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1
00:00:07,299 --> 00:00:08,550
What?
2
00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:10,093
No, I didn't steal this shit.
3
00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:11,970
If you bothered to watch
last week's episode,
4
00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,430
you'd know that.
5
00:00:15,307 --> 00:00:16,642
Police!
6
00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:18,727
Police!
7
00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:20,270
Jesus!
8
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,855
- What the fuck, asshole?
- Shit!
9
00:00:21,939 --> 00:00:23,607
What the fuck-‐
10
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,568
Mikey?
11
00:00:26,652 --> 00:00:27,402
Frank.
12
00:00:27,486 --> 00:00:29,404
I deserve to feel special.
13
00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:33,116
Don't look at me like that.
14
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:36,245
I've got a system.
It's all going back.
15
00:00:36,328 --> 00:00:37,955
You're a disgrace,
Gallagher.
16
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,165
I never, ever want
to see your face again,
17
00:00:40,249 --> 00:00:43,252
not on my campus
and not ever in my army.
18
00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:44,127
We clear, son?
19
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:45,420
Crystal, sir.
20
00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:49,925
Boy or girl?
21
00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:52,010
- Boy.
- Tami?
22
00:00:52,094 --> 00:00:54,263
We don't know yet.
She's still in surgery.
23
00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:21,516
Hey, any of those
glazed doughnut holes
24
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,310
left down in the break room?
25
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:24,645
Mm-hmm.
26
00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:50,003
Mm.
27
00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:51,588
Hey.
28
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:18,115
Ugh!
Get the fuck off me!
29
00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:20,575
What's your problem?
30
00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:22,244
I'm sick of the smell
of goddamn mayonnaise.
31
00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:23,537
It's like getting screwed
32
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,080
by a bowl of potato salad
every morning.
33
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:27,124
It's the only lube
we have in this shithole.
34
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,334
Well, it makes me wanna gag
every time you come near me.
35
00:03:29,418 --> 00:03:31,211
Oh, yeah, 'cause you taking
a shit every night at 8:15
36
00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:33,380
is a real fuckin' bed of roses.
37
00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:34,256
At least my shit
gets flushed,
38
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,925
unlike your
coleslaw-smellin' dick.
39
00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:39,302
Can't be 8:30, can it?
Or seven o'clock?
40
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:41,263
No, Mickey has to shit
every night
41
00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:42,431
at the exact same time.
42
00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:43,640
That's annoying.
43
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:44,933
- Shut up!
- Is it?
44
00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:46,768
Is it as annoying as the way
you lick your finger
45
00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:48,603
every single time
you turn the page
46
00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:50,105
of whatever faggety-ass
book you're reading?
47
00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:51,565
- Okay.
- "My name's Ian.
48
00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:53,567
I can't turn the page
like a normal human being.
49
00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:55,569
I have to put my whole
goddamn paw in my mouth."
50
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:56,736
You know what? If you
actually knew how to read,
51
00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:59,739
maybe you'd understand,
not, "Look at these fucking
52
00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:02,284
squiggle-dings all over
this piece of paper!"
53
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:02,993
Every morning,
the same shit!
54
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,579
You're like old women!
55
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:07,622
I came to prisonto get away from my parents.
56
00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:09,666
Eat my cornhole, cocks!
57
00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:11,501
Not if it smells
like mayonnaise.
58
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,962
Exactly!
59
00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:16,298
Let's go! Line it up!
60
00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:21,803
Hey.
61
00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:24,473
I wanna see the warden
about getting a new roommate.
62
00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:26,099
What is this,
fuckin' summer camp?
63
00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:27,058
Get your ass to breakfast.
64
00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:04,304
Hey, we made it, huh?
65
00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:17,692
No problem.
66
00:05:29,955 --> 00:05:31,706
Asses up
if you want coffee!
67
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,715
You start bonin' dudes
while I was away at school?
68
00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:44,052
Occasionally,
if the mood strikes.
69
00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:45,387
I was talkin' to Frank.
70
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,681
Can't two grown men
share a bed together
71
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,224
without it being sexual?
72
00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:51,852
No.
73
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:54,479
Go for Carl.
74
00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:56,731
Yeah, yeah,
it's still available.
75
00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:58,733
All right.
I'll send you the address.
76
00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:03,697
Stinky, dirty, wet!
77
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:06,116
Wash your own shit!
78
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,701
You both owe me
rent money.
79
00:06:07,784 --> 00:06:08,368
Oh, come on.
80
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:10,412
Thirty-seven bucks a night,
81
00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,247
plus five if you'll be
showering.
82
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:13,582
- What about Carl?
- I'm selling my military gear
83
00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:16,376
- to get some cash.
- Electricity, gas,
84
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:18,295
and water for the month
is 48 bucks.
85
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,046
Let me know
if you'll be eating here.
86
00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:22,507
I have various
meal plans available.
87
00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,801
You don't need
to pay rent, Frank.
88
00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:25,969
You're the patriarch
of this family.
89
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:28,722
He is?
90
00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:30,599
I'm keeping the
coffee warm for ten minutes.
91
00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:32,142
Then I'm dumping it.
92
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:33,643
Little Red Riding Twat
93
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:36,813
needs to understand
who's boss around here.
94
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:38,440
Me?
95
00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:41,318
Yes, you.
96
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:54,956
What's goin' on?
97
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,208
Tryin' to figure out
who I am,
98
00:06:57,292 --> 00:07:00,545
what's my identity...
Dr. King, Dr. Dre?
99
00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:02,130
Maybe you should
set your sights lower,
100
00:07:02,213 --> 00:07:03,381
you know, like Tiga, Nelly,
101
00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:05,800
or maybe one
of the Wayans brothers.
102
00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:07,302
Or Lester Holt.
103
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:44,422
- You Carl?
- Who's asking?
104
00:07:44,506 --> 00:07:45,340
I answered an ad
on Craigslist.
105
00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:47,342
Lookin' to buy
some military gear.
106
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:50,095
- It's all right here.
- Cool.
107
00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:50,929
You take 75?
108
00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:53,181
Ad said 100.
109
00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:55,183
I figured I'd try.
110
00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:56,518
- Figured I'd walk away.
- Wait, no, no, no.
111
00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:57,852
Here, here.
112
00:07:57,936 --> 00:07:59,479
It's fine.
Hundred bucks.
113
00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:03,233
It's all there.
I promise.
114
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,527
I'm starting ROTC
in the fall.
115
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:06,861
- I gotta train this summer.
- Mm.
116
00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:08,697
So what got you interested
in becoming an officer?
117
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,115
Went down
to the recruiting offices,
118
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:11,366
played them shoot-'em-up
video games?
119
00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:13,910
Something like that.
120
00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:15,912
Can I have the bag?
121
00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:16,705
What, the recruiters
make you think
122
00:08:16,788 --> 00:08:18,623
you're gonna become
this officer,
123
00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:20,959
big war hero,
leading men into battle?
124
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:22,043
I don't know. Maybe.
I guess.
125
00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:24,629
They tell you that you
could be one of the very few,
126
00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:25,964
make a difference,
127
00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:27,298
that you could
do something your life,
128
00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:28,633
change your destiny?
129
00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:30,719
Hey, might even become
a general one day.
130
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:33,763
My mom's gonna start worrying
if I don't get home soon.
131
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:34,889
You know that's a bunch
of horseshit.
132
00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:37,892
They don't want guys like us
to enlist as officers...
133
00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:39,728
you know,
guys from the South Side,
134
00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:42,689
guys who aren't very smart,
kinda slow.
135
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:43,648
They're just trying
to fill their quota,
136
00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:46,609
gettin' us hooked
on the thrill of the kill.
137
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:49,320
Then they spit us out
when we can't handle
138
00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:50,405
quantum physics or even read.
139
00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:52,365
- I can read.
- And then they leave us
140
00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:53,408
on the side of the road
141
00:08:53,491 --> 00:08:55,076
with the taste of blood
in our mouths,
142
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,119
and what do we do?
143
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,787
We enlist as grunts.
144
00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,247
And while they get
all the medals
145
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:01,750
and cushy postings
up in Japan and Germany,
146
00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:04,085
where are we, poor boys
from disadvantaged backgrounds
147
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,754
like you and me?
148
00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:08,548
Somalia, Fallujah,
that's where.
149
00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:10,258
And then when we finally
get sent home,
150
00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:11,926
it's in a body bag.
151
00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:14,262
Not me.
152
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:15,263
Not Carl Gallagher.
No, thank you.
153
00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:16,264
I ain't no one's
human shield.
154
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:17,432
Can I just have my money back
155
00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:19,851
if you're not gonna
sell me the shit?
156
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:30,820
Only thing left in these
Oxy bottles is dust.
157
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:33,406
You have a toothbrush
I can use, Frank?
158
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:34,741
They're communal.
Just grab one.
159
00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:39,454
The fuck is that?
160
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,794
How 'bout we head over
to that Russian bakery
161
00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:48,963
and snag some of those muffin
samples for breakfast, huh?
162
00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:49,839
No can do, partner.
163
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:52,133
We gotta hit the streets,
do some work.
164
00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:53,218
What? Why?
165
00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:56,137
You heard Debbie.
166
00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:58,515
- Rent money.
- You're not seriously gonna do
167
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,642
what she told you to do,
are you?
168
00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:04,687
That girl's got a serious dose
of her mother's crazy DNA.
169
00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,689
We come home
with empty pockets,
170
00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:07,565
she may cut our tits off.
171
00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:09,651
How 'bout your kids?
They got any money
172
00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:11,486
- we could bum off 'em?
- Not a cent.
173
00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:12,278
I went through
their backpacks last night
174
00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:15,365
while they were sleeping.
175
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,283
Me too.
176
00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:19,452
Mm, I'm afraid
it's an honest day's work
177
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:21,329
for you and me, mi amigo.
178
00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:24,582
Any scams you wanna try?
179
00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,835
How 'bout
the Distract and Grab?
180
00:10:26,918 --> 00:10:27,961
Could do the Melon Drop.
181
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:29,629
Old-fashioned
Pig in the Poke?
182
00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:33,466
I'm always down for a classic
Ukrainian Peekaboo.
183
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:34,926
All good by me.
184
00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:36,219
All right.
185
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:39,389
It's just a crime,
that's all,
186
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:42,225
that-that Debbie
doesn't give you
187
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:45,436
the respect you deserve.
188
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,021
Tell me about it.
189
00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:50,692
You know, you sacrificed
so much for her.
190
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:51,484
That, I did.
191
00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:53,236
You know,
she's ungrateful...
192
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:55,655
- Yep.
- ...entitled...
193
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:56,156
- Mm-hmm.
- ...spoiled.
194
00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:58,700
You know her well.
195
00:10:58,783 --> 00:10:59,993
Too bad there's not a way
196
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,703
we could take control
away from her,
197
00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:03,955
you know, make you...
make you the king of the house,
198
00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:05,081
you know,
you set the rules here.
199
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:09,210
Y-yeah, but how?
200
00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:12,547
I'm not sure. I mean,
wishful thinking, I guess.
201
00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:14,048
I gotta go get dressed.
202
00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:16,009
I don't wanna be late
for work.
203
00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:29,314
Check it out, Franny.
204
00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:31,691
I've worn these guys,
like, 15 times,
205
00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:33,902
and they're in perfect...
condition.
206
00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:35,278
Ha.
207
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:36,613
Ready to be returned
to the store today.
208
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:40,200
The key is plastic
sole protectors.
209
00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:42,410
Your mama's a genius.
210
00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:45,830
- Can I get 125 bucks?
- I'm sure you can,
211
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:47,498
if you got a job
instead of lounging around
212
00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:49,250
watching YouTube videos
all summer.
213
00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:51,294
From my share
of the Fiona money.
214
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:53,296
Mm... no.
215
00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:54,797
- Why not?
- It's in the bank...
216
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:57,717
getting two point four percent
compound interest.
217
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,053
Isn't it supposed to be
all of our money?
218
00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:01,763
What do you need it for
anyways?
219
00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:03,765
You get some girl
in trouble or something?
220
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:06,059
No! I'm ten.
221
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:08,353
Besides, abortions
are free anyway.
222
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:09,896
They are?
223
00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:12,565
The state of Illinois
224
00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:15,610
supports women having control
of their bodies.
225
00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:16,986
What do you need it for,
then?
226
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:17,987
A DNA test.
227
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,530
Monica already
did one of those.
228
00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:21,950
Your hers...
and Frank's.
229
00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:23,701
Sorry to tell you.
230
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:27,330
An africanancestry.com
DNA test.
231
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:29,290
Wanna see where I come from.
232
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,793
You come from Africa.
Happy?
233
00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:32,961
Are you ready to go?
234
00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:36,130
Let's go.
235
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:41,886
Let go, baby.
236
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:51,020
- Hey, Debs.
- Hey.
237
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,146
Here's the new daddy.
238
00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:53,982
Hey, Franny.
239
00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:55,650
What's up with that glove?
240
00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:57,318
Oh, I stole a few
from the hospital
241
00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:59,988
so I'm not touching him with
a smoky hand later, you know?
242
00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:02,282
Or you could just quit.
243
00:13:02,365 --> 00:13:03,658
Oh, hi!
244
00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:07,370
There's my sweet
little nephew.
245
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:08,579
What'd you decide to name him?
246
00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:09,747
Freddie.
247
00:13:09,831 --> 00:13:12,000
Like Kruger?
248
00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:14,419
Uh... Fred, then.
249
00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:16,504
- Fred Flintstone?
- I don't know.
250
00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:17,797
I was tired as shit
when I filled out the forms
251
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,132
at the hospital.
252
00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:20,675
It was the first name
I thought of.
253
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:23,344
It's my professor's name,
Clyde Fred Youens.
254
00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:24,387
Hopefully Tami likes it.
255
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:27,265
We didn't really have
a chance to discuss it.
256
00:13:27,348 --> 00:13:28,725
- How's she doin'?
- She's got a bad infection.
257
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:31,477
She's all jacked up
on drugs.
258
00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:33,146
It's a little touch-and-go.
259
00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:37,108
I think she'll be fine.
260
00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:39,610
You know,
hopefully she'll be fine.
261
00:13:39,694 --> 00:13:41,821
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
262
00:13:43,698 --> 00:13:46,117
All right, well...
263
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,702
...see you later.
264
00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:48,703
- Come on, Franny.
- Bye. Wait, whoa.
265
00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:51,039
You're not gonna
help me out today?
266
00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:52,707
No can do.
I got shit to do.
267
00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:54,333
The new couch is getting
delivered today.
268
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:55,501
Can you make sure
to let the delivery guy in?
269
00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:57,754
Come on, Debs, I-I need a nap.
I been up, like, 27 hours.
270
00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:01,007
Get used to it.
It's your new normal.
271
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:03,551
Fine.
Yeah, no, we'll be...
272
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:05,762
we'll be fine.
273
00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:10,391
Shit! Hey.
274
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,944
Good-bye, LeBrons.
275
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:26,699
Here you go.
Take 'em.
276
00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:27,283
Thought they were gonna
help me play b-ball better,
277
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:30,078
but...
278
00:14:30,161 --> 00:14:32,872
I guess I'm, uh,
279
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:33,998
past my prime.
280
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:36,876
Just the middleman here,
amigo.
281
00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:39,420
Got a can in this place?
282
00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:40,838
Yeah, right over there.
283
00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:45,218
I'll take a beer and a shot
of Jaeger when I'm out.
284
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:46,427
Okay.
285
00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:51,933
He just leaves them here?
286
00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:53,518
Maybe he's telling you
it's okay to pull a Scamazon.
287
00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:56,354
- A what?
- Scamazon.
288
00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:59,315
I returned my microwave,
289
00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:03,319
except I put a brick in the box
instead of the microwave.
290
00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:05,780
Soon as On Board Shipping
scanned the return,
291
00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:07,824
my money was instantly
credited back to me.
292
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:10,409
They never checked
inside the box.
293
00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:12,703
That's genius.
294
00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:15,123
...ly stupid
is what I was gonna say.
295
00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:16,457
- Why's that again?
- Because it's wrong.
296
00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:17,708
It's wrong.
297
00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:20,253
Not if it's a big
corporation.
298
00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:21,462
Yeah, he's right.
299
00:15:21,546 --> 00:15:22,964
I'd never do it
to a little guy, you know,
300
00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:24,006
like some mom-and-pop place.
301
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:27,844
But a big company,
they factor that stuff in.
302
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:30,179
It's stealing no matter
who you do it to.
303
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:31,472
Then I guess
you don't wanna know
304
00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:33,099
about another way
to Scamazon.
305
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:34,142
- No.
- Yes.
306
00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:35,476
I ordered shit,
307
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,103
told them that I didn't
receive it,
308
00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:38,521
even though I did.
309
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:40,231
So they sent me another.
310
00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:42,150
You mean I coulda got
two pairs of sneakers?
311
00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:42,984
That's why I have
two fleshlights.
312
00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:45,987
You saying flashlight
or fleshlight?
313
00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:48,197
I think you know
what I'm sayin'.
314
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:48,990
That delivery guy's dead.
315
00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:51,909
Can I have another beer,
please?
316
00:15:53,828 --> 00:15:55,079
What?
317
00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:56,205
He said he wants
another beer.
318
00:15:57,999 --> 00:16:01,669
- Aw, jeez.
- Oh, jeez.
319
00:16:01,752 --> 00:16:02,879
What's he doing
with a belt around his neck
320
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:05,298
- while he was taking a piss?
- He was jacking off, Kev.
321
00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:07,008
And strangling himself
at the same time.
322
00:16:07,091 --> 00:16:08,509
Why?
323
00:16:08,593 --> 00:16:09,635
- 'Cause it feels good.
- Mm.
324
00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:12,346
Is that that
autoerotic shit?
325
00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:13,181
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
326
00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:14,765
Aw, dude, come on!
327
00:16:14,849 --> 00:16:16,184
I never had
the courage.
328
00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:18,227
Why the fuck's he doing
it in our bathroom?
329
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,812
Couldn't he wait
till he got home?
330
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:22,356
- When the urge hits...
- You guys are idiots.
331
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:24,025
He didn't use
a lemon.
332
00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:25,818
Even I don't know that one.
333
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:27,904
Y-you keep a lemon
in your mouth.
334
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,030
That way, when you pass out
and start to seize,
335
00:16:29,113 --> 00:16:32,700
you bite into the lemon,
wake yourself up.
336
00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:35,036
Maybe I should try that
sometime, then.
337
00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:37,163
- So what do we do now?
- Call the cops.
338
00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:38,956
Or we could
raid his truck first.
339
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:40,249
- Yes.
- Yeah.
340
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,043
- I mean, dead is dead.
- Yeah.
341
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:43,377
What's a couple of hours?
342
00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:44,378
That's a good point.
Let's go.
343
00:16:44,462 --> 00:16:44,879
Yeah.
344
00:16:44,962 --> 00:16:47,423
Hold on!
Stop.
345
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:49,217
V's right.
Stop.
346
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,093
This joker comes
into my bathroom,
347
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:53,054
jacks off, chokes himself,
348
00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:53,971
then was gonna have
a shot and a beer,
349
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:57,183
go back on his big truck
to work
350
00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:58,935
all hammered and jizzed out...
do I have this right?
351
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,853
- Absolutely correct.
- Yeah.
352
00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:01,145
One hundred percent.
353
00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:05,066
Fuck him.
He coulda killed a kid.
354
00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:06,776
He deserves to have
his truck ransacked.
355
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:09,028
Move. I got first dibs.
356
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:10,363
That's my girl.
357
00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:17,245
One-eighty over 120.
358
00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:20,373
That's high, Ernesto.
You gotta cut out the salt.
359
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:22,250
Salt's the only edible thing
in this place.
360
00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:23,709
Yeah, well...
361
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:25,795
About halfway finished
there, Chester.
362
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:29,006
Put some Drano in the line,
take me outta my misery.
363
00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:30,424
Hey, come on, now.
364
00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:31,842
You're up for a compassionate
release, right?
365
00:17:31,926 --> 00:17:34,136
Compassionate release,
my ass.
366
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:37,515
The only person my release
would be compassionate to
367
00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:39,767
is Mr. Johnny Dingleberry
taxpayer
368
00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:42,270
who doesn't wanna
foot the bill
369
00:17:42,353 --> 00:17:44,021
for my medical expenses
in here.
370
00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:47,024
You get to see your family,
your friends.
371
00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:48,568
They're all dead.
372
00:17:48,651 --> 00:17:51,529
Why do you think they put me
in here in the first place?
373
00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:52,947
Make new friends.
374
00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:55,783
I been in here
for 30 years.
375
00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:57,618
I wouldn't survive
two days out there.
376
00:17:57,702 --> 00:17:59,161
I'm pissin' blood.
377
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:01,455
My shingles
are flarin' up.
378
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:03,958
And I've got dementia...
I think.
379
00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:08,713
Hey, let me ask you
a question.
380
00:18:08,796 --> 00:18:11,299
How'd you and Marco survive
in that cell all those years
381
00:18:11,382 --> 00:18:13,217
- without killing each other?
- Oh, that's easy.
382
00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:14,594
You ju...
383
00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:16,470
Oh, wait, now.
384
00:18:16,554 --> 00:18:17,722
Who's Marco?
385
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:20,850
Your prison wife.
386
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:23,144
You were together,
like, 12 years.
387
00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:26,647
He's six-foot-five,
Hispanic.
388
00:18:26,731 --> 00:18:28,524
He likes to eat
people's faces.
389
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:30,901
Does sound like someone
I'd date.
390
00:18:30,985 --> 00:18:32,236
Okay, never mind.
391
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,822
Are you talkin'
about you and Mickey?
392
00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:36,490
Okay, you remember Mickey
but not Marco?
393
00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:39,452
Who's Marco?
394
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,495
- Forget about it.
- Uh, you and your fella
395
00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:43,581
just need
a little time apart,
396
00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:45,499
a temporary separation.
397
00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:47,668
A mini vacation.
398
00:18:47,752 --> 00:18:48,586
How am I supposed
to do that in prison?
399
00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:50,671
I'll tell ya how.
400
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:55,176
But you need to stab me.
401
00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:57,845
Just deep enough
so they have to keep me here,
402
00:18:57,928 --> 00:19:02,016
and then you can go to solitary
for a couple of weeks.
403
00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:06,604
Let's go
while I'm middle-aged, huh?
404
00:19:06,687 --> 00:19:08,356
- Hurry up, Kev!
- I'm trying.
405
00:19:08,439 --> 00:19:09,315
He's got, like,
a million keys.
406
00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:11,692
Let's go.
I'm losin' my beer buzz.
407
00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:13,069
Okay, I hear all of you!
408
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,905
Dude, let's go,
come on.
409
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,490
Got it.
Jackpot!
410
00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:18,741
Stand back.
411
00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:25,873
- Oh, wow.
- Holy shit.
412
00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:27,833
Gimme some!
413
00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:31,712
This is like
rich people Christmas.
414
00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:34,382
God is great!
415
00:19:34,465 --> 00:19:36,175
I been praying for this moment
since I was six years old.
416
00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:36,967
My good karma
is finally paying off.
417
00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:40,096
Shut up, Kevin.
Hoist me up.
418
00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:42,264
Yeah,
that one right there.
419
00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:46,227
Lyft should be here
in a sec.
420
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:48,604
Silver... "Ha-wan-day."
Is that how you say that?
421
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:49,730
"Hundye."
422
00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:51,816
I think it's "Hunday."
423
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:53,818
You wanna get hit
or cut?
424
00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:56,237
Let's flip a coin.
425
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,906
If we had a coin,
we wouldn't be out here.
426
00:19:58,989 --> 00:20:00,783
- I'll get cut.
- Sounds good.
427
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:02,076
I'll get hit.
428
00:20:02,159 --> 00:20:03,244
Okay.
429
00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:04,912
See you around the corner.
430
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:10,751
Mickey?
431
00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:13,003
It's Mikey.
432
00:20:13,087 --> 00:20:15,047
Who the fuck is Mickey?
433
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:25,975
How's your day going
so far?
434
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:28,102
Oh, uh, fine.
435
00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:30,896
Um, could you put on
a little classical music?
436
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:31,647
Yeah, sure thing.
437
00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:38,446
Oh, shit!
438
00:20:38,529 --> 00:20:40,781
Ahh! Ohh! Ahh!
439
00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:41,866
Watch what you're doing,
lady!
440
00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:44,952
You just hit that man!
441
00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:47,455
- Oh, God!
- Are you okay?
442
00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:49,290
I think you broke
my leg.
443
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:51,709
- Oh, God!
- And my face, it's bleeding!
444
00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:53,419
Um, okay, stay right there.
I'll call the police
445
00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:55,796
- and an ambulance.
- Oh, oh, oh! Oh, no!
446
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,840
I-I-I can go
to the ER myself.
447
00:20:57,923 --> 00:21:00,050
I'll probably hobble there
myself too.
448
00:21:00,134 --> 00:21:01,177
No, but your leg!
I'll drive you both.
449
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:03,971
No disrespect, but...
450
00:21:04,054 --> 00:21:06,182
I'm too scared to get
in your death mobile again.
451
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,642
Hey, what are they hitting
ya for at the ER these days?
452
00:21:08,726 --> 00:21:10,227
Couple hundy.
453
00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:11,145
Oy. I'm no Rockefeller.
454
00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:15,149
I-I'm just gonna wait
till my leg heals.
455
00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:20,696
Unless... you wanted
to make things right.
456
00:21:23,407 --> 00:21:26,786
You fools are a couple
of scam artists, aren't you?
457
00:21:26,869 --> 00:21:27,953
- What are you talking about?
- No!
458
00:21:28,037 --> 00:21:29,246
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
459
00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:33,125
You old farts
need to get fresh.
460
00:21:34,919 --> 00:21:36,420
Hey, wait.
You're leaving...
461
00:21:36,504 --> 00:21:37,463
you're leaving
a crime scene!
462
00:21:40,216 --> 00:21:41,926
Fresh?
463
00:21:43,010 --> 00:21:44,929
You wanna go again?
464
00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:48,015
I'll get cut this time.
465
00:21:48,098 --> 00:21:49,517
Fresh.
466
00:21:52,686 --> 00:21:54,522
Dude, your kid
is totally white.
467
00:21:54,605 --> 00:21:57,650
Doesn't even look like he has
one drop of black blood in him.
468
00:21:57,733 --> 00:22:00,194
Yeah, well,
have you seen his parents?
469
00:22:00,277 --> 00:22:01,362
You know, when we screwed,
470
00:22:01,445 --> 00:22:03,030
it was like two pieces
of chalk fucking.
471
00:22:03,113 --> 00:22:04,782
Isn't it easier
just to quit smoking?
472
00:22:04,865 --> 00:22:05,574
Plannin' on it, but...
473
00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:07,368
I thought I'd have
a lot more time
474
00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:09,787
before the baby came,
and, you know, besides,
475
00:22:09,870 --> 00:22:12,081
the nicotine's
keeping me awake and...
476
00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:13,541
calm my nerves.
477
00:22:13,624 --> 00:22:15,417
This dad shit's scary.
478
00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:16,877
- You raised us.
- Yeah, but I didn't care
479
00:22:16,961 --> 00:22:18,546
if I killed you guys.
480
00:22:18,629 --> 00:22:19,839
I wanna keep Freddie alive.
481
00:22:21,298 --> 00:22:23,133
Why am I the only one
in the family
482
00:22:23,217 --> 00:22:24,593
that has black skin?
483
00:22:24,677 --> 00:22:26,595
Think it has something to do
with Monica's granddad,
484
00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:29,807
although we never really
got a straight answer.
485
00:22:29,890 --> 00:22:31,934
Sucks not knowing
my family tree.
486
00:22:32,017 --> 00:22:33,561
Who cares?
487
00:22:33,644 --> 00:22:35,646
- You're a Gallagher.
- Yeah.
488
00:22:35,729 --> 00:22:37,481
In this house, I am,
but out there,
489
00:22:37,565 --> 00:22:39,984
I'm a black kid that lives
on the South Side of Chicago.
490
00:22:41,986 --> 00:22:43,737
I went to Urban Outfitters,
491
00:22:43,821 --> 00:22:46,407
and a security guard
followed me for 20 minutes.
492
00:22:46,490 --> 00:22:48,450
Says "urban" in their title.
493
00:22:48,534 --> 00:22:50,870
Okay, he's hungry.
494
00:22:50,953 --> 00:22:52,580
Uh, this is gonna be
his first feeding at home.
495
00:22:52,663 --> 00:22:55,374
You have a bottle or something
I can warm up?
496
00:22:55,457 --> 00:22:58,252
Nope. Tami wants me
to breastfeed him.
497
00:22:58,335 --> 00:23:00,045
How?
498
00:23:02,172 --> 00:23:03,674
Oh.
499
00:23:03,757 --> 00:23:06,594
I know it's ridiculous,
but...
500
00:23:06,677 --> 00:23:11,599
Tami says he needs to learn
how to latch onto the boob.
501
00:23:11,682 --> 00:23:14,852
Yeah, it's also good
for attachment and shit.
502
00:23:14,935 --> 00:23:17,438
Here we go. Let's show Liam
how we do it, huh?
503
00:23:17,521 --> 00:23:20,107
You wanna show Uncle Liam?
504
00:23:20,190 --> 00:23:21,775
You wanna show Uncle Liam?
Here we go. Here we go.
505
00:23:21,859 --> 00:23:23,277
Here we go. Shh, shh, shh.
506
00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:25,654
A little suck.
A little suck.
507
00:23:25,738 --> 00:23:28,198
Little suck, little suck.
508
00:23:28,282 --> 00:23:29,992
And shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
509
00:23:32,286 --> 00:23:33,412
He-e-ey!
510
00:23:33,495 --> 00:23:34,288
Hey, he did it!
511
00:23:34,371 --> 00:23:36,498
He did it.
He's sucking. He latched!
512
00:23:36,582 --> 00:23:40,210
You're like a walking PSA
to wear a condom.
513
00:23:54,683 --> 00:23:57,478
Okay, so that's three
Cap'n Bob's fish specials,
514
00:23:57,561 --> 00:24:00,439
one with tots, one with fries,
and one with slaw.
515
00:24:00,522 --> 00:24:01,899
Be ready in 15.
516
00:24:02,775 --> 00:24:04,610
Yo, where do you think
you're going?
517
00:24:04,693 --> 00:24:06,111
Are you deaf or something?
518
00:24:06,195 --> 00:24:08,656
I'm looking for Lori.
She, uh, doing a bank run?
519
00:24:08,739 --> 00:24:09,740
You want me to cap
your ass or what?
520
00:24:09,823 --> 00:24:12,034
- I'd like to see you try.
- Don't think I won't.
521
00:24:12,117 --> 00:24:13,953
Carl Gallagher.
522
00:24:14,036 --> 00:24:15,704
Hey.
523
00:24:15,788 --> 00:24:19,667
Mm. Smells as good
as the day I met ya.
524
00:24:19,750 --> 00:24:21,502
You're Carl.
525
00:24:21,585 --> 00:24:22,461
Yeah.
Heard of me?
526
00:24:22,544 --> 00:24:25,756
This is Anne Gonzalez,
assistant manager.
527
00:24:25,839 --> 00:24:28,676
Tough as nails.
She keeps everybody in line.
528
00:24:32,137 --> 00:24:33,514
So...
529
00:24:33,597 --> 00:24:35,057
you ready to get back
to work?
530
00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:37,393
- Yeah.
- Great.
531
00:24:38,936 --> 00:24:41,021
Hey, Dirk,
532
00:24:41,105 --> 00:24:43,107
Carl's back.
533
00:24:43,190 --> 00:24:45,067
Arrivederci, buddy.
534
00:24:45,442 --> 00:24:47,528
Oh, shit.
535
00:24:47,611 --> 00:24:49,113
I'm sorry, Wheels.
536
00:24:49,196 --> 00:24:50,990
I told you this day
was gonna come.
537
00:24:51,073 --> 00:24:52,199
You firing me, Lori?
538
00:24:52,282 --> 00:24:53,367
You should be
collecting disability.
539
00:24:53,450 --> 00:24:55,244
What you wanna work for
anyway?
540
00:24:55,327 --> 00:24:56,662
- Have a purpose in life?
- Overrated.
541
00:24:59,164 --> 00:25:00,916
I'll go get your uniform.
542
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,335
I been savin' it.
543
00:25:03,419 --> 00:25:04,628
- Can I help you?
- Picking up an order
544
00:25:04,712 --> 00:25:06,171
for Pedro.
545
00:25:07,464 --> 00:25:11,719
Uh, two shrimp tacos.
That's $7.70.
546
00:25:11,802 --> 00:25:15,347
Friend said I should ask
for extra tartar sauce.
547
00:25:15,431 --> 00:25:16,265
It's 26 bucks
for the tartar sauce.
548
00:25:16,348 --> 00:25:18,892
And $7.70 for the tacos.
549
00:25:24,982 --> 00:25:26,108
Here you go.
550
00:25:26,191 --> 00:25:28,485
Did you get my letters?
551
00:25:28,569 --> 00:25:30,154
Yeah. Why'd you send me
dick pics?
552
00:25:30,237 --> 00:25:33,407
It wasn't my dick, silly.
553
00:25:33,490 --> 00:25:35,951
Now, get your cute keister
to work.
554
00:25:36,035 --> 00:25:37,494
Fryolator's calling your name.
555
00:25:58,599 --> 00:26:00,100
Okay, would you stop
doing that?
556
00:26:00,184 --> 00:26:01,602
Stop fucking doing that.
557
00:26:01,685 --> 00:26:03,729
For the love of Christ,
not again!
558
00:26:03,812 --> 00:26:05,189
Mind your business,
Enzo!
559
00:26:05,272 --> 00:26:07,733
We need to talk.
560
00:26:07,816 --> 00:26:09,443
- About what?
- About the fact
561
00:26:09,526 --> 00:26:11,195
that we wanna kill
each other.
562
00:26:11,278 --> 00:26:12,112
I don't know what you
want from me.
563
00:26:12,196 --> 00:26:13,572
Stop bein' so annoying!
564
00:26:15,407 --> 00:26:17,701
You remember
when we first got here?
565
00:26:17,785 --> 00:26:19,328
We had fun together.
566
00:26:19,411 --> 00:26:21,872
Yeah.
All we did was bang.
567
00:26:21,955 --> 00:26:23,999
We laughed too.
568
00:26:24,083 --> 00:26:26,418
What happened to us?
569
00:26:26,502 --> 00:26:28,295
This place happened.
570
00:26:29,421 --> 00:26:31,799
Gets to ya.
571
00:26:31,882 --> 00:26:32,758
I don't want it to.
572
00:26:32,841 --> 00:26:36,845
Well, don't really
have much of a choice.
573
00:26:38,305 --> 00:26:41,600
How 'bout, like, a...
574
00:26:41,683 --> 00:26:43,644
temporary separation?
575
00:26:43,727 --> 00:26:47,106
- How we supposed to do that?
- Well, I could stab Chester.
576
00:26:47,189 --> 00:26:48,190
What you wanna stab
Chester for?
577
00:26:48,273 --> 00:26:50,400
- He's gonna get released soon.
- Who gives a shit?
578
00:26:50,484 --> 00:26:51,985
So if I stab him,
he gets to stay and...
579
00:26:52,069 --> 00:26:53,278
What are you
talking about right now?
580
00:26:53,362 --> 00:26:55,906
And I get sent
to solitary.
581
00:26:58,200 --> 00:26:59,827
Wait. A-are you dumpin' me?
582
00:27:02,329 --> 00:27:03,497
- We need a break.
- Fuck you.
583
00:27:03,580 --> 00:27:05,833
We can't keep goin' on
like this.
584
00:27:05,916 --> 00:27:08,168
Okay, you want a break?
I'll give you a break.
585
00:27:08,252 --> 00:27:10,212
I'm gonna stab Chester,
and I'm gonna go to solitary.
586
00:27:10,295 --> 00:27:11,088
- What are you talking about?
- You're not dumping me.
587
00:27:11,171 --> 00:27:13,799
I'm dumping you.
Where's the shiv?
588
00:27:13,882 --> 00:27:15,509
Where'd you put it?
589
00:27:15,592 --> 00:27:17,344
And no, you're not
stabbing him. I am.
590
00:27:17,427 --> 00:27:19,138
Free country.
591
00:27:19,221 --> 00:27:20,806
You're an asshole.
592
00:27:20,889 --> 00:27:22,349
Takes one to know one,
bitch.
593
00:27:27,437 --> 00:27:28,814
God.
594
00:27:30,941 --> 00:27:33,026
Ah!
595
00:27:33,110 --> 00:27:34,403
Found it, bitch.
596
00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:37,030
Lockdown.
597
00:27:37,114 --> 00:27:39,366
Oh, you're kidding me.
598
00:27:45,998 --> 00:27:47,624
Hey.
599
00:27:47,708 --> 00:27:48,834
I'm here
to return these shoes.
600
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:53,922
- Anything wrong with them?
- No.
601
00:27:54,006 --> 00:27:57,384
I've just got so many
of them at home.
602
00:27:57,467 --> 00:28:00,304
- Do you have the receipt?
- Sure do.
603
00:28:00,387 --> 00:28:02,097
Here you go.
604
00:28:04,266 --> 00:28:06,393
Thirty days exactly.
605
00:28:06,476 --> 00:28:07,477
Mm.
606
00:28:07,561 --> 00:28:09,438
Why don't I just
process this return?
607
00:28:09,521 --> 00:28:10,063
Cool.
608
00:28:10,147 --> 00:28:13,817
But first...
609
00:28:13,901 --> 00:28:15,235
What's that?
610
00:28:15,319 --> 00:28:16,820
Black light.
611
00:28:16,904 --> 00:28:18,697
Need to check
if they've been worn.
612
00:28:18,780 --> 00:28:20,657
Oh, uh, well,
I mean, look at them.
613
00:28:20,741 --> 00:28:23,535
They've never
been worn before.
614
00:28:23,619 --> 00:28:25,746
- You see?
- Yes, to my naked eye.
615
00:28:25,829 --> 00:28:29,583
But my naked eye can't see
invisible bodily fluids.
616
00:28:29,666 --> 00:28:31,585
You wouldn't imagine
what lengths people go to
617
00:28:31,668 --> 00:28:32,753
trying to make it look like
618
00:28:32,836 --> 00:28:34,922
they've never worn
a pair of shoes.
619
00:28:35,005 --> 00:28:37,716
Everyone trying
to cheat the system.
620
00:28:39,635 --> 00:28:41,094
Including you.
621
00:28:41,845 --> 00:28:44,765
- Excuse me?
- Check it out.
622
00:28:44,848 --> 00:28:47,100
Toddler urine.
Blood.
623
00:28:47,184 --> 00:28:49,394
Surprise, surprise.
624
00:28:49,478 --> 00:28:52,439
- A little bit of vomit.
- You can tell all that?
625
00:28:52,522 --> 00:28:54,483
Sorry, I can't accept
these returns.
626
00:28:55,275 --> 00:28:58,236
No, but, sir,
your thingy's wrong.
627
00:28:58,320 --> 00:28:59,905
I've never worn
those shoes before.
628
00:28:59,988 --> 00:29:01,907
Don't make me look you up
on Instagram.
629
00:29:01,990 --> 00:29:05,077
I'm sure you posted plenty
of selfies in these shoes.
630
00:29:07,371 --> 00:29:09,414
Please, sir,
631
00:29:09,498 --> 00:29:11,833
I'm a single mother
struggling to make ends meet.
632
00:29:11,917 --> 00:29:16,380
I just wanted something nice
for once in my life.
633
00:29:16,463 --> 00:29:17,631
I promise you, I will
never do this again,
634
00:29:17,714 --> 00:29:20,926
but these shoes are 800 bucks.
635
00:29:21,009 --> 00:29:22,678
I can't afford that.
636
00:29:23,887 --> 00:29:26,515
Suppose I could
make an exception.
637
00:29:26,598 --> 00:29:27,808
- Thank you.
- Under one condition.
638
00:29:27,891 --> 00:29:31,603
- Anything.
- You blow me after my shift.
639
00:29:31,687 --> 00:29:34,564
Why does everything
have to come down to sex?
640
00:29:34,648 --> 00:29:36,650
'Cause sex is awesome.
641
00:29:36,733 --> 00:29:39,194
No. You just wanna feel
like you have power over me.
642
00:29:39,277 --> 00:29:41,321
That's awesome too.
643
00:29:41,405 --> 00:29:44,700
Can't I just, like,
wash your car
644
00:29:44,783 --> 00:29:46,159
or something?
645
00:29:46,243 --> 00:29:48,787
Mm...
646
00:29:48,870 --> 00:29:51,873
not as satisfying.
647
00:29:51,957 --> 00:29:54,001
So it's all about
degrading me, then.
648
00:29:54,376 --> 00:29:58,171
I... guess.
649
00:29:58,255 --> 00:30:01,425
Yes, it-it probably is.
650
00:30:06,471 --> 00:30:08,348
Okay.
651
00:30:08,432 --> 00:30:10,934
How 'bout...
652
00:30:11,018 --> 00:30:12,519
how 'bout I give you
a blow job?
653
00:30:12,602 --> 00:30:14,813
You just said
it was degrading.
654
00:30:14,896 --> 00:30:16,440
It is, when you ask for it.
655
00:30:16,523 --> 00:30:19,317
It's different
if you do?
656
00:30:19,401 --> 00:30:22,112
Yeah.
'Cause then it's my choice.
657
00:30:22,195 --> 00:30:24,865
It's my decision.
And I have the power.
658
00:30:24,948 --> 00:30:27,451
Okay.
659
00:30:27,534 --> 00:30:29,077
Then sure.
660
00:30:29,161 --> 00:30:30,620
I'd love a blow job.
661
00:30:30,704 --> 00:30:33,081
- Deal.
- I get off in two hours.
662
00:30:36,168 --> 00:30:37,919
See you in two hours.
663
00:30:38,003 --> 00:30:38,795
Have a good day!
664
00:30:38,879 --> 00:30:40,756
Shh.
665
00:30:40,839 --> 00:30:45,927
Whoa! Oh, you sound like
your Grandpa Frank.
666
00:30:46,011 --> 00:30:48,555
Yes, you do.
667
00:30:48,638 --> 00:30:49,723
Let's see what's going on
in that diaper, huh?
668
00:30:49,806 --> 00:30:53,727
'Cause that's...
a little smelly.
669
00:30:53,810 --> 00:30:56,772
Pee-yew!
670
00:30:56,855 --> 00:30:58,023
I got you. I got you.
671
00:30:58,106 --> 00:30:58,815
I got you.
672
00:31:01,359 --> 00:31:02,944
Whoa!
673
00:31:03,028 --> 00:31:06,948
How'd that much poop
come outta you, huh?
674
00:31:07,032 --> 00:31:10,118
One sec, all right?
One sec.
675
00:31:10,202 --> 00:31:12,621
Okay, here we go.
676
00:31:12,704 --> 00:31:14,831
Here we go.
677
00:31:14,915 --> 00:31:15,749
Ooh, that's black.
678
00:31:15,832 --> 00:31:18,335
Yeah, they said
that'd be black.
679
00:31:18,418 --> 00:31:20,504
I'm really just
smushing it around, aren't I?
680
00:31:20,587 --> 00:31:22,422
Uh...
681
00:31:22,506 --> 00:31:25,175
hey, I got an idea, all right?
682
00:31:32,849 --> 00:31:34,559
I got you.
683
00:31:34,643 --> 00:31:36,728
Ready?
684
00:31:36,812 --> 00:31:38,438
Here we go.
685
00:31:40,398 --> 00:31:43,276
That's good.
Okay.
686
00:31:44,236 --> 00:31:45,362
Okay.
687
00:31:46,696 --> 00:31:47,948
Yeah?
688
00:31:48,031 --> 00:31:48,448
Hey.
689
00:31:48,532 --> 00:31:51,451
Good as new.
690
00:31:51,535 --> 00:31:53,870
All right?
691
00:31:53,954 --> 00:31:55,789
Let's get a new diaper on you
692
00:31:55,872 --> 00:31:57,791
and then we can have our nap,
okay?
693
00:31:57,874 --> 00:32:00,794
I'm just gonna find
a new diaper.
694
00:32:04,464 --> 00:32:05,632
Hospital only gave us
one diaper.
695
00:32:05,715 --> 00:32:11,138
Buddy,
what are we gonna do?
696
00:32:12,848 --> 00:32:15,517
I know.
697
00:32:17,936 --> 00:32:19,813
Here goes another one!
698
00:32:19,896 --> 00:32:21,606
Open it! Open it!
699
00:32:21,690 --> 00:32:24,651
Open it! Open it!
700
00:32:24,734 --> 00:32:26,987
I bet it's another one of those
essential oil diffusers.
701
00:32:27,070 --> 00:32:29,239
It's crazy how many people
ordered that piece of crap.
702
00:32:29,322 --> 00:32:32,409
Hey, I'm excited to use my
piece of crap when I get home.
703
00:32:32,492 --> 00:32:34,744
Another Vitamix!
704
00:32:34,828 --> 00:32:36,163
Yes!
705
00:32:36,246 --> 00:32:39,124
- Let's take it, V.
- We already have one, Kev.
706
00:32:39,207 --> 00:32:41,084
Oh, right.
All right, who wants it?
707
00:32:41,168 --> 00:32:43,420
- Oh, me!
- Me, me, me, me!
708
00:32:43,503 --> 00:32:44,254
Here you go, Kermit.
709
00:32:44,337 --> 00:32:45,964
You haven't had anything
in a while.
710
00:32:46,047 --> 00:32:48,049
- Thank you, Kev.
- You're welcome, buddy.
711
00:32:48,133 --> 00:32:49,342
All right, V.
712
00:32:49,426 --> 00:32:51,094
- Bring the next box out.
- Yeah!
713
00:32:51,178 --> 00:32:54,764
- Come on, now!
- Come on.
714
00:32:54,848 --> 00:32:55,932
- There's nothin' left.
- What?
715
00:32:56,016 --> 00:32:59,186
Don't be greedy.
716
00:32:59,269 --> 00:33:01,146
You just got a bunch
of free stuff.
717
00:33:02,105 --> 00:33:03,565
What about the returns?
718
00:33:04,191 --> 00:33:06,443
- The what?
- Yeah.
719
00:33:06,526 --> 00:33:09,029
OBS guys have to drive
around picking up packages.
720
00:33:10,322 --> 00:33:11,823
That's right.
721
00:33:11,907 --> 00:33:14,075
There must be tons
of stuff out there!
722
00:33:14,159 --> 00:33:16,328
Yeah, well, we're not giving
it away for free this time.
723
00:33:16,411 --> 00:33:17,871
- We're not?
- No! We're gonna
724
00:33:17,954 --> 00:33:19,623
auction that off, make some
money off these ingrates.
725
00:33:19,706 --> 00:33:21,291
Go get that scanner thing
from the dead guy, Kev,
726
00:33:21,374 --> 00:33:23,335
- and pick up the packages.
- Can I drive the van?
727
00:33:23,418 --> 00:33:24,711
Knock yourself out.
728
00:33:24,794 --> 00:33:26,713
I'm gonna take this bassinet
over to Lip.
729
00:33:26,796 --> 00:33:28,924
How attached are you
to that pool?
730
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:36,223
How's it going?
731
00:33:36,306 --> 00:33:38,058
Good. Good.
732
00:33:39,559 --> 00:33:40,268
Well, shit.
733
00:33:40,352 --> 00:33:43,230
Ah, don't let the collar
scare you.
734
00:33:43,313 --> 00:33:45,815
Just trying to make extra money
for the CYO basketball team.
735
00:33:45,899 --> 00:33:47,984
Not here to take you
to heaven... yet.
736
00:33:48,068 --> 00:33:50,445
Or worse,
the downstairs place.
737
00:33:52,155 --> 00:33:54,074
- Abort mission!
- What?
738
00:33:54,157 --> 00:33:55,242
It's a priest!
739
00:33:57,869 --> 00:33:58,662
Ooh!
740
00:33:58,745 --> 00:34:00,497
Heavens to Betsy.
741
00:34:03,833 --> 00:34:04,834
Are you okay?
742
00:34:04,918 --> 00:34:07,796
My leg.
My leg is broken.
743
00:34:07,879 --> 00:34:09,422
Oh, my Go...
Oh, uh, uh...
744
00:34:09,506 --> 00:34:10,924
a priest,
a priest.
745
00:34:11,007 --> 00:34:12,926
That's what I was
trying to tell you.
746
00:34:13,009 --> 00:34:14,844
Oh.
747
00:34:16,179 --> 00:34:17,931
Wait.
What's going on here?
748
00:34:18,014 --> 00:34:19,432
Uh... we're good, Padre.
749
00:34:19,516 --> 00:34:21,101
Praise Jesus.
750
00:34:21,184 --> 00:34:22,936
I've been healed!
751
00:34:23,019 --> 00:34:24,604
Were you two
trying to scam me?
752
00:34:24,688 --> 00:34:26,022
Nah, it's just
a misunderstanding.
753
00:34:26,106 --> 00:34:27,148
We'll be on our way.
754
00:34:28,984 --> 00:34:31,361
If you're in need of money
for a meal, I can help.
755
00:34:32,195 --> 00:34:33,947
- Come again?
- The Lord, of course,
756
00:34:34,030 --> 00:34:36,574
wants you to promise
you won't use it on drugs.
757
00:34:38,326 --> 00:34:40,996
That would be a sin.
758
00:34:41,079 --> 00:34:42,580
- Thank you, Padre.
- Let's get outta here
759
00:34:42,664 --> 00:34:44,916
- before he changes his mind.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
760
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:46,459
Okay, okay.
761
00:34:46,543 --> 00:34:48,503
Booze or coke
or a little of both, Frank?
762
00:34:48,586 --> 00:34:50,422
What do you say?
What do you say?
763
00:34:51,715 --> 00:34:54,551
What happened?
764
00:34:54,634 --> 00:34:55,760
Why ain't you happy?
765
00:34:55,844 --> 00:34:58,013
We got ten dollars.
766
00:34:58,096 --> 00:35:01,266
Ten dollars is not
gonna solve our problem.
767
00:35:01,349 --> 00:35:02,767
She's gonna kick us out.
768
00:35:02,851 --> 00:35:04,686
We gotta find a place
to sleep.
769
00:35:04,769 --> 00:35:06,438
It pisses me off.
770
00:35:06,521 --> 00:35:08,315
I got an inheritance
waiting for me,
771
00:35:08,398 --> 00:35:10,775
and Debbie's
holding it hostage.
772
00:35:12,027 --> 00:35:13,945
You know what
your problem is?
773
00:35:14,029 --> 00:35:16,197
You let women
run your life:
774
00:35:16,281 --> 00:35:18,325
your daughters,
your dead wife,
775
00:35:18,408 --> 00:35:19,909
your mother too, I bet.
776
00:35:19,993 --> 00:35:20,952
It's true.
777
00:35:21,036 --> 00:35:23,330
She made me pee sitting down.
778
00:35:23,413 --> 00:35:26,166
Said I splashed
on her magazines.
779
00:35:26,249 --> 00:35:27,917
Those female types
have pussy-whipped
780
00:35:28,001 --> 00:35:32,672
the masculinity from your soul.
781
00:35:32,756 --> 00:35:34,716
They have.
782
00:35:34,799 --> 00:35:37,135
You know,
because of men like you,
783
00:35:37,218 --> 00:35:40,930
women like Debbie
feel entitled and empowered.
784
00:35:41,014 --> 00:35:42,265
They do.
785
00:35:42,349 --> 00:35:44,726
You need to break
the cycle, Frank!
786
00:35:44,809 --> 00:35:46,019
Press the reset button.
787
00:35:46,102 --> 00:35:49,481
You need to reclaim
your patriarchy.
788
00:35:51,566 --> 00:35:52,525
Let's go back
to the house,
789
00:35:52,609 --> 00:35:56,780
storm that castle,
and take back what's yours.
790
00:35:56,863 --> 00:35:58,990
- Yes!
- Yes!
791
00:36:02,285 --> 00:36:03,453
You're hurting me.
792
00:36:03,536 --> 00:36:05,413
- Whoa, whoa.
- Come on!
793
00:36:24,808 --> 00:36:27,727
All right.
794
00:36:27,811 --> 00:36:29,813
All right.
795
00:36:29,896 --> 00:36:31,690
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
796
00:36:31,773 --> 00:36:32,857
It's all right, buddy, okay?
797
00:36:32,941 --> 00:36:36,111
It's all right.
798
00:36:36,194 --> 00:36:38,571
It's all right.
You can stop crying, all right?
799
00:36:38,655 --> 00:36:39,864
Here we go.
800
00:36:39,948 --> 00:36:43,743
Here we go. Here we go.
801
00:36:43,827 --> 00:36:46,037
Hey, there you go, okay?
802
00:36:46,121 --> 00:36:48,873
I'm gonna go to the bathroom
real quick, okay, okay?
803
00:36:48,957 --> 00:36:50,667
Then I'm gonna come
right back.
804
00:36:50,750 --> 00:36:52,127
We'll take a nap together,
all right?
805
00:36:52,210 --> 00:36:54,421
All right, shh, shh.
806
00:36:54,504 --> 00:36:55,797
Stay right there, okay?
807
00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:57,298
Stay right there.
Stay right there.
808
00:36:57,382 --> 00:36:58,883
Okay.
809
00:37:02,011 --> 00:37:04,431
All right, I'm going
to the bathroom now, okay?
810
00:37:11,771 --> 00:37:14,399
I don't know how people go
to the bathroom with babies.
811
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:20,572
I don't know how people do much
of anything with babies.
812
00:37:23,199 --> 00:37:26,453
I don't think I'm gonna
be able to...
813
00:37:27,746 --> 00:37:30,957
...take a shower till your mom
gets outta the hospital,
814
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:33,668
you know?
815
00:37:39,674 --> 00:37:40,884
Shit.
816
00:37:45,054 --> 00:37:48,641
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
817
00:37:48,725 --> 00:37:50,685
Where'd you go?
818
00:37:50,769 --> 00:37:51,394
Where'd you... go?
819
00:37:51,478 --> 00:37:52,937
How... does this even happen?
820
00:37:53,021 --> 00:37:55,648
You were right... here.
821
00:37:55,732 --> 00:37:57,984
You were right here.
822
00:37:58,067 --> 00:37:59,527
Are you serious?
I lost my baby?
823
00:37:59,611 --> 00:38:01,321
Fuck.
Freddie?
824
00:38:01,404 --> 00:38:03,865
Maybe he ran away
because you named him Freddie.
825
00:38:03,948 --> 00:38:06,201
Hey.
826
00:38:06,284 --> 00:38:08,161
Hey.
827
00:38:08,244 --> 00:38:11,164
And he has on
a sanitary pad with wings?
828
00:38:11,247 --> 00:38:12,165
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I ran outta diapers.
829
00:38:12,248 --> 00:38:15,168
You can't leave a baby
alone like that.
830
00:38:15,251 --> 00:38:17,462
- I fell asleep.
- You can't fall asleep.
831
00:38:17,545 --> 00:38:18,838
Hey, it was two seconds.
832
00:38:18,922 --> 00:38:20,548
Something could have
fell on him.
833
00:38:20,632 --> 00:38:22,008
Someone could have
stepped on him.
834
00:38:22,091 --> 00:38:23,468
Yeah, well, there's
no one else here, so...
835
00:38:25,136 --> 00:38:29,307
When's Tami gettin' out?
836
00:38:29,390 --> 00:38:32,644
She's still in ICU.
I-I don't know.
837
00:38:35,188 --> 00:38:37,440
I brought you
a baby gift.
838
00:38:37,524 --> 00:38:40,902
It's a bassinet,
but you need to assemble it.
839
00:38:45,740 --> 00:38:47,867
V... I'm tired, you know?
840
00:38:47,951 --> 00:38:51,412
Welcome to parenthood.
841
00:38:51,496 --> 00:38:52,705
You're only supposed to wear
842
00:38:52,789 --> 00:38:55,208
one of those nicotine patches
at a time.
843
00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:02,715
So... here we are.
844
00:39:02,799 --> 00:39:04,884
Yup.
845
00:39:04,968 --> 00:39:07,053
Do you do this with a lot
of women at the store?
846
00:39:07,136 --> 00:39:09,264
I get a fair amount
of play.
847
00:39:09,347 --> 00:39:11,391
Really?
848
00:39:11,474 --> 00:39:12,892
Why do you say it
like that?
849
00:39:12,976 --> 00:39:15,478
Shoe salesman?
850
00:39:15,562 --> 00:39:17,146
I'm actually a violinist.
851
00:39:17,230 --> 00:39:19,774
Oh! Yeah?
852
00:39:19,858 --> 00:39:20,608
Classically trained.
853
00:39:20,692 --> 00:39:22,694
Studied at Berkeley
School of Music.
854
00:39:22,777 --> 00:39:24,028
Oh... that's cool.
855
00:39:24,112 --> 00:39:26,906
I bet you're pretty good.
856
00:39:26,990 --> 00:39:29,033
Bring my violin to work
with me every day,
857
00:39:29,117 --> 00:39:32,203
thinking I'll...
play it at lunch.
858
00:39:32,287 --> 00:39:34,122
Instead I go
to Wetzel's Pretzel.
859
00:39:34,205 --> 00:39:36,207
I'm sure lots
of famous musicians
860
00:39:36,291 --> 00:39:37,500
hang out at the food court.
861
00:39:39,002 --> 00:39:40,420
You ready?
862
00:39:40,503 --> 00:39:42,005
Wait.
863
00:39:42,088 --> 00:39:44,591
You think I like
looking at feet all day?
864
00:39:44,674 --> 00:39:47,135
Isn't that your job?
865
00:39:47,218 --> 00:39:50,346
I hate it.
I hate myself.
866
00:39:50,430 --> 00:39:53,266
That's why I try
to get women to blow me.
867
00:39:53,349 --> 00:39:55,143
Does it make you feel
any better about yourself?
868
00:39:55,226 --> 00:39:55,518
For a few minutes.
869
00:39:57,395 --> 00:40:00,565
Until
the self-loathing comes back.
870
00:40:00,648 --> 00:40:01,649
- Shall we do this?
- No, don't.
871
00:40:04,068 --> 00:40:06,654
I don't want...
872
00:40:06,738 --> 00:40:09,157
blow jobs from
random women anymore.
873
00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:10,533
No?
874
00:40:12,243 --> 00:40:14,370
I'm gonna give my notice.
875
00:40:14,454 --> 00:40:16,789
- What about my shoes?
- Keep 'em.
876
00:40:16,873 --> 00:40:18,041
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
877
00:40:19,626 --> 00:40:20,627
I'm going back
to the violin.
878
00:40:25,089 --> 00:40:28,968
Hey. What's goin' on?
879
00:40:29,052 --> 00:40:32,347
Why am I different
from everyone in my family?
880
00:40:32,430 --> 00:40:35,683
It's like, if I was adopted,
I would understand.
881
00:40:35,767 --> 00:40:37,143
But it's like I spun
the roulette wheel
882
00:40:37,226 --> 00:40:38,519
and landed on black.
883
00:40:38,603 --> 00:40:42,398
Because once upon a time,
a slave owner raped a slave.
884
00:40:42,482 --> 00:40:44,484
But now I'm being raised
by a bunch of crackers,
885
00:40:44,567 --> 00:40:45,610
and they won't even
give me the talk.
886
00:40:45,693 --> 00:40:48,321
You don't know about
the birds and the bees yet?
887
00:40:48,404 --> 00:40:49,781
Yeah. I've known
since I was six.
888
00:40:49,864 --> 00:40:53,701
The talk of how to survive
as a black man in America.
889
00:40:56,913 --> 00:40:58,498
Yo, yo, yo.
890
00:40:58,581 --> 00:40:59,415
That's a lotta returns.
891
00:40:59,499 --> 00:41:01,918
Yeah, this scanner machine
thingy
892
00:41:02,001 --> 00:41:03,670
is fun as shit.
893
00:41:11,594 --> 00:41:13,554
Can I help you?
894
00:41:26,693 --> 00:41:29,028
- Bye, Lori.
- See ya tomorrow.
895
00:41:29,112 --> 00:41:32,240
Unless I see you tonight when
you sneak into my apartment,
896
00:41:32,323 --> 00:41:33,366
'cause you know I leave
my key under my mat.
897
00:41:33,449 --> 00:41:35,785
Isn't that sexual harassment?
898
00:41:35,868 --> 00:41:37,537
It doesn't count
when you're a dude.
899
00:41:37,620 --> 00:41:38,538
Oh.
900
00:41:43,209 --> 00:41:44,293
So what's your deal?
901
00:41:45,837 --> 00:41:47,171
Meaning?
902
00:41:47,255 --> 00:41:49,507
- Well, you look like a chola.
- Excuse me?
903
00:41:49,590 --> 00:41:51,384
And there's been a whole lot
of little Mexican kids
904
00:41:51,467 --> 00:41:52,885
coming in here
to get takeout food today.
905
00:41:52,969 --> 00:41:53,886
You're making this
a race thing.
906
00:41:53,970 --> 00:41:55,763
No. I'm just wondering
if you're running
907
00:41:55,847 --> 00:41:58,266
some type of game up in here.
908
00:41:58,349 --> 00:42:00,059
The only game I'm running
909
00:42:00,143 --> 00:42:02,061
is expanding the Captain Bob
shrimp business
910
00:42:02,145 --> 00:42:03,021
to the Hispanic community.
911
00:42:12,989 --> 00:42:14,532
Tartar sauce.
912
00:42:18,369 --> 00:42:20,913
Vape?
Damn, girl.
913
00:42:22,957 --> 00:42:24,542
I am man!
914
00:42:24,625 --> 00:42:25,918
Hear me roar!
915
00:42:26,002 --> 00:42:26,961
Rahh!
916
00:42:29,213 --> 00:42:30,048
Oh, shit.
917
00:42:32,341 --> 00:42:34,260
They're takin' my couch!
918
00:42:34,343 --> 00:42:36,763
Hey, leave that right there!
919
00:42:36,846 --> 00:42:37,889
That's my couch!
920
00:42:37,972 --> 00:42:40,767
Perfect.
Couch is perfect right there.
921
00:42:40,850 --> 00:42:43,102
We do not need this couch.
922
00:42:43,186 --> 00:42:44,520
Now, take it back right now.
923
00:42:44,604 --> 00:42:47,440
Sorry, man.
We just deliver shit.
924
00:42:47,523 --> 00:42:49,484
Ah, so comfy.
925
00:42:49,567 --> 00:42:51,527
And look, no fecal stains.
926
00:42:51,611 --> 00:42:53,279
That's my money
you're sittin' on.
927
00:42:53,362 --> 00:42:55,907
We needed a new couch, Frank.
So I took care of it.
928
00:42:55,990 --> 00:42:58,117
How 'bout you thank me
instead of bitching at me?
929
00:42:58,868 --> 00:43:01,120
- $600?
- Wait, what?
930
00:43:01,204 --> 00:43:02,622
- What?
- Nice things cost.
931
00:43:02,705 --> 00:43:03,956
Yeah, but it's
our money too.
932
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:06,167
Yeah, we should have a say
in what we buy.
933
00:43:06,250 --> 00:43:07,293
Yeah, I mean, it'd be nice
934
00:43:07,376 --> 00:43:08,211
to have some cash
to buy diapers
935
00:43:08,294 --> 00:43:10,379
instead of using
your sanitary pads.
936
00:43:10,463 --> 00:43:14,092
I, for one, am tired of being
repressed and controlled
937
00:43:14,175 --> 00:43:16,219
by the women in this family.
938
00:43:16,302 --> 00:43:17,678
Are you with me, gentlemen?
939
00:43:17,762 --> 00:43:19,180
It might just be
the sleep deprivation,
940
00:43:19,263 --> 00:43:21,265
but I kind of agree
with Frank.
941
00:43:21,349 --> 00:43:22,892
You know, me too.
Debbie and Fiona
942
00:43:22,975 --> 00:43:24,310
have been bitching at us
our whole lives.
943
00:43:24,393 --> 00:43:26,104
Look what you've done.
944
00:43:26,187 --> 00:43:27,480
Are you proud of yourself?
945
00:43:27,563 --> 00:43:29,398
No one wants you
to be in charge.
946
00:43:29,482 --> 00:43:31,484
We didn't elect you.
947
00:43:31,567 --> 00:43:34,487
We're on best behavior
for this little infant boy
948
00:43:34,570 --> 00:43:36,614
who still stands a chance
of feeling like a man someday.
949
00:43:36,697 --> 00:43:39,742
Oh, fuck you guys.
I don't need this shit.
950
00:43:39,826 --> 00:43:42,870
Fiona left me the money.
You don't like it, leave.
951
00:43:42,954 --> 00:43:46,082
Just like a bully
to say something like that.
952
00:43:49,043 --> 00:43:50,253
Who wants a beer and chicken?
953
00:43:51,712 --> 00:43:54,382
Ah, dude, your kid
smells like an ashtray.
954
00:44:24,662 --> 00:44:27,707
- Dude, I'm stabbing him.
- Not if I get there first.
955
00:44:27,790 --> 00:44:29,333
I have the shiv.
956
00:44:29,417 --> 00:44:31,502
Enzo slipped me his
through the vent, bitch.
957
00:44:36,549 --> 00:44:38,134
Oh!
Shit!
958
00:44:38,217 --> 00:44:40,052
Christ on a cross!
959
00:44:40,136 --> 00:44:41,554
Ohh!
960
00:44:41,637 --> 00:44:43,973
The arm?
Weak.
961
00:44:44,056 --> 00:44:45,391
- Oh!
- Chester, it's Ian.
962
00:44:45,474 --> 00:44:46,100
You get to stay.
I stabbed you.
963
00:44:46,184 --> 00:44:48,311
No, no, no.
964
00:44:48,394 --> 00:44:49,770
Jesus Christ!
965
00:44:49,854 --> 00:44:51,480
Mick, you're gonna
fucking kill him!
966
00:44:51,564 --> 00:44:53,232
What are you two morons
doing?
967
00:44:53,316 --> 00:44:54,692
Hey, I stabbed Chester.
Send me to solitary, okay?
968
00:44:54,775 --> 00:44:57,236
No, no, no.
He's taking the fall for me.
969
00:44:57,320 --> 00:44:58,821
Thank you.
I-I stabbed this piece of shit.
970
00:44:58,905 --> 00:44:59,739
- No, I fuckin' stabbed in.
- Jesus, Chester.
971
00:44:59,822 --> 00:45:02,491
You got two of them
to do it this time?
972
00:45:02,575 --> 00:45:03,743
This time?
973
00:45:03,826 --> 00:45:05,703
He does this
every couple months.
974
00:45:05,786 --> 00:45:06,454
Makes a deal with an inmate
to stab him
975
00:45:06,537 --> 00:45:09,498
so he can postpone his release.
976
00:45:11,834 --> 00:45:13,753
You two idiots
are comin' with me. Go.
977
00:45:13,836 --> 00:45:14,754
- Y...
- Hey, I'm bleedin' out
978
00:45:14,837 --> 00:45:17,423
- over here.
- Calm down, Chester.
979
00:45:17,506 --> 00:45:19,300
I'll call the medic.
980
00:45:44,700 --> 00:45:48,996
What are you up to...
Deb-or-ah?
981
00:45:57,546 --> 00:46:00,925
Your mommy's gonna love you
so much, you know?
982
00:46:01,008 --> 00:46:03,803
She is.
Maybe not as much as me, but...
983
00:46:03,886 --> 00:46:06,180
it's gonna be pretty close.
984
00:46:06,264 --> 00:46:09,934
She's gonna gobble up
those teeny-tiny hands.
985
00:46:10,017 --> 00:46:10,977
Yeah.
986
00:46:11,060 --> 00:46:15,606
And those teeny-tiny ears too.
Huh? I'm sorry.
987
00:46:15,690 --> 00:46:18,442
And then you know
what she's gonna do?
988
00:46:20,403 --> 00:46:23,072
One, two, three,
989
00:46:23,155 --> 00:46:24,865
four, five.
990
00:46:24,949 --> 00:46:27,618
Oh, shit, dude.
991
00:46:31,914 --> 00:46:32,623
Okay, here we go.
Here we go.
992
00:46:32,707 --> 00:46:34,542
I got you, bud. I got you.
993
00:46:34,625 --> 00:46:37,795
I got you. I got you.
994
00:46:41,674 --> 00:46:44,010
Everything okay in there?
995
00:46:45,094 --> 00:46:46,178
I almost dropped him.
996
00:46:46,262 --> 00:46:48,973
Ah.
997
00:46:49,056 --> 00:46:50,433
Don't worry if you do.
998
00:46:50,516 --> 00:46:52,768
They're made of Jell-O
the first few months.
999
00:46:54,729 --> 00:46:58,941
He'll be fine.
You won't hurt him.
1000
00:47:02,194 --> 00:47:03,821
Get some sleep, son.
1001
00:47:06,115 --> 00:47:06,949
You look tired.
1002
00:47:29,638 --> 00:47:32,475
Well, well.
1003
00:47:32,558 --> 00:47:35,227
What do we have here?
1004
00:47:35,311 --> 00:47:36,896
Mikey?
1005
00:47:36,979 --> 00:47:39,148
I'm not Mikey.
1006
00:47:39,231 --> 00:47:41,317
Jesus,
did you follow me here?
1007
00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:43,319
I'm a dangerous man
1008
00:47:43,402 --> 00:47:45,321
with a scary knife.
1009
00:47:45,404 --> 00:47:48,491
And... and...
1010
00:47:48,574 --> 00:47:50,951
I can't breathe
in this thing.
1011
00:47:51,035 --> 00:47:52,953
A little help here,
please.
1012
00:47:53,037 --> 00:47:56,040
- Ooh!
- What the hell do you want?
1013
00:47:58,626 --> 00:47:59,877
Huh.
1014
00:48:11,347 --> 00:48:13,391
You steal all this stuff?
1015
00:48:14,517 --> 00:48:16,227
None of your business.
1016
00:48:17,353 --> 00:48:18,771
"Purchase date."
1017
00:48:21,315 --> 00:48:21,982
"Return by date."
1018
00:48:24,235 --> 00:48:25,361
So you're buying this shit,
1019
00:48:25,444 --> 00:48:28,030
using it,
1020
00:48:28,114 --> 00:48:29,115
and returning it, aren't you?
1021
00:48:30,699 --> 00:48:33,285
Get out of my she-shed.
1022
00:48:33,369 --> 00:48:35,287
Oh, I will.
1023
00:48:35,371 --> 00:48:38,082
I will, as soon as you answer
this one question for me.
1024
00:48:41,168 --> 00:48:42,545
Who's your daddy?
1025
00:48:42,628 --> 00:48:44,588
Why are men so pervy?
1026
00:48:44,672 --> 00:48:47,216
I am not blowing you!
1027
00:48:48,092 --> 00:48:50,970
Who said anything
about blowing me?
1028
00:48:51,053 --> 00:48:52,972
You just asked,
"Who's your daddy?"
1029
00:48:53,055 --> 00:48:55,808
I meant that in a real way,
not a sexual way.
1030
00:48:55,891 --> 00:48:59,145
Frank is my best friend!
You're practically my daughter.
1031
00:48:59,228 --> 00:49:01,605
Uh, yeah, no, I'm not.
1032
00:49:01,689 --> 00:49:03,858
Who's your daddy?
1033
00:49:03,941 --> 00:49:09,071
As in, you need
to respect him.
1034
00:49:09,155 --> 00:49:10,156
Hell no.
1035
00:49:11,657 --> 00:49:13,701
Well, then...
1036
00:49:13,784 --> 00:49:16,495
you leave me no choice.
1037
00:49:16,579 --> 00:49:17,955
No!
1038
00:49:18,038 --> 00:49:19,248
Don't.
1039
00:49:19,331 --> 00:49:24,003
You get these back when Frank
is head of the household
1040
00:49:24,086 --> 00:49:25,045
and in charge
of the family money.
1041
00:49:25,129 --> 00:49:27,339
You don't think I can
deck you right now?
1042
00:49:27,423 --> 00:49:30,676
You don't think I could eat
these receipts right now?
1043
00:49:30,759 --> 00:49:32,219
Don't eat that!
1044
00:49:32,303 --> 00:49:34,346
You know what you
have to do.
1045
00:49:37,433 --> 00:49:38,517
You got 24 hours.
1046
00:49:38,601 --> 00:49:41,604
Make things right.
1047
00:49:48,110 --> 00:49:49,695
Fuck!
1048
00:50:18,724 --> 00:50:19,558
Quit tomorrow, okay?
1049
00:50:58,138 --> 00:50:59,557
Sleep well, my prince,
1050
00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:02,351
for tomorrow...
1051
00:51:02,434 --> 00:51:04,103
you shall be king.
1052
00:51:05,479 --> 00:51:06,438
Yeah.
1053
00:51:15,573 --> 00:51:18,075
Wake up!
1054
00:51:18,158 --> 00:51:20,494
Get up, Gallaghers.
1055
00:51:20,578 --> 00:51:21,245
I just got Freddie
back down.
1056
00:51:21,328 --> 00:51:23,372
You wake him,
so help me, God.
1057
00:51:23,455 --> 00:51:25,040
Yeah, I know you're gonna
throw out my breakfast
1058
00:51:25,124 --> 00:51:27,418
- if I'm not down in time.
- What is it this time, Debs?
1059
00:51:27,501 --> 00:51:28,210
Cover your tits,
everyone.
1060
00:51:28,294 --> 00:51:30,504
- She may have a knife.
- Shh!
1061
00:51:30,588 --> 00:51:32,006
No knives.
What I do have, however,
1062
00:51:32,089 --> 00:51:35,509
are ATM cards,
one for the each of you.
1063
00:51:35,593 --> 00:51:36,552
What?
1064
00:51:36,635 --> 00:51:39,471
Hundred bucks on each,
to be replaced weekly.
1065
00:51:39,555 --> 00:51:40,806
- Sweet.
- 'Bout time.
1066
00:51:40,889 --> 00:51:42,016
Well, I really should get
more on mine.
1067
00:51:42,099 --> 00:51:43,976
I realized that I've been
holding power over all of you
1068
00:51:44,059 --> 00:51:46,395
because I feel shitty
about myself.
1069
00:51:46,478 --> 00:51:48,105
Uh, you only pull wings
off a fly
1070
00:51:48,188 --> 00:51:50,149
because you're dead inside,
right?
1071
00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:55,738
So... one for you...
1072
00:51:55,821 --> 00:51:57,448
and you...
1073
00:51:57,531 --> 00:51:58,824
you.
1074
00:51:58,907 --> 00:52:00,451
Frank,
1075
00:52:00,534 --> 00:52:01,619
if you wanna take over
as head of the household,
1076
00:52:01,702 --> 00:52:02,703
please do.
1077
00:52:02,786 --> 00:52:04,496
It's a shit job.
1078
00:52:09,585 --> 00:52:13,005
My receipts.
1079
00:52:27,227 --> 00:52:29,355
I can't believe that's
what you wanted to buy
1080
00:52:29,438 --> 00:52:30,481
with your money.
1081
00:52:30,564 --> 00:52:31,982
Gotta start a business, son.
1082
00:52:32,066 --> 00:52:33,859
Can't get ahead
on a fry cook's salary.
1083
00:52:33,942 --> 00:52:34,652
Plus, it's better than
that shitty ancestry kit
1084
00:52:34,735 --> 00:52:36,236
you wanted to buy.
1085
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:38,030
- Just wanna know who I am.
- You're a Gallagher.
1086
00:52:38,113 --> 00:52:41,450
- Same as me.
- I'm black.
1087
00:52:41,533 --> 00:52:42,701
Yeah, and you get
to check the black card
1088
00:52:42,785 --> 00:52:43,911
for the rest of your life.
1089
00:52:43,994 --> 00:52:45,079
Move to the front of the line.
You got it made.
1090
00:52:45,162 --> 00:52:47,498
Except I can't walk down
the street wearing a hoodie
1091
00:52:47,581 --> 00:52:50,668
without worrying that a cop's
gonna put me in a chokehold.
1092
00:52:50,751 --> 00:52:52,544
You can just pick up
your order over there.
1093
00:52:54,588 --> 00:52:55,881
Hey, Anne,
I got a proposition for you.
1094
00:52:55,964 --> 00:52:58,384
I know you're selling
vape pens
1095
00:52:58,467 --> 00:52:59,343
to little Mexican kids.
1096
00:52:59,426 --> 00:53:02,388
- That is not what I'm d...
- Don't argue.
1097
00:53:02,471 --> 00:53:03,972
I already looked
in your tartar sauce box.
1098
00:53:04,056 --> 00:53:05,474
- Is than a euphemism?
- No.
1099
00:53:05,557 --> 00:53:07,601
And I wanna go
into business with you.
1100
00:53:07,685 --> 00:53:09,269
Why would I do that?
1101
00:53:09,353 --> 00:53:11,188
Well, because you only have
the Hispanic market,
1102
00:53:11,271 --> 00:53:13,816
and if you wanna expand
your business,
1103
00:53:13,899 --> 00:53:15,693
you gotta tap into the underage
white kids that I know
1104
00:53:15,776 --> 00:53:18,028
- and black kids...
- That I know.
1105
00:53:18,112 --> 00:53:21,240
So you and I are partners now.
We'll split profits 50-50.
1106
00:53:21,323 --> 00:53:22,408
Liam and I will go
to the playground,
1107
00:53:22,491 --> 00:53:23,033
round up new buyers.
1108
00:53:23,117 --> 00:53:25,953
And here's your supplies.
1109
00:53:32,042 --> 00:53:33,669
Menthol?
1110
00:53:33,752 --> 00:53:34,461
Trust me, my customers
will love it.
1111
00:53:47,057 --> 00:53:48,100
- I stabbed him first.
- No, you did not.
1112
00:53:48,183 --> 00:53:49,518
- Oh, shut up.
- You shut up.
1113
00:53:49,601 --> 00:53:50,644
Don't fuckin' tell me
what to do.
1114
00:53:50,728 --> 00:53:51,937
If you shut
your fuckin' pie hole,
1115
00:53:52,020 --> 00:53:52,771
I wouldn't have
to tell you what to do.
1116
00:53:52,855 --> 00:53:53,897
Yeah, please,
that'll be the day,
1117
00:53:53,981 --> 00:53:55,983
when Ian Gallagher doesn't
nag the shit outta my ass
1118
00:53:56,066 --> 00:53:57,568
and tell me what to do
about somethin'!
1119
00:53:57,651 --> 00:53:58,986
You know, if you just
wiped the toilet seat
1120
00:53:59,069 --> 00:54:00,529
for once in your life,
I wouldn't fuckin' nag you.
1121
00:54:00,612 --> 00:54:01,780
If you just, like, picked up
your nail clippings...
1122
00:54:01,864 --> 00:54:02,531
Who gives a shit
about any of that?
1123
00:54:02,614 --> 00:54:03,657
We're in fuckin' prison!
1124
00:54:03,741 --> 00:54:05,409
- I do, you fuckin' pig.
- That's the problem.
1125
00:54:05,492 --> 00:54:06,452
You sound like
a couple of old broads.
1126
00:54:06,535 --> 00:54:09,163
I'ma murder you two
if you don't stop talkin'.
1127
00:54:19,923 --> 00:54:21,633
Hi, Frank.
1128
00:54:22,551 --> 00:54:24,595
Give us a hand here,
would you, kid?
1129
00:54:27,055 --> 00:54:29,224
Hey, Frank, do you know
who banged a black person
1130
00:54:29,308 --> 00:54:30,934
in our family lineage?
1131
00:54:31,018 --> 00:54:34,188
Yeah, someone from your
mother's grandfather's
1132
00:54:34,271 --> 00:54:36,982
side of the family
had a mistress.
1133
00:54:37,065 --> 00:54:38,817
- And she was black?
- She is black.
1134
00:54:38,901 --> 00:54:40,486
She's still alive?
1135
00:54:40,569 --> 00:54:42,196
Lives down the street.
1136
00:54:42,279 --> 00:54:43,614
What?
1137
00:54:51,246 --> 00:54:53,582
Why didn't you tell me?
1138
00:54:54,416 --> 00:54:56,251
Get away from the house,
Frank.
1139
00:54:56,335 --> 00:54:57,669
You know the rules.
1140
00:55:00,964 --> 00:55:02,341
That's why, son.
1141
00:55:16,480 --> 00:55:19,483
Oh, shit.
Not again.
79329
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