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1
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:05,160
INDISTINCT CHATTER
2
00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:08,840
Very clever...
LAUGHTER
3
00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:12,440
LAUGHTER
4
00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:14,640
Right, who's responsible?!
5
00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:15,840
O'Neill, sir.
6
00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:17,960
Vincent?
Nothing to do with me, sir.
7
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,160
Oh, really?
So, Carl's lying, is he?
8
00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:21,200
Yeah, he's lying.
9
00:00:21,240 --> 00:00:24,520
And he better take it back,
cos that's thingy...liable.
10
00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:27,120
Slander.
Slander.
11
00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:28,240
Come up here!
12
00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:30,520
Show me your hands...
13
00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:32,280
What?
Hands!
14
00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:36,080
I can explain...
Caught red‐handed.
15
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:39,840
You're a liar, O'Neill.
And liars need to be punished.
16
00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:43,760
ALL EXCLAIM
Here we go...
17
00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:46,360
Say sorry to Humphrey.
18
00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:49,280
The thing is, Mr Bates,
he's essentially a trainer.
19
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:50,320
Yes...
20
00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:54,360
And if he doesn't get an apology,
he gets tremendously angry!
21
00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:56,360
All right, I'm sorry!
To Humphrey!
22
00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:58,400
Sorry...trainer.
23
00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:01,000
Say his name!
I'm not saying his name!
24
00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:02,840
Does he have to say his name?
ALL: Yes!
25
00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:04,800
Thanks, dickheads!
Say it, O'Neill!
26
00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:06,160
Shut up, you dog‐bumming twat!
27
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,760
Say sorry to the shoe!
I'm not apologising to footwear!
28
00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:11,200
ALL: Sorry to the shoe!
Sorry to the shoe!
29
00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:12,880
Sorry to the shoe!
30
00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:16,160
CHANTING CONTINUES
31
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:17,280
Sorry to the shoe!
32
00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:20,120
The best things in life
Are free...
33
00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:24,360
You're a thief, O'Neill,
always were and always will be!
34
00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:27,720
I need money
That's what I want
35
00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:30,520
That's what I want
That's what I want
36
00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:32,080
Sorry, shoe...
37
00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:34,880
That's what I want
38
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,560
That's what I want
That's what I want.
39
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,200
Aren't you practically
Terence's bitch now, though,
40
00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:43,800
you doing all the work,
while he takes all the profit?
41
00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:45,240
No, I am not Terence's bitch.
42
00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:47,000
He's a fucking ENT‐repreneur.
43
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,840
Yeah, ent...
entrepreneur.
44
00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:51,360
Entrepreneur,
investing in our start‐up company.
45
00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:54,320
Which means better facilities,
better weed...
46
00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:56,520
Fucking hell,
we're moving up a league here.
47
00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:58,560
Hang on, sweetheart.
Don't get me wrong,
48
00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:00,600
it's great
we're Terence's top supplier,
49
00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:01,880
but I'm a businessman now,
50
00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:03,920
and businessmen
have responsibilities.
51
00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:04,960
Like fucking what?
52
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,600
Like sorting out this place.
Look at it.
53
00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:09,280
There's spliff butts
in every crevice,
54
00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:10,680
a used condom in the hand‐drier,
55
00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:13,120
some idiot's been cold‐lunching
by the fire exit.
56
00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,480
Are you Hawley's Larry Flynt
or something? Hey, hey...
57
00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:17,480
Dickhead, I'm doing this for us.
58
00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:19,760
I mean, fair do's,
I might be managing director,
59
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:21,880
but we're all stakeholders, yeah?
60
00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:24,560
And its success
relies on our shared efforts.
61
00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:25,960
Which is why...
62
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,320
..I was hoping you might
come somewhere with me.
63
00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:30,080
Come somewhere with you?
Like where?
64
00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:32,080
A little, er, trip out.
65
00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:33,400
Like where?
66
00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:34,680
HE INHALES
67
00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:38,320
I'm planning a room in the back,
for, you know...specialist clients.
68
00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:40,480
A blue room, if you will.
69
00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:42,280
And I've got this vision in my mind.
70
00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:44,400
I want it kitted out
in a very particular way.
71
00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:50,000
Who's gonna want to eat their dinner
off that?
72
00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:51,040
They're perfect.
73
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:54,440
Look at the detail.
74
00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:56,960
Little willy sculptures
all across the top of it.
75
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,480
Hmm.
76
00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:01,080
Hey, I tell who'd like these,
you know...
77
00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:03,080
Fucking McCann.
Oi! Eyes off, sunshine!
78
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:04,280
Use your bloody head.
79
00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:06,960
He loves a pervy antique.
It'll keep him sweet, won't it?
80
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,960
All right,
how's about you take these drawers?
81
00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:13,800
There's fuck all erotic about 'em,
dude.
82
00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:15,280
Check out the side.
83
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:16,640
Christ...
84
00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:18,240
Look...
85
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:20,760
HE GROANS
A big snizz on it.
86
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:22,280
ALL LAUGH
87
00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:24,200
That is...
That's pornographic, that.
88
00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:26,440
That's disgusting.
Hey, hey, hey...
89
00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:28,040
It's a thing of beauty, that is.
90
00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:30,240
It's a work of art, the female twat.
91
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,520
You help me with the rest,
the drawers are yours.
92
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,560
All right, then.
So, when are they shifting 'em?
93
00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:39,280
The museum can't afford
expensive storage arrangements,
94
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,520
so I'm reliably informed they're
sticking them in non‐descript boxes
95
00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:45,800
and whacking 'em in shipping
containers in the staff car park.
96
00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:47,880
What, with no security?
They've got security.
97
00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:50,240
CCTV, a guard with a dog.
98
00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:52,880
What kind of dog?
A fucking labradoodle!
99
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:54,800
What'd you mean,
what kind of fucking dog?
100
00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:56,240
If it's a fucking Rottweiler,
101
00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:57,960
they're trained to grab
by the throat.
102
00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,360
We'll bring some dog food.
103
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,400
There's a thing you can get,
a dart gun, tranquiliser. Exactly.
104
00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:04,520
Shoot that up its arse
and we're good to go.
105
00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:06,640
Right...
You know what I'm gonna ask.
106
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,480
Is this worth it,
all of this trouble
107
00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:10,360
for some weird crap
for his perv room?
108
00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:13,200
Have a bit of vision,
for once in your fucking life, mate.
109
00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:15,480
We could be the next Hustler Club,
yeah?
110
00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:19,000
And it's the class and attention
to detail that's gonna get us there.
111
00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:21,360
Vinnie?
I'm up for it.
112
00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:23,400
Anything that doesn't involve
being in disguise
113
00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:25,840
or in fear for my fucking life.
Grand, yeah.
114
00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:27,880
Count me out.
Yeah, me, too.
115
00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:29,480
Just the three of us, then.
116
00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:33,000
The Three Musketeers,
all for one and one for fucking all.
117
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,600
ALL CHUCKLE
118
00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:37,080
Where's Cardi?
119
00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:38,880
Cardi!
120
00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:39,920
Car...
121
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,880
Hello.
Hello.
122
00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,840
What's all that shit on your face?
Have you been tanning? No.
123
00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:47,600
Yeah, you have.
Oi, oi.
124
00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:50,000
What's he wearing?
What's this man got on?
125
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:53,000
LAUGHTER
You know when you've been Tangoed.
126
00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:54,840
Right, come on,
do some explaining.
127
00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,360
Look, I'm just b‐b‐busy, all right?
128
00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:58,920
I'm not always a‐a‐available.
129
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,560
You know, sometimes, I do have
other things going on in my life.
130
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,400
Yeah? Like what?
Cardi...!
131
00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:06,440
Cardi, come on. Come on.
We have to do a second coat...
132
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,880
Oh, how are you, Vinnie?
She does this with all the fellas.
133
00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:11,320
We're having a spa day
at home today. Aren't we, Cardi?
134
00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:14,880
Er, well, it's, erm...
Oh, it's all going on today.
135
00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:17,080
Jacuzzi, massage, facials...
136
00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:20,080
Might even do a cucumber body wrap
later, if we've the time.
137
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,640
Oh, cucumber body wrap?
138
00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:24,080
Right, well, listen,
have a lovely time.
139
00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:26,440
Er, w‐w‐what are you doing?
140
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:28,520
Go back to your tanning, you.
You're patchy.
141
00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:30,800
Have a good time!
Oh, we will!
142
00:05:30,840 --> 00:05:32,640
How much do you want for your tooth?
143
00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:36,320
Thirty pounds.
Thirty bloody quid?
144
00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:37,920
You can have a fiver
if I can touch it.
145
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,560
Gross...
146
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,120
Urgh!
147
00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:43,040
There you go.
Thanks.
148
00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:46,000
It's good to have you back.
Yeah, it's good to be back.
149
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:49,440
Thanks for bringing him
to come and see me,
150
00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:51,080
when I was stuck in that hole.
151
00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:53,200
That little face kept me going.
152
00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:55,600
Why don't you go and play
upstairs for a bit?
153
00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:56,720
Go on, bog off.
154
00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:01,240
We were worried about you.
Hmm...
155
00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:04,080
I've been worried about me.
156
00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:06,880
I had some dark days.
157
00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:11,440
But him...
158
00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:15,320
I really love that boy.
159
00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:18,400
I know.
160
00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:23,640
Right...
161
00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:25,760
Gotta go to Jake's
bloody dinner party now.
162
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,560
Mm‐hm.
See you later.
163
00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:29,920
See you.
Right, Sugar should be back, OK?
164
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:31,640
She'll put him to bed.
OK.
165
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:34,160
All right, bye, baby.
Love you. Love you.
166
00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:35,760
Enjoy your time.
167
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,880
Aw, bloody snuggles, eh?
168
00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,840
What film do you wanna watch?
169
00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:42,320
Hey, Vin.
170
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,080
What can I do you for?
171
00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:45,600
I don't know, man...
172
00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,320
Do you ever wish...
173
00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:53,880
..you could just,
you could just tell people things?
174
00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:55,240
You know...
175
00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:57,920
..if things were just different,
you could tell 'em...
176
00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:03,320
..and they'd be happy,
and you'd be happy.
177
00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,440
No. Fuck...
178
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:10,040
Do you know what I mean?
I know exactly what you mean.
179
00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:11,600
Yeah?
Yeah.
180
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,640
I'm seeing this new woman, Casandra.
181
00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:15,280
Total fitness freak.
182
00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:19,320
It's all organic wheatgrass
and tantric vaginal Pilates.
183
00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:21,560
Look what she's got me wearing.
Look...
184
00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:23,560
What's that?
A detox patch.
185
00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:26,400
She says it realigns my chi.
Right.
186
00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:28,920
But I'm hooked, Vin.
I'm obsessed with her.
187
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:31,360
I'm absolutely obsessed with her.
188
00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:33,720
She's like fragrant Viagra.
189
00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:36,640
All right...
The sex is amazing.
190
00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:39,080
I'm happy... I'm happy for you.
Fucking nice knees?
191
00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:41,440
Amazing. Amazing!
192
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:44,080
But the intercourse, Vincent...
Oh, my God!
193
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:45,800
God, I wish you could just...
194
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,320
I wish you could experience...
195
00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:50,440
I wish you could take a day,
step inside my body,
196
00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:52,200
take control of my chopper and...
197
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,760
Just profound...
Chris...
198
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,960
Stop, stop!
Sensational!
199
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,000
Just stop!
200
00:07:58,040 --> 00:07:59,840
Shut the fuck...
You've gone too far again!
201
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:02,160
Why the fuck would I wanna be
your dick for a day?
202
00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:05,400
You hijack these fucking sessions
every time.
203
00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:07,440
Talking about fucking sheilas...
204
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:10,720
..sloppy blow jobs or whatever.
205
00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:13,160
Quite right. Quite right.
Let's reverse these roles.
206
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:15,200
You're the doctor, I'm the patient.
207
00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:16,720
Do you know what I mean?
208
00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:18,800
Sorry.
It's all right.
209
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:21,080
Sorry, Vin.
210
00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:24,000
Sorry.
211
00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:26,840
So, how are you?
212
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:30,840
I miss my kid.
213
00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:33,200
Well, it's not my kid.
It's the mother of my kid.
214
00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:35,800
She's amazing.
215
00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:38,000
I just wish I wasn't such a...
fuck up.
216
00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:39,720
What is wrong with...?
Oi!
217
00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:40,880
What?
218
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:43,760
Just tell me about
your tantric minge sex, then.
219
00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:45,960
No. Go on. Carry on.
I was listening.
220
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,960
What are you looking at?
Nothing.
221
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,920
You were looking
at your fucking screen.
222
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:52,000
What are you looking at?
Nothing on it.
223
00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:53,920
Nothing here.
There's no need to...
224
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:55,760
There! There! There!
There's nothing on it!
225
00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:56,880
Motherfucker!
226
00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,920
I don't know why I let you talk me
into these things.
227
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:07,720
Cos you love it, that's why.
228
00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:10,000
Do we all know what we're doing?
Yeah.
229
00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:11,040
Sound.
230
00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:17,240
Oh, fucking hell, dude!
231
00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:21,280
Nearly took my fucking hand off.
232
00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:24,400
You great knobhead,
what are you doing wearing that?
233
00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:25,600
Reverse psychology.
234
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:28,040
Ah, I've always wanted to use
one of these, lads.
235
00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:30,960
Where the fuck
did you get that from? Kitty Mclean.
236
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:33,440
Cat burglar? That's him, yeah.
He got a job lot one Christmas.
237
00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:36,120
He only charged me a tenner
for that. Hup!
238
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,760
Argh!
239
00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:45,160
Fuck's sake!
Quiet, dude!
240
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,120
Jesus! Quiet?
241
00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:49,160
You've fucking gashed my head open!
242
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,600
It didn't clasp.
Maybe that's why it were a tenner.
243
00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:52,800
Here, let me have a look.
244
00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:57,440
There's fuck all there, man.
Are you sure?
245
00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:58,480
Shut the fuck up.
246
00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:22,200
Have you got the tranquiliser gun?
I have it here.
247
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:25,400
Where do you shoot it?
In the arse.
248
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:26,800
All right, now listen...
249
00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:29,280
For fuck sake, don't miss.
Last thing we need is an angry dog.
250
00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:30,760
I won't.
All right...
251
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,200
Fuck me...
252
00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,680
Shit!
Vin...
253
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:41,720
What?
Look.
254
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:47,440
Who the fuck are they?
255
00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:50,960
Oh...!
256
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:57,960
Jake tells me you're running a local
wine bar alongside your studies.
257
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:01,280
Impressive.
Well, I wouldn't call it a wine bar.
258
00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:03,480
It's an evening drinkery.
Great.
259
00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:06,160
We must come down.
260
00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:08,720
Charlton and I love an excuse
to get out and about.
261
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:11,440
Yeah, that'd be great.
What's it called?
262
00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:14,920
It's called The Rat &...
The Ratatouille.
263
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,280
Right. Fantastic.
Mmm.
264
00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:21,640
Amazing cocktails.
Mum loves a cocktail, don't you?
265
00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:23,440
Death in the Afternoon.
266
00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:26,080
It's what Hemingway used to drink.
267
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,200
SHE CHUCKLES
268
00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:39,320
Motherfuckers...
Who the fuck are they?!
269
00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:40,680
No idea.
270
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:43,040
Who told you about the gear
being kept here?
271
00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:45,800
You remember Sheridan,
my sister's chiropodist? No.
272
00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:47,800
Yeah, you do.
Big lass, grey hair.
273
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:49,080
Shiny forehead.
274
00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:52,040
Oh... Anyway, her cousin Elaine,
right, Elaine...
275
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:54,720
Who's Elaine? You met her,
but you were off your face.
276
00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:56,480
Good night, that, won't it?
277
00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:59,000
Anyway, she's going out with Ian.
Remember Ian? I do know Ian.
278
00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:00,880
Massive hair.
Yeah...
279
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:03,000
Fucking hell.
Shut the fuck up.
280
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:04,040
Yeah...
281
00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:06,320
It doesn't make any difference
whoever it was.
282
00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:09,160
They have blabbed and now these
wankers are nicking all our gear.
283
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:11,560
Shall we just bail?
And let them have it?
284
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,600
What's the option?
They're fucking armed.
285
00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:15,520
Fucking armed, JJ?
Yes, armed!
286
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:17,640
Are we seriously
gonna get ourselves killed
287
00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:19,280
for some chairs with dicks on?
No!
288
00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:22,320
Hey, hey, hey...
Erotic curiosities, all right?
289
00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:24,960
If I wanted a chair with dicks on,
I'd speak to your barber.
290
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,520
Why are you always dissing my
barber? Can you tell him, please?
291
00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:30,440
Oi, listen to me.
We're professional thieves.
292
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:33,160
Ashley, we're professional thieves.
293
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:37,120
We can't have people turning up
before us, just nicking our shit.
294
00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:38,520
Do you know what I mean?
295
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:42,000
Let's get back in the van.
296
00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:45,760
All right, they're coming.
Get down.
297
00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:49,120
Fuck's sake... Christ!
Why did you duck in my direction?
298
00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:51,000
The same fucking spot,
are you kidding me?
299
00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:52,880
Right, come on, follow 'em.
300
00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:55,840
Yeah, that's it, do a fucking
nine‐point turn, Ashley!
301
00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:58,960
You sexy idiot, what are you doing?!
You fucking big fat hand.
302
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,400
Moron!
303
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:10,280
What's going on?
Why are we slowing down?
304
00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:12,760
Why the fuck are we slow...?
What are you doing?!
305
00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:14,920
It's a red light.
Never mind red light!
306
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,320
We're gonna fucking lose 'em!
We're not gonna lose them.
307
00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,560
They've gone straight ahead
in a massive green van...
308
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,920
We're in a covert criminal pursuit
and you're obeying the Highway Code!
309
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:24,680
It'll be a few seconds.
Fuck, dude.
310
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,080
HE HUMS
311
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:30,720
Taking a while, aren't they?
Go through the red light!
312
00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:32,840
The road's completely deserted!
Fine...
313
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:35,200
VAN STALLS
Oh, nice one, you bellend!
314
00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:37,640
That's you stressing me out!
I'm fucking stressing you out?
315
00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:40,000
Constantly on at me!
Start the van!
316
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:42,000
I'm starting the fucking van!
HORN BLARES
317
00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:44,480
Fucking go!
They've gone red again!
318
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:45,960
You're jiggling...
319
00:13:57,400 --> 00:14:00,680
Right, now, listen. The element
of surprise is our best friend here.
320
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:03,360
They're not gonna be expecting us
turning up, nicking their gear.
321
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:04,880
So...
322
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:06,080
..stealth.
323
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:09,560
HORN TOOTS
Ashley!
324
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:10,760
HORN TOOTS
Oh, shit!
325
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:13,280
Right, I'll take left,
you take right.
326
00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:20,800
You shit...
327
00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:22,200
STRAINING
328
00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:24,560
SPRAINING AND GROANING
I can't see!
329
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:26,520
Ow!
My eyes!
330
00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:27,800
Help! Help!
331
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,880
HE GROANS
332
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:35,560
It's me, you daft....
Urgh!
333
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,880
How many fingers?
One.
334
00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,440
Brilliant. That'll do.
In the van.
335
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,520
Shithead,
get in in the fucking van!
336
00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:44,240
Argh!
337
00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:46,080
Get in, JJ!
338
00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:49,280
Wait! Hey!
339
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,320
That's not fucking JJ!
340
00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:56,920
JJ?!
Go, go, go...
341
00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,760
I'll get the other van!
342
00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:01,640
Stop, for Christ's sake!
343
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:08,560
SHE SIGHS
344
00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:11,040
PHONE CHIMES
345
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:16,280
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
346
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:25,560
Hi, Erin.
347
00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:26,800
Hi...
348
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,360
Arr‐on?
It's, er... It's Aaron.
349
00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:32,760
Like, air‐on.
CHUCKLES
350
00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:35,400
Anyway, erm...
Can I show you something?
351
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:40,000
Er, yeah, OK. Where?
Just...
352
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,200
Through?
Yeah.
353
00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:48,000
It's our old playroom, me and Jake.
354
00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:50,000
HE CHUCKLES
355
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:52,720
We spent a lot of time in here
as kids.
356
00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:56,200
Brothers, you know,
very competitive with each other.
357
00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:57,520
I bet.
358
00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:01,560
Have you got a sibling?
Er, yeah. I've got a brother.
359
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:04,000
A bit of a moron.
BOTH LAUGH
360
00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:06,120
Me and Jake were so competitive.
361
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:10,280
But, erm...
362
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:13,280
You wanna know something?
363
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:14,600
Yeah.
364
00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:17,560
I'm better than him.
365
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:21,560
Right...
366
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:23,640
At everything, Erin.
367
00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:27,680
I'm a stallion.
He's a gelding.
368
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:31,440
And I've had that confirmed.
369
00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:34,160
So you know.
370
00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:40,960
A word.
371
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:45,400
Look in there.
372
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,840
They haven't even fucking
nicked everything!
373
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:52,320
Yeah, but they took the drawers,
though. Where's the chairs?
374
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:55,160
Mate? Eh?
Where's the fucking chaise longue?
375
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,480
This is your fault, this is!
My fault?
376
00:16:57,520 --> 00:17:00,760
Yes! Your fault!
"Follow 'em," he says.
377
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,840
Yeah, cos I thought
they were gonna take it all!
378
00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:04,840
What the fuck
were I supposed to do, dude?
379
00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:07,640
Hang on till they'd gone, take
whatever they didn't want? Bollocks!
380
00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:10,080
This is a cock‐up, this.
I'm having them drawers.
381
00:17:10,120 --> 00:17:12,760
Like fuck you're having them.
Them's for McCann.
382
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:15,600
Why do you want drawers
in your pervy sex room, anyway?
383
00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:18,400
What you gonna fucking keep in 'em?
Lots of things, actually, mate.
384
00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:19,840
Lube...
385
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,120
Do you know what,
just fucking have 'em!
386
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,240
HE MUTTERS
387
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,360
Right, I'm off.
I've got a headache, yeah?
388
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:33,640
Cos this bellend here dropped
a ship's anchor on my bonnet.
389
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:35,840
Don't storm off.
No, mate. You took it too far.
390
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,880
Don't storm...
What the fuck are you laughing at?
391
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,760
Your eyes are fucked, dude.
392
00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:43,840
Get in the van.
393
00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:46,000
I don't need that shit, Jake.
I know...
394
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:48,360
Do you know what I mean?
It's just Aaron.
395
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,280
He...
He's got a weird sense of humour.
396
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:51,640
Yeah, it's fucking weird.
397
00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:54,760
I'll talk with him.
398
00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:58,160
Look, go back in...
399
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:01,400
..have a drink.
400
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:02,440
Please.
401
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:05,080
OK...
Thank you.
402
00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:08,760
SHE SIGHS
403
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,120
Do you, erm...?
Do you like 'em?
404
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:18,920
Where'd you get 'em?
They fell into my possession.
405
00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:20,400
Where?
The museum.
406
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:22,680
Someone robbed the museum,
so we robbed them.
407
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:24,520
Stolen items...
408
00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:26,960
There's gonna be a whole shitshow,
Vin.
409
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,640
This is Regency, 1800s.
410
00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:31,000
Right.
411
00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:34,840
Shall I...? Shall I give 'em back?
Give 'em back?
412
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,320
No, you will not
fucking give 'em back.
413
00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:40,160
This is a very nice piece
of furniture. Huh...
414
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:42,760
But it can't come in the house.
415
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,360
I know a man who can look after it
for me.
416
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:45,640
I'll call him in the morning.
417
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:48,160
Can you hang on to it until
tomorrow? Yeah, course, yeah.
418
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,960
Good lad.
Now get the fuck out of here.
419
00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:58,280
DOOR CLOSES IN DISTANCE
420
00:18:58,320 --> 00:18:59,880
What the fuck's this?
421
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:10,960
PHONE VIBRATES
422
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,360
Sometimes there's so much snow,
like last year.
423
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,520
So much snow,
they had to close the slopes.
424
00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:18,240
Am I all right to get some water?
Two minutes. Thank you.
425
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:19,720
Another day
426
00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:21,080
SHE SIGHS
427
00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:22,960
Oh, what a wonder
428
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,720
Oh, what a waste
429
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:26,400
It's a Monday
430
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:27,760
LAUGHTER
431
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,280
It's so mundane
432
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:33,680
What exciting things
Will happen today?
433
00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:35,880
All of a sudden
434
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:38,560
I'm having trouble breathing in
435
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:42,720
I'm having trouble breathing in
436
00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:44,360
LINE RINGS
437
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,760
I'm having trouble breathing in
438
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:48,200
All right, this is Dylan.
439
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:50,120
Leave a message.
Unless you're Vinnie.
440
00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:51,880
I'm having trouble breathing in.
441
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,080
PHONE RINGS
442
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:15,000
GUNSHOT
Oh, fuck!
443
00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:16,320
I'm armed!
444
00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:20,520
It's fucking me, you knobhead!
There's five of us in here!
445
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:22,440
Oh, yeah, and two...two dogs!
446
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:25,280
So, whoever you are,
you're outnumbered!
447
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:28,160
It's me!
I know my rights!
448
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:29,280
Oh, fuck!
449
00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:33,440
I can blow your brains out and no
judge in the land will convict me!
450
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:36,640
It's fucking... It's Vinnie!
Put the fucking gun down!
451
00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:38,120
Vinnie?
Yeah!
452
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:39,800
Oh, what you doing?
453
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:42,800
I thought you were an immigrant!
Why the fuck would I be immigrants?
454
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:45,920
What do you want? I thought
you were going back to your shack.
455
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:49,640
Yeah, I know, but...
It's not a bed and breakfast, Vin.
456
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:51,800
I'm not Airbnb.
457
00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:55,040
I mean, I didn't mind
when your dick was on the line.
458
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:57,080
But you're just taking the piss now.
459
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,440
I know, but, fuck,
I need a favour.
460
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:04,120
Come on!
461
00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:06,440
Now, be careful!
Don't rip the wallpaper!
462
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:08,360
Are you fucking serious?
463
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:11,520
Did you wipe your feet coming in?
Your carpets are so fucked up, dude.
464
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:13,240
That's vintage, that carpet.
465
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:16,040
And don't scratch the paintwork.
Don't scratch the edge, dude.
466
00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:17,880
Where are we putting it?
In the guest room.
467
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:20,720
What fucking guests do you have?
Hey, I have guests!
468
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:23,000
Like who?
Like fucking...
469
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:24,440
..people of note!
470
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:26,440
People you wouldn't even
never have heard of!
471
00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:28,560
Honestly, four months
I've been in that weed shed,
472
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:30,920
you've had a fucking guest room
this entire time!
473
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:33,000
Stop fucking moaning.
Unbelievable.
474
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,400
Fucking...
Jesus Christ!
475
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:39,240
What?
It's a bit patriotic, isn't it?
476
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:40,720
All my own work.
477
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:43,560
Oh, I got someone in for that.
478
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:45,640
An Englishman's home is his castle.
479
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,440
Sing the national anthem
and I'll let you stay the night.
480
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:51,000
Christ...
481
00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:54,080
It's like AirBNP.
482
00:21:58,120 --> 00:21:59,480
Knobhead...
483
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:11,960
Oh!
BOTH LAUGH
484
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:24,720
I hope she isn't pretty.
485
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,000
Why?
Because.
486
00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:28,600
For you.
487
00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:31,320
What's better, he's going out
with an absolute minger?
488
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:34,400
SHE SIGHS
489
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:35,920
Hiya...
Hi.
490
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:40,320
Pretend not to look,
but I think I'm being followed.
491
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:42,560
Followed?
492
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:46,560
By your ex?
Or...
493
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,440
..by secret police?
494
00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:50,480
Er...by stalkers.
495
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:52,040
Stalkers?
Mmm.
496
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:58,280
Oh, no...
497
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:00,080
They're kissing.
Oh, great...!
498
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,040
It wasn't passionate.
499
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:05,400
Well, have they stopped?
500
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:08,120
Hang on...
501
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:11,960
No.
Still going.
502
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:15,760
SHE GIGGLES
503
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:17,360
Er, I think...
504
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:20,240
I think you've made your point.
505
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:21,360
I haven't.
506
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,840
Now?
Still going.
507
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:27,000
Still...
508
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:29,680
Oh, she is pretty...
509
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:30,880
Wait...
510
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:32,240
Oh, no. Still.
511
00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:35,120
They've stopped.
512
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:38,960
THEY GIGGLE
513
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:40,400
Jesus...
514
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,240
Oh, do you think they saw us?
How should I know?!
515
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:44,600
SHE LAUGHS
516
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:46,840
This is fucking crazy!
What am I doing?
517
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:48,520
He doesn't want her.
518
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:50,360
He's just trying
to make you jealous.
519
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:53,240
Sugar, I got rid of his kid.
I broke his heart, right?
520
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:56,960
We're done.
I need to get on with my life.
521
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,280
Come on.
522
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:00,360
SHEEP BLEAT IN DISTANCE
523
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,760
FRANTIC KNOCKING ON DOOR
524
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:08,600
What?!
525
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:13,600
Where's Vinnie?
He's in bed.
526
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:15,880
Why?
He's wanted.
527
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:18,320
So, go and get him out of your bed
and into my car.
528
00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:19,360
He's not in my bed!
529
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:23,440
Do I look like
I sleep with younger men?
530
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:24,880
Do I?
531
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:28,320
Do I look like
some kind of fucking perv?!
532
00:24:30,120 --> 00:24:31,920
Just fucking get him.
533
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:34,360
Inside.
534
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:35,920
Now.
535
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:41,640
Call me suspicious, Vin,
536
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:45,440
but the very night you bring round
some rare drawers to my house,
537
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:47,360
this happens...
Yeah, fuck, it's connected.
538
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,760
These are the dickheads
we robbed them off. This is my home!
539
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:51,720
I know...
I'm really sorry.
540
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:53,840
Did they break in?
No, there's too much security.
541
00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:55,760
And this clown
fell over a chiminea.
542
00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:58,120
Woke up my wife.
They legged it.
543
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:01,520
I was just trying to do
a good thing, I...
544
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:04,080
Can I fix it?
How?
545
00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:05,640
Fuck, I don't know...
546
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:09,520
I just can't fathom how they...
547
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:13,480
The jacket!
548
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:18,600
Look...
549
00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:21,640
Fucking phone...
I dumped this in here last night.
550
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:24,280
They found it and assumed the
fucking drawers were in your house.
551
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:27,760
I'll fix it.
I'm sorry.
552
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:29,000
Hang on, stop...
553
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:32,920
Why would they go to all
this trouble for a set of drawers?
554
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:39,280
Why don't we ring 'em up,
tell 'em we've got their drawers,
555
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:41,040
tell them we want five hundred quid?
556
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:43,760
Then, when they come, we jump them,
find out who they are.
557
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:46,520
What if they're armed? Armed?
What is it with you and armed?
558
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:48,720
This bleeding thing
has a passcode on it.
559
00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:51,240
Statistically, you're four times
more likely to get stabbed
560
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:53,880
than get cystitis.
Where the fuck's that, Los Cabos?
561
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:55,480
The UK, man.
I'm telling you.
562
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:58,160
Yeah, statistically,
that sounds like total nonsense.
563
00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:00,840
Why don't we just leave the phone on
at a new location
564
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:02,280
and see if they come again.
565
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:03,920
Where are the drawers now?
Jim's farm.
566
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:05,720
Right, so, we go there and we wait.
567
00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:08,320
If they see their van there,
they'll think they're in business.
568
00:26:08,360 --> 00:26:09,720
It's perfect.
All right, lads?
569
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:12,480
ALL GASP AND LAUGH
570
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:14,600
Oh, it's fucking getting worse.
571
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,680
She even did a makeover on Nigel,
look...
572
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:20,480
He smells like lavender, dude.
573
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:23,000
This is exactly why
I don't get into relationships.
574
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:24,680
What, in case you get
heavily made over?
575
00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:26,720
They always try and change you,
don't they?
576
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:29,440
I say to women now, "This is
who I am. Take it or leave it."
577
00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:32,560
And that doesn't put them off, no?
It does, yeah...
578
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:35,960
How do you fancy a night‐long
stakeout in a shitty pig shed?
579
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:39,040
Can we have coffee and doughnuts?
You can have as many as you want.
580
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:41,600
And no wheatgrass.
There will be no wheatgrass.
581
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:43,520
Yes!
No more wheatgrass!
582
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:47,560
PIGS SNORT AND GRUNT
583
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:50,880
All right...
584
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:55,080
I spy with my little eye
something beginning with...
585
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:58,160
..P.
Pig.
586
00:26:58,200 --> 00:26:59,800
Why would it be...?
We've had pig twice.
587
00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:02,040
Piss‐take, lads.
We have to sit in this cold barn
588
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:04,520
when there's a lovely warm farmhouse
round the corner.
589
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:06,200
Swill?
That's a fucking S!
590
00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:08,200
Pigswill?
No!
591
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:10,280
Pricks!
I didn't know you were playing.
592
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:13,080
LAUGHTER
Who last used my indoor bog?
593
00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:15,360
Why?
I'll tell you why.
594
00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:17,720
Cos someone's left an unsinkable.
595
00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:20,360
CHUCKLING
I'm not having it, Vin!
596
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:23,320
It's just sitting there, rent‐free,
like it fucking lives there!
597
00:27:23,360 --> 00:27:27,160
All right, just pump the handle.
I've pumped the fucking handle!
598
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:30,120
Who's the perpetrator?
GIGGLING
599
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:32,240
Oh, like that, is it?
600
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:34,360
Right, well, fine.
I've got all night.
601
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:36,200
But I'll tell you this...
602
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:39,320
No‐one leaves this room
until the culprit's found!
603
00:27:39,360 --> 00:27:40,640
Ooph!
604
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:42,440
Intense...
605
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:43,520
Mm‐hm.
606
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:46,600
I thought it was gone.
LAUGHTER
607
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:48,120
Well, it fucking hasn't!
608
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:50,640
What've you been eating?
Mainly protein.
609
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:54,080
Get back in there!
Knife and fork! Deal with it!
610
00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:56,720
ALL LAUGH
611
00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:58,520
Hey, Ashley, chop, chop.
612
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:01,200
LAUGHTER
613
00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:05,640
Oi, lads...
Lads, there's someone round there.
614
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:06,680
Oh...
615
00:28:20,120 --> 00:28:21,400
You, you bastard!
616
00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:23,040
GRUNTING AND GROANING
Stay calm!
617
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:24,240
Stay calm!
618
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:26,080
Don't panic!
Stop fighting! Stop it!
619
00:28:26,120 --> 00:28:27,880
Just settle down.
We're not gonna hurt you.
620
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,120
We're just gonna ask you
some questions, all right?
621
00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:34,200
Evening.
What the fuck are you doing here?!
622
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:37,000
Trying to find my post rammer!
I know you've had it off me!
623
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:40,320
Have I balls!
Stainless steel, solid metal cap.
624
00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:42,320
I saw him admiring it.
625
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:43,960
He's talking crap!
626
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,800
Post rammer?
I'll ram you! What?
627
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:48,120
What?
628
00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:50,800
With my fist!
Oh...
629
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,360
Fucking hell...
What you all doing, anyway,
630
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:56,720
sneaking around in the dark,
sticking bags on heads?
631
00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:58,400
Cos we're expecting visitors.
Thieves.
632
00:28:58,440 --> 00:28:59,640
Thieves?
Yeah.
633
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:02,760
Told you they were coming, did they?
In a manner of speaking, they did.
634
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:06,080
I just passed a bunch of posh blokes
with their car stuck in a ditch,
635
00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:08,920
but they didn't look like thieves.
Where were this?
636
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:10,560
Down the lane.
Posh cursing, they were.
637
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:12,120
Looked like they needed
a nice rioja.
638
00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:13,800
Hey!
639
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:22,960
Need any help, fellas?
We're fine, thank you.
640
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:24,760
Oh, no, no, no.
641
00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:26,320
We insist.
642
00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:28,040
We?
643
00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:29,400
Shit! Run!
644
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:36,160
No way...
645
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:37,720
Mr Bates!
646
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:39,400
Vinnie!
647
00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:42,000
Vincent O'Neill.
You taught me History.
648
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:44,240
He taught me History, this geezer.
Vincent!
649
00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:46,960
How's it going?
Yeah, I'm doing all right.
650
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,960
How's your dad?
He's fucked.
651
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:50,600
He's still an alcoholic, isn't he?
652
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:52,560
How are you doing?
Are you still teaching?
653
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:55,200
Early retirement.
Yeah?
654
00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:57,600
I assume you've all come
for the erotic drawers, have you?
655
00:29:57,640 --> 00:29:58,880
Why do you want 'em?
656
00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:03,040
Well, they're just very appealing,
aren't they? Yeah...
657
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:05,200
We're enthusiasts.
Aren't we, chaps?
658
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:06,520
Sounds like bollocks.
659
00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:09,200
In school, we're always taught
not to lie, aren't we?
660
00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:11,920
You did, though. Often.
Oi, that's not the point...
661
00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:15,000
We want the truth. We can either
do it the easy way or the hard way.
662
00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:17,200
So, why do you want
the erotic drawers?
663
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:20,320
It's your time you're wasting.
664
00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:23,640
All right, fuck it.
Torture 'em.
665
00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:26,600
Everyone grab someone beige.
Wait! No, no! Get off!
666
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:29,520
Fill that bucket and flick his ears.
667
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:33,400
Ow! Never mind "ow".
I'm gonna go and get my cane.
668
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:36,200
I swear to God, I'm not gonna stop
till someone cracks here.
669
00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:39,200
You're in Guantanamo now, lads.
Don't make me start on your feet.
670
00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:41,600
That house you tried to rob
belongs to Terence McCann,
671
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:44,040
and if you don't know who that is,
let me tell you,
672
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:45,600
you don't want him in your life.
673
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:48,880
You've done well for yourself,
Vinnie. Thief, hostage‐taker.
674
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:51,400
Maybe if you'd made your lessons
a bit more interesting,
675
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:53,040
I'd have paid more attention.
676
00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:55,440
Do you know what we used to call you
in school? Master Bater.
677
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:57,680
Smelly‐Belly Dog Breath.
Fuck Face.
678
00:30:57,720 --> 00:30:58,880
The Drone.
679
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:01,280
Because of the droney way
you'd harp on, man.
680
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:04,600
Well, Carl Slater liked my lessons,
and he's done very well for himself.
681
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:07,480
Carl Slater bums dog, don't he?
I tell you what,
682
00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:09,880
bell him up and tell him
you've been nicking antiques.
683
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:12,120
Let's see how much
he wants to be your pal then.
684
00:31:12,160 --> 00:31:13,800
You becoming a thief...
685
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:16,360
Honestly, it might be the most
interesting thing you've done.
686
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:18,840
You're middle‐aged men.
You should be home,
687
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:21,840
drinking real ale, discussing cruise
holidays. I don't know what you do.
688
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,320
There's a reason
you've all gone to these lengths.
689
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:26,200
And I wanna know why.
690
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:30,360
Take their shoes off.
No, no, no, no! OK, OK, OK! OK!
691
00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:36,160
We're a secret history group.
692
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:38,800
We're all of us experts
in different fields.
693
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:42,400
And we go deep
into historical research.
694
00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:45,640
We've discovered
a little‐known secret
695
00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:47,640
about the drawers
that are in your possession.
696
00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:50,080
It could be apocryphal...
What does that mean?
697
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:51,560
Made‐up.
698
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:55,720
The story goes that the maker
of the furniture, Emmanuel Dasigie,
699
00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:58,440
was so fearful
his work would be seized,
700
00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:02,000
that he hid
some of his more extreme creations.
701
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:06,000
The story goes that,
before his death, he drew a map.
702
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:10,520
Concealed it inside
a piece of furniture in his house.
703
00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:14,360
We believe
it's inside those drawers.
704
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:17,200
Are you for real?
A treasure map. That's unbelievable.
705
00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:20,520
The craziest thing I've ever heard.
It's fairy‐tale stuff.
706
00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:24,880
So, you stole the drawers
to try and find the map.
707
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:28,520
Untie him.
708
00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:29,880
Just him.
709
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:31,440
Oi!
710
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:32,840
Feet!
711
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:35,400
Fuck sake, dude.
712
00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:38,040
You've been told a load of crap.
There's no fucking map here, man.
713
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:39,760
It must be!
It has to be!
714
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:41,440
All our evidence suggests...
715
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,760
Try those legs!
I've tried the legs!
716
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:45,840
Well, twist them! Press them!
I've tried!
717
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:48,600
It's concealed! It has to be
here somewhere! No! There's nothing!
718
00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:51,920
It looks like your story
was apocalyptic after all.
719
00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:57,680
Hey, hang about.
That line, you see it?
720
00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:00,160
It's not the same colour
as the rest of the wood.
721
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:02,680
That's not a flush join.
722
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:04,640
He's right...
723
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:06,560
What about...?
724
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:09,320
We'll give it a little...
725
00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:12,840
LOCK CLICKS
Oh...
726
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:16,760
Oh, fuck, no way..!
727
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:18,680
LAUGHTER
No fucking way, man.
728
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:22,680
Call me a genius.
729
00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:26,400
I might be a simple farmer,
but I'm an Englishman...
730
00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:28,960
All right.
..with an Englishman's heart.
731
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,440
Jim, Jim, Jim!
Shut the fuck up!
732
00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:37,880
That's the fucking map!
CHEERING
733
00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:39,840
No, no, no, no, no...
734
00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:43,240
This is our plan,
and you boys just stumbled upon it.
735
00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:45,120
Yeah, well, that might be the case,
736
00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:47,720
but we're professional
thieves...ish.
737
00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:50,240
You know,
and you lot are fucking useless.
738
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:53,320
Hardly!
We got the drawers, didn't we?
739
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:56,560
Yeah. Yeah, you did.
And then we nicked 'em off you.
740
00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:59,280
And you knocked over a fucking
chimnear, robbing the wrong...
741
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:01,840
Chiminea. Chim‐in‐ea,
robbing the wrong house.
742
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:04,520
And then you got
your fucking car stuck in a ditch.
743
00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:07,160
He's got a point.
And if you rob that stately home,
744
00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:09,640
you're all gonna get caught
and no‐one's finding shit.
745
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:11,200
So, here's what I propose...
746
00:34:11,240 --> 00:34:14,120
Now, I'd say nine out of ten
of our jobs go...
747
00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:15,400
It's seven, if you're lucky.
748
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:19,960
Seven out of ten of our jobs...
Six‐and‐a‐half, innit, really?
749
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:22,960
Well...six.
750
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:25,360
Six out of ten of our jobs
go relatively well.
751
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:27,480
And up till now, none of yours have.
752
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:29,120
All right?
So, you either say yeah,
753
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:31,440
and potentially come away
with a bit of loot here,
754
00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:33,840
or you say no, I tell
Terence McCann all your names,
755
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:36,920
we let the fucking cards fall
where they may. What are you saying?
756
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:39,880
OK.
757
00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:41,560
But we come with you on the job.
758
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:44,040
This is our adventure,
and we want to be there.
759
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:45,160
Absolutely not.
760
00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:47,360
You've got more chance of seeing
a one legged‐dog
761
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:49,520
shitting on a frozen pond.
That's fucking final.
762
00:34:53,240 --> 00:34:55,640
This is fun!
Thanks for letting us come!
763
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:57,240
Shh! Lads! Lads!
764
00:34:57,280 --> 00:35:00,360
Just shut the fuck up!
We're on a fucking robbery!
765
00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:18,880
All right, listen...
766
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:21,320
Positions.
767
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:24,320
You two, take the right.
You two are gonna take the left.
768
00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:27,080
You keep dog‐eye
while we do the cutting, all right?
769
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:29,360
If you see anyone, walkie‐talkies.
Go on.
770
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:34,240
Check this out.
A couple of bloody pros here.
771
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:36,120
We're gonna be in here
in five minutes.
772
00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:39,640
The last one.
773
00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:46,240
Do you see what I mean?
Do you see what I...?
774
00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:48,200
SIRENS BLARE
Oh, shit!
775
00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:57,320
SIRENS CONTINUE TO WAIL
776
00:36:00,240 --> 00:36:03,800
Move it! Hurry the fuck up, dude!
It's my knees.
777
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:05,440
Urgh!
778
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:10,440
Well, that's it. We've blown it.
We need to get out of here.
779
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:13,600
Honestly,
that's an amateur response.
780
00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:16,800
What we're gonna do is
we're gonna stay here, all right?
781
00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:18,600
Right here, quiet.
782
00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:20,520
What?
Christ...
783
00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:23,120
I said,
"We're gonna stay here, quiet."
784
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:24,800
Ah...
Cos pound to a penny,
785
00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:27,280
no fucker comes out tonight
to reset that system.
786
00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:34,560
SIRENS BLARE
787
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:43,840
I had a thought earlier.
Yeah?
788
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:48,080
We could have just come
during visiting hours.
789
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:49,720
You what?
790
00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:52,720
I mean, we didn't need to break in,
did we?
791
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:56,440
We could have just paid
and walked in as tourists.
792
00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:58,360
That's a much better idea.
793
00:36:58,400 --> 00:36:59,880
FOOTSTEPS CRUNCH ON GRAVEL
794
00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:03,680
GUARD FARTS
795
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:08,000
Sandman, come in Sandman.
This is Beaver Three.
796
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:10,520
OVER RADIO:
Any sign of intruders, Beaver Three?
797
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:12,040
Negative. Over.
798
00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:14,960
Has the site been penetrated,
Beaver Three?
799
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:18,000
Negative, Sandman.
No sign of penetration.
800
00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:20,960
Then I suggest we leave this
to the morning shift.
801
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:23,680
Affirmative, Sandman.
Over.
802
00:37:23,720 --> 00:37:25,240
GUARD FARTS
803
00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:26,520
Oh...
804
00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:28,880
GLASS SHATTERS
805
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:55,440
Do you know, this...
Yeah?
806
00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:58,160
This is like a proper...
807
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:00,200
Like, Indiana Jones...
808
00:38:00,240 --> 00:38:01,920
ORNAMENT SHATTERS
809
00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:04,120
Shit.
810
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:12,080
You've fucking broke that now,
ain't you, you bellend?
811
00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:13,480
S‐S‐Sorry...
812
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:16,080
I can only take you somewhere
twice. And once is to apologise.
813
00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:17,360
Now, get the fuck down there.
814
00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:29,560
Right, according to the map,
815
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:32,000
the secret door's
somewhere across that wall there.
816
00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:34,640
And the mechanism for said door...
817
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:37,360
..is up there.
818
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:41,200
Right, who fancies lifting me up?
Not you. Right, go on.
819
00:38:41,240 --> 00:38:43,400
Oh, oh...
GROANING AND GRUNTING
820
00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:45,440
Fucking hell...
821
00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:48,040
It's stuck.
Try again.
822
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:50,880
Do you think?
823
00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:53,800
Cos I was just gonna fuck it off
after all this trouble and go home.
824
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:55,800
Lemon.
Christ, you've a bony arse.
825
00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:58,240
I told him that last week.
Why were you feeling his arse?
826
00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:00,120
You're killing my shoulders, Vin.
827
00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:03,360
Well, know what, your big fat head's
mashing my balls to smithereens.
828
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:05,480
We've all got our fucking crosses
to bear.
829
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:06,880
Got it.
830
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:08,480
Oh...
CREAKING
831
00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:10,880
It's open!
Y‐Y‐You've done it.
832
00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:12,200
Put me down, Ash.
833
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:15,280
Mr Bates, get the fuck out of way.
834
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:17,000
Let's all queue up,
like we did at school.
835
00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:22,640
Come on, lads...
836
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:26,640
This is doing nothing
for my claustrophobia.
837
00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:36,520
It's like a Berlin sex party.
There's something ahead!
838
00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:40,200
An opening!
Like I say...
839
00:39:40,240 --> 00:39:41,800
It's here!
840
00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:43,320
It's bloody here!
841
00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:44,840
The secret room!
842
00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:46,440
We've found it!
843
00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:47,800
Holy shit...
844
00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:51,760
Oh, fuck...
845
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:54,400
It's a cleaning rota.
846
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:57,000
No‐one's been here
since 197‐fucking‐5.
847
00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:59,840
Fucking coffee cups and shit,
like a bed down there.
848
00:39:59,880 --> 00:40:02,440
This is where the staff came
to skive off, this.
849
00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:03,800
But it can't be!
850
00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:08,040
All our research suggests this is
Emmanuel's secret storage space.
851
00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:10,200
All your research, eh?
852
00:40:10,240 --> 00:40:12,600
I'm sure Emanuel
is up in heaven right now,
853
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:14,360
laughing himself silly over this,
854
00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:16,280
sat in a massive cock‐shaped harp.
855
00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:18,040
HE SIGHS
Fuck!
856
00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:19,840
Fuck it...
857
00:40:19,880 --> 00:40:21,680
Let's smoke a spliff.
858
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:25,520
Cheers, lads.
Nice one.
859
00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:26,680
Have a good night.
860
00:40:28,720 --> 00:40:30,880
Arr‐on.
I mean, Aaron...
861
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:32,840
What you doing here?
Is this...?
862
00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:34,640
I thought you worked in a wine bar.
863
00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:36,440
BOTH LAUGH
864
00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:38,240
The chances of this...
Mmm.
865
00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:40,640
Incredible coincidence.
866
00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:42,880
How about I buy you a drink?
I've got to go home.
867
00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:45,080
Oh, hang on...
We got off to a bad start.
868
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:47,360
I apologise.
Let me buy you a drink.
869
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:50,080
No, thanks. I'm good.
Your choice.
870
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:53,360
But if you're gonna be serious
with my brother,
871
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:55,360
we need to at least...get on.
872
00:40:57,800 --> 00:40:59,360
How much is entry?
Ten.
873
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:02,640
A tenner it is.
874
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:06,920
Thank you.
875
00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:10,240
I hope they look like you in there.
876
00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:11,440
HE SNIGGERS
877
00:41:14,240 --> 00:41:15,560
Fuck it...
878
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:21,760
LINE RINGS
879
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:24,560
Hey...
Hi.
880
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:25,600
Erm...
881
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:29,000
It's over.
What?
882
00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:30,240
Me and you, Jake.
It's over.
883
00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:32,360
OK, I'm sorry. It's just...
It's not right.
884
00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:33,760
We're done.
Erin, I...
885
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:36,720
No, Jake. Jake, you know it
yourself, all right? It's...
886
00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:39,880
I'm sorry.
887
00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:41,320
It's over.
888
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:43,600
Erin, please...
889
00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:10,240
Right...
Go on, sod off, then.
890
00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:12,160
I need my bed.
It was fun, that.
891
00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:13,800
Mmm...
An adventure.
892
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:18,280
It's what we do, innit?
Adventures.
893
00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:21,600
It's an important lesson that,
though.
894
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:24,240
You can't always come away
with gold, can you?
895
00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:25,280
No.
896
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:27,360
But...
897
00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:29,560
..sometimes...
898
00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:32,440
..you can find...
899
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:35,320
..silver.
900
00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:37,080
Where did you find that?
901
00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:38,920
I found it in the, er...
902
00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:41,000
..s‐s‐secret room.
903
00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:42,920
You know,
when we were having a spliff.
904
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:45,800
INDISTINCT CHATTER AND LAUGHTER
905
00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:47,600
No way...
906
00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:49,720
I didn't want them teachers
to have it.
907
00:42:49,760 --> 00:42:51,800
I wanted to give it to you.
Eh?
908
00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:53,080
No, no, no...
909
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:55,720
I can't take that off you.
That's finders keepers. No, no...
910
00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:57,520
I want you to.
911
00:42:57,560 --> 00:43:00,120
Cos, er, you know...
912
00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:02,920
..you've been sad.
913
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:09,200
I'm really glad, er,
that you're alive again.
914
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:13,280
Me, too.
915
00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:15,520
Love you, mate.
916
00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:23,880
I love you, dude.
I love you, too, man.
917
00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:25,880
Look after yourself, yeah?
All right...
918
00:43:28,120 --> 00:43:29,600
Go on, sod off.
919
00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:35,760
HE STARTS TO SOB
920
00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:49,960
Right, fuck it,
just get your shit together.
921
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:52,320
Get your shit together,
we'll get out the fuck out of here.
922
00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:54,760
Cardi, come on, I'll buy you
a kebab on the way home.
923
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:56,120
all right.
924
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:05,400
I got so much trouble in my mind
925
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:09,520
I got so much trouble in my mind
926
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:13,680
I got so much trouble in my mind
927
00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:17,880
I got so much trouble in my mind
928
00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:22,120
Give me the strength to carry on
929
00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:26,200
Give me the strength
To carry on...
930
00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:29,840
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