?

-[phone vibrating] -Like a little baby.

Yeah, what's up?

Yeah, okay.

No. Hold on, hold on. No, no, no, no, no.

That is not what I committed to.

Then I'm out.

Yeah, you know why.

I'm not having this conversation.

Goodbye.

Read about these, uh... What were they?

These, uh... these, uh... these baby monitor socks

-that they have. They... -Kevin.

What the hell just happened on the phone?

Uh, th-that was, uh, just my agent.

They, uh, they're moving

the filming of the movie to Vancouver, 'cause it's safer.

I guess there's less COVID, so...

And that's bad because...?

Because it's two weeks of filming, right?

Plus, two weeks quarantine,

which means I'd have to leave L.A. tomorrow.

Oh.

Yeah, so, I-I, you know, I can't do it.

Wait. Put that down.

Let's do the math for a second.

Four weeks away puts you back here...

a solid five weeks before the babies are due.

You have worked so hard on this movie.

You have put up with so much crap from that director.

This can't all be for nothing.

I don't know. I don't know.

Go on and pack.

Yeah.

No, Mom, I didn't realize the camera was still on.

-[Lizzo's "Juice" playing] -I can give Miguel my abs routine.

-♪ Got to blame it on the Goose♪ -Oh, my.

-♪ Got to blame it on my juice, baby...♪ -Oh, boy.

Uh, I'm at the office now, Ma. Uh, love you.

-♪ I'm the pudding in the proof...♪ -Morning, boss.

-[music stops] -[laughter, applause]

All right, Jae-won.

You can put your tinypecs back on now.

[laughter]

Uh, there's something I need to show you.

I don't know if I would have said that while closing a door,

wearing a naked-man shirt.

Yeah. Uh, you know the, um...

the form we set up on our website for cons...

for, uh, constituents to reach out?

[groans]

Aah. Uh, watch the hair.

-Yeah. -[sighs]

-Thank you. -Yeah.

The, um... the form on our website

for constituents to reach out.

[exhales sharply]

This came in.

You want privacy?

I'll give you privacy.

[door opens]

[door closes]

[turns page]

-[knocking, door opens] -Kate Pearson?

-[door closes] -I'm Dr. Wolfe.

I'm one of the clinicians here.

-Hi. -Hi.

So, let me tell you how this is gonna go.

Uh, by Pennsylvania law,

I'm required to ask you this list of questions

before we can proceed any further.

-Okay. -Okay.

Are you absolutely sure

of your decision to terminate this pregnancy?

Yes.

Can you tell me what led to your decision?

Um... I'm 18,

and I'm not with the guy anymore, so...

Are you taking any medications or other drugs?

Kate?

Um, so where do they actually do it?

Will it be in here?

No. The procedure would happen in the room next door.

And that happens today, right?

Mm. No, honey. We're legally required

to wait 24 hours after meeting the patient

and giving the questions and information.

[fading]: If after 24 hours, you feel you want the procedure...

-Babe? -Hi.

Where's Jackie?

Ugh. Conked out in his sleep chair.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

You look pretty tired yourself.

Well, that's because I spent the entire night

cyber-stalking my awful ex-boyfriend Marc.

I don't know. I just...

I just felt like--

I don't know-- you were right.

Right, like, I was clearly not past the past.

And that's why I took out my laptop, I went for a dive,

and I found out that he's in San Diego.

So I was thinking.

I don't know what I'm gonna say or what I'm gonna do,

but I-I feel like I have to see him.

I was hoping you would come with.

I know it's a lot to ask, but I could really use your support.

Are you sure you can handle seeing him again?

Yeah.

Okay. I'm in.

-Okay. -Okay.

[phone ringing]

[drops keys]

REBECCA [on machine]: Hi. You've reached the Pearsons.

-Leave us a message. -[beep]

REBECCA: Hey, sweetheart. It's me.

Just calling to check in.

Um... Kevin did really great at his showcase last night.

And then he tried to set me up with his acting teacher.

[Rebecca chuckles]

Is everything okay?

I thought you said you'd be home.

Well, I'm at Kevin's if you need me, all right?

I love you. Bye, Bug.

[dial tone]

[sets phone down]

[laughter, indistinct chatter]

[sets phone down]

This is so lovely.

Are we celebrating something?

-SOPHIE: Kevin's got great news. -KEVIN: Mm-hmm.

-REBECCA: Oh. -I got a call from a talent manager.

-[gasps] -She was at my showcase last night.

And she said that I have the right look for TV.

Oh, so, she's more of a looks manager.

-Okay, let him talk. -That's great, sweetheart.

And she says it's pilot season,

and she wants me to go to L.A.

for a few months so she can send me on auditions.

-L.A.? -Uh-huh.

[scoffs] But you just got to New York.

Yeah.

Well, what about you? Will you be going with him?

Oh, um, I have school, so...

Yeah, and I'll be back

-before she can even miss me. -SOPHIE: Yeah.

Mm.

To Kevin.

-To your career. -[Sophie chuckles]

-KEVIN: Thanks, Mom. -BETH: To your career.

-To your career. -To my career. [chuckles]

And because of my profession,

I get tested multiple times a week.

I quarantine strictly.

I'm basically the loneliest, safest person on the planet.

-[all laugh] -KEVIN: You're funny.

That's funny. She is funny,

-right? -She is. [chuckles]

Um, and do you know CPR?

NATASHA: And pediatric first aid.

-Recertified every year. -MADISON: That is

-so reassuring, I can't tell you. -Unbelievable.

And you're good with extended travel,

right? Because nowadays,

you never know where these movies are gonna shoot.

-So... -My passport's always up-to-date.

Oh, that's great. That's great, because we want someone

who travels with us to keep things consistent for the twins.

-NATASHA: Mm-hmm. -MADISON: I mean,

sure, there'll be occasional travel,

but most of the time, we'll be here in L.A.

KEVIN: Mm.

Yeah. I mean, that's the hope.

Yeah, you hope for that, but, you know,

as we just found out, these movies,

they'll shoot 'em anywhere, so...

-I've gone all over the world with my families. -KEVIN: Mm.

I know how to help them adjust

to constantly changing locations.

Starting new schools, you know, making new friends.

BETH: Hey.

You're home early.

What's wrong?

So, a man named Hai Lang

-submitted a city complaint form on the website. -Mm-hmm.

He used it as a way to get in touch with me personally.

"My name's Hai Lang, and I live in New Orleans.

"I recognized the name William Hill from a video

"I saw of you on the Internet.

Not 100% certain, but I believe I knew your mother, Laurel."

-What? -"We were close friends.

I was by her side when she died in May of 2015."

Doesn't exactly jive with the whole "she died

after I was born" story, huh?

-Randall, what the hell? -I don't know.

-I'm gonna go, um... -Wait.

Oh, my God.

He sent a picture.

Randall, is this her?

How would I know, Beth?

I've never seen the woman before.

[sighs]

[sniffles]

[footsteps approaching]

-Hey. -Hey.

I was thinking about bringing in Monk's for dinner.

Been craving those crab legs.

I will see you in a bit.

Did you really just peck and go?

Uh, Randall,

this is not a peck and go situation.

Okay? We need to talk about this.

I was wondering for 36 years.

I got my answers.

I'm not going down this road.

I understand that. But why?

-Beth, come on. -Okay, Randall...

'Cause it would mean he lied to me.

How did you meet my mother?

On a bus, of all places. [chuckles softly]

My God, she was so beautiful.

I got to tell you something. One look at that face,

and my world spun on every axis.

Fallen as we were back then,

when she found out about you, she was so excited.

I'd never seen a woman so determined to get clean,

to stay clean,

to do right by this baby.

To do right by you.

And she did.

For nine months.

But then, after the birth,

the pain took hold of her like a demon.

I lost her the next day.

If, um...

If she really did die just a few years ago,

it would mean that William lied to me, Beth.

Think you should, um...

call your therapist on this one?

I don't need to call my therapist.

I need... I need to go for a run.

He needs to call his therapist.

KEVIN: You hated her, right?

Well, you know what? Screw her

and that glorious Range Rover that she rode in on.

Jet-setting all over the world with our kids and their nannies?

That's not exactly the life I pictured for our family.

Well, uh, you know,

what about private jet-setting all over the world

with our kids and their nannies?

Okay. Look, Madison, I am lost here.

Uh, you know, just a bit ago,

you were pushing me out the door to go to Vancouver, right?

And now you're upset that we're traveling for my work?

I pushed you to go to Vancouver

because the babies aren't here yet

and because I know how much this movie means to you.

And you made a commitment to a lot of people, but...

you also made a commitment to me and these kids.

I didn't realize that where we lived

was as important as being a family.

And how did you think this would work?

Did you just assume that me and the kids

would become your international roadies?

No, I didn't... I wouldn't say that phrase.

What... You know, I thought we would stick together.

Me, too.

In our home.

What do you want me to do?

What do you want me to do? Do you want me to quit acting,

Madison? It took me 20 years to get here.

But I'm not exactly in a position where I can dictate

where they shoot things, okay?

And quite frankly, I'm...

I'm struggling to figure out

how this is all of a sudden news to you.

It's not.

Look, I have been growing

two humans inside my body, living with you

in this bubble. I mean, I'm sorry

if the realities of your career

haven't exactly been top of mind.

I'm not trying to give you a hard time, but...

I was willing to do this on my own.

Remember?

I was never gonna ask you for anything,

but you insisted on being

a part of our lives, and now I have gone

and fallen in love with this idea of our family.

[Kevin grunts]

Well, I have gone and fallen in love

with the idea of our family, too.

KATE: Here we are. This is where Marc works

according to his Myspace page.

TOBY: This guy has a Myspace page?

Of all the things that you have told me about this guy,

him having a Myspace page is the creepiest.

Hey. You all right?

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

TOBY: Maybe I should go in with you.

No, you don't need to go in with me.

[sighs]

Kate Pearson.

I knew you couldn't stay away.

Um, Marc?

MARC: Well, it, uh, takes a little while to make a lady

all of her favorite breakfast foods for lunch.

We got one bagel,

which is scooped, lightly toasted,

butter on the side.

And then we have

an egg, very, very runny.

[chuckles]: Which is still, to me,

like eating an oyster from the ass of a chicken.

[chuckles] But it's the way you like it.

I don't judge. And then we got

one coffee, nonfat milk.

No Sweet'N Low, though, because I didn't have any,

and for that, I am very sorry.

You remembered everything.

[chuckles softly] Course I did.

I really did miss you.

You're still upset about the cabin.

I am so sorry, Kate.

I was such a dick.

I-I don't know. I-I don't know what happens to me.

It's, um...

It's like a switch flips inside me,

um, which... That's so not an excuse.

-Marc. -And I should've apologized to you

the second I saw you today, but I just...

I thought that you showing up here

was you saying you forgive me.

Well, that's not what I'm saying.

I mean...

I mean, that's not what I came here to say.

Well, what'd you come here to say?

[sighs] Okay.

Uh-oh. This sounds heavy.

Well, it is.

[sighs deeply]

[chuckles] You're annoyed now?

Um...

I'm just a little whiplashed,

'cause I was, like, really, really happy to see you.

And then now it's just like...

ugh.

[sighs]

You know what,

let's just chill and let's just watch some TV, huh?

Let's just, like, be here with each other.

Huh?

Come on.

[turns TV on]

[channels changing]

[dramatic music playing]

Oh, wait, that's Airplane!

[chuckles] Could you actually not change it?

We regret any inconvenience...

Um, okay.

-This is due to periodic air pockets we encounter. -[Kate chuckling]

There's no reason to become alarmed,

and we hope you enjoy the rest of your flight.

By the way, is there anyone on board

who knows how to fly a plane?

[passengers screaming]

[sighs softly]

I need a drink.

[clears throat]

[passengers screaming, shouting]

[exhales]

[screaming]

[Rebecca and Jack laughing]

♪ ♪

[exhales]

[smacks lips]

Hey, yo, I got, uh, the DVD

of Michel Gondry's music videos.

Uh...

Can I help you?

It's Kate.

Pearson.

[chuckles softly] Wow.

Kate Pearson.

What are the odds?

Do you live in SD?

Vacationing?

No.

We share a friend on Facebook.

I actually figured out where you work because I wanted to, uh...

...come and see you.

Oh, okay.

So...

S-- Um, I was just wondering if I could--

I-I wanted to talk to you about some things.

MANAGER: Marc!

Now.

[grunts] Hang tight. Be right back.

MANAGER: Three smoke breaks in one hour?

-Really? -I'm sorry, man.

MANAGER: We've talked about this.

If you're gonna work here, you got to work here.

-Yeah. -You have five minutes.

[sniffs]

It's not a long-term job. [inhales]

I got this band I've been managing

and we're getting a residency at this club,

so...

Okay, can I ask you a question?

Okay. Sure.

What do you remember about our relationship?

Like, when you look back on it, I mean.

Really? [chuckles]

That's why you're here?

To rehash our six-month relationship from...

20 years ago?

[scoffs]

You know what, forget it.

Forget about it. Goodbye, Marc.

Sorry. Uh, hold on.

Sorry. I'm sorry.

When I look back on it, I think...

...we were in love?

Um...

I mean, you had great taste in music.

And...

...you were broken, you know,

in all the right places.

And, yeah, things got intense at times, but, like,

we were kids.

No.

I was a kid.

You were a 24-year-old man.

And I wasn't broken. I was grieving.

My dad just died.

And I was destroyed

and so vulnerable and you knew it.

You liked it.

-[chuckles]: Okay... -W-- No, no, no.

I'm not finished.

[scoffs]

What you did to me...

...how you held my self-esteem in your hand

and then you decided to crush it,

God, that damaged me, Marc.

For years,

I swallowed my dreams,

my feelings...

and a lot of food.

No, no, look at me.

Look at me.

You need to get this.

The time that it took for me to heal from you

stole years of my life.

And I can't get them back.

[chuckles] Took me a while,

yeah, but I, um...

I found someone who...

loves me the way that I deserve to be loved.

I have a beautiful son

and an incredible husband,

who's actually in that car

and who was just, like, seconds away

from wanting to just pulverize you with his bare hands.

I'm not broken. You're the one that's broken, Marc.

You're the disease.

And I'm not carrying it a moment longer.

So...

I give it back to you.

Good luck with it, Marc.

WOMAN [on TV]: Sally, I took this man home with me,

and my parents asked me, "What cave did you pull this out of?"

[laughter]

Kate.

It's gonna be fine.

I'm gonna put this sheet over your knees.

♪ ♪

Ah! God, I feel good.

You know, he looked so small to me.

In his stupid-ass T-shirt and just all...

talking about his empty dreams. It's like a joke.

[sighs] I just cannot believe

I let him have that much power over me.

Hmm. I'm proud of you, babe.

-You did good. -Thank you.

I wanted to tell you about it.

About all of it, about Marc, so many times,

but...

I didn't want you to-to look at me like a victim.

Oh, Kate, come on.

No. And today, you... you just sat patiently in the car

when I know that you wanted to rip out his jugular,

and you let me be my own white knight.

And... you never looked at me

like I was a victim. Ever.

And I could have just told you everything from day one.

Day one would have been a lot,

-but... -Okay.

-[Toby laughs] -I know.

VANCE: So, what would this mean to you

if this Hai person was actually telling the truth?

Beyond William's betrayal, I mean.

Beyond William's?

You know, I put a... an ad in the paper

looking for my mom when I was 16?

Some scam artist showed up at the park.

She wanted money.

That must have hurt.

So much so that I stopped looking

for another 20 years.

She had 35 years to find me, and she never even looked for me.

You don't know if that's what happened.

I... [sighs]

Let's look at it this way.

At nine years old, you were curling your tongue

at Black folks in supermarkets.

At 16, you put ads in the paper.

And at 35, you hired a P.I.

Your whole life,

your instincts have been telling you

you need to know your history.

Why do you think you needed that?

To know where I came from.

To... to know who I was.

I don't know, to...

to feel connected or rooted

to something bigger than myself.

Did knowing William help you do that?

In a lot of ways it did.

Is there a chance that knowing Laurel's story

could help you, too?

You're already in the journey, Randall.

Why not be inin it?

[sighs]

Um, I made you a little to-go breakfast.

This is so nice. You didn't have to do that.

This-this...

Thank you. Thank you.

You know, the car's gonna be here... any second.

Yeah, I just-- I'm...

I know I'm leaving at the worst possible time.

But when I come back,

it will be with a heart that is committed...

Kevin. I am deeply aware

that you come from a family of great speech-givers.

I think you should use this time away to be real with yourself.

To figure out how this relationship and family

is actually gonna work, and how these babies and I

are actually gonna fit in your life.

You said you were all in, and I bought that.

Take this moment to decide if you really are.

I am.

[whispers]: Take the moment.

Kiss the bubbalas goodbye.

-Oh, yeah. [moans] -[laughs]

Oh, man. Okay.

Mwah. Mwah.

You listen to your mom, okay, babies?

Oh, okay. This is hard.

And, uh...

Okay.

Okay.

Nothing went wrong. People change.

-GEORGE: People change? -Yeah. People change.

GEORGE: Can they change back?

I don't know.

-I think it's harder. -[door opens]

Hey, Bug.

-How was yourweekend? -It was fine.

Yeah? You had a good time with Molly?

Mm-hmm.

Is everything all right?

You know, I did call a couple times to check in.

I didn't hear back.

Oh, sweetheart.

Is everything okay? What's wrong?

I was watching a sappy movie.

It made me cry.

-Oh. -[chuckles]

[laughs]: I'm sorry.

Do you want some dinner?

I'll take some ice cream.

You got it.

♪ If I ran ahead♪

-[laughter] -♪ Would you know♪

♪ Which way that I went♪

♪ Without you?♪

♪ In days, I would be lost♪

♪ And afloat♪

♪ Thrown into the waves♪

♪ Tossed ashore♪

♪ Throw me now your arms♪

-♪ We're not meant to be♪ -[picks up phone]

♪ On our own♪

♪ And is this now the time♪

[phone ringing]

♪ We let go♪

♪ And cling to one another...♪

Yo, yo, this is Kevin.

You really answer the phone like that, dude?

Randall, what's up?

So I've been thinking about you going to L.A.

I don't think you should do it.

Right, 'cause you don't think I'm talented.

No, no, it's not that.

You just got married.

Sophie's one of the best things

that's ever happened to you,

and this could really stress your relationship.

Sophie and I have been together since we were ten, Randall.

We can hack a few months apart.

Are you sure?

You know, because when I think of anything

getting in between me and Beth...

...it makes my stomach hurt.

[laughs] That's 'cause you're whipped.

Sorry I called.

No, look, I, uh... I appreciate the concern.

But Sophie and I are solid.

We're gonna be okay.

And look, when I'm a big star,

and we're living in some mansion,

it'll all be worth it.

Okay, Kev.

Whatever you say.

[sets phone down]

♪ Let me be the first to tell you♪

♪ That I would give up my life♪

♪ Every day as the tides grow closer♪

♪ It is all that's on my mind.♪

[phone ringing]

[sighs]

Hey. Everything all right with Mom?

Uh, with the babies?

Yeah.

Mom's good, um, and Madison's...

She's fine. Yeah.

I-I saw your, uh, your-your strip clip

on Hoda's Twitter feed.

-[chuckles] It's hilarious, man.-Ah...

It's good-- And not, like, in an embarrassing way at all.

I mean, it comes off really charming.

-It's great. -Yeah. It's been a trip.

Uh, h-how is everybody there? How are the girls?

Good. They're good.

Uh, Zoom schooling is a unique version of hell,

-but, um... -[chuckles] I bet.

[quietly]: Yeah.

-So... -Anyway, uh...

Oh, no, I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry, no, g-go ahead.

No, I wasn't, uh, n-- Go ahead.

Well, l-look, the reason I was calling is I'm-I'm, um...

S... Um...

I'm finding myself in a really, um...

...complicated place with Madison,

and I'm a little bit lost on how to deal with it,

and I-I, uh... the first thought that I had...

...was, uh,

well, it was "What would Randall do?"

I, uh, I have that thought a lot, actually.

That's a nice thing to say.

It's a...

nice thing to know.

I know it seems ironic, too,

uh, because of all of the...

horrible things that I said to you

that day when we were, uh...

Ah, we said a lot of things, Kev.

Yeah, but, uh...

S...

Randall, Kate was telling me about some of the things, uh,

that you felt

during our childhood, some of...

Is that really how you felt?

Yeah, Kev, it is.

Well, that is horrible.

Uh...

I can't imagine having to keep all that to yourself.

Hey, Kev, I'm sorry to cut you off,

but, um, now's not a great time.

I-I have a really important phone call

that I have to make right now.

♪ If I ran ahead♪

♪ Would you know...♪

Yeah, no, I get it. Yeah, no, you-you do you.

-I-I get it. -But we'll talk soon, all right?

♪ In days, I would be lost...♪

We're really about to do this?

I'm already in it, so... let's get in it.

♪ Tossed ashore, throw me now your arms...♪

[exhales] Oh, boy.

-I'm so nervous. -I'm gonna boot.

[line ringing]

HAI [over phone]: Hello?

Hi, Hai.

Um, sorry. Uh, what I meant to say was hello.

Um, is this Hai?

Uh, yes, this is he.

This is Randall Pearson.

Oh, Randall.

I'm so pleased to hear from you.

Uh, Hai?

Do you mind if I just jump into asking you

a really blunt question?

Go ahead.

You mentioned in your e-mail that Laurel died in May of 2015.

Of breast cancer, yes.

♪ Throw me now your arms...♪

Um, my father told me that Laurel overdosed

and died shortly after I was born.

♪ Throw me now your arms...♪

So are you saying that he was lying?

From what I know of the story, I believe he was telling you

what he thought was the truth.

♪ Let me be the first to tell you♪

♪ That I would give up my life♪

♪ Every day as the tides grow closer...♪

BETH: Um, this is Beth, Randall's wife.

How exactly did you know Laurel?

We met in our early 20s, here in Orleans Parish.

Sorry, I didn't expect to feel so strange

talking about her on the phone.

I've thought of telling you about her for so many years.

I just wish I could see your face.

I wish I could show you the places she lived,

the things she loved.

♪ At day's end♪

♪ Who you can depend on♪

♪ Hand in hand♪

♪ Safely on the shore♪

♪ Where we stand...♪

Hey, what if we were to come out there?

If that's what you could do...

♪ Let me be the first to tell you...♪

To see where my mother lived,

and the things she loved?

I would like that very much.

♪ Every day as the tides♪

♪ Grow closer♪

♪ It is all that's on my mind.♪