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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:25,587 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:00:28,370 --> 00:00:30,038 I'm gonna miss you so much. 3 00:00:30,122 --> 00:00:32,791 Well, you'll come and visit me and, uh, I'll call. 4 00:00:32,874 --> 00:00:35,294 - I love you so much. - Oh, me, too. 5 00:00:39,131 --> 00:00:40,966 Still some packing to do. 6 00:00:41,049 --> 00:00:42,801 Got a big day tomorrow. 7 00:00:42,885 --> 00:00:45,470 - Okay, Mom. I'm coming. - Early start and a long drive. 8 00:00:45,554 --> 00:00:46,555 Goodbye. 9 00:00:46,638 --> 00:00:48,223 ANNIE: Bye, Mrs. Sawyer. (CHUCKLES) JASON: Bye. 10 00:00:48,307 --> 00:00:49,766 - She hates me. - No she doesn't. 11 00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:52,561 - She doesn't. - No, she really, really does. 12 00:00:52,644 --> 00:00:53,896 But I love you. Okay? 13 00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:58,150 I... I gotta go. I'll call you when I get there. 14 00:00:58,233 --> 00:00:59,526 Call me from the road. 15 00:00:59,610 --> 00:01:01,778 Okay, it's a three-hour drive to Michigan State. 16 00:01:01,862 --> 00:01:04,238 We're gonna be okay. I'll see you soon. 17 00:01:04,322 --> 00:01:06,450 - Okay. Mmm-hmm. - Promise. 18 00:01:10,203 --> 00:01:12,039 You bet your ass you will. 19 00:01:12,831 --> 00:01:14,833 {\an8}(ROCK SONG PLAYING) 20 00:01:29,932 --> 00:01:34,019 Sittin' here eatin' my heart out, waitin' 21 00:01:34,102 --> 00:01:37,689 {\an8}Waitin' for some lover to call 22 00:01:37,773 --> 00:01:42,402 {\an8}- Dialed about a thousand numbers lately - (TYPING) 23 00:01:42,486 --> 00:01:44,696 {\an8}Almost rang the phone off the wall 24 00:01:46,031 --> 00:01:49,701 {\an8}Lookin' for a lover who needs another 25 00:01:49,785 --> 00:01:52,746 {\an8}- Don't want another night on my own - (COUGHING) 26 00:01:53,956 --> 00:01:57,918 Wanna share my love with a warm-blooded lover 27 00:01:58,001 --> 00:02:01,171 {\an8}Wanna bring a wild man back home 28 00:02:02,005 --> 00:02:03,006 {\an8}Oh, shit. 29 00:02:03,090 --> 00:02:04,883 {\an8}Gotta have some hot love baby, this evenin' 30 00:02:04,967 --> 00:02:08,511 {\an8}I need some hot stuff, baby, tonight 31 00:02:09,303 --> 00:02:13,684 {\an8}I want some hot stuff, baby, this evenin' 32 00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:16,061 {\an8}- Gotta have some lovin' - (GRUNTS) 33 00:02:16,144 --> 00:02:18,480 {\an8}Gotta have some love tonight 34 00:02:18,564 --> 00:02:19,773 - Hot stuff - (YELLS) 35 00:02:19,856 --> 00:02:20,857 (FABRIC RIPPING) 36 00:02:21,525 --> 00:02:23,151 Oh, no. 37 00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:28,156 Oh. Yeah, I'm bare back there. Okay. 38 00:02:28,532 --> 00:02:29,950 (OVEN TIMER BEEPING) 39 00:02:30,826 --> 00:02:31,827 (SOFTLY) Shit. 40 00:02:36,039 --> 00:02:37,165 {\an8}Oh, god damn it. God damn it. 41 00:02:46,675 --> 00:02:47,676 {\an8}-(TEARS) - (YELLS) 42 00:02:47,759 --> 00:02:48,760 {\an8}-(DOG BARKING) - (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 43 00:02:48,844 --> 00:02:51,221 {\an8}I need hot stuff 44 00:02:52,848 --> 00:02:53,849 {\an8}PATRICIA: Hello? 45 00:02:53,932 --> 00:02:57,728 {\an8}I want some hot stuff That's right 46 00:03:00,856 --> 00:03:02,149 {\an8}Hello? 47 00:03:06,528 --> 00:03:09,323 {\an8}ANNIE: Yeah. Okay. Here we go. 48 00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:10,949 {\an8}(GRUNTING) 49 00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:13,994 {\an8}(TIMER BEEPS) 50 00:03:15,454 --> 00:03:16,705 {\an8}Oh... 51 00:03:23,754 --> 00:03:25,047 {\an8}(EXHALES) 52 00:03:27,174 --> 00:03:28,175 {\an8}(GRUNTS) 53 00:03:28,508 --> 00:03:29,509 {\an8}-Oh, yeah. - (SONG CONTINUES) 54 00:03:29,593 --> 00:03:33,472 {\an8}Hot, hot, hot, hot stuff 55 00:03:33,555 --> 00:03:35,432 {\an8}Hot, hot, hot 56 00:03:37,559 --> 00:03:38,560 {\an8}Oh, shit. 57 00:03:38,644 --> 00:03:41,355 {\an8}Hot, hot, hot, hot stuff 58 00:03:41,438 --> 00:03:44,399 {\an8}Hot, hot, hot 59 00:03:44,483 --> 00:03:49,238 {\an8}How's about some hot stuff baby, this evenin'? 60 00:03:49,321 --> 00:03:51,323 {\an8}Ooh, I need your loving 61 00:03:51,406 --> 00:03:53,659 {\an8}Gotta have your hot stuff tonight 62 00:03:53,742 --> 00:03:55,035 {\an8}Hot stuff 63 00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:57,204 {\an8}(PORN ACTRESS MOANING IN VIDEO) 64 00:03:59,748 --> 00:04:01,124 - Annie? - Hi. 65 00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:02,209 - Oh! - (SONG CONTINUES) 66 00:04:02,292 --> 00:04:03,293 Hot stuff 67 00:04:03,752 --> 00:04:05,254 - (SONG ENDS) - PORN ACTRESS: Oh, yes! 68 00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:06,380 Oh... 69 00:04:07,756 --> 00:04:08,757 {\an8}(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 70 00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:12,386 Patricia! I'm dying for a piece of that pie, hon. 71 00:04:12,469 --> 00:04:13,720 (TV PLAYING) 72 00:04:15,722 --> 00:04:17,348 - Surprise. - What are you doin'? 73 00:04:17,432 --> 00:04:19,685 You leave for college tomorrow and I wanted to give you 74 00:04:19,768 --> 00:04:21,812 a night to remember. 75 00:04:23,021 --> 00:04:24,231 - Sex. - Oh. 76 00:04:24,314 --> 00:04:25,732 - I want to give you sex. - Sure. Yeah. 77 00:04:25,857 --> 00:04:27,776 - Sex with me, tonight, now. - Yeah. Yeah, okay. 78 00:04:27,859 --> 00:04:29,194 - (CHUCKLES) - Cool. I just... 79 00:04:29,278 --> 00:04:30,737 I thought you didn't want to. 80 00:04:30,821 --> 00:04:33,156 Oh, of course I want to. 81 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,450 - I just want it to be special. - Yeah. 82 00:04:35,534 --> 00:04:37,578 - And romantic. And perfect. - Right. Yeah. 83 00:04:37,661 --> 00:04:40,330 I love you and I wanna lose my virginity to you. 84 00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:42,499 Oh, that's... That's so nice. 85 00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:44,293 - That is a Christmas card. - That's what I said. 86 00:04:44,376 --> 00:04:47,671 - I'm gonna take a picture. - My parents would love to see his face. 87 00:04:48,171 --> 00:04:49,256 You wanna do the thing? 88 00:04:49,673 --> 00:04:51,258 Guess what I'm wearing under my coat. 89 00:04:51,341 --> 00:04:53,886 Oh, I'm so ready. I'm so ready. 90 00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:56,513 JASON: Oh, my... Oh, what... Uh... 91 00:04:56,597 --> 00:04:57,723 That's not what I wanted. 92 00:04:57,806 --> 00:04:59,099 Wow, what a beautiful pie. 93 00:04:59,182 --> 00:05:00,517 PATRICIA: Hi. FRED: Hello. 94 00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:01,685 PEEPAW: Who the hell is it? 95 00:05:01,768 --> 00:05:03,061 PATRICIA: It's me, Daddy. 96 00:05:03,145 --> 00:05:06,189 - You're on a video chat. Yeah. - It's a video chat. 97 00:05:06,273 --> 00:05:08,108 What're you doing on TV? 98 00:05:08,191 --> 00:05:09,818 - Maybe you need, like, a doctor? - No. No. 99 00:05:09,902 --> 00:05:11,528 - Need some ointment or something... Oh. - Shut up. 100 00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:13,697 Let's go upstairs and see your grandson, huh? 101 00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:16,283 - We made this pie for him. - PATRICIA: Yeah. It's really hot. 102 00:05:16,366 --> 00:05:17,576 FRED: She did such a good job. 103 00:05:17,659 --> 00:05:18,994 MEEMAW: Where are you? PEEPAW: I'm right here. 104 00:05:19,077 --> 00:05:21,163 MEEMAW: No, not you. I'm talking to them. 105 00:05:21,246 --> 00:05:23,248 We're going upstairs, Mom. 106 00:05:23,332 --> 00:05:25,542 And Jason's gonna be surprised. 107 00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:28,295 - Just wait. - Just wait. 108 00:05:28,378 --> 00:05:31,506 - Who's Jason? - Jason's your grandson, honey. 109 00:05:31,590 --> 00:05:33,550 PEEPAW: What channel is this? 110 00:05:34,176 --> 00:05:35,177 Hmm. 111 00:05:35,260 --> 00:05:36,845 Oh! What is that? 112 00:05:36,929 --> 00:05:37,930 {\an8}(MUFFLED) 113 00:05:38,013 --> 00:05:40,057 {\an8}What? 114 00:05:43,518 --> 00:05:45,020 Uh-huh. Sure. Okay. Yeah. 115 00:05:45,187 --> 00:05:46,188 (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 116 00:05:46,688 --> 00:05:47,689 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 117 00:05:47,773 --> 00:05:49,066 - PATRICIA: Honey. - (BOTH GASP) 118 00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:50,984 We have a surprise for you. 119 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:55,197 PATRICIA: Jason? FRED: Jason. 120 00:05:55,280 --> 00:06:00,202 Girl's got a prophylactic in her mouth. 121 00:06:00,661 --> 00:06:01,662 (PATRICIA WHIMPERS) 122 00:06:01,745 --> 00:06:03,288 Hold on, Mom. I'm not dressed. 123 00:06:03,372 --> 00:06:04,373 (GASPS) 124 00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:07,167 - Are you choking on the... - (CHOKING) 125 00:06:07,251 --> 00:06:09,169 PATRICIA: (BANGING ON DOOR) Jason Sawyer, open this door! 126 00:06:09,253 --> 00:06:12,130 Sorry, Mom, I got a charley horse in my leg. 127 00:06:12,214 --> 00:06:13,423 Can you bring me the banana 128 00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:14,883 - for the potassium? - (BOTH GRUNTING) 129 00:06:16,051 --> 00:06:17,052 (GASPS) 130 00:06:17,386 --> 00:06:18,470 JASON: Okay. 131 00:06:18,554 --> 00:06:19,930 I love you very much. 132 00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:21,431 But, uh, you gotta go. 133 00:06:21,515 --> 00:06:22,516 Okay. Bye. 134 00:06:23,892 --> 00:06:25,352 (SCREAMING) 135 00:06:26,895 --> 00:06:28,063 - (ANNIE GRUNTS) - (CAT YOWLS) 136 00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:29,565 (DOG BARKING) 137 00:06:30,107 --> 00:06:31,108 (GASPS) 138 00:06:31,233 --> 00:06:33,068 - PATRICIA: (BANGING ON DOOR) Jason Sawyer! - Sorry, Mom. 139 00:06:33,151 --> 00:06:35,028 That damned charley horse. (CHUCKLES) 140 00:06:36,071 --> 00:06:40,951 Meemaw and Peepaw saw your penis. 141 00:06:45,497 --> 00:06:46,999 (SLOW MUSIC PLAYS) 142 00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:49,543 (CELL PHONE CHIMING) 143 00:07:04,308 --> 00:07:06,059 - (BED CLACKING) - KAYLA: No. Not yet. Ow! 144 00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:07,895 TIM: You're so smart and gorgeous. 145 00:07:07,978 --> 00:07:09,897 - Now? - KAYLA: Not yet. I'll tell you when. 146 00:07:09,980 --> 00:07:10,981 Just a little higher. 147 00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:13,525 - TIM: You're my princess. (GRUNTING) - Rub softer but faster. 148 00:07:13,609 --> 00:07:15,736 - Smash that pussy now! Now! - (TIM PANTING) 149 00:07:15,819 --> 00:07:17,905 TIM: I cherish you. I cherish you. 150 00:07:17,988 --> 00:07:19,615 (BOTH MOANING LOUDLY) 151 00:07:20,032 --> 00:07:21,783 (BOTH PANTING) 152 00:07:26,622 --> 00:07:28,373 - Fuck yeah. - Yeah. 153 00:07:28,457 --> 00:07:31,752 We are the greatest couple ever. 154 00:07:31,835 --> 00:07:34,212 No one has sex like we do. 155 00:07:34,296 --> 00:07:39,551 I mean, I've never had sex like this, but you're my first, so I don't know. 156 00:07:39,635 --> 00:07:40,636 Hey. 157 00:07:40,719 --> 00:07:44,389 I showed you that you're in my lobster poems I wrote about you, right? 158 00:07:44,473 --> 00:07:47,684 Yeah, but, like, how amazing? 159 00:07:47,768 --> 00:07:50,145 Like, oh, I don't know... 160 00:07:50,229 --> 00:07:52,105 Better than the other girls? 161 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,359 - You're doing it again. - (CHUCKLES) 162 00:07:56,026 --> 00:07:58,528 I'm not jealous. I'm just asking. 163 00:07:58,612 --> 00:08:02,491 Yeah. It starts with asking and then you spiral. 164 00:08:02,574 --> 00:08:03,659 (CLATTERING) 165 00:08:05,994 --> 00:08:07,829 Are you filming us? 166 00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:11,458 You little shit! That is a total violation. 167 00:08:11,541 --> 00:08:12,584 Not cool, Keenan. 168 00:08:12,668 --> 00:08:17,422 You respect my boundaries, you little shit! 169 00:08:17,506 --> 00:08:22,261 - (SIGHS) - Get back here! Give me that phone! 170 00:08:22,344 --> 00:08:25,722 You will learn about emotional intelligence. 171 00:08:26,723 --> 00:08:30,727 Delete that video! The framing isn't even good! 172 00:08:30,936 --> 00:08:31,937 (TYPING) 173 00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:33,647 (SIGHS) 174 00:08:33,897 --> 00:08:35,983 Again? Really? 175 00:08:36,858 --> 00:08:40,654 - Kayla! - Oops. Sorry. Love you. 176 00:08:40,737 --> 00:08:42,447 Who the fuck is Monica? 177 00:08:45,534 --> 00:08:48,537 I do not shrink from this responsibility. 178 00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:49,871 I welcome it. 179 00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:51,373 (MICHELLE MOANS) 180 00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:55,544 - (MICHELLE GROANS) - I do not believe that any of us... 181 00:08:56,962 --> 00:09:00,257 - (MICHELLE SIGHS) - The energy, the faith, the devotion... 182 00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:02,551 - MICHELLE: Here we go. - ...which we bring to this endeavor... 183 00:09:02,634 --> 00:09:05,012 - Oh, yeah. - ...will light our country and all... 184 00:09:05,095 --> 00:09:06,346 - (SEX TOY BUZZING) - Bring it home now. 185 00:09:06,430 --> 00:09:10,851 {\an8}And the glow from that fire can truly light the world. 186 00:09:10,934 --> 00:09:12,853 And so, my fellow Americans, 187 00:09:12,936 --> 00:09:17,065 ask not what your country can do for you... 188 00:09:17,149 --> 00:09:18,150 (MOANING LOUDLY) 189 00:09:18,233 --> 00:09:20,861 - ...ask what you can do for your country. - (UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING) 190 00:09:20,944 --> 00:09:24,031 You can ring my bell 191 00:09:24,114 --> 00:09:26,283 Ring my bell 192 00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:27,492 (MICHELLE MOANS SOFTLY) 193 00:09:27,576 --> 00:09:29,745 You can ring my bell 194 00:09:30,454 --> 00:09:31,455 {\an8}(SONG ENDS) 195 00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:32,706 {\an8}(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS) 196 00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:36,126 - STEPHANIE: Principal Shankman. - Stephanie. 197 00:09:37,252 --> 00:09:38,253 SHANKMAN: Whoo! 198 00:09:38,337 --> 00:09:40,213 Been waitin' for you. (CHUCKLING) 199 00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:42,466 That outfit's amazing. 200 00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:45,552 I'm glad you reconsidered, decided to take me up on my offer. 201 00:09:45,636 --> 00:09:47,971 - Strip, slave. - (CHUCKLES) Kinky. 202 00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:50,307 - You like that? - I like it. I like it. 203 00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:52,392 - Are you excited? - Oh, yes, Mistress. 204 00:09:52,809 --> 00:09:54,603 - Handcuffs. - Handcuffs, yeah. 205 00:09:54,686 --> 00:09:55,812 (WHIP CRACKING) 206 00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:57,981 - Is that a whip? - Yes, it is. 207 00:09:58,065 --> 00:10:00,234 (CHUCKLES AND MIMICS WHIP CRACKING) 208 00:10:00,525 --> 00:10:02,027 (WHIP CONTINUES CRACKING) 209 00:10:02,527 --> 00:10:04,196 - See, it's an app. - Oh. 210 00:10:04,279 --> 00:10:06,240 - It's for S and M freaks like you. - I like it. 211 00:10:06,323 --> 00:10:07,324 I don't really understand it but... 212 00:10:07,407 --> 00:10:08,867 Yeah, 'cause you're fucking stupid. 213 00:10:08,951 --> 00:10:10,744 You know, can you do the mommy thing again? 214 00:10:10,827 --> 00:10:12,871 The kids at school are gonna love that. 215 00:10:12,955 --> 00:10:14,373 Wait, wait, wait a minute. Are you filming me? 216 00:10:14,456 --> 00:10:17,459 Fuck, yeah. See, I've had it with you, Principal Shankman, 217 00:10:17,542 --> 00:10:20,128 hitting on me and the other girls. It's gross. 218 00:10:20,212 --> 00:10:23,173 And I really don't want your pervy, sexual harassing ass around 219 00:10:23,257 --> 00:10:24,424 for my senior year, so... 220 00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:26,426 Welcome to your retirement party. 221 00:10:26,510 --> 00:10:28,053 Young lady, take the handcuffs off. 222 00:10:28,136 --> 00:10:29,555 Oh, no, no, no. 223 00:10:29,638 --> 00:10:32,015 See, I'm in charge now, you creepy fuck. 224 00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:33,976 Retire or this video goes viral. 225 00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:36,728 So, take the weekend, think about what you've done. 226 00:10:36,812 --> 00:10:39,523 And I hope this teaches you a very valuable lesson. 227 00:10:40,524 --> 00:10:43,443 Never, ever fuck with a Stifler. 228 00:10:47,698 --> 00:10:48,907 - Stephanie! - Bye! 229 00:10:48,991 --> 00:10:51,368 Stifler! Stifler! 230 00:10:52,327 --> 00:10:53,453 You're in big trouble. 231 00:10:53,537 --> 00:10:54,538 (DOOR CLOSES) 232 00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:55,622 I'm in bigger trouble. 233 00:10:56,206 --> 00:10:57,874 STEPHANIE: Are you fucking kidding me? 234 00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:01,169 You choked on a blowjob condom and you don't even get slammed? 235 00:11:01,253 --> 00:11:03,046 It's called a dental dam. 236 00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:04,298 Why does no one know this? 237 00:11:04,381 --> 00:11:06,550 Okay. So you use a dental dam for safety, 238 00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:09,595 but you still fell out of a window and you did not get laid. 239 00:11:09,678 --> 00:11:11,388 Yeah, I get it. I messed up. 240 00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:13,265 I'm sorry if I wanted my first time 241 00:11:13,348 --> 00:11:15,684 - to be both safe and beautiful, okay? - (ALL GROAN) 242 00:11:15,767 --> 00:11:17,769 - Come on. - Sex isn't supposed to be beautiful. 243 00:11:17,853 --> 00:11:20,647 It's supposed to be hot and dirty and hungry! 244 00:11:20,731 --> 00:11:22,900 ANNIE: I am going to do it and it is going to be beautiful, okay. 245 00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:24,776 Tough love time, Annie. Your boyfriend's a total bro-bag. 246 00:11:24,860 --> 00:11:26,778 - Yeah. - Jason is not a bro-bag. 247 00:11:26,862 --> 00:11:29,615 I didn't wanna say it, but he is the basic of all bros. 248 00:11:29,698 --> 00:11:30,699 - I'm sorry. - Guys! 249 00:11:30,782 --> 00:11:33,368 We're supposed to be having fun and fuckin' celebrating our youth! 250 00:11:33,452 --> 00:11:35,746 - Senior year, bitches! - (WHOOPING) 251 00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:36,830 (ENGINE REVS) 252 00:11:36,914 --> 00:11:37,998 (WHOOPING) 253 00:11:38,582 --> 00:11:40,709 BOY: Back to school party! 254 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:50,385 (CHEERING AND SCREAMING) 255 00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:52,262 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 256 00:11:53,347 --> 00:11:55,724 Students of East Great Falls! 257 00:11:55,807 --> 00:11:58,560 Welcome to the annual Back To School Party! 258 00:11:58,644 --> 00:11:59,645 (ALL CHEERING) 259 00:12:02,648 --> 00:12:06,693 And on Monday we go back to the bullshit banality of high school life. 260 00:12:06,777 --> 00:12:08,445 But today, the sun is out! 261 00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:10,322 The booze is flowing! 262 00:12:10,405 --> 00:12:14,201 And we're teenagers prone to bad decisions! 263 00:12:14,743 --> 00:12:16,745 Yeah! 264 00:12:22,626 --> 00:12:23,627 (WHOOPING) 265 00:12:26,255 --> 00:12:27,256 (BARKING) 266 00:12:28,173 --> 00:12:30,008 Ah! Drink it down! 267 00:12:33,262 --> 00:12:34,513 East Great Falls! 268 00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:39,726 - Hey, girl. - (GIRL WHOOPS) 269 00:12:41,937 --> 00:12:43,272 McCORMICK: What's good, Stifler? 270 00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:45,983 Brett McCormick. 271 00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:47,943 At a party and still conscious. Good for you. 272 00:12:48,026 --> 00:12:49,319 You know, Stifler, I hear things. 273 00:12:49,403 --> 00:12:52,072 You've got the reputation of being the bang of the century. 274 00:12:52,155 --> 00:12:54,074 - Feels like I'm missing out. - (SCOFFING CHUCKLE) 275 00:12:54,157 --> 00:12:55,951 You know, that's a real panty-dropper, McCormick. 276 00:12:56,034 --> 00:12:57,327 I'll tell you what. 277 00:12:57,411 --> 00:12:59,496 Not today. Not tomorrow. 278 00:12:59,580 --> 00:13:00,789 Not if you were the last man on Earth. 279 00:13:00,872 --> 00:13:03,125 Not if I even loved the reek of Axe body spray. 280 00:13:03,208 --> 00:13:05,460 Not if I didn't already know you have a itty-bitty little dick. 281 00:13:05,544 --> 00:13:07,129 - That's not... (CHUCKLES) - No, see, I hear things, too. 282 00:13:07,212 --> 00:13:09,881 So don't try to be clever. That would just be really bad for you. 283 00:13:09,965 --> 00:13:12,551 Just don't throw up anywhere or do any nonconsensual groping. 284 00:13:12,634 --> 00:13:13,927 That's your job for today. 285 00:13:14,469 --> 00:13:15,470 I believe in you. 286 00:13:15,554 --> 00:13:16,555 (ANNIE LAUGHING) 287 00:13:18,724 --> 00:13:20,350 TIM: They're my feelings. 288 00:13:20,434 --> 00:13:22,561 KAYLA: You're being ridiculous! Okay? 289 00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:24,730 TIM: You hacked my phone. 290 00:13:24,813 --> 00:13:27,858 Okay, so I hacked my boyfriend's phone. 291 00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:29,776 Everybody does it, by the way. 292 00:13:29,860 --> 00:13:31,737 - Am I right, ladies? Yes, okay? - (SCATTERED RESPONSES) 293 00:13:31,820 --> 00:13:34,114 And I see some thirsty bitch hitting on you. 294 00:13:34,531 --> 00:13:37,492 For the last time, that thirsty bitch is my cousin. 295 00:13:37,576 --> 00:13:39,494 Are you telling me people don't fuck their cousins? 296 00:13:39,578 --> 00:13:42,539 Because it happens. Their kids have tails. 297 00:13:42,623 --> 00:13:45,083 And she asked if you've been working out? 298 00:13:45,167 --> 00:13:47,169 Because she's my physical therapist. 299 00:13:47,252 --> 00:13:49,004 She helped me when I blew out my knee last year. 300 00:13:49,087 --> 00:13:50,923 Wait. I vaguely remember this. 301 00:13:51,006 --> 00:13:54,426 Yeah, and you texted her and you told her I have an STD! 302 00:13:54,509 --> 00:13:56,345 KAYLA: Yeah, I wanted her to stay away from you. 303 00:13:56,428 --> 00:13:59,848 Yeah, well, she called my mom and now my mom thinks I have syphilis. 304 00:13:59,932 --> 00:14:01,975 (CHUCKLES) Well, she's gonna be so relieved 305 00:14:02,059 --> 00:14:04,353 when she finds out you don't. Okay? 306 00:14:04,436 --> 00:14:06,605 You know, that can lead to madness if not treated. 307 00:14:06,688 --> 00:14:07,689 Kayla! 308 00:14:07,773 --> 00:14:08,857 (VOICE BREAKING) I'm breaking up with you. 309 00:14:09,566 --> 00:14:12,027 Tim. I love you. 310 00:14:16,198 --> 00:14:17,532 Is this a joke? 311 00:14:17,616 --> 00:14:19,743 We're in love, stupid! 312 00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:22,537 Hey, sweetie. You... You okay? 313 00:14:22,621 --> 00:14:23,747 Oh, that? 314 00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:26,750 Yeah. We just break up so that we can make up. 315 00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:28,293 Yeah, it's just a little speed bump. 316 00:14:28,377 --> 00:14:30,170 Oh! You guys wanna go get fucked up? 317 00:14:30,254 --> 00:14:31,338 Let's go. 318 00:14:31,421 --> 00:14:33,840 - Oh. - Okay. Whatever you want. 319 00:14:33,924 --> 00:14:35,425 That's concerning. 320 00:14:35,509 --> 00:14:36,593 KAYLA: Tequila! 321 00:14:38,595 --> 00:14:39,763 (FACETIME TONE) 322 00:14:40,472 --> 00:14:42,266 - Hey, hey! - Hey! 323 00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:43,850 Annie, what's... What's up? 324 00:14:43,934 --> 00:14:47,813 I'm at this stupid party and I was just missing you. 325 00:14:47,896 --> 00:14:49,940 - Oh, okay. - (PARTY MUSIC PLAYING) 326 00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:51,233 That's good. 327 00:14:51,316 --> 00:14:52,901 That's real good. 328 00:14:53,277 --> 00:14:55,696 In my mouth next time. Okay. 329 00:14:57,114 --> 00:14:58,115 Whoa! (BURPS) 330 00:14:58,198 --> 00:15:00,284 I gotta go. I'll talk to you later. 331 00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:02,119 - Oh, okay. Well, I love... - (BURPS) 332 00:15:03,579 --> 00:15:04,580 You. 333 00:15:04,705 --> 00:15:05,914 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 334 00:15:05,998 --> 00:15:07,374 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm there. 335 00:15:11,378 --> 00:15:13,213 Oh, you might wanna... Okay. 336 00:15:15,257 --> 00:15:16,466 How we doin'? 337 00:15:16,550 --> 00:15:19,970 My sex-starved boyfriend is surrounded by a bunch of college thots, 338 00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:22,973 and I'm the only 17-year-old virgin in history! 339 00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:24,224 KAYLA: You are the lucky one. 340 00:15:24,308 --> 00:15:27,102 Ignorance is bliss, my virginal friend. 341 00:15:27,185 --> 00:15:29,479 It could be days before Tim and I are back together. 342 00:15:29,563 --> 00:15:31,815 None of us need a man to have a healthy sex life. 343 00:15:31,899 --> 00:15:36,653 I am learning that technology has given us incredible innovations in self-pleasure. 344 00:15:36,737 --> 00:15:39,364 And, like, whatever you're into. External, internal, 345 00:15:39,448 --> 00:15:43,827 dildos, rabbits, wands, vibrators, remote-controlled butt plugs, anal beads, 346 00:15:43,911 --> 00:15:45,495 - Ben Wa balls... - Ben Wa balls? 347 00:15:45,579 --> 00:15:50,000 Oh, yeah. I have two in right now. It is a very specific sensation. 348 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:51,960 - (BALLS CLACKING) - Ooh! Yeah. 349 00:15:52,502 --> 00:15:53,837 (LAUGHING) 350 00:15:54,463 --> 00:15:55,505 They're amazing. 351 00:15:55,589 --> 00:15:58,091 The knowledge that you have something in your vagina 352 00:15:58,175 --> 00:15:59,384 is very unsettling to me. 353 00:15:59,468 --> 00:16:00,677 That is my whole point. 354 00:16:00,761 --> 00:16:03,138 I would argue that you could use some unsettling experimentation, Annie. 355 00:16:03,889 --> 00:16:05,432 Do you have a toy? 356 00:16:05,515 --> 00:16:06,600 We don't... 357 00:16:06,892 --> 00:16:08,060 I don't do that. 358 00:16:08,143 --> 00:16:10,479 Why does she hate you? 359 00:16:10,771 --> 00:16:13,565 MICHELLE: Guys, we're all lacking something in the romance area. 360 00:16:13,649 --> 00:16:16,944 But I feel like, we gotta figure this shit out. Like, it's our senior year. 361 00:16:17,486 --> 00:16:18,570 What do you mean? 362 00:16:18,987 --> 00:16:21,490 - Goal-setting. - Okay, but what goals? 363 00:16:21,573 --> 00:16:25,035 Oh. For you, you need a guy who appreciates your sense of humor 364 00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:26,620 and doesn't take things so personally. 365 00:16:26,703 --> 00:16:30,040 Maybe someone who's less emotional. 366 00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:31,458 Yeah, like, someone, like, way less woke. 367 00:16:31,541 --> 00:16:32,834 Not a guy who wants to make sweet love. 368 00:16:32,918 --> 00:16:34,378 You need a guy who wants to fuck, you know? 369 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:36,088 Oh, my God! 370 00:16:36,171 --> 00:16:38,590 - I do need someone who wants to fuck! - STEPHANIE: There you go. 371 00:16:38,674 --> 00:16:40,259 MICHELLE: Okay, my turn, my turn. Do me. 372 00:16:40,342 --> 00:16:42,719 Oh. Yeah, that's pretty simple. You need someone smart. 373 00:16:42,803 --> 00:16:44,221 Yeah, you need someone who understands you, 374 00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:47,432 who would like social consciousness, but also like integrity. 375 00:16:47,516 --> 00:16:48,934 Mmm. Yeah, like, someone a little kinky. 376 00:16:49,017 --> 00:16:51,395 I like it. Okay. What about Steph? 377 00:16:51,979 --> 00:16:54,523 Me? Oh, I am so good. 378 00:16:54,606 --> 00:16:57,693 Oh, sweetie, sorry, but you need some serious work. 379 00:16:57,776 --> 00:16:59,361 What? Excuse me? 380 00:16:59,444 --> 00:17:01,863 - What exactly do I need? - Annie, take it. 381 00:17:01,947 --> 00:17:03,657 - A nice guy. - KAYLA: Mmm. 382 00:17:03,740 --> 00:17:08,078 Someone who wants to be around you and buys thoughtful presents 383 00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:09,913 and asks about your day. 384 00:17:14,585 --> 00:17:15,793 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 385 00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:18,629 Okay. What about Annie? 386 00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:21,258 Um, to have sex with the man I love. 387 00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:23,385 Guys, these goals are totally attainable. 388 00:17:23,467 --> 00:17:25,137 - But we need a deadline. - Homecoming. 389 00:17:25,220 --> 00:17:26,972 About a month away, and it has the perfect theme. 390 00:17:27,055 --> 00:17:28,098 STEPHANIE: Theme? 391 00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:30,309 Your lack of school spirit is truly disheartening. 392 00:17:30,392 --> 00:17:32,227 Ladies, come on. It's a MORP dance. 393 00:17:32,311 --> 00:17:33,353 "Prom" spelled backwards. 394 00:17:33,437 --> 00:17:35,981 We switch all the conventions, and most importantly, 395 00:17:36,064 --> 00:17:37,149 - girls ask guys. - STEPHANIE: Okay. 396 00:17:37,232 --> 00:17:40,861 Rule one, set a goal to fix our romantic lives. 397 00:17:40,944 --> 00:17:43,280 Rule number two, we support our fellow women. 398 00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:46,366 Three, we are all accountability partners. 399 00:17:46,450 --> 00:17:48,285 And we won't let each other get away with our usual shit. 400 00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:49,369 - STEPHANIE: Okay. - Yes. Yes. 401 00:17:49,453 --> 00:17:52,164 - And rule four, deadline is homecoming. - Mmm. 402 00:17:52,247 --> 00:17:53,457 - The MORP dance. - Mmm-hmm. 403 00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:55,792 Wait, but I don't like that it's rules. 404 00:17:55,876 --> 00:17:57,044 Makes it sound like a competition. 405 00:17:57,127 --> 00:17:58,420 Well, everything is a competition. 406 00:17:59,046 --> 00:18:00,756 It's not, though. It's a pact, so... 407 00:18:00,839 --> 00:18:02,090 - (LAUGHTER) - KAYLA: Ooh, a pact. Okay. 408 00:18:02,174 --> 00:18:05,469 Well, ladies, please raise your glasses to The Girls' Rules. 409 00:18:05,552 --> 00:18:07,137 KAYLA: Yes! MICHELLE: Cheers. 410 00:18:07,679 --> 00:18:09,223 {\an8}KAYLA: We have a pact! 411 00:18:09,306 --> 00:18:10,432 {\an8}(UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING) 412 00:18:10,515 --> 00:18:11,850 Call it classic Reach out and grab it 413 00:18:11,934 --> 00:18:13,894 Super massive Pulls like a magnet 414 00:18:16,063 --> 00:18:19,650 {\an8}Jumping straight out the box You got me like whoa 415 00:18:21,193 --> 00:18:24,112 Well, hello Got, got, got me like whoa 416 00:18:25,030 --> 00:18:28,408 Well, hello Got, got, got me like whoa 417 00:18:28,909 --> 00:18:29,910 Well, hello 418 00:18:34,456 --> 00:18:35,832 Okay, we start today. 419 00:18:35,916 --> 00:18:37,876 We're getting what we want, and if anybody doesn't like it, 420 00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:39,253 they can eat a bag of dicks. 421 00:18:39,795 --> 00:18:43,298 Kind of feel like we're Charlie's Angels, but not the Drew Barrymore one. 422 00:18:43,382 --> 00:18:45,300 The older one where no one wore bras. 423 00:18:45,384 --> 00:18:46,385 Nice. 424 00:18:46,468 --> 00:18:48,011 (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 425 00:18:48,595 --> 00:18:50,430 I'm attracted I gotta have it 426 00:18:50,514 --> 00:18:52,724 Super massive Pulls like a magnet 427 00:18:53,809 --> 00:18:56,603 Not to ruin this badass moment of female empowerment, 428 00:18:56,687 --> 00:19:00,440 but look at our choices. 429 00:19:01,567 --> 00:19:03,986 KAYLA: You're right. We've known these rats since elementary. 430 00:19:04,069 --> 00:19:05,779 You really think we go to school with the perfect guy 431 00:19:05,862 --> 00:19:06,863 and just haven't noticed? 432 00:19:06,947 --> 00:19:08,073 STEPHANIE: Oh, I think exactly that. 433 00:19:08,156 --> 00:19:09,908 Look, there's over 500 guys at East Great Falls. 434 00:19:09,992 --> 00:19:12,869 The guy you might be looking for might be right under your oyster. 435 00:19:12,953 --> 00:19:14,037 Or at Michigan State. 436 00:19:14,121 --> 00:19:16,123 Okay, ironically, I think that Annie out of all of us 437 00:19:16,206 --> 00:19:17,833 will probably benefit the most from our pact. 438 00:19:17,916 --> 00:19:19,334 - Yeah? - Especially the part 439 00:19:19,418 --> 00:19:21,169 - where we call on her bullshit. - What bullshit? 440 00:19:21,253 --> 00:19:23,755 Okay. You wanna lose it to Jason the D-bag? 441 00:19:23,839 --> 00:19:24,923 Here's an idea. 442 00:19:25,007 --> 00:19:27,217 Get your ass down to Michigan State and fuck his little brains out. 443 00:19:27,759 --> 00:19:29,511 Seems simple, yet here you are. 444 00:19:31,763 --> 00:19:32,764 That was harsh. 445 00:19:32,848 --> 00:19:35,017 STEPHANIE: Yeah, rule three, accountability partner! 446 00:19:35,100 --> 00:19:36,268 Jason's busy. 447 00:19:36,351 --> 00:19:37,644 I'm trying to plan a trip there, 448 00:19:37,728 --> 00:19:40,397 but with his school schedule, we barely even get time to talk. 449 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:41,899 - Yeah. - So sad. 450 00:19:42,900 --> 00:19:44,151 - (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) - Oh. 451 00:19:44,234 --> 00:19:45,319 Adiós, mofos. 452 00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:49,740 MICHELLE: In the meantime, I suggest we start training. 453 00:19:49,823 --> 00:19:52,534 In order to enjoy sex, you need to know what you like, right? 454 00:19:52,618 --> 00:19:54,119 What're you thinking? 455 00:19:54,202 --> 00:19:56,663 I'm thinking that we do a shopping trip. 456 00:19:56,872 --> 00:19:57,873 (SQUEALS) 457 00:19:58,123 --> 00:19:59,291 Oh, gotta go. Gonna be late. 458 00:20:02,169 --> 00:20:03,170 MICHELLE: Whoa. 459 00:20:04,087 --> 00:20:05,672 Shit. Shit. Shit. 460 00:20:06,381 --> 00:20:07,382 (POP MUSIC PLAYING) 461 00:20:07,466 --> 00:20:13,680 You can ring my bell Ring my bell... 462 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:16,308 (GRUNTING) 463 00:20:22,147 --> 00:20:23,148 (GROANS) 464 00:20:24,650 --> 00:20:26,026 - (SCOFFS) - Oh. 465 00:20:27,361 --> 00:20:28,528 - Oh, my God. - MICHELLE: Hey. 466 00:20:28,612 --> 00:20:31,698 - Are you okay? That looked really painful. - (CHUCKLES) 467 00:20:31,823 --> 00:20:34,660 Yeah, yeah, I'm good. No, I'm great. I, um... I just... 468 00:20:34,743 --> 00:20:36,662 I was late for class. It's a little schedule blunder. 469 00:20:36,745 --> 00:20:38,372 It's a pre-calc. It should've said calc calc. (LAUGHS) 470 00:20:38,455 --> 00:20:39,539 Hence, the running. 471 00:20:39,623 --> 00:20:42,501 But you look lost, and as Student Council Vice President, 472 00:20:42,584 --> 00:20:43,919 it's actually my obligation to help you. 473 00:20:44,002 --> 00:20:45,712 Hi. I'm Michelle. 474 00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,383 And I'm trying really hard to hide my growing anxiety 475 00:20:49,466 --> 00:20:51,510 about being late for class. (CHUCKLES) 476 00:20:51,593 --> 00:20:53,387 I'm Grant. Just moved here. 477 00:20:53,470 --> 00:20:55,013 Totally lost. 478 00:20:55,097 --> 00:20:57,349 And amused at your growing anxiety. 479 00:20:57,432 --> 00:20:58,475 But you're in luck. 480 00:20:58,559 --> 00:21:00,018 I am also on the way to calculus. 481 00:21:00,102 --> 00:21:02,688 I'd be more than happy to report how you selflessly helped me, 482 00:21:02,771 --> 00:21:04,064 even though it made you late. 483 00:21:04,147 --> 00:21:06,984 And I'll be sure to leave out the part about you, you know, 484 00:21:07,067 --> 00:21:08,235 face-slamming a door. 485 00:21:08,569 --> 00:21:09,570 (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 486 00:21:14,074 --> 00:21:15,200 Is that a Ben Wa ball? 487 00:21:15,867 --> 00:21:17,160 Yeah. 488 00:21:19,997 --> 00:21:22,040 - Three second rule. - Okay. 489 00:21:22,124 --> 00:21:23,917 - Should we go? - Yeah. 490 00:21:26,336 --> 00:21:29,506 KAYLA: A sweet treat for my sweet treat. 491 00:21:29,965 --> 00:21:32,384 What're you doing? We broke up. Remember? 492 00:21:32,467 --> 00:21:34,386 We had a little squabble. 493 00:21:34,469 --> 00:21:36,179 Pumpkin spice or mocha? 494 00:21:36,263 --> 00:21:37,973 This is real. It's over. 495 00:21:38,056 --> 00:21:40,142 You're just not my lobster. 496 00:21:47,316 --> 00:21:48,317 (SIGHS) 497 00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:54,531 Mind if I join you? 498 00:21:57,326 --> 00:22:01,413 Look. I know this is not in any way my business, 499 00:22:01,496 --> 00:22:03,540 but I couldn't help but overhear. 500 00:22:03,624 --> 00:22:05,083 Oh, God. 501 00:22:05,167 --> 00:22:06,960 Yeah, it's pretty uncomfy. 502 00:22:07,044 --> 00:22:10,714 But I figured it might be a less pathetic moment if you weren't sitting alone 503 00:22:10,797 --> 00:22:13,800 while your ex is still watching. 504 00:22:14,468 --> 00:22:16,136 You really wanna drive him nuts? 505 00:22:16,220 --> 00:22:18,096 Pass me that delicious pumpkin spice. 506 00:22:20,599 --> 00:22:22,517 - Who are you? - I'm Grant. 507 00:22:22,601 --> 00:22:24,019 I'm cheering you up. 508 00:22:24,102 --> 00:22:27,231 - You're trying to steal my coffee. - That's just an added bonus. 509 00:22:31,777 --> 00:22:34,529 - I'm Kayla. - Nice to meet you, Kayla. 510 00:22:34,613 --> 00:22:35,614 Mmm. 511 00:22:36,823 --> 00:22:37,824 (GRANT CLEARS THROAT) 512 00:22:38,533 --> 00:22:39,701 Why'd you give me the mocha one? 513 00:22:39,785 --> 00:22:41,453 You think I'm just gonna give you pumpkin spice? 514 00:22:41,536 --> 00:22:43,497 This shit is seasonal and I don't even know you. 515 00:22:44,164 --> 00:22:45,165 Touché. 516 00:22:45,749 --> 00:22:47,376 (UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYING) 517 00:22:47,584 --> 00:22:48,835 Yeah 518 00:22:48,919 --> 00:22:50,420 (ALL SHOUTING) 519 00:22:55,842 --> 00:22:58,887 Let everyone know That the girls run the show 520 00:23:00,138 --> 00:23:02,683 Who wants some? Yeah! 521 00:23:02,766 --> 00:23:06,311 The lights are down low Raise the curtain and go 522 00:23:06,395 --> 00:23:08,647 It's our big night Hey 523 00:23:08,730 --> 00:23:10,607 Our big night Ho 524 00:23:10,691 --> 00:23:12,484 Who the fuck is that? 525 00:23:12,568 --> 00:23:13,735 MEREDITH: Who's the fresh meat? 526 00:23:13,819 --> 00:23:14,987 Yeah, look at that snack. 527 00:23:15,070 --> 00:23:16,238 Nice dick! 528 00:23:16,321 --> 00:23:17,864 STEPHANIE: You spooked him. Ball! 529 00:23:18,532 --> 00:23:20,492 - No way. He's too far. - STEPHANIE: 20 bucks. 530 00:23:20,576 --> 00:23:22,035 - I want some of that. - You're on. 531 00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:23,370 Go on, give me some space. 532 00:23:29,084 --> 00:23:30,168 Wait for it. 533 00:23:31,336 --> 00:23:32,337 (GRUNTS) 534 00:23:33,088 --> 00:23:34,298 - Fuck, yeah! - Oh shit! 535 00:23:34,381 --> 00:23:35,841 - I can't believe she actually made that. - He might be dead. 536 00:23:35,924 --> 00:23:39,553 - You killed the snack! - Venmo me, motherfuckers! 537 00:23:39,636 --> 00:23:43,098 Girls run this Girls run this show 538 00:23:45,309 --> 00:23:48,896 Oh, my God, I... I am so sorry. 539 00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:51,732 Are you okay? 540 00:23:52,774 --> 00:23:55,027 Oh, I think so. 541 00:23:55,110 --> 00:23:56,153 Whoa. 542 00:23:56,236 --> 00:23:59,907 - You good? - Yeah, I think so. 543 00:23:59,990 --> 00:24:02,910 Um, I'm Stephanie. Stephanie Stifler. 544 00:24:02,993 --> 00:24:04,161 I'm Grant. 545 00:24:04,244 --> 00:24:06,747 Uh, your hands are so soft. 546 00:24:07,915 --> 00:24:10,375 - (CHUCKLES) Thank you. - You're welcome. 547 00:24:10,459 --> 00:24:12,669 I'm looking for the boys' lacrosse practice. 548 00:24:13,045 --> 00:24:14,046 Oh. 549 00:24:14,129 --> 00:24:16,465 The boys' practice is on the east field. 550 00:24:16,548 --> 00:24:19,259 - Yeah, I'll walk you. - Uh, it's... It's okay. 551 00:24:21,929 --> 00:24:24,348 - Nice goal, by the way. - It was good, right? 552 00:24:27,684 --> 00:24:29,019 You will be mine. 553 00:24:35,067 --> 00:24:36,652 MICHELLE: Come on. 554 00:24:37,152 --> 00:24:38,445 Oh, my God. 555 00:24:38,528 --> 00:24:40,614 I am very uncomfortable right now. 556 00:24:40,697 --> 00:24:43,825 Okay. Annie, let's just take a deep breath and calm down 557 00:24:43,909 --> 00:24:45,535 and realize that this is just a store. 558 00:24:45,619 --> 00:24:48,497 There's nothing weird or wrong or dirty about this place. 559 00:24:48,580 --> 00:24:50,207 - You come here a lot? - Michelle. 560 00:24:50,290 --> 00:24:51,333 - Hey, Rose. - I guess so. 561 00:24:51,416 --> 00:24:53,585 The new VJ-VAX just came out. 562 00:24:53,669 --> 00:24:56,463 Girl, it's great for your nipples, your tongue, 563 00:24:56,546 --> 00:24:58,465 your clitoris, any sphincter... 564 00:24:58,548 --> 00:25:00,801 She's naming so many different body part words. 565 00:25:00,884 --> 00:25:02,302 Poor thing. You're still allowing yourself 566 00:25:02,386 --> 00:25:04,513 - to be clit-blocked by the patriarchy. - Mmm-hmm. 567 00:25:04,596 --> 00:25:07,140 I'm so sorry. Did I hear you say the VJ-VAX came in? 568 00:25:07,224 --> 00:25:08,308 I've just heard amazing things. 569 00:25:08,392 --> 00:25:09,476 They're all true. 570 00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:10,936 Oh, can I get a demonstration? 571 00:25:12,646 --> 00:25:14,481 - Okay. Come on. - Oh, no. 572 00:25:17,985 --> 00:25:18,986 ANNIE: Oh, dear God. 573 00:25:19,069 --> 00:25:20,821 MICHELLE: Welcome to your sexual awakening. 574 00:25:20,904 --> 00:25:23,240 {\an8}Somewhere on this wall lies the access point to your orgasm. 575 00:25:23,323 --> 00:25:25,909 But, to pick the right toy, I do need a little bit of information. 576 00:25:25,993 --> 00:25:27,494 Are you an innie or an outie? 577 00:25:27,578 --> 00:25:28,620 Am I what? 578 00:25:29,705 --> 00:25:30,747 Okay. 579 00:25:30,831 --> 00:25:33,959 Why don't we use this rubber vagina as a visual aid? 580 00:25:34,042 --> 00:25:36,461 - That's a return, but we cleaned it. - Thanks, Rose. 581 00:25:36,545 --> 00:25:37,879 Okay, do you like this, 582 00:25:37,963 --> 00:25:39,548 - or do you like this? - A. 583 00:25:39,631 --> 00:25:41,842 I'll... I'll... I'll just pick Option A. 584 00:25:41,925 --> 00:25:43,302 Well, that makes a lot of sense. 585 00:25:43,385 --> 00:25:45,345 Most women orgasm through clitoral stimulation. 586 00:25:45,429 --> 00:25:46,889 - Okay. - ELLEN: Actually, did you know that 587 00:25:46,972 --> 00:25:50,809 75% of women never orgasm through intercourse alone? It's a fact. 588 00:25:50,893 --> 00:25:52,269 I'm sorry, ladies, could you just... 589 00:25:52,352 --> 00:25:53,478 You're blocking the good stuff. 590 00:25:53,562 --> 00:25:55,063 - Oh, sorry. - Ooh! 591 00:25:55,564 --> 00:25:57,524 How about this guy? 592 00:25:57,608 --> 00:25:59,985 - (MICHELLE CHUCKLING) - Hello. How are you? 593 00:26:00,694 --> 00:26:02,404 Aw, sweet baby bird. 594 00:26:02,487 --> 00:26:04,239 Let me guess. Is this your first toy? 595 00:26:04,323 --> 00:26:06,074 MICHELLE: Yes, it is her first toy. 596 00:26:06,158 --> 00:26:08,785 That is such a special day in a woman's life. 597 00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:10,746 Oh, sweetheart. 598 00:26:10,829 --> 00:26:13,081 I remember my first like it was yesterday. 599 00:26:13,165 --> 00:26:14,708 The Muscle Massager 5000. 600 00:26:15,292 --> 00:26:16,752 {\an8}Still a bestseller. 601 00:26:16,835 --> 00:26:19,004 Mmm, that thing was squirt-tastic. 602 00:26:20,047 --> 00:26:23,926 {\an8}But nothing compares to this gem right here. 603 00:26:24,968 --> 00:26:27,429 Three vibrating stimulators, 604 00:26:27,846 --> 00:26:30,682 curved tip to help you find that elusive G-spot. 605 00:26:30,766 --> 00:26:32,559 Spoiler alert, it's in the front. 606 00:26:32,643 --> 00:26:34,645 There's a rabbit for your itty-bitty clitty. 607 00:26:34,728 --> 00:26:37,064 And if you pee a little bit, don't worry, it's waterproof. 608 00:26:37,147 --> 00:26:40,192 I mean, it is a beautiful time to be alive, ladies. Am I right? 609 00:26:40,275 --> 00:26:41,401 - Yeah. - Right. 610 00:26:41,485 --> 00:26:43,946 Wait. Call off the dogs. The search is off. 611 00:26:44,029 --> 00:26:45,280 I found it. 612 00:26:45,822 --> 00:26:48,200 These black lacy panties are perfect. 613 00:26:48,283 --> 00:26:50,285 They're discreet. They're non-invasive. 614 00:26:50,369 --> 00:26:51,870 I agree. Those are perfect. 615 00:26:51,954 --> 00:26:55,290 And I'm so excited for the journey that you're about to embark on. 616 00:26:55,707 --> 00:26:58,627 Godspeed, little bird. Godspeed. 617 00:27:01,630 --> 00:27:02,631 Wow. 618 00:27:02,714 --> 00:27:04,216 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 619 00:27:04,299 --> 00:27:06,426 - What? Relax. - Relax? 620 00:27:06,510 --> 00:27:09,179 That super-weird but strangely helpful woman 621 00:27:09,263 --> 00:27:11,390 just picked out a vibrating undergarment for me. 622 00:27:11,473 --> 00:27:13,058 She's not weird. She's a goddess. 623 00:27:13,141 --> 00:27:15,686 And who cares? You're never gonna see her again. 624 00:27:15,769 --> 00:27:17,020 Let's go. 625 00:27:19,481 --> 00:27:20,482 Oh. 626 00:27:20,566 --> 00:27:22,568 - Hey, honey. - Hey, Dad. 627 00:27:22,651 --> 00:27:25,237 - Big test. Gotta study. - You have a test already? 628 00:27:27,781 --> 00:27:28,782 Wow. 629 00:27:28,907 --> 00:27:31,743 Must be some kind of accelerated school. 630 00:27:35,747 --> 00:27:36,748 (SIGHS) 631 00:27:53,473 --> 00:27:54,683 (CLICKS) 632 00:27:54,766 --> 00:27:55,976 (VIBRATING) 633 00:27:58,854 --> 00:28:01,773 Oh, my God. 634 00:28:03,066 --> 00:28:04,276 (DOORBELL RINGS) 635 00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:07,321 Hi. 636 00:28:07,404 --> 00:28:10,490 Uh, I just moved in next door and I wanted to introduce myself. 637 00:28:10,574 --> 00:28:14,578 I'm Ellen and... Oh, come here, hon. This is my son, Grant. 638 00:28:15,120 --> 00:28:16,246 I made you a pie. 639 00:28:18,123 --> 00:28:19,958 - Come in. - Thank you. (CHUCKLES) 640 00:28:20,042 --> 00:28:22,961 JASON: Babe, I... I got... I gotta get to class. 641 00:28:23,420 --> 00:28:26,173 You don't have time to knock one out? 642 00:28:26,256 --> 00:28:28,884 Are you... Are you saying you wanna have cybersex? 643 00:28:28,967 --> 00:28:31,094 Because, uh, yeah, that would... 644 00:28:31,178 --> 00:28:32,971 That would... That would be dope. 645 00:28:33,055 --> 00:28:36,225 I bought something for us. 646 00:28:36,725 --> 00:28:39,853 So I just thought I'd make this for you and your... Your wife. 647 00:28:39,937 --> 00:28:41,480 No wife, sadly. Divorced. 648 00:28:41,563 --> 00:28:44,066 - It's just me and my daughter. - What a coincidence. 649 00:28:44,566 --> 00:28:46,360 - Me, too. - Oh. 650 00:28:46,568 --> 00:28:48,779 What do ya say we dig into this delicious pie? 651 00:28:48,862 --> 00:28:49,863 Apple? 652 00:28:50,113 --> 00:28:51,114 Cherry. 653 00:28:51,198 --> 00:28:52,199 KEVIN: Mmm. 654 00:28:52,366 --> 00:28:53,617 ELLEN: Still hot. 655 00:28:54,701 --> 00:28:56,954 Oh, come on. Oh, you gotta... You gotta show me. 656 00:28:57,037 --> 00:28:58,580 You gotta show me. Please? 657 00:28:58,664 --> 00:28:59,998 - Please. - (SIGHS) 658 00:29:00,082 --> 00:29:01,416 Okay. Just a peek. 659 00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:04,419 Oh, damn it! 660 00:29:04,503 --> 00:29:07,256 - Ugh! Uh, my Wi-Fi sucks. - (CHUCKLES) 661 00:29:07,339 --> 00:29:11,552 Okay, all you need to know is that they're tiny and lacy, 662 00:29:11,635 --> 00:29:14,346 and they have a remote control. 663 00:29:15,472 --> 00:29:17,766 You control your panties with that? 664 00:29:17,849 --> 00:29:21,853 Oh, nice. Oh, you got... Turn it on. Mmm-hmm. 665 00:29:22,896 --> 00:29:23,897 (VIBRATING) 666 00:29:24,356 --> 00:29:25,357 (MOANS) 667 00:29:27,025 --> 00:29:28,735 - Oh, wow. - (MUFFLED) Oh. 668 00:29:28,944 --> 00:29:30,237 It's so good. 669 00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:32,030 That is so good. 670 00:29:32,114 --> 00:29:34,116 - (ANNIE MOANING) - Mmm. 671 00:29:34,199 --> 00:29:35,659 I'm so glad that you like it. 672 00:29:36,159 --> 00:29:39,496 Oh, I like it. I like it a lot. 673 00:29:40,831 --> 00:29:42,082 Oh, shit. 674 00:29:42,165 --> 00:29:44,418 Oh, I've never heard you cuss before. 675 00:29:45,043 --> 00:29:46,962 I like it. Can you... Can you cuss again? 676 00:29:47,045 --> 00:29:49,381 ANNIE: Holy fuck. 677 00:29:49,631 --> 00:29:50,841 (ELLEN CHUCKLES) 678 00:29:52,509 --> 00:29:53,594 (ANNIE MOANING) 679 00:29:54,761 --> 00:29:55,804 ELLEN: Mmm. 680 00:29:55,888 --> 00:29:56,889 Hmm. 681 00:29:56,972 --> 00:30:01,351 So, Kevin, how long have you been divorced? 682 00:30:01,435 --> 00:30:02,519 Long time. 683 00:30:05,063 --> 00:30:07,900 Such a long time. 684 00:30:07,983 --> 00:30:11,361 Okay. You know, this has been great, but I have a big test tomorrow. 685 00:30:11,445 --> 00:30:12,863 - I gotta go study for it, so... - Oh. 686 00:30:12,946 --> 00:30:16,033 I bet Annie's studying for the same test. 687 00:30:16,116 --> 00:30:17,951 - (ANNIE MOANS) - JASON: Whoo. 688 00:30:18,619 --> 00:30:20,579 Okay. Whoa. (CHUCKLES) 689 00:30:20,662 --> 00:30:22,748 - Oh, shit. - Fantastic. 690 00:30:22,873 --> 00:30:24,458 - (MOANING) - KEVIN: You go to East Great Falls? 691 00:30:24,541 --> 00:30:27,252 Actually we both do. I'm the new principal. 692 00:30:27,669 --> 00:30:28,670 Huh. 693 00:30:28,754 --> 00:30:29,755 No way. 694 00:30:29,838 --> 00:30:30,839 You know what? 695 00:30:31,381 --> 00:30:34,218 Annie loves a surprise. We should go up and say hi to her. 696 00:30:34,301 --> 00:30:35,886 Holy fuck. 697 00:30:35,969 --> 00:30:36,970 Whoo! 698 00:30:37,137 --> 00:30:38,138 Oh, shit. 699 00:30:38,722 --> 00:30:39,890 Oh, I'm gonna pop. 700 00:30:39,973 --> 00:30:41,391 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) Hey, honey, you busy? 701 00:30:42,434 --> 00:30:44,102 - No! Hey! - (JASON MOANS LOUDLY) 702 00:30:44,186 --> 00:30:46,271 - Just... Just chillin'. - KEVIN: Well, great. 703 00:30:46,355 --> 00:30:49,149 Because I want to introduce you to your new principal. 704 00:30:49,233 --> 00:30:50,525 This is Miss Fisher. 705 00:30:52,069 --> 00:30:53,820 - Huh. - Hi. 706 00:30:53,904 --> 00:30:55,405 I'm gonna pop! 707 00:30:55,489 --> 00:30:58,075 Oh, I'm popping! I'm popping! 708 00:30:58,575 --> 00:30:59,785 - Oh, I'm gonna pop. - It's been giving me trouble all day. 709 00:30:59,868 --> 00:31:01,620 Just noises coming out of there. 710 00:31:01,995 --> 00:31:04,873 You know, funny story. Annie and I have actually already met. 711 00:31:05,415 --> 00:31:06,917 - At the library. - Oh, yeah. 712 00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:10,254 I was checking out Moby Dick and she had a cute little romance novel. 713 00:31:10,337 --> 00:31:11,463 How is that going for you? 714 00:31:11,546 --> 00:31:14,049 It's so good. 715 00:31:14,132 --> 00:31:15,300 - Good to hear. - Yeah. 716 00:31:15,384 --> 00:31:18,220 You know, I wanna introduce you to my son, Grant. 717 00:31:18,303 --> 00:31:19,805 - Isn't he handsome? - (ANNIE CHUCKLES) 718 00:31:20,264 --> 00:31:22,099 - Nice to meet you. - (VIBRATION ACCELERATING) 719 00:31:22,516 --> 00:31:25,435 - Oh... - I'm Grant. Nice to meet you, too. 720 00:31:27,354 --> 00:31:29,439 You guys hear that? It's like a hum... 721 00:31:30,357 --> 00:31:31,358 ELLEN: Mmm... 722 00:31:31,817 --> 00:31:33,860 No, I'm not... I don't... I don't hear anything. 723 00:31:34,403 --> 00:31:36,363 (ANNIE CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 724 00:31:36,446 --> 00:31:38,365 (SOFTLY) Annie. You okay? 725 00:31:38,448 --> 00:31:40,826 - ANNIE: Oh, I'm... - You know what I think would be good? 726 00:31:40,909 --> 00:31:42,828 I think it would be great if we went downstairs 727 00:31:42,911 --> 00:31:44,955 - and got Annie a hot piece of pie. - Oh! 728 00:31:45,038 --> 00:31:46,456 Oh, God, yes! 729 00:31:46,540 --> 00:31:50,210 Great. You know, sometimes a girl just needs something simple. 730 00:31:50,294 --> 00:31:51,503 - (VIBRATION STOPS) - Am I right, honey? 731 00:31:51,587 --> 00:31:53,964 Here, why don't you give me a tour? Let's start with your bedroom. 732 00:31:54,339 --> 00:31:55,340 (EXHALES HEAVILY) 733 00:32:00,846 --> 00:32:01,972 (VIBRATING) 734 00:32:03,098 --> 00:32:04,099 (VIBRATION STOPS) 735 00:32:05,142 --> 00:32:06,476 - It's very high tech. - Mmm. 736 00:32:08,103 --> 00:32:09,855 - Nice to meet you, Annie. - Mmm-hmm. 737 00:32:10,522 --> 00:32:11,523 Yeah. 738 00:32:16,069 --> 00:32:17,070 (SIGHS) 739 00:32:18,530 --> 00:32:21,491 EMMETT: This year's Homecoming theme is so exciting. 740 00:32:21,575 --> 00:32:26,580 So come as you dream, because we are having a Pajama Party... 741 00:32:26,663 --> 00:32:27,831 {\an8}MORP! Whoop whoop! 742 00:32:27,915 --> 00:32:29,583 That's "prom" spelled backwards. 743 00:32:29,666 --> 00:32:33,086 Uh, instead of tuxedos and gowns, put on your PJs and onesies! 744 00:32:33,170 --> 00:32:34,421 That's crazy! 745 00:32:34,504 --> 00:32:37,466 Now, I have the super important responsibility 746 00:32:37,549 --> 00:32:39,509 of introducing our new leader, 747 00:32:39,593 --> 00:32:41,803 Principal Ellen Fisher. 748 00:32:42,137 --> 00:32:44,056 - ELLEN: Aw, thanks, Emmett. - (EMMETT CLAPPING) 749 00:32:44,264 --> 00:32:45,265 Hello. 750 00:32:45,349 --> 00:32:48,018 I bet you're pretty surprised to see me here in this position. 751 00:32:48,101 --> 00:32:49,269 - Well, guess what? - Holy shit. 752 00:32:49,353 --> 00:32:50,395 I'm surprised, too. 753 00:32:51,063 --> 00:32:52,397 It is her. You're right. 754 00:32:52,773 --> 00:32:53,774 I told you. 755 00:32:54,733 --> 00:32:56,652 You said I'd never see her again. 756 00:32:56,735 --> 00:32:58,153 But I did. 757 00:32:58,570 --> 00:33:01,114 An hour later, in my bedroom, 758 00:33:01,198 --> 00:33:03,283 when I was using a recently-purchased item. 759 00:33:04,493 --> 00:33:06,328 Ew, God. Private conversation. 760 00:33:06,411 --> 00:33:10,999 A strong, accomplished woman who's very comfortable with her sexuality? 761 00:33:11,500 --> 00:33:13,835 She's, like, the perfect role model. 762 00:33:13,919 --> 00:33:16,046 - (ELLEN CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY) - (SIGHS) 763 00:33:17,589 --> 00:33:22,010 ELLEN: It seems that Principal Shankman retired, rather abruptly. 764 00:33:22,094 --> 00:33:25,430 But I know we all wish him very, very well. 765 00:33:25,514 --> 00:33:28,392 So you guys, have a great day. 766 00:33:28,475 --> 00:33:29,768 Go, Trademakers! 767 00:33:30,102 --> 00:33:32,187 - Uh, trailblazers. - Trailblazers. I know. 768 00:33:32,271 --> 00:33:33,772 Go, Trailblazers! (CHUCKLES) 769 00:33:33,855 --> 00:33:34,856 (BELL RINGS) 770 00:33:37,776 --> 00:33:39,069 (OBJECTS CLATTERING) 771 00:33:39,152 --> 00:33:40,237 - Hey, you. - (GASPS) 772 00:33:40,779 --> 00:33:43,323 Hi. Kayla, right? 773 00:33:43,407 --> 00:33:44,491 (LAUGHING LOUDLY) 774 00:33:46,368 --> 00:33:47,536 I got your favorite. 775 00:33:47,786 --> 00:33:49,871 Wow! Thank you. Mmm. 776 00:33:50,789 --> 00:33:52,291 It really does taste like fall. 777 00:33:52,708 --> 00:33:54,001 (LAUGHING LOUDLY) 778 00:33:54,501 --> 00:33:56,378 Oh, it so does. 779 00:33:57,212 --> 00:33:58,255 - You're so funny. - Uh... 780 00:33:58,338 --> 00:34:00,465 I'm just gonna head to class. (CHUCKLES) 781 00:34:00,549 --> 00:34:02,968 Thank you, again, very much. 782 00:34:05,637 --> 00:34:06,638 Mmm. 783 00:34:08,390 --> 00:34:10,684 Hey. Who's that guy? 784 00:34:11,267 --> 00:34:12,769 Who is, uh... Oh! 785 00:34:13,144 --> 00:34:15,188 That guy. That's Grant. 786 00:34:15,772 --> 00:34:16,773 My friend. 787 00:34:16,856 --> 00:34:18,233 My special friend. 788 00:34:18,316 --> 00:34:20,485 We just broke up three days ago. 789 00:34:20,568 --> 00:34:23,113 Tim, are you jealous? 790 00:34:23,196 --> 00:34:25,574 That is so cute. (SIGHS) 791 00:34:25,657 --> 00:34:28,327 You know, if you ever wanted me to drop by... 792 00:34:28,785 --> 00:34:29,785 TIM: Uh... 793 00:34:29,870 --> 00:34:32,039 We're not getting back together. 794 00:34:32,164 --> 00:34:33,164 Oh. 795 00:34:33,247 --> 00:34:35,667 Back together? (WINCES) Who wants that? 796 00:34:35,751 --> 00:34:36,793 (CHUCKLES) 797 00:34:36,877 --> 00:34:39,046 No, I'm just talking about a little ex sex. 798 00:34:40,046 --> 00:34:41,131 Ex sex? 799 00:34:41,214 --> 00:34:43,425 How many times did we sneak off during lunch 800 00:34:43,508 --> 00:34:44,968 and go do it at your place? 801 00:34:45,052 --> 00:34:46,510 What's a few more? 802 00:34:47,595 --> 00:34:50,349 Oh, I mean, if you don't want to, I, you know... 803 00:34:50,432 --> 00:34:52,726 I think I have plans with Grant anyway. So... 804 00:34:52,809 --> 00:34:54,353 Uh, lunchtime. 805 00:34:55,019 --> 00:34:56,021 My place. 806 00:35:01,443 --> 00:35:02,653 BOY: So, you guys getting back together? 807 00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:04,905 That's how a bad bitch does it. 808 00:35:09,868 --> 00:35:11,578 She was holding my spot. Yeah. 809 00:35:14,456 --> 00:35:15,457 Hi. 810 00:35:16,416 --> 00:35:17,584 Remember me? 811 00:35:17,668 --> 00:35:19,253 - No. - Sure you do. 812 00:35:19,336 --> 00:35:22,256 Yesterday, your room, you were pleasuring yourself. 813 00:35:22,547 --> 00:35:23,548 (ANNIE SHUSHING) 814 00:35:23,632 --> 00:35:25,759 Gross, don't say it like that. 815 00:35:26,343 --> 00:35:27,678 Well, how should I say it? 816 00:35:27,761 --> 00:35:29,513 Just don't say it. 817 00:35:29,596 --> 00:35:31,223 Ever. To anyone. 818 00:35:31,306 --> 00:35:34,601 Okay. I won't. 'Cause it's nobody's business. 819 00:35:34,685 --> 00:35:35,936 - Fries, please. - Right. 820 00:35:36,687 --> 00:35:39,398 You know what, to tell you the truth, though, I found the whole thing kind of... 821 00:35:39,481 --> 00:35:41,400 I don't know, endearing. 822 00:35:41,858 --> 00:35:42,859 (SNICKERS) 823 00:35:43,902 --> 00:35:45,112 I have a boyfriend. 824 00:35:45,195 --> 00:35:48,740 No, I know. I didn't get to meet him, but he sounded really nice. 825 00:35:48,824 --> 00:35:50,450 - WOMAN: Eggplant taco? - Yeah. Please. Thank you. 826 00:35:50,534 --> 00:35:54,788 Look, just because you barged into my room while I was having a private moment 827 00:35:54,871 --> 00:35:58,250 with the love of my life, doesn't mean you know me. 828 00:35:58,333 --> 00:35:59,418 I'm sorry. 829 00:35:59,501 --> 00:36:04,298 The "I'm about to pop, I'm popping" guy, that's the love of your life? 830 00:36:05,007 --> 00:36:06,008 (CHUCKLES) 831 00:36:06,717 --> 00:36:09,887 I am in a mature, committed relationship 832 00:36:09,970 --> 00:36:12,139 and if I told Jason the things you are saying... 833 00:36:12,222 --> 00:36:14,725 Oh, you wouldn't be too happy, pal. 834 00:36:14,808 --> 00:36:17,644 Okay. Got it. Pal. 835 00:36:18,353 --> 00:36:21,899 Look, I wish you and your Internet lover a lifetime of happiness. 836 00:36:22,941 --> 00:36:23,942 Enjoy your lunch. 837 00:36:25,027 --> 00:36:26,320 Thank you. 838 00:36:29,406 --> 00:36:30,407 (SIGHS) 839 00:36:31,366 --> 00:36:32,951 You're good at talking to boys. 840 00:36:33,035 --> 00:36:35,245 How do you start? I'm having trouble with my opening. 841 00:36:36,747 --> 00:36:39,166 Well, the damsel-in-distress shit usually works like a charm. 842 00:36:39,791 --> 00:36:42,461 (CHUCKLES) Well, I am not doing that. 843 00:36:42,544 --> 00:36:44,046 Girl, it's amazing how dumb men can get 844 00:36:44,129 --> 00:36:46,465 when they think we actually need them, so... 845 00:36:46,548 --> 00:36:47,674 GRANT: Emmett, what up, man? 846 00:36:48,842 --> 00:36:50,052 STEPHANIE: Hello, sexy. 847 00:36:52,304 --> 00:36:54,306 Okay, why is my wet dream hugging Emmett? 848 00:36:55,849 --> 00:36:56,850 Wait. 849 00:36:57,893 --> 00:36:59,519 You don't actually like Grant, right? 850 00:36:59,603 --> 00:37:00,979 I mean, he's not your type. 851 00:37:01,063 --> 00:37:03,357 What could you two possibly have in common? 852 00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:05,525 Undeniable animal magnetism, baby. 853 00:37:05,859 --> 00:37:08,445 Um, I have to go to, uh... I have a library... 854 00:37:08,528 --> 00:37:09,738 I need to go to the... I have a book. 855 00:37:09,821 --> 00:37:10,989 I gotta... Bye. I'll see you later. 856 00:37:11,073 --> 00:37:12,783 - See ya. - Text me. 857 00:37:12,866 --> 00:37:14,868 MICHELLE: Mmm-hmm. Damsel in distress. 858 00:37:14,952 --> 00:37:16,578 Damsel in distress. Damsel in distress. 859 00:37:17,079 --> 00:37:18,455 That way. 860 00:38:02,374 --> 00:38:03,542 Oh, shit! 861 00:38:07,296 --> 00:38:08,297 - Whoa! - (GROANS) 862 00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:09,881 Ah... 863 00:38:09,965 --> 00:38:11,592 GRANT: You, again. 864 00:38:11,675 --> 00:38:12,759 You okay? 865 00:38:13,051 --> 00:38:14,219 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 866 00:38:15,178 --> 00:38:16,263 {\an8}MICHELLE: Yeah. 867 00:38:16,513 --> 00:38:17,514 Whoa. 868 00:38:17,598 --> 00:38:19,808 - Hi. - Hi. 869 00:38:20,309 --> 00:38:24,730 I'm just so fragile and delicate. 870 00:38:25,439 --> 00:38:26,440 Okay. 871 00:38:26,523 --> 00:38:27,524 Wow. 872 00:38:28,191 --> 00:38:31,570 Your neck is very muscly. 873 00:38:31,653 --> 00:38:33,280 - Thank you. - Mmm-hmm. 874 00:38:33,363 --> 00:38:36,033 I think maybe we should get you some medical attention. 875 00:38:36,116 --> 00:38:37,701 - Okay. - Okay. 876 00:38:40,913 --> 00:38:42,205 Mind if I join you? 877 00:38:42,748 --> 00:38:43,749 Hey. 878 00:38:44,124 --> 00:38:46,793 What? Uh, no. Why? 879 00:38:46,877 --> 00:38:48,837 Oh, come on. We don't even talk anymore. 880 00:38:48,921 --> 00:38:50,839 Yeah. Not since fifth grade, 881 00:38:50,923 --> 00:38:53,967 when you told everyone I wet my pants at recess. 882 00:38:54,676 --> 00:38:55,719 But you did. 883 00:38:56,136 --> 00:38:57,846 No, it was a malfunctioning water fountain. 884 00:38:57,930 --> 00:38:58,972 Oh, right. Okay. 885 00:38:59,056 --> 00:39:00,807 Look, I'm reading, all right? 886 00:39:00,891 --> 00:39:03,143 And I know this isn't a practice you're familiar with, 887 00:39:03,227 --> 00:39:04,770 but it's a nonverbal cue 888 00:39:04,853 --> 00:39:08,148 which says I'm enjoying some solitary time, so, maybe don't bother me. 889 00:39:08,232 --> 00:39:11,151 Okay, well I kind of feel bad about the whole wetting-the-pants thing, now. 890 00:39:11,818 --> 00:39:12,861 Yeah, you should. 891 00:39:15,489 --> 00:39:17,282 Hey, the guy you were talking to, Grant. 892 00:39:18,242 --> 00:39:19,326 You guys friends? 893 00:39:19,576 --> 00:39:23,038 Uh, we've only been roommates at band camp the last seven summers, 894 00:39:23,121 --> 00:39:24,122 so, uh, yeah. 895 00:39:24,206 --> 00:39:26,375 - Yeah, we're friends. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. Grant's in band? 896 00:39:26,458 --> 00:39:27,459 No shit. 897 00:39:27,542 --> 00:39:30,087 Yeah. He's an incredibly talented saxophone player. 898 00:39:30,170 --> 00:39:31,463 - Boring. - No. 899 00:39:31,546 --> 00:39:35,092 Sax is the sexiest wind instrument. So it's not boring. 900 00:39:35,175 --> 00:39:37,970 Okay. What are his hobbies? What's he like? 901 00:39:38,053 --> 00:39:40,472 Okay, you haven't spoken to me in like nine years, 902 00:39:40,556 --> 00:39:43,600 so why don't you go ask Grant these questions? 903 00:39:43,684 --> 00:39:45,561 Okay, look, Emmett, I'm kinda turning over a new leaf. 904 00:39:46,186 --> 00:39:49,773 I'm looking to date a different type, someone nice. 905 00:39:49,856 --> 00:39:52,234 And anyway, my charms of seduction don't seem to be working on him, 906 00:39:52,317 --> 00:39:54,736 so I was thinking that, I don't know, you'd help me out. 907 00:39:54,820 --> 00:39:58,365 You want me to help trick my good friend Grant into liking you? 908 00:39:58,740 --> 00:39:59,783 Yeah, that's pretty much it. 909 00:39:59,908 --> 00:40:00,909 Hmm. 910 00:40:01,076 --> 00:40:03,954 Just so he can be another notch on your lipstick case? 911 00:40:04,037 --> 00:40:06,748 Okay, news flash. I don't have a lipstick case. 912 00:40:06,832 --> 00:40:08,959 And neither does anyone under the age of 80, so... 913 00:40:09,042 --> 00:40:10,919 Look, dude, are you gonna help me or what? 914 00:40:11,336 --> 00:40:13,088 (SCOFFS) Well, I foresee a couple of problems. 915 00:40:13,171 --> 00:40:14,172 What? 916 00:40:14,256 --> 00:40:17,134 Well, Grant, he's got this whole good taste thing. 917 00:40:17,217 --> 00:40:19,094 Yeah, and then... And then there's my integrity. 918 00:40:19,177 --> 00:40:24,141 I'm reluctant to help trick my friend into a romance with a dementor. 919 00:40:24,558 --> 00:40:25,559 (CHUCKLES) 920 00:40:26,685 --> 00:40:27,686 What's that? 921 00:40:27,769 --> 00:40:30,397 Dark creatures that consume human happiness. 922 00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:31,607 It's from Harry Potter. 923 00:40:31,690 --> 00:40:33,859 Wow, you are such a fucking nerd. 924 00:40:37,404 --> 00:40:38,697 Look, I'll give you 20 bucks. 925 00:40:40,449 --> 00:40:42,576 How dare you? You know, this guy's a friend. 926 00:40:42,659 --> 00:40:44,995 It's $100 minimum. 927 00:40:48,206 --> 00:40:49,416 Better be worth it. 928 00:40:50,667 --> 00:40:52,294 Hey, I think we need a nurse. 929 00:40:52,377 --> 00:40:54,630 Injured student. Code Blue! 930 00:40:54,796 --> 00:40:55,797 Huh? 931 00:40:55,881 --> 00:40:56,882 No... 932 00:40:56,965 --> 00:40:58,800 No, no, no. No Code Blue. I'm fine. Really, I'm fine. 933 00:40:58,884 --> 00:41:00,010 Grant, what happened? Are you okay? 934 00:41:00,093 --> 00:41:01,094 I've got this, Principal Fisher. 935 00:41:01,178 --> 00:41:02,471 Grant, put her in this chair, all right? I'll get her to the nurse. 936 00:41:02,554 --> 00:41:04,640 - Here we go. You're good. - No, no, no. I... 937 00:41:04,723 --> 00:41:06,016 - Hey, take good care of her. - Good work. 938 00:41:06,099 --> 00:41:07,351 - But, uh... - Oh, my God, 939 00:41:07,434 --> 00:41:09,061 - your hair smells so beautiful. - (STUTTERS) 940 00:41:09,853 --> 00:41:10,854 (MICHELLE SIGHS) 941 00:41:10,938 --> 00:41:12,606 Seriously, it's fine. You don't have to push me. 942 00:41:12,689 --> 00:41:14,942 No, no, no, we're not taking any chances here, all right? 943 00:41:15,025 --> 00:41:16,735 Not with the Academic Decathlon captain. 944 00:41:16,818 --> 00:41:18,362 We need you this weekend against Parkway High. 945 00:41:18,445 --> 00:41:21,073 - You watch the Academic Decathlon? - Of course. 946 00:41:21,156 --> 00:41:23,575 Are you the guy that's always holding up signs and cheering? 947 00:41:23,659 --> 00:41:25,869 Yeah. Yeah, that's me. Oliver. 948 00:41:25,953 --> 00:41:27,788 Ollie, if you're nasty. 949 00:41:27,871 --> 00:41:29,414 Okay, I'm gonna ignore that last part. 950 00:41:29,498 --> 00:41:32,334 Listen, Principal Fisher and her son, are they close? 951 00:41:32,417 --> 00:41:34,127 Yeah. Yeah. Real modern family. 952 00:41:34,211 --> 00:41:35,629 Single mom, only child. 953 00:41:36,129 --> 00:41:38,173 And you're her student aide. 954 00:41:38,257 --> 00:41:40,008 Do you need any help in the office? 955 00:41:40,092 --> 00:41:41,134 OLIVER: Yes! 956 00:41:41,218 --> 00:41:42,219 MICHELLE: Great. 957 00:41:42,803 --> 00:41:44,012 (BOTH MOANING) 958 00:41:44,096 --> 00:41:45,264 (WASHING MACHINE WHIRRING) 959 00:41:47,140 --> 00:41:48,141 (THUDS) 960 00:41:50,769 --> 00:41:51,979 (BOTH PANTING) 961 00:41:52,604 --> 00:41:53,939 (WASHING MACHINE STOPS WHIRRING) 962 00:41:54,022 --> 00:41:55,023 Wow. 963 00:41:55,107 --> 00:41:56,608 - That was... - Yum. 964 00:41:56,692 --> 00:41:59,486 - That was, um... (GRUNTS) Different. - Oh. 965 00:41:59,570 --> 00:42:01,530 - Um... - I like. 966 00:42:02,948 --> 00:42:04,116 Yeah. 967 00:42:04,199 --> 00:42:09,746 Yeah, something about the, uh, impulsive nature of our meeting 968 00:42:09,830 --> 00:42:13,041 made me feel a little wild. Didn't it? 969 00:42:13,375 --> 00:42:14,668 Oh, yeah. 970 00:42:14,751 --> 00:42:17,546 Casual hookups, no strings, no emotions. 971 00:42:17,629 --> 00:42:18,964 I am so good. 972 00:42:19,423 --> 00:42:21,258 Whoo. I'm gonna head out. 973 00:42:21,341 --> 00:42:22,759 Wait. You don't have to go yet. 974 00:42:22,843 --> 00:42:26,263 Oh, no. Super fun frolic. Bang ya later. Maybe not. Who knows? 975 00:42:26,346 --> 00:42:27,681 Gotta go back to school. 976 00:42:41,028 --> 00:42:44,281 Oh, so you just happened to be in the library during your free period? 977 00:42:44,781 --> 00:42:47,242 - Well, that's one way to say hello. - Sorry. 978 00:42:47,326 --> 00:42:49,912 Hi, Grant. I'm afraid now is not a good time 979 00:42:49,995 --> 00:42:51,371 to inappropriately flirt with me, 980 00:42:51,455 --> 00:42:53,749 not only because I have a boyfriend, 981 00:42:53,832 --> 00:42:58,045 but also because my fascist French teacher also decided he likes daily pop quizzes. 982 00:42:58,128 --> 00:43:00,964 So I guess I'll be spending my free periods learning French. 983 00:43:01,048 --> 00:43:03,800 Damn. You're really feeling yourself, huh? 984 00:43:03,884 --> 00:43:06,178 I'm just sitting here, minding my business. 985 00:43:06,261 --> 00:43:07,804 Oh, so you're not gonna flirt with me? 986 00:43:07,888 --> 00:43:09,181 I mean, I'm not, now. 987 00:43:09,264 --> 00:43:10,891 Took all the fun out of it. 988 00:43:10,974 --> 00:43:11,975 (SIGHS) 989 00:43:13,101 --> 00:43:14,102 All right, wait. 990 00:43:14,186 --> 00:43:17,147 I get it. Okay. You have a boyfriend. 991 00:43:17,231 --> 00:43:18,232 I'm sorry. 992 00:43:18,690 --> 00:43:22,653 It's just fun seeing you get all flustered and worked up. 993 00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:25,197 You know, I actually speak French. 994 00:43:25,739 --> 00:43:27,991 I'd be more than happy to help you prep for the quizzes. 995 00:43:28,075 --> 00:43:30,911 Just friends. Study buddies. 996 00:43:30,994 --> 00:43:33,205 All right, no funny business. 997 00:43:33,288 --> 00:43:34,623 Truth is, I'm kind of lonely. 998 00:43:34,706 --> 00:43:36,792 I mean, I don't know anyone at this school. 999 00:43:36,875 --> 00:43:39,294 You'd be doing me a favor, seriously. 1000 00:43:39,711 --> 00:43:41,463 You really speak French? 1001 00:43:41,546 --> 00:43:42,798 Oui, oui. 1002 00:43:42,923 --> 00:43:43,924 (CHUCKLES) 1003 00:43:45,634 --> 00:43:46,843 Fine. 1004 00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:52,808 Just study buddies. 1005 00:43:52,891 --> 00:43:53,892 Of course. 1006 00:43:56,103 --> 00:43:58,105 (UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING) 1007 00:44:06,405 --> 00:44:08,782 A goddess on a mountain top 1008 00:44:10,075 --> 00:44:12,452 Was burning like a silver flame 1009 00:44:13,829 --> 00:44:16,290 The summit of beauty and love 1010 00:44:17,374 --> 00:44:19,251 And Venus was her name 1011 00:44:21,128 --> 00:44:22,254 She's got it 1012 00:44:23,755 --> 00:44:25,716 Yeah, baby, she's got it 1013 00:44:29,136 --> 00:44:31,096 I'm your Venus 1014 00:44:31,179 --> 00:44:33,974 I'm your fire At your desire 1015 00:44:36,143 --> 00:44:38,687 Well, I'm your Venus 1016 00:44:38,770 --> 00:44:41,773 I'm your fire At your desire 1017 00:44:43,901 --> 00:44:47,070 Her weapons were her crystal eyes 1018 00:44:47,779 --> 00:44:50,240 Making every man mad 1019 00:44:51,158 --> 00:44:54,286 Black as the dark night she was 1020 00:44:54,369 --> 00:44:57,080 Got what no one else has 1021 00:44:58,874 --> 00:44:59,958 She's got it 1022 00:45:01,251 --> 00:45:03,295 Yeah, baby, she's got it 1023 00:45:06,965 --> 00:45:08,634 I'm your Venus 1024 00:45:08,717 --> 00:45:11,887 I'm your fire At your desire 1025 00:45:13,597 --> 00:45:15,933 Well, I'm your Venus 1026 00:45:16,016 --> 00:45:19,102 I'm your fire At your desire 1027 00:45:31,240 --> 00:45:33,533 Yeah, baby, she's got it 1028 00:45:35,035 --> 00:45:37,329 Yeah, baby, she's got it 1029 00:45:38,789 --> 00:45:40,290 She's got it 1030 00:45:40,374 --> 00:45:44,127 This whole walk home I've been putting off asking you to my mom's party. 1031 00:45:44,211 --> 00:45:46,129 You know, teachers, old people, 1032 00:45:46,213 --> 00:45:47,422 - total rager. - (CHUCKLES) 1033 00:45:47,506 --> 00:45:50,801 And it's Saturday afternoon, as if it's for a child, so, even better. 1034 00:45:50,884 --> 00:45:54,304 Uh, as fun as that sounds, I... 1035 00:45:54,388 --> 00:45:58,392 See, that excitement level was exactly why I put this off until the end of our walk. 1036 00:45:58,475 --> 00:46:01,395 But lucky for me, your dad's totally gonna make you go, anyway. 1037 00:46:01,478 --> 00:46:04,064 Yeah, I think him and my mom, like, have something going on. 1038 00:46:04,147 --> 00:46:07,067 (CHUCKLES) Ew. Anyways, see you at the party. 1039 00:46:07,484 --> 00:46:08,777 Wait. What? 1040 00:46:09,403 --> 00:46:10,904 - You're welcome. - (CHUCKLES) 1041 00:46:12,030 --> 00:46:13,031 Ew. 1042 00:46:14,533 --> 00:46:15,784 (POP SONG PLAYING) 1043 00:46:16,994 --> 00:46:20,080 I was all caught up for a while 1044 00:46:20,163 --> 00:46:22,124 EMMETT: I've dug up great stuff on Grant, so just, uh, wait here, 1045 00:46:22,207 --> 00:46:23,542 and don't steal anything. Okay? 1046 00:46:23,625 --> 00:46:24,626 Great. 1047 00:46:25,627 --> 00:46:26,837 (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1048 00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:29,548 Too bad I was acting like a child 1049 00:46:29,631 --> 00:46:30,632 (CHUCKLES) 1050 00:46:31,049 --> 00:46:34,177 I'd rather act like the woman I am 1051 00:46:40,893 --> 00:46:41,894 (CHUCKLES) 1052 00:46:50,235 --> 00:46:51,820 - What the shit is this? - Wow. 1053 00:46:51,904 --> 00:46:54,907 Your grasp of the English language continues to astound. 1054 00:46:54,990 --> 00:46:58,785 Uh, wow. Well, uh, I guess I don't redecorate as much as I should. 1055 00:46:58,869 --> 00:47:00,412 Oh, hardy-fuckin'-har. 1056 00:47:00,495 --> 00:47:03,165 You have a picture of me. Framed. 1057 00:47:03,248 --> 00:47:06,168 I know you probably didn't notice this, but I'm in the picture as well. 1058 00:47:08,462 --> 00:47:10,130 God, we were like nine. 1059 00:47:10,714 --> 00:47:12,299 Dude, why do you even have this? 1060 00:47:12,382 --> 00:47:14,051 I like it. Okay? 1061 00:47:14,426 --> 00:47:16,220 Look at these kids, all right? They're friends. 1062 00:47:16,303 --> 00:47:17,888 No one's judging. 1063 00:47:17,971 --> 00:47:19,514 No one has their feelings hurt. 1064 00:47:19,598 --> 00:47:22,559 So I keep this around. 1065 00:47:23,685 --> 00:47:24,978 You got a problem with that? 1066 00:47:26,271 --> 00:47:27,272 No. 1067 00:47:27,356 --> 00:47:31,276 Now, if you're ready to set your psychological sex trap, 1068 00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:33,779 I've got a decade of backstory. 1069 00:47:33,862 --> 00:47:36,657 I can't express how much I don't wanna go inside. 1070 00:47:36,740 --> 00:47:38,784 Okay, you know what? It's time that you understand 1071 00:47:38,867 --> 00:47:40,994 what you want doesn't really matter. 1072 00:47:41,078 --> 00:47:42,454 Take me, for example. 1073 00:47:42,537 --> 00:47:45,707 I wake up every morning and I drag myself to a job that I hate. 1074 00:47:45,791 --> 00:47:48,377 Ah, life lesson. Neat. 1075 00:47:48,460 --> 00:47:49,878 The point is... 1076 00:47:49,962 --> 00:47:53,632 I'm gonna be fine as long as you don't cock-block me tonight. 1077 00:47:53,715 --> 00:47:54,716 Comprende? 1078 00:47:54,925 --> 00:47:55,926 Ew! 1079 00:47:56,218 --> 00:47:57,261 (BOTH GROAN IN DISGUST) 1080 00:47:57,344 --> 00:47:59,846 - Daddy! Gross. Yes. - Gross! 1081 00:47:59,930 --> 00:48:00,973 Get in there and be social. 1082 00:48:01,431 --> 00:48:02,766 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1083 00:48:13,068 --> 00:48:14,069 KEVIN: Oh, yeah. 1084 00:48:16,071 --> 00:48:17,864 It's on like Donkey Kong. 1085 00:48:18,532 --> 00:48:19,741 - Donkey what? - See ya later. 1086 00:48:22,953 --> 00:48:24,955 KAYLA: Party in the house! 1087 00:48:26,540 --> 00:48:28,417 - Oh, yes. - Oh, what are you doing here? 1088 00:48:28,500 --> 00:48:30,669 MICHELLE: No way. STEPHANIE: What up, bitches? 1089 00:48:30,752 --> 00:48:32,713 MICHELLE: What? STEPHANIE: Is this a wake or what? 1090 00:48:32,796 --> 00:48:34,923 I'm super confused. Why are you all here right now? 1091 00:48:35,007 --> 00:48:36,008 GRANT: Hey, Annie. 1092 00:48:36,717 --> 00:48:38,010 - Ladies. - GIRLS: Hey. 1093 00:48:38,093 --> 00:48:40,304 Thank you for all coming to my mom's lame party. 1094 00:48:40,387 --> 00:48:42,431 Wait. I didn't know you guys all knew Grant that well. 1095 00:48:42,514 --> 00:48:45,434 Yeah, I only bought him, like, three pumpkin spice lattes this week. 1096 00:48:45,517 --> 00:48:46,518 Right? 1097 00:48:46,602 --> 00:48:49,313 Well, he, um, carried me to safety when I broke my leg. 1098 00:48:49,396 --> 00:48:50,439 (CHUCKLES) 1099 00:48:50,522 --> 00:48:52,149 ANNIE: When did you... Which one? STEPHANIE: Break your... Yeah. 1100 00:48:52,232 --> 00:48:54,151 It's much better now. Stephanie, what are you doing here? 1101 00:48:54,234 --> 00:48:55,569 - I came with Emmett. - Who? 1102 00:48:55,652 --> 00:48:56,778 - (OBJECT CLATTERING) - That kid. Yeah. 1103 00:48:56,862 --> 00:48:58,989 So, he's Grant's best friend and I'm friends with Emmett, 1104 00:48:59,072 --> 00:49:00,490 so it's kind of like Grant and I are besties. 1105 00:49:00,574 --> 00:49:01,575 - Right? - Is it? 1106 00:49:01,658 --> 00:49:02,826 Sure. 1107 00:49:02,910 --> 00:49:04,244 Oh, and where's your boyfriend, Kayla? 1108 00:49:04,328 --> 00:49:06,496 I told you, Stephanie, 1109 00:49:06,580 --> 00:49:08,206 - we broke up. - Mmm. 1110 00:49:08,290 --> 00:49:10,584 You keep on saying how nonstop the sex has been, right? 1111 00:49:10,667 --> 00:49:12,127 - Yeah. - STEPHANIE: It's been like dirty 1112 00:49:12,210 --> 00:49:13,670 and hungry, you know what I mean? 1113 00:49:13,754 --> 00:49:14,755 Okay, uh, let's have a little... 1114 00:49:14,838 --> 00:49:16,256 Can we have a little girls', like, powwow, just outside? 1115 00:49:16,340 --> 00:49:17,382 No, I'm fine. 1116 00:49:17,466 --> 00:49:20,719 Okay, so apparently you've all chosen Grant for the pact? 1117 00:49:20,802 --> 00:49:22,679 Yeah, he's smart and articulate. 1118 00:49:22,763 --> 00:49:23,847 Yeah, nice guy. 1119 00:49:23,931 --> 00:49:25,140 - I mean, he hasn't hit on me once. - MICHELLE: Hmm. 1120 00:49:25,224 --> 00:49:28,435 Have we considered if that's because he's just not into you? 1121 00:49:28,518 --> 00:49:29,519 Screw you. 1122 00:49:29,603 --> 00:49:31,688 Rule number three, I'm calling you on your bullshit. 1123 00:49:31,772 --> 00:49:33,649 Making Tim jealous is not your goal. 1124 00:49:33,732 --> 00:49:35,609 STEPHANIE: And as your accountability partner, I'm just reminding you, 1125 00:49:35,692 --> 00:49:38,070 - neither is kissing up to Grant's mom. - Oh. 1126 00:49:38,153 --> 00:49:39,821 Rule number two, we are best friends. 1127 00:49:39,905 --> 00:49:40,906 We should support each other. 1128 00:49:40,989 --> 00:49:42,741 We shouldn't let some boy come between us. 1129 00:49:43,075 --> 00:49:44,076 Us? 1130 00:49:44,159 --> 00:49:45,244 (LAUGHING) 1131 00:49:45,327 --> 00:49:46,995 I meant between you. 1132 00:49:47,079 --> 00:49:50,040 Right. 'Cause Emmett and I have seen you having little French lessons with Grant. 1133 00:49:50,123 --> 00:49:51,124 Uh-huh. We've been studying. 1134 00:49:51,208 --> 00:49:52,251 "Studying." 1135 00:49:52,334 --> 00:49:53,502 I have a boyfriend. 1136 00:49:53,585 --> 00:49:56,129 God, yes, Annie, we get it. Thank you! 1137 00:49:56,213 --> 00:49:57,214 - (DOOR OPENS) - GRANT: Hey! 1138 00:49:57,798 --> 00:49:58,799 Everything cool? 1139 00:49:59,299 --> 00:50:01,051 STEPHANIE: You know, we should just table this. Okay? 1140 00:50:01,134 --> 00:50:02,135 - MICHELLE: But... - Tabled! 1141 00:50:02,427 --> 00:50:03,470 Uh... 1142 00:50:03,554 --> 00:50:04,972 KAYLA: (GROANS) Stifler. 1143 00:50:05,389 --> 00:50:06,807 It doesn't seem like he's that into her. 1144 00:50:06,890 --> 00:50:08,767 Hmm. I thought you didn't care. 1145 00:50:08,850 --> 00:50:10,852 I'm just making an observation. 1146 00:50:11,687 --> 00:50:12,688 Right. 1147 00:50:12,771 --> 00:50:14,439 You two, guard the stairs. 1148 00:50:14,523 --> 00:50:15,857 I'm gonna do some recon. 1149 00:50:15,941 --> 00:50:16,942 What does that mean? 1150 00:50:17,025 --> 00:50:20,153 You know, check out his room, scope it out, smell his underwear. 1151 00:50:20,237 --> 00:50:21,655 - I don't know. Bing-bang-boom. - What? 1152 00:50:21,738 --> 00:50:24,241 That's kind of an invasion of his privacy. 1153 00:50:24,700 --> 00:50:26,410 - It is? - Hmm? 1154 00:50:26,493 --> 00:50:28,328 - (FAKE CRYING) Oh, my God, his privacy! - Yeah. 1155 00:50:28,412 --> 00:50:30,414 - Just guard the stairs, nerds. - Okay. 1156 00:50:33,834 --> 00:50:34,835 Oh, boy. 1157 00:50:34,918 --> 00:50:38,088 MICHELLE: You know, I think I'm gonna do some recon work of my own. 1158 00:50:38,547 --> 00:50:39,881 - Okay. Bye. - Bye. 1159 00:50:55,898 --> 00:51:00,736 {\an8}So, I do have some goodies, but not enough to go around. 1160 00:51:00,819 --> 00:51:02,654 - Oh, I don't care if anybody... - MICHELLE: Hey, Annie's dad! 1161 00:51:02,738 --> 00:51:04,740 Principal Fisher. I just wanted to tell you 1162 00:51:04,823 --> 00:51:07,910 that I am so excited to have a strong female role model to look up to. 1163 00:51:07,993 --> 00:51:10,329 - I was thinking maybe you and I could... - Aw! Oliver! 1164 00:51:10,412 --> 00:51:11,413 (CLEARS THROAT) Hmm. 1165 00:51:11,872 --> 00:51:13,248 - MICHELLE: Uh, uh... - Hi. Principal Fisher 1166 00:51:13,332 --> 00:51:15,584 doesn't wanna talk to you anymore, but I would love to. 1167 00:51:15,667 --> 00:51:18,003 - Do you wanna hear my JFK? - Who are you? 1168 00:51:18,086 --> 00:51:19,755 STEPHANIE: Something's been missing out of my life. 1169 00:51:19,838 --> 00:51:21,965 You know, like a void that needs to be filled, even. 1170 00:51:22,049 --> 00:51:23,050 (BONES CRACKING) 1171 00:51:23,133 --> 00:51:24,176 - Ow! - Oh, sorry. 1172 00:51:24,259 --> 00:51:26,136 STEPHANIE: Okay, look, I sense some resistance 1173 00:51:26,220 --> 00:51:27,596 and I really don't know what the problem is, 1174 00:51:27,679 --> 00:51:29,806 so if you could just, like, clear that up for me, that'd be great. 1175 00:51:29,890 --> 00:51:30,891 Okay. 1176 00:51:30,974 --> 00:51:34,061 Uh, well, for one, you hit me in the head with a lacrosse ball, so... 1177 00:51:34,144 --> 00:51:35,562 Dude, it was an accident. 1178 00:51:35,646 --> 00:51:36,813 - Was it? - Yeah. 1179 00:51:36,897 --> 00:51:38,649 Mmm... I mean, I saw the Venmo. 1180 00:51:38,732 --> 00:51:41,485 You got paid 20 bucks for knocking out the new hot guy. 1181 00:51:41,568 --> 00:51:43,737 - Well, have you seen yourself? - (CHUCKLES) 1182 00:51:44,780 --> 00:51:46,198 I forgot something in my room. 1183 00:51:46,281 --> 00:51:47,908 - I'll be back. - All right. 1184 00:51:47,991 --> 00:51:50,077 - Nice ass. - Yeah, thank you. 1185 00:51:52,120 --> 00:51:53,538 (MUFFLED) Oh, shit. 1186 00:51:54,957 --> 00:51:56,083 What the... 1187 00:51:59,211 --> 00:52:00,462 (CAMERA CLICKING) 1188 00:52:00,921 --> 00:52:02,089 - (DOOR OPENING) - Oh. 1189 00:52:04,258 --> 00:52:05,551 Grant! 1190 00:52:05,634 --> 00:52:06,718 Hi. 1191 00:52:07,302 --> 00:52:08,554 Hey, you're, uh... 1192 00:52:08,637 --> 00:52:09,972 - You're missing the party. - (SNIFFS) 1193 00:52:10,055 --> 00:52:13,100 Yeah, I'm, uh, kinda hiding, actually. 1194 00:52:13,183 --> 00:52:17,938 That girl Stephanie is so extra and kind of terrifying. 1195 00:52:18,021 --> 00:52:19,022 Oh. 1196 00:52:19,481 --> 00:52:22,359 Uh, for your information, guys are obsessed with her 1197 00:52:22,442 --> 00:52:25,153 and she also happens to be a really great person. 1198 00:52:25,237 --> 00:52:26,238 So, um... 1199 00:52:26,655 --> 00:52:27,906 I didn't mean anything by it. 1200 00:52:27,990 --> 00:52:30,284 She's really nice. Just not my type. 1201 00:52:31,577 --> 00:52:32,661 You are. 1202 00:52:33,787 --> 00:52:35,956 - Uh... - (BOTH CHUCKLE) 1203 00:52:37,499 --> 00:52:40,794 I'm sorry. I know you have a boyfriend, 1204 00:52:40,877 --> 00:52:44,006 and I'm not supposed to say or feel anything, 1205 00:52:44,089 --> 00:52:46,592 and I don't wanna ruin the only friendship I have. 1206 00:52:46,884 --> 00:52:48,010 No. 1207 00:52:48,260 --> 00:52:49,261 No? 1208 00:53:01,857 --> 00:53:02,858 (CAMERA CLICKS) 1209 00:53:05,027 --> 00:53:06,320 Oh, hi. 1210 00:53:07,154 --> 00:53:08,822 Breaking news, bitches! 1211 00:53:10,115 --> 00:53:11,116 Oh, shit. 1212 00:53:13,410 --> 00:53:14,411 (ALL GASP) 1213 00:53:14,494 --> 00:53:15,495 (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 1214 00:53:17,289 --> 00:53:18,290 Whoa! 1215 00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:21,001 Oh, shit. 1216 00:53:21,668 --> 00:53:22,669 (GIRLS GROANING) 1217 00:53:24,713 --> 00:53:26,632 Wow. It is like Donkey Kong. 1218 00:53:27,925 --> 00:53:28,926 I'm okay. 1219 00:53:36,516 --> 00:53:37,517 GRANT: Ow. 1220 00:53:39,102 --> 00:53:40,771 Okay, what the hell was that? 1221 00:53:40,854 --> 00:53:42,940 Let me answer that question with another question. 1222 00:53:43,023 --> 00:53:44,483 - What the hell is this? - (GASPS) 1223 00:53:44,566 --> 00:53:45,567 MICHELLE: Annie! 1224 00:53:45,984 --> 00:53:47,694 You said that you weren't even interested in Grant. 1225 00:53:47,778 --> 00:53:49,696 First of all, shh. Second of all, delete that. 1226 00:53:49,780 --> 00:53:51,531 - I... I didn't do anything. - KAYLA: (MOCKING) "I didn't do..." 1227 00:53:51,615 --> 00:53:53,825 You were practically eating his face. 1228 00:53:53,909 --> 00:53:56,078 - That's dramatic. - What'd it taste like? 1229 00:53:56,161 --> 00:53:57,621 Guys! I am sticky and embarrassed 1230 00:53:57,704 --> 00:53:59,748 and I just got rejected by a man for the first time in my life. 1231 00:53:59,831 --> 00:54:01,083 - Oh, boo-hoo! - Go cry me a river. 1232 00:54:01,166 --> 00:54:02,167 STEPHANIE: Let's just call it a day. 1233 00:54:02,251 --> 00:54:03,627 - Cool? - Fine. 1234 00:54:03,710 --> 00:54:05,420 Fine. I don't even care! 1235 00:54:06,672 --> 00:54:09,091 Hey, Annie. Can we talk real quick? 1236 00:54:09,174 --> 00:54:12,636 - Uh, nothing to talk about. - Really? 1237 00:54:12,719 --> 00:54:15,889 How about the girl doing a photo shoot in my lacrosse uniform 1238 00:54:15,973 --> 00:54:18,016 or I don't know, how we kissed and you hit me? 1239 00:54:18,100 --> 00:54:19,268 We did not kiss. 1240 00:54:20,018 --> 00:54:21,019 You kissed me. 1241 00:54:21,311 --> 00:54:22,980 - Unannounced. Without permission. - (SCOFFS) 1242 00:54:23,063 --> 00:54:25,566 Come on. You gave me permission with your face. 1243 00:54:26,525 --> 00:54:29,194 You gave me kiss face. It was... It was like... 1244 00:54:29,778 --> 00:54:31,947 - Oh, my face did not do that. - Yeah. 1245 00:54:32,030 --> 00:54:33,031 - Yes, it did. - It did not. 1246 00:54:33,115 --> 00:54:34,908 - That's exactly what it did. - I'm... I'm just gonna go home. 1247 00:54:34,992 --> 00:54:36,493 - Okay. - So it was good seeing you. 1248 00:54:37,786 --> 00:54:38,829 - You live that way. - I live that way. 1249 00:54:38,912 --> 00:54:40,372 - Yup. - I knew that. 1250 00:54:40,706 --> 00:54:42,082 (SLOW FRENCH ROCK SONG PLAYING) 1251 00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:07,649 (DOORBELL RINGS) 1252 00:55:19,202 --> 00:55:20,579 Bonjour. 1253 00:55:20,662 --> 00:55:21,997 (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1254 00:55:30,464 --> 00:55:31,465 {\an8}(SPEAKING FRENCH) 1255 00:55:36,345 --> 00:55:37,804 (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1256 00:56:06,458 --> 00:56:07,459 (GASPS) 1257 00:56:08,043 --> 00:56:09,044 (SIGHS) 1258 00:56:13,257 --> 00:56:14,466 (IN ENGLISH) No, no, no. 1259 00:56:14,883 --> 00:56:16,009 No, no, no. 1260 00:56:16,468 --> 00:56:18,011 You don't like Grant. 1261 00:56:18,095 --> 00:56:20,472 You love Jason. 1262 00:56:23,725 --> 00:56:24,893 (BELL RINGING) 1263 00:56:30,232 --> 00:56:32,693 Nope. Nope, nope, nope. 1264 00:56:36,697 --> 00:56:38,490 Uh, biology is this way. 1265 00:56:38,574 --> 00:56:39,700 I'm going to see Jason. 1266 00:56:39,783 --> 00:56:41,535 This waiting around is making me crazy. 1267 00:56:41,618 --> 00:56:44,538 Wait. Are you cutting class? You never cut class. 1268 00:56:44,621 --> 00:56:46,665 Some things are more important. He's only three hours away. 1269 00:56:46,748 --> 00:56:49,126 I can get there, bang it out, get my head straight, 1270 00:56:49,209 --> 00:56:50,502 be back before dinner. 1271 00:56:50,586 --> 00:56:52,838 - Annie, are you talking about... - Sex! 1272 00:56:52,921 --> 00:56:55,924 I'm going to have sex with the man that I love. 1273 00:56:56,008 --> 00:56:57,175 BOY: Yo, girl, go get you some! 1274 00:56:57,259 --> 00:56:58,635 GIRL: No glove, no love! 1275 00:56:58,719 --> 00:57:01,555 Okay! I'm so excited for you. 1276 00:57:02,139 --> 00:57:03,640 Let me get this straight. 1277 00:57:03,724 --> 00:57:06,226 You went from Tim's girlfriend to his side piece. 1278 00:57:07,352 --> 00:57:09,479 And you're happy with that? Isn't that kind of like a demotion? 1279 00:57:09,563 --> 00:57:11,315 No, you don't get it. It's casual. 1280 00:57:11,398 --> 00:57:12,774 Girl, I invented casual. 1281 00:57:12,858 --> 00:57:14,067 That's not what you're doing. 1282 00:57:14,151 --> 00:57:15,527 What you're doing is pretending it's casual 1283 00:57:15,611 --> 00:57:17,446 so you can still fuck the guy you like. 1284 00:57:18,488 --> 00:57:20,449 - Oh, my God. - There ya go. 1285 00:57:20,532 --> 00:57:22,659 I do still like him. 1286 00:57:22,743 --> 00:57:28,081 Our casual, no-strings-attached sex is neither casual nor without strings! 1287 00:57:28,165 --> 00:57:30,334 - There are feelings! - Does Tim know that? 1288 00:57:30,751 --> 00:57:33,211 No. No, he does not, but he will. 1289 00:57:33,921 --> 00:57:35,797 He's gonna know right now. 1290 00:57:36,673 --> 00:57:38,425 - Okay. (EXHALES) - Kayla? 1291 00:57:40,093 --> 00:57:41,762 - She okay? - Who knows? 1292 00:57:41,845 --> 00:57:44,765 Well, get this. Annie just left school to go see Jason. 1293 00:57:44,848 --> 00:57:46,433 No shit! Good for her. 1294 00:57:46,516 --> 00:57:48,352 - You know what this means, though? - What? 1295 00:57:48,435 --> 00:57:49,436 Annie wins. 1296 00:57:49,519 --> 00:57:50,562 (LAUGHING) 1297 00:57:50,646 --> 00:57:53,523 She does. After she does the deed, she's fulfilled her goal. 1298 00:57:53,607 --> 00:57:55,108 Kayla is still obsessed with Tim. 1299 00:57:55,192 --> 00:57:56,777 I'm absolutely nowhere. 1300 00:57:56,860 --> 00:57:59,238 And Grant seems to be the only guy in school who doesn't lust after you. 1301 00:58:00,280 --> 00:58:01,531 It's not over yet. 1302 00:58:01,615 --> 00:58:02,783 Oh, come on, Steph. 1303 00:58:02,866 --> 00:58:04,243 The MORP is in a week. 1304 00:58:04,326 --> 00:58:06,036 Champions are made in the last quarter. 1305 00:58:06,662 --> 00:58:08,247 Game just got interesting. 1306 00:58:13,335 --> 00:58:15,837 Hey. Hey. Glad you came. 1307 00:58:15,921 --> 00:58:18,215 - Um, I need to talk to you. - Okay. 1308 00:58:18,799 --> 00:58:20,050 Why are we in the library? 1309 00:58:20,133 --> 00:58:21,552 Nobody ever comes back here. 1310 00:58:21,635 --> 00:58:23,095 Dangerous... 1311 00:58:23,178 --> 00:58:24,638 Sexy, huh? 1312 00:58:25,389 --> 00:58:26,390 (SIGHS) 1313 00:58:27,224 --> 00:58:28,267 Oh, you hate it. 1314 00:58:28,350 --> 00:58:29,476 God, I'm sorry. 1315 00:58:29,560 --> 00:58:31,436 It was such a stupid idea. 1316 00:58:31,520 --> 00:58:34,356 Look, I respect you and I just want you to know 1317 00:58:34,439 --> 00:58:37,109 that this is always a safe space. 1318 00:58:39,111 --> 00:58:40,696 All right, pants off, make it quick. 1319 00:58:40,779 --> 00:58:42,281 I'm sure that will not be a problem. Oh! 1320 00:58:43,323 --> 00:58:44,741 - (CAMERA CLICKS) - (CHUCKLES) 1321 00:58:44,825 --> 00:58:46,618 Principal Fisher? Oh. 1322 00:58:46,952 --> 00:58:48,245 Sorry. I can come back. 1323 00:58:48,328 --> 00:58:49,496 No, that's okay. 1324 00:58:49,580 --> 00:58:51,915 Well, it's kind of a weird situation. 1325 00:58:51,999 --> 00:58:54,334 - See, I made this pact... - No, no, no. 1326 00:58:54,418 --> 00:58:55,460 Sorry. 1327 00:58:55,586 --> 00:58:56,587 Um... 1328 00:58:56,920 --> 00:58:58,130 I made this pact with my friends 1329 00:58:58,213 --> 00:59:00,716 that I would try and date somebody who I'm really proud of 1330 00:59:00,799 --> 00:59:02,009 and who really gets me, 1331 00:59:02,092 --> 00:59:04,803 but I feel like in doing so, I've kind of lost sight of myself. 1332 00:59:04,887 --> 00:59:07,014 I mean, I thought that Grant was the guy that I wanted 1333 00:59:07,097 --> 00:59:10,601 because he's smart and he's cute and he's socially conscious. 1334 00:59:10,684 --> 00:59:12,436 - Great job on that, by the way. - Thanks. 1335 00:59:12,519 --> 00:59:14,271 But I don't even know who I've become. 1336 00:59:14,354 --> 00:59:18,442 Like, I'm pretending to be weak and helpless to manipulate a man? 1337 00:59:18,525 --> 00:59:20,110 What would Ruth Bader Ginsburg say? 1338 00:59:20,193 --> 00:59:21,320 I mean, I don't need a man to complete me. 1339 00:59:21,403 --> 00:59:24,239 I'm a strong, smart, independent woman. Right? 1340 00:59:24,323 --> 00:59:27,159 Michelle, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship. 1341 00:59:27,242 --> 00:59:29,578 Everybody deserves a little romance. 1342 00:59:29,661 --> 00:59:32,039 But I do think you're barking up the wrong tree. 1343 00:59:32,122 --> 00:59:34,124 I mean, if Grant were the right guy for you, 1344 00:59:34,207 --> 00:59:36,793 you wouldn't have to be anything but yourself. 1345 00:59:36,877 --> 00:59:39,880 It does, however, make me think of another young man, 1346 00:59:39,963 --> 00:59:43,508 a young man who happened to score 1,590 on his SAT, 1347 00:59:43,592 --> 00:59:45,969 a young man who volunteers every single weekend. 1348 00:59:46,053 --> 00:59:47,054 (CHUCKLES) 1349 00:59:47,137 --> 00:59:48,764 You're describing my ideal mate. 1350 00:59:48,847 --> 00:59:52,309 He is obsessed with presidential history. 1351 00:59:52,392 --> 00:59:53,810 Are you shitting me, Principal Fisher? 1352 00:59:53,894 --> 00:59:56,104 I shit you not, Michelle. Watch your language. 1353 00:59:56,188 --> 00:59:59,858 His name is Oliver Hawthorn, and you work with him every single day, 1354 00:59:59,942 --> 01:00:02,402 and he clearly has an obvious crush on you. 1355 01:00:02,819 --> 01:00:04,321 Now get out, I'm very busy. 1356 01:00:04,905 --> 01:00:06,365 - (CAMERA CLICKING) - Right. Okay. 1357 01:00:07,950 --> 01:00:09,159 - Bye-bye. - Thank you. 1358 01:00:09,826 --> 01:00:12,204 Oh, well, I mean, what can you expect? 1359 01:00:12,287 --> 01:00:13,747 She's been through a lot. 1360 01:00:19,836 --> 01:00:23,090 So, um, I hear you're into presidents. 1361 01:00:23,715 --> 01:00:25,300 Uh, just Kennedy. 1362 01:00:26,593 --> 01:00:29,763 "My fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you. 1363 01:00:29,846 --> 01:00:31,098 - (MICHELLE MOANS) - "Ask what you can do for your country." 1364 01:00:31,890 --> 01:00:33,141 (CHUCKLING) It's not a very good impression, 1365 01:00:33,225 --> 01:00:34,226 but I mean, I'm trying to perfect it. 1366 01:00:34,309 --> 01:00:36,770 - Um, I... I actually have to go. - Okay. 1367 01:00:36,853 --> 01:00:38,438 - Right now. - Oh. 1368 01:00:38,522 --> 01:00:39,523 Bye. 1369 01:00:42,484 --> 01:00:43,777 Oh, man. 1370 01:00:43,860 --> 01:00:46,572 Since we broke up, the sex just keeps getting better, right? 1371 01:00:49,575 --> 01:00:52,327 Hey, what's up? You okay? 1372 01:00:54,246 --> 01:00:57,791 What are the odds, uh, this isn't just meaningless sex to you? 1373 01:01:01,086 --> 01:01:05,340 What are the odds, um, that you're actually in love with me, 1374 01:01:06,425 --> 01:01:08,552 but you're just afraid of your feelings 1375 01:01:08,635 --> 01:01:13,223 and, um, deep in your heart you wanna stay with me? 1376 01:01:19,062 --> 01:01:20,147 That's what I thought. 1377 01:01:20,981 --> 01:01:24,067 Um, I can't do this casual thing. 1378 01:01:25,694 --> 01:01:27,321 Not with you. (SNIFFS) 1379 01:01:28,030 --> 01:01:29,489 I just want more. 1380 01:01:32,284 --> 01:01:33,577 I deserve more. 1381 01:01:37,122 --> 01:01:38,206 Bye, Tim. 1382 01:01:44,922 --> 01:01:46,590 ANNIE: Hey, Jason, it's me. 1383 01:01:46,673 --> 01:01:49,718 I can't really talk right now, and I know you're in class anyway, 1384 01:01:49,801 --> 01:01:51,845 but I have a surprise for you. 1385 01:01:51,929 --> 01:01:54,056 So, call me back when you get this, okay? 1386 01:01:54,139 --> 01:01:55,807 - I love you. Bye. - (UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING) 1387 01:01:55,891 --> 01:01:57,601 Don't let this slip away 1388 01:01:57,684 --> 01:01:59,853 Maybe this road leads to Rome 1389 01:01:59,937 --> 01:02:02,648 But, baby, you make me feel at home 1390 01:02:02,731 --> 01:02:06,485 Together we're unstoppable It's undeniable 1391 01:02:06,568 --> 01:02:09,196 Let's go, go, go, go 1392 01:02:09,279 --> 01:02:12,449 Let's go all the way tonight 1393 01:02:12,532 --> 01:02:15,786 Take me all the way tonight 1394 01:02:15,869 --> 01:02:18,747 Baby, we can make this last 1395 01:02:18,830 --> 01:02:21,792 Nothing's gonna hold us back 1396 01:02:21,875 --> 01:02:25,128 Let's take it all the way tonight 1397 01:02:25,212 --> 01:02:28,465 Leave it up to fate tonight 1398 01:02:28,548 --> 01:02:29,591 - Thanks, buddy. - (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1399 01:02:29,675 --> 01:02:32,094 So let's go all the way tonight 1400 01:02:32,177 --> 01:02:34,221 - Up top, baby. Hit me! One more. - (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1401 01:02:34,304 --> 01:02:37,975 Let's take it all the way tonight 1402 01:02:38,058 --> 01:02:41,520 Leave it up to fate tonight 1403 01:02:41,603 --> 01:02:44,898 So let's go all the way tonight 1404 01:02:44,982 --> 01:02:49,027 {\an8}Let's go all the way tonight, tonight 1405 01:02:51,613 --> 01:02:54,283 JASON: I'm gonna pop. I'm gonna pop. I'm gonna pop. 1406 01:02:54,366 --> 01:02:55,909 - Oh, I'm popping! - (GASPS) 1407 01:02:56,535 --> 01:02:57,536 Oh. 1408 01:02:57,619 --> 01:02:59,413 Um, Annie. 1409 01:02:59,538 --> 01:03:01,415 - ANNIE: Are you kidding me? - (CHUCKLES) 1410 01:03:01,582 --> 01:03:03,292 Uh... 1411 01:03:03,375 --> 01:03:04,543 It's not what it looks like. 1412 01:03:04,626 --> 01:03:05,877 - It's not? - No. 1413 01:03:05,961 --> 01:03:07,379 Um, she's my math tutor. 1414 01:03:07,462 --> 01:03:08,714 ANNIE: Was she tutoring you right now? 1415 01:03:08,797 --> 01:03:10,048 - I'm sorry. - Oh, my God! 1416 01:03:10,132 --> 01:03:11,550 - Just calm down. - Calm down? 1417 01:03:11,633 --> 01:03:14,052 You think telling me to calm down is gonna make me calm down? 1418 01:03:14,136 --> 01:03:15,637 Well, you're acting a little hysterical. 1419 01:03:15,721 --> 01:03:18,724 Am I? Am I a little bit hysterical? 1420 01:03:18,807 --> 01:03:19,850 (GRUNTS) 1421 01:03:19,933 --> 01:03:21,810 That really hurt bad! 1422 01:03:24,479 --> 01:03:25,731 Wait here. 1423 01:03:27,774 --> 01:03:29,109 {\an8}(MUFFLED) 1424 01:03:32,195 --> 01:03:34,156 Annie. Annie. 1425 01:03:34,239 --> 01:03:36,199 Annie, honey. Honey. Honey. 1426 01:03:36,283 --> 01:03:39,328 Sorry. Annie, um, talk to you one second? 1427 01:03:39,411 --> 01:03:40,579 - What? - Please. 1428 01:03:40,662 --> 01:03:42,205 What do you wanna say? 1429 01:03:42,623 --> 01:03:45,792 I don't know. Long distance relationships are rough. 1430 01:03:45,876 --> 01:03:47,085 Oh, is that right? 1431 01:03:47,169 --> 01:03:49,087 Yeah, I mean, there's so many hot chicks here. 1432 01:03:49,713 --> 01:03:51,673 You're hot too, obviously. Of course. 1433 01:03:51,757 --> 01:03:53,383 It's just, you know, you're not college-hot. 1434 01:03:53,467 --> 01:03:54,718 Your brain is hot. 1435 01:03:54,801 --> 01:03:57,971 Jason, I'm breaking up with you. 1436 01:03:58,055 --> 01:04:01,099 I only came here because I felt guilty. 1437 01:04:01,183 --> 01:04:03,185 I like someone else. 1438 01:04:03,268 --> 01:04:06,438 He kissed me and I liked it, and it freaked me out. 1439 01:04:06,521 --> 01:04:07,522 Okay. 1440 01:04:07,606 --> 01:04:10,525 So, I thought if I came here, if I saw you, 1441 01:04:10,609 --> 01:04:14,071 if we made love, then my feelings for you would come rushing back. 1442 01:04:15,322 --> 01:04:16,657 When I saw you with her, 1443 01:04:17,783 --> 01:04:20,953 after the anger, you know what I felt? 1444 01:04:22,621 --> 01:04:23,830 I felt relief. 1445 01:04:25,207 --> 01:04:26,208 Some dude kissed you? 1446 01:04:26,458 --> 01:04:27,459 (CHUCKLES) 1447 01:04:27,960 --> 01:04:28,961 What? 1448 01:04:30,963 --> 01:04:33,173 You're just really not who I wanted you to be. 1449 01:04:35,467 --> 01:04:37,594 Wow, that was... That was rough. 1450 01:04:40,138 --> 01:04:42,266 GIRL 1: Nice towel, douchebag. 1451 01:04:42,349 --> 01:04:43,976 (GIRL 2 SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY) 1452 01:04:52,025 --> 01:04:53,610 (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS) 1453 01:04:56,405 --> 01:04:57,406 - (ANNIE CLEARS THROAT) - Oh. 1454 01:04:57,864 --> 01:04:58,865 Oh. 1455 01:04:59,074 --> 01:05:00,576 Annie, have you been crying? 1456 01:05:01,201 --> 01:05:02,703 Oh, honey. 1457 01:05:02,786 --> 01:05:04,538 Oh, I think I know what this is. 1458 01:05:04,955 --> 01:05:05,956 Annie, don't worry. 1459 01:05:06,039 --> 01:05:08,500 Ellen's not trying to become your new mommy. 1460 01:05:08,834 --> 01:05:12,170 - Oh, my God. - Honey, that's not why she's upset. 1461 01:05:12,254 --> 01:05:15,841 Clearly, she's mortified 'cause she just walked in on us about to have sex. 1462 01:05:16,383 --> 01:05:18,343 Yeah. Yeah. What she said. 1463 01:05:18,635 --> 01:05:22,598 Oh. (CHUCKLES) No, this is... This is just a casual thing. 1464 01:05:22,681 --> 01:05:24,516 - I think the kids call it F-buddies. - (CHORTLES) 1465 01:05:24,600 --> 01:05:26,184 On that note, okay. 1466 01:05:26,268 --> 01:05:28,061 Oh, God. Oh, God. 1467 01:05:29,771 --> 01:05:31,148 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 1468 01:05:31,815 --> 01:05:34,610 KEVIN: Annie? Can I come in. 1469 01:05:34,985 --> 01:05:36,028 Okay. 1470 01:05:49,875 --> 01:05:54,171 Annie, did, um... Did what you see downstairs upset you? 1471 01:05:54,254 --> 01:05:56,632 Oh, no, it makes perfect sense. 1472 01:05:57,174 --> 01:05:58,926 Everyone's having sex but me. 1473 01:05:59,593 --> 01:06:00,636 Sex? 1474 01:06:00,719 --> 01:06:03,722 (CHUCKLES) I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it. 1475 01:06:05,140 --> 01:06:06,808 I broke up with Jason. 1476 01:06:08,185 --> 01:06:09,186 Oh. 1477 01:06:09,519 --> 01:06:11,021 Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. 1478 01:06:12,314 --> 01:06:13,315 I'm not. 1479 01:06:13,398 --> 01:06:14,399 (CHUCKLES) 1480 01:06:15,943 --> 01:06:16,985 Oh, babe. 1481 01:06:17,069 --> 01:06:20,864 You are the most incredible person I know. 1482 01:06:20,948 --> 01:06:23,909 You're so smart, you're so funny. 1483 01:06:24,785 --> 01:06:26,245 You are so beautiful. 1484 01:06:26,870 --> 01:06:28,580 I don't need a pep talk, Dad. 1485 01:06:28,664 --> 01:06:31,416 That Jason never deserved you. 1486 01:06:33,543 --> 01:06:38,006 - And I never liked the guy, so there! - (BOTH LAUGH) 1487 01:06:38,090 --> 01:06:39,216 Wait. Really? 1488 01:06:39,299 --> 01:06:41,802 - No. He was a total brobag. - (CHUCKLES) 1489 01:06:44,012 --> 01:06:45,514 BOTH: Mmm. 1490 01:06:45,931 --> 01:06:47,182 I love you, Dad. 1491 01:06:48,308 --> 01:06:49,601 I love you too, babe. 1492 01:06:54,856 --> 01:06:56,066 (UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING) 1493 01:06:58,735 --> 01:06:59,903 (BELL RINGING) 1494 01:07:00,904 --> 01:07:03,448 - Grant. Hey-hey. - Hey. 1495 01:07:03,532 --> 01:07:06,535 So, I'm having a little gathering at my place tonight, 1496 01:07:06,618 --> 01:07:07,661 if you wanna come. 1497 01:07:08,370 --> 01:07:10,539 Cool. Have you seen Annie, by chance? 1498 01:07:11,290 --> 01:07:12,291 Oh. 1499 01:07:12,374 --> 01:07:14,960 Oh, well, she went to go visit her boyfriend at college yesterday. 1500 01:07:15,043 --> 01:07:17,129 Yeah, they're probably still banging it out. 1501 01:07:17,212 --> 01:07:18,213 But back to my thing. 1502 01:07:18,297 --> 01:07:21,842 So, my favorite saxophone player, Vladimir Ullich, he's amazing... 1503 01:07:21,925 --> 01:07:24,052 - Are... Are you being serious? - What? 1504 01:07:24,136 --> 01:07:26,972 Vladimir Ullich is, like, my favorite musician of all time. 1505 01:07:27,055 --> 01:07:28,140 - Is it really? - Yeah. 1506 01:07:28,223 --> 01:07:30,267 What... What are the odds of that happening? 1507 01:07:30,350 --> 01:07:32,269 - Not high. - Well, you should stop by then. 1508 01:07:32,352 --> 01:07:34,980 It's, like, a listening party. Like, we'll play it all night. 1509 01:07:35,063 --> 01:07:37,024 I mean, I'm quirky, so... 1510 01:07:37,107 --> 01:07:38,483 You know what? Cool. 1511 01:07:38,567 --> 01:07:39,651 - Oh, great. - Great. 1512 01:07:39,735 --> 01:07:40,903 - Great. I'll see you there. - All right 1513 01:07:40,986 --> 01:07:41,987 (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1514 01:07:42,070 --> 01:07:43,280 Baby, she's drop dead gorgeous 1515 01:07:43,363 --> 01:07:44,531 Drop dead 1516 01:07:44,615 --> 01:07:47,117 - (SONG STOPS) - Oh. My bad. I'll see you. 1517 01:07:47,200 --> 01:07:48,827 - Okay. - Okay. Bye. 1518 01:07:48,911 --> 01:07:49,912 (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1519 01:07:49,995 --> 01:07:51,622 Baby, she's drop dead gorgeous 1520 01:07:51,705 --> 01:07:52,831 Drop dead 1521 01:07:52,915 --> 01:07:54,041 KAYLA: Freeze! 1522 01:07:54,291 --> 01:07:55,417 I got eyes on Annie. 1523 01:07:55,709 --> 01:07:56,710 Quad, stat. 1524 01:07:57,044 --> 01:07:58,045 (EXHALES) 1525 01:07:58,128 --> 01:08:00,505 - Well, well, well, look who it is. - What's this? 1526 01:08:00,756 --> 01:08:02,382 - Well, well, well, look... - I already did that. 1527 01:08:02,466 --> 01:08:03,800 - Damn it. - STEPHANIE: Annie! 1528 01:08:03,884 --> 01:08:06,470 You disappear, lose your virginity, no call, no text? 1529 01:08:06,553 --> 01:08:07,930 Like, you ghosted us. 1530 01:08:08,847 --> 01:08:10,849 Sorry. I've just been dead. 1531 01:08:11,391 --> 01:08:12,726 Because of all the sex? 1532 01:08:12,851 --> 01:08:14,603 Girl, this is a big-ass moment for you. 1533 01:08:14,728 --> 01:08:16,771 - (BELL RINGING) - Shit! 1534 01:08:16,855 --> 01:08:19,233 Okay, we'll talk tonight? But you all are coming to my party tonight, right? 1535 01:08:19,315 --> 01:08:20,650 - Yeah, duh. - Okay. Great. 1536 01:08:20,734 --> 01:08:23,153 And since Annie has had sweet Freeform TV sex, 1537 01:08:23,237 --> 01:08:25,697 I'll swoop in and seduce the lovely Grant. (CLICKS TONGUE) 1538 01:08:25,781 --> 01:08:28,449 KAYLA: Yes! What's up! Whoo! MICHELLE: Yeah! 1539 01:08:28,533 --> 01:08:31,203 KAYLA: (SING-SONG) Mama had sex! STEPHANIE: She ain't a virgin! 1540 01:08:31,286 --> 01:08:32,287 {\an8}(UPBEAT SONG PLAYING) 1541 01:08:32,371 --> 01:08:34,206 {\an8}We make the beat go boom, boom, boom 1542 01:08:34,288 --> 01:08:35,958 Boom, boom, boom 1543 01:08:36,041 --> 01:08:39,168 I like the sound it makes Boom, boom, boom 1544 01:08:39,253 --> 01:08:41,337 You do this kind of thing every weekend? 1545 01:08:41,421 --> 01:08:44,382 Stifler's parties are the bedrock on which East Great Falls was built. 1546 01:08:44,507 --> 01:08:47,886 And tonight, we're using the party gods to seduce the new guy. 1547 01:08:47,970 --> 01:08:50,305 (LAUGHS) Wow. You need to sacrifice a virgin or something? 1548 01:08:50,389 --> 01:08:51,765 No, don't worry, you're safe. 1549 01:08:51,848 --> 01:08:53,308 Okay, so we thought of everything, right? 1550 01:08:53,391 --> 01:08:55,894 - Grant's favorite music, snacks, drinks? - Yeah. 1551 01:08:55,978 --> 01:08:57,479 I mean, I'm even wearing his favorite color. 1552 01:08:57,688 --> 01:08:59,605 - You look beautiful. - Thanks. 1553 01:08:59,982 --> 01:09:01,525 - He's a lucky guy. - I know. 1554 01:09:02,234 --> 01:09:03,235 Oh. 1555 01:09:04,778 --> 01:09:06,029 Here you go. 1556 01:09:06,863 --> 01:09:08,198 What... What's this? 1557 01:09:08,739 --> 01:09:10,701 Wait, I pay you and you buy me something? 1558 01:09:11,493 --> 01:09:12,703 That's fucking stupid. 1559 01:09:12,786 --> 01:09:15,747 - The usual response is, "Thank you." - Mmm. 1560 01:09:20,002 --> 01:09:21,253 It's a lipstick case. 1561 01:09:23,505 --> 01:09:25,507 On, uh... On which to make notches. 1562 01:09:27,759 --> 01:09:29,636 It's a present, a thoughtful one. 1563 01:09:31,596 --> 01:09:33,765 - I also wrapped it. - Yeah, and you... 1564 01:09:33,849 --> 01:09:35,183 - And you wrapped it. Uh... - KAYLA: Whoo! 1565 01:09:36,685 --> 01:09:38,854 Well, my girls are here so I should... I should go. 1566 01:09:40,396 --> 01:09:41,857 - Sure. - Yeah. (CHUCKLES) 1567 01:09:42,774 --> 01:09:43,775 Hey, hey. Uh... 1568 01:09:45,569 --> 01:09:46,612 Good luck with Grant. 1569 01:09:47,362 --> 01:09:49,656 Emmett, thank you. For everything. 1570 01:09:50,489 --> 01:09:53,076 And my present. I love it. 1571 01:09:57,247 --> 01:09:59,708 What up, bitches! 1572 01:09:59,791 --> 01:10:01,293 Welcome to Bang-Grant Palooza! 1573 01:10:01,543 --> 01:10:03,337 - Ow. - Hi, boo-boo, how are you? 1574 01:10:03,420 --> 01:10:05,047 Hey, you know, being a good winner 1575 01:10:05,130 --> 01:10:07,049 is just as important as being a good loser, Steph. 1576 01:10:07,132 --> 01:10:08,759 - Oh, you're throwing shade? - Way to read a room. 1577 01:10:09,343 --> 01:10:11,178 Guys, when did this turn into a competition? 1578 01:10:11,261 --> 01:10:13,680 This was never supposed to be about us competing for a boy. 1579 01:10:13,764 --> 01:10:15,474 Yeah, this was supposed to make me feel better. 1580 01:10:16,099 --> 01:10:17,643 I don't feel better. 1581 01:10:17,768 --> 01:10:20,979 Now you're gonna smash Grant when he really likes Annie. 1582 01:10:22,105 --> 01:10:23,398 - BOTH: What? - Uh, yeah. 1583 01:10:23,815 --> 01:10:24,900 When I was in his room, 1584 01:10:24,983 --> 01:10:27,694 he told her he liked her and then he kissed her. 1585 01:10:27,778 --> 01:10:29,780 Okay, well you made it sound like it was the other way around. 1586 01:10:29,863 --> 01:10:31,406 I can be a little extra sometimes. 1587 01:10:31,490 --> 01:10:32,658 Yeah, no shit! 1588 01:10:32,866 --> 01:10:34,201 GRANT: Hey, Emmett! EMMETT: What's up, man? 1589 01:10:34,284 --> 01:10:36,453 MICHELLE: I mean, he's cute, but he's not worth this. 1590 01:10:36,787 --> 01:10:38,372 - I'm out, guys. - EMMETT: Ladies, hey. 1591 01:10:38,789 --> 01:10:40,707 - Look who I found. - GRANT: Hey. 1592 01:10:42,876 --> 01:10:44,419 Oh. Uh... 1593 01:10:45,045 --> 01:10:46,171 What do you think of Annie? 1594 01:10:46,505 --> 01:10:47,506 She's great. 1595 01:10:48,298 --> 01:10:51,593 I mean, she's cool, smart, kind, funny. 1596 01:10:51,677 --> 01:10:53,887 Awkward, but in a really entertaining way. 1597 01:10:53,971 --> 01:10:57,349 - Is she here? - Oh. No, no, no, but she will be. Right? 1598 01:10:57,432 --> 01:11:00,018 Uh, can you guys just, like, talk for a sec? 1599 01:11:00,727 --> 01:11:01,728 - I know. I know. - (LINE RINGING) 1600 01:11:06,191 --> 01:11:07,192 (BOTH SCREAM) 1601 01:11:07,276 --> 01:11:08,777 Oh, my God! 1602 01:11:09,152 --> 01:11:12,739 - You are tightly wound. Wow. - Oh, my God. 1603 01:11:12,823 --> 01:11:14,074 (LAUGHING) I'm sorry. 1604 01:11:14,157 --> 01:11:16,577 - I didn't mean to scare you. - That's okay. That's okay. 1605 01:11:16,660 --> 01:11:19,663 Your father and I just worked up a real appetite tonight, 1606 01:11:19,746 --> 01:11:22,165 so I'm having a little ice cream. You want some? 1607 01:11:22,249 --> 01:11:23,375 - (CELL PHONE VIBRATING) - Um... 1608 01:11:23,458 --> 01:11:24,668 Sorry. 1609 01:11:25,961 --> 01:11:26,962 Um... 1610 01:11:27,588 --> 01:11:29,089 Yeah, you know what, I'll have some ice cream. 1611 01:11:29,172 --> 01:11:30,173 Great. 1612 01:11:30,257 --> 01:11:32,134 - (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - She's not answering. 1613 01:11:32,217 --> 01:11:34,386 Well, go get her and drag her ass here. Okay? 1614 01:11:34,678 --> 01:11:36,430 - Okay. - Come with me. 1615 01:11:36,513 --> 01:11:38,056 Ready for some sexy saxophone? 1616 01:11:38,140 --> 01:11:39,725 - She's back. - STEPHANIE: Let's go. 1617 01:11:40,642 --> 01:11:42,561 Hey! I need to talk to you. 1618 01:11:42,853 --> 01:11:44,938 Tim, I cannot do this right now. 1619 01:11:45,022 --> 01:11:46,023 We have to go get... 1620 01:11:46,106 --> 01:11:47,941 Kayla, please. 1621 01:11:48,317 --> 01:11:49,610 It's cool. I got this. 1622 01:11:50,777 --> 01:11:52,029 Good luck. 1623 01:11:53,280 --> 01:11:54,907 I thought there was a party tonight. 1624 01:11:55,824 --> 01:11:57,326 - Not in the mood. - Hmm. 1625 01:11:58,869 --> 01:12:00,245 Can I talk to you about something? 1626 01:12:00,329 --> 01:12:02,205 Should I be afraid of what you're about to say? 1627 01:12:02,539 --> 01:12:05,292 - I can never tell. I just let it fly. - (CHUCKLES) 1628 01:12:05,375 --> 01:12:08,045 Here's the thing. I've noticed that you've been upset 1629 01:12:08,128 --> 01:12:10,339 and my son has also been upset. 1630 01:12:10,422 --> 01:12:13,926 And I wonder if you're both upset about the same thing. 1631 01:12:17,971 --> 01:12:19,181 (ENGINE STARTS) 1632 01:12:23,268 --> 01:12:25,687 - SIRI: What can I help you with? - Call Annie. 1633 01:12:25,854 --> 01:12:27,773 Here's what I found on the web for Fannie. 1634 01:12:27,856 --> 01:12:28,982 No, call Annie! 1635 01:12:29,066 --> 01:12:30,442 Calling Manny's Pizza. 1636 01:12:30,525 --> 01:12:32,694 - (SIGHS) No! Annie! - Wait, wait, wait, wait! 1637 01:12:33,028 --> 01:12:34,279 - (SCREAMS) - (TIRES SCREECH) 1638 01:12:35,405 --> 01:12:38,408 - (GASPS) - (GRUNTS) Gonna feel that tomorrow. 1639 01:12:38,575 --> 01:12:40,035 - MAN: (OVER PHONE) Hello. Manny's Pizza. - Oh, my God! 1640 01:12:40,410 --> 01:12:42,329 - Hello! - Oliver? 1641 01:12:42,412 --> 01:12:44,498 - Oh, my God, please be okay. - OLIVER: Hi. 1642 01:12:44,581 --> 01:12:45,874 What are you doing in front of my car? 1643 01:12:45,958 --> 01:12:47,167 I'm trying to stop you from leaving. 1644 01:12:47,626 --> 01:12:48,752 I mean, you're the only reason I came. 1645 01:12:49,211 --> 01:12:51,088 Oh, my God, that's actually really sweet. 1646 01:12:51,546 --> 01:12:53,924 - Um, I have to go get my friend now... - Do you mind if I come with? 1647 01:12:54,007 --> 01:12:55,592 I mean, you did just run me over with your car. 1648 01:12:56,426 --> 01:12:57,427 Uh... 1649 01:12:57,678 --> 01:12:59,179 Okay, cool. Yeah, come on, come on. 1650 01:12:59,263 --> 01:13:00,305 - (GROANS) - Oh, shit. 1651 01:13:00,389 --> 01:13:01,974 I don't like the way you left the other day. 1652 01:13:02,057 --> 01:13:03,308 - (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - KAYLA: Tough shit! 1653 01:13:03,392 --> 01:13:06,979 Okay, I've got feelings and emotions. 1654 01:13:07,271 --> 01:13:10,566 I'm a little jealous and a bit of a handful. 1655 01:13:11,191 --> 01:13:17,948 But if you can't take me at my making-a-scene-at-a-party-ness, 1656 01:13:18,031 --> 01:13:22,744 then you don't deserve me at my fucking-you-in-the-library-ness. 1657 01:13:22,828 --> 01:13:23,870 (CHATTER DIES DOWN) 1658 01:13:23,954 --> 01:13:24,955 You're right. 1659 01:13:25,497 --> 01:13:26,790 Everything you said. 1660 01:13:27,332 --> 01:13:30,669 Truth is, I don't want you violating my trust. 1661 01:13:31,545 --> 01:13:34,006 But I do want you. 1662 01:13:35,090 --> 01:13:37,467 You're my lobster. 1663 01:13:37,551 --> 01:13:39,136 - Holy shit. (CHUCKLING) - That's right. 1664 01:13:39,636 --> 01:13:41,013 - "You're my lobster!" - Yeah. 1665 01:13:41,722 --> 01:13:44,808 - I didn't think you were gonna say that. - GIRL: Oh, yeah, Kayla! 1666 01:13:44,892 --> 01:13:46,143 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 1667 01:13:47,436 --> 01:13:50,689 - High school is the worst. - (BOTH CHUCKLE) 1668 01:13:51,189 --> 01:13:53,984 It is. And you think that it's never gonna end, but it does. 1669 01:13:54,067 --> 01:13:57,279 And when it does, time starts to move a lot faster. 1670 01:13:57,362 --> 01:14:00,741 So when you know what you want, you should go after it. 1671 01:14:01,074 --> 01:14:03,160 'Cause you might not get another chance. 1672 01:14:04,244 --> 01:14:05,245 (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 1673 01:14:05,537 --> 01:14:06,914 - (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) - (DOORBELL RINGS) 1674 01:14:08,832 --> 01:14:10,834 Annie, get dressed. Grant is looking... 1675 01:14:10,918 --> 01:14:13,420 - Oh, Principal Fisher's here! - In a bathrobe. 1676 01:14:13,503 --> 01:14:15,505 - Hi. - Michelle, Oliver, is everything okay? 1677 01:14:16,256 --> 01:14:18,008 Oh. Yeah, I just didn't wanna leave him in the car. 1678 01:14:18,091 --> 01:14:19,259 I have got a knee issue, 1679 01:14:19,343 --> 01:14:21,511 - but it's not as important as love. - (CHUCKLES) 1680 01:14:22,179 --> 01:14:24,848 Um, Annie, Grant's at the party and he's looking for you. 1681 01:14:24,932 --> 01:14:27,476 The whole pact is off. We all know that he likes you. 1682 01:14:27,559 --> 01:14:29,895 - He does? - Yeah, Annie, he does. 1683 01:14:29,978 --> 01:14:30,979 (CHUCKLES) 1684 01:14:31,063 --> 01:14:32,356 This is an incredible moment and everything, 1685 01:14:32,439 --> 01:14:34,608 but Oliver is actually much heavier than he looks. 1686 01:14:34,691 --> 01:14:36,026 I'm wiry but muscular. 1687 01:14:36,401 --> 01:14:37,569 - It's a family trait. - Yeah. 1688 01:14:37,819 --> 01:14:38,820 Uh... (CHUCKLES) 1689 01:14:38,904 --> 01:14:43,825 Sorry, yeah, go wait in the car. I guess I'll change and be right out. 1690 01:14:44,493 --> 01:14:46,870 I am so excited for you for tonight. 1691 01:14:46,954 --> 01:14:50,415 Now don't you be afraid to go after Grant just because of me and your father. 1692 01:14:50,499 --> 01:14:52,834 We're not gonna make you guys step-siblings. 1693 01:14:52,918 --> 01:14:54,795 We both know this thing has a shelf life. 1694 01:14:54,878 --> 01:14:56,838 Besides, he took his last Viagra this morning. 1695 01:15:00,509 --> 01:15:03,262 I'm gonna go pretend I didn't hear that, and I'll be right out, so... 1696 01:15:03,929 --> 01:15:05,138 Okay. 1697 01:15:05,222 --> 01:15:07,808 - (SAXOPHONE MUSIC PLAYING) - (SQUEALING) This is... This is so good, 1698 01:15:07,891 --> 01:15:09,059 and this is... 1699 01:15:09,142 --> 01:15:10,936 Wow, but, um you know, 1700 01:15:11,019 --> 01:15:13,855 uh, we have to actually deal with some party stuff. Right? Yeah. 1701 01:15:13,939 --> 01:15:17,901 And so if you just wanna stay there and just really soak it all in. 1702 01:15:18,819 --> 01:15:20,445 Let's just go, okay? Let's just... 1703 01:15:21,655 --> 01:15:22,823 EMMETT: Okay. GRANT: Stay? 1704 01:15:26,577 --> 01:15:29,997 Okay. We keep Grant occupied with his old man music until Annie gets here 1705 01:15:30,080 --> 01:15:32,082 and then boom, big romantic moment. Got it? Great. 1706 01:15:32,165 --> 01:15:34,585 Hey, wait, wait. I thought you liked Grant, so... 1707 01:15:34,668 --> 01:15:36,837 I just kind of liked the idea of him. 1708 01:15:36,920 --> 01:15:39,548 Look, Annie's my best friend, and if she wants him, she gets him. 1709 01:15:40,215 --> 01:15:41,258 So maybe dating a nice guy 1710 01:15:41,341 --> 01:15:42,676 just isn't in the cards for Stephanie Stifler. 1711 01:15:42,759 --> 01:15:45,596 Look, a queen bee walking around like she owns the place. 1712 01:15:45,679 --> 01:15:48,724 Ooh, burn. Except I do own the place, you fucking idiot. 1713 01:15:49,349 --> 01:15:51,184 Is this your stud for the night, Stifler? 1714 01:15:51,268 --> 01:15:52,769 I didn't think your standards could fall any lower. 1715 01:15:53,520 --> 01:15:55,772 Well, I haven't slept with you yet, so I got that going for me. 1716 01:15:55,856 --> 01:15:57,774 Yeah, whatever you wanna tell people. 1717 01:15:59,443 --> 01:16:02,529 McCormick, are you telling people we hooked up? 1718 01:16:02,988 --> 01:16:04,489 I never said I don't kiss and tell. 1719 01:16:05,282 --> 01:16:06,575 - Fuck you. - No, no. 1720 01:16:06,700 --> 01:16:08,660 Hey. You're being rude. 1721 01:16:08,744 --> 01:16:10,162 - Emmett, don't... - No, no, no, it's okay. 1722 01:16:10,829 --> 01:16:13,957 You have five seconds to apologize or I unleash hell. 1723 01:16:18,253 --> 01:16:19,254 Five! 1724 01:16:19,338 --> 01:16:20,339 - (McCORMICK GRUNTS) - Emmett! 1725 01:16:21,048 --> 01:16:24,468 - Wow. He, uh, hit me with his face. - GRANT: What the hell? 1726 01:16:24,676 --> 01:16:26,345 Grant, can you just watch him for a sec? Thanks. 1727 01:16:26,428 --> 01:16:27,679 Hey, asshole! 1728 01:16:28,472 --> 01:16:29,640 I don't like bullies, 1729 01:16:29,723 --> 01:16:32,226 and I don't like misogynistic douchebags drinking my liquor 1730 01:16:32,309 --> 01:16:33,977 and disrespecting me in my own house. 1731 01:16:34,061 --> 01:16:35,896 - I don't like you, McCormick! - (GRUNTS) 1732 01:16:36,313 --> 01:16:37,564 Yes, bitch! 1733 01:16:37,648 --> 01:16:38,815 (ALL CHEERING) 1734 01:16:38,899 --> 01:16:39,900 (GROANS) 1735 01:16:40,859 --> 01:16:42,402 But you know who I do like? 1736 01:16:44,196 --> 01:16:45,197 Ow. 1737 01:16:47,741 --> 01:16:48,742 STEPHANIE: Hey. 1738 01:16:50,035 --> 01:16:51,286 (ALL CHEERING) 1739 01:16:57,167 --> 01:16:58,752 EMMETT: You kissed me. 1740 01:16:59,253 --> 01:17:00,629 You stood up for me. 1741 01:17:00,963 --> 01:17:01,964 I mean, you were my wingman 1742 01:17:02,047 --> 01:17:03,882 even though you liked me more than a wingman. 1743 01:17:04,716 --> 01:17:06,218 And you bought me a present. 1744 01:17:08,053 --> 01:17:09,513 I think I just won. 1745 01:17:20,857 --> 01:17:21,858 JASON: You Grant? 1746 01:17:23,735 --> 01:17:24,736 Do I know you? 1747 01:17:28,782 --> 01:17:29,783 (INAUDIBLE) 1748 01:17:36,373 --> 01:17:37,374 Oh, no. 1749 01:17:40,711 --> 01:17:42,170 What is he doing here? 1750 01:17:43,505 --> 01:17:45,007 JASON: Yeah, man, so there you have it. 1751 01:17:45,090 --> 01:17:46,592 Now you kind of know the people you're dealing with. 1752 01:17:47,009 --> 01:17:48,385 What the hell are you doing? 1753 01:17:48,969 --> 01:17:50,262 Oh. Uh... 1754 01:17:50,345 --> 01:17:53,015 I just thought your new boyfriend should know the truth. 1755 01:17:53,599 --> 01:17:56,143 Annie, did you and your friends make a bet about me? 1756 01:17:56,226 --> 01:17:57,227 ANNIE: It wasn't a bet. 1757 01:17:57,936 --> 01:17:59,771 - It was a pact. - JASON: Oh, bullshit. 1758 01:18:00,063 --> 01:18:01,106 Okay, all of these little bitches 1759 01:18:01,189 --> 01:18:02,941 competed to see who could have sex with you first. 1760 01:18:03,025 --> 01:18:04,693 Annie texted me about it every night. 1761 01:18:04,776 --> 01:18:06,653 - It's not what it sounds like. - Really? 1762 01:18:06,737 --> 01:18:10,782 We made a pact to go after what each of us were missing, 1763 01:18:10,866 --> 01:18:14,870 and without knowing it, we all kind of decided it was you. 1764 01:18:17,331 --> 01:18:20,500 And what was your thing, your pact? 1765 01:18:21,543 --> 01:18:23,420 For my first time to be with a man I love. 1766 01:18:24,504 --> 01:18:27,674 - So that's why you went to see him. - JASON: Yeah. 1767 01:18:27,883 --> 01:18:30,219 She's only talking to you because she caught me with another girl. 1768 01:18:30,510 --> 01:18:31,762 You're just the fallback guy. 1769 01:18:31,845 --> 01:18:35,182 But, lucky for you, I'm not into high school drama, 1770 01:18:35,265 --> 01:18:37,517 so you want her, you can have her. 1771 01:18:38,435 --> 01:18:39,937 - You know what? - Whoa. 1772 01:18:40,854 --> 01:18:42,397 Annie's not yours to give. 1773 01:18:42,481 --> 01:18:44,942 And you say one more disparaging word about her, 1774 01:18:45,025 --> 01:18:47,236 this high school kid is gonna kick your ass. 1775 01:18:47,569 --> 01:18:49,404 Just speaking my truth, bro. 1776 01:18:49,488 --> 01:18:50,989 If she liked you as much as you thought she did, 1777 01:18:51,073 --> 01:18:54,159 would she be driving three hours to have sex with me? 1778 01:18:54,243 --> 01:18:56,286 No. You're just a piece of meat. 1779 01:18:57,579 --> 01:18:58,622 Whoa! Hello! 1780 01:18:58,705 --> 01:19:00,540 - My uncle's an attorney. He almost hit me. - Shut up. 1781 01:19:00,624 --> 01:19:01,625 STEPHANIE: No. Back. Break it up. 1782 01:19:01,708 --> 01:19:02,876 I hope you guys are really happy. 1783 01:19:02,960 --> 01:19:03,961 Look, Grant, we get that you're pissed... 1784 01:19:04,044 --> 01:19:06,463 No, don't... You paid Emmett to get dirt on me. 1785 01:19:06,546 --> 01:19:07,547 Whoa. Uh... (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 1786 01:19:07,839 --> 01:19:08,840 Don't. 1787 01:19:09,549 --> 01:19:12,427 You know, every person I liked in this town lied to me. 1788 01:19:13,345 --> 01:19:14,888 And the person I liked the most 1789 01:19:15,180 --> 01:19:17,140 - chose this guy. - Grant. 1790 01:19:17,224 --> 01:19:20,060 - Enjoy the party. - Please don't leave. Grant. 1791 01:19:27,359 --> 01:19:29,861 KAYLA: Why didn't you just tell us what happened with Jason? 1792 01:19:29,945 --> 01:19:31,196 Yeah. 1793 01:19:31,280 --> 01:19:32,864 I didn't know how to. 1794 01:19:33,448 --> 01:19:35,450 You guys were all so interested in Grant. 1795 01:19:35,993 --> 01:19:37,411 I didn't wanna mess it up for you. 1796 01:19:37,494 --> 01:19:39,454 Oh, my God. You should've just told us. 1797 01:19:39,538 --> 01:19:40,998 Yeah, that's all we would've needed, Annie. 1798 01:19:41,081 --> 01:19:42,082 Yeah. 1799 01:19:42,165 --> 01:19:44,835 I mean, you know, this is my fault for pushing the pact. 1800 01:19:44,918 --> 01:19:46,003 ALL: No. 1801 01:19:46,086 --> 01:19:49,298 No, Steph. The pact worked. 1802 01:19:49,381 --> 01:19:52,259 I mean, you found Emmett, who's a nice guy. 1803 01:19:52,342 --> 01:19:53,969 - He is. - ALL: Mmm-hmm. 1804 01:19:54,052 --> 01:19:55,095 (CHUCKLES) 1805 01:19:55,178 --> 01:19:57,639 And Kayla got Tim to compromise. 1806 01:19:57,723 --> 01:19:59,975 Oh, my God. You're right. 1807 01:20:01,184 --> 01:20:05,689 And, Michelle, are you as attracted to Oliver's mind as you are to his body? 1808 01:20:05,772 --> 01:20:10,819 Oh, he turns me on in ways that I can't even describe. (CHUCKLES) 1809 01:20:10,903 --> 01:20:12,529 See? It worked. 1810 01:20:13,322 --> 01:20:14,781 Yeah, for everyone but you. 1811 01:20:14,865 --> 01:20:16,241 No, it worked for me, too. 1812 01:20:17,618 --> 01:20:20,412 I went to Michigan State with this image in my head, 1813 01:20:20,495 --> 01:20:25,542 and it all fell apart because he was the wrong guy. 1814 01:20:26,084 --> 01:20:29,129 And that's big, so I'm glad we did it. 1815 01:20:30,005 --> 01:20:33,300 I mean, even if, you know, I don't end up with Grant, 1816 01:20:33,383 --> 01:20:35,093 I'm better than I was. 1817 01:20:35,177 --> 01:20:36,178 Aw, come here. 1818 01:20:36,261 --> 01:20:37,512 - STEPHANIE: Aw. - (MICHELLE CHUCKLES) 1819 01:20:37,846 --> 01:20:40,057 Little Virgin Annie. 1820 01:20:40,140 --> 01:20:42,643 - With the unshuckable oyster. - Shut up. 1821 01:20:42,726 --> 01:20:45,896 - I want in. Unshuckable oyster. - (LAUGHTER) 1822 01:20:45,979 --> 01:20:47,898 Get in here, Stifler. 1823 01:20:47,981 --> 01:20:49,691 - MICHELLE: Yeah, come on. - (UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING) 1824 01:20:49,775 --> 01:20:50,943 Say what What? 1825 01:20:51,026 --> 01:20:52,027 Straight from the jump 1826 01:20:52,110 --> 01:20:53,612 Right on the tempo Mix it all up 1827 01:20:53,695 --> 01:20:54,696 Say hey Hey 1828 01:20:54,780 --> 01:20:55,822 {\an8}No time to wait 1829 01:20:55,906 --> 01:20:57,532 {\an8}Taking your move to a different place 1830 01:20:57,616 --> 01:20:58,617 {\an8}Say hey Hey 1831 01:20:58,700 --> 01:20:59,701 {\an8}Do what it takes 1832 01:20:59,785 --> 01:21:01,286 {\an8}Make like Tay 'n' shake 1833 01:21:01,370 --> 01:21:04,998 Get up and go, go, go, go 1834 01:21:05,082 --> 01:21:08,919 Get up and go, go, go, go 1835 01:21:09,002 --> 01:21:12,631 Get up and go, go, go, go 1836 01:21:12,881 --> 01:21:14,216 - (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1837 01:21:16,051 --> 01:21:18,303 - Light the fuse. - Copy that. 1838 01:21:19,346 --> 01:21:21,848 Mama Bear, Papa Bear, Operation Oyster is a go. 1839 01:21:32,609 --> 01:21:34,194 (MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE) 1840 01:21:44,997 --> 01:21:46,415 (DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE) 1841 01:21:55,549 --> 01:21:56,758 This guy. 1842 01:21:58,260 --> 01:21:59,386 Hey. 1843 01:22:00,053 --> 01:22:01,972 Annie's dad's outside with a limo. 1844 01:22:02,806 --> 01:22:05,893 - What is that? - It's a onesie, you moron. 1845 01:22:05,976 --> 01:22:08,937 - For the pajama party. - Why do you have it? 1846 01:22:09,021 --> 01:22:10,731 (SIGHS) Honey, you know that I love you 1847 01:22:10,814 --> 01:22:12,566 and I'm always gonna tell you the truth, right? 1848 01:22:13,317 --> 01:22:15,193 - I know. - So the truth is, 1849 01:22:15,694 --> 01:22:19,656 it's time for you to stop moping because, baby, you're a real downer. 1850 01:22:20,574 --> 01:22:23,201 Listen, happiness doesn't just find us. 1851 01:22:23,285 --> 01:22:25,537 You gotta go and you gotta grab it. 1852 01:22:25,829 --> 01:22:26,872 Take this. 1853 01:22:28,081 --> 01:22:29,958 - Take this. - Okay. 1854 01:22:30,959 --> 01:22:32,127 - I love you. - What do I... 1855 01:22:32,210 --> 01:22:33,670 You'll figure it out. Or not. 1856 01:22:33,754 --> 01:22:35,672 I don't know. I've done everything I can do. 1857 01:22:35,756 --> 01:22:37,174 (MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) 1858 01:22:42,888 --> 01:22:43,889 Okay, this is your moment, Grant, 1859 01:22:43,972 --> 01:22:44,973 - and you're blowing it. - Mmm-hmm. 1860 01:22:45,057 --> 01:22:47,267 But luckily, Annie has some pretty awesome friends... 1861 01:22:47,351 --> 01:22:48,352 - Thank you. - Oh, you're welcome. 1862 01:22:48,435 --> 01:22:50,354 ...who are trying to save you from this terrible mistake. 1863 01:22:50,687 --> 01:22:51,980 Plus, we think you're pretty great, too. 1864 01:22:52,064 --> 01:22:53,398 And we sent you a really cool onesie, so... 1865 01:22:53,482 --> 01:22:54,816 Okay, just shut up! 1866 01:22:54,900 --> 01:22:55,943 Game time, Grant. 1867 01:22:56,026 --> 01:22:57,027 If you really like Annie, 1868 01:22:57,110 --> 01:22:58,612 put on that onesie and get in that fucking limo. 1869 01:22:58,695 --> 01:22:59,696 - See you soon! - If you don't do it... 1870 01:22:59,780 --> 01:23:00,781 Gladiator! 1871 01:23:00,864 --> 01:23:01,865 (VIDEO ENDS) 1872 01:23:09,039 --> 01:23:10,457 (MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) 1873 01:23:11,291 --> 01:23:14,461 MAN: Hey, asshole! Turn off the music! 1874 01:23:15,379 --> 01:23:16,380 (MUSIC STOPS) 1875 01:23:16,463 --> 01:23:17,464 (SIGHS) 1876 01:23:17,547 --> 01:23:18,882 (UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING) 1877 01:23:18,966 --> 01:23:23,011 This day feels like nothing but the right vibe 1878 01:23:23,095 --> 01:23:26,932 This could be the good life Doesn't get better than... 1879 01:23:27,015 --> 01:23:29,643 - Hi, darling! - Hi. (CHUCKLES) 1880 01:23:30,644 --> 01:23:31,687 Are you okay? 1881 01:23:32,479 --> 01:23:33,522 Not really. 1882 01:23:34,481 --> 01:23:36,149 I just realized you were right. 1883 01:23:36,316 --> 01:23:38,068 I've made sex too big a thing. 1884 01:23:39,027 --> 01:23:40,612 I tried to turn it into some... 1885 01:23:41,238 --> 01:23:43,740 It's for fairy tales. Stupid. 1886 01:23:43,824 --> 01:23:47,244 No. No, honestly I think you were right about wanting it to be special. 1887 01:23:48,120 --> 01:23:50,622 Look, I never had someone who gets me 1888 01:23:50,956 --> 01:23:52,583 and cares for me, you know, and... 1889 01:23:53,709 --> 01:23:55,419 But Emmett makes me feel like that for the first time. 1890 01:23:56,545 --> 01:23:57,671 Stop. Stop it. 1891 01:23:57,754 --> 01:24:01,592 I mean, it's nice, and I think tonight, we might, you know... 1892 01:24:02,801 --> 01:24:05,304 Steph, that's great. 1893 01:24:05,387 --> 01:24:06,847 Great? Doubtful. 1894 01:24:06,930 --> 01:24:08,223 (BOTH LAUGH) 1895 01:24:09,266 --> 01:24:11,685 Special, yeah. Yeah. 1896 01:24:11,768 --> 01:24:14,229 - Yeah. I'm happy for you. - Thanks, babe. 1897 01:24:15,772 --> 01:24:16,773 STEPHANIE: Oh, shit. 1898 01:24:17,399 --> 01:24:19,484 - (SLOW POP SONG PLAYING) - Are you ready? 1899 01:24:20,068 --> 01:24:22,279 - ANNIE: Uh, ready for what? - Oh, you just wait, my darling. 1900 01:24:23,113 --> 01:24:24,448 You're scaring me. What is... 1901 01:24:24,531 --> 01:24:26,241 - Where are you... - STEPHANIE: Just stay right there. 1902 01:24:27,492 --> 01:24:28,702 (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1903 01:24:28,785 --> 01:24:30,370 We're young and in love 1904 01:24:31,204 --> 01:24:32,789 And we're running like the wind 1905 01:24:32,873 --> 01:24:34,291 We got it all 1906 01:24:36,793 --> 01:24:38,170 We're never alone 1907 01:24:38,253 --> 01:24:39,254 - (CHUCKLES) What? - (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1908 01:24:39,338 --> 01:24:42,174 If we got each other we can save the world 1909 01:24:44,968 --> 01:24:48,805 Explosions in the sky 1910 01:24:48,972 --> 01:24:52,184 I see colors fly 1911 01:24:53,560 --> 01:24:55,229 Old enough, old enough 1912 01:24:55,562 --> 01:24:58,273 Old enough to know that we are young in love 1913 01:24:58,357 --> 01:25:01,235 Young in love Young and in love 1914 01:25:01,568 --> 01:25:03,153 You and me, we can see 1915 01:25:03,570 --> 01:25:04,780 Time will stand still 1916 01:25:04,863 --> 01:25:06,448 If we stay young in love 1917 01:25:06,531 --> 01:25:09,243 Young in love Young and in love 1918 01:25:09,868 --> 01:25:11,662 Yeah, we are young and in love 1919 01:25:11,745 --> 01:25:13,455 Yeah, we are young and in love 1920 01:25:13,664 --> 01:25:15,457 Yeah, we are young and in love 1921 01:25:15,916 --> 01:25:16,917 ANNIE: You made it. 1922 01:25:18,168 --> 01:25:19,544 You have some really great friends. 1923 01:25:21,004 --> 01:25:22,256 Seems like we both do. 1924 01:25:23,298 --> 01:25:24,675 (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1925 01:25:24,967 --> 01:25:28,428 Old enough, old enough Old enough to know that 1926 01:25:28,512 --> 01:25:29,680 We are young in love 1927 01:25:29,763 --> 01:25:32,474 Young in love Young and in love 1928 01:25:32,891 --> 01:25:36,019 You and me, we can see Time will stand still 1929 01:25:36,103 --> 01:25:38,772 If we stay young in love Young in love 1930 01:25:38,855 --> 01:25:40,399 I guess that's my cue. 1931 01:25:40,899 --> 01:25:42,192 (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1932 01:25:42,276 --> 01:25:44,403 Yeah, we are young and in love 1933 01:25:44,486 --> 01:25:46,405 Yeah, we are young and in love 1934 01:25:46,488 --> 01:25:48,365 Yeah, we are young and in love 1935 01:25:48,448 --> 01:25:50,492 Yeah, we are young and in love 1936 01:25:50,576 --> 01:25:52,244 Yeah, we are young and in love 1937 01:25:52,327 --> 01:25:54,329 Yeah, we are young and in love 1938 01:25:54,413 --> 01:25:56,164 Yeah, we are young and in love 1939 01:25:56,248 --> 01:25:58,292 Yeah, we are young and in love 1940 01:25:58,375 --> 01:25:59,376 - (SONG ENDS) - LEAD SINGER: Ladies and gentlemen, 1941 01:25:59,459 --> 01:26:00,627 Annie and Grant. 1942 01:26:00,877 --> 01:26:01,878 (ALL CHEERING) 1943 01:26:01,962 --> 01:26:03,255 (ROCK SONG PLAYING) 1944 01:26:06,592 --> 01:26:10,137 Well, she was an American girl 1945 01:26:11,138 --> 01:26:13,473 Raised on promises 1946 01:26:14,808 --> 01:26:17,644 She couldn't help thinking that there 1947 01:26:17,728 --> 01:26:22,024 Was a little more to life somewhere else 1948 01:26:22,774 --> 01:26:25,986 After all, it was a great, big world 1949 01:26:26,737 --> 01:26:29,406 With lots of places to run to 1950 01:26:30,490 --> 01:26:33,785 Yeah, and if she had to die trying 1951 01:26:33,911 --> 01:26:38,999 She had one little promise she was gonna keep 1952 01:26:39,625 --> 01:26:42,878 Oh, yeah, all right 1953 01:26:43,378 --> 01:26:44,880 Take it easy, baby 1954 01:26:45,339 --> 01:26:46,590 Make it last all night 1955 01:26:47,758 --> 01:26:54,723 She was an American girl 1956 01:26:55,891 --> 01:26:58,936 - Oh, yeah, all right - (ALL SINGING ALONG) 1957 01:26:59,645 --> 01:27:01,146 Take it easy, baby 1958 01:27:01,730 --> 01:27:03,190 Make it last all night 1959 01:27:04,107 --> 01:27:10,030 She was an American girl 1960 01:27:12,950 --> 01:27:14,409 - (SONG ENDS) - (ALL CHEERING) 1961 01:27:15,285 --> 01:27:16,995 (CHUCKLING) What did you do? 1962 01:27:17,079 --> 01:27:18,830 - Mmm-hmm. - Oh, God. 1963 01:27:20,415 --> 01:27:21,416 (MICHELLE LAUGHING) 1964 01:27:22,000 --> 01:27:23,168 - Okay. - Okay, okay. 1965 01:27:23,252 --> 01:27:24,419 - Hey. - Hey. 1966 01:27:24,503 --> 01:27:27,381 So, I... I guess they have one more surprise for us. 1967 01:27:28,674 --> 01:27:29,675 Okay. 1968 01:27:30,050 --> 01:27:31,718 - KAYLA: Bye. - Bye. 1969 01:27:32,010 --> 01:27:33,720 - (ANNIE CHUCKLES) - What's happening right now? 1970 01:27:34,805 --> 01:27:36,265 (SLOW POP SONG PLAYING) 1971 01:27:37,432 --> 01:27:40,644 I've fallen too deep 1972 01:27:40,727 --> 01:27:41,979 Trying to swim 1973 01:27:42,062 --> 01:27:45,065 The current too steep and it's pulling me in 1974 01:27:45,482 --> 01:27:47,442 I can breathe 1975 01:27:47,526 --> 01:27:52,030 Both hands around my heart My heart 1976 01:27:52,114 --> 01:27:54,950 I can still feel the heat on your skin 1977 01:27:55,033 --> 01:27:58,370 My lips are begging to pull you in 1978 01:27:58,453 --> 01:28:00,038 I can breathe 1979 01:28:00,581 --> 01:28:04,585 Your hands around my heart My heart 1980 01:28:04,668 --> 01:28:05,669 I'mma hold the door... 1981 01:28:05,752 --> 01:28:06,837 GRANT: What? 1982 01:28:07,212 --> 01:28:08,338 (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 1983 01:28:08,422 --> 01:28:13,802 For you there is no cure... 1984 01:28:15,679 --> 01:28:16,847 What are we, like... 1985 01:28:17,180 --> 01:28:18,181 Oh. 1986 01:28:18,557 --> 01:28:22,644 I made a pact, so I gotta stick to it. 1987 01:28:23,645 --> 01:28:25,230 You want your first time to be with me? 1988 01:28:25,564 --> 01:28:28,984 Yeah. And the next few, I think. 1989 01:28:38,869 --> 01:28:42,748 Hey. This feels special to me. 1990 01:28:44,291 --> 01:28:45,542 Me, too, Annie. 1991 01:28:49,129 --> 01:28:52,382 Oliver, I wanna share something with you, 1992 01:28:52,925 --> 01:28:54,551 something that I've never shared with anyone else. 1993 01:28:55,969 --> 01:28:56,970 Oh. 1994 01:28:57,262 --> 01:28:58,472 You want me to use that on you? 1995 01:29:00,140 --> 01:29:01,350 On me? 1996 01:29:03,101 --> 01:29:05,604 And I want you right here, right now. 1997 01:29:06,271 --> 01:29:07,397 On Principal Fisher's desk? 1998 01:29:07,522 --> 01:29:09,650 - Yes, on her desk! Get up there! - Okay. Okay. 1999 01:29:09,816 --> 01:29:11,193 And I know you know what I want. 2000 01:29:11,276 --> 01:29:15,322 You mean, "A man may die, nations may rise and fall, 2001 01:29:15,405 --> 01:29:17,282 - "but an idea lives on!" - Yes. 2002 01:29:17,366 --> 01:29:19,117 - Yes! - (POP SONG PLAYING) 2003 01:29:19,409 --> 01:29:21,870 And we dared to go 2004 01:29:23,163 --> 01:29:25,040 A lover's bane 2005 01:29:25,374 --> 01:29:27,292 Forever will remain... 2006 01:29:27,376 --> 01:29:28,502 (MOANING) 2007 01:29:28,585 --> 01:29:30,087 Amazing. Shit. 2008 01:29:30,420 --> 01:29:33,048 (MOANING) Wow. Shit! 2009 01:29:33,465 --> 01:29:34,591 (MOANS) 2010 01:29:35,425 --> 01:29:37,553 Thanks. Learned that at band camp. 2011 01:29:37,636 --> 01:29:39,012 Yeah, I don't need to know that. 2012 01:29:39,096 --> 01:29:41,557 Kiss me now. Okay? 2013 01:29:42,307 --> 01:29:43,475 STEPHANIE: Now. 2014 01:29:46,687 --> 01:29:47,896 Wait, wait, wait, hold on. 2015 01:29:47,980 --> 01:29:50,357 - I need to tell you something. - What? 2016 01:29:50,440 --> 01:29:51,942 I've... I've never done it. 2017 01:29:52,442 --> 01:29:53,443 Me neither. 2018 01:29:54,570 --> 01:29:56,738 I mean, I've never had it with someone special, you know? 2019 01:29:58,323 --> 01:29:59,324 (PANTING) 2020 01:30:04,162 --> 01:30:05,330 {\an8}Oh. 2021 01:30:05,789 --> 01:30:06,957 {\an8}MICHELLE: Yes! 2022 01:30:07,040 --> 01:30:08,083 Yeah? 2023 01:30:08,166 --> 01:30:09,334 (MOANING LOUDLY) 2024 01:30:10,294 --> 01:30:12,045 KAYLA: You like this? TIM: Oh. Yeah. 2025 01:30:12,129 --> 01:30:13,171 KAYLA: This is hot. TIM: Yeah. 2026 01:30:13,255 --> 01:30:14,339 - Dangerous. - Yeah. 2027 01:30:15,215 --> 01:30:18,552 A little unsanitary, but, yeah. 2028 01:30:18,635 --> 01:30:20,262 I like it here. I like you. 2029 01:30:20,345 --> 01:30:21,388 I love you. 2030 01:30:21,471 --> 01:30:25,309 You are my queen! 2031 01:30:25,392 --> 01:30:28,312 - (MOANING LOUDLY) - I am your queen! 2032 01:30:28,395 --> 01:30:29,396 - KAYLA: Whoo! - (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 2033 01:30:29,479 --> 01:30:30,856 Ahoo 2034 01:30:30,939 --> 01:30:32,983 Stars are falling 2035 01:30:33,108 --> 01:30:36,570 Are we falling, too? 2036 01:30:36,653 --> 01:30:41,116 Ahoo, dawn is coming 2037 01:30:41,325 --> 01:30:44,745 What's this coming to? 2038 01:30:44,828 --> 01:30:48,749 On a night like this 2039 01:30:48,999 --> 01:30:52,502 On a night like this... 2040 01:30:52,628 --> 01:30:53,670 (MOANING SOFTLY) 2041 01:30:54,254 --> 01:30:56,632 - There's something else. - What? 2042 01:30:59,426 --> 01:31:00,677 Oh. Oh. 2043 01:31:00,761 --> 01:31:02,095 No, don't worry if... 2044 01:31:02,179 --> 01:31:05,557 Look, whatever's going down, down there we'll make it work. Okay? 2045 01:31:05,849 --> 01:31:07,184 - Yeah? - I promise. 2046 01:31:07,935 --> 01:31:09,353 - Okay. - Okay. 2047 01:31:09,728 --> 01:31:10,729 (UNZIPS PANTS) 2048 01:31:15,275 --> 01:31:16,276 Wow. 2049 01:31:16,360 --> 01:31:18,403 (CHUCKLES) Is your dad a giant? 2050 01:31:18,487 --> 01:31:19,780 Like, will it fit? 2051 01:31:19,947 --> 01:31:21,240 Here's to hoping. (CHUCKLES) 2052 01:31:21,448 --> 01:31:22,449 (MOANING) 2053 01:31:22,532 --> 01:31:24,243 Oh, you're my president. 2054 01:31:24,910 --> 01:31:26,161 - You'll always be my president. - (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 2055 01:31:26,328 --> 01:31:28,455 Ahoo 2056 01:31:28,538 --> 01:31:30,582 Stars are falling 2057 01:31:30,666 --> 01:31:33,877 Are we falling too? 2058 01:31:34,336 --> 01:31:37,798 On a night like this 2059 01:31:38,340 --> 01:31:42,135 On a night like this 2060 01:31:42,636 --> 01:31:46,598 Ahoo 2061 01:31:52,062 --> 01:31:53,146 (SONG ENDS) 2062 01:31:54,523 --> 01:31:56,191 {\an8}(UPBEAT POP SONG PLAYING) 2063 01:32:05,367 --> 01:32:07,035 {\an8}(CROWD WHOOPING AND CHEERING) 2064 01:35:06,840 --> 01:35:08,300 (MAN YELLS) 2065 01:35:08,383 --> 01:35:09,593 - (WHIP CRACKING) - (MUFFLED GRUNT) 2066 01:35:09,676 --> 01:35:11,303 Say you want this on your permanent record. 2067 01:35:11,386 --> 01:35:13,013 (MUFFLED) I want this on my permanent record. 2068 01:35:13,096 --> 01:35:14,264 - Yeah, you do. - (GROANS) 2069 01:35:14,348 --> 01:35:15,432 What's going on? Oh. 2070 01:35:15,724 --> 01:35:18,518 Hey, Janitor Steve. We'll just be a minute. 2071 01:35:18,602 --> 01:35:19,811 (MUFFLED) Hi, Janitor Steve. 2072 01:35:21,897 --> 01:35:23,315 I'm gonna need a bigger mop. 2073 01:35:25,400 --> 01:35:26,693 - (KEVIN GROANS) - ELLEN: Don't touch me! 2074 01:35:27,196 --> 01:35:31,871 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 153598

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