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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,176 --> 00:00:04,613 Hey! Magician lady! 2 00:00:04,656 --> 00:00:06,919 Did you disappear my fruit again? 3 00:00:06,963 --> 00:00:08,312 [kids gasp]Oh! Wow! 4 00:00:08,356 --> 00:00:09,922 Huh? Uh, no, Steve, it's probably 5 00:00:09,966 --> 00:00:12,186 up your ass, next to that giant stick, huh? 6 00:00:12,229 --> 00:00:13,709 MAN: I can't believe this woman. 7 00:00:13,752 --> 00:00:17,147 Hey, never said my show was rated G, people. 8 00:00:17,191 --> 00:00:18,453 Never said it. 9 00:00:19,497 --> 00:00:22,500 Does this... belong to you? 10 00:00:22,544 --> 00:00:24,285 How'd you do that? 11 00:00:24,328 --> 00:00:26,026 It's magic, dude. Now, if you'll look 12 00:00:26,069 --> 00:00:29,333 in the pocket of your hoodie, I think you got something for me. 13 00:00:29,377 --> 00:00:30,900 [soft gasp] 14 00:00:30,943 --> 00:00:32,858 ♪ Ta-da! My booze! 15 00:00:32,902 --> 00:00:34,295 [chuckles]That's so cool! 16 00:00:34,338 --> 00:00:36,514 Why don't you get a five-spot from your dad 17 00:00:36,558 --> 00:00:38,647 and put it in the hat, okay?Okay. 18 00:00:38,690 --> 00:00:40,170 Okay. One of these. 19 00:00:40,214 --> 00:00:42,259 Are these enough radishes for a party? 20 00:00:42,303 --> 00:00:44,131 I don't know, how many rabbits did you invite? 21 00:00:44,174 --> 00:00:45,697 Ha! It's for the crudités. 22 00:00:45,741 --> 00:00:48,178 Come on, let's just cater it.Oh, lazy much? 23 00:00:48,222 --> 00:00:49,527 It is our first party 24 00:00:49,571 --> 00:00:51,225 since we moved in together-- 25 00:00:51,268 --> 00:00:52,487 we can make the appetizers. 26 00:00:52,530 --> 00:00:53,531 Fine. 27 00:00:53,575 --> 00:00:54,663 Ooh! 28 00:00:54,706 --> 00:00:56,273 Oh, I love this. 29 00:00:56,317 --> 00:00:57,970 Is this Latin American cotton? 30 00:00:58,014 --> 00:00:59,929 I went to El Salvador last year 31 00:00:59,972 --> 00:01:01,409 on this ridiculous surf trip. 32 00:01:01,452 --> 00:01:03,193 Cool.So good. 33 00:01:03,237 --> 00:01:04,586 Another scarf? I didn't agree 34 00:01:04,629 --> 00:01:06,588 to move in with Steven Tyler's mike stand. 35 00:01:06,631 --> 00:01:08,024 Mm.Mm. 36 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,765 Guys, I think I'm gonna hit up 37 00:01:09,808 --> 00:01:11,375 an earlier yoga class. 38 00:01:11,419 --> 00:01:14,204 Oh, at thatplace? MRSA alert.I know, 39 00:01:14,248 --> 00:01:16,032 but I've got a commercial audition later, 40 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,295 and I need to clear my head-- I'm nervous. 41 00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:21,081 All right, text me later, let me know how it goes.Yes, Mom. 42 00:01:21,124 --> 00:01:22,169 [both chuckle] 43 00:01:22,212 --> 00:01:23,431 Okay, let's go. 44 00:01:23,474 --> 00:01:25,346 All right. 45 00:01:25,389 --> 00:01:27,261 [groans] 46 00:01:27,304 --> 00:01:28,436 Oh! 47 00:01:28,479 --> 00:01:29,567 [laughing]: I'm so sorry! 48 00:01:29,611 --> 00:01:31,352 Look what the clumsy magician lady did. 49 00:01:31,395 --> 00:01:34,094 Oh, no worries. Accidents happen. 50 00:01:34,137 --> 00:01:37,053 Well, that's a very sweet thing to say. 51 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:40,448 I'll bet you're a very sweet person, Dr. Allison. 52 00:01:40,491 --> 00:01:43,755 How did you know my name? And that I'm a doctor. 53 00:01:43,799 --> 00:01:46,236 Have we met?It feels like it, doesn't it? 54 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,151 It's like we've known each other all our lives. 55 00:01:48,195 --> 00:01:50,980 Like we have a psychic, spiritual connection. 56 00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:53,374 What is happening here? 57 00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:54,766 Ha-ha! I'm just messing with you. 58 00:01:54,810 --> 00:01:56,333 Look. I palmed your charm bracelet. 59 00:01:56,377 --> 00:01:58,857 There's an Allison charm, a doctor charm... 60 00:01:58,901 --> 00:02:01,033 [chuckles] I thought you had ESP. 61 00:02:01,077 --> 00:02:03,297 I was gonna make you guess what my job was. 62 00:02:03,340 --> 00:02:05,864 You're unemployed.Well, 63 00:02:05,908 --> 00:02:07,388 actually I'm developing an app. 64 00:02:07,431 --> 00:02:08,389 You get paid for that?Well, 65 00:02:08,432 --> 00:02:10,260 I'm talking to some investors. 66 00:02:10,304 --> 00:02:11,392 Yeah, you're unemployed. 67 00:02:12,828 --> 00:02:15,439 Dr. Allison, it has been a pleasure. 68 00:02:15,483 --> 00:02:17,006 [chuckles] Take it sleazy, 69 00:02:17,049 --> 00:02:18,660 Zuckerberg. [chuckles] 70 00:02:18,703 --> 00:02:20,966 Beard is ridiculous. [chuckles] 71 00:02:21,010 --> 00:02:22,272 Why? 72 00:02:22,316 --> 00:02:24,013 What the...? 73 00:02:24,056 --> 00:02:26,363 Uh... that woman just hit me. 74 00:02:31,586 --> 00:02:34,154 Ooh. Is Jill coming to your party? 75 00:02:34,197 --> 00:02:36,808 Well, she's my best friend, so yeah. 76 00:02:36,852 --> 00:02:39,681 Cool. I won't bring a date.'Cause you think 77 00:02:39,724 --> 00:02:42,336 you're going home with her?Totally possible. 78 00:02:42,379 --> 00:02:44,207 I'm making headway-- we're doing a cleanse together. 79 00:02:44,251 --> 00:02:46,383 Oh. Are you applying for the job of her gay best friend? 80 00:02:46,427 --> 00:02:49,038 No. I'm applying for the job of her lover, thank you very much, 81 00:02:49,081 --> 00:02:50,300 and my résumé's tight. 82 00:02:50,344 --> 00:02:51,736 Résumé? Hmm. 83 00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:53,042 "Allison's brother: 84 00:02:53,085 --> 00:02:54,739 "hobbies include obsessive crushes 85 00:02:54,783 --> 00:02:57,002 and pooping my pants on the way to Mammoth." 86 00:02:57,046 --> 00:02:59,918 Ooh. There was something wrong with those date shakes. 87 00:02:59,962 --> 00:03:01,790 Look, Jill would be lucky to go out with you, 88 00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:04,358 I know.but I don't think she sees you that way, 89 00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:06,273 and I think you should probably move on. 90 00:03:06,316 --> 00:03:07,404 Never.I just worry about you, 91 00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:09,667 being newly divorced and all. 92 00:03:09,711 --> 00:03:11,626 And that's very sweet of you and I appreciate that, 93 00:03:11,669 --> 00:03:16,021 but I'm fine.MAGICIAN: Shut the front door! Dr. Allison! 94 00:03:16,065 --> 00:03:18,546 It's me, Amy, from the farmers' market. 95 00:03:18,589 --> 00:03:21,157 How random is this, running into you? 96 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,724 It's really random. 97 00:03:22,767 --> 00:03:24,595 Who's this Bit-O-Honey?Hi. What's up? 98 00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:27,381 I'm Brad. I'm the brother.Mmm! 99 00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:29,252 BRAD: Yeah.Hey, I want to show you something. 100 00:03:29,296 --> 00:03:32,168 I got this thing on my shoulder, might be a mole. 101 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,604 Could be a... 102 00:03:33,648 --> 00:03:36,041 wax burn from some degrading role play. 103 00:03:36,085 --> 00:03:38,348 You know what I'm talking about, don't you?Yeah, I do. 104 00:03:38,392 --> 00:03:40,742 AMY: So anyway, you give it an eyeball, maybe ballpark diagnosis? 105 00:03:40,785 --> 00:03:42,526 Why don't you just come into my office? 106 00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:44,833 Just make an appointment.Oh. Okay. That's cool. 107 00:03:44,876 --> 00:03:48,140 Um, I am currently in between insurance carriers, 108 00:03:48,184 --> 00:03:50,360 so what's your barter policy? 109 00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:51,579 [Amy laughs] 110 00:03:51,622 --> 00:03:53,494 [laughing]: Just messing with you! 111 00:03:53,537 --> 00:03:55,713 I'll pay cash. It'll probably be all ones. 112 00:03:55,757 --> 00:03:57,454 And no, I'm not a stripper, Brad. 113 00:03:57,498 --> 00:03:58,629 Damn it. 114 00:03:58,673 --> 00:04:00,109 So, Dr. Allison, 115 00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:01,850 I guess I'll be seeing you soon, huh? 116 00:04:01,893 --> 00:04:03,852 AMY: And, you... 117 00:04:03,895 --> 00:04:05,506 I'm not done with you yet. 118 00:04:05,549 --> 00:04:08,465 Good. If you need me, I live above my sister's garage. 119 00:04:08,509 --> 00:04:11,729 Ooh, you're a project, aren't you?Get your tool set ready. 120 00:04:11,773 --> 00:04:12,991 [chuckles] 121 00:04:13,035 --> 00:04:14,732 Why was I flirting with that woman? 122 00:04:14,776 --> 00:04:16,256 I have no idea. 123 00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:18,258 She's some kook from the farmers' market. 124 00:04:18,301 --> 00:04:20,521 It's like she drew me in-- it got very sexual, very quickly. 125 00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:23,088 Yeah, I know. It was weird. All right. 126 00:04:24,786 --> 00:04:26,353 ♪ Ta-da! 127 00:04:26,396 --> 00:04:28,398 I told you I'd see you soon.Okay, uh, 128 00:04:28,442 --> 00:04:30,008 you keep showing up everywhere, 129 00:04:30,052 --> 00:04:31,749 and it's freaking me out.Absolutely. 130 00:04:31,793 --> 00:04:34,404 It is weird. Creme de menthe? 131 00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:36,580 I'm actually on my way back to the office.Ah. 132 00:04:36,624 --> 00:04:38,756 'Cause it's 2:00 p.m., on a Tuesday. 133 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,455 Wow, it's Tuesday already? Man, space and time! 134 00:04:41,498 --> 00:04:44,371 Listen, can I ask you something personal?I don't really know you. 135 00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:46,416 Do you believe there's a force in this world that wants nothing more 136 00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:49,332 than for you to be happy? And if there wasBut go ahead and ask anyway. 137 00:04:49,376 --> 00:04:52,074 such a force, do you think it could be manifested in a person? 138 00:04:52,117 --> 00:04:55,338 A person whose mission is to safeguard your journey through this world? 139 00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:59,429 You know, like, uh, intervene before you get hit by a bus or something like that. 140 00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:01,605 It sounds like you're describing a guardian angel. 141 00:05:01,649 --> 00:05:03,564 That's exactly what I'm describing. 142 00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:06,175 [big sigh]What exactly do you want? 143 00:05:06,218 --> 00:05:07,872 [sighs] Dr. Allison, 144 00:05:07,916 --> 00:05:09,961 we have not been formally introduced. 145 00:05:10,005 --> 00:05:12,486 I'm Amy, and, honey... 146 00:05:12,529 --> 00:05:14,531 I'm your guardian angel. 147 00:05:15,837 --> 00:05:17,621 Uh... look... 148 00:05:17,665 --> 00:05:19,493 I am a skin doctor.I know. 149 00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:21,495 I think what you need is a psychiatrist. 150 00:05:21,538 --> 00:05:22,713 Oh.Or... 151 00:05:22,757 --> 00:05:24,106 maybe a sober living arrangement. 152 00:05:24,149 --> 00:05:27,370 Your mother died 412 days ago. 153 00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:29,416 And though you won't admit it, 154 00:05:29,459 --> 00:05:31,766 she was your best friend. 155 00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:34,682 And since then you've buried yourself in work, 156 00:05:34,725 --> 00:05:36,161 buried yourself in a relationship 157 00:05:36,205 --> 00:05:38,163 with a guy who's a bit of a tool. 158 00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:39,164 Hey...It's an observation, 159 00:05:39,208 --> 00:05:40,601 honey, it's not a judgment. 160 00:05:40,644 --> 00:05:41,906 Got your first period at Red Lobster, 161 00:05:41,950 --> 00:05:43,343 which is super ironic. 162 00:05:43,386 --> 00:05:44,648 [quietly]: Stop![women laughing] 163 00:05:44,692 --> 00:05:45,823 Remember your first orgasm, 164 00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:47,216 when you farted just a little bit? 165 00:05:47,259 --> 00:05:48,609 Oh, my God![laughing] 166 00:05:48,652 --> 00:05:50,393 Oh, man, so embarrassing! 167 00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:52,352 How do you know all that stuff? 168 00:05:52,395 --> 00:05:54,354 I've been watching you. 169 00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:56,356 It's what we do. 170 00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:58,140 We watch over souls. 171 00:05:58,183 --> 00:06:01,883 And yours is amazing. 172 00:06:05,147 --> 00:06:07,584 You could've easily found that stuff online. 173 00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:09,673 My friends over-share on Facebook. 174 00:06:09,717 --> 00:06:11,240 That's true, and I am a whiz 175 00:06:11,283 --> 00:06:12,502 at the computer-- especially Photoshop. 176 00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:14,112 Check this out-- my head 177 00:06:14,156 --> 00:06:15,505 on Gisele Bundchen's body. 178 00:06:15,549 --> 00:06:17,028 What do you think?Ew. 179 00:06:17,072 --> 00:06:18,595 Christmas card material? No? 180 00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:20,597 So you've been cyber-stalking me? 181 00:06:20,641 --> 00:06:22,730 I suppose you know my password?Maybe. 182 00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:26,516 Or... I may be an angel whose mission it is to... 183 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,736 safeguard your journey through this world. 184 00:06:28,779 --> 00:06:30,433 It all depends 185 00:06:30,477 --> 00:06:32,174 on what you believe, Allison. 186 00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:33,958 Okay. 187 00:06:34,002 --> 00:06:37,527 See you later, angel lady. Yeah.Okay. 188 00:06:37,571 --> 00:06:38,659 Look out! 189 00:06:38,702 --> 00:06:39,964 Bus! Oh, my God![gasps] 190 00:06:40,008 --> 00:06:41,444 No, no, no bus. I'm so sorry. 191 00:06:41,488 --> 00:06:42,663 I'm seeing things. My fault. 192 00:06:42,706 --> 00:06:44,491 Okay.I'm sorry. No touching, either. 193 00:06:44,534 --> 00:06:46,667 [laughing]: I'm buzzed. I thought I saw a bus. 194 00:06:46,710 --> 00:06:48,886 I'm loaded. It's the creme de menthe, honey. 195 00:06:48,930 --> 00:06:51,193 It sneaks up on ya. 196 00:06:54,109 --> 00:06:56,764 Morning, Felicia.Holy sunburn, Dad! 197 00:06:56,807 --> 00:06:58,548 How many days were you lost in the desert? 198 00:06:58,592 --> 00:07:00,550 I played a quick nine this morning.Aw, Dad, 199 00:07:00,594 --> 00:07:04,162 come on, we're dermatologists, not cautionary tales. 200 00:07:04,206 --> 00:07:05,468 Hey, you know, I still haven't received 201 00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:07,818 your RSVP to the housewarming party. 202 00:07:07,862 --> 00:07:09,559 I think your house is plenty warm. 203 00:07:09,603 --> 00:07:12,170 Is it really necessary to add an unemployed boyfriend, honey? 204 00:07:12,214 --> 00:07:14,564 Evan and I are moving in together, it is happening, 205 00:07:14,608 --> 00:07:16,044 and I want you there. 206 00:07:16,087 --> 00:07:17,567 Of course I'm coming. 207 00:07:17,611 --> 00:07:19,047 Great. Are you bringing anyone? 208 00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:20,483 No, no. 209 00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:23,399 Flying solo... like a golden eagle. 210 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,835 You know who you could bring? 211 00:07:24,879 --> 00:07:27,403 Uh, Dana from the club. Yeah, she seems cool. 212 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,492 She's too short.Have you seen yourself lately? 213 00:07:29,536 --> 00:07:31,799 Exactly. If we had kids, they'd be jockeys. 214 00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:34,671 Oh, what about that cute pediatrician from the conference? 215 00:07:34,715 --> 00:07:36,717 Oh, I'll date a doctor if you do. 216 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:39,502 Dad, come on, it's been over a year since Mom died. 217 00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:40,808 I'm not trying to pressure you. 218 00:07:40,851 --> 00:07:43,071 But it might be time to get out there. 219 00:07:43,114 --> 00:07:44,725 Are you nervous? 220 00:07:44,768 --> 00:07:46,291 'Cause you're a Beverly Hills skin doctor. 221 00:07:46,335 --> 00:07:47,815 There's going to be a stampede. 222 00:07:47,858 --> 00:07:49,730 Well, now you're making me blush. 223 00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:52,210 I wish I could tell. Stacy from the bank. 224 00:07:52,254 --> 00:07:54,517 And we're done. If you'll excuse me now, 225 00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:56,998 I'm gonna go dunk my head in some aloe. 226 00:07:57,041 --> 00:07:58,129 [car alarm chirps] 227 00:07:58,173 --> 00:08:00,001 Sweet Volt. Evan's idea? 228 00:08:00,044 --> 00:08:01,872 You know what they say about a guy 229 00:08:01,916 --> 00:08:04,745 with a small carbon footprint-- small penis. 230 00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:07,225 Okay, we're officially in a stalker situation. 231 00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:09,619 Impromptu plan-- you, me, Julio's Cantina. 232 00:08:09,663 --> 00:08:12,448 When's the last time you had a weekday margarita?No, thanks. 233 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,798 I've got a 6:00 a.m. spin class. 234 00:08:14,842 --> 00:08:16,931 Plus, I'm off sugar. 235 00:08:17,975 --> 00:08:19,716 [groans] 236 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,979 I have an antihistamine or EpiPen here somewhere, 237 00:08:22,023 --> 00:08:25,679 'Cause I'm allergic to fun.because you're allergic to fun. 238 00:08:27,594 --> 00:08:29,421 Listen... I know we just met 239 00:08:29,465 --> 00:08:31,946 and we're having a great time making jokes, but... 240 00:08:31,989 --> 00:08:35,427 I have something really intense I need to talk to you about. 241 00:08:38,082 --> 00:08:40,476 I have cancer. 242 00:08:42,086 --> 00:08:44,393 [Latin music playing loudly]Okay, I don't have cancer. 243 00:08:45,394 --> 00:08:46,395 Terrible lie. 244 00:08:47,831 --> 00:08:50,399 Never should've said it.You just faked cancer? 245 00:08:50,442 --> 00:08:52,401 Let's leave the past in the past, okay? 246 00:08:52,444 --> 00:08:54,838 I didn't know any other way to get you here. 247 00:08:54,882 --> 00:08:56,623 Oh, so you hadto lie? 248 00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:58,668 Technically, we're never supposed to intervene 249 00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:00,148 in a human's life. 250 00:09:00,191 --> 00:09:01,845 Oh, is that some sort of angel rule? 251 00:09:01,889 --> 00:09:03,760 As a matter of fact, it is, yes. 252 00:09:03,804 --> 00:09:07,155 We're supposed to help from afar, be subtle about things. 253 00:09:07,198 --> 00:09:10,375 You know, like implant an inspirational thought, 254 00:09:10,419 --> 00:09:12,029 or nudge you towards the conditioner 255 00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:14,466 that would give your hair that perfect bounce. 256 00:09:14,510 --> 00:09:17,469 The Pantene?You're welcome. 257 00:09:17,513 --> 00:09:19,689 [chuckles] But if I see you're about to go down 258 00:09:19,733 --> 00:09:21,735 a dangerous path, what am I gonna do, 259 00:09:21,778 --> 00:09:23,171 stick my head up my ass? 260 00:09:23,214 --> 00:09:24,868 What are you talking about, "dangerous path"? 261 00:09:26,870 --> 00:09:28,872 Follow me. 262 00:09:28,916 --> 00:09:30,874 [giggling]ALLISON: Oh. 263 00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:32,267 I didn't know they were having dinner tonight. 264 00:09:32,310 --> 00:09:33,921 Evan said he was working. 265 00:09:33,964 --> 00:09:36,880 He's working on boning your best friend. 266 00:09:36,924 --> 00:09:38,578 They've hooked up once before. 267 00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:40,928 Some light petting-- I won't go into details. 268 00:09:40,971 --> 00:09:43,321 Second base.What?! 269 00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:45,367 Boobs, dude. [belches] 270 00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:47,499 And some dry humping, but please, I just, 271 00:09:47,543 --> 00:09:49,719 I don't want to get into the details. 272 00:09:49,763 --> 00:09:52,330 ALLISON: I'm sorry, Evan is cheating? 273 00:09:52,374 --> 00:09:53,680 With Jill? 274 00:09:53,723 --> 00:09:54,985 Kid, I'm so sorry. 275 00:09:55,029 --> 00:09:56,639 Oh, honey. 276 00:09:56,683 --> 00:09:58,162 Would it cheer you up to know that there is 277 00:09:58,206 --> 00:10:00,600 a taquito... 278 00:10:00,643 --> 00:10:01,905 behind your ear? 279 00:10:04,342 --> 00:10:06,562 [crunching taquito] 280 00:10:08,172 --> 00:10:10,174 These are surprisingly crunchy. 281 00:10:15,353 --> 00:10:16,311 [low, indistinct conversation] 282 00:10:16,354 --> 00:10:17,442 Hey, guys. 283 00:10:17,486 --> 00:10:19,096 Oh. Hey, babe.Hi. 284 00:10:19,140 --> 00:10:21,533 Wha... What are you doing here? I thought you were working late. 285 00:10:21,577 --> 00:10:23,013 ALLISON: Oh, I just... 286 00:10:23,057 --> 00:10:24,014 you know... 287 00:10:24,058 --> 00:10:25,929 What are youdoing here? 288 00:10:25,973 --> 00:10:26,974 Um... 289 00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:30,717 [chuckles]: I guess you caught us. 290 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:32,719 I can't believe this. 291 00:10:32,762 --> 00:10:34,546 How could you? 292 00:10:34,590 --> 00:10:35,809 How could I what? 293 00:10:35,852 --> 00:10:37,854 And, Jill, you're hooking up with my boyfriend? 294 00:10:37,898 --> 00:10:39,856 Allison, wh-what are you talking about? 295 00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:40,770 We didn't hook up. 296 00:10:40,814 --> 00:10:41,815 Oh, then what the hell is this? 297 00:10:41,858 --> 00:10:44,469 With the coffee and the cakes? 298 00:10:44,513 --> 00:10:45,862 Babe, there's just one cake. 299 00:10:45,906 --> 00:10:47,168 Look... 300 00:10:47,211 --> 00:10:48,169 I wasn't going to tell you, 301 00:10:48,212 --> 00:10:49,257 but I'm-I'm making a video 302 00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:50,693 for the party tomorrow night, 303 00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:52,564 of all the big moments in your life. 304 00:10:52,608 --> 00:10:54,566 Because moving in together 305 00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:56,307 is the biggest moment in my life. 306 00:10:56,351 --> 00:10:59,397 Yeah?And Jill was just helping me out. 307 00:10:59,441 --> 00:11:00,790 She just brought over pics 308 00:11:00,834 --> 00:11:01,791 that I can scan. 309 00:11:01,835 --> 00:11:04,446 JILL: This is us at prom. 310 00:11:04,489 --> 00:11:06,013 This was when we were in Greece. 311 00:11:06,056 --> 00:11:08,058 Oh, and one of us at Red Lobster. 312 00:11:08,102 --> 00:11:10,495 It's a little weird you have a picture from that day. 313 00:11:10,539 --> 00:11:11,583 It was a big moment. 314 00:11:11,627 --> 00:11:12,715 It's really sweet. 315 00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:14,021 Oh, my God, you guys. I'm so sorry. 316 00:11:14,064 --> 00:11:15,500 I just totally freaked out. 317 00:11:15,544 --> 00:11:17,372 Can we please just forget I said anything? 318 00:11:17,415 --> 00:11:19,679 Um, yeah.I'm so sorry. 319 00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:21,724 EVAN: Babe, why would you even think that? 320 00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:25,075 I don't know. I'm sorry.Ah, come here. 321 00:11:28,470 --> 00:11:30,864 He's lying. I know they were hooking up. 322 00:11:30,907 --> 00:11:32,387 How? An angel knows. 323 00:11:32,430 --> 00:11:34,171 And I hacked into his e-mails. What?! 324 00:11:34,215 --> 00:11:36,696 I told you I'm a wiz at the computer.Ugh! 325 00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:39,437 Oh, please, no, stop. Please. 326 00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:41,309 Let me explain. 327 00:11:41,352 --> 00:11:42,876 Are you crying? No. 328 00:11:42,919 --> 00:11:44,878 There's habanero pepper in this taquito 329 00:11:44,921 --> 00:11:47,184 and I'm literally digesting lava. 330 00:11:47,228 --> 00:11:48,969 I want you out of my life. 331 00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:50,927 Seriously. I will get a restraining order. 332 00:11:50,971 --> 00:11:51,885 My uncle's a lawyer. 333 00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:53,277 Your uncle's a dentist. 334 00:11:53,321 --> 00:11:54,626 Why do you know everything? 335 00:11:54,670 --> 00:11:56,193 I am going back inside to have dinner 336 00:11:56,237 --> 00:11:57,847 with my non-cheating boyfriend and my best friend. 337 00:11:57,891 --> 00:12:00,023 Crazy ladies not invited. 338 00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:02,939 Well, I'm not following you, but I got to go to the bathroom. 339 00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:06,377 I've got a nuclear situation here and it ain't a drill. 340 00:12:06,421 --> 00:12:07,770 ALLISON: Hi. 341 00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:09,554 You look gorgeous. 342 00:12:09,598 --> 00:12:11,948 So good to see you. 343 00:12:11,992 --> 00:12:14,124 Hello. Hey, you. 344 00:12:14,168 --> 00:12:15,647 Hi, Brad. 345 00:12:15,691 --> 00:12:16,779 How's the cleanse going? 346 00:12:16,823 --> 00:12:18,128 Oh, I stopped it last week. 347 00:12:18,172 --> 00:12:19,434 Didn't I tell you? 348 00:12:20,478 --> 00:12:21,784 You did not. 349 00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:23,307 Spacey actress. 350 00:12:23,351 --> 00:12:24,787 [both laugh] 351 00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:26,789 Anyway, how is it going for you? 352 00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:28,922 Uh, good for me. I'm-I'm-I'm loving it. Yeah. 353 00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:30,967 I've had some vertigo and full body sweats, 354 00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:32,316 but other than... 355 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:33,927 and I am a little weak, actually, but good. 356 00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:36,538 Cool.So, um... 357 00:12:36,581 --> 00:12:38,148 Yeah, I'm loving the clean living. 358 00:12:38,192 --> 00:12:39,976 It's going to be my thing now.Do you want to get drunk? 359 00:12:40,020 --> 00:12:42,065 Absolutely.Come on. 360 00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:50,073 [pop music playing, muffled] 361 00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:55,122 Man, I got to stop intervening. 362 00:12:55,165 --> 00:12:56,819 Are you talking to me? 363 00:12:56,863 --> 00:12:57,907 Evan's cheating on Allison, 364 00:12:57,951 --> 00:12:59,561 and I just want to go in there 365 00:12:59,604 --> 00:13:01,432 and bust him, but I can't. 366 00:13:01,476 --> 00:13:03,870 I'm trying to be more disciplined. 367 00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:05,785 Okay, I don't know any of the people you're talking about. 368 00:13:05,828 --> 00:13:07,787 What? Boo. Bad neighbor. 369 00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:08,918 All right.Get out of here. 370 00:13:08,962 --> 00:13:10,920 No, no, no, no, no.Hey, don't let him 371 00:13:10,964 --> 00:13:12,530 take a whizz on my chariot. 372 00:13:12,574 --> 00:13:14,663 It's my only mode of transport post DWI. 373 00:13:14,706 --> 00:13:16,665 Speaking of which, do you know a good attorney? 374 00:13:16,708 --> 00:13:18,145 Like, an affordable guy, 375 00:13:18,188 --> 00:13:19,929 someone who's not going to ask a lot of questions? 376 00:13:19,973 --> 00:13:20,974 Have a nice night. 377 00:13:21,017 --> 00:13:22,323 You, too, pal. 378 00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:24,020 Hey, and introduce yourself to Allison! 379 00:13:24,064 --> 00:13:26,936 She's the best! 380 00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:33,725 Welcome, everybody, to our first party. 381 00:13:33,769 --> 00:13:36,467 [cheering] 382 00:13:36,511 --> 00:13:38,078 I'll keep it short. Um... 383 00:13:38,121 --> 00:13:41,733 I just want to say how truly lucky I feel 384 00:13:41,777 --> 00:13:42,865 to have met this man. 385 00:13:42,909 --> 00:13:44,475 Aw...He makes me feel 386 00:13:44,519 --> 00:13:46,042 safe and loved 387 00:13:51,352 --> 00:13:52,788 Hear, hear![laughter] 388 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,921 I'm pretty great.Yes, you are. 389 00:13:54,964 --> 00:13:56,879 We're out of beer.We're out of beer. 390 00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:58,228 Get some more beer. 391 00:13:58,272 --> 00:14:00,752 Love is in the air, huh? 392 00:14:00,796 --> 00:14:03,016 ♪ 393 00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:04,800 Oh, sorry, yeah. 394 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:06,802 I need two cases of Anchor Steam delivered to... 395 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,673 Weird. 396 00:14:08,717 --> 00:14:10,414 Uh, no, not you. No. 397 00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:12,764 Two cases of Anchor Steam delivered to... 398 00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:14,766 My clover charm? 399 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,207 ♪ 400 00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:22,687 Weird. 401 00:14:22,731 --> 00:14:25,038 [laughing] Hey. 402 00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:27,997 Hi. Hey, are you missing your clover charm? 403 00:14:28,041 --> 00:14:29,607 The one we got in Ireland? 404 00:14:30,652 --> 00:14:32,654 Yeah. How'd you know? 405 00:14:32,697 --> 00:14:35,352 Because it was in Evan's office. 406 00:14:35,396 --> 00:14:37,833 On his couch. 407 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,488 ♪ 408 00:14:40,531 --> 00:14:42,882 Evan and I hooked up. 409 00:14:42,925 --> 00:14:44,231 [partygoers gasp, music stops] 410 00:14:44,274 --> 00:14:45,623 God, I'm so sorry. 411 00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:46,929 What?What?! 412 00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:49,149 It happened when we were making the video. 413 00:14:49,192 --> 00:14:51,151 Things got out of hand. I promise it'll never happen again. 414 00:14:51,194 --> 00:14:53,370 Seriously?Seriously?! 415 00:14:53,414 --> 00:14:55,068 Not your moment, Brad. 416 00:14:55,111 --> 00:14:57,635 Are you kidding me?Are you kidding me? 417 00:14:57,679 --> 00:14:58,810 No-no-no. I-I... 418 00:14:58,854 --> 00:15:00,725 We did not hook up. Oh? 419 00:15:00,769 --> 00:15:02,031 Okay, I did, but... 420 00:15:02,075 --> 00:15:04,033 just give me one minute to explain. 421 00:15:04,077 --> 00:15:05,600 Which part? 422 00:15:05,643 --> 00:15:07,689 The cheating or the-the making me feel horrible 423 00:15:07,732 --> 00:15:09,952 for accusing you of cheating while you were cheating? 424 00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:13,695 All right, this move-in has brought up a lot of issues for me. 425 00:15:13,738 --> 00:15:15,523 What issues?Okay, uh, well, uh, 426 00:15:15,566 --> 00:15:17,742 first of all, uh, we're very different people. 427 00:15:17,786 --> 00:15:19,396 Oh, okay.'Cause I'm super chill 428 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,746 Mm.but you, you're so intense. 429 00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:23,966 Plus you're always on the phone or you're at the office. 430 00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:26,751 You have literally worked about every weekend 431 00:15:26,795 --> 00:15:28,057 since we have been together. 432 00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:29,841 Well, somebody's got to work around here. 433 00:15:29,885 --> 00:15:31,278 [partygoers gasp]Oh. 434 00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:32,932 So there it is. 435 00:15:32,975 --> 00:15:34,716 You don't believe in my business plan. 436 00:15:34,759 --> 00:15:36,326 An app where you can choose different skin colors 437 00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:37,632 for your photos? 438 00:15:37,675 --> 00:15:39,590 Uh, it's like Benetton. 439 00:15:39,634 --> 00:15:41,288 Okay, it promotes tolerance. 440 00:15:41,331 --> 00:15:42,811 It promotes blackface. 441 00:15:42,854 --> 00:15:45,161 No, it-it doesn't. It... 442 00:15:45,205 --> 00:15:47,772 Okay, we're just gonna need to cool things off here 443 00:15:47,816 --> 00:15:49,992 before someone says something they're going to regret. 444 00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:51,080 Oh, okay, well, how about this? 445 00:15:51,124 --> 00:15:52,995 How about leave and never come back? 446 00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:55,084 I'm serious. Go. 447 00:15:55,128 --> 00:15:56,738 I'm going to go. 448 00:15:56,781 --> 00:15:59,175 That's what I said.Yeah. 449 00:15:59,219 --> 00:16:00,960 And then I said it. 450 00:16:02,265 --> 00:16:04,267 [door shuts]Oh, my God. 451 00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:06,922 Uh, yeah, hi. Uh, everybody, 452 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,664 the, um, party celebrating my relationship 453 00:16:09,707 --> 00:16:12,493 ended when my relationship ended. 454 00:16:12,536 --> 00:16:14,016 You heard her, folks! Move it or lose it! 455 00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:16,627 Wow. 456 00:16:16,671 --> 00:16:19,674 Okay. Thanks. Bye. 457 00:16:19,717 --> 00:16:21,632 Oh, kiddo. 458 00:16:21,676 --> 00:16:24,113 I heard he was cheating and I didn't want to believe it. 459 00:16:24,157 --> 00:16:26,855 You deserve so much better than him. 460 00:16:26,898 --> 00:16:28,770 Thanks, Dad.Love you, kiddo. 461 00:16:31,816 --> 00:16:33,949 [knocking on door] 462 00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:46,701 AMY: ♪ Ta-da! 463 00:16:46,744 --> 00:16:48,007 [chuckles] 464 00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:49,269 So creepy. 465 00:16:49,312 --> 00:16:50,835 I was just going to leave the plate, 466 00:16:50,879 --> 00:16:52,837 but I thought, "Who eats unattended camp food, huh?" 467 00:16:52,881 --> 00:16:55,971 FYI, best s'more ever. 468 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:58,017 Well, here it is on a Sunday morning 469 00:16:58,060 --> 00:16:59,496 and the doctor is in. 470 00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:03,065 My diagnosis: nerdialence. 471 00:17:03,109 --> 00:17:06,155 Look, I don't know how you knew 472 00:17:06,199 --> 00:17:08,157 but you knew. 473 00:17:08,201 --> 00:17:09,854 Evan and Jill were hooking up. 474 00:17:09,898 --> 00:17:12,031 You were right, go ahead, throw it in my face. 475 00:17:12,074 --> 00:17:13,467 Aw, sorry, kid. 476 00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:15,643 That must feel terrible. 477 00:17:15,686 --> 00:17:18,559 It does. 478 00:17:18,602 --> 00:17:20,082 Here, take a bite. 479 00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:23,042 [sighs] 480 00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:24,739 Nobody's made me s'mores since I was a kid...Since you were a little girl. 481 00:17:24,782 --> 00:17:26,915 Your mom used to make them for you.Yeah, my mom used to... 482 00:17:26,958 --> 00:17:28,395 She used to make them for me whenever I was...She used to make them for you... 483 00:17:28,438 --> 00:17:30,962 Okay, can I please finish a nostalgic thought. Sure. 484 00:17:31,006 --> 00:17:33,052 She... used to make them 485 00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:35,097 for me just because. 486 00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:36,185 Mm. 487 00:17:36,229 --> 00:17:38,579 She called it my reward for being me. 488 00:17:38,622 --> 00:17:41,886 She'd surprise me with a plate every few months. 489 00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:43,845 That's why I made the s'more. 490 00:17:43,888 --> 00:17:46,804 I wanted to remind you of a time when you felt really loved. 491 00:17:46,848 --> 00:17:49,459 Well... that is not how I feel now. 492 00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:51,940 Pity party, your table's ready. 493 00:17:51,983 --> 00:17:53,376 What? I barely got choked up. 494 00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:54,856 Do you know what your problem is? 495 00:17:54,899 --> 00:17:56,901 You take care of everybody but yourself, 496 00:17:56,945 --> 00:17:58,860 and that attracts people who take advantage. 497 00:17:58,903 --> 00:18:00,862 I mean, you basically supported your boyfriend, 498 00:18:00,905 --> 00:18:03,038 your let your brother sleep in your garage. 499 00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:04,126 What is your point? 500 00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:06,476 Living for others never end well. 501 00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:07,999 It drains you, honey. 502 00:18:08,043 --> 00:18:10,089 Now, take a bite. 503 00:18:11,438 --> 00:18:13,048 Hmm? 504 00:18:17,357 --> 00:18:18,749 Wow. 505 00:18:18,793 --> 00:18:19,968 [laughing] 506 00:18:20,011 --> 00:18:21,274 That's amazing. 507 00:18:21,317 --> 00:18:22,971 Look at that smile, huh? 508 00:18:23,014 --> 00:18:25,278 That's the smile of a happy kid, huh? 509 00:18:25,321 --> 00:18:26,975 Living in the moment, 510 00:18:27,018 --> 00:18:28,585 free from everybody's expectations. 511 00:18:28,629 --> 00:18:30,021 Settle down.[laughing] 512 00:18:30,065 --> 00:18:31,153 Personal space. 513 00:18:31,197 --> 00:18:33,286 Oh, Allison, I could help you. 514 00:18:33,329 --> 00:18:34,635 You just need somebody to nudge you, 515 00:18:34,678 --> 00:18:36,027 to say, get off the phone, 516 00:18:36,071 --> 00:18:38,204 have a weekday margarita, have some fun, 517 00:18:38,247 --> 00:18:41,163 let some random guy take you to O-town. 518 00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:43,339 Oh, I was with you right up until the end. 519 00:18:43,383 --> 00:18:45,820 Ah, you don't just deserve to be happy 520 00:18:45,863 --> 00:18:47,778 and to be loved. 521 00:18:47,822 --> 00:18:49,867 It's your birthright. 522 00:18:49,911 --> 00:18:53,175 And I want nothing less for you. 523 00:18:53,219 --> 00:18:54,959 You might even say... 524 00:18:55,003 --> 00:18:57,179 it's my mission in life. [clicks tongue] 525 00:18:57,223 --> 00:18:59,225 But... [snaps fingers] 526 00:18:59,268 --> 00:19:02,184 if all this angel stuff is too bizarre for you, I understand, 527 00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:05,231 I get it... and I'll leave you alone. 528 00:19:10,105 --> 00:19:12,020 Walk very slowly... 529 00:19:12,063 --> 00:19:15,545 just in case she wants to change her mind. 530 00:19:23,074 --> 00:19:27,166 It's not that I believe you're an angel. 531 00:19:27,209 --> 00:19:29,168 But...? But... 532 00:19:31,039 --> 00:19:34,564 ...you know, I could use a weird friend. 533 00:19:34,608 --> 00:19:35,957 Look at me. 534 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,698 Yeah, I know. 535 00:19:37,741 --> 00:19:39,265 Do they come any weirder? [laughing] 536 00:19:39,308 --> 00:19:40,918 You got coffee in there? 537 00:19:40,962 --> 00:19:42,050 I do. 538 00:19:42,093 --> 00:19:44,095 Crème de menthe. 539 00:19:44,139 --> 00:19:45,880 Mm, shocker. 540 00:19:45,923 --> 00:19:48,578 Let's get our Sunday on, huh? 541 00:19:48,622 --> 00:19:50,189 ♪ 542 00:19:55,542 --> 00:19:57,370 [dog barking in distance] 543 00:20:00,677 --> 00:20:02,940 ["The Funeral" by Band of Horses plays] 544 00:20:20,828 --> 00:20:22,090 [music stops] 545 00:20:27,138 --> 00:20:29,489 [phone buzzing] 546 00:20:38,019 --> 00:20:39,325 What? 547 00:20:39,368 --> 00:20:41,457 Captioning sponsored by CBS 548 00:20:41,501 --> 00:20:42,937 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 549 00:20:42,980 --> 00:20:44,939 ♪ Really too late to call 550 00:20:44,982 --> 00:20:48,159 ♪ So we wait for... 39155

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