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2
00:00:08,751 --> 00:00:10,676
Okay, Mary,
you're a big city girl
3
00:00:10,869 --> 00:00:13,156
who never stops to enjoy
the little things in life.
4
00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:15,305
And today, it all pays off.
5
00:00:16,408 --> 00:00:18,333
Congratulations, Mary.
6
00:00:18,394 --> 00:00:21,503
All the movies you've produced
for the Heartmark Channel
7
00:00:21,564 --> 00:00:23,263
are huge hits!
8
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:25,190
I mean, Murder She Braised
9
00:00:25,342 --> 00:00:27,379
scored in every single one
of our key demos.
10
00:00:27,403 --> 00:00:31,271
Women 18 to 49
and women 49 and up.
11
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:33,918
Well, I'm very passionate
about telling stories
12
00:00:33,942 --> 00:00:35,846
about homemakers
who solve mysteries.
13
00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:38,520
How would you like
to be president
14
00:00:38,581 --> 00:00:42,432
of our entire
Homemaker Mysteries division?
15
00:00:42,493 --> 00:00:44,117
Thank you, sir. When do I start?
16
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:46,431
What? Hey... oh, not so fast.
17
00:00:46,455 --> 00:00:48,789
One of our other movies is
in a little bit of trouble.
18
00:00:48,883 --> 00:00:50,791
I need you to put out
a few fires
19
00:00:50,885 --> 00:00:54,945
on the set of A Christmas
Ornament for Christmas.
20
00:00:55,005 --> 00:00:57,222
A Christmas movie?
21
00:00:57,415 --> 00:00:58,891
Mary, this is Heartmark.
22
00:00:59,084 --> 00:01:01,124
Christmas movies are
our bread and butter.
23
00:01:01,178 --> 00:01:02,728
You get this one back on track,
24
00:01:02,921 --> 00:01:04,638
the promotion's yours.
25
00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:07,140
I won't let you down.
26
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:08,883
But you hate Christmas.
27
00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:11,719
No, I hate Christmas movies.
28
00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:14,239
How can anyone hate
Christmas movies?
29
00:01:14,432 --> 00:01:16,909
Trust me, I can.
30
00:01:17,102 --> 00:01:20,079
Look, if I want the promotion,
I have to do this.
31
00:01:20,272 --> 00:01:22,322
It's only for a few days.
32
00:01:22,474 --> 00:01:24,899
Ugh. You still don't know
how I take my coffee, do you?
33
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:27,138
Honey, we've been engaged
for two years.
34
00:01:27,162 --> 00:01:28,802
When are you gonna
stop caring about that?
35
00:01:31,150 --> 00:01:32,907
So where are they sending you?
36
00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:35,427
The last small town
that can pass for Canada
37
00:01:35,579 --> 00:01:37,524
passing for America
that didn't already have
38
00:01:37,548 --> 00:01:39,785
another one of our
Christmas movies shooting in it.
40
00:01:47,108 --> 00:01:48,832
So...
41
00:01:48,892 --> 00:01:50,500
real exciting having you
42
00:01:50,561 --> 00:01:52,352
big-city movie guys around.
43
00:01:52,488 --> 00:01:54,949
- Uh-huh.
- Christmas movie shot
in the summer.
44
00:01:54,973 --> 00:01:56,840
Now, uh, why do youse do that?
45
00:01:56,900 --> 00:01:58,860
Well, it's for a variety
of reasons.
46
00:01:58,902 --> 00:02:00,430
Oh, reasons!
47
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,529
Yeah, yeah, I figured, yeah.
48
00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:03,997
And here you are.
49
00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:08,518
Welcome to your Airbnb!
50
00:02:08,579 --> 00:02:10,871
You must be Mary Tannenbaum.
51
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:12,539
I'm Marge Simpson.
52
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,207
Homer, the bags!
53
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:16,301
Yes, Mrs. Simpson.
54
00:02:19,715 --> 00:02:23,425
* Welcome to our humble home *
55
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:27,587
* We have chargers
for your phone. *
56
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:30,040
You know, I'm really tired.
57
00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:32,392
Of course, let me show you
58
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,987
to the Bartholomew suite.
59
00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:37,805
Oh, I can't believe
Mom gave her my room.
60
00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:40,470
She's gonna shed
girl particles all over it.
61
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,514
Shut up, boy,
we're all in this together.
62
00:02:42,538 --> 00:02:44,549
And by "we," I mean "me"
63
00:02:44,573 --> 00:02:47,833
bleeding this movie production
dry for 500 bucks a night.
64
00:02:48,002 --> 00:02:50,335
Fine, then I'm sleeping
in my treehouse.
65
00:02:50,528 --> 00:02:52,045
Heh, good luck.
66
00:02:52,197 --> 00:02:54,025
I'm renting that out
to the sound effects guy.
67
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:59,661
Aw, man, what the...?
68
00:02:59,722 --> 00:03:01,588
Please tell me you have Wi-Fi.
69
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:04,016
Wi-Fi do, that's news to me.
70
00:03:09,431 --> 00:03:11,673
You work for Heartmark?
71
00:03:11,734 --> 00:03:14,162
- Mm.
- I've seen all
the Christmas movies.
72
00:03:14,186 --> 00:03:16,253
Christmas at Cozy Manor.
73
00:03:16,355 --> 00:03:18,438
A Soldier for Mommy
at Christmas.
74
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:22,012
Okay, okay,
in Flyover Country Christmas,
75
00:03:22,036 --> 00:03:25,256
when Abigail found
the nest of reindeer eggs,
76
00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:27,133
- what did she do...
- Look, I have no idea.
77
00:03:27,157 --> 00:03:29,427
I never work
on Christmas movies.
78
00:03:29,451 --> 00:03:30,784
What?
79
00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:33,286
But they're the best ones.
80
00:03:33,439 --> 00:03:35,455
Not for me.
81
00:03:35,591 --> 00:03:37,510
I'm just here
to put out a few fires
82
00:03:37,534 --> 00:03:40,277
and get home to the big city
and my surgeon fianc�.
83
00:03:40,337 --> 00:03:42,304
Sounds handsome.
84
00:03:43,581 --> 00:03:45,849
No rush.
85
00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,064
Ta-da!
86
00:03:52,257 --> 00:03:54,044
It's not
the Sex and City brunches
87
00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:56,460
you're used to,
but we do all right.
88
00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,632
I don't know what goes on
an everything bagel,
89
00:03:58,656 --> 00:04:01,222
so I just took a stab at it.
90
00:04:01,325 --> 00:04:03,242
I actually don't eat bread.
91
00:04:03,435 --> 00:04:05,802
Or dairy or whatever those are.
92
00:04:05,862 --> 00:04:08,229
All right, gluten balls!
93
00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:10,323
Mmm, mmm!
94
00:04:12,127 --> 00:04:13,887
Ms. Tannenbaum?
95
00:04:13,945 --> 00:04:15,565
Do you mind if I shoot
a behind-the-scenes documentary
96
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:19,332
about the movie to earn
my Little Filmmaker merit badge?
97
00:04:19,485 --> 00:04:22,335
I-I don't really know
how to talk to kids.
98
00:04:22,488 --> 00:04:23,929
Neither do I!
99
00:04:24,122 --> 00:04:25,747
I'll see you on set.
100
00:04:25,808 --> 00:04:28,583
Look, I'll just grab
something on my way.
101
00:04:28,686 --> 00:04:30,385
Thanks so much.
102
00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:34,481
Oh, why don't more foods come
in "everything"?
103
00:04:36,134 --> 00:04:37,943
What can I get you, hon?
104
00:04:38,136 --> 00:04:40,854
I'll have an extra-tall, nonfat,
triple-vegan espresso mocha,
105
00:04:40,990 --> 00:04:43,115
clean white, two-pump,
half-barley water,
106
00:04:43,266 --> 00:04:45,211
half-macadamia milk
with room for air.
107
00:04:45,235 --> 00:04:47,193
We got regular
108
00:04:47,346 --> 00:04:49,604
and we got griddle drippings.
109
00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:53,183
I'm sorry, is something funny?
110
00:04:53,243 --> 00:04:56,295
Oh, just you city folk
and your legume milks.
111
00:04:56,446 --> 00:04:58,705
That and this
Pearls Before Swine comic.
112
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:01,041
I was laughing
at both things simultaneously.
113
00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:04,044
Well, at least in the city,
we don't all die at 60
114
00:05:04,196 --> 00:05:05,949
from butter-clogged
heart failure.
115
00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:07,450
No, don't go.
116
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,569
Maybe they've got
some lentils you can milk.
117
00:05:09,593 --> 00:05:11,560
Or acorns.
118
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,221
Ah, city folk.
119
00:05:15,374 --> 00:05:17,707
They don't know the joys
of small-town diners.
120
00:05:17,768 --> 00:05:20,485
Like yelling gossip
across a crowded room.
121
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:23,488
Hey, Sea Captain, how's the IBS?
122
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:26,450
Yarr, if I'm calm, it's calm.
123
00:05:28,311 --> 00:05:30,423
You tell Markie Post
that if she's got issues
124
00:05:30,447 --> 00:05:32,809
with the script, I can have
Swoosie Kurtz on the next plane
125
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,499
out here and for half her price.
126
00:05:34,692 --> 00:05:36,371
And if Swoosie Kurtz has
a problem with that,
127
00:05:36,395 --> 00:05:37,836
Annie Potts is already here.
128
00:05:38,029 --> 00:05:39,983
Great work, Mary,
but we've got more problems.
129
00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:42,582
One... I directed a hundred
of these, they're all the same.
130
00:05:42,718 --> 00:05:45,229
Two... our gazebo guy
has come down
131
00:05:45,253 --> 00:05:47,754
with a nasty case
of carpenter's divorce.
132
00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:52,926
Oh, why didn't I lock my iPad?!
133
00:05:53,078 --> 00:05:54,739
Great. How will people know
134
00:05:54,763 --> 00:05:57,356
this Christmas town is quaint
without multiple gazebos?
135
00:05:57,507 --> 00:05:59,227
And when you got that
figured out,
136
00:05:59,251 --> 00:06:02,102
some local nutjob has taken
down our Christmas stuff.
137
00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:04,938
Ugh. I'll take care of it.
138
00:06:05,090 --> 00:06:06,509
Ugh. It's you.
139
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,425
What do you think you're doing?
140
00:06:08,485 --> 00:06:11,185
I'm setting up the town's annual
Lettuce and Tomato Festival.
141
00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:14,114
It's our summertime tradition
in honor of too-oft eaten,
142
00:06:14,266 --> 00:06:17,042
but seldom celebrated workhorses
of barbecue season.
143
00:06:17,193 --> 00:06:18,451
The whole town turns out.
144
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,473
We're trying
to shoot a movie here.
145
00:06:20,497 --> 00:06:22,956
Well, if your movie is anything
like your gazebos,
146
00:06:23,092 --> 00:06:25,695
you're looking at some major
structure problems,
147
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,219
and I should know.
148
00:06:29,339 --> 00:06:31,056
Hmm. How about this?
149
00:06:31,249 --> 00:06:33,319
You build our gazebos,
and I'll make sure
150
00:06:33,343 --> 00:06:35,468
they halt production
for your little festival.
151
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,562
Mm. All right, you've got,
152
00:06:37,755 --> 00:06:40,649
as you say in the big city,
a deal.
153
00:06:46,632 --> 00:06:50,150
And... good enough.
Or whatever. Who cares really?
154
00:06:51,862 --> 00:06:53,987
Okay, movie's back on schedule,
under budget,
155
00:06:54,139 --> 00:06:57,064
and our shipment of cozy scarves
was released from customs.
156
00:06:57,126 --> 00:06:59,476
Ah, looks like
mission accomplished, Mary.
157
00:06:59,536 --> 00:07:01,068
You know it, Cab Driver.
158
00:07:01,130 --> 00:07:03,130
I can't wait to get home
to my condo,
159
00:07:03,239 --> 00:07:05,235
my gay best friend
and my surgeon fianc�.
160
00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:07,484
And I'll never have
to work on a...
161
00:07:07,544 --> 00:07:09,486
Christmas movie again.
162
00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:14,766
Hello, sir.
163
00:07:14,918 --> 00:07:16,830
Yes, everything's
been taken care of.
164
00:07:16,854 --> 00:07:19,512
You want me to stay
for the entire shoot?
165
00:07:19,665 --> 00:07:21,923
And if I leave
I won't get the promotion?
166
00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:24,684
And I have an annoying way
of talking on the phone?
167
00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:26,319
Yes, sir.
168
00:07:27,990 --> 00:07:30,365
It had to be a Christmas movie.
169
00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:37,030
But Samantha,
I can't go caroling with you.
170
00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:38,792
Your Christmas megastore's
gonna put
171
00:07:38,816 --> 00:07:40,478
my mom-and-pop ornament shop
out of business.
172
00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:42,869
Oh, Bruce, all I cared about
was my career,
173
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:45,108
but then we had that moment
at Christmas Creek,
174
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:46,856
and things changed.
175
00:07:46,917 --> 00:07:48,525
Cut! Cut!
176
00:07:48,585 --> 00:07:50,188
You idiots are using the names
177
00:07:50,212 --> 00:07:52,064
from the last one of these
we shot.
178
00:07:52,088 --> 00:07:54,451
You're Sondra and Jeff now.
179
00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:56,716
Don't worry. We can just
dub the names in later.
180
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,288
Oh, yeah, right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
181
00:07:58,312 --> 00:07:59,703
None of this matters.
182
00:07:59,763 --> 00:08:02,200
All right, moving on
to the... Ooh.
183
00:08:02,224 --> 00:08:05,709
...the golden retriever
Christmas sweater fashion show.
184
00:08:08,939 --> 00:08:10,633
Simpson House Airbnb...
185
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,716
Home of the original
gluten ball.
186
00:08:12,776 --> 00:08:14,659
Free parking on Flanders' lawn.
187
00:08:14,811 --> 00:08:17,662
Oh, Dad,
the house is too full already.
188
00:08:17,855 --> 00:08:19,775
I slept in the bathtub
last night.
189
00:08:19,857 --> 00:08:22,984
I woke up
with drain marks on my face.
190
00:08:23,045 --> 00:08:24,485
Suck it up, Drain Face.
191
00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:27,150
This movie production's
a gold mine.
192
00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:31,062
Hey, how would you fellas like
to sleep in my marital bed?
193
00:08:31,086 --> 00:08:33,011
- Hmm.
- Oh!
194
00:08:33,204 --> 00:08:37,349
Yup. Nothing like the magic
of a fully-funded Hollywood set.
195
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:41,186
Hmm. Who to gouge? Who to gouge?
196
00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:44,356
Well, bad news.
We're all out of fake snow.
197
00:08:44,549 --> 00:08:46,024
So use one of the other brands...
198
00:08:46,217 --> 00:08:48,768
Drift King, Flurry Slurry,
Blizzard Butter.
199
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:50,028
No, there's none left.
200
00:08:50,221 --> 00:08:51,696
Heartmark is shooting at least
201
00:08:51,848 --> 00:08:54,015
50 other Christmas movies
as we speak.
202
00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:55,678
I don't care how much it costs.
203
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:57,351
Just find me some fake snow.
204
00:08:57,412 --> 00:09:00,350
Fake snow? More like easy dough.
205
00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:03,686
How hard could it be
to find white stuff to grind up?
207
00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:39,969
Would you mind taking a break?
208
00:09:40,071 --> 00:09:41,507
We're about
to shoot the pivotal scene
209
00:09:41,531 --> 00:09:42,897
where the two leads realize
210
00:09:42,958 --> 00:09:44,543
they're starting
to like each other.
211
00:09:44,567 --> 00:09:46,137
Well, well,
212
00:09:46,161 --> 00:09:48,587
the big city gal
is telling me to slow down.
213
00:09:48,738 --> 00:09:50,608
There's a humorous reversal
for you.
214
00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,315
The gazebos look great.
215
00:09:52,417 --> 00:09:54,075
You're very talented.
216
00:09:54,136 --> 00:09:56,094
Oh, only with my hands.
217
00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:04,510
Hey there! What a nice surprise!
218
00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:06,457
Hey, babe.
How are things in the boondocks?
219
00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:07,997
God, you must be miserable.
220
00:10:08,058 --> 00:10:11,501
Oh, yeah, I'm surrounded
by a bunch of backwoods,
221
00:10:11,561 --> 00:10:13,601
lotto-scratching,
monster-truck-driving,
222
00:10:13,672 --> 00:10:15,338
Big-Gulp-guzzling bumpkins.
223
00:10:15,398 --> 00:10:17,690
I can't wait
to go back to the city.
224
00:10:17,843 --> 00:10:20,526
Well, it'll all be worth it when
you get your big promotion...
225
00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:22,954
Movie executive
for a greeting card company.
226
00:10:23,147 --> 00:10:25,081
See? I listen.
227
00:10:29,855 --> 00:10:31,421
Ah.
228
00:10:33,342 --> 00:10:34,342
Mm.
229
00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:39,282
Okay, there's nowhere else
to sleep.
230
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:41,348
I have no choice.
231
00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:43,883
! Ay, caramba!
232
00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:46,686
Okay, ladies,
let's get this over with.
233
00:10:50,767 --> 00:10:51,767
Ah!
234
00:10:54,971 --> 00:10:56,851
No more girlie stuff.
Lights out.
235
00:10:56,990 --> 00:11:00,367
As you wish, Prince Pajama Foot.
236
00:11:14,991 --> 00:11:17,028
Most people think
the capital is New York,
237
00:11:17,052 --> 00:11:18,363
but it's Albany.
238
00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:21,179
Most people.
239
00:11:21,372 --> 00:11:23,831
Oh, my God. She's sleep-nerding.
240
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:32,168
Can I sleep in here
with you guys?
241
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,416
Aah!
242
00:11:33,518 --> 00:11:35,860
Oh, sorry, kid,
no room at the inn.
243
00:11:36,053 --> 00:11:37,754
That's it!
244
00:11:37,856 --> 00:11:39,989
I am getting my room back!
245
00:11:43,686 --> 00:11:45,428
- Tough day?
- Aah!
246
00:11:45,488 --> 00:11:47,096
Would you like some tea?
247
00:11:47,157 --> 00:11:49,197
I found the brand
Gwyneth Paltrow likes.
248
00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:51,929
I think you take it orally.
249
00:11:51,953 --> 00:11:54,120
Well, do you have any wine?
250
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:57,106
Wine? Why, yes. Yes, I do.
251
00:11:57,167 --> 00:12:00,944
I'm moving into
"quirky best friend" territory.
252
00:12:01,004 --> 00:12:02,612
So, we were supposed to shoot
253
00:12:02,672 --> 00:12:04,701
the big Christmas tree lighting
scene tomorrow,
254
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,449
but it turns out Springfield has
255
00:12:06,551 --> 00:12:08,727
a very aggressive
beaver population.
256
00:12:10,755 --> 00:12:14,140
So no more
big town-wide celebration.
257
00:12:14,292 --> 00:12:15,734
But you need that!
258
00:12:15,927 --> 00:12:18,311
That's the part in every
Heartmark Christmas movie
259
00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:20,216
where everybody comes together,
260
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,800
and the jaded outsider
is finally won over.
261
00:12:23,902 --> 00:12:26,894
Well, we don't have the time
or money or creativity
262
00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:29,300
to come up with something new.
263
00:12:29,324 --> 00:12:32,751
So unless Springfield already
has some big event tomorrow,
264
00:12:32,902 --> 00:12:36,254
that's already decorated
in Christmas colors...
266
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:52,753
Great work, Mary.
267
00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:54,773
This movie
just might be good enough
268
00:12:54,966 --> 00:12:56,349
to fold laundry to.
269
00:12:56,485 --> 00:12:58,525
How are you gonna explain
all the produce
270
00:12:58,561 --> 00:13:00,503
and people wearing shorts?
271
00:13:00,563 --> 00:13:02,300
Eh, so long
as the attractive white people
272
00:13:02,324 --> 00:13:05,283
make with the closed-mouth
smooches, nobody's complaining.
273
00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:09,932
What is going on here?
274
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:12,106
I leave to pick up
my I-heart-Bibb bibs,
275
00:13:12,167 --> 00:13:16,202
and you turn my summer festival
into a-a-a holiday set piece!
276
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,421
I thought we had a deal.
277
00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:23,376
But look,
everyone's having a great time.
278
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:25,948
Hey, Skinner, I never thought
the Lettice and Tomato Festival
279
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:28,548
could get any better...
But Christmas!
280
00:13:28,642 --> 00:13:32,727
Yeah. Makes Okratoberfest
seem ridiculous in comparison.
281
00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:37,723
All I gotta do
is ruin this movie.
282
00:13:37,818 --> 00:13:39,892
Then I get my room back.
283
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:41,694
Hmm. Hmm...
284
00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:48,117
- Whoa! Hey!
- Hey!
285
00:13:53,783 --> 00:13:56,334
Aw, no, this is the worst thing
to happen to this movie
286
00:13:56,527 --> 00:13:57,985
since someone wrote it.
287
00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:00,672
Okay, that's a wrap for today.
288
00:14:00,865 --> 00:14:03,861
Help. Help! Help! Help, help!
289
00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:05,510
We're trapped.
290
00:14:06,905 --> 00:14:09,389
It had to be a Christmas movie.
291
00:14:14,563 --> 00:14:16,354
Zero bars.
292
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:19,006
Well, we'll just have to dig
our way out.
293
00:14:20,184 --> 00:14:22,839
Aah! What the hell
is this fake snow made of?
294
00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:24,420
I have no idea.
295
00:14:24,522 --> 00:14:26,551
We paid some local lunatic
to grind it for us.
296
00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:28,274
Well, I hope you're happy.
297
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,610
First you ruin my festival,
and now this.
298
00:14:30,762 --> 00:14:32,186
People loved it!
299
00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:34,947
You heard that pair of
nuclear engineering simpletons.
300
00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:36,853
Oh, Lenny and Carl
like everything.
301
00:14:36,877 --> 00:14:38,187
That's their affect.
302
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:40,286
Is it getting hotter in here?
303
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,622
It would appear
our heated verbal sparring
304
00:14:42,774 --> 00:14:44,527
is upping the temperature
in this confined space.
305
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:46,631
Well, I guess
we should agree not to talk.
306
00:14:46,744 --> 00:14:48,344
- Fine.
- Fine.
307
00:14:59,182 --> 00:15:01,733
Um, maybe this'll cool you down.
308
00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:03,985
Thanks.
309
00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:12,818
Look, I'm sorry
I ruined your festival.
310
00:15:12,913 --> 00:15:15,224
No, you made it better.
311
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:18,399
People seemed to actually be
showing up on purpose this year.
312
00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:20,643
Springfield's lucky
to have someone like you
313
00:15:20,703 --> 00:15:22,973
who cares so much
about small-town values.
314
00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:27,817
Sure is hot in here.
315
00:15:27,877 --> 00:15:29,819
Perhaps we should huddle closer.
316
00:15:29,879 --> 00:15:31,137
For coolness.
317
00:15:40,631 --> 00:15:41,755
Good morning.
318
00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:43,149
How did you get out?
319
00:15:43,300 --> 00:15:45,112
Well, luckily,
the fake snow hardened,
320
00:15:45,136 --> 00:15:46,927
and I was able to dig my way out
321
00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:49,614
with this shoehorn
I always carry on my person.
322
00:15:49,807 --> 00:15:51,324
God, you're handy.
323
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,786
One extra-tall, nonfat,
triple-vegan espresso mocha,
324
00:15:54,979 --> 00:15:56,957
clean white,
two-pump, half-barley water,
325
00:15:56,981 --> 00:15:59,606
half-macadamia milk
with room for air.
326
00:15:59,668 --> 00:16:02,627
- You remembered.
- Who could forget it?
327
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,773
Mary?
328
00:16:08,860 --> 00:16:11,043
So this is why
you didn't answer my calls.
329
00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:12,712
No! It's not what it looks like!
330
00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:15,139
He's just the gazebo builder.
331
00:16:18,979 --> 00:16:21,370
You took my room from me,
movie lady.
332
00:16:21,431 --> 00:16:23,982
And now it's payback time.
333
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:26,985
Hey, everybody! Want to see
what this Heartmark phony
334
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:28,861
really thinks of you?
335
00:16:31,825 --> 00:16:32,898
My footage!
336
00:16:33,051 --> 00:16:34,808
Oh. Yeah.
337
00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:37,996
I'm surrounded by a bunch
of backwoods, lotto-scratching,
338
00:16:38,189 --> 00:16:39,330
monster-truck-driving,
339
00:16:39,523 --> 00:16:40,977
Big Gulp-guzzling bumpkins.
340
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:45,222
But we opened our hearts to you.
341
00:16:45,246 --> 00:16:47,672
I let myself be whimsical
in front of you!
342
00:16:47,865 --> 00:16:51,325
How dare you
not be charmed by us.
343
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,682
I may drive a monster truck,
344
00:16:57,833 --> 00:17:00,852
but the real monster is she!
345
00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:06,615
Wait! I didn't mean it!
346
00:17:06,684 --> 00:17:08,934
And we know all about your plans
to sell the town
347
00:17:09,029 --> 00:17:12,179
to that big developer who wants
to turn it into condos.
348
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,774
No, I'm not.
How would I sell the town?
349
00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:16,295
Yeah, all right.
Forget I said anything.
350
00:17:16,319 --> 00:17:17,905
I took a shot. I whiffed it.
351
00:17:17,929 --> 00:17:19,015
Let's just... move on.
352
00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:20,538
Mary, you got to do something.
353
00:17:20,731 --> 00:17:23,207
Without these Big Gulp-guzzling
bumpkins as extras,
354
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,101
we can't finish the movie.
355
00:17:25,161 --> 00:17:26,769
Come back, everyone!
356
00:17:26,829 --> 00:17:28,337
Come back.
357
00:17:30,866 --> 00:17:34,052
I love it
when a shoot falls apart.
358
00:17:41,177 --> 00:17:43,394
I was sent here
to put out fires.
359
00:17:45,223 --> 00:17:48,808
How could you say those hurtful
things about Springfield?
360
00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:52,386
I'm sorry, but working
on this movie's been so painful.
361
00:17:52,489 --> 00:17:55,648
For me, Christmas is the least
wonderful time of the year.
362
00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:57,300
But the song says "the most."
363
00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:59,285
I know what the song says!
364
00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:04,248
There's a reason
I hate Christmas movies.
365
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,253
It all started one winter,
366
00:18:09,446 --> 00:18:11,406
when a movie production
came to town.
367
00:18:11,482 --> 00:18:13,925
My dad thought
it'd be fun to be an extra.
368
00:18:14,118 --> 00:18:16,152
They cast him
as a store employee
369
00:18:16,254 --> 00:18:18,412
in a scene where crazed parents
stormed in
370
00:18:18,473 --> 00:18:20,247
to get the hottest toy.
371
00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:21,915
He was trampled to death.
372
00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:23,954
You can still see
his last moments on Earth
373
00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:26,086
in the trailer for...
374
00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:28,755
Jingle All the Way.
375
00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:32,610
And now I've lost everything,
376
00:18:32,803 --> 00:18:34,612
my fianc�, my dream job
377
00:18:34,805 --> 00:18:35,947
and, worst of all,
378
00:18:36,098 --> 00:18:38,190
the respect of a small town.
379
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,860
Then you do like Springfield.
380
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:42,361
I've come to love this place,
381
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,174
with its homespun ways,
382
00:18:44,198 --> 00:18:45,790
its earnest, hardworking folk
383
00:18:45,983 --> 00:18:48,534
and its wonderful
airbed-and-breakfasts.
384
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,035
I guess what I'm saying is,
385
00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:52,255
I'm really gonna miss you all.
386
00:18:56,919 --> 00:18:58,136
Airport, please.
387
00:18:58,287 --> 00:18:59,378
Right away.
388
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,472
I just got to make
one quick stop.
389
00:19:03,759 --> 00:19:06,572
The simple townsfolk are
rebuilding the set!
390
00:19:06,596 --> 00:19:08,312
It's a miracle!
391
00:19:08,464 --> 00:19:11,965
We're gonna be able to finish
this piece of crap after all.
392
00:19:14,270 --> 00:19:16,261
You. But how?
393
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:19,490
I gave a rousing speech
about how our Gulps might be big
394
00:19:19,683 --> 00:19:21,384
and our trucks might be monster
395
00:19:21,444 --> 00:19:23,903
but our hearts
are enlarged as well.
396
00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:27,406
And I secretly filmed you saying
nice things to my mom.
397
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:30,001
And I showed the whole town.
398
00:19:30,194 --> 00:19:33,171
Yeah, and we saw that was
the real youse.
399
00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:37,341
Thank you for showing me
that small towns
400
00:19:37,493 --> 00:19:39,177
are the best-sized towns of all
401
00:19:39,370 --> 00:19:41,846
and Christmas movies
are the best movies,
402
00:19:41,997 --> 00:19:43,850
because everything
always works out,
403
00:19:43,874 --> 00:19:45,683
no matter how contrived.
404
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:48,019
Now let's finish this movie.
405
00:19:49,713 --> 00:19:51,022
Mary, wait, I...
406
00:19:51,215 --> 00:19:52,692
I don't know
what happened in that gazebo,
407
00:19:52,716 --> 00:19:53,716
but I don't care!
408
00:19:53,884 --> 00:19:55,008
So who's it gonna be,
409
00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:56,485
me or him?
410
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:00,031
Darling, you're perfect.
411
00:20:00,224 --> 00:20:02,608
But maybe life isn't
about perfect.
412
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,851
Skinner...
I don't know your first name...
413
00:20:04,913 --> 00:20:07,354
You're the one who remembered
how I like my coffee,
414
00:20:07,415 --> 00:20:09,540
and that's why I choose you.
415
00:20:09,733 --> 00:20:11,209
Aw!
416
00:20:12,161 --> 00:20:13,102
Are you nuts?
417
00:20:13,162 --> 00:20:14,356
Pick him!
418
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:16,066
He's a thousand times better
than me.
419
00:20:16,090 --> 00:20:17,289
He's a surgeon.
420
00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:19,217
A handsome surgeon.
421
00:20:19,410 --> 00:20:20,459
What was your plan?
422
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:21,864
Were you gonna move here?
423
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:23,554
Were we gonna share a car?
424
00:20:23,706 --> 00:20:26,849
I'm getting dizzy just thinking
about your poor decision-making.
425
00:20:29,011 --> 00:20:30,453
This is twice now.
426
00:20:30,513 --> 00:20:32,146
I know.
429
00:20:54,870 --> 00:20:57,480
That was the worst movie
I've ever seen.
430
00:20:57,540 --> 00:20:59,757
That snow looked so fake.
431
00:20:59,908 --> 00:21:01,575
Mom, uh...
432
00:21:01,636 --> 00:21:02,651
no.
433
00:21:02,712 --> 00:21:04,073
I don't care!
434
00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:05,488
These movies are for moms
435
00:21:05,548 --> 00:21:08,173
and their wine
and a cozy throw blanket
436
00:21:08,326 --> 00:21:10,417
and a candle
that smells like a pine tree
437
00:21:10,478 --> 00:21:12,414
or hot apples.
438
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:13,940
If you're not any
of those things,
439
00:21:13,964 --> 00:21:16,181
scram before
the next one starts.
31456
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