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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,640 --> 00:00:08,191 The great house behind me is the ancestral seat of my family. 2 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:13,391 We have lived in a house, on or near this site, since the 11th century. 3 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:16,031 I am the 23rd Earl. 4 00:00:17,080 --> 00:00:18,513 From the roof of the house, 5 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:22,997 any land one can see, in any direction, is part of our domain. 6 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:29,434 It is my responsibility to conserve, nurture and develop the estate, 7 00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:33,553 until such a time as I can pass it on to the 24th Earl, 8 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:36,876 secure in the knowledge that it is substantially larger 9 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:40,595 and more productive than when it came into my care 10 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:44,030 on the death of the 22nd Earl, my father. 11 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:52,398 I want to tell my story. 12 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:54,713 In doing this, 13 00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:57,593 I want more than anything else to demonstrate 14 00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,074 that at the very centre of my life, 15 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:02,588 there has been a sense of history. 16 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:19,559 We came over with William the Conqueror 17 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:24,071 and here we have lived and farmed in direct male line ever since. 18 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:28,714 The nature of the holding has changed a great deal over the centuries. 19 00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:31,194 The principal influences being, 20 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:36,712 one, the enclosure of vast tracts of land in the 15th and 16th centuries, 21 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:40,355 which increased the size of the estate quite substantially, 22 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:45,758 and two, the gradual but significant diminution of the ancient woodland. 23 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:50,434 Successive generations have been variously adept 24 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:52,471 and I was able to inerit from my father 25 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:55,910 some 10,000 acres of mixed arable and pasture. 26 00:01:56,800 --> 00:02:00,759 This was considerably less than he inerited from my grandfather. 27 00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:03,631 But more of that anon. 28 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:10,758 We're looking now at a field of some 200 acres. 29 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:13,189 This is a truly vast expanse 30 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:18,268 and as little as 35 years ago, this was upwards of ten fields. 31 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:23,030 The economic demands of creating ever more efficient and productive land 32 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:25,275 has meant that in many areas, 33 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:28,756 we have ripped out the hedges and filled in the ditches 34 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:33,590 in order that the diesel-powered leviathans of modern agriculture 35 00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:38,430 may move with ease over more and more acres of chemically-enriched soil. 36 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:41,555 I'm not greatly proud of my own role 37 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:45,718 in this brutalisation of my green and pleasant heritage, 38 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,397 but having said that, 39 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:52,638 I sincerely believe, that for me to have taken any other course 40 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:55,035 would have been frankly irresponsible. 41 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:59,314 This land is not mine to squander. 42 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:03,990 It is held in trust for all future generations of my family. 43 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:10,036 For us still to be here after 900 and some years is an achievement, 44 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:14,437 but I don't doubt that my forebears fought some pretty torrid battles 45 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:17,074 to hang onto what was rightfully theirs. 46 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:19,791 And I have a massive debt. 47 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:25,995 A debt to them, to do my darndest to ensure that I do not flunk my heritage. 48 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:30,237 My brother and I were born and brought up between the wars, 49 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:33,352 my brother being four years older than myself. 50 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:35,516 Our parents were an unfortunate couple. 51 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:39,394 Mother was a great, great beauty, of that there can be no doubt, 52 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:44,150 but as far as her qualities are concerned, that is quite simply the end of the story. 53 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:48,318 She was stupid and vain, lazy and craven. 54 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:51,193 We adored her but she paid us scant attention. 55 00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:55,989 I do remember her, particularly her smell. 56 00:03:56,040 --> 00:04:00,909 It was a heady, exotic mixture of expensive toilet water, 57 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:03,633 fine talc, exquisite perfume 58 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:06,990 and something else which was sweet and mysterious. 59 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:10,230 I now know what that was. 60 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:13,192 For a great many years, until it was taken off the market, 61 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:16,550 she was addicted to a certain proprietary cough medicine, 62 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:19,990 of which the active ingredient was some sort of opiate. 63 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:24,237 I think as a child, it was her odour I craved most. 64 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:29,950 I'd manoeuvre myself so that I could bury my head in her blouse or skirts, 65 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:34,118 and inale as deeply as was humanly possible, 66 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:38,631 that I might experience her more intensely, more completely. 67 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,636 But I was usually asked to refrain. 68 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,992 My father was as handsome as she was beautiful. 69 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:51,828 The 21st Earl, my grandfather, had been a formidable man. 70 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:58,752 Soldier, politician, farmer, acclaimed and respected in all these spheres. 71 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:04,079 A difficult act to follow for the best of men, which my father most decidedly wasrt. 72 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:08,873 Where grandfather excelled, father disappointed. 73 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:11,753 He was a perilously inadequate soldier, 74 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:15,156 a master of the misguided heroic gesture, 75 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:19,910 which, during the Great War, proved fatal to his men on more than one occasion. 76 00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:23,669 He had no interest in or understanding of politics, 77 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:28,155 and as a farmer, he was catastrophically inept. 78 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:30,191 He had no feeling for the land 79 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:36,518 and the science and economics of estate management completely passed him by. 80 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:38,389 And worst of all, 81 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:43,275 he was loathed and detested by every single person who worked for him. 82 00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:45,834 He was, in short, a bully 83 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:50,158 who gloried in the abasement of the weak and defenceless. 84 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:53,829 My brother and I suffered his indignities no less than the staff. 85 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:59,953 Upon the slightest pretext, he would let loose upon us torrents of withering abuse. 86 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,560 He would crack our skulls together, 87 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:04,795 slap us, pinch us, punch us, 88 00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:07,638 pull our hair, hold our heads underwater. 89 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:12,549 We lived in dread of his diminishing humiliations. 90 00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:15,397 We would run to Mama for protection, 91 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:20,434 but she had already taken her own refuge in a self-induced narcosis. 92 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:29,672 So there we were, two little chaps with hopelessly inadequate parents. 93 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:35,272 My father, this nasty booby of a man, whom I hated ferociously, 94 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:39,393 and my mother, this astoundingly beautiful woman 95 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,476 with whom we sometimes had tea. 96 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:44,751 Big deal, as my children would say. 97 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:53,556 I was a solitary unlovable boy, but I was blessed with a keen intelligence. 98 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:55,750 I knew that we were somehow special 99 00:06:55,800 --> 00:07:01,272 and I was fascinated, I suppose, by the whole ethos of the elite families. 100 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:06,553 I desperately wanted to know how it all worked and how I fitted in, 101 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:10,354 so I took to eavesdropping on adult conversations 102 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:13,392 and what I learned was very alarming indeed. 103 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:18,468 It was clear that my father was making the most frightful hash of running the estate 104 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:22,115 and vast tracts of land had already been sold off. 105 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:25,391 I knew that by some degree I was the cleverest person in the family, 106 00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:28,512 and I knew that my brother would inerit the earth. 107 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:32,997 I liked my brother, we got on well, given the difference in our ages. 108 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:37,716 But at the age of seven I realised two quite dreadful things. 109 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:40,320 Firstly, he was simple-minded. 110 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:43,397 Not backward as such, but decidedly dim. 111 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:48,036 There was no way he would ever be able to rebuild the estate to its former glory 112 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:54,110 and left to his own devices, he would in all likelihood oversee its continuing decline. 113 00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:56,230 Now, this was troublesome, 114 00:07:56,280 --> 00:08:00,068 but it was my second realisation that was more ominous. 115 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:06,477 I knew... with a terrifying clarity, that he was a homosexual. 116 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:11,553 How I could be so certain of the sexual proclivities of an 11-year-old boy, 117 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:15,388 when only seven and a half myself, I don't know. 118 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:19,877 I don't know how I knew a lot of things, but know them I did. 119 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:28,109 Now, as I saw it, the family would be extremely hard-pressed 120 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:31,709 to survive two generations of duffers at the helm. 121 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:39,838 And this, combined with the fact that my brother would, in all probability, 122 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:43,793 prove incapable of keeping the dynastic ball rolling, 123 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:48,994 convinced me that we were in a very, very parlous state indeed. 124 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:56,111 It seemed to me that my whole world was in serious danger of collapse. 125 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:58,151 Something had to be done. 126 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:00,873 The best hope would be for me to inerit. 127 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:04,356 The only way this could happen, given my brother's rude health, 128 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:07,472 would be for me to kill him, and the sooner the better. 129 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:09,431 For one thing, were I to be found out, 130 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:12,597 any penalty incurred would be less the younger I was, 131 00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:17,475 and secondly, small boys lead notoriously dangerous lives in any case, 132 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:21,354 and an accident would never be easier to contrive than now. 133 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:24,233 So it was, that at the age of seven, 134 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:27,913 I committed myself to the murder of my brother. 135 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:36,593 He was walking along here with his double-barrelled.410 shotgun. 136 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:39,552 Pigeon and rabbit shooting was something he liked to do. 137 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:42,478 On this occasion, I had followed him, 138 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:45,910 making quite certain that I was seen by no one. 139 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,712 It was a warm summer's evening 140 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:52,550 and there was no danger... of my leaving unwanted footprints, 141 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:54,875 with the ground being so hard. 142 00:09:55,920 --> 00:10:00,072 I ran down the other side of that copse there, 143 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,873 came in through the gate there, 144 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:07,072 and met him here, as if totally by chance, 145 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,475 and we chatted easily. 146 00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:11,750 I showed him a beetle I had in a matchbox. 147 00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:14,189 It was a devil's coach-horse, I believe, 148 00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:16,151 and he told me of an area of woodland 149 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:19,795 where he thought a cracking tree house could be built. 150 00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:23,435 At that time, this fence here was in good repair 151 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:25,599 and I climbed over... 152 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,032 and bade him follow me. 153 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:32,470 He was reluctant to change his course, but I begged him. 154 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,550 He passed me the gun. 155 00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:39,513 I was wearing little yellow knitted string riding gloves, 156 00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:42,358 in order not to leave any fingerprints. 157 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,755 At the very moment he was astride the fence, 158 00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:48,791 I shot him under the chin at point-blank range. 159 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:52,315 He wasrt looking. 160 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,430 He never saw it coming. 161 00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:56,471 He never suspected a thing. 162 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:01,198 I suppose he was the best friend I ever had. 163 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:10,710 Until the Reformation, these fields here were church land, 164 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:15,508 and then, with the dissolution of the monasteries, 165 00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:21,350 thousands upon thousands of acres, were as it were, thrown onto the open market, 166 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:24,278 and the 6th Earl snapped quite a lot of it up. 167 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:40,232 The effect of my brother's death on my parents was frankly astonishing. 168 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:44,193 One might have thought they'd barely notice, but they were shattered. 169 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:45,798 It was really quite moving. 170 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:48,673 They even came together somewhat in their grief, 171 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:52,110 and they gave one attention for the first time in one's life, 172 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:54,594 which was stifling and embarrassing. 173 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:57,438 But I was due to be packed off to school in any case, 174 00:11:57,480 --> 00:12:00,995 so I didn't have to endure for too long their awkward kindnesses. 175 00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:03,955 - (Engine) - What have we here? 176 00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:18,752 - Hello, Giddy, how are you? - All right, thank you. 177 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:21,678 - Where are you taking the plough? - Up Longbottom. 178 00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:25,156 That's right. How are you getting on with this brute? Do you like it? 179 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:28,510 - Best I've ever 'ad. - Good. Mind you, it should be at that price. 180 00:12:28,560 --> 00:12:30,630 - How's your pa? - All right, thank you. 181 00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:33,319 Do give him my regards, he's a good old chap. 182 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:35,351 All right, Giddy, I'll see you later. 183 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:37,630 Keep me informed about the tractor. 184 00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:40,672 If you think they're any good, I might get a couple more. 185 00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:42,711 Jolly good, keep going. 186 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:03,231 When I was 14, my father hanged himself and I took the title. 187 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:08,510 It may be that he never got over the death of my brother. 188 00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:10,551 It was the best thing he could've done. 189 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:14,070 Another five years and there'd have been precious little for me to inerit. 190 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:17,430 He hanged himself from this tree. 191 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:20,629 It was three days before he was found, 192 00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:22,955 and the sad thing is, no one had missed him. 193 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:26,913 Oh, look... some of the rope is still here. 194 00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:30,671 That's rather gruesome. 195 00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:36,553 So, a manager was hired to run the estate until I could take over, 196 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:39,353 and thank the lord, the chap we got was first-rate, 197 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,755 and the situation stabilised somewhat, 198 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:45,588 which, given this was the '30s, was no mean achievement. 199 00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:50,953 My mother retreated further and further into a weird world of her own invention, 200 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:55,073 which seemed to comprise three parts malice to two parts euphoria. 201 00:13:56,120 --> 00:14:01,194 Any visit to her rooms was a delicate exercise in timing. 202 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,109 Then came the war. 203 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:07,550 At the outbreak of hostilities, I was still a schoolboy, of course, 204 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:10,319 but it was naturally assumed that when one became of age, 205 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:12,874 one would follow the course of previous generations 206 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,512 and fight for king and country. 207 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:17,960 But when it came to it, 208 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:21,390 I chose not to be part of this war with the Germans. 209 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:25,638 Quite simply, I did not feel I could, in all conscience, 210 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:28,114 take up arms against Adolf Hitler. 211 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:32,396 Now, there has been an awful lot of the most frightful tosh 212 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:37,116 written and said about this chap, but suffice it to say, 213 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:39,993 that here was a man who'd single-handledly 214 00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:42,554 brought a bankrupt country to prosperity 215 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:44,397 within a very few years. 216 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:48,228 And as a farmer, I had to respect that. 217 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:51,716 Of course, there were aspects to his approach which I found questionable, 218 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:55,753 and there is no doubt I'd have taken issue with him on a number of counts, 219 00:14:55,800 --> 00:15:01,193 but at the end of the day, I felt very strongly, and I still do, as a matter of fact, 220 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:05,358 that we should've been batting on the same side. 221 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:08,551 Moreover, my deciding not to go into battle 222 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:11,433 meant that I was able to immerse myself in the farm. 223 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:15,632 I had some excellent advisors and I was a quick and ready study. 224 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:18,592 The estate was once again on a sound footing 225 00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,590 and it became a preoccupation of mine 226 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:23,710 that we should acquire neighbouring farms 227 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:25,716 as and when they became available. 228 00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:27,835 This we did. 229 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:31,632 Now, historically, the quickest and cheapest way 230 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:35,150 to increase the size of one's holding is through marriage. 231 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,111 The proviso being, of course, 232 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:41,950 that one mustrt allow that awful monster, sentiment, to poke her wet nose in. 233 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,752 No, I was quite clear. 234 00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:49,079 I'd make a methodical search until I found a girl who was wealthy and fertile. 235 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:54,911 There followed an interminable round of tortuous balls and so forth, but I got her. 236 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:59,988 By whatever criteria one chose to judge her, she was a catch. 237 00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:01,871 She was passably attractive, 238 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:03,638 an excellent hostess, 239 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:07,195 and she slipped easily into the running of the household. 240 00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:09,629 She bore me two fine sons 241 00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:12,913 and all was well with the world. 242 00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:16,589 But there's always something round the corner, isn't there? 243 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:20,076 As I trundled along, happy in the knowledge 244 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:24,193 that our position of wealth and privilege was relatively secure, 245 00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:29,268 the gods were preparing to toss the golden apple of chaos into my path. 246 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:31,673 She was younger than my wife. 247 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:35,554 She was a student who'd come to work in the stables during the holidays. 248 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:37,593 She was very, very pretty, 249 00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:39,596 and extraordinarily vital. 250 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:41,119 I was quite overwhelmed. 251 00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:44,630 We enjoyed each other's company so. She made me laugh. 252 00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:47,353 And to my astonishment, I made her laugh. 253 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:51,712 And she teased me, which I found a very novel experience. 254 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:54,638 I fell hopelessly, wondrously in love. 255 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:59,195 It was a very frightening thing to happen to a cold old fish like myself. 256 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:02,755 As far back as one could remember, one had been in control, 257 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:08,432 yet here one was being thrown around by great breakers of love, 258 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:12,029 that would deposit one on some fantastic beach 259 00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:14,230 where everything was new and exciting. 260 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:17,829 Then one would be dragged back into the maelstrom, 261 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:21,270 only to be tossed up onto some other shining shore. 262 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:26,472 However, the light this blessed creature brought to my life 263 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:27,953 shone also on my marriage. 264 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:31,037 It exposed every detail of its drab tedium. 265 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:34,834 I knew what I had to do. It was very simple. I had to get a divorce. 266 00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:37,599 It would be expensive, but won'th every penny, 267 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,756 if it would allow me to remarry. 268 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:42,155 As I fell more and more deeply in love, 269 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:47,228 so, a profound distaste for my lumpen wife grew to nothing short of hatred. 270 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:49,840 And she indeed began to show her true colours. 271 00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:54,158 She would not consider even a trial separation, far less a divorce. 272 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,555 Now this put one in a very difficult position. 273 00:17:56,600 --> 00:18:01,628 and given the situation, her obdurate, intractable stance was deeply offensive. 274 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,830 It was a petty emotional response, 275 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:07,077 calculated to cause me as deep a hurt as possible. 276 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:11,955 I cannot stress too strongly that there was absolutely nothing at all that I could say 277 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:15,436 that could make her shift her position one iota. 278 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:20,429 Any door I tried to open was slammed shut in my face with insolent scorn. 279 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:22,755 I found my plight quite untenable. 280 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:24,916 One had but one option. 281 00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:31,194 As we came along the bank here, 282 00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:34,869 I was mouthing all sorts of drivel about wanting to make a go of it 283 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:37,036 for the childrers sake and so forth. 284 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:40,755 Just here, I grabbed her round the waist, 285 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:42,597 put one hand over her mouth 286 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:45,108 and I launched us both into the lake. 287 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:49,151 She put up a terrific struggle, 288 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:51,794 but I was bigger and stronger than she, 289 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:55,150 and I managed to keep her head under the water. 290 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:58,272 She fought and fought and it seemed to take forever, 291 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:03,678 but gradually the spasms got less and less... 292 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:07,752 and finally she was still. 293 00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:14,068 Then, I saw standing just there, at the corner of the boathouse, 294 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:19,513 my two sons, aged eight and six, their faces studies of bewildered shock... 295 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,632 their possibly having been witness to the whole thing. 296 00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:26,033 I said to them, "There's been a bit of an accident, 297 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:28,275 "come and help Daddy get Mummy out." 298 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:32,350 They came to the bank, offered me their hands, 299 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:36,154 and I pulled them in and drowned them too. 300 00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:45,197 Their struggle was not so great. 301 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:53,195 I made it look like a boating accident. 302 00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:57,552 There was an inquiry and a degree of suspicion, but nothing too serious. 303 00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,716 My alibi proved watertight. 304 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:03,313 And the beautiful girl for whom I'd done all this, 305 00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:05,713 I never saw her again. 306 00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:10,276 After the killings, I left a decent amount of time before getting in touch. 307 00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:12,675 And when I could resist no longer, 308 00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:16,508 I was told that she'd married some Austrian count and was living abroad. 309 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:19,755 I was shattered. 310 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:22,155 I just assumed that things would go my way. 311 00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:28,918 There it is. I don't know, perhaps I hadrt declared myself sufficiently. 312 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,269 It may be that she didn't know how I felt. 313 00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:37,431 Ah, my children! 314 00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:39,994 Come here, my darlings. 315 00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:43,715 I've just been telling the men a story about a water rat. 316 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:46,877 I acted it out for them. I got rather wet. 317 00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:48,319 Have you been in your den? 318 00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:50,396 - No. - Of course we have. 319 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,510 Have you? Could you do me a favour? 320 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:55,757 Run up to the house and tell Mummy we'll be up soon, 321 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:58,075 but don't tell her about the story. 322 00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:00,156 It's going to be a surprise for her. 323 00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,509 Bless you, my darlings, off you go. 324 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:07,271 Come on. 325 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:12,675 So eventually, I married again. 326 00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:17,917 Somewhat late in life, I suppose, but she's an excellent woman. 327 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:21,077 The children are sound, the line continues. 328 00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:24,717 Oh, blast! 329 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,151 Has anyone got a ciggy? 330 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:36,231 The other day, I was rummaging around in one of the attics for something or other, 331 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:40,515 and down at one end, behind a pile of junk, 332 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,598 I came across the most perfect little corner. 333 00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:54,556 Armchair, table, books, toys, rugs, pictures, an oil lamp and some candles, 334 00:21:55,520 --> 00:22:01,072 all arranged very neatly and tastefully and covered with a thick layer of dust. 335 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:04,310 It was my brother's secret place. 336 00:22:06,120 --> 00:22:08,156 There was a diary. 337 00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,634 I read it. 338 00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:13,672 I don't know if he was queer or not. Unlikely, I suppose. 339 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:17,918 There was certainly no evidence of it from his journal. 340 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:19,791 But one thing was very plain. 341 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:22,670 He wasrt dim. 342 00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:27,350 He was an extremely intelligent, rather private, modest boy. 343 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,030 I can't think how I got him wrong. 344 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:39,309 An unspoilt corner of the estate like this 345 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:43,988 gives me more pleasure than almost anything I can think of. 346 00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:47,350 At least here, I'm at one with my ancestors. 347 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:51,439 Here, I have been able to raise a hand to the meddlers, 348 00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:56,793 the accountants, the economists, the euro-bureau-Brussels sprouts, 349 00:22:56,840 --> 00:23:02,039 the... the motorway builders, the town planners, the property developers, 350 00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:06,358 the golf course designers, the parachutists, 351 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:09,790 the bloody Ramblers' Association, et cetera, et cetera! 352 00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:16,598 I raise a hand to them all and I said, "Stop, go away. Thus far and no further." 353 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:19,950 "Bugger off out of it. Sod off, this is my land, 354 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:23,037 "my forefathers' land and my descendants' land, 355 00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,719 "and what we do with it is our business." 356 00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:28,951 And it's so beautiful. 357 00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:32,629 And it's always here... 358 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:37,834 absorbing the wind and the rain and what have you. 359 00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:42,031 And we've kept those other bastards out! 360 00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:45,874 And that's good, isn't it? 361 00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:47,911 Isn't it? 362 00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:52,429 Erm... 363 00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:58,310 If anything should happen to me, I do want this film to be shown. 32062

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