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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:21,516 Nice! 2 00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:42,713 I love this belt. 3 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,260 Only 30 minutes more TV. Okay, hon? 4 00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:02,809 This lamp. Sweet. Oh. 5 00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:08,316 Donnie's gonna be here any minute. 6 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:11,282 Yeah. Whoa. 7 00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:50,740 Welcome home, Sean Floyd. 8 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,565 All right, Donnie's here. See you guys tomorrow. 9 00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:56,657 All right, honey. 10 00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:58,411 - Have fun camping, kiddo. - Bye! 11 00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:02,411 Oh, yeah. Ah, Ooh. 12 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:04,077 Oh, my God. 13 00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:05,375 Ooh. 14 00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:06,458 Holy shit. 15 00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:08,001 - What is this? - I don't know! 16 00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:10,166 - Oh, my God. - Work! 17 00:02:10,713 --> 00:02:13,473 - Just walk over, hit the button on the TV. - What are they doing? 18 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,050 Okay, I'll see you guys later. 19 00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:17,640 What are you doing? 20 00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:20,223 Dude, what are you doing? Are you serious? 21 00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:24,096 Sean Floyd, back on American soil for one week only! 22 00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:26,466 Dude, turn that off. My little brother is crying in there. 23 00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:28,233 That's crazy porn. 24 00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:29,404 She's a big girl. 25 00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:31,438 What are you wearing? 26 00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:34,067 They're my hiking shorts. 27 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,354 Why do those cover your belly button but not your balls? 28 00:02:36,614 --> 00:02:39,014 What's that on your face? You spilled something on your face. 29 00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:42,327 It looks like you drank a glass of Ed Sheeran's pubes. 30 00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:45,212 In fact, the '80s nostalgia wave we're living in, it's about to crest. 31 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,460 When it does, I'm gonna be swimming in puss. Know why? 32 00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:49,172 Are you growing a Narcos coke 'stache? 33 00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:51,252 I am growing a Narcos coke 'stache, my friend. 34 00:02:51,337 --> 00:02:54,098 - You're growing a coke 'stache. - Mm-hmm. Donnie Escobar, right here. 35 00:02:54,757 --> 00:02:55,757 - Wow. - That's right. 36 00:02:57,093 --> 00:02:58,303 How you doing, pal? 37 00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:00,386 - I'm good. How are you? - Glad to have you back. 38 00:03:00,471 --> 00:03:02,601 Ah, it's good to be back and... 39 00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:04,306 Oh, we're hugging. 40 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,204 Oh, hey, dudes. 41 00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:17,108 'Sup, Virgin Megastore? 42 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,367 - Excuse me? - Oh, shit. 43 00:03:20,491 --> 00:03:21,701 - Hey, Mrs. Abelar. - Hey. 44 00:03:21,784 --> 00:03:22,784 Hi. 45 00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:26,038 Jeremy, what are you doing over there? 46 00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:28,252 Jeremy! 47 00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:31,213 I can see you are jerking off the walking stick! 48 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:32,554 Mom, I'm packing. 49 00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:36,012 Your dad and I are leaving in an hour, and I want you out of here ASAP. 50 00:03:36,090 --> 00:03:37,220 Okay, I'm going! 51 00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:39,342 Oh, God, I so need this vacation. 52 00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:41,887 Six hours, I'll be in Napa with a Zinfandel. 53 00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:43,391 Bye, Mrs. Abelar. 54 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:44,813 Look who the fuck is back. 55 00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:47,191 - What's up, man? - What's up, man? 56 00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:51,268 - Yo, you dogs ready to get... - ...fucked up? 57 00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:52,516 - Oh, yeah. - Show him the ID. 58 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,776 It's a military ID. 59 00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:56,609 1991, dude. 60 00:03:56,694 --> 00:03:59,244 - What? You buy stuff with this? - Fuck yeah, he does. 61 00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:01,492 Jack Jessop reporting for booze. 62 00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:02,828 You don't look like this guy. 63 00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:04,484 This guy looks like a soldier. 64 00:04:04,535 --> 00:04:06,222 You look like Pocahontas. 65 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,496 - No one says shit to an Army ranger. - All right. 66 00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:11,421 I found this outside the booth at the gun and knife show 67 00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:14,588 when I was picking up this bad boy. Check it out. Check it out. 68 00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:15,594 Huh? 69 00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:16,762 - Whoa. - Oh, shit. 70 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:17,839 Hoo-rah! 71 00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:19,360 - Pretty tight, huh? - Yeah, it's cool. 72 00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:22,514 This is in case we run into any crazy shit out in the woods. 73 00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:25,465 - Like, fucking crazy shit! Shit. Fuck! - Whoa, man! 74 00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:27,356 - I'm... Sorry, dude. - Come on, man. 75 00:04:27,725 --> 00:04:31,015 I try to act like I'm riding a bike, but I still got the training wheels on. 76 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,404 - You feel me? - Yeah. 77 00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:34,444 - Let's pack up the van. - Let's do it! 78 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:38,574 - Yeah, let's just get out of here. - Let's pack it up. Hit the road. 79 00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:40,427 Why are there so many bags? 80 00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:41,648 - What is all this shit? - Oh! 81 00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:47,083 Uh... Yeah, there's a slight change of plans, dude. 82 00:04:47,161 --> 00:04:50,331 It sucks total donkey dick. 83 00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:52,825 - Stop going through my shit, perv. - Sarah? 84 00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:55,340 No. No. No! 85 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,460 No, no. No way. No, no, no. 86 00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,837 - For real? - Why does this feel so awkward? 87 00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:01,968 Jeremy, did you not tell them that we were coming? 88 00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:05,805 I was... I'm telling them now. Like, they're learning of it right now. 89 00:05:05,888 --> 00:05:07,928 - Are you kidding? - They're coming. 90 00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:10,021 Welcome back, Sean. 91 00:05:10,601 --> 00:05:11,891 Hey! Hey, what's up? 92 00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:15,666 - Do you not hug people anymore? - Oh, yeah, sorry. 93 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,370 - They don't hug in Germany? - Yeah. 94 00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:19,942 Welcome back. I mean, I'm back. You're not back. 95 00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:22,358 I'm just back for the next week. Hey, Sarah, what's up? 96 00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:23,527 Were you really in Germany? 97 00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:26,494 There was a rumor you were in rehab for bath salts. 98 00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:28,576 - Everyone's talking about it. - What? No. 99 00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:30,581 Nein! Nein! I was in Germany. Yeah. 100 00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:32,497 Cool hiking gear. 101 00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:34,212 Hmm? Oh. What? 102 00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,422 - How'd that get tucked in? - Stop! 103 00:05:36,544 --> 00:05:38,214 - You're ruining my bra! - I don't care. 104 00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:40,546 This shit's expensive. Stop! 105 00:05:40,631 --> 00:05:43,011 Jeremy said we're going six miles into the woods. 106 00:05:43,092 --> 00:05:43,932 Yeah! 107 00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:45,602 Yeah. I'm glad you're coming, though. 108 00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:47,518 It's gonna be worth it when you see me twerking 109 00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:49,175 with Mother Nature. 110 00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:52,185 Are you gonna be twerking against a tree or... 111 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,352 - How does that work? - I don't know. 112 00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:57,095 Excuse me! 113 00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:59,322 This is supposed to be a bros trip. 114 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:02,280 So I need a group meeting. Now! Sean! 115 00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:05,065 - Sounds mad. Yeah. - I gotta go. Um... 116 00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:07,074 Bye. 117 00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:10,874 Hey, did you guys know that people think I've been in rehab? 118 00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:11,833 - Yeah. - Yeah. 119 00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:15,043 Yeah, it's some bullshit rumor, dude. Forget about it. 120 00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:17,634 Look, I'm feeling fucking betrayed with you, J-Tron. 121 00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,229 Chad and my sister broke up yesterday, 122 00:06:19,253 --> 00:06:21,133 so she bailed on Cancun with his family. 123 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,304 - That's fine. - Oh, what? They broke up? 124 00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:27,637 - That sucks. - Yeah, she found out he cheated on her... 125 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:29,720 I don't care what happened. 126 00:06:30,014 --> 00:06:32,684 I'm not going camping with my ex this weekend. 127 00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:35,057 Wait, I thought you guys were never "official." 128 00:06:35,144 --> 00:06:37,304 Yeah, that's one of our many disputes. Thank you, Sean. 129 00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:41,403 Spring break. Indigonanza... 130 00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:45,031 - is about bros. Bonding. - Uh-huh. 131 00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:46,493 Ceremoniously drinking 132 00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:49,952 a bottle of Indigo Caribbean Spiced Rum in 48 hours. 133 00:06:51,285 --> 00:06:53,245 - That's the tradition. - This is true. 134 00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:56,539 Plus, we only have Sean for one week before he goes back to dipping his balls 135 00:06:56,624 --> 00:06:58,424 in sauerkraut for the rest of the school year. 136 00:06:58,459 --> 00:06:59,879 That's not something we do. 137 00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:02,211 All right. This is shitty for me too, okay? 138 00:07:02,296 --> 00:07:04,086 My girlfriend freaked out when she found out 139 00:07:04,173 --> 00:07:06,223 ladies were coming and I didn't invite her. 140 00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:09,100 How many times do I have to tell you? You're being catfished. 141 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,723 Her name is Kendall Jenners. 142 00:07:13,349 --> 00:07:14,519 With an S. 143 00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:16,975 - Not real. - That's her name, okay? 144 00:07:17,353 --> 00:07:18,653 She's real, all right? 145 00:07:18,729 --> 00:07:22,319 We're gonna meet this summer at theater camp and we're gonna have sex. 146 00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:25,324 Hey, actually, that reminds me, Sean. 147 00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:28,953 This weekend might actually be your chance to bang my sister. 148 00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:31,121 - Whoa, whoa! - What the fuck? 149 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:34,870 She's my twin sister, okay? We have this special connection thing. 150 00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:37,334 If she's having sex, it's like if I'm having sex. 151 00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:40,075 - Dude, that's gro... Don't say that! Now... - Why not? 152 00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:42,748 Why would you not want me to feel sex? Sex is great. 153 00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:43,747 It's your fucking twin. 154 00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:45,198 Don't be disgust... 155 00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:48,586 - Jesus Christ! - Stop pouting in there, cheddar bush. 156 00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:52,756 It's gonna be like this the whole fucking time. 157 00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:54,521 Scared me. 158 00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:56,891 Here we go. 159 00:07:57,518 --> 00:07:59,348 - Bye! - Bye, Mrs. Abelar. 160 00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:02,057 - Bye! - Fuck you, Mrs. Abelar. 161 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,938 Don't say "fuck you" to my mom, man. 162 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:07,895 - We say "fuck you" to Mom all the time. - Well, yeah, but she's, like, our mom. 163 00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:11,784 I just don't think any Abelar woman should be disrespected… 164 00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:13,408 like that. 165 00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:15,699 Yeah. 166 00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:17,618 Ah, they're good kids. 167 00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:20,042 - They're nightmares. - I know, hon. Let's go. 168 00:08:20,124 --> 00:08:22,344 - They're my suicidal nightmares. - I know, I know. 169 00:08:31,135 --> 00:08:35,175 Uh... 170 00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:42,952 Uh, thanks, man. 171 00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:48,394 Hey, um, I'm really sorry about Chad. 172 00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:51,114 Thanks. 173 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:55,236 So, do you guys keep in touch at all? Or... 174 00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:58,333 Oh, well, we broke up 17 hours ago. 175 00:08:58,871 --> 00:08:59,961 So... 176 00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:01,329 I'll keep you posted. 177 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,007 Hey! 178 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,230 Are you going to the Sadie Hawkins dance? 179 00:09:19,308 --> 00:09:20,348 Oh, wow, really? 180 00:09:20,434 --> 00:09:22,694 You know what, Sarah? I'm gonna have to think about it, 181 00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:23,810 but thank you for asking. 182 00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:26,316 Actually, I just wanted to warn whoever you end up going with 183 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:27,729 that you shart during blow jobs. 184 00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:29,777 - That happened one time! - Happened two times. 185 00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:31,992 You said you'd never... 186 00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:35,551 Dog, you sharted mid-beej? 187 00:09:42,164 --> 00:09:44,884 All right. Stay in the van. Be cool. I got this. 188 00:09:45,459 --> 00:09:46,589 Hoo-rah! 189 00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:55,085 What's up? 190 00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,262 You got ID? 191 00:09:58,472 --> 00:09:59,722 Blammo! 192 00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:04,652 Hmm... Ranger, huh? 193 00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:07,191 $47.65. 194 00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:10,479 Military discount. 195 00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:14,358 - Stop. Wipe it on your dirty butt. - No! Not on my... Ah! Not on my butt! 196 00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:15,867 Know what? Just keep the change. 197 00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:19,078 You have a great day. No receipt. Heh. 198 00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:41,556 That's not funny, man. 199 00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:45,233 Yeah, you're great. Yeah, I'm just gonna put it in there. 200 00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:49,271 All right, guys. Let's get these Snow Mates ready for their cover shoot. 201 00:10:58,741 --> 00:10:59,581 Ow. 202 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,489 Here. 203 00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,098 Jeremy, where are you taking us? 204 00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:28,520 We're going deep into Mother Nature's puss... 205 00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:31,651 all the way up past the ovaries. 206 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,108 Whoo! 207 00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:42,027 Kendall gets so wet for this shit. 208 00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:44,746 I'm sure that he does. 209 00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:08,191 Oh, this is it, dogs. 210 00:12:09,353 --> 00:12:10,353 This is base camp. 211 00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:13,188 Fucking finally! Jesus Christ. 212 00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:16,784 Oh, here we go. 213 00:12:17,611 --> 00:12:19,991 Here we go. Oh, what the fuck? 214 00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:29,424 Fuck Chad, right? 215 00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:31,788 Uh, yeah. 216 00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:34,086 High school relationships are bullshit, anyway. 217 00:12:34,378 --> 00:12:36,508 I just feel really embarrassed. 218 00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:37,964 Yeah. 219 00:12:38,799 --> 00:12:40,629 But what if you tried to just... 220 00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:44,178 you know, do something to take your mind off of it a little bit? 221 00:12:47,391 --> 00:12:48,731 You could hook up with Sean. 222 00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:54,020 Come on, it might be fun just to hook up with someone that's nice for a change. 223 00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:58,186 Plus, you've always kind of liked him, and he got kind of hot in Germany. 224 00:13:00,654 --> 00:13:02,114 I wouldn't say "hot." 225 00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:05,525 I feel like he finished going through puberty. 226 00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:11,463 - You're blowing it with Becky. - Man, they just broke up. 227 00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:14,290 This is the Rent cast party all over again. 228 00:13:14,376 --> 00:13:16,956 This is not like the Rent cast party. Okay? It's not like that. 229 00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:18,916 Remember what happened at the Rent cast party? 230 00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:21,676 You sat on the couch sipping your Mike's Hard. 231 00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:23,389 Her hand on your thigh. 232 00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:25,429 You were on the couch and you squeezed his thigh. 233 00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:27,723 Then I asked if he wanted to go smoke on the roof. 234 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,597 Wait, yeah, what did he say again? 235 00:13:29,683 --> 00:13:32,273 I told her that I passed on grass. 236 00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:36,443 Which doesn't make any sense because we smoke literally all the time. 237 00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:38,034 They literally smoke all the time. 238 00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:39,668 And you sat there watching as she left. 239 00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:41,204 I just got up and left. 240 00:13:41,278 --> 00:13:43,948 I told you that I couldn't stand up because... 241 00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:46,911 - Maybe he just had a boner. - I had a boner. 242 00:13:46,992 --> 00:13:48,082 Oh, ew. 243 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,160 Who gets a boner from someone touching their thigh? 244 00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:52,916 You're being cock blocked, literally, by your own cock. 245 00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:54,538 I don't know, man. I can't control it. 246 00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,625 She then goes upstairs, makes out with Chad, 247 00:13:56,710 --> 00:13:59,000 and they've been fucking dating till this moment. 248 00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,088 The Rent cast party? 249 00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:02,422 That was your chance to be with Becky, and you blew it. 250 00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:06,028 - Yeah, Donnie's right. - Thank you. Musical theater's the ultimate aphrodisiac. 251 00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:09,272 That's why me and Kendall are composing an R-rated musical 252 00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:11,228 based on the songs of Britney Spears. 253 00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:14,400 Dude, get this, all right? It's called Blonde to Bald to Back Again. 254 00:14:14,478 --> 00:14:16,938 Shit is gonna be so fucking tight, dude. I can't wait. 255 00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:19,022 I mean, you remember Christmas Eve, right? 256 00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:21,988 When I sang Kendall my "Oops! I Did It Again" solo? 257 00:14:22,069 --> 00:14:25,779 Dude, I had to Urban Dictionary the shit she said she was gonna do to my body. 258 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,275 Oh, dude, I almost forgot. 259 00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:30,238 I got you something, dude. It's for you and Becks. 260 00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:31,867 It glows in the dark and shit. 261 00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,621 What? "The Fuck King Condom"? 262 00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,747 Yeah. King of fucking, dude. 263 00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:41,086 Or you can go raw, dog. I mean, I'm down to be an uncle. 264 00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:43,511 Stop it with the fucking your sister stuff. 265 00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:46,681 As weird as this fucking guy is, he's right about one thing. 266 00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:48,554 Becky's always had a thing for you. 267 00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:50,217 No, that's 100% conjecture. 268 00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:53,231 I don't know. I'm slow-playing it, okay? 269 00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:55,689 You're no-playing it. Be her rebound, okay? 270 00:14:55,769 --> 00:14:58,609 Take off your practice sweats and crash the fucking boards. 271 00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:00,019 - Yeah. - Play dirty. 272 00:15:00,107 --> 00:15:03,147 You think I didn't throw a few 'bows to get where I am with Sarah? 273 00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:05,645 What? Where do you think you are with Sarah? 274 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:06,818 You guys hate each other. 275 00:15:07,656 --> 00:15:08,656 Donnie? 276 00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:12,793 Drink up, bitch. 277 00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:14,410 Oh! 278 00:15:14,496 --> 00:15:15,557 - Snap. - Fuck! 279 00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:16,621 What was that? 280 00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:17,707 Oh! 281 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,340 Why? 282 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,000 Fuck! 283 00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:23,206 Well, nature's great, but it's still spring break. 284 00:15:23,547 --> 00:15:25,257 And I'm ready to rage. 285 00:15:25,674 --> 00:15:26,804 Let the games begin. 286 00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:30,049 Actually, Sarah, this is a bros trip that you're intruding on. 287 00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:31,604 Indigonanza's our thing. 288 00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:34,682 So I'm gonna be the one who officially starts everything off. 289 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:35,597 Okay. 290 00:15:35,684 --> 00:15:37,274 - Let... - Indigonanza begin. 291 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,359 Okay. Let... 292 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,160 - Let Indigonanza begin. - This is my thing. 293 00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:45,437 Guys, it's important to him, so... Let Indigonanza... 294 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:48,947 begin. 295 00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:52,739 I liked it better when she said it. 296 00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:47,014 I mean, look at him. 297 00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:49,049 He's going to town on that trail mix. 298 00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:50,841 Do you still have your bong bear? 299 00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:51,968 Yeah, I do. 300 00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:54,264 Get over there and make a move. 301 00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:56,682 You should fuck my sister. 302 00:16:57,474 --> 00:16:59,995 - I'm gonna piss. - Thanks for letting me know. 303 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,519 - Go get 'em. - Okay. 304 00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:03,443 - Nice ass. - Okay. Fine. 305 00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:06,282 Hey! 306 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:09,279 - Quit hogging that trail mix. - Okay. 307 00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:14,374 - Oh... - Coming in. 308 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:18,000 - Beep, beep, beep. - No, that's enough. Thank you. 309 00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:25,788 Uh, so did you hear about the... the bear thing? 310 00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:28,054 - No. - Yeah. 311 00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:30,220 Here's one right now. Oh! 312 00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:32,089 - Whoa! What? - What? 313 00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:34,176 - It's just a... It's a bong bear. - The bear bong. 314 00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:36,099 Bear bong! 315 00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:41,939 Hey, if you wanted, we could... we could go hot box the tent later. 316 00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:45,516 We could do that. 317 00:17:45,606 --> 00:17:46,856 - I'm free now. - You're free? 318 00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:49,739 Uh, that's kind of perfect, 'cause I'm free. 319 00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:52,278 Yeah, our schedules lined up perfectly. 320 00:17:52,362 --> 00:17:54,072 - Uh, let's go now. - Okay! 321 00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:55,066 - Here we go. - Cool. 322 00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:56,367 Oh, my God. Did you hear that? 323 00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:58,490 Jeremy's talking to himself. We gotta fuck with him. 324 00:17:58,535 --> 00:18:00,405 We gotta go. We gotta go right now. Let's go. 325 00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:02,541 Sorry. 326 00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:03,922 Bye. 327 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:05,501 This knife is so sharp, 328 00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:07,421 it can cut piss. 329 00:18:09,379 --> 00:18:10,379 Oh, what's that? 330 00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:14,051 - Are you pissing on this endangered fern? - What the fuck is he doing? 331 00:18:14,134 --> 00:18:18,064 Oh, shit, it's an anthill. I'd better get 'em. 332 00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:18,968 Let's get him. 333 00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:21,226 - We approach a wild teen. - You're dead! 334 00:18:34,988 --> 00:18:37,658 - Oh, shit. I think I cut myself. - Did you... Did you just... 335 00:18:37,741 --> 00:18:39,241 Oh, no! 336 00:18:39,326 --> 00:18:41,496 Why... why are you looking down there? 337 00:18:41,578 --> 00:18:43,658 Keep your eyes above... No. What are you doing? 338 00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:45,247 That's not okay. That's... 339 00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:56,389 Where'd my dick go? Did you see my dick, Sean? 340 00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:57,388 Sean, you didn't it? 341 00:18:57,469 --> 00:19:00,099 What about you, Donnie? Did you see my dick? 342 00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:02,426 What is... What is happening? 343 00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:05,386 - I just cut off my dick. - Jeremy, is this a fucking prank? 344 00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:07,322 Don't be stupid. Come on, show me your dick. 345 00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:08,806 I cut off my dick, Becky! 346 00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:13,647 I cut my dick off! 347 00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,964 - Oh, my God, it's not a prank. - Help! Help him! 348 00:19:18,031 --> 00:19:19,411 I don't think it'll be okay. 349 00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:21,081 You'll be fine, man. We'll lay you down. 350 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,830 Come on. 351 00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:24,411 Here we go. Put this under his head. 352 00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:27,706 Shit. That's a lot of blood, goddammit! That's a lot of blood. 353 00:19:27,791 --> 00:19:30,631 - I'm gonna fucking die. - Jeremy's gonna die. 354 00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:34,271 We can all stand here and have a meltdown or we can get our shit together and save Jeremy. 355 00:19:35,215 --> 00:19:36,625 Oh, my God, I'm gonna die! 356 00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:39,677 - We need to call 911, now. - Yeah, get our phones. 357 00:19:39,761 --> 00:19:42,681 - Kendall... theater camp. - My phone's in the van. 358 00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:45,765 - Don't die. - Fuck. I don't have any service. Do you? 359 00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:46,995 - I don't. - Fuck. Me neither. 360 00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,872 - I got nothing. - Fuck. You don't have service? 361 00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:50,556 Just... Oh, give me one second to think. 362 00:19:50,647 --> 00:19:53,047 Okay. I'm going to the top of the ridge. Give me your phones. 363 00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:55,148 Okay. One of them has to have service, right? 364 00:19:55,235 --> 00:19:57,605 - What's the passcodes? - 3-5-3-2. 365 00:19:57,696 --> 00:20:00,566 69-69, which is pretty ironic now. 366 00:20:00,657 --> 00:20:03,037 - Mine's 0-0-4-7. - 0-0-4-7. 367 00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:04,888 - Go. - What's your passcode, Donnie? 368 00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:06,662 - All ones, dude. All ones. - Okay. 369 00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:10,827 Guys! Hey, guys, in times like these, we... we gotta... Fucking... 370 00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:12,645 - Just go! - Get out of here! 371 00:20:12,669 --> 00:20:15,089 - Yeah, I'm going! - Oh, my God. Okay, Jeremy. 372 00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:18,970 Someone... Someone needs to find the... penis. 373 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,431 - Get my penis. - Okay. 374 00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:21,930 - Get my penis. - Yeah. 375 00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:23,812 Dude, I'm gonna get your fucking peen. 376 00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:25,569 I'm taking this. I'm getting a flashlight. 377 00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:27,880 - I'm gonna go with Donnie. - Yeah, I'll stay with Jeremy. 378 00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:30,595 - It's gonna be okay, right? All good? - It's gonna be okay. Yeah. 379 00:20:30,687 --> 00:20:32,767 You're gonna get my dick. I'm gonna get my dick back. 380 00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:34,274 Yeah, we're gonna find it. 381 00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:37,818 Just for scale, what am I looking for? Like half this? A... a quarter? 382 00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:40,042 I'm not gonna tell her how big my dick is. 383 00:20:40,113 --> 00:20:42,373 I'm gonna take it as a quarter. 384 00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:44,408 If this doesn't work out, Becky, 385 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,910 - I'm gonna be your sister now. - Okay. 386 00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:48,705 - You already have the hair for it. - Yeah. 387 00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:54,537 Hey! That is a cliff. 388 00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:58,088 All right. Okay. 389 00:20:58,173 --> 00:20:59,803 Nope. All right, come on. 390 00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:02,469 Crap. No, come on! Come on! 391 00:21:02,552 --> 00:21:04,012 Come on! Bars! Bars! We got bars! 392 00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:06,676 We got bars. Oh, baby mama. 393 00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:09,685 All right. I can hear you now. 394 00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:11,652 Fuck yeah. 395 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,070 911, what's your emergency? 396 00:21:15,315 --> 00:21:16,355 Hello! Hello! Hello! 397 00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:20,397 911. I have a medical emergency. I need a medevac pronto. 398 00:21:20,487 --> 00:21:24,777 My friend has lost his penis. He cut it off. I think it was an accident. 399 00:21:24,866 --> 00:21:25,866 Okay. 400 00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:30,251 Okay. Come on. Okay. 401 00:21:30,330 --> 00:21:32,330 Fuck. 402 00:21:32,457 --> 00:21:33,457 Shit! 403 00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:39,920 - If I was a dick, where would I be? - You are a dick. That shouldn't be hard. 404 00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:41,150 Oh, my God. 405 00:21:41,174 --> 00:21:42,193 - What? - Found it! 406 00:21:42,217 --> 00:21:43,217 Where? 407 00:21:43,927 --> 00:21:44,927 Oh. 408 00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:46,604 It's a pine cone. 409 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:47,890 It's gotta be here somewhere. 410 00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:50,023 I mean, how fucking far could this dick fly? 411 00:21:50,475 --> 00:21:52,595 It could be anywhere within a thousand-foot radius. 412 00:21:52,686 --> 00:21:55,516 Okay, sir, I'm triangulating your current location. 413 00:21:55,605 --> 00:21:57,185 Uh... 414 00:21:57,524 --> 00:22:00,574 "Hey, babe, I'm sorry I was an idiot. Where are you?" 415 00:22:01,069 --> 00:22:03,909 "I bailed on Cancun. Are you at your house?" 416 00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:06,119 - Oh, come on. - We're sending a medevac helicopter. 417 00:22:06,199 --> 00:22:07,369 Okay, yes. Thank you. 418 00:22:08,368 --> 00:22:11,458 "I want to make this work. I miss you. You're the shit." 419 00:22:15,083 --> 00:22:16,463 Crash the boards, Sean. 420 00:22:18,378 --> 00:22:20,628 Fuck Chad, man. Fuck you. 421 00:22:22,257 --> 00:22:23,547 You're a... 422 00:22:27,554 --> 00:22:28,554 dirty taint. 423 00:22:29,056 --> 00:22:30,056 Fuck, yeah. 424 00:22:32,309 --> 00:22:33,479 Shit. 425 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:34,560 Send. 426 00:22:37,939 --> 00:22:38,939 Fucking send. 427 00:22:40,108 --> 00:22:42,188 - Send it. Come on. - Did you get a signal? 428 00:22:44,738 --> 00:22:47,028 - Oh! - Sean? 429 00:22:48,658 --> 00:22:50,338 Please tell me that wasn't all the phones. 430 00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:51,369 No, no. 431 00:22:52,496 --> 00:22:55,206 - I mean, yes, it was... - It was. 432 00:22:55,290 --> 00:22:57,750 ...all the phones. But, hey, hey, I called 911. 433 00:22:57,834 --> 00:23:00,384 I talked to them. They're gonna send a medevac in 30 minutes. 434 00:23:00,879 --> 00:23:02,065 - So... So that's good! - Okay. 435 00:23:02,089 --> 00:23:03,419 - Yeah! - Let's go. Let's go. 436 00:23:03,507 --> 00:23:04,717 That's... All right. 437 00:23:06,259 --> 00:23:08,969 Hold on! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Whoa! 438 00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:10,434 It's a fucking mushroom, dude. 439 00:23:10,764 --> 00:23:13,524 - Everything looks like a dick at night! - What is that? 440 00:23:14,059 --> 00:23:14,889 Hmm? 441 00:23:14,976 --> 00:23:17,476 Is that a piece of coyote scat? Are there coyotes here? 442 00:23:19,189 --> 00:23:20,189 That's not shit. 443 00:23:21,316 --> 00:23:22,476 What do you mean? 444 00:23:22,818 --> 00:23:24,188 That's Jeremy's dick. 445 00:23:24,277 --> 00:23:25,277 Oh, my God. 446 00:23:31,618 --> 00:23:32,618 Damn it. 447 00:23:33,036 --> 00:23:35,406 I'm gonna get some sticks to pick that up with. 448 00:23:37,290 --> 00:23:39,040 The medevac's on its way. 449 00:23:39,126 --> 00:23:40,126 We got the dick! 450 00:23:40,210 --> 00:23:41,710 - Yes. - And Sarah puked on it. 451 00:23:41,795 --> 00:23:43,395 - Donnie! - Sean lost the phones. 452 00:23:43,463 --> 00:23:44,343 What? 453 00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:46,553 First my dick, and now my 7, Sean! 454 00:23:48,135 --> 00:23:49,425 Is my pee-pee okay? 455 00:23:49,511 --> 00:23:51,721 - Okay. We gotta keep this warm. - Okay. 456 00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:54,431 Where is it? I wanna see it. Where... 457 00:23:54,516 --> 00:23:55,926 Warm it up, baby. Come on. 458 00:23:56,226 --> 00:23:57,726 - Whoa! - What are you doing? 459 00:23:57,811 --> 00:24:00,271 I'm keeping the capillaries open. Stop yelling at me. 460 00:24:00,355 --> 00:24:01,565 You gotta put that on ice! 461 00:24:01,648 --> 00:24:03,835 I don't know. They don't teach you this in health class. 462 00:24:03,859 --> 00:24:06,299 My dick is on a stick! - Gotta put it on some ice. - Ice, ice! 463 00:24:11,158 --> 00:24:12,158 Ew! 464 00:24:30,719 --> 00:24:32,719 Do you think the helicopter is gonna find us? 465 00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:36,474 I hope so. 466 00:24:37,225 --> 00:24:38,765 Yeah, I do. Yeah. 467 00:24:52,324 --> 00:24:53,624 Is this normal? 468 00:24:53,700 --> 00:24:57,080 It's from his Britney Spears musical he's writing with his fake girlfriend. 469 00:25:49,839 --> 00:25:52,009 Hey! Look at this! 470 00:25:52,092 --> 00:25:55,052 Yes! Yay! 471 00:25:55,136 --> 00:25:57,926 Over here! Come on! Hey! 472 00:25:58,056 --> 00:25:59,492 - Wait. Where are you going? - Hey! 473 00:25:59,516 --> 00:26:01,476 Oh, my God. It didn't see us. It didn't see us. 474 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:02,560 Okay. 475 00:26:02,894 --> 00:26:05,614 - This. This'll get their attention. - What are you doing? 476 00:26:05,689 --> 00:26:07,149 Fuck this! Everybody run. 477 00:26:07,232 --> 00:26:09,672 - What? Oh, my God. - Oh, my God. What? Yo! Yo! 478 00:26:10,986 --> 00:26:13,066 Get your head down, Jeremy. 479 00:26:13,154 --> 00:26:14,914 Fuck you, Donnie! 480 00:26:15,282 --> 00:26:17,492 Oh... Okay. 481 00:26:18,201 --> 00:26:19,201 Guys? 482 00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:21,750 - What the fuck? - Guys! 483 00:26:23,248 --> 00:26:24,248 Seriously? 484 00:26:24,916 --> 00:26:27,996 Wow, Donnie, I am so impressed. This is some of your best work. 485 00:26:41,391 --> 00:26:42,731 Becky! Becky! 486 00:26:43,852 --> 00:26:47,022 - What the fuck! - Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 487 00:26:47,397 --> 00:26:49,477 Damn, that was dope. 488 00:26:49,566 --> 00:26:50,793 - You okay? - No. 489 00:26:50,817 --> 00:26:52,177 Holy shit. That was crazy. 490 00:26:52,235 --> 00:26:55,105 Oh, hey! It worked! Hey, we're here! 491 00:26:55,196 --> 00:26:58,576 - Let's get the dick. I got it. Let's go. - Let's go, Jeremy. 492 00:26:58,658 --> 00:27:01,078 Oh, hey! 493 00:27:01,411 --> 00:27:02,791 Hey, guys. Come on! 494 00:27:06,541 --> 00:27:08,381 - Hey, look! Hey! - Hey! 495 00:27:08,460 --> 00:27:09,580 - Hey! - Hi. 496 00:27:09,794 --> 00:27:11,714 Hey! 497 00:27:13,882 --> 00:27:17,222 We'll get him to East General Hospital, ASAP. 498 00:27:17,302 --> 00:27:21,012 As long as it's within twelve hours, a severed member can still be reattached. 499 00:27:21,097 --> 00:27:22,267 - Yes! - Okay, thank you. 500 00:27:22,349 --> 00:27:24,118 Your friends did a good job. You're gonna be okay. 501 00:27:24,142 --> 00:27:24,982 Thank you! 502 00:27:25,060 --> 00:27:27,560 Whose idea was it to set off the fireball? 503 00:27:27,646 --> 00:27:28,856 That was all me, dude. 504 00:27:28,938 --> 00:27:30,268 You're a fucking idiot! 505 00:27:30,357 --> 00:27:32,607 We saw you guys on our initial approach. 506 00:27:32,692 --> 00:27:35,992 Hike down to your car and you can meet him at the hospital. 507 00:27:36,529 --> 00:27:38,659 Okay. Okay, okay. Hey. 508 00:27:38,740 --> 00:27:42,410 You're gonna be okay. Yeah. We're gonna see you at the hospital, okay? 509 00:27:42,494 --> 00:27:45,334 Becky, you need to shut the fuck up. You're wasting time. We gotta go. 510 00:27:45,413 --> 00:27:46,463 Okay, yeah! Yeah! 511 00:27:46,539 --> 00:27:48,419 - He's not gonna die! - He's gonna be fine. 512 00:27:49,501 --> 00:27:52,341 Stay strong, Jeremy! 513 00:27:52,420 --> 00:27:53,800 Bye, Jeremy. 514 00:27:57,258 --> 00:27:59,468 Look. He's reverse-Terminator-ing. 515 00:27:59,552 --> 00:28:00,722 That's epic. 516 00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:05,892 Okay. He's gonna be okay. 517 00:28:05,975 --> 00:28:08,395 Oh, my God. Thank God. 518 00:28:12,232 --> 00:28:14,612 - He's good. - He's good. 519 00:28:20,198 --> 00:28:21,368 Whoo! 520 00:28:43,263 --> 00:28:46,473 - He really lost a lot of blood. - Yeah, man, I'm covered. 521 00:28:46,558 --> 00:28:49,848 Can I propose a little toast to the first responders? 522 00:28:50,019 --> 00:28:51,769 - Yes. - May the heroes that... 523 00:28:54,023 --> 00:28:56,033 - Guys? - What? 524 00:28:56,192 --> 00:28:58,112 - What? - Guys! 525 00:28:59,070 --> 00:29:00,320 What? Ah! 526 00:29:01,281 --> 00:29:04,241 - What is it? - What? 527 00:29:08,705 --> 00:29:09,705 Sean? 528 00:29:09,956 --> 00:29:12,206 You gave the EMT the wrong cooler? 529 00:29:12,834 --> 00:29:15,384 No! No, no. No way. 530 00:29:15,462 --> 00:29:17,962 - Wait. Wait, we have the dick! - Donnie, no! 531 00:29:18,047 --> 00:29:19,900 - Wait! Come back! - Oh! 532 00:29:19,924 --> 00:29:23,014 - Oh, shit! - The ice... 533 00:29:33,563 --> 00:29:34,903 We have my brother's dick. 534 00:29:35,356 --> 00:29:37,726 With no ice and no phones. 535 00:29:38,193 --> 00:29:41,323 - We have 12 hours, right? - Yeah, I think the EMT meant if it's, 536 00:29:41,404 --> 00:29:42,404 you know, on ice. 537 00:29:42,947 --> 00:29:44,737 Oh, shit! Oh, wait. They... they... 538 00:29:44,824 --> 00:29:46,064 They also told us to hike down. 539 00:29:46,117 --> 00:29:47,803 They probably don't think we're here anymore. 540 00:29:47,827 --> 00:29:50,157 Shit. Look, I'm willing to wait and see. 541 00:29:50,246 --> 00:29:52,366 But by that time, Jeremy's dick is gonna be rotten 542 00:29:52,457 --> 00:29:53,457 and have flies on it... 543 00:29:53,500 --> 00:29:55,840 No, no, no, no, we can't freak out. Don't freak out. 544 00:29:56,252 --> 00:29:57,252 We'll hike down. 545 00:29:57,545 --> 00:30:01,465 We'll... We'll find someone with ice or a phone along the way. 546 00:30:01,716 --> 00:30:02,966 And worst case, 547 00:30:03,301 --> 00:30:06,761 we'll be back in the parking lot in, like, six or seven hours. 548 00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:08,770 This is gonna work. 549 00:30:11,351 --> 00:30:13,191 Yeah, okay, Becky's right. Let's do this. 550 00:30:13,269 --> 00:30:15,019 This is gonna work. That's a good plan. 551 00:30:16,731 --> 00:30:19,231 Okay, let's leave our shit. We'll move faster. 552 00:30:19,317 --> 00:30:21,317 - Okay. It's gonna be a long way. - Okay, let's go. 553 00:30:21,694 --> 00:30:22,694 Okay. 554 00:30:25,448 --> 00:30:29,328 Hey, stay with us. Don't head for the light! 555 00:30:29,410 --> 00:30:30,540 Hang in there, buddy. 556 00:30:30,620 --> 00:30:33,210 We got a male. Severed penis. Cut clean to the base. 557 00:30:33,790 --> 00:30:35,290 - Oh, shit. - What? 558 00:30:35,375 --> 00:30:38,125 There's no penis. It's just two cans of Flittson. 559 00:30:38,211 --> 00:30:39,301 My dick isn't in there? 560 00:30:39,879 --> 00:30:42,719 Just cans. There's literally no penis. It's just two cans of beer. 561 00:30:43,007 --> 00:30:47,177 You guys, where's my dick? 562 00:30:52,058 --> 00:30:53,728 I don't think this is a good plan. 563 00:30:53,810 --> 00:30:57,060 I told Becky it was. We've been hiking for over an hour, and there's no one. 564 00:30:57,146 --> 00:31:00,686 Of course it's not a good plan. There are no good plans in this situation. 565 00:31:00,775 --> 00:31:02,235 Look, um... 566 00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:03,440 - Dude. - What? 567 00:31:03,570 --> 00:31:05,570 - Uh, he texted her. - Who texted her? 568 00:31:05,822 --> 00:31:07,032 - Chad. - What? 569 00:31:07,156 --> 00:31:09,026 When I was calling 911 from Becky's phone, 570 00:31:09,117 --> 00:31:10,447 Chad texted, 571 00:31:10,535 --> 00:31:11,887 and said he wants to get back together. 572 00:31:11,911 --> 00:31:14,121 - Rent cast party, man. - Yeah, I, um... 573 00:31:15,123 --> 00:31:16,583 Oh, man, I think I fucked up. 574 00:31:16,666 --> 00:31:19,246 I, like, I think I texted him back as her. 575 00:31:20,086 --> 00:31:22,256 Whoa. That is epic. What did you say? 576 00:31:22,338 --> 00:31:25,218 I said, "Fuck you," and then I called him a dirty taint. 577 00:31:25,300 --> 00:31:26,720 Guys! Guys? 578 00:31:27,218 --> 00:31:29,098 We're gonna stop and pee really quick. 579 00:31:29,178 --> 00:31:31,848 Ginger Pablo Escobar, please keep your eyes downhill. 580 00:31:31,931 --> 00:31:33,981 Ha! Hope you pee on your shoes. 581 00:31:34,642 --> 00:31:35,732 People are noticing. 582 00:31:35,810 --> 00:31:37,690 It still looks like you blew Chester Cheetah. 583 00:31:37,770 --> 00:31:39,270 - Oh, shit! - What? 584 00:31:39,606 --> 00:31:41,446 - Is Donnie coming to perv on me? - No. 585 00:31:41,482 --> 00:31:42,732 Hey, Sean! 586 00:31:43,067 --> 00:31:46,067 Sean, there's a ranger lookout station. They might have ice. 587 00:31:46,571 --> 00:31:47,911 Hey, that's good. 588 00:31:47,989 --> 00:31:49,409 That's awesome. Let's go. 589 00:31:49,490 --> 00:31:51,910 Sorry. 590 00:31:51,993 --> 00:31:55,123 Over there. Come on. 591 00:31:55,204 --> 00:31:56,624 Let's go! 592 00:31:57,206 --> 00:31:58,286 Let's go! 593 00:31:59,834 --> 00:32:00,834 Hello? 594 00:32:01,085 --> 00:32:03,295 - Hello, anybody? - Hello? 595 00:32:04,255 --> 00:32:05,715 - Hello? - Hello? 596 00:32:06,215 --> 00:32:08,585 We need some help! It's an emergency! 597 00:32:08,676 --> 00:32:09,836 - Excuse me? - Hello? 598 00:32:09,928 --> 00:32:11,218 Hello? 599 00:32:11,304 --> 00:32:12,354 Is anybody home? 600 00:32:12,430 --> 00:32:14,310 Seems like we have to break into this bitch. 601 00:32:14,390 --> 00:32:15,810 What? We're not doing that. 602 00:32:15,892 --> 00:32:17,562 I don't know. This is government property. 603 00:32:17,644 --> 00:32:18,854 I feel like it would be... 604 00:32:18,937 --> 00:32:20,097 a bad idea. 605 00:32:21,022 --> 00:32:22,072 Damn. 606 00:32:23,066 --> 00:32:25,026 But, yeah, you know, this is a time-sensitive case 607 00:32:25,068 --> 00:32:26,818 so it's a good call. It's a good call. 608 00:32:33,743 --> 00:32:35,373 Mm, it's empty. 609 00:32:35,453 --> 00:32:36,583 Great. 610 00:32:39,999 --> 00:32:42,249 Please have ice. Please have ice. 611 00:32:42,377 --> 00:32:44,457 Oh, dude. No, close that. 612 00:32:46,839 --> 00:32:49,429 Well maybe there's still a phone or radio or something, right? 613 00:32:49,509 --> 00:32:50,799 - Yeah? Yeah. - Yeah. Okay. 614 00:32:56,349 --> 00:32:58,889 Oh, my God! 615 00:32:58,977 --> 00:33:00,517 Oh, my God! 616 00:33:05,274 --> 00:33:06,824 - Oh! - No, no, no. 617 00:33:07,318 --> 00:33:08,898 I think the rattlesnake bit the dick. 618 00:33:08,987 --> 00:33:11,027 Oh, my God. A snake bit the dick? 619 00:33:11,114 --> 00:33:12,874 We have to get the venom out somehow. 620 00:33:12,949 --> 00:33:14,885 - Yeah. How do we do that? - We have to get it out. 621 00:33:14,909 --> 00:33:17,499 Maybe if we shake it a lot, the venom will pour out. 622 00:33:17,662 --> 00:33:18,872 No, we have to, uh... 623 00:33:21,833 --> 00:33:23,543 Someone has to suck it out. 624 00:33:27,130 --> 00:33:31,090 It seems only fair that the person who's had that dick in their mouth do it. 625 00:33:33,594 --> 00:33:35,564 Donnie, what the fuck are you talking about? 626 00:33:36,347 --> 00:33:39,177 - I'm obviously referring to Becky. - What? 627 00:33:39,267 --> 00:33:43,097 You guys shared a womb together, so obviously at some point in the dark... 628 00:33:43,229 --> 00:33:45,479 - that dick went in your mouth. - This idiot. 629 00:33:45,982 --> 00:33:47,862 - Are you fucking kidding me? - Fumbling around. 630 00:33:47,942 --> 00:33:51,572 Donnie, I didn't suck his fetus penis when I was in the womb. 631 00:33:51,654 --> 00:33:53,034 I am his sister. 632 00:33:53,114 --> 00:33:55,074 I am obviously the last person to suck the dick. 633 00:33:55,158 --> 00:33:57,738 - You're sucking before I do. - I'm sucking... 634 00:33:57,827 --> 00:33:59,827 I am not sucking my brother's dick. End of story. 635 00:33:59,912 --> 00:34:02,332 The women should suck the dick. We don't even know how. 636 00:34:02,415 --> 00:34:06,125 It's not even the same kind of sucking, you stupid idiot. 637 00:34:06,210 --> 00:34:09,760 - I am not going to do it! - You should. This is your fault. 638 00:34:09,839 --> 00:34:11,879 - Yeah, you should. - I'll do it. 639 00:34:12,258 --> 00:34:16,468 I'll do it! I'll do it! I'll suck it! I will suck the dick. 640 00:34:18,723 --> 00:34:19,723 I lost the phones. 641 00:34:20,475 --> 00:34:22,015 I gave them the wrong cooler. 642 00:34:24,103 --> 00:34:25,193 I'll suck the penis. 643 00:34:26,731 --> 00:34:28,781 - It's really cool of you. Thanks. - Yeah. 644 00:34:29,108 --> 00:34:30,108 Just, uh... 645 00:34:31,444 --> 00:34:32,784 I'd like to do it... 646 00:34:33,946 --> 00:34:34,946 alone. 647 00:34:35,531 --> 00:34:36,571 Yeah, you got it. 648 00:34:36,657 --> 00:34:38,367 - I'll tell your story. - Okay. 649 00:34:38,993 --> 00:34:39,993 You're a hero. 650 00:34:40,036 --> 00:34:41,036 Yup. 651 00:34:48,086 --> 00:34:49,086 You da man. 652 00:35:19,075 --> 00:35:20,075 Thanks. 653 00:35:24,580 --> 00:35:27,000 Man, we came all the way up here for nothing. 654 00:35:28,167 --> 00:35:31,587 I really fucked this up. I'm sorry. 655 00:35:32,004 --> 00:35:34,924 What now? We're just gonna run down this mountain and pray that J-Tron's D 656 00:35:35,007 --> 00:35:36,507 doesn't fester before the car? 657 00:35:37,677 --> 00:35:39,797 We've only been hiking for three hours. 658 00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:42,520 That means we still have nine hours. 659 00:35:42,598 --> 00:35:45,938 That was before it got bit by a snake. 660 00:35:47,854 --> 00:35:48,854 You guys hear that? 661 00:35:50,815 --> 00:35:52,065 Dude, look! 662 00:35:52,984 --> 00:35:53,984 A drone? 663 00:35:54,735 --> 00:35:56,145 Wait a minute. Wait. 664 00:35:56,571 --> 00:35:57,411 If there's a drone, 665 00:35:57,488 --> 00:36:00,448 that means there's a person, and they probably have a phone. 666 00:36:01,242 --> 00:36:03,702 We should... We should follow it. Let's go get Sean. 667 00:36:04,162 --> 00:36:06,752 Sean! Sean, there's a drone... Oh! 668 00:36:08,124 --> 00:36:10,544 - Don't look at me! - Sorry. Sorry. 669 00:36:10,626 --> 00:36:14,416 Uh, it's just... There's a drone, so there's people, and we need to go now. 670 00:36:14,505 --> 00:36:16,415 Oh, my God. That's great. Okay. Um... 671 00:36:16,507 --> 00:36:20,297 - Just... Stop looking. - One second. I gotta... 672 00:36:20,386 --> 00:36:22,176 I'm getting a lot of venom out of this thing. 673 00:36:27,435 --> 00:36:28,435 Hey! 674 00:36:31,898 --> 00:36:33,068 Come here! 675 00:36:34,233 --> 00:36:35,233 There. Get it. 676 00:36:35,985 --> 00:36:36,985 Stop! 677 00:36:40,573 --> 00:36:42,873 - Where'd it go? - Does anybody see it? 678 00:36:45,286 --> 00:36:46,616 Oh! There it goes. 679 00:36:47,079 --> 00:36:48,079 I got this shit. 680 00:37:24,325 --> 00:37:26,035 - Sarah! - Oh, shit! 681 00:37:26,118 --> 00:37:26,948 Fuck! 682 00:37:27,036 --> 00:37:29,866 - Oh, my God! Oh! - Fuck! 683 00:37:30,164 --> 00:37:31,834 I got it! 684 00:37:32,541 --> 00:37:35,041 - Are you okay? - Yeah, totally! 685 00:37:35,753 --> 00:37:38,423 - There are people there. They have a boat. - Nice! 686 00:37:38,631 --> 00:37:39,761 Watch this. 687 00:37:41,300 --> 00:37:43,260 Let's get wet! 688 00:37:43,344 --> 00:37:45,014 - Oh, shit. - Oh, my God. 689 00:37:47,098 --> 00:37:49,768 - Holy fuck. - Whoo! 690 00:37:49,850 --> 00:37:50,850 Yeah! 691 00:37:51,227 --> 00:37:52,807 - That was pretty cool. - Yeah. 692 00:37:53,354 --> 00:37:55,024 Yeah. It looks easy. He made it look easy! 693 00:37:55,106 --> 00:37:57,396 - Yeah. Do... do you wanna go next? - Yeah! 694 00:37:57,733 --> 00:37:58,863 Yeah, yeah. No, I'll go. 695 00:37:58,943 --> 00:38:02,283 Hey, I get the feeling that you maybe don't wanna jump. 696 00:38:02,363 --> 00:38:05,573 So, uh, we can try to find a way to hike down. 697 00:38:05,658 --> 00:38:08,198 - No, I wanna... I want to go. - Okay. 698 00:38:08,286 --> 00:38:09,826 Es geht um die Wurst, ja? 699 00:38:09,912 --> 00:38:12,002 Which means "it's do or die" in German. 700 00:38:12,081 --> 00:38:13,921 Actually, the literal German translation is, 701 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:15,920 "it's all about sausage," which is funny... 702 00:38:16,002 --> 00:38:18,252 Are you making a dick joke right now? We, like, gotta go. 703 00:38:18,337 --> 00:38:19,977 Yeah. Obviously. Yeah, okay. Let's do it. 704 00:38:20,006 --> 00:38:21,046 - Let's do it. - All right. 705 00:38:21,132 --> 00:38:24,302 I'm not gonna take the long way, I'm gonna take the Sean way, huh? 706 00:38:24,385 --> 00:38:26,095 - Oh, shit! - Oh, my God! 707 00:38:26,178 --> 00:38:28,348 - Fuck! Oh, fuck. - Oh! 708 00:38:34,729 --> 00:38:35,769 Yeah! 709 00:38:36,314 --> 00:38:39,284 I'm good! I'm good! Whoo! 710 00:38:41,527 --> 00:38:44,447 So, the "Sean way" is going for 711 00:38:44,613 --> 00:38:47,033 the maximum amount of pain you can inflict on your body? 712 00:38:47,116 --> 00:38:48,946 No, no. Honestly, it didn't hurt that much. 713 00:38:49,035 --> 00:38:52,455 It was actually really fun. I actually... It was a fun ride. 714 00:38:52,538 --> 00:38:53,998 Ooh. Oh, my God. 715 00:38:55,624 --> 00:38:58,044 Dude, uh, your back is like... 716 00:38:58,836 --> 00:38:59,836 red raw. 717 00:39:03,591 --> 00:39:05,591 Oh my... Oh, my God. 718 00:39:05,718 --> 00:39:07,638 Oh, fuck me. 719 00:39:07,720 --> 00:39:08,760 You guys, look. 720 00:39:09,388 --> 00:39:10,388 Huh? 721 00:39:11,599 --> 00:39:14,689 Oh! That's so dumb. 722 00:39:14,769 --> 00:39:18,229 They fucking came back. And we're not there. That's awesome. 723 00:39:18,314 --> 00:39:21,284 Ow! 724 00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:24,820 - Damn it! - All right, man! Jesus. We're all mad. 725 00:39:24,904 --> 00:39:26,744 No, the wind blew against my back. 726 00:39:27,073 --> 00:39:28,413 It's okay. I'm fine. 727 00:39:30,368 --> 00:39:31,368 What? 728 00:39:31,911 --> 00:39:34,911 You guys, come on. Let's... Let's just keep going. 729 00:39:40,252 --> 00:39:43,132 - The helicopter went back to the campsite. - Yes. 730 00:39:43,214 --> 00:39:45,224 - But your friends weren't there. - No. 731 00:39:45,674 --> 00:39:49,604 So, the doctor's gonna need to operate before this gets infected. 732 00:39:49,678 --> 00:39:51,258 Okay. No, my friends, 733 00:39:51,347 --> 00:39:53,717 they'll... they'll get me my penis back. I know they will. 734 00:39:53,808 --> 00:39:58,058 Okay, I know they will, too. If they don't, though, you'll be fine. 735 00:39:58,479 --> 00:40:02,529 We can do a full penal reconstruction using a graft from your forearm or glute. 736 00:40:02,733 --> 00:40:04,113 The results are fantastic. 737 00:40:04,652 --> 00:40:06,202 - Really? - Absolutely. 738 00:40:06,278 --> 00:40:08,278 In addition to increased self-esteem, 739 00:40:08,364 --> 00:40:10,664 most patients report successful ejaculation 740 00:40:10,741 --> 00:40:12,331 in ten percent of sexual encounters. 741 00:40:12,410 --> 00:40:15,250 On a pleasure scale, we're hitting mid-to high-threes. 742 00:40:15,496 --> 00:40:16,536 Is that good? 743 00:40:16,789 --> 00:40:18,289 Those numbers sound bad. 744 00:40:18,749 --> 00:40:21,209 Well, in comparison with not having a penis, 745 00:40:21,293 --> 00:40:22,803 I think those numbers sound great. 746 00:40:22,878 --> 00:40:25,128 Okay. I will wait for my dick. 747 00:40:25,798 --> 00:40:29,048 I have a strong dick. I know it'll last days out in the wild. 748 00:40:29,135 --> 00:40:29,965 No. 749 00:40:30,052 --> 00:40:32,852 Everyone thinks their penis is special. It's not. 750 00:40:32,930 --> 00:40:37,180 Okay? It's like one of these flowers. Right? 751 00:40:37,726 --> 00:40:41,186 If you remove it from the body, cut off its flow of blood, 752 00:40:41,689 --> 00:40:45,649 and then eventually, if left on its own, it will wilt... 753 00:40:46,444 --> 00:40:47,444 and die. 754 00:40:54,368 --> 00:40:55,828 HBO's on Channel 3. 755 00:41:00,624 --> 00:41:02,214 Come on, guys. 756 00:41:03,169 --> 00:41:06,669 I know you're doing whatever it takes to get here as fast as you can. 757 00:41:08,716 --> 00:41:09,796 Hey, Becky! 758 00:41:09,884 --> 00:41:14,354 Hey, don't beat yourself up over the helicopter. 759 00:41:14,430 --> 00:41:17,560 I think you're doing great. I've always thought you were really great. 760 00:41:17,641 --> 00:41:20,811 Uh, are you forgetting the time you totally rejected me? 761 00:41:21,270 --> 00:41:24,060 That never happened. I don't remember that happening. 762 00:41:24,315 --> 00:41:27,275 Come on. Remember the Rent cast party? 763 00:41:27,735 --> 00:41:30,105 - Kinda made a move. - I... might remember. 764 00:41:31,071 --> 00:41:33,531 I had a momentary crush on you. 765 00:41:36,243 --> 00:41:38,513 - You had a crush on me? - I just thought... 766 00:41:38,537 --> 00:41:40,537 Sean, emergency bro discussion. 767 00:41:40,623 --> 00:41:42,373 - One sec, man. - 911, Sean. 768 00:41:42,458 --> 00:41:44,878 - You better go. Sounds very important. - Sorry. 769 00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:48,260 Sean, Sean, you are not gonna believe what I found in the woods. 770 00:41:48,589 --> 00:41:50,879 Wait till you feast your eyes on these. 771 00:41:52,426 --> 00:41:54,216 What are those? Why do you have those? 772 00:41:54,678 --> 00:41:57,098 When Sarah went behind that big bush to dry off or whatever, 773 00:41:57,181 --> 00:41:58,891 I went after her, 'cause I needed to pee. 774 00:41:58,974 --> 00:42:01,774 Okay, I find those waiting on a rock. 775 00:42:02,311 --> 00:42:03,351 For me. 776 00:42:03,646 --> 00:42:05,016 Knew she came to win me back. 777 00:42:05,105 --> 00:42:09,485 What? Maybe she just didn't want to wear wet underwear, you psychopath. 778 00:42:09,860 --> 00:42:11,610 That's like serial killer behavior. 779 00:42:11,695 --> 00:42:12,855 Okay, these are a sign. 780 00:42:12,947 --> 00:42:15,987 She wants us to be together. And you know what, Sean? 781 00:42:16,075 --> 00:42:18,035 I'll tell you the truth. I'm ready to forgive her. 782 00:42:18,285 --> 00:42:19,405 Forgive her for what? 783 00:42:19,787 --> 00:42:21,747 Over Christmas break, usual spot, 784 00:42:21,830 --> 00:42:23,225 abandoned church my grandma used to take me to. 785 00:42:23,249 --> 00:42:25,539 Before we start hooking up, I throw around I want a DTR. 786 00:42:25,626 --> 00:42:28,046 - She freaks out. - DTR? 787 00:42:28,128 --> 00:42:29,548 You said you wanted dick to rim? 788 00:42:29,630 --> 00:42:32,420 No. What? I wanted to "define the relationship." 789 00:42:32,508 --> 00:42:34,968 - What the fuck is dick to rim? - I don't know. Butt stuff. 790 00:42:35,469 --> 00:42:37,139 What has happened to you in Germany? 791 00:42:38,430 --> 00:42:41,310 Anyway, I tell her I wanna DTR. 792 00:42:41,517 --> 00:42:43,687 And she's all like, "Relationships are bullshit." 793 00:42:43,769 --> 00:42:45,769 Then I feel like an idiot. I don't know what to do. 794 00:42:45,854 --> 00:42:48,484 So I kick her out of a car... may or may not have been moving. 795 00:42:48,566 --> 00:42:51,106 - Wow, that's really mean. - I also told her... 796 00:42:51,193 --> 00:42:52,783 um, that I never liked her. 797 00:42:52,987 --> 00:42:55,357 - Wow, man. - And she was gaining weight. 798 00:42:59,034 --> 00:43:01,254 Sean! This is a power play. 799 00:43:01,537 --> 00:43:02,537 She wants me back. 800 00:43:02,621 --> 00:43:04,661 Come on, Donnie. The camp's around this bend. 801 00:43:06,500 --> 00:43:09,000 - Hi! Hello. Hey, bud! - Hey, buddy. 802 00:43:09,086 --> 00:43:10,606 - Hey, there. - Hey, hi. 803 00:43:10,671 --> 00:43:12,051 - Oh, my God. - Okay. 804 00:43:12,131 --> 00:43:13,591 - Whoo! - Hey. 805 00:43:14,091 --> 00:43:15,291 I believe this belongs to you. 806 00:43:15,342 --> 00:43:19,222 And I believe you're the bitch that fucked it up! 807 00:43:19,305 --> 00:43:20,425 - What now? - Whoa. 808 00:43:20,514 --> 00:43:22,604 You better have cash to pay for this. 809 00:43:23,058 --> 00:43:25,268 Okay, uh, where are your parents? 810 00:43:25,352 --> 00:43:27,442 My dad went fly-fishing. 811 00:43:27,521 --> 00:43:29,571 What about the boat? Where are the keys? 812 00:43:29,648 --> 00:43:32,068 Because we're in an emergency, and we need some help. 813 00:43:32,192 --> 00:43:36,492 All right. If I'm gonna give you the keys, then I wanna see some stuff. 814 00:43:37,573 --> 00:43:39,703 Okay. 815 00:43:39,783 --> 00:43:42,833 - No. Ugh. - We are not going to show you our boobs. 816 00:43:42,911 --> 00:43:44,001 Bitch, please! 817 00:43:44,371 --> 00:43:46,291 I'm 11, not five. 818 00:43:46,749 --> 00:43:49,169 I've seen thousands of titties. 819 00:43:49,877 --> 00:43:51,627 I wanna see you two scissor. 820 00:43:53,005 --> 00:43:54,085 - Yeah! - Oh! 821 00:43:54,131 --> 00:43:56,881 - Take that, you little perv. Gross. - That is inappropriate. 822 00:43:57,259 --> 00:43:59,139 I'm not helping you with shit! 823 00:43:59,470 --> 00:44:01,220 Stay the fuck away from me! 824 00:44:02,097 --> 00:44:04,557 - Kid's a monster. - Jesus Christ. 825 00:44:05,059 --> 00:44:06,479 I kind of love him, though. 826 00:44:06,685 --> 00:44:08,845 Okay, if we're not outta here in, like, an hour… 827 00:44:08,937 --> 00:44:11,357 - Jeremy will be dickless... - The rest of his life. 828 00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:13,190 That's decades with no dick. 829 00:44:13,692 --> 00:44:15,282 No. We need that boat. 830 00:44:15,569 --> 00:44:17,489 Fuck this little baby Bieber wannabe. 831 00:44:17,863 --> 00:44:19,203 What are you doing? 832 00:44:19,990 --> 00:44:22,790 Listen here, you little terrorist. This is my brother's dick. 833 00:44:23,118 --> 00:44:25,538 He's in the hospital right now, and he needs us. 834 00:44:25,621 --> 00:44:29,001 We need your boat so we can get to the hospital to reattach it. 835 00:44:29,500 --> 00:44:33,090 Listen, kid, when we're around, dicks get cut and dicks get sucked. 836 00:44:33,170 --> 00:44:34,630 I saw him suck this dick. 837 00:44:34,713 --> 00:44:37,303 I sucked that dick this morning. Now, give us the keys. 838 00:44:40,094 --> 00:44:41,094 Yes! 839 00:44:41,345 --> 00:44:45,385 All right. Tell your dad the boat's gonna be at the south campground lot. 840 00:44:45,474 --> 00:44:47,484 Jesus, Sean, that dick really fucked him up. 841 00:44:47,559 --> 00:44:49,649 He hasn't said a word since you showed him the dick. 842 00:44:49,728 --> 00:44:51,268 What if he never talks again? 843 00:44:53,315 --> 00:44:55,377 - Whatever. Fuck this kid. - The worst. 844 00:44:55,401 --> 00:44:56,651 Piece of shit, anyway. 845 00:45:00,531 --> 00:45:01,531 Hey, buddy. 846 00:45:03,158 --> 00:45:05,408 Son are... Are you okay? 847 00:45:06,203 --> 00:45:07,623 Dicks get cut. 848 00:45:09,081 --> 00:45:10,871 Dicks get sucked. 849 00:45:13,210 --> 00:45:15,800 - All right. I got you. - Okay. 850 00:45:15,879 --> 00:45:17,759 Good God. Hey! 851 00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:19,840 - Hey! - Oh, shit! 852 00:45:19,967 --> 00:45:23,387 - Oh, my God! Go! - Guys, we gotta go! 853 00:45:23,470 --> 00:45:26,560 - Go! Shit! There's too many keys. - I'm getting the anchor. 854 00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:29,440 Hello, sir, I can completely explain what's going on here. 855 00:45:29,518 --> 00:45:31,398 What have you done to my son? 856 00:45:31,478 --> 00:45:33,198 It's a good thing you're... Okay, fuck this. 857 00:45:33,272 --> 00:45:35,112 I'll kill all of you perverts! 858 00:45:40,446 --> 00:45:42,590 Hey, he has a bruise. Leave him alone. 859 00:45:42,614 --> 00:45:44,124 You're a fucker! 860 00:45:44,199 --> 00:45:46,159 Hit me again. I fucking dare you! 861 00:45:46,243 --> 00:45:49,333 Oh, my God. Ugh. Go. 862 00:45:49,455 --> 00:45:51,205 Let's go! Come on! Move! 863 00:45:51,331 --> 00:45:52,331 I got it! 864 00:45:52,374 --> 00:45:54,004 I'm gonna kill you, son of a bitch. 865 00:45:54,084 --> 00:45:55,174 Back the fuck up! 866 00:45:55,919 --> 00:45:58,009 Oh, fuck. 867 00:45:58,088 --> 00:46:00,838 Oh, God. It's slipping, guys! 868 00:46:00,924 --> 00:46:03,894 Shit! He's Cliffhanger-ing! Oh, hold it, Sean. 869 00:46:04,720 --> 00:46:06,260 Fucker! 870 00:46:06,346 --> 00:46:08,426 - Oh, my God! Oh, my God. - I got it. 871 00:46:11,101 --> 00:46:13,771 - Fucker! - Auf Wiedersehen! 872 00:46:13,854 --> 00:46:15,444 Hey! That's my boat! 873 00:46:15,522 --> 00:46:16,982 Come back with my boat! 874 00:46:17,649 --> 00:46:20,319 - Holy shit. - Whoo! 875 00:46:21,487 --> 00:46:22,817 That was insane. 876 00:46:23,322 --> 00:46:26,072 - That guy tried to murder us. - Yeah. He was crazy. 877 00:46:26,241 --> 00:46:29,791 I mean, in all fairness, he probably thought we molested his kid. 878 00:46:29,870 --> 00:46:32,540 I shouldn't have said, "Dicks get cut and dicks get sucked." 879 00:46:32,623 --> 00:46:33,673 That was too much. 880 00:46:34,875 --> 00:46:36,205 Nice going, pinch hit. 881 00:46:36,627 --> 00:46:39,247 Yeah, thanks. I learned from the best. 882 00:46:41,131 --> 00:46:43,841 When you nailed me in the head with a beer can. 883 00:46:44,301 --> 00:46:46,801 Oh, yeah. That was awesome. 884 00:46:49,890 --> 00:46:54,850 By the way, I got your sign and... message received. 885 00:46:55,062 --> 00:46:56,942 - My sign? - Yeah. 886 00:46:58,732 --> 00:46:59,732 Look familiar? 887 00:47:01,109 --> 00:47:05,159 If I'm wearing your underwear, that means you're not wearing any. 888 00:47:06,031 --> 00:47:07,531 Those aren't my underwear. 889 00:47:08,700 --> 00:47:10,300 Oh, my... Oh, my God. Man, that's gross. 890 00:47:11,745 --> 00:47:13,745 - Okay, don't tell anyone. - I... 891 00:47:13,831 --> 00:47:15,961 I really appreciate that you tried. 892 00:47:16,500 --> 00:47:19,380 I think we're actually gonna make it to the hospital in time. 893 00:47:19,461 --> 00:47:21,421 - We're a good team. - Yeah. 894 00:47:25,843 --> 00:47:27,853 - Yeah! - Yeah. 895 00:47:27,970 --> 00:47:29,760 Oh, yeah. 896 00:47:29,847 --> 00:47:31,847 Time to cooler it up. Whoo! 897 00:47:34,059 --> 00:47:37,149 Whoo! Yeah! 898 00:47:37,229 --> 00:47:39,109 Whoo! 899 00:47:44,403 --> 00:47:46,153 Let's find Jeremy and get some ice. 900 00:47:46,238 --> 00:47:48,678 - Get that dick to the hospital! - God! Donnie! 901 00:47:48,740 --> 00:47:49,620 Oh, my God. 902 00:47:49,700 --> 00:47:52,120 It's all crumbed. Like a churro. 903 00:47:52,578 --> 00:47:55,208 - Oh, my God. We made it! - Let's go get some ice. 904 00:47:55,289 --> 00:47:56,289 Yes! 905 00:47:59,459 --> 00:48:01,709 Let's go! Let's go! 906 00:48:04,673 --> 00:48:08,303 I have read the literature, and I've come to the conclusion 907 00:48:08,385 --> 00:48:10,795 that I do not fucking want this, okay? 908 00:48:11,179 --> 00:48:12,559 - I don't want a butt dick. - Hey! 909 00:48:13,181 --> 00:48:16,521 Don't you yell at me. I'm not the one who got drunk and... Pfft. 910 00:48:16,602 --> 00:48:19,402 Ob... Obviously, you don't have a dick. 911 00:48:19,479 --> 00:48:21,569 No, I don't have a dick! 912 00:48:21,899 --> 00:48:23,729 No one in this room has a dick. 913 00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:26,360 Right? 914 00:48:26,987 --> 00:48:28,857 - Yeah. - Okay. 915 00:48:35,996 --> 00:48:37,996 Let's hope they're on their way. 916 00:48:42,085 --> 00:48:43,685 Think we should call your parents? 917 00:48:43,754 --> 00:48:45,424 What's your mom's number? 918 00:48:46,131 --> 00:48:47,301 Uh, it's... Uh... 919 00:48:49,217 --> 00:48:50,587 I don't know it. 920 00:48:51,011 --> 00:48:52,761 - At all? No? - No. Mm-mm. 921 00:48:52,846 --> 00:48:56,886 I don't know. I just programmed them into my first phone. I was 11. 922 00:48:56,975 --> 00:48:59,555 We can maybe check if they left a message on your phone. 923 00:48:59,645 --> 00:49:01,395 Don't leave a message, just text me. 924 00:49:02,397 --> 00:49:04,647 You have one new message. 925 00:49:04,733 --> 00:49:07,363 Fuck you, Becky. You're the taint. 926 00:49:08,195 --> 00:49:09,815 - Is that Chad? - You hear me? 927 00:49:09,905 --> 00:49:11,132 - Um... - You're the real taint. 928 00:49:11,156 --> 00:49:12,236 I'm glad this is over. 929 00:49:12,616 --> 00:49:14,156 You deserve to be alone. 930 00:49:14,451 --> 00:49:18,081 I want you to take that note I wrote you our four-month anniversary and burn it. 931 00:49:18,163 --> 00:49:19,753 I don't mean any of that anymore. 932 00:49:19,831 --> 00:49:20,751 Ah! 933 00:49:20,832 --> 00:49:22,882 You made me so mad, I dropped my vape! 934 00:49:23,251 --> 00:49:26,671 You owe me a new vape, Becky. You hurt my feelings, dawg. 935 00:49:29,591 --> 00:49:31,841 Becky, um, I have to tell you something. 936 00:49:32,135 --> 00:49:33,175 When... Um... 937 00:49:33,512 --> 00:49:37,522 - I'm really sorry, but... - What? No, no. It's not your fault. 938 00:49:38,225 --> 00:49:39,595 It's just really fucked up 939 00:49:39,685 --> 00:49:43,105 how someone you thought cared about you can lie to your face. 940 00:49:46,066 --> 00:49:47,066 Yeah. Yeah. 941 00:49:55,909 --> 00:49:58,949 Wow. Damn. Girl, you are a really good driver. 942 00:49:59,121 --> 00:50:01,321 - Thanks. - God. You're like a young Furiosa. 943 00:50:14,678 --> 00:50:16,968 All right, man, we gotta get this dick on life support. 944 00:50:17,055 --> 00:50:18,925 - We need bags and ice. - Oh, my God, dude. 945 00:50:19,016 --> 00:50:20,726 This looks like a cat shat in a cooler. 946 00:50:20,809 --> 00:50:22,439 - Oh, shit. - Ugh. 947 00:50:22,561 --> 00:50:23,851 Should we... Should we clean it? 948 00:50:23,937 --> 00:50:26,857 I'm fucked if I know. What do you even clean a dick with? 949 00:50:26,940 --> 00:50:28,360 Doxycycline. 950 00:50:29,276 --> 00:50:30,276 Or a Z-Pak. 951 00:50:31,737 --> 00:50:34,157 I've had everything in the book. It works. Trust me. 952 00:50:34,656 --> 00:50:36,866 Which one of you's is it? You? 953 00:50:37,993 --> 00:50:38,993 You? 954 00:50:39,745 --> 00:50:40,825 Or is it the ranger? 955 00:50:40,912 --> 00:50:44,252 Yeah, actually it is for the... the young, uh, ranger. 956 00:50:44,332 --> 00:50:46,132 We need stuff to clean his wound. 957 00:50:46,668 --> 00:50:47,958 A wounded soldier? 958 00:50:48,503 --> 00:50:50,963 Um... We need to clean his, uh... 959 00:50:56,303 --> 00:50:57,303 Penis. 960 00:50:57,637 --> 00:50:59,807 Three inches. Severed at the base. 961 00:51:00,932 --> 00:51:02,182 I've seen this before. 962 00:51:02,934 --> 00:51:03,934 You have? 963 00:51:03,977 --> 00:51:07,557 It would be my honor and a privilege if I could do this for you. 964 00:51:10,776 --> 00:51:11,856 - Let's do it. - Okay. 965 00:51:11,943 --> 00:51:13,953 Let's do it! 966 00:51:15,030 --> 00:51:16,240 All right, let's go. 967 00:51:16,323 --> 00:51:17,803 He's been in this situation. 968 00:51:17,866 --> 00:51:20,186 If we're gonna trust someone, it might as well be this guy. 969 00:51:23,830 --> 00:51:25,080 Whoa, whoopsie. 970 00:51:49,898 --> 00:51:51,568 His dick's gonna be even better. 971 00:52:03,411 --> 00:52:04,751 Wow. 972 00:52:05,705 --> 00:52:07,365 Fresh ice. Good as new. 973 00:52:08,291 --> 00:52:10,671 Oh, wow. 974 00:52:11,795 --> 00:52:12,915 That is amazing. 975 00:52:13,004 --> 00:52:14,244 Yup. 976 00:52:14,297 --> 00:52:16,547 - Thank you. - My pleasure. 977 00:52:17,425 --> 00:52:18,425 Good luck, soldiers. 978 00:52:18,510 --> 00:52:19,930 - Hey, yeah. - Oh, hey. 979 00:52:20,220 --> 00:52:23,100 If you need anything, this is my card. 980 00:52:24,474 --> 00:52:27,604 - Let your sergeant know what happened. - Absolutely. Will do. 981 00:52:27,686 --> 00:52:29,306 Yeah. What the hell's that? 982 00:52:30,021 --> 00:52:31,191 It's just my wallet. 983 00:52:32,649 --> 00:52:35,989 - Ow! - Crestview High School. 984 00:52:36,653 --> 00:52:37,743 Junior. 985 00:52:39,614 --> 00:52:40,874 The hell's going on here? 986 00:52:40,949 --> 00:52:43,079 It's just a really old high school ID. 987 00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:44,200 Says it's from this year. 988 00:52:44,286 --> 00:52:46,036 - Does it? Mm-hmm. - Yeah. 989 00:52:46,121 --> 00:52:47,371 - Okay. - Fuck. 990 00:52:50,333 --> 00:52:53,713 Did you boys lie about being servicemen so you could buy alcohol? 991 00:52:53,795 --> 00:52:55,625 No. No, absolutely not. 992 00:52:55,714 --> 00:52:58,634 There is no way we would ever lie. It's... 993 00:53:02,679 --> 00:53:04,889 Our... Our friend Jeremy, he lied. 994 00:53:05,515 --> 00:53:08,475 You mean, I just cleaned a civilian dick? 995 00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:11,060 - I am so, so sorry. - Stay cool, man. 996 00:53:11,146 --> 00:53:13,016 - Get the hell over here! - Fuck. 997 00:53:13,106 --> 00:53:14,516 - Go, dude! Go! - Come back here. 998 00:53:18,695 --> 00:53:20,485 We have got to go! 999 00:53:21,281 --> 00:53:22,281 He looks mad! 1000 00:53:22,324 --> 00:53:24,164 - Go! - Oh, come on. Okay. 1001 00:53:24,534 --> 00:53:26,544 - Here it is! Unlock! - Unlock the door, Becky. 1002 00:53:26,620 --> 00:53:28,910 - I'm pressing unlock. - Open the door. 1003 00:53:32,209 --> 00:53:34,379 Shit! He's got a fucking bow and arrow! Go! 1004 00:53:34,461 --> 00:53:38,591 The only dicks that I touch are mine and my husband's. 1005 00:53:39,090 --> 00:53:40,220 Go! Shit! 1006 00:53:40,300 --> 00:53:42,930 Go, go, go, go, go, go! 1007 00:53:43,637 --> 00:53:44,547 Hey! 1008 00:53:44,638 --> 00:53:46,638 Go! Go, go, go, go, go! 1009 00:53:46,723 --> 00:53:48,201 - That was crazy. - God. 1010 00:53:48,225 --> 00:53:50,135 Oh, my God. Holy shit. 1011 00:53:50,227 --> 00:53:52,477 Guys, we made it. 1012 00:53:55,649 --> 00:53:57,979 - Oh, my God! - Oh, my God! Holy shit! 1013 00:53:58,068 --> 00:53:59,068 Fuck you! 1014 00:53:59,486 --> 00:54:01,066 Yeah, fuck you! 1015 00:54:01,154 --> 00:54:03,164 - Holy fuck! Are you okay? - Ow... 1016 00:54:03,281 --> 00:54:05,581 You look okay. Looks like just the tip went in. 1017 00:54:05,659 --> 00:54:08,159 Come on, Donnie. You love just the tip. 1018 00:54:08,245 --> 00:54:10,115 Fuck, that's really funny, but not right now. 1019 00:54:13,208 --> 00:54:16,288 Did you say Kendall Jenners? With an S? 1020 00:54:16,378 --> 00:54:18,838 We're supposed to meet for the first time this summer. 1021 00:54:18,922 --> 00:54:21,512 That name is like Catfishing 101. 1022 00:54:21,591 --> 00:54:22,652 Why does everyone say that? 1023 00:54:22,676 --> 00:54:24,636 She likes to text. She doesn't like talking. 1024 00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:26,259 That is definitely a catfish. 1025 00:54:26,846 --> 00:54:28,966 Okay, look. Anyway, if I'm gonna die, 1026 00:54:30,016 --> 00:54:33,346 I need her to know... that I love her. 1027 00:54:33,436 --> 00:54:36,436 You're not gonna die. You just won't have a penis. 1028 00:54:36,523 --> 00:54:38,443 I'd rather die than not have my penis. 1029 00:54:38,525 --> 00:54:39,935 We've waited all day. 1030 00:54:40,110 --> 00:54:41,900 It's been almost 12 hours. 1031 00:54:41,987 --> 00:54:43,737 We haven't heard anything from your friends. 1032 00:54:43,822 --> 00:54:46,162 - Yeah, but there's still time. - Nah. 1033 00:54:46,449 --> 00:54:49,159 Look at the flower. Look. It still has most of its petals. 1034 00:54:49,786 --> 00:54:52,286 What? No. Dude... The flower... 1035 00:54:52,622 --> 00:54:54,042 that was an example. 1036 00:54:54,124 --> 00:54:57,714 Did you think that that flower was magically linked to your penis? 1037 00:54:59,671 --> 00:55:01,841 This isn't Beauty and the Beast. 1038 00:55:01,923 --> 00:55:05,723 But me and my friends are fucking idiots. They're gonna need more time. 1039 00:55:05,802 --> 00:55:07,802 Honestly, it's not looking good. 1040 00:55:08,013 --> 00:55:11,473 So, let's just hope your friends are arriving right now. 1041 00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:20,320 Hi! Hi! We're here for Jeremy Abelar. 1042 00:55:20,817 --> 00:55:23,027 We have a... a special delivery. 1043 00:55:23,403 --> 00:55:25,243 Uh, one moment. 1044 00:55:25,447 --> 00:55:27,317 - Abelar? Abelar. - Abelar. Yes. 1045 00:55:27,449 --> 00:55:28,909 A-B-Oh... Ooh... 1046 00:55:28,992 --> 00:55:31,162 I just gotta go back here. 1047 00:55:31,244 --> 00:55:33,334 That's it. 1048 00:55:33,747 --> 00:55:35,577 Ah! Yep. 1049 00:55:35,915 --> 00:55:37,665 Ah, we don't have a patient under that name. 1050 00:55:38,084 --> 00:55:41,714 Uh, the helicopter EMT said they would be bringing him here. 1051 00:55:41,796 --> 00:55:43,556 I don't know what to tell you. He's not here. 1052 00:55:43,590 --> 00:55:44,920 They sometimes reroute medevacs. 1053 00:55:45,008 --> 00:55:47,218 I'd try Clarkson Memorial. They have a helipad. 1054 00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:55,140 Fu... 1055 00:56:00,106 --> 00:56:01,106 ...ck! 1056 00:56:01,232 --> 00:56:03,402 Let's go. 1057 00:56:06,363 --> 00:56:07,363 Go, go, go, go, go! 1058 00:56:09,616 --> 00:56:11,366 Everybody, listen up! 1059 00:56:11,618 --> 00:56:13,698 There is a penis in this cooler! 1060 00:56:13,787 --> 00:56:15,497 Are we in the right place or what? 1061 00:56:15,705 --> 00:56:16,745 Is that the penis? 1062 00:56:16,831 --> 00:56:18,171 - Yes! Yes! - Thank God. Yes. 1063 00:56:18,458 --> 00:56:20,708 Oh! We didn't think you guys were gonna make it. 1064 00:56:21,378 --> 00:56:23,548 The penis is here! 1065 00:56:23,838 --> 00:56:26,628 Page the anesthesiologist. I want to get into surgery immediately. 1066 00:56:26,716 --> 00:56:28,546 - Yes! - Hey! 1067 00:56:30,720 --> 00:56:31,810 You guys did good. 1068 00:56:32,680 --> 00:56:34,600 Ooh! Also, it got bit by a snake. 1069 00:56:34,891 --> 00:56:37,981 I sucked it pretty good, but you should still check for venom. 1070 00:56:41,731 --> 00:56:42,731 Prep the OR! 1071 00:56:42,816 --> 00:56:43,896 Goddamn hero. 1072 00:56:44,359 --> 00:56:47,149 Yes! 1073 00:56:47,237 --> 00:56:49,527 - Yes! Oh, God. - Ow! Oh, ow! 1074 00:56:49,614 --> 00:56:52,084 - Someone's thumb went in my hole. - You okay? 1075 00:57:00,834 --> 00:57:03,174 You can scoot closer. 1076 00:57:04,129 --> 00:57:05,959 You're kind of far away. 1077 00:57:06,047 --> 00:57:07,257 Yeah. 1078 00:57:11,970 --> 00:57:14,140 Hey, thank you for your shirt, also, by the way. 1079 00:57:14,222 --> 00:57:15,562 Oh, yeah, no problem. 1080 00:57:15,640 --> 00:57:18,390 - It's comfortable. It smells good. - Looks great on you. 1081 00:57:18,476 --> 00:57:19,476 Thanks. 1082 00:57:27,193 --> 00:57:29,283 Hey, um, you know what? Uh... 1083 00:57:30,864 --> 00:57:34,244 Remember at the Rent cast party? 1084 00:57:35,618 --> 00:57:39,328 - Mm-hmm? - I actually had a crush on you, too. 1085 00:57:46,838 --> 00:57:47,838 You... you did? 1086 00:57:49,424 --> 00:57:50,424 Yeah. 1087 00:57:50,884 --> 00:57:53,474 Yeah, also momentarily. 1088 00:57:54,804 --> 00:57:55,974 - Um... - Right. 1089 00:57:56,848 --> 00:57:57,848 Yeah, I mean... 1090 00:57:58,391 --> 00:57:59,481 I don't know. 1091 00:58:05,815 --> 00:58:07,355 Wow, the Fuck King? 1092 00:58:08,485 --> 00:58:11,145 The Fuck... Are you the Fuck King? 1093 00:58:11,821 --> 00:58:14,071 Uh, no, that's not me. I'm not the Fuck King. 1094 00:58:14,574 --> 00:58:16,584 - Just a fuck prince. - I wouldn't even... 1095 00:58:16,993 --> 00:58:18,413 I think I'm more of a jester. 1096 00:58:18,495 --> 00:58:19,695 - You're a fuck jester. - Yeah. 1097 00:58:20,038 --> 00:58:21,288 That's... that's more fun. 1098 00:58:21,789 --> 00:58:24,419 You wanted to use it at the hospital here? 1099 00:58:24,959 --> 00:58:26,339 Well... Um... 1100 00:58:28,922 --> 00:58:32,722 Jeremy actually gave it to me to use with you. 1101 00:58:33,593 --> 00:58:36,183 - And I said, "That's crazy." - That's really weird. 1102 00:58:36,262 --> 00:58:38,682 - I'm on the same page. It's weird. - I'm his sister. 1103 00:58:38,765 --> 00:58:40,095 So it's not really mine. 1104 00:58:40,183 --> 00:58:42,273 - Ew! Ew! - I know! I know! 1105 00:58:42,977 --> 00:58:44,227 - Why? - Yeah. 1106 00:58:44,395 --> 00:58:46,475 - The Fuck King? Come on. - I know. It's weird. 1107 00:58:46,940 --> 00:58:50,280 I mean, it's not like you still have a crush on me. 1108 00:58:53,696 --> 00:58:54,976 Do you still have a crush on me? 1109 00:58:58,493 --> 00:58:59,663 - Excuse me. - Wha... 1110 00:58:59,744 --> 00:59:01,834 Come with me. The doctor would like to see you. 1111 00:59:01,955 --> 00:59:04,415 - Okay, yeah, great. Let's go. - Yeah, let's go. 1112 00:59:04,499 --> 00:59:07,339 Um... Donnie. Hey. 1113 00:59:08,086 --> 00:59:09,666 The doctor wants to see us. Let's go. 1114 00:59:10,088 --> 00:59:12,008 - Okay. - Were you just... 1115 00:59:12,090 --> 00:59:13,300 God damn. 1116 00:59:15,843 --> 00:59:17,513 - Sean. Let's go. - Yeah. 1117 00:59:18,513 --> 00:59:21,563 Yeah. Yeah, I'm on my... Yeah, I'm on my way. 1118 00:59:23,685 --> 00:59:25,265 - What's your problem? - Nothing. 1119 00:59:25,353 --> 00:59:28,273 I lost something. I can't remember... 1120 00:59:28,815 --> 00:59:29,815 if I... 1121 00:59:30,942 --> 00:59:33,402 - Sean, do you have a boner? - I don't have a boner. 1122 00:59:33,486 --> 00:59:34,986 Just my back hurts, and... 1123 00:59:35,488 --> 00:59:36,488 So... 1124 00:59:36,781 --> 00:59:40,451 basically every time you touch Sean, he gets a raging bonie. 1125 00:59:42,328 --> 00:59:44,908 See? I told you. You give him boners. 1126 00:59:44,998 --> 00:59:45,998 What? 1127 00:59:47,125 --> 00:59:48,245 I don't have a bonie. 1128 00:59:51,629 --> 00:59:52,629 Did you just fart? 1129 00:59:52,672 --> 00:59:53,672 No, it was the seat. 1130 00:59:53,756 --> 00:59:56,086 Oh, my God. Do you have the farts and a boner? 1131 00:59:56,175 --> 01:00:00,555 - I don't have farts or a boner. - One of those is a lie. 1132 01:00:00,638 --> 01:00:03,928 - Let's... You got it. You got it. - Do you, buddy. 1133 01:00:04,559 --> 01:00:06,189 - Thank you. - Shocking, man. 1134 01:00:06,352 --> 01:00:07,352 Thanks. 1135 01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:21,950 Good news. Surgery went perfectly. 1136 01:00:22,035 --> 01:00:23,325 Oh, my God. 1137 01:00:23,411 --> 01:00:25,001 Well, not perfectly. 1138 01:00:25,079 --> 01:00:26,869 But as good as we could have hoped. 1139 01:00:27,165 --> 01:00:30,335 We have a successful reattachment, and your friend's gonna be fine. 1140 01:00:30,960 --> 01:00:32,710 What about the snake venom? 1141 01:00:33,087 --> 01:00:34,417 There was no venom in the penis. 1142 01:00:34,964 --> 01:00:36,674 Yeah, man. You sucked that shit out. 1143 01:00:36,758 --> 01:00:38,758 No. 1144 01:00:38,843 --> 01:00:41,933 - There was never any venom in the penis. - Huh? 1145 01:00:42,096 --> 01:00:44,386 It's impossible to suck venom out of a bite wound. 1146 01:00:45,475 --> 01:00:46,725 It was a defensive bite. 1147 01:00:47,060 --> 01:00:48,060 Whatever, man. 1148 01:00:48,144 --> 01:00:50,774 - Don't listen. He doesn't know shit. - Yeah. 1149 01:00:50,855 --> 01:00:52,395 Right. I'm just a doctor. 1150 01:00:52,940 --> 01:00:56,490 Anyway, your friend whose dick you sucked for no reason 1151 01:00:56,569 --> 01:00:59,859 is gonna be under a bit longer, but you can go in and see him. 1152 01:00:59,947 --> 01:01:02,367 Sure he'd love to wake up to some friendly faces. 1153 01:01:04,077 --> 01:01:05,077 Salty. 1154 01:01:09,040 --> 01:01:10,040 Here we go. All right. 1155 01:01:11,584 --> 01:01:12,924 Let's do it. 1156 01:01:24,806 --> 01:01:25,926 Who's this? 1157 01:01:28,476 --> 01:01:30,306 Um, hi, excuse me. Nurse. 1158 01:01:30,436 --> 01:01:33,976 The doctor told us the wrong room. We're looking for Jeremy Abelar. 1159 01:01:34,190 --> 01:01:36,400 Jeremy... Abelar. 1160 01:01:37,402 --> 01:01:40,112 No, we don't have a Jeremy Abelar in recovery. 1161 01:01:40,196 --> 01:01:43,236 The doctor told us that he transferred from surgery. 1162 01:01:43,324 --> 01:01:46,124 Let's make this simpler. It's the guy that got his wiener reattached. 1163 01:01:46,202 --> 01:01:48,582 Yeah. That's him. Reginald Knudson. 1164 01:01:48,955 --> 01:01:51,115 - No, no, no. - The other person for a severed penis. 1165 01:01:51,207 --> 01:01:52,207 Yeah. 1166 01:01:53,084 --> 01:01:57,094 If there was somebody else here with a severed penis, trust me, I'd know. 1167 01:01:57,171 --> 01:01:58,341 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 1168 01:01:58,423 --> 01:02:02,143 If... if Jeremy's not here, then... 1169 01:02:02,844 --> 01:02:05,144 We gave someone else Jeremy's penis. 1170 01:02:05,722 --> 01:02:06,722 What? 1171 01:02:07,598 --> 01:02:08,928 That's our friend's dick? 1172 01:02:09,434 --> 01:02:10,694 That's our friend's dick. 1173 01:02:10,768 --> 01:02:13,398 - That's our friend's dick! Oh, my God. - That right? 1174 01:02:13,479 --> 01:02:15,569 - What kind of fucking hospital is this? - Security! 1175 01:02:18,192 --> 01:02:20,242 You have my friend's penis. 1176 01:02:20,319 --> 01:02:22,659 Hang on for one second. It's a simple mistake. 1177 01:02:22,739 --> 01:02:25,869 It's an honest mistake, I'm sure. But you guys have the wrong penis, okay? 1178 01:02:25,950 --> 01:02:27,620 You have the wrong penis and... 1179 01:02:28,995 --> 01:02:31,575 You all saw that! You're witnesses! 1180 01:02:31,748 --> 01:02:33,168 - Are you okay? - That's a felony! 1181 01:02:33,249 --> 01:02:36,089 All right, we need to figure out if there's a head of the hospital 1182 01:02:36,169 --> 01:02:38,379 and explain the situation and see if... 1183 01:02:38,463 --> 01:02:41,093 And what? They'll just grow him another dick 1184 01:02:41,174 --> 01:02:42,934 with their magic dick-making machine? 1185 01:02:44,343 --> 01:02:47,683 - I'm not just gonna give up. - You have no idea where Jeremy is. 1186 01:02:48,347 --> 01:02:49,597 It's pretty obvious we're done. 1187 01:02:49,682 --> 01:02:50,732 That's awesome, Donnie. 1188 01:02:50,808 --> 01:02:53,188 Sarah, I'm sorry. Can you tell your boyfriend or whatever 1189 01:02:53,269 --> 01:02:55,609 to stop throwing a little baby boy tantrum right now. 1190 01:02:57,148 --> 01:02:59,938 Maybe I should be more like you. Right? Manipulate things. 1191 01:03:00,026 --> 01:03:03,646 Make 'em go my way. Like what you did with the medevac. 1192 01:03:04,030 --> 01:03:06,070 - Shut the fuck up. - What are you talking about? 1193 01:03:06,199 --> 01:03:09,659 Uh, while your brother was lying there, maybe about to die, uh... 1194 01:03:10,411 --> 01:03:13,541 Sean was pretending to be you and texting Chad from your phone. 1195 01:03:14,999 --> 01:03:15,999 Sean. 1196 01:03:16,542 --> 01:03:17,882 Sea... Sean? 1197 01:03:18,586 --> 01:03:19,796 Are you serious? 1198 01:03:20,296 --> 01:03:23,256 - You... - It was... It was an accident. I was... 1199 01:03:23,341 --> 01:03:25,971 How is texting my boyfriend as me an accident? 1200 01:03:26,052 --> 01:03:27,732 You guys weren't even technically together. 1201 01:03:27,804 --> 01:03:30,394 What? What? What did you say? What did you say to him? 1202 01:03:31,599 --> 01:03:35,019 I said, "Fuck you. We're done." And then I called him "dirty taint." 1203 01:03:36,646 --> 01:03:37,476 Wow. 1204 01:03:37,563 --> 01:03:39,573 - Yeah. - Um, okay. 1205 01:03:39,774 --> 01:03:41,534 The... the voicemail? 1206 01:03:43,110 --> 01:03:45,200 The voicemail he sent me. 1207 01:03:46,447 --> 01:03:49,277 I, um... I need to... I need to go. 1208 01:03:50,076 --> 01:03:52,826 - I'm sorry. I need to borrow your phone. - No. What the hell? 1209 01:03:52,912 --> 01:03:54,712 You do not want to fuck with me right now! 1210 01:03:56,582 --> 01:03:58,962 Just messaging Chad and telling him to pick me up. 1211 01:03:59,043 --> 01:04:00,383 Becky... 1212 01:04:04,674 --> 01:04:06,224 Of course, he's online. Okay. 1213 01:04:06,300 --> 01:04:07,890 He's coming to pick me up. 1214 01:04:08,302 --> 01:04:09,302 Thank you. 1215 01:04:09,929 --> 01:04:10,929 Sarah, let's go. 1216 01:04:18,312 --> 01:04:21,482 Becky! Becky! 1217 01:04:21,566 --> 01:04:22,606 Becky. 1218 01:04:24,652 --> 01:04:26,322 Use the twin connection. 1219 01:04:27,530 --> 01:04:28,530 Find me. 1220 01:04:28,823 --> 01:04:32,243 If you can hear me, please hurry up and come and save me. 1221 01:04:33,369 --> 01:04:34,199 Becky! 1222 01:04:34,287 --> 01:04:36,497 Nope, it's me Darlene. Hello. 1223 01:04:36,622 --> 01:04:38,372 Um, so... 1224 01:04:38,457 --> 01:04:40,417 we got you an operating room. 1225 01:04:40,501 --> 01:04:41,671 I'm telling you, lady. 1226 01:04:42,003 --> 01:04:43,173 My friends are close. 1227 01:04:43,504 --> 01:04:45,884 And I'm telling you, it doesn't matter if they're close. 1228 01:04:45,965 --> 01:04:50,845 By now, unless your penis somehow got fresh, oxygenated blood in it, 1229 01:04:52,430 --> 01:04:53,430 it's dead. 1230 01:04:53,598 --> 01:04:57,558 No, no, no, no! Don't. 1231 01:04:57,643 --> 01:04:58,643 Oh, my God. 1232 01:04:59,103 --> 01:05:02,823 There's no point in waiting any longer for trash to arrive. 1233 01:05:03,190 --> 01:05:05,360 Okay, fine. 1234 01:05:06,319 --> 01:05:07,779 Let's do the butt-skin dick. 1235 01:05:07,862 --> 01:05:09,912 A graft is no longer an option. 1236 01:05:09,989 --> 01:05:11,529 - What? - Do you smell that? 1237 01:05:11,616 --> 01:05:14,326 You know we don't serve blue cheese in the cafeteria, right? 1238 01:05:14,410 --> 01:05:15,490 That... that is... 1239 01:05:16,245 --> 01:05:17,285 That's your hole. 1240 01:05:17,830 --> 01:05:18,830 I'm sorry. 1241 01:05:19,832 --> 01:05:22,042 The anesthesiologist will be in shortly. 1242 01:05:26,172 --> 01:05:27,922 Wow. So this is really happening. 1243 01:05:32,094 --> 01:05:34,054 I can't believe I shat on your chances with Becky. 1244 01:05:34,138 --> 01:05:37,728 Yeah, it's my own fault. I'm a fucking idiot. 1245 01:05:38,142 --> 01:05:39,352 Uh, no. 1246 01:05:40,561 --> 01:05:44,571 Also, I'm really sorry I started the rumor about you going to rehab for bath salts. 1247 01:05:45,066 --> 01:05:46,066 What? That was you? 1248 01:05:46,192 --> 01:05:49,202 I feel like we both now know I have problems with abandonment. 1249 01:05:49,278 --> 01:05:50,438 - Yep. - I can't believe 1250 01:05:50,488 --> 01:05:52,158 I found a dick in the sewer. 1251 01:05:52,448 --> 01:05:55,528 Believe it, young'un. You just got your dick cherry popped. 1252 01:05:55,618 --> 01:05:56,828 Gonna need a new cooler. 1253 01:05:57,703 --> 01:05:58,863 - Fuck. - Dude. 1254 01:05:58,913 --> 01:06:02,213 - Yo. Yo, yo, yo. - They have the redneck's dick. 1255 01:06:02,875 --> 01:06:03,875 If... 1256 01:06:04,710 --> 01:06:06,300 we can get it to the doctor... 1257 01:06:07,088 --> 01:06:11,508 then the doctor can reattach it and we can get Jeremy's penis back. 1258 01:06:11,842 --> 01:06:13,522 We haven't been good friends to each other. 1259 01:06:13,552 --> 01:06:15,852 - I feel like I've been a good friend... - But... 1260 01:06:15,972 --> 01:06:17,812 we can be best friends for Jeremy. 1261 01:06:18,724 --> 01:06:19,724 Let's do it. 1262 01:06:31,696 --> 01:06:32,696 Hey, man. 1263 01:06:33,280 --> 01:06:34,410 Who the hell are you? 1264 01:06:35,324 --> 01:06:37,954 - I said no visitors. - Uh, I'm really sorry. 1265 01:06:38,369 --> 01:06:40,789 There's something that you should know about... 1266 01:06:41,747 --> 01:06:42,867 your penis. 1267 01:06:43,207 --> 01:06:45,707 Er, I mean, it's not your penis... 1268 01:06:46,293 --> 01:06:48,173 You have our friend Jeremy's penis. 1269 01:06:48,838 --> 01:06:50,278 What the hell are you talking about? 1270 01:06:50,339 --> 01:06:52,839 - They put our friend's penis on you. - Yes, they did. 1271 01:06:53,968 --> 01:06:57,048 Like, not like when I was out, they put your friend's dick on my face... 1272 01:06:57,179 --> 01:07:00,179 I don't know, maybe that happened. But then they sewed it on you. 1273 01:07:03,352 --> 01:07:06,482 You're gonna see right away it's our friend Jeremy's penis. 1274 01:07:07,231 --> 01:07:09,611 Oh, my God. 1275 01:07:10,401 --> 01:07:11,401 That is not my dick. 1276 01:07:11,485 --> 01:07:13,235 That's not your dick. It's what I said. 1277 01:07:13,320 --> 01:07:15,910 Why? Why? Why is it so ugly? 1278 01:07:15,990 --> 01:07:17,530 - Yeah. - Oh, my God. 1279 01:07:17,867 --> 01:07:20,117 Where did they find this? A little Navajo boy? 1280 01:07:20,202 --> 01:07:21,452 It's a normal-looking dick. 1281 01:07:21,537 --> 01:07:23,577 Once the swelling goes down, it's gonna get smaller? 1282 01:07:23,664 --> 01:07:26,884 Are you fucking kidding me? How am I supposed to work with this? 1283 01:07:27,668 --> 01:07:30,708 Ugh. You two again? Hey! Am I gonna have to call security? 1284 01:07:30,796 --> 01:07:32,626 Oh, hey, it's Dr. Malpractice. 1285 01:07:32,757 --> 01:07:35,297 Guess what? You sewed the wrong dick onto the wrong body. 1286 01:07:35,384 --> 01:07:37,764 If you don't want us to fuck your world up, you listen. 1287 01:07:37,845 --> 01:07:41,135 Two water sanitation workers just came into the hospital with his dick. 1288 01:07:41,432 --> 01:07:43,352 - What? My real penis is here? - Yeah, man. 1289 01:07:43,434 --> 01:07:45,564 What we need you to do is reattach 'em. 1290 01:07:45,895 --> 01:07:49,765 Guys... You don't just pop 'em on and off. 1291 01:07:49,857 --> 01:07:51,607 It's a delicate operation. 1292 01:07:52,109 --> 01:07:53,489 It's not a fucking LEGO set. 1293 01:07:54,070 --> 01:07:56,320 That dick is staying on that body. 1294 01:07:56,906 --> 01:07:59,616 Are you trying to tell me that I'm stuck with this... 1295 01:08:00,785 --> 01:08:02,615 - this thing? - Hey, man. 1296 01:08:03,037 --> 01:08:04,037 That thing... 1297 01:08:04,663 --> 01:08:05,793 that fucking thing... 1298 01:08:06,624 --> 01:08:09,504 belonged to a goddamn majestic person. 1299 01:08:09,877 --> 01:08:11,337 And you need to respect 1300 01:08:11,420 --> 01:08:14,630 that you got a part of my friend on you now forever. 1301 01:08:15,424 --> 01:08:17,054 Okay? You got a piece of Jeremy. 1302 01:08:17,510 --> 01:08:18,640 It's a good dick. 1303 01:08:20,596 --> 01:08:22,466 You need to honor that penis. 1304 01:08:22,556 --> 01:08:26,686 And bring it as much joy as Jeremy brings us 1305 01:08:26,769 --> 01:08:28,689 every time you take it out. 1306 01:08:28,771 --> 01:08:31,271 Because it belonged to a great dude. 1307 01:08:31,357 --> 01:08:32,357 The best. 1308 01:08:33,484 --> 01:08:35,904 You guys seem like some really good friends. 1309 01:08:37,947 --> 01:08:39,627 I wish I would have listened to my buddies 1310 01:08:39,698 --> 01:08:42,328 when they told me that Cheryl was a psycho bitch. 1311 01:08:42,701 --> 01:08:44,101 Never would have let her tie me up. 1312 01:08:44,453 --> 01:08:46,413 I thought she just wanted to get freaky. 1313 01:08:46,497 --> 01:08:49,207 - Maybe do some butt stuff. - That's awesome. 1314 01:08:49,291 --> 01:08:50,501 Anything goes, you know? 1315 01:08:51,252 --> 01:08:54,632 She put on her sexy little Juicy Cooter slip. 1316 01:08:57,007 --> 01:08:58,587 Got my rod all hard. 1317 01:08:58,676 --> 01:08:59,586 Cool. 1318 01:08:59,677 --> 01:09:02,387 She started licking all up in my ear, you know. 1319 01:09:03,013 --> 01:09:05,393 Saying sexy sweet nothings and whatnot. 1320 01:09:05,766 --> 01:09:07,766 And she leans in and she whispers... 1321 01:09:09,311 --> 01:09:11,561 "I know about you and my sister." 1322 01:09:14,108 --> 01:09:16,938 Yeah, and then she whips out a pair of scissors... and bam! 1323 01:09:17,736 --> 01:09:19,816 She snips my dick clean off. 1324 01:09:19,905 --> 01:09:21,565 - Yep. - And then she flushed it. 1325 01:09:21,866 --> 01:09:24,486 She flushed my pee-pee like a poo-poo. 1326 01:09:24,577 --> 01:09:27,247 She sounds like one bag of trash. 1327 01:09:27,329 --> 01:09:28,329 Yep. 1328 01:09:28,831 --> 01:09:30,331 You know what the craziest part is? 1329 01:09:33,586 --> 01:09:34,666 I still love her. 1330 01:09:35,379 --> 01:09:36,379 There it is. 1331 01:09:36,797 --> 01:09:39,587 You know, I know it's just a dirty toilet dick but, doctor... 1332 01:09:41,218 --> 01:09:44,718 I'd like to give these two young men my old penis. 1333 01:09:45,723 --> 01:09:47,893 - That's awesome. - You know, that might work. 1334 01:09:47,975 --> 01:09:49,685 Yeah. Because... 1335 01:09:51,061 --> 01:09:54,651 everybody deserves a second chance. 1336 01:09:54,773 --> 01:09:56,733 Even me? 1337 01:09:58,485 --> 01:09:59,485 Cheryl. 1338 01:10:00,487 --> 01:10:03,237 Oh, baby. I'm sorry, baby. 1339 01:10:03,824 --> 01:10:05,244 Baby, I'm so sorry. 1340 01:10:05,326 --> 01:10:08,196 No, baby, I'm sorry. I don't know what I was doing. 1341 01:10:08,287 --> 01:10:10,787 I don't know what I was thinking. 1342 01:10:10,873 --> 01:10:15,753 I just went in. I... I grabbed 'em and I snipped it. 1343 01:10:15,836 --> 01:10:18,836 You got through it real easy, too. I was surprised. 1344 01:10:18,923 --> 01:10:20,473 Can you ever forgive me? 1345 01:10:20,549 --> 01:10:22,929 If I could suck it back on, I would. 1346 01:10:23,010 --> 01:10:25,510 I know it was the drugs. I know it was the drugs. 1347 01:10:25,596 --> 01:10:27,216 You know it was the drugs. 1348 01:10:27,306 --> 01:10:28,716 - Baby. - Yeah? 1349 01:10:28,807 --> 01:10:31,847 - And how about a little kiss? - Yeah, okay. 1350 01:10:32,519 --> 01:10:34,519 That feels good. Little kisses of an angel. 1351 01:10:34,605 --> 01:10:37,395 - Yeah. It's okay. - Oh, my God. 1352 01:10:38,234 --> 01:10:41,284 - Baby. Oh, I love you so much. - I love you so much. 1353 01:10:41,362 --> 01:10:42,452 - Let's go. - Oh, Jesus. 1354 01:10:42,529 --> 01:10:45,529 - You're my king. - The scepter has been repaired. 1355 01:10:45,616 --> 01:10:47,856 When's little Reggie gonna be ready for me to... 1356 01:10:47,910 --> 01:10:50,040 Hey, guys! Guys, guys! Look... 1357 01:10:51,080 --> 01:10:53,620 I think they can attach Reginald's penis to your friend. 1358 01:10:54,083 --> 01:10:57,423 Okay? It's in the cold storage. One floor up, end of the hall. 1359 01:10:57,920 --> 01:10:59,000 Take my key card. 1360 01:10:59,672 --> 01:11:01,882 - Why aren't you coming? - "Why aren't you coming?" 1361 01:11:01,966 --> 01:11:05,046 How about I don't want to get sued? If they ask, I'll tell them you stole it. 1362 01:11:05,135 --> 01:11:07,425 Wow. That's so great of you. You're so nice. 1363 01:11:07,513 --> 01:11:09,313 Oh! 1364 01:11:09,390 --> 01:11:10,220 Oh, Scheiße! 1365 01:11:10,307 --> 01:11:11,807 What the fuck did you do that for? 1366 01:11:11,892 --> 01:11:15,892 So they believe we stole the key card. I don't know. I have a super fucking sensitive nose, you guys. 1367 01:11:17,398 --> 01:11:20,228 Why? Why? 1368 01:11:20,317 --> 01:11:21,987 Oh, my God! 1369 01:11:22,361 --> 01:11:24,451 - Holy shi... - Oh, my God! 1370 01:11:24,530 --> 01:11:25,360 She cut it off again! 1371 01:11:25,447 --> 01:11:29,827 I did, 'cause you don't deserve no cock, you cheating son of a bitch. 1372 01:11:29,910 --> 01:11:32,290 Oh, you fucking crazy ho bag! 1373 01:11:32,371 --> 01:11:34,581 - Whoa, whoa, whoa! We need that! - It's my cock! 1374 01:11:34,707 --> 01:11:36,077 It's my dick. 1375 01:11:40,796 --> 01:11:42,336 - Jesus! - Oh! 1376 01:11:42,423 --> 01:11:44,473 You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna cut it up 1377 01:11:44,550 --> 01:11:46,720 like a little three-year-old's lunch. 1378 01:11:46,802 --> 01:11:49,852 - She will do it. Trust me. - I'll do it. I'm crazy! 1379 01:11:49,930 --> 01:11:51,610 Oh! You're crazy, lady! 1380 01:11:53,934 --> 01:11:55,524 Ow! Where'd she go? 1381 01:11:55,602 --> 01:11:57,652 Where is she? 1382 01:11:57,730 --> 01:11:59,020 Oh, my God. 1383 01:12:00,107 --> 01:12:01,727 - Oh, fuck! - What the fuck? 1384 01:12:01,817 --> 01:12:05,527 I don't care how many times you reattach it, Reggie. 1385 01:12:05,904 --> 01:12:08,954 I'm gonna find you, I'm gonna cut it off, 1386 01:12:09,033 --> 01:12:12,543 and I'm gonna flush it every time. 1387 01:12:12,619 --> 01:12:14,806 - Don't you dare. - Get it, Donnie! Get it, Donnie! 1388 01:12:14,830 --> 01:12:16,080 She'll do it. 1389 01:12:16,165 --> 01:12:19,495 Cheryl, give me that. 1390 01:12:24,423 --> 01:12:26,683 Oh! 1391 01:12:28,302 --> 01:12:30,932 Blow it down! Blow the dick down. 1392 01:12:32,681 --> 01:12:33,891 I got you now. 1393 01:12:35,309 --> 01:12:38,479 Whoa! Whoa! 1394 01:12:38,562 --> 01:12:40,272 - Wait a minute, baby! - What? 1395 01:12:40,356 --> 01:12:41,686 I love you. 1396 01:12:42,191 --> 01:12:45,901 I love you too, Reggie. Why do you think I'm doing all this? 1397 01:12:46,111 --> 01:12:47,321 Security! 1398 01:12:48,989 --> 01:12:51,529 - Mission accomplished, bitch! - God damn it! 1399 01:12:51,617 --> 01:12:53,117 Oh! 1400 01:12:55,913 --> 01:12:58,123 It was just supposed to be camping. 1401 01:13:00,667 --> 01:13:02,747 - Oh, fuck. - I'm gonna pick it up. 1402 01:13:03,921 --> 01:13:06,341 I'm gonna flip it like dog poop. 1403 01:13:09,843 --> 01:13:12,853 Well, boys, I guess you get your wish. You got your friend's dick back. 1404 01:13:12,930 --> 01:13:14,970 Thanks! Let's go. Come on. 1405 01:13:15,057 --> 01:13:16,307 Good luck, boys! 1406 01:13:17,059 --> 01:13:18,059 Oh, shit. 1407 01:13:21,105 --> 01:13:22,105 You okay? 1408 01:13:25,734 --> 01:13:28,244 - Oh, hey, it's the girls. It's the girls. - What? 1409 01:13:31,240 --> 01:13:32,240 Hey. What's going on? 1410 01:13:34,618 --> 01:13:36,868 We... we have Jeremy's penis. 1411 01:13:36,954 --> 01:13:38,834 Thought it got sewn on to that other guy. 1412 01:13:39,123 --> 01:13:40,793 - Oh, it... It did. - Well, yeah. 1413 01:13:48,298 --> 01:13:49,298 'Sup, babe? 1414 01:13:49,341 --> 01:13:50,721 It's fucking Chad. 1415 01:13:59,518 --> 01:14:02,188 Here. Take... take it. 1416 01:14:04,356 --> 01:14:08,476 I know you're done with me, but the receptionist said there are five other hospitals Jeremy could be in. 1417 01:14:08,527 --> 01:14:12,867 We're gonna drive around and call around and see if we can find out where he is. 1418 01:14:12,948 --> 01:14:15,368 And if we figure it out before you... 1419 01:14:16,118 --> 01:14:19,538 I will text you. I'll text... Chad. 1420 01:14:20,789 --> 01:14:22,419 As me this time, not as you. 1421 01:14:25,043 --> 01:14:26,173 Do it. 1422 01:14:26,837 --> 01:14:30,217 You know what, I am really sorry that I sent that text. 1423 01:14:30,382 --> 01:14:32,552 But you deserve to be with somebody who respects you. 1424 01:14:36,013 --> 01:14:37,313 Not somebody who cheats on you. 1425 01:14:40,726 --> 01:14:43,266 You're amazing, and I really like you. 1426 01:14:43,729 --> 01:14:44,939 And I've always liked you. 1427 01:14:45,481 --> 01:14:48,691 And not... always... I haven't... 1428 01:14:48,901 --> 01:14:51,321 I don't, like, like you like a lot. Like a lot, a lot. 1429 01:14:51,403 --> 01:14:53,913 I just think you're cool, and I think you think I'm cool, 1430 01:14:53,989 --> 01:14:56,869 and that we're cool together. And it's cool that we... 1431 01:14:56,950 --> 01:14:58,620 have this thing and... 1432 01:14:58,911 --> 01:15:01,371 You know, I am not trying to make... 1433 01:15:08,086 --> 01:15:10,456 God. Oh, no, no, no, no. No. No, no, no. 1434 01:15:10,547 --> 01:15:12,757 Don't worry, I put it in a baggie like dog shit. 1435 01:15:13,217 --> 01:15:14,677 It's still pretty gross. 1436 01:15:14,760 --> 01:15:16,470 - Ugh. - Sorry. 1437 01:15:18,889 --> 01:15:19,889 Ugh. 1438 01:15:22,768 --> 01:15:25,768 Anyway, I'm really sorry about everything and... 1439 01:15:27,898 --> 01:15:29,148 I hope that you can forgive me. 1440 01:15:30,067 --> 01:15:32,397 Yeah. 1441 01:15:36,865 --> 01:15:39,325 - Come on down, babe. Let's go. - Great. 1442 01:15:39,785 --> 01:15:40,785 One sec. 1443 01:15:41,787 --> 01:15:43,747 Why the fuck did I message Chad? 1444 01:15:45,666 --> 01:15:46,666 Come on. Let's go. 1445 01:15:47,918 --> 01:15:50,248 We're going to save Jeremy. 1446 01:15:52,881 --> 01:15:54,221 You guys coming or... 1447 01:15:54,841 --> 01:15:57,841 What? So, my speech was good? 1448 01:15:58,262 --> 01:15:59,262 No. 1449 01:15:59,596 --> 01:16:02,266 But, hey, I think I got what you were trying to say. 1450 01:16:02,599 --> 01:16:06,139 You messed up. You're sorry. I deserve respect. 1451 01:16:06,562 --> 01:16:07,732 We like each other. 1452 01:16:08,772 --> 01:16:09,822 Yeah. 1453 01:16:10,148 --> 01:16:11,148 I got it. 1454 01:16:12,442 --> 01:16:15,952 - Cool. - Let's go get Jeremy his dick back. 1455 01:16:16,029 --> 01:16:18,239 - Yeah! - Whoo! 1456 01:16:20,075 --> 01:16:22,905 - 'Sup, babe? - Sorry, Chad, we're broken up. Bye. 1457 01:16:22,995 --> 01:16:25,785 - 'Sup, Chad? - What the fuck? Are you serious? 1458 01:16:25,872 --> 01:16:27,332 I drove all the way out here! 1459 01:16:27,666 --> 01:16:28,916 Your loss, Becky. 1460 01:16:29,001 --> 01:16:32,251 I even got a fake ID so we could drink margaritas in Cancun. 1461 01:16:33,297 --> 01:16:35,257 - Wait. Holy shit. Stop the car. - What? 1462 01:16:35,340 --> 01:16:36,880 - What? - Stop the car. Stop. 1463 01:16:36,967 --> 01:16:38,717 - I know how to find Jeremy. - How? 1464 01:16:38,844 --> 01:16:41,072 Jeremy bought us booze on the drive out to the mountains. 1465 01:16:41,096 --> 01:16:42,096 So, what? 1466 01:16:42,139 --> 01:16:45,099 The military ID was the one in his wallet. His fake! 1467 01:16:45,183 --> 01:16:48,983 Oh! The hospital admitted him under the name on his fake ID. 1468 01:16:49,062 --> 01:16:52,232 Jack motherfucking Jessop! 1469 01:16:52,316 --> 01:16:53,476 What the fuck? 1470 01:16:53,567 --> 01:16:55,207 - Holy shit. - I'm calling it in. 1471 01:16:55,277 --> 01:16:59,997 - Which hospital? You said there were five. - East General. The first place. - East General Hospital? 1472 01:17:01,283 --> 01:17:05,583 Hi, can you connect us to Jack Jessop, please? 1473 01:17:05,704 --> 01:17:06,704 One moment. 1474 01:17:13,295 --> 01:17:14,755 And connecting you now. 1475 01:17:14,838 --> 01:17:17,218 - Yes. - Yes! No, yes! 1476 01:17:19,885 --> 01:17:21,135 Just relax. 1477 01:17:22,179 --> 01:17:23,639 And count back from 100. 1478 01:17:23,722 --> 01:17:25,972 We'll be back shortly to take you into the OR. 1479 01:17:34,733 --> 01:17:37,193 - Hello? - Jeremy! 1480 01:17:37,277 --> 01:17:38,147 Jeremy! 1481 01:17:38,236 --> 01:17:40,776 Becky, where are you guys? They're trying to sew up my nub. 1482 01:17:40,864 --> 01:17:43,624 No, no, no! Tell them no. We're gonna be there soon, okay? 1483 01:17:43,700 --> 01:17:45,200 Please tell me you have my pee-pee. 1484 01:17:45,285 --> 01:17:46,405 We have it! 1485 01:17:46,495 --> 01:17:49,205 - Yes. - Please, I just want my pee-pee back. 1486 01:17:49,289 --> 01:17:52,039 - Stop calling it your pee-pee. - The doctor, Becky. 1487 01:17:52,793 --> 01:17:54,543 He said it's too late. 1488 01:17:55,045 --> 01:17:58,465 They pumped me with a lot of drugs, and now they're taking me to surgery. 1489 01:17:58,548 --> 01:18:00,548 - Ooh, no, no, no, no, no. - No, no, no, no, no. 1490 01:18:00,634 --> 01:18:01,644 Don't. Hold off. 1491 01:18:01,718 --> 01:18:04,508 - Nurse. Nurse. - We're gonna be there really soon. 1492 01:18:04,596 --> 01:18:07,346 - Do not let them take you into surgery. - Hi, Grandpa. 1493 01:18:09,309 --> 01:18:10,809 - Oh, shit. - We gotta go. 1494 01:18:11,478 --> 01:18:13,308 - Yeah, we gotta. - We gotta go. We gotta go. 1495 01:18:16,274 --> 01:18:20,704 Oh! He is out. Let's get him into surgery. 1496 01:18:21,780 --> 01:18:23,530 Say night-night to The Danish Girl. 1497 01:18:31,707 --> 01:18:32,707 Let's go! 1498 01:18:34,167 --> 01:18:35,167 Come on! 1499 01:19:09,077 --> 01:19:10,367 No! 1500 01:19:31,641 --> 01:19:35,651 Hey, stop those kids! 1501 01:19:47,073 --> 01:19:50,913 Crash the boards! 1502 01:20:00,796 --> 01:20:01,836 Yes! 1503 01:20:22,359 --> 01:20:28,489 Stop! Stop the surgery! I have the dick! 1504 01:20:36,206 --> 01:20:37,206 Oh, shit. 1505 01:20:40,752 --> 01:20:43,262 Um, excuse me? 1506 01:20:47,551 --> 01:20:48,971 I think this belongs to him. 1507 01:20:59,271 --> 01:21:03,611 Look, I'm really sorry that I freaked out when you tried to ask what our deal was. 1508 01:21:07,445 --> 01:21:09,805 But if you're still interested, maybe we could DTR sometime. 1509 01:21:09,865 --> 01:21:10,865 Yes. 1510 01:21:11,783 --> 01:21:13,373 What? Yeah. No, yeah. 1511 01:21:13,451 --> 01:21:15,451 - That was a really quick answer. - What? 1512 01:21:15,537 --> 01:21:16,537 That'd be cool. 1513 01:21:18,248 --> 01:21:20,498 I can't wait, Sarah. 1514 01:21:23,712 --> 01:21:24,712 Me too, Donnie. 1515 01:21:28,592 --> 01:21:30,892 Just to clarify, we're talking about "dick to rim," 1516 01:21:30,969 --> 01:21:32,759 not "define the relationship," right? 1517 01:21:36,725 --> 01:21:37,725 I'm kidding. 1518 01:21:43,982 --> 01:21:46,742 Well, this is probably my last moment of freedom. 1519 01:21:46,818 --> 01:21:49,028 As I'll be grounded for the rest of my life. 1520 01:21:49,321 --> 01:21:51,361 I'm really sorry your parents are gonna kill you. 1521 01:21:51,448 --> 01:21:52,778 Oh, no. It's fine. 1522 01:21:52,866 --> 01:21:56,156 I mean, the rest of this year is gonna be super boring, anyway. 1523 01:21:56,703 --> 01:21:58,753 Someone I know is going back to Germany. 1524 01:22:07,213 --> 01:22:09,093 - Uh... nope. - Oh. 1525 01:22:09,424 --> 01:22:11,344 Uh, I'm sorry, I just... 1526 01:22:12,302 --> 01:22:15,512 I just remembered that you had my brother's dick in your mouth earlier. 1527 01:22:16,681 --> 01:22:18,221 Uh, so maybe... 1528 01:22:19,351 --> 01:22:20,351 maybe we should wait. 1529 01:22:20,852 --> 01:22:22,022 Okay, yeah. 1530 01:22:22,103 --> 01:22:23,023 That makes sense. 1531 01:22:23,104 --> 01:22:25,234 - Totally makes sense. I'm on board. - Cool. 1532 01:22:30,111 --> 01:22:31,531 - Don't. - Oh. 1533 01:22:31,613 --> 01:22:33,743 - Still got dick lips. - Still... Yeah. 1534 01:22:33,823 --> 01:22:36,083 - Dick mouth. - Yeah. 1535 01:22:37,577 --> 01:22:39,867 - Can you smell the dick? Okay. - No. No, no, no. 1536 01:22:39,955 --> 01:22:41,955 - It's just the image of it. Yeah. - Right. 1537 01:22:58,598 --> 01:23:02,098 - Jesus. What do you have in here? - I got a lot of stuff. I got books. 1538 01:23:02,185 --> 01:23:03,265 Books on what? 1539 01:23:03,353 --> 01:23:06,063 - Books on Germany. - Don't they have those books in Germany? 1540 01:23:06,690 --> 01:23:09,360 - All right, this is it. - Yeah. 1541 01:23:10,568 --> 01:23:12,778 Really think your brother's gonna miss you, bro. 1542 01:23:12,904 --> 01:23:14,744 Yeah, I know what you mean. 1543 01:23:14,781 --> 01:23:16,741 Make it stop! 1544 01:23:16,825 --> 01:23:19,115 - Make it stop! - What the fuck? Seriously? Again? 1545 01:23:19,202 --> 01:23:20,202 - It's so good! - Stop! 1546 01:23:20,662 --> 01:23:23,162 You have to protect your Wi-Fi, Mr. Floyd. 1547 01:23:23,248 --> 01:23:25,498 I don't know how! 1548 01:23:25,583 --> 01:23:28,093 Turn it off, man. 1549 01:23:28,628 --> 01:23:30,208 What? Is this my ride? 1550 01:23:30,296 --> 01:23:32,166 - What? - What is this thing? 1551 01:23:35,677 --> 01:23:37,257 - Hey. - Hey. 1552 01:23:37,971 --> 01:23:39,971 - Ready to go? - Yeah! Oh, yeah. 1553 01:23:40,098 --> 01:23:41,728 Sean, good luck finishing rehab. 1554 01:23:42,267 --> 01:23:43,887 - Ha! - Thank you. 1555 01:23:45,353 --> 01:23:47,393 I know I said I'd drive you to the airport, just us, 1556 01:23:47,439 --> 01:23:49,359 but someone got out of the hospital early. 1557 01:24:01,578 --> 01:24:02,868 What's up? 1558 01:24:03,329 --> 01:24:04,249 Dude! 1559 01:24:04,330 --> 01:24:05,790 - Cool. - That's so sick. 1560 01:24:05,874 --> 01:24:07,004 What's up, dogs? 1561 01:24:07,083 --> 01:24:09,923 Jeremy insisted that our parents rent him 1562 01:24:10,003 --> 01:24:11,923 a wheelchair van. 1563 01:24:12,005 --> 01:24:15,585 It's like we have a dumb Stephen Hawking just rascaling around the house. 1564 01:24:15,675 --> 01:24:17,545 - Heh. - I cut my dick off. 1565 01:24:17,635 --> 01:24:20,095 Fucking pimp, right? I look like Professor X. 1566 01:24:20,263 --> 01:24:21,563 "Scott, you're a chump. 1567 01:24:21,723 --> 01:24:24,433 Logan's been tapping Jean since day one." 1568 01:24:24,809 --> 01:24:26,019 Oh, yeah. 1569 01:24:26,102 --> 01:24:29,692 Hey, Sean, also, don't tell Kendall about S-ing my D. 1570 01:24:29,773 --> 01:24:32,483 She's already pissed she can't be riding this dragon, you feel? 1571 01:24:32,984 --> 01:24:35,114 Right, yeah, she would be pissed if she were real. 1572 01:24:43,745 --> 01:24:45,205 Hey, guys. I'm Kendall. 1573 01:24:45,288 --> 01:24:48,418 Jennersss. 1574 01:24:49,250 --> 01:24:52,000 Thanks for making sure Little J made his way back home. 1575 01:24:52,087 --> 01:24:54,167 - Little J. - Oh, our pleasure. 1576 01:24:54,339 --> 01:24:57,359 - She calls it Little J? Disgusting. - I gotta give you two kisses. 1577 01:24:57,383 --> 01:24:59,553 - Okay. Two more kisses, but just two. - Okay. 1578 01:25:00,804 --> 01:25:03,394 Kendall, I told you just two! You're gonna rip the stitches. 1579 01:25:03,473 --> 01:25:05,183 I'm sorry, I just love you so much. 1580 01:25:05,266 --> 01:25:06,846 Why did you fuck with the ramp? 1581 01:25:06,976 --> 01:25:09,096 You gotta get back in. We're going to the airport. 1582 01:25:09,729 --> 01:25:10,769 Fuck me! All right, yeah. 1583 01:25:10,855 --> 01:25:12,435 - Let's get back in the van. - Come on. 1584 01:25:12,524 --> 01:25:13,824 Nice meeting you guys. 1585 01:25:13,900 --> 01:25:15,650 - Get back in the van. - Let's roll. 1586 01:25:15,735 --> 01:25:17,605 - Okay. - You got this. Come on, babe. 1587 01:25:17,695 --> 01:25:21,405 Bye, Jeremy's girlfriend. Hope you enjoy his Franken-peen when it's healed. 1588 01:25:21,533 --> 01:25:23,373 Franken-peen's funny. 1589 01:25:23,451 --> 01:25:25,331 - Good, right? - Come on. Keep it up. 1590 01:25:25,411 --> 01:25:26,411 I love you, babe. 1591 01:25:26,496 --> 01:25:29,036 - I love you too, babe. - #metoo, babe. 1592 01:25:29,124 --> 01:25:33,714 So, I could drive you to soccer practice if you wanted. 1593 01:25:34,546 --> 01:25:35,546 Yeah. 1594 01:25:35,880 --> 01:25:38,090 Maybe we can stop by the church parking lot on the way. 1595 01:25:38,633 --> 01:25:43,013 Yeah, absolutely. Yes. Yeah. Thank you. Is it weird to say thank you? 1596 01:25:43,096 --> 01:25:45,136 - Little bit. - Yeah, it's strange. 1597 01:25:45,932 --> 01:25:46,932 All right. 1598 01:25:47,308 --> 01:25:48,938 So I wanted to... 1599 01:25:49,310 --> 01:25:50,560 give you something... 1600 01:25:50,645 --> 01:25:54,395 when I dropped you off at the airport, but now we got these two tagging along. 1601 01:25:54,482 --> 01:25:55,482 Ah, bummer. 1602 01:25:55,525 --> 01:25:59,895 Yeah, but what I wanted to give you was, um... 1603 01:26:01,364 --> 01:26:02,454 Give you this. 1604 01:26:03,283 --> 01:26:04,493 Oh. 1605 01:26:04,617 --> 01:26:06,077 The Fuck King. 1606 01:26:06,161 --> 01:26:08,541 What is the Fuck King without his condom crown? 1607 01:26:08,621 --> 01:26:10,541 Wow. Returns. 1608 01:26:10,623 --> 01:26:14,043 - Mm-hmm. - I don't know... I don't know why I... 1609 01:26:14,127 --> 01:26:15,127 Right, yeah. 1610 01:26:20,842 --> 01:26:22,472 Oh, my God. 1611 01:26:23,386 --> 01:26:25,346 You know we can see you, right? 1612 01:26:26,723 --> 01:26:30,143 Yo, Jeremy, Sean's tonguing your sister pretty hard right now. 1613 01:26:30,226 --> 01:26:32,846 What? Hold on. I'm missing it. I'm missing it. Hold up. 1614 01:26:32,937 --> 01:26:34,697 You know he had a dick in his mouth? 1615 01:26:34,772 --> 01:26:37,152 Yeah, well, in 20 minutes, I'll have a dick in mine. 1616 01:26:39,777 --> 01:26:41,947 What? What? Really? 1617 01:26:42,780 --> 01:26:43,780 No. 1618 01:26:44,949 --> 01:26:45,949 Great. Thanks. 1619 01:26:48,161 --> 01:26:50,431 - Yo, can you see them? - I can't, babe. 1620 01:26:50,455 --> 01:26:51,495 I gotta get out. 1621 01:26:51,581 --> 01:26:53,881 - Becky! - Go, Sean. Take it horizontal. 1622 01:26:53,958 --> 01:26:57,208 - Stop making out with him! - Okay, I'll just do it myself. 1623 01:26:57,295 --> 01:26:59,005 Oh, my God. He's gonna get a boner. 1624 01:26:59,172 --> 01:27:01,052 Yeah! 1625 01:27:02,342 --> 01:27:03,682 - Babe? - Wait. 1626 01:27:03,760 --> 01:27:05,930 - Jeremy! - Get back in the car. 1627 01:27:06,054 --> 01:27:08,684 - Jeremy, get back in the car. - You're gonna get dirty. 1628 01:27:08,765 --> 01:27:10,635 Get it, Becky! This is her choice. 1629 01:27:10,725 --> 01:27:12,685 Jeremy, it's not like you can't walk. 1630 01:27:12,769 --> 01:27:15,939 - Your legs are fine. - What are you doing? Oh, my God! 1631 01:27:16,105 --> 01:27:18,105 Hips! Use those hips, girl! 1632 01:27:18,191 --> 01:27:21,361 Jeremy, stop being so fucking weird. It's your sister. 1633 01:27:21,444 --> 01:27:23,744 Oh, my God, babe. How's Little J? 1634 01:27:24,489 --> 01:27:27,329 - Oh, my God. - I'm gonna grab my own ass. 1635 01:27:27,408 --> 01:27:29,538 And then, Becky, tell me if you feel it, too. 1636 01:27:29,619 --> 01:27:32,909 - There's no twin connection, dude. - Oh, here we go. 1637 01:27:32,997 --> 01:27:34,037 It's beautiful. 1638 01:27:34,123 --> 01:27:37,503 I thought it'd be weird to watch your best friend make out, but... 1639 01:27:38,378 --> 01:27:39,418 I'm getting into it. 1640 01:27:39,796 --> 01:27:43,086 You guys, this is awesome. But I think I fucked up my stitches. 1641 01:27:43,174 --> 01:27:45,974 - I told you to be careful. - Let's cut to the music. 1642 01:29:52,553 --> 01:29:56,183 I miss my dick. I wish it was here. 1643 01:29:56,265 --> 01:29:59,805 I dunno, I might... grow a beard, 1644 01:29:59,894 --> 01:30:04,114 I might start playing World of Warcraft. 122248