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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:52,900 Thanks for everything. 2 00:00:58,700 --> 00:01:00,700 Guess what I did last night. 3 00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:02,700 Dude! 4 00:01:24,100 --> 00:01:25,900 Now let's rock Westside Academy! 5 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,600 Taste the beast! 6 00:01:36,300 --> 00:01:37,900 You can do anything you want in life 7 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,100 as long as you stay away from drugs. 8 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:41,900 Why would a person use illegal drugs? 9 00:01:42,100 --> 00:01:43,800 Many reasons. 10 00:01:43,900 --> 00:01:46,400 Maybe they're trying to fit in with a new group of friends. 11 00:01:46,500 --> 00:01:47,800 Maybe they're curious. 12 00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:49,300 Maybe they're just bored. 13 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:50,300 But whatever the reason, 14 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:52,600 what should you say when someone offers you drugs? 15 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:55,400 Say, "No, thanks. I'll have a Minotaur. " 16 00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:57,200 Stay off drugs! Minotaur! 17 00:01:57,300 --> 00:01:59,000 Thank you, Minotaur man. 18 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,000 Hey! Nice cow outfit, homo. 19 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,600 Where can I pick one of those up, the gay zoo? 20 00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:07,200 Oh, no. It's not a... It's not a cow. 21 00:02:07,300 --> 00:02:08,300 It's a minotaur. 22 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:09,500 It's a creature of myth, 23 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:11,500 and he got this one out of your mom's closet. 24 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:14,300 She let me keep it after I fucked her. 25 00:02:16,100 --> 00:02:18,900 Drugs are bad. Energy drinks, good. 26 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,500 So whenever you'd like to taste one, help yourselves. 27 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:24,300 And for every can sold, Minotaur will make a donation 28 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:26,300 to the Keep Kids Off Drugs foundation. 29 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:33,400 God, this suit smells like Tater Tots. 30 00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:35,800 Yeah, I know what you need. 31 00:02:35,900 --> 00:02:38,300 Kiss? Are you kidding? No. God. 32 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:40,300 I love Kiss. 33 00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:41,500 No one loves Kiss. 34 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:43,100 Paul Stanley is sick of Kiss. 35 00:02:43,300 --> 00:02:45,400 Whoa! Don't dis the Starchild. 36 00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:46,800 Hey, don't get me wrong, all right? 37 00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:50,600 I like to "rock 'n' roll all night and part of every day!" 38 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:53,800 Party every day. "Rock 'n' roll all night and party every day!" 39 00:02:53,900 --> 00:02:56,600 I like to rock 'n' roll part of every day. Party every day. 40 00:02:56,700 --> 00:02:58,000 I usually have errands. Party. 41 00:02:58,100 --> 00:03:00,600 I can rock 'n' roll from, like, 1:00 to 3:00. You need to party. 42 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,000 Hey, guys. How's it going? 43 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,200 When someone offers you some illegal drugs, what do you say? 44 00:03:05,300 --> 00:03:07,900 You say, "No, thanks. I'll just have a Minotaur. " 45 00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:09,600 I've had so many of these things. 46 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,300 I'm not kidding. 47 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,000 I may wet my pants. Where's the bathroom? 48 00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:18,300 Holy shit. 49 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:20,500 Dude, this is like Shrek's piss. 50 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:25,900 So remember, stay off drugs, drink Minotaur and above all... 51 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,300 Taste the beast! 52 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:35,400 You know what's great about this job? 53 00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:36,800 You mean, besides nothing? 54 00:03:36,900 --> 00:03:38,100 We're making the world a better place. 55 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:39,300 How? 56 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:42,400 You know, giving the kids an energy boost to stay off drugs. 57 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:45,600 We're selling them nuclear horse piss for 6 bucks a can. 58 00:03:45,700 --> 00:03:47,500 What an accomplishment. Feels good, doesn't it? 59 00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:49,900 Easy to do hung-over. 60 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,200 I could do this job forever. 61 00:03:51,300 --> 00:03:53,800 If I had to do this job forever, I'd put a bullet in my head. 62 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,200 Game face, bro. 63 00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:56,400 Surprise! 64 00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:58,800 Yeah! 65 00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:01,200 Got you, man! Got you! 66 00:04:01,300 --> 00:04:02,300 Happy anniversary! Did you know? 67 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:03,400 No. 68 00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:05,000 All right. That was good! 69 00:04:05,100 --> 00:04:06,200 Oh, my God. You're here. 70 00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:07,400 Wheeler called me. Hi. 71 00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:08,500 Thank you for warning me. 72 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:10,800 Hey, I tried to tell them you don't like surprises, 73 00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:13,300 but they really wanted to celebrate your milestone. 74 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:14,900 What's up, mino-tards? 75 00:04:16,500 --> 00:04:17,600 What's up, Wheeler? 76 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:18,900 My dick! 77 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,200 "My dick!" 78 00:04:20,300 --> 00:04:22,800 Everybody, we're here to celebrate my best friend, Danny! 79 00:04:22,900 --> 00:04:24,600 We just work together. Not "best friend. " 80 00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:25,800 Be nice. 81 00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:27,600 Danny's been working here 10 years! 82 00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:29,200 That's almost a decade of living the dream. 83 00:04:29,300 --> 00:04:30,400 You're the man, Danny! 84 00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:31,900 I want to grow old with you, Danny. 85 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,300 Hopefully, we'll be tasting the beast 86 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:34,600 for the rest of our lives together! 87 00:04:34,700 --> 00:04:36,200 Yeah! All right! 88 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:41,200 It's early morning The sun come out 89 00:04:41,300 --> 00:04:43,500 Last night was shaking And pretty loud 90 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:44,800 This is a nightmare. 91 00:04:44,900 --> 00:04:46,600 Come on. I took the afternoon off. 92 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:48,800 There's cake! Let's try and enjoy ourselves. 93 00:04:48,900 --> 00:04:51,400 Mitch from Graphics, take over! 94 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:52,900 Do it! Let's go next! 95 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,600 Come on. It'll be fun. No. 96 00:04:54,700 --> 00:04:56,800 Why not? Come on. We'll do a duet! 97 00:04:56,900 --> 00:04:58,400 Getting up in front of a group of people 98 00:04:58,500 --> 00:05:00,300 and singing is not my idea of fun. All right? 99 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,100 It's humiliating. 100 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:03,600 With another sin 101 00:05:03,700 --> 00:05:05,100 I'm gonna sing. 102 00:05:06,900 --> 00:05:08,600 Here I am 103 00:05:08,700 --> 00:05:09,700 Ow! 104 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:12,700 Rock you like a hurricane 105 00:05:12,900 --> 00:05:14,700 Come on, come on, come on, come on! Yeah, yeah! 106 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:16,000 Here I am 107 00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:17,500 Come on. Sing it! 108 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:20,200 Rock you like a hurricane 109 00:05:20,300 --> 00:05:21,500 Danny? 110 00:05:22,300 --> 00:05:23,400 What is your problem? 111 00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:24,500 Look, I'm sorry, all right? 112 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:27,500 I'm not Wheeler, happy in some brainless job, 113 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:28,700 no goals, no ambition. 114 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,400 Hey, you don't know how Wheeler feels. 115 00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:33,700 For all you know, he hates his job as much as you do. 116 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,700 I love this job! 117 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:37,900 Hey, Wheeler! She's tasting your beast! 118 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:42,900 Good morning. Can I take your order? 119 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,300 Can I get a tall chai? 120 00:05:44,500 --> 00:05:45,900 And a large black coffee. 121 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:46,900 A what? 122 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,000 Large black coffee. 123 00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:49,100 Do you mean a venti? 124 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:50,200 No, I mean a large. 125 00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:52,400 He means a venti. Yeah, the biggest one you've got. 126 00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:53,600 Venti is large. 127 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:54,900 No. Venti is 20. 128 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,000 Danny. 129 00:05:56,100 --> 00:05:59,400 Yeah. "Large" is large. In fact, "tall" is large. 130 00:05:59,500 --> 00:06:01,400 And grande is Spanish for large. 131 00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:03,300 Venti is the only one that doesn't mean large. 132 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,000 It's also the only one that's Italian. 133 00:06:05,100 --> 00:06:07,600 Congratulations! You're stupid in three languages. 134 00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:10,100 Look, dick. Venti is a large coffee. 135 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:11,600 Really? Says who? Fellini? 136 00:06:11,700 --> 00:06:13,100 How much is that? Here's a 10. 137 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:14,700 Do you accept lira, or is it all euros now? 138 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:16,700 You know what, just keep the change. 139 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:18,700 Jesus, Dan. You know what they call the sizes here. 140 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:20,400 You know what, you've been picking fights with everybody. 141 00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:22,300 The girl at the party... She said ASAP. 142 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:24,100 ASAP, I'm sorry. Huge crime. 143 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:27,300 It's like "24l7" or "been there, done that. " You hate that, too. 144 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:30,600 I don't hate it enough to let it ruin my day. 145 00:06:30,700 --> 00:06:34,100 It's getting worse. You know, man? The sun is shining, 146 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:37,200 but you have lost the ability to take any joy in life. 147 00:06:37,300 --> 00:06:38,900 I can't stand it anymore! 148 00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:40,700 You're just a miserable dick now! 149 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,000 You're mean to everybody! 150 00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:45,600 And, FYI, it's called a venti because it's 20 ounces! 151 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,600 20! Venti! 152 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,400 Is that true? 153 00:06:56,700 --> 00:06:59,000 She says I take no joy in life. 154 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,500 I can see that. 155 00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:03,300 I gotta talk to her. 156 00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:04,800 Forget her, man. 157 00:07:04,900 --> 00:07:06,700 Let me give you a little motto I live my life by, 158 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:08,200 you got to hit it and quit it. 159 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:10,200 No ties, tangle free. 160 00:07:10,300 --> 00:07:11,600 Nobody tells me what to do. 161 00:07:11,700 --> 00:07:13,600 I go bang, bang, bang the drum. 162 00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:15,100 What? That's not a motto. 163 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:17,600 That's just you saying a bunch of things. 164 00:07:17,700 --> 00:07:19,700 You know, Beth's right. I'm a dick. 165 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:22,400 Hey, I'm in a rut, just going from school to school 166 00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:25,000 selling poison to our nation's youth. 167 00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:27,200 It's not poison. It's got juice in it. 168 00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:28,400 You know, I'm 35 years old. 169 00:07:28,500 --> 00:07:29,500 I got nothing to show for my life. 170 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,100 I figured I'd be something, 171 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,600 something good, a professor, engineer. 172 00:07:33,700 --> 00:07:35,200 I don't know. 173 00:07:35,300 --> 00:07:37,500 Figured I'd be married. I'd... 174 00:07:41,700 --> 00:07:43,300 You know what? We're making a detour. What? 175 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:44,500 We're making a detour. Where? 176 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:45,900 We're making a detour. Why? 177 00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:51,300 Dude, you're too jacked up on Minotaur. This is a mistake. 178 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:52,900 It's fine. Look, I'll be right back. 179 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,300 Hey, we gotta be at the Blue Valley Middle School by 1:30. 180 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:56,600 Yep! 181 00:07:56,700 --> 00:07:58,400 No, I don't want to plea-bargain. 182 00:07:58,500 --> 00:07:59,600 I didn't do it. 183 00:07:59,700 --> 00:08:02,300 Mr. Garvin, I just don't know what other options we have, you know, 184 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:05,800 because they have this clear videotape of you stealing 185 00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:07,600 a lot of TVs. Guys! Go, go, go. 186 00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:09,100 That could be any bald guy. 187 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:12,400 Look at me. Me, David Garvin, stealing TVs. 188 00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:14,000 Who would believe it? 189 00:08:14,100 --> 00:08:16,000 That is not me. 190 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:18,900 Hey, hi. I need to talk to you. 191 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,500 Danny, I'm with a client, so we'll talk later. 192 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,400 I can go. No, no. You stay. 193 00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:26,600 I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me. 194 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:28,700 Excuse me one... 195 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,200 Thank you. What? Fast. 196 00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:31,300 All right, you were right. 197 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:32,300 I'm a dick. I'm a dick! 198 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,000 You're dickish. Yes, I'm dickish. 199 00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:35,700 I'm a dickish dick, and I'm in a rut. We're in a rut. 200 00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:37,500 Let's shake things up. I have an idea. 201 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:38,900 Let's get married. I don't have a ring. 202 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,100 Are you serious? 203 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:41,700 Mazel tov! No. 204 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:43,400 Never mind. What? 205 00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:44,500 No. Why? 206 00:08:44,700 --> 00:08:47,900 Because despite this very well thought out and romantic proposal, 207 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:50,300 I'm not that interested in becoming Mrs. Dick-in-a-rut. 208 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:51,800 Heard that. Really? 209 00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:53,200 Did you hear that? Danny? 210 00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:55,300 Maybe you heard that because you're 2 feet away from us. 211 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:56,900 That's another one I hate. "Heard that!" 212 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,700 You don't get married to get out of a rut. 213 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:00,000 You get married because you love someone 214 00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:01,500 and you don't want to spend your life without them. 215 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:04,100 Who is this guy? Thank you, Mr. Garvin. He's a thief. 216 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:05,400 Falsely accused. 217 00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:06,700 Oh, well. He looks like Phil Collins. 218 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:07,900 Yeah. I know. 219 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,200 Look, life is hard, all right? 220 00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:10,800 We've lived together for seven years... You know what? 221 00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:14,000 Danny, life is hard, and you've become the hardest part of my life. 222 00:09:14,100 --> 00:09:15,200 I should really go. 223 00:09:15,300 --> 00:09:16,600 No, you sit down. 224 00:09:18,900 --> 00:09:19,900 You know, Danny? 225 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,000 We do need to shake things up. 226 00:09:21,100 --> 00:09:22,300 I know! That's what I'm saying! 227 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:23,900 I'm moving out. 228 00:09:25,100 --> 00:09:27,600 Wait a minute. Are you breaking up with me? 229 00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:30,200 Yeah. 230 00:09:30,300 --> 00:09:31,200 Really? 231 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:35,400 Wow. 232 00:09:36,700 --> 00:09:38,200 Today sucks. 233 00:09:41,500 --> 00:09:44,600 Look, Danny, whenever a door closes, another opens, okay? 234 00:09:44,700 --> 00:09:45,700 You just have to look for it. 235 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:47,000 And, seriously, you're gonna get 236 00:09:47,100 --> 00:09:49,100 the most insane sympathy-rebound pussy. 237 00:09:49,300 --> 00:09:51,700 And this is a good month for that, too. 238 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,000 I don't want that. 239 00:09:53,100 --> 00:09:54,900 Look, just keep it together, bro. 240 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,700 Okay? We got one more school. 241 00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,800 We go out, we'll have a few brewskis, we'll talk this over. 242 00:09:58,900 --> 00:10:01,100 Just put your game face on. 243 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,800 Taste the beast! Stay off drugs! 244 00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:08,200 Minotaur! 245 00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:13,700 Drugs. Why do kids take drugs? 246 00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:15,800 'Cause they're awesome? 247 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,200 No? Maybe they just understand that life is pain, 248 00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:22,500 and if you smoke something or take a pill, it'll go away for a while. 249 00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:24,700 I'll drink to that. 250 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:26,300 Dude, dude, dude, dude. Come on. 251 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:27,900 No, no, no. 252 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,700 People say, "Embrace life. Enjoy life. 253 00:10:31,900 --> 00:10:34,300 "Just do it! Live it! Rock it!" 254 00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:37,500 Fuck it, because life is horrible. 255 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:40,900 You know, I may not be so happy-go-lucky, but I'm a realist. 256 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,900 Get ready to have your dreams dashed, kids, 257 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,100 'cause nothing's gonna work out 258 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:46,300 the way you think it's going to. 259 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:50,400 Chin-chin. By the way, this stuff's poison. 260 00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:56,500 Game face, bro. Game face. 261 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:58,500 What part of "game face" do you not understand? 262 00:10:58,600 --> 00:10:59,500 What the... 263 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:00,600 Hey, hey, hey, hey! 264 00:11:00,700 --> 00:11:02,000 Dude, I thought we could park here. 265 00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:03,400 And you thought wrong, you furry faggot. 266 00:11:03,500 --> 00:11:05,100 Please, just flip the switch and put it down. 267 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:06,800 It's too late. It's already up. 268 00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:07,900 Come on, please. 269 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,200 Put yourself in my shoes, would you? 270 00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:10,800 Not my problem. 271 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,100 Dude, please, could you just be decent? 272 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:14,500 I'm having a terrible day. 273 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:18,500 Well, since you put it that way, it's still not my problem. 274 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:21,200 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 275 00:11:21,700 --> 00:11:23,100 Hey, man, can I ask you a question? 276 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,300 Get the fuck out of the way, asshole! 277 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:26,500 You want me to move? 278 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:27,800 Game face, buddy. 279 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:31,400 Danny? 280 00:11:33,300 --> 00:11:34,400 What's he doing? 281 00:11:34,500 --> 00:11:36,000 He's running. We're running. 282 00:11:36,100 --> 00:11:37,400 We're running! 283 00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:38,800 No, no. 284 00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:42,000 Hey, what are you... What are you... Get... 285 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:45,000 I'm the guy that can't enjoy life? Wrong! 286 00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:46,700 I'm gonna enjoy this! Right! 287 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:48,200 Wait, what? 288 00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:52,500 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 289 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,300 Hey, man, what you doing? 290 00:11:54,900 --> 00:11:55,900 Whoa, whoa! Danny! 291 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,000 Hey, man! 292 00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:59,200 Holy shit, man! 293 00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:04,600 Dude! 294 00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:13,000 Taste the beast! 295 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:17,100 Stay off drugs. 296 00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:19,000 You guys are fucked. 297 00:12:19,100 --> 00:12:20,600 I told you, you asshole! 298 00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:23,200 Beth? Yes, Wheeler? 299 00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:27,200 I just want to start by saying I think you're amazing, okay? 300 00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:29,800 You're, like, beauty and brains incarnate. 301 00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:32,400 So, FYI, there you go. Okay? 302 00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:37,000 Now, that's that, so as far as this goes, I didn't do anything here, 303 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:38,900 so if you wouldn't mind, you can clear my name, 304 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,000 and I can just walk right out of here. 305 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:43,600 Really? Because according to this, you were a party to... 306 00:12:43,700 --> 00:12:45,600 A party to, not the party. 307 00:12:45,700 --> 00:12:48,800 ...reckless endangerment, destruction of school property, 308 00:12:48,900 --> 00:12:51,600 obstructing a police officer, attempted grand theft auto, 309 00:12:51,700 --> 00:12:53,900 disturbing the peace, parking in a no-parking zone. 310 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,000 Did I ever tell you you're a dick? 311 00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:56,100 Yeah. Earlier. 312 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,300 And, Danny, they suspended your license. Did you know that? 313 00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:00,100 Yeah. I figured they would probably do that. 314 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,600 I mean, did you guys think this was funny? 315 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,000 You know, if you think about it, this is kind of your fault. 316 00:13:05,100 --> 00:13:06,200 My... How is this my fault? 317 00:13:06,300 --> 00:13:07,900 It's your fault because you just threw it all away, 318 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,400 and I came in here, I proposed to you... 319 00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:11,000 Your proposal was bullshit! 320 00:13:11,100 --> 00:13:12,300 But it was real. It was from the heart! 321 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,100 Shut up! Okay? Shut up! 322 00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:15,900 What's gonna happen? 323 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,900 They wanted to give you 30 days in jail. 324 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,100 What? 325 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:21,000 But I worked my magic on the judge, 326 00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:22,600 and instead, over the next 30 days, 327 00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:25,000 you have to log 150 hours of community service. 328 00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:27,400 Community service? What, we got to clean toilets? 329 00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:28,800 No, you're going to Sturdy Wings. 330 00:13:28,900 --> 00:13:30,300 It's the judge's favorite organization. 331 00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:32,700 Yes, Wheeler? 332 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:34,700 What the fuck is Sturdy Wings? 333 00:13:34,900 --> 00:13:35,000 Sturdy Wings is a simple concept. 334 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,500 Sturdy Wings is a simple concept. 335 00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:40,400 We bring adults and children together in a structured format 336 00:13:42,100 --> 00:13:43,200 to enhance the lives of these children 337 00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:44,700 through one-on-one friendships. 338 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,800 People ask me, "Gayle, how did you 339 00:13:46,900 --> 00:13:50,000 "come up with such a life-altering program?" 340 00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:53,200 And I tell them I spent a lot of time alone as a kid. 341 00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:55,900 My father was a traveling salesman. 342 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,700 My mother, out of necessity, was a whore. 343 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:01,600 During adolescence, I hungered for guidance 344 00:14:01,700 --> 00:14:04,400 from a committed, caring adult. 345 00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:07,700 In my 20s and 30s, I suffered through an endless cycle 346 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:12,000 of failed relationships and constant feelings of inadequacy. 347 00:14:13,100 --> 00:14:16,700 A mere 12 years ago, I was a raging alcoholic. 348 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:21,100 To make matters worse, I had a massive drug addiction, 349 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:24,600 no money, no job, no hope. 350 00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:28,300 But at that moment, I knew what I had to do. 351 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,600 Used to be addicted to pills. 352 00:14:30,700 --> 00:14:33,600 Now I'm addicted to helping. 353 00:14:34,100 --> 00:14:35,900 And when you're addicted to helping, 354 00:14:36,100 --> 00:14:37,600 you don't need an intervention. 355 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:41,600 Because sometimes in life, everybody needs... 356 00:14:41,700 --> 00:14:43,200 Sturdy Wings! Sturdy Wings! 357 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,100 A little lovin' Yeah, yeah, yeah 358 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:51,300 We need a little love Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah 359 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:54,300 A little lovin' Yeah, yeah, yeah 360 00:14:55,700 --> 00:14:56,700 See, that's me? 361 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:04,200 Okay, then. 362 00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:06,200 Welcome, everybody. 363 00:15:06,300 --> 00:15:10,800 You know, it's particularly exciting for me to have a new batch of Bigs 364 00:15:10,900 --> 00:15:13,600 to match up with a new group of kids, or Littles, 365 00:15:13,700 --> 00:15:15,600 as we call them here at Sturdy Wings. 366 00:15:15,700 --> 00:15:17,200 I see a familiar face. 367 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:18,700 Guilty as charged. 368 00:15:20,700 --> 00:15:22,100 I'd already prefer jail. 369 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:24,600 All right. Let's move right along here. 370 00:15:24,700 --> 00:15:26,200 Schedule-wise, you can elect to spend 371 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:27,900 as much time with your Little... 372 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,700 Hey. Or as little time. 373 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:30,800 It takes a village. 374 00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:31,900 Hmm? 375 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,800 Hillary Clinton. I'm sort of into politics. 376 00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:36,500 I'm sort of engaged. 377 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:38,200 I sort of have a boner. 378 00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:39,900 Okay. 379 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,300 Got lots of handouts, information to cover, 380 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,200 so let's get started. 381 00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:45,700 First time with the program? 382 00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:47,300 Oh, God, really? 383 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:48,900 Wheeler, switch with me. No way, dude. 384 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:52,000 Martin Gary. I can always spot a newbie. 385 00:15:52,900 --> 00:15:54,200 It's my fifth year with Wings. 386 00:15:54,300 --> 00:15:56,500 I guess Paul McCartney's got nothing on me, huh? 387 00:15:56,700 --> 00:15:58,200 Love, take me down to the streets 388 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:01,900 That's not a Wings' song. 389 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,700 Yeah, that's one of their hits from the '70s. 390 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:05,200 I'm not sure which one. It's not a... It's not. 391 00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:07,800 It isn't? No. 392 00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:09,600 I think it might be. No, it's not. Nobody sings that song. 393 00:16:09,700 --> 00:16:11,000 I don't know about that. I'll have to google it. 394 00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:14,800 That's right, some kids are allergic to their own sweat. 395 00:16:14,900 --> 00:16:17,600 So probably best to put the kibosh on physical activity. 396 00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:21,700 Maybe play a boardgame or tell a knock, knock joke. 397 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:22,800 Oh! 398 00:16:22,900 --> 00:16:23,900 Martin! 399 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,700 Knock, knock. Who's there? 400 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:27,200 Mike Snifferpipits. 401 00:16:27,300 --> 00:16:28,800 Mike Snifferpipits who? 402 00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:31,700 Mike Snifferpipits who? How many Mike Snifferpipits do you know? 403 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:34,000 Come on! Let me in. It's cold out here! 404 00:16:34,300 --> 00:16:35,700 Jeez. 405 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:37,800 Martin, come on up here. 406 00:16:37,900 --> 00:16:39,000 Let's do a little dimostrazione. 407 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:41,300 This... 408 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:42,400 Ah! 409 00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:44,700 Perfectly acceptable hug between a Little and a Big. 410 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:46,000 Ooh, la la! 411 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:49,600 This is not. 412 00:16:49,700 --> 00:16:52,500 Well, obviously we're not supposed to butt-fuck these kids. 413 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:54,100 Well, it looks like I'm out of handouts. 414 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:56,300 So why don't we take a little break, get a cup of joe? 415 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,300 I know I'm gonna put mine right in here. 416 00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:02,200 And then when you come back, it'll be time to meet... Drum roll, please. 417 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:05,000 ...your Little! 418 00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:15,500 I cannot wait to meet mine. 419 00:17:15,700 --> 00:17:17,300 I'm going to take them to the zoo, 420 00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:20,300 Because I heard that the giant panda bear 421 00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:22,900 has a little baby panda bear, 422 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,400 and there's just nothing cuter 423 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:26,000 than a little baby panda bear... 424 00:17:26,100 --> 00:17:27,200 Yeah, I can't do this. 425 00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:28,700 Danny, stop. 426 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:31,500 We will get raped in jail. Do you understand? 427 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:33,100 What's the point? 428 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,700 I mean, I've got nothing to give a kid. 429 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:37,400 If you were a kid, would you want to hang out with me? 430 00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:38,700 Hey, do you want to get raped? 431 00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:40,000 Hello, gentlemen. 432 00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:41,400 Hey. 433 00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:43,600 You probably heard that out of context. Excuse me? 434 00:17:43,700 --> 00:17:47,000 When I asked my friend Danny if he wanted to get raped. 435 00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:50,500 I want you both to listen to me, okay? And listen good. 436 00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:55,200 I know why you're here, so don't BS a BSer. 437 00:17:55,300 --> 00:17:59,500 Okay? Your "presence" here, court-ordered. 438 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,400 Why did you put "presence" in quotes? 439 00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:03,800 Are you implying that we're not here? 440 00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:06,900 You know, one call to the judge from me, 441 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,400 and you are in the slammer, like M.C. Hammer. 442 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:10,800 Did M.C. Hammer go to prison? 443 00:18:10,900 --> 00:18:12,300 Yes, he did. 444 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,200 Or he came extremely close. 445 00:18:14,300 --> 00:18:17,600 I'm certain he filed for bankruptcy, so don't BS me right now, okay? 446 00:18:17,700 --> 00:18:19,400 I don't understand. How are we BSing you? 447 00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:22,400 Exactly. I'm BS-proof. 448 00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:25,100 Here's a couple of time sheets. 449 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:28,600 You'll want your little buddies' parents to sign them after each outing, okay? 450 00:18:28,700 --> 00:18:33,000 And that way, I can use my BS flyswatter to swat away the flies 451 00:18:33,900 --> 00:18:35,700 that is your BS. 452 00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:38,400 Okay? Any questions? 453 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:42,300 Hey, little Littles, your Bigs are here! 454 00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:50,400 Okay. That's good fun! 455 00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:54,000 Danny, your Little is elsewhere. Why don't you come with me? 456 00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:56,300 Oh, man. 457 00:18:56,900 --> 00:19:00,100 I've heard of popcorn in the face, but this is ridiculous. 458 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,200 Brothers in arms, follow me! 459 00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:15,200 The evil King Argotron has us cornered. 460 00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:19,200 My fair lady Esplen, Goddess of Navalore. 461 00:19:19,300 --> 00:19:21,200 I fight for your honor. 462 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,200 You wish to kiss me? 463 00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:26,700 There's precious little time. 464 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,500 What the hell. 465 00:19:35,100 --> 00:19:38,600 No! No. More later! Now I must fight! 466 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:45,400 Your kid's name is Augie Farks, a little older than most of the kids. 467 00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:51,600 Oh. 468 00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:54,400 Um, that... 469 00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:56,000 I wasn't really 100% yet. 470 00:19:56,100 --> 00:19:58,100 Don't judge me by that move that... 471 00:19:58,200 --> 00:19:59,400 I'm not gonna get in trouble, right? 472 00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:02,700 This is just... This is just soft foam and duct tape. It can't harm anyone. 473 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:03,800 No worries, my liege. 474 00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:05,000 Okay! 475 00:20:05,100 --> 00:20:07,300 This is Danny. He wants to be your new friend. 476 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:08,900 So I'm gonna let you guys get to know each other, 477 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,100 and I'll fade into the mist. 478 00:20:13,700 --> 00:20:15,200 How's it going? 479 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:19,300 That's a nice routine you worked out. 480 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,200 I hope you weren't planning on slaying me. 481 00:20:26,700 --> 00:20:27,800 Wonderful. 482 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,400 Come on, Wheeler. Let's meet your kid. His name's Ronnie. 483 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:33,100 He's one of our youngest. Single mom, full-time job. 484 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:36,200 Signed him up about six weeks ago. Matched him up with eight different Bigs. 485 00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:37,600 No one's lasted more than a day, 486 00:20:37,700 --> 00:20:40,800 but I think you're perfect because you're young, you're fun, 487 00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:42,000 and you don't wanna go to prison. 488 00:20:42,100 --> 00:20:43,500 That's scary! 489 00:20:43,900 --> 00:20:44,900 Oh! 490 00:20:45,500 --> 00:20:49,000 And FYI, you're playing on this girl's court now, okay? 491 00:20:49,100 --> 00:20:50,800 So you're playing by her rules. Are you the coach? 492 00:20:50,900 --> 00:20:53,000 I am the coach. I'm the coach, and I'm the point guard, 493 00:20:53,100 --> 00:20:56,800 I'm the two forwards, the center, and I'm the other guard. 494 00:20:56,900 --> 00:20:59,100 I'm the entire organization. 495 00:21:02,700 --> 00:21:05,400 Hey, there, Ronnie. How you doing today? Doing a little drawing? 496 00:21:05,500 --> 00:21:07,000 That's cool. 497 00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:08,800 I want you to meet someone really special. 498 00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:12,300 And I think you two dudes are gonna become real homeys. 499 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:13,600 Ronnie, this is Anson. 500 00:21:13,700 --> 00:21:15,200 Wheeler's good. 501 00:21:15,300 --> 00:21:16,500 Whatever. 502 00:21:19,300 --> 00:21:21,600 Hey, big guy. What you doing here? 503 00:21:21,700 --> 00:21:24,600 What up, Ronnie? It's good to meet you. 504 00:21:30,100 --> 00:21:31,500 What you drawing there? 505 00:21:31,700 --> 00:21:34,500 Oh. Beyonc�. She's smoking! 506 00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:36,000 I don't want to take my pants off! 507 00:21:36,100 --> 00:21:37,900 What? Whoa, whoa! 508 00:21:38,300 --> 00:21:40,100 All right, Ronnie. That's enough. 509 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:41,400 This bitch tried to grab my joint! 510 00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:42,800 Language, Ronnie! 511 00:21:42,900 --> 00:21:44,400 My language is English! 512 00:21:44,500 --> 00:21:47,800 And this motherfucker tried to grab on my hang-down. 513 00:21:47,900 --> 00:21:49,900 I got my own hang-down to touch, kid. 514 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,700 Honky-ass wanted a handful of my balls! 515 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:53,300 Honky? That's racist. 516 00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:56,300 Well, I trust you two will work this out. I'm not gonna micromanage. 517 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,400 Not my modus operandi. 518 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,200 I have no idea what I'm gonna do with this kid. 519 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:06,000 Me, either. I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch, he'd come in his pants. 520 00:22:06,100 --> 00:22:08,300 I've been talking to him for half an hour. Kid's barely said a word. 521 00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:10,200 Maybe we should just go to jail. It's 30 days. 522 00:22:10,300 --> 00:22:11,200 Whoa! 523 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,800 I don't know if this is some kind of joke to you, Danny, 524 00:22:13,900 --> 00:22:15,900 but I actually like my life, okay? 525 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,600 Now, if I go to jail, I'm gonna lose my job. Listen. 526 00:22:18,700 --> 00:22:20,800 We go to prison, you're never gonna get Beth back. 527 00:22:20,900 --> 00:22:24,000 We come home after 30 days, she's banging her boss. I guarantee it. 528 00:22:24,100 --> 00:22:26,700 Really? She's gonna be banging Patricia Feingold? 529 00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:27,800 Her boss is a chick? 530 00:22:27,900 --> 00:22:29,100 Oh, Jesus. 531 00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:32,300 Danny, just listen, okay? We're a team. All right? You and me. 532 00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:35,100 We can do this. We just got to stick together. 533 00:22:35,300 --> 00:22:36,800 Fine. Good. 534 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,500 So, what do you do with kids? 535 00:22:39,700 --> 00:22:44,600 Hey, kids! We Chip Monks just broke our vow of silence, and we want to sing! 536 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,700 We are the monks of chip monk Charlie's 537 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,000 We will give you food to eat 538 00:22:50,300 --> 00:22:52,600 And once it's in our tummies 539 00:22:52,700 --> 00:22:55,700 We will move our chip monk feet 540 00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,100 We are the butts of Chip Monk ass 541 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:01,300 But we've got the ass... 542 00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:02,400 Come on! Sit down! 543 00:23:02,500 --> 00:23:04,900 All right? Please. Danny. 544 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,500 I like Ronnie's version better. 545 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:09,900 I like how it evokes the concept of ass and butt. 546 00:23:10,900 --> 00:23:12,200 Okay. Thanks. 547 00:23:12,300 --> 00:23:14,200 Don't throw shit, Ronnie. Come on. 548 00:23:14,300 --> 00:23:16,700 How many hours do we have left? 549 00:23:17,700 --> 00:23:19,800 So, do you like Coca-Cola? 550 00:23:19,900 --> 00:23:22,700 I like the idea of it more than I actually like it. 551 00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:25,100 Ooh! They got chicken fingers. 552 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,400 I'm gonna run a train on these chicken fingers. 553 00:23:27,500 --> 00:23:28,700 I'm just gonna be like... 554 00:23:30,500 --> 00:23:33,900 Let me guess. You're not really rolling with the ladies in school, are you, Augie? 555 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:38,300 Oh, no. I'm really good friends with the school nurse. She's a divorc�e. 556 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:42,700 So, Aug, it's a pretty interesting cape. 557 00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:44,700 Are you like a superhero or something? 558 00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:46,400 Yeah, I wish. 559 00:23:46,500 --> 00:23:49,300 No, this is... This is part of my battle attire for Laire. 560 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:50,400 What the hell is Laire? 561 00:23:50,500 --> 00:23:53,000 It's this fantasy world where anything is possible. 562 00:23:53,100 --> 00:23:55,000 One minute you could be sparring with an elf, 563 00:23:55,100 --> 00:23:58,400 and the next you could be battling against a troll who wants nothing more 564 00:23:58,500 --> 00:24:01,500 than just to steal your gold and leave you penniless! 565 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:02,700 Sounds gay. 566 00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:04,100 No, no. There's girls there. 567 00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:05,100 Girls can be gay. 568 00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:07,700 If by gay you mean the old English definition 569 00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:12,000 of "fun, enjoyable and carefree," then, yes, it's extremely gay. 570 00:24:12,100 --> 00:24:14,000 I think they meant the other definition. 571 00:24:14,100 --> 00:24:17,200 I know, but to understand it, you really have to see it for yourself. 572 00:24:17,300 --> 00:24:18,400 Okay. 573 00:24:20,100 --> 00:24:21,600 Hey, pick us up in two hours. 574 00:24:21,700 --> 00:24:23,700 Fuck you, Miss Daisy! 575 00:24:29,500 --> 00:24:31,000 So, Augie, why do they call it Laire? 576 00:24:31,100 --> 00:24:33,500 It's Live Action Interactive Role-playing Explorers. 577 00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:34,900 We're all divided into countries, 578 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,500 fighting a never-ending war to control the realm. 579 00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:41,100 Or until they have to clear you out for soccer practice. 580 00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:42,800 Oh! 581 00:24:42,900 --> 00:24:44,800 Greetings, nobleman! 582 00:24:46,100 --> 00:24:49,400 Any friend of Blufgan's is a friend of Kuzzik, 583 00:24:49,500 --> 00:24:52,800 fifth son of Leponius, earl of Ringor. 584 00:24:52,900 --> 00:24:55,500 Diana has put her bosom away. 585 00:24:55,700 --> 00:24:59,000 Apollo has lifted his skirt. The day has been launched. 586 00:24:59,100 --> 00:25:02,900 May I present to you my vassal, Artonius? 587 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:03,900 Greetings, friends. 588 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:05,200 Greetings. 589 00:25:05,300 --> 00:25:10,300 Tell me, Blufgan, art thou preparing for the Battle Royale? 590 00:25:10,900 --> 00:25:12,300 'Tis a mere month away. 591 00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:13,600 Aye, my lord. 592 00:25:13,700 --> 00:25:15,100 Huzzah, huzzah! 593 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:18,600 Godspeed, Blufgan, and all hail Xanthia! 594 00:25:18,700 --> 00:25:20,300 Hail, Xanthia! Hail, Xanthia! 595 00:25:20,900 --> 00:25:22,800 Rub-a-dub-dub! 596 00:25:25,900 --> 00:25:27,300 What the fuck just happened there? 597 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:28,500 They're my kinsmen. 598 00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:29,900 We're all from Xanthia. 599 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,800 We're a smaller country, but we're no Cacedonia, Danny. 600 00:25:32,900 --> 00:25:34,900 Ow! Don't hit so hard! Okay. 601 00:25:36,300 --> 00:25:37,300 Hi, Blufgan. 602 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:38,600 Hey! Hey, Esplen. 603 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:42,200 Blufgan! Blufgan! Blufgan! 604 00:25:42,300 --> 00:25:43,900 Blufgan! 605 00:25:46,100 --> 00:25:48,600 All right, Gleebo. One more. 606 00:25:52,500 --> 00:25:54,400 I should have never started feeding the goddamn elves. 607 00:25:54,500 --> 00:25:55,800 Jesus Christ. 608 00:25:55,900 --> 00:25:57,100 Hey, master handler. 609 00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:02,700 Whoa! Who's that dork? 610 00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:04,200 That's the king. 611 00:26:04,700 --> 00:26:08,500 Well, I should have guessed. Nothing says royalty like The Burger Hole. 612 00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:11,100 Yeah, he and his lackeys eat there before every battle. 613 00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,300 His majesty approaches. Oh, crap! 614 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:14,700 His royalty approaches! 615 00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:16,400 Long live the king. 616 00:26:16,700 --> 00:26:17,900 What are you doing? 617 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:19,700 You have to kneel before the king. 618 00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:23,200 Bow down, little girl. Little girl, bow down, bow down. 619 00:26:23,300 --> 00:26:24,400 Why? 620 00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:26,000 Because he's the king. I beg you! 621 00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:32,500 No. 622 00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:33,800 Damn it. 623 00:26:37,900 --> 00:26:40,700 Hey, pull over to the mini-mart and get me some OJ, 624 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:42,800 and not that from-concentrate shit. 625 00:26:42,900 --> 00:26:44,200 Would it kill you to say please? 626 00:26:44,300 --> 00:26:45,800 It might. 627 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:49,600 "Concentrate. Not from concentrate. Pulp. Low pulp. 628 00:26:49,700 --> 00:26:51,200 "Lots of pulp. " 629 00:26:51,300 --> 00:26:52,500 Well, well, well. 630 00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:56,200 Hey. Fancy meeting you here. What, are you stalking me? 631 00:26:57,500 --> 00:27:00,000 Had to get my bagel-dog fix. So how's little Ronnie? 632 00:27:00,100 --> 00:27:03,200 Oh, you were right about us being a great match. Yeah. 633 00:27:03,300 --> 00:27:06,500 You know, like at Christmas when you get a gift? That's what Ronnie is. 634 00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:09,000 A gift. I love him so much. 635 00:27:09,300 --> 00:27:12,400 Wow. Well, that's very nice. 636 00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:16,500 Now, if you'll excuse me, I gots to get my Slurpee on. 637 00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:18,900 Well, watch this though first. 638 00:27:19,900 --> 00:27:22,600 Look at that. What does that look like? 639 00:27:24,900 --> 00:27:26,000 Okay. 640 00:27:32,700 --> 00:27:33,800 Open the door, Ronnie. 641 00:27:33,900 --> 00:27:35,900 You forgot to say "please. " 642 00:27:36,900 --> 00:27:40,500 Please open the door, or I'll pour your juice out. 643 00:27:41,100 --> 00:27:43,500 I don't drink juice, biatch! 644 00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:45,500 Come on. Hey. Ronnie. 645 00:27:49,700 --> 00:27:52,700 Oh, no. Don't turn that engine on. I swear to God... 646 00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:58,200 Okay. Okay. Joke's over, buddy. 647 00:27:58,300 --> 00:27:59,900 No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no! 648 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:01,000 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 649 00:28:02,100 --> 00:28:05,400 Good one! Good one, Ronnie! Now open the fucking door! 650 00:28:05,500 --> 00:28:07,400 Ronnie! What are you doing? 651 00:28:07,500 --> 00:28:08,800 Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude! 652 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:11,500 What are you doing? 653 00:28:14,700 --> 00:28:16,400 Baby! Yeah! 654 00:28:18,500 --> 00:28:20,300 Don't you run me over! 655 00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:21,700 Oh, no! 656 00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:24,300 Ouch! Watch it! 657 00:28:25,500 --> 00:28:26,900 Hey! 658 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,900 Oh, yeah. So good. Good times. 659 00:28:34,100 --> 00:28:35,600 You're on thin ice, buddy. 660 00:28:35,700 --> 00:28:36,900 Then quit. 661 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:38,400 I never quit. 662 00:28:38,500 --> 00:28:40,500 Give me my damn juice. 663 00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:42,700 Oh, this juice? Yeah, that juice. 664 00:28:48,300 --> 00:28:49,500 Fucking asshole. 665 00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:50,900 Punk bitch. 666 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,000 The lad had seasoned his mutton with wine berry and not mead! 667 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,000 The lad had seasoned his mutton with wine berry and not mead! 668 00:28:57,200 --> 00:29:01,400 Hey, did you see that spell of unbreakable madness I casted on those orcs? 669 00:29:01,500 --> 00:29:03,200 I don't think so. 670 00:29:03,900 --> 00:29:06,100 The length of a moon, hence "honeymoon. " 671 00:29:07,900 --> 00:29:10,800 Eight hours down, 142 to go. 672 00:29:10,900 --> 00:29:12,600 This sucks ass. 673 00:29:12,700 --> 00:29:15,700 Dude, I just spent the afternoon in Middle-earth 674 00:29:15,900 --> 00:29:18,300 with glee-glop and the floopty-doos, all right? 675 00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:19,400 Give me a fucking break. 676 00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:20,900 I got fucking carjacked. 677 00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:22,400 Yeah? Well, I got dumped. 678 00:29:22,500 --> 00:29:23,900 You deserved it! 679 00:29:24,900 --> 00:29:26,500 I hate your face. 680 00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:28,700 I hate your face. 681 00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:38,400 Ronnie! Ronnie! Take the wheel! 682 00:29:38,500 --> 00:29:39,600 Yeah. What are you doing? 683 00:29:39,700 --> 00:29:41,400 That is not safe! He can't drive! 684 00:29:41,500 --> 00:29:42,500 This is unsafe. 685 00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:43,800 Okay, stop! Stop! Okay! 686 00:29:43,900 --> 00:29:46,500 What the fuck? I'm driving! What... 687 00:29:48,900 --> 00:29:49,900 Oh, my God! 688 00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:51,300 Nice. Look what you started. 689 00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:52,800 Happy now? I'm gonna kill you! 690 00:29:52,900 --> 00:29:54,500 What did I do? 691 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,200 So I guess I'll pick you up tomorrow around 9:00? 692 00:30:05,300 --> 00:30:06,800 Uh, could we make it 10:00? 693 00:30:06,900 --> 00:30:09,500 Kid, you wanna spend some hours together or not? 694 00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:12,700 Dude, if I'm gonna have to chauffeur your asses around, let's make it 10:00. 695 00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:13,800 Yeah. 696 00:30:13,900 --> 00:30:16,300 Hey, Danny, you wanna come see my turtle? 697 00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:17,900 I'm fine. 698 00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:25,100 Of course he has a turtle. 699 00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:32,200 See you tomorrow, Ronnie. 700 00:30:32,300 --> 00:30:33,600 Fuck you, Anson! 701 00:30:33,700 --> 00:30:34,800 Never gets old. 702 00:30:34,900 --> 00:30:36,100 Wait, wait, wait. 703 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:37,500 You bitch! 704 00:30:51,700 --> 00:30:53,300 Oh, my God. She's moving out. 705 00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:55,300 Dude, that's harsh. 706 00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:58,500 Shit. 707 00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:00,800 Wow, you weren't kidding around. 708 00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:02,300 Yeah, I'm sorry. 709 00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:04,300 I wanted to be gone by the time you got home. 710 00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:07,300 No, it's all right. This is better, you know. 711 00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:10,600 Now we get to share the moment with Wheeler and... 712 00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:13,000 Becca and Sarah. 713 00:31:13,100 --> 00:31:14,300 Yeah, and Becca and Sarah. 714 00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:16,300 Who you've met, like, 127 times. 715 00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:18,300 I know. Keys. 716 00:31:19,300 --> 00:31:22,200 Beth, come on. You don't have to do this. 717 00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:25,100 I left you the Crock-Pot. 718 00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:27,400 I know you like chili. 719 00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:41,200 I know it's really hard for you right now, but I just want you to know that 720 00:31:41,300 --> 00:31:44,000 when you love something, you set it free, 721 00:31:44,100 --> 00:31:47,100 and if it's meant to be, you just... 722 00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:50,900 You take it back, and it comes... 723 00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:52,800 Yeah, I know where you're going with it. 724 00:31:52,900 --> 00:31:56,900 Yeah, and if she doesn't come back, I'd go for that friend of hers in the sweater. 725 00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:01,000 I know she's a few pounds overweight, but, you know, in my experience, 726 00:32:01,100 --> 00:32:04,300 it's the bigger ones that do way more stuff. 727 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:05,400 Good talk, Wheeler. 728 00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:07,200 Pick you up at 10:00. 729 00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:18,800 Hi, Ronnie. 730 00:32:18,900 --> 00:32:20,500 How are you today? What are you doing here? 731 00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:21,900 I told you I'd pick you up at 10:00, right? 732 00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:23,200 But I thought you'd pussy out. 733 00:32:23,300 --> 00:32:27,700 Well, you see? It's wonderful. We're learning so much about each other. 734 00:32:34,100 --> 00:32:36,200 Hey! You must be Wheeler. 735 00:32:36,300 --> 00:32:37,900 I'm Karen. Hi, Karen. 736 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:39,900 Wow, you look way too young to be Ronnie's mother. 737 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:41,400 What are you, the babysitter? 738 00:32:41,500 --> 00:32:43,100 You're funny. 739 00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:45,700 You're gonna need that sense of humor if you're gonna keep up with my son. 740 00:32:45,900 --> 00:32:48,600 It's about time Sturdy Wings found someone who could. 741 00:32:48,700 --> 00:32:52,800 Yeah, well, I think that Ronnie's a great little dude. 742 00:32:52,900 --> 00:32:55,500 "A great little dude"? You're cute. 743 00:32:57,100 --> 00:32:58,300 You ready, pal? 744 00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:00,100 I ain't your pal, vanilla. 745 00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:02,700 Karen, would you mind signing my hours sheet? 746 00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:04,300 Sure. Great. 747 00:33:05,700 --> 00:33:06,900 Well. 748 00:33:07,900 --> 00:33:09,500 All right. You boys have fun. 749 00:33:09,700 --> 00:33:12,100 His idea of fun is a fucking pottery class, yo. 750 00:33:12,300 --> 00:33:15,800 Hey. Hey, hey. Watch your mouth, little man. 751 00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:18,700 I love you. 752 00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:20,000 I love you, too. 753 00:33:25,500 --> 00:33:27,000 I got shotgun! 754 00:33:29,500 --> 00:33:31,500 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 755 00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:33,600 Stop. Who are you? What do you want? 756 00:33:33,700 --> 00:33:36,700 I'm Danny from Sturdy Wings. I'm here for Augie. 757 00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:40,000 Oh. I'm sorry. Augie, right. He'll be out in a minute. 758 00:33:40,100 --> 00:33:41,500 Let me ask you something, 759 00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:44,300 because you're one of these guys that's good with kids, right? 760 00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:46,300 Yeah. Totally. 761 00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:48,000 'Cause, the kid, man, I don't get it. 762 00:33:48,100 --> 00:33:50,100 He's into dragons and fairies 763 00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:51,700 and, you know, hoboes. 764 00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:52,800 Right. 765 00:33:52,900 --> 00:33:54,900 So, I mean, what am I supposed to say to him? 766 00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:56,000 Yeah. I don't know. I don't... 767 00:33:56,100 --> 00:33:59,000 Hey, but while I've got you here in my personal space, 768 00:33:59,100 --> 00:34:01,700 I was wondering if you could maybe sign off on my hours from yesterday. 769 00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:03,800 Oh, no, I don't... I'm not the kid's parent. 770 00:34:03,900 --> 00:34:07,000 No, that's... Parental signatures are mama's department. One second. 771 00:34:07,100 --> 00:34:10,500 Lynette! Augie's little buddy's here. He needs your signature. 772 00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:13,100 Oh! Hi! Hi. 773 00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:14,800 I'm Lynette. I'm Danny. 774 00:34:14,900 --> 00:34:16,200 So good to meet you. You, too. 775 00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:19,500 I was wondering if you could maybe sign my hours sheet from yesterday. 776 00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:20,700 Sure! 777 00:34:21,300 --> 00:34:26,100 You know, we are so thrilled that you are gonna be spending some time with Augie, 778 00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:30,300 because, you know, just how he is. 779 00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:32,600 How is he? 780 00:34:32,700 --> 00:34:36,800 I'm just glad you're gonna be getting him out of his own little world a bit. 781 00:34:36,900 --> 00:34:39,700 It's like, "Get out of here! Leave home!" 782 00:34:40,500 --> 00:34:42,600 Hey, why don't you come over for dinner on Saturday night, 783 00:34:42,700 --> 00:34:44,400 and we can get to know you a little bit better? 784 00:34:44,500 --> 00:34:48,500 I don't think so. It's not you. I hate having dinner with people. 785 00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:49,700 Hey, Augie, ready to... 786 00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:50,800 Yeah, let's go. Yeah. 787 00:34:57,600 --> 00:34:58,700 I think they're over here. 788 00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:00,800 I'm disappointed. This isn't gonna hurt anybody. 789 00:35:03,100 --> 00:35:05,200 So, your parents... Wow. 790 00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:07,000 Jim is not my dad. 791 00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:10,700 Okay. Well, that's probably good. 792 00:35:11,900 --> 00:35:14,900 Hey, hey, Odeon. Make way for King Argotron! 793 00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:19,500 Dude. 794 00:35:22,700 --> 00:35:24,900 Bow as your daughter does. 795 00:35:26,300 --> 00:35:27,600 Xanthians. 796 00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:29,600 Why bother? 797 00:35:30,500 --> 00:35:32,000 Good one, sir. 798 00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:36,800 Man, why do you bow for that guy? 799 00:35:36,900 --> 00:35:39,300 Because he's the king, and he rules the entire realm. 800 00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:41,200 He rules the entire realm? Yeah. 801 00:35:41,300 --> 00:35:45,600 My bad. Is that when he is or isn't whacking it to The Sims? 802 00:35:46,700 --> 00:35:49,200 You know, Augie, maybe you should think about losing the cape. 803 00:35:49,300 --> 00:35:51,000 At least in public. 804 00:35:51,100 --> 00:35:53,600 People tend to avoid people in capes. 805 00:35:53,700 --> 00:35:56,000 I know that's not the case here. 806 00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:58,600 Look at these people. 807 00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:05,700 I like these people. No, I know. 808 00:36:05,900 --> 00:36:09,400 But, you know, this isn't reality. It's not the real world. 809 00:36:09,500 --> 00:36:12,900 I know that, but in this world, I don't have to be me. 810 00:36:14,100 --> 00:36:16,100 I'm stuck again! 811 00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:18,500 Well, looks like maybe one of your people could use a hand. 812 00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:21,500 Help! Help! Help! Her, I don't like. 813 00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:32,300 Okay. This is my place. 814 00:36:32,900 --> 00:36:34,300 Shit hole. 815 00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:39,300 Look, kid, you're obviously not a big fan of me, and that's okay, 816 00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:41,100 but I think there's something to be gained 817 00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:44,300 from us spending 139 more hours together. 818 00:36:45,100 --> 00:36:46,300 Yeah. 819 00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,100 You know, my dad left me when I was young, 820 00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:52,200 so I know it sucks, 821 00:36:52,300 --> 00:36:55,500 but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right? 822 00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:58,300 Says the punk living in the shit hole. 823 00:36:59,900 --> 00:37:01,000 Who are these clowns? 824 00:37:01,100 --> 00:37:02,100 Kiss? 825 00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:03,500 You don't know who Kiss is? 826 00:37:03,700 --> 00:37:05,100 No. Never heard of them. 827 00:37:05,300 --> 00:37:06,400 They look like idiots to me. 828 00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:07,500 No, no, no, dude. 829 00:37:07,700 --> 00:37:09,700 These are four of the smartest guys who ever lived. 830 00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:12,000 They're these Jewish guys that grew up in New York, 831 00:37:12,100 --> 00:37:14,200 and they put on guitars and makeup to get girls, 832 00:37:14,300 --> 00:37:16,000 and all of their songs are about fucking! 833 00:37:16,100 --> 00:37:17,800 I'm listening. 834 00:37:21,900 --> 00:37:26,200 Seriously, this song is called Love Gun, and it's about Paul Stanley's dick 835 00:37:26,300 --> 00:37:28,900 and how this girl's gonna get some of his dick! 836 00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:30,300 Cool. 837 00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:31,700 I didn't know Jews could sing like that. 838 00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:36,000 No. No. They couldn't at the time. That's why they had to dress like clowns. 839 00:37:36,100 --> 00:37:37,300 This got them girls? 840 00:37:37,500 --> 00:37:40,900 Get this! They've been getting pussy nonstop for 30 years! 841 00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:43,100 They're probably fucking right now, and they're old dudes! 842 00:37:43,300 --> 00:37:45,000 They put makeup on, and it's all good! 843 00:37:45,100 --> 00:37:46,200 No shit? 844 00:37:46,300 --> 00:37:50,100 You pull the trigger of my 845 00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:52,400 Love gun 846 00:37:52,500 --> 00:37:54,800 You see, Ronnie? His dick is the gun! 847 00:37:57,700 --> 00:37:59,600 Love gun 848 00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:01,700 Love gun 849 00:38:01,700 --> 00:38:02,700 Love gun 850 00:38:04,100 --> 00:38:06,600 Okay, we logged 14 hours this weekend. 851 00:38:06,700 --> 00:38:08,100 That's not gonna be enough. 852 00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:11,300 Somehow we gotta get them on the weekdays, too. 853 00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:14,400 Hey, we could pretend to be their uncles, pull them out of school. 854 00:38:14,500 --> 00:38:16,000 That just sounds kind of creepy. 855 00:38:16,100 --> 00:38:17,300 Yeah, I guess. 856 00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:20,000 Hey! Sexy like a chocolate strawberry. 857 00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:24,000 What's her problem? 858 00:38:24,100 --> 00:38:25,200 I don't know. 859 00:38:25,300 --> 00:38:27,000 I mean, you laid that genius line on her. 860 00:38:27,100 --> 00:38:28,500 I can't believe she didn't take your bait. 861 00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:29,800 I know, right? 862 00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:32,200 Well, well, well. 863 00:38:32,300 --> 00:38:34,900 If it isn't Mr. Bullshit and Dr. I'm-full-of-shit. 864 00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:36,100 In what way are we full of shit? 865 00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:37,700 Which one of us has the Ph. D? 866 00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:39,900 So how was your first weekend with the boys? 867 00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:43,700 It was great. We did 14 hours. Will you sign our sheets? 868 00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:46,400 Maybe give us a few more, just for kicks? Round it up to 50? 869 00:38:46,500 --> 00:38:48,200 Don't you sass me. 870 00:38:48,300 --> 00:38:51,800 What, do you think I'm a pushover? You know what I used to eat for breakfast? 871 00:38:51,900 --> 00:38:53,100 Cocaine. 872 00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:56,300 You know what I used to eat for lunch? 873 00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:57,900 Cocaine. 874 00:38:58,000 --> 00:38:59,600 What'd you have for dinner? Was it cocaine? 875 00:38:59,700 --> 00:39:04,600 I will sign your sheets, but you need to know I am not here to service your hours. 876 00:39:04,700 --> 00:39:07,400 I'm here to service these young boys. 877 00:39:07,500 --> 00:39:11,100 Do you think I give a shit if you guys go to prison? 878 00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:13,100 I've been to prison. I have. 879 00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:15,100 I've been to prison. 880 00:39:15,500 --> 00:39:20,300 A prison of drugs, alcohol and sick thoughts. 881 00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:22,700 I used to have sick thoughts. 882 00:39:22,900 --> 00:39:25,000 So don't you come in here, 883 00:39:25,100 --> 00:39:27,900 preaching to me about hours 884 00:39:28,700 --> 00:39:33,100 when you're standing over there, and you're standing over there, 885 00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:35,200 and I don't know which way is up! 886 00:39:35,300 --> 00:39:36,600 Um... Should we come back? 887 00:39:36,700 --> 00:39:37,900 We can come back. Yeah. 888 00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:39,500 Come here. 889 00:39:40,100 --> 00:39:43,000 We're having an overnight camping trip, Big Bear this weekend. 890 00:39:43,100 --> 00:39:46,100 I suggest that you ask your Littles to go with you. 891 00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:49,000 Maybe worry a little bit about them and not so much about your hours. 892 00:39:49,100 --> 00:39:51,000 Overnight? That's great. Sign us up. 893 00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:52,700 And, fellas, will you do me a favor? 894 00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:55,200 Next time you want to bullshit me, 895 00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:58,400 bullshit each other instead, okay? 896 00:39:59,700 --> 00:40:01,500 See how that feels. 897 00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:03,900 Okay. Yep. 898 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:05,600 Okay. Okay. Okay. 899 00:40:06,300 --> 00:40:07,700 All right. 900 00:40:08,800 --> 00:40:09,900 I hate camping. 901 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:11,400 You could use a little dose of the outdoors. 902 00:40:11,500 --> 00:40:14,800 Camping blows. It's dirty, and I don't like sleeping on rocks. 903 00:40:14,900 --> 00:40:16,800 Bring some Ambien. You'll sleep like a baby. 904 00:40:16,900 --> 00:40:20,700 There's always a guy with an acoustic guitar that doesn't quite know how to play it. 905 00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:23,200 Kumbaya, my... 906 00:40:23,300 --> 00:40:24,300 Wait. I know it. 907 00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:25,400 Kumbaya 908 00:40:25,500 --> 00:40:27,800 You know. Wait. I know it. Wait. 909 00:40:28,100 --> 00:40:30,700 Kumbaya, my Lord 910 00:40:32,500 --> 00:40:35,200 No. Wait. Oh, yeah, I got it. 911 00:40:35,300 --> 00:40:36,300 This is it. 912 00:40:37,300 --> 00:40:39,400 I think that's got it. 913 00:40:41,100 --> 00:40:42,400 God damn it, Ronnie! 914 00:40:42,500 --> 00:40:44,200 What? 'Cause I'm black, you think I did it? 915 00:40:44,300 --> 00:40:47,400 No, 'cause you did it is why I think you did it. 916 00:40:48,700 --> 00:40:51,200 Let me tell you something. I am not your Big, and I'll hit you. 917 00:40:51,300 --> 00:40:52,200 I will hit a child. 918 00:40:52,300 --> 00:40:54,400 I've never done that before, but I will punch you in the face. 919 00:40:54,500 --> 00:40:55,800 Let's dance, Ben Affleck! 920 00:40:55,900 --> 00:40:57,400 Ronnie! Leave him alone. 921 00:40:57,500 --> 00:40:58,500 Fine! 922 00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:00,500 But I'm watching you, Daredevil. 923 00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:03,500 Looks like you guys could use a hand up here. 924 00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:06,900 Come on, man! Just having some fun. 925 00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:08,400 Let's take a hike. Thank you. 926 00:41:08,500 --> 00:41:12,400 Don't worry. Once the little ones are asleep, I'll break out the PG stuff. 927 00:41:12,500 --> 00:41:13,900 Kumbaya, huh? 928 00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:15,300 You don't happen to know any Wings, do you? 929 00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:16,700 Wings? Yeah. 930 00:41:17,100 --> 00:41:19,000 Love, take me down to the streets 931 00:41:19,100 --> 00:41:20,500 Yeah! 932 00:41:21,300 --> 00:41:24,300 Man! She got some boobies on her! 933 00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:26,000 You sure do like boobies, Ronnie. 934 00:41:26,100 --> 00:41:27,100 I sure do. 935 00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:29,900 Sometimes I call myself the Booby Watcher. 936 00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:33,400 Even got my own comic book. Adventures of the Booby Watcher. 937 00:41:33,500 --> 00:41:36,000 Okay. You know, I got a theory about boobies. 938 00:41:36,100 --> 00:41:37,500 Really? Yeah. 939 00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:39,500 You see, there are as many women as there are men on this planet. 940 00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:40,700 True that, true that. 941 00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:44,300 And every woman has two boobs, for the most part. 942 00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,700 So therefore, there's twice as many boobs as there are men. 943 00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:49,700 We're outnumbered, and it's overwhelming. 944 00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:52,100 We're powerless. We have to accept it. 945 00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:54,800 I like your take on boobies. 946 00:41:55,400 --> 00:41:57,200 And I like boobies. 947 00:41:57,300 --> 00:41:58,800 Kid, you got a lot to learn. 948 00:41:58,900 --> 00:42:00,000 I know what I'm doing. Really? 949 00:42:00,100 --> 00:42:01,700 So you're aware that you've committed one of the most 950 00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:02,700 common rookie boob-watching errors? 951 00:42:04,500 --> 00:42:05,600 What you mean? 952 00:42:05,700 --> 00:42:06,700 Never stare at the boobies, kid. 953 00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:09,400 Yeah, once you get caught, the game's over. 954 00:42:09,700 --> 00:42:11,500 But how? It's called training. 955 00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:14,100 You know, being aware without drawing attention. 956 00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:16,900 You don't think I've noticed the 34-C's in the camouflage tank top 957 00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:18,700 setting up the tent directly to the left of us? 958 00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:22,200 How about those twin cannons hiking up the mountain ridge 50 yards due west? 959 00:42:22,300 --> 00:42:23,500 Or the ridge itself? 960 00:42:23,700 --> 00:42:25,000 Round mounds of grass shaped like... 961 00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:26,800 Boobies! 962 00:42:26,900 --> 00:42:27,900 Don't look over there. Look here. 963 00:42:28,700 --> 00:42:31,200 Yeah, focus. You'll get it. 964 00:42:31,500 --> 00:42:34,600 Too bad old Sweeny herself couldn't come up here for this trip. 965 00:42:34,700 --> 00:42:35,700 That would have been fun, huh? 966 00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:36,900 Yeah. A real blast. 967 00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:39,600 Yeah, she probably just had to hold down the fort. 968 00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:42,600 You got a thing for Sweeny, Martin? 969 00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:46,900 Sweeney? Me? No. Now that is a knee slapper. 970 00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:48,600 Your erection is showing. 971 00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:49,800 What? 972 00:42:52,300 --> 00:42:53,300 You okay? 973 00:42:56,700 --> 00:42:58,600 Nature. 974 00:42:58,900 --> 00:43:02,500 Did you know that bald eagles are known to engage in a bizarre mating ritual 975 00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:05,200 where two eagles fly upwards, lock talons, 976 00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:08,500 then fall towards the earth while rotating, 977 00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:10,600 separating moments before they crash into the ground, 978 00:43:10,900 --> 00:43:13,700 if, and only if, they consummate their bird fuck? 979 00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:18,200 If they don't, they're willing to accept death by hard ground. 980 00:43:18,900 --> 00:43:20,800 It's the ultimate race against the clock. 981 00:43:20,900 --> 00:43:22,200 Why are you telling me this? 982 00:43:22,300 --> 00:43:23,900 Why would I not? 983 00:43:32,900 --> 00:43:34,600 Hi, Danny. 984 00:43:34,700 --> 00:43:36,700 I forgot to tell you, they'll be telling 985 00:43:37,900 --> 00:43:39,000 Ghost stories later. 986 00:43:39,100 --> 00:43:40,100 You should stop by. 987 00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:45,800 And as the barn door creaked open, ever so slowly, 988 00:43:45,900 --> 00:43:48,900 standing there with the moon at his back 989 00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:53,700 and holding the severed head of the pediatrician's mother in his hand, 990 00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:56,600 was Philip, 991 00:43:58,300 --> 00:43:59,300 the pizza delivery boy 992 00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:01,700 from when they ordered pizza at the beginning of the story! 993 00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:03,700 Come on, you guys! 994 00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:05,100 All right. Whatever! Hey, come here. 995 00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:06,700 You guys are unscareable. 996 00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:08,900 Think you can do better? Who's got a better story? Come on. 997 00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,300 You guys are so smart. Who's got a scarier story than me? 998 00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:13,300 Yes? So what's up? 999 00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:15,600 I don't know. What's up with you? 1000 00:44:15,700 --> 00:44:17,200 I know you're engaged. I haven't forgotten. 1001 00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:18,300 Uh-huh. 1002 00:44:18,500 --> 00:44:19,600 So what's this? 1003 00:44:19,700 --> 00:44:20,700 Ooh. 1004 00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:22,100 Those are my testicles. 1005 00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:23,300 Yeah. 1006 00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:25,500 Listen, I have an arrangement with my fianc�. 1007 00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:30,100 I'm completely faithful to him within the area codes of greater Los Angeles. 1008 00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:34,100 Out here, I'm just another woman who's ready to cheat. 1009 00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:36,000 Give me two minutes. 1010 00:44:36,100 --> 00:44:38,900 How about you, Daniel? You think you can top it? 1011 00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:40,600 It's Danny. Oh. 1012 00:44:40,700 --> 00:44:45,900 Oh, Danny boy The Danny boys are Danny boys 1013 00:44:46,900 --> 00:44:50,300 Come on, man! We're on pins and needles. Give us a story. 1014 00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:52,500 Okay, I've got a really good horror story, 1015 00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:55,700 and it's particularly terrifying because it's true. 1016 00:44:55,900 --> 00:44:57,800 Oh, a true story! 1017 00:44:57,900 --> 00:45:01,800 In countries all over the world, including our own, 1018 00:45:01,900 --> 00:45:04,600 children, many of them just like you, 1019 00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:07,900 are abducted and sold 1020 00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:10,700 into the world of underground sex trafficking. 1021 00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:12,100 What is he saying? Okay! 1022 00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:15,800 I'm gonna stop you there, Danny boy. That is a scary story. 1023 00:45:15,900 --> 00:45:18,800 Story time is over! Everybody, let's break into our groups. 1024 00:45:18,900 --> 00:45:22,600 Group A, come with me for Martin's midnight mystery hike. 1025 00:45:22,700 --> 00:45:24,800 And group B, go with Duane. What you got on tap, Duane? 1026 00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:27,600 We are gonna make some s'mores using white chocolate. 1027 00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:28,700 Oh. 1028 00:45:28,900 --> 00:45:32,000 Well, I'm not sure I agree with that, but to each their own. 1029 00:45:32,100 --> 00:45:34,200 Hey, hey, Danny. Is this all your Ambien? 1030 00:45:34,300 --> 00:45:35,300 Yeah. 1031 00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:37,600 Okay, 'cause Connie and I are gonna take some, 1032 00:45:37,700 --> 00:45:39,400 and then we're gonna stay up as late as we can, 1033 00:45:39,500 --> 00:45:41,200 because if you fight the urge to go to sleep, 1034 00:45:41,300 --> 00:45:43,500 things start to get all trippy, and then we're gonna fuck. 1035 00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:44,700 Connie who's engaged. 1036 00:45:44,800 --> 00:45:45,900 Oh, yeah. 1037 00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:49,800 You know what? Don't worry about it. We'll make do with three each. 1038 00:45:57,600 --> 00:46:00,100 Fight it. Come on. Stay awake. 1039 00:46:00,900 --> 00:46:03,800 You know, a lot of people don't realize that bushes, just like flowers, 1040 00:46:03,900 --> 00:46:06,100 emit a wonderful aroma, especially at night. 1041 00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:07,800 Who wants to sniff this bush? 1042 00:46:14,900 --> 00:46:17,400 So Ronnie's out on some kind of hike. 1043 00:46:17,500 --> 00:46:18,600 Where's Wheeler? 1044 00:46:18,700 --> 00:46:19,900 He's having sex with a married lady. 1045 00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:21,000 Oh. 1046 00:46:21,100 --> 00:46:22,900 Are you sewing? Yeah. 1047 00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:25,600 This is my country's emblem. 1048 00:46:27,700 --> 00:46:30,900 Do you think we can speak in private for a second? 1049 00:46:32,800 --> 00:46:34,200 Yeah. Yeah. 1050 00:46:35,800 --> 00:46:38,100 I already talked to Kuzzik and Artonius, 1051 00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:43,200 and we would like to officially invite you to be a soldier in the Xanthian army. 1052 00:46:43,300 --> 00:46:46,900 Well, that's very kind of you, but I would like to respectfully decline. 1053 00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:48,100 I'm kind of a pacifist. 1054 00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:50,200 I don't really believe in imaginary bloodshed. 1055 00:46:50,300 --> 00:46:53,300 But there's room in Laire for all belief systems. 1056 00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:57,000 Even early barbaric modalities have their place. 1057 00:46:58,300 --> 00:47:00,700 Augie, look, you're a good kid. I like you, 1058 00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:03,200 but I'm not really into the whole buddy-buddy, 1059 00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:05,600 let's-go-do-stuff-together kind of thing. 1060 00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:08,000 Well, why are you here? 1061 00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:12,500 It's court-ordered. 1062 00:47:13,200 --> 00:47:15,100 What did you do? 1063 00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:18,700 I just had one of those days where you wake up and say, 1064 00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:21,800 "Where did the last 10 years of my life go?" 1065 00:47:21,900 --> 00:47:25,100 I asked my girlfriend to marry me out of impulse. 1066 00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:27,300 She dumped me. 1067 00:47:28,100 --> 00:47:32,400 And then I ran a truck that looks like a bull into a statue of a horse. 1068 00:47:33,100 --> 00:47:34,900 I'm not here by choice either, by the way. 1069 00:47:35,000 --> 00:47:36,100 No? 1070 00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:37,900 My guidance counselor signed me up. 1071 00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:39,600 Really? Yeah. 1072 00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:43,300 Said anyone who wears a cape and has a sword should have more friends. 1073 00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:45,200 Whoop-dee-doo, right? 1074 00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:47,600 So both of us don't want to be here. 1075 00:47:47,700 --> 00:47:49,000 No. 1076 00:47:49,100 --> 00:47:51,200 Well, we got that in common. 1077 00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:54,200 So do you have a girlfriend? 1078 00:47:54,300 --> 00:47:55,400 No. What? 1079 00:47:55,600 --> 00:47:58,700 Why would you ask... No, I don't have a girlfriend. 1080 00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:01,800 But what about that girl you're always looking at, with the cap and the... 1081 00:48:01,900 --> 00:48:03,800 I don't know what you're talking about. 1082 00:48:03,900 --> 00:48:06,200 Come on! Don't bullshit me. 1083 00:48:06,300 --> 00:48:08,100 You're always looking at her. 1084 00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:10,700 You mean Esplen, the Goddess of Navalore? 1085 00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:11,800 I don't know. Probably. 1086 00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:13,000 Her name's Sarah. 1087 00:48:13,100 --> 00:48:14,200 Sarah. 1088 00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:16,100 Ah, Sarah. 1089 00:48:17,500 --> 00:48:18,600 You ever talk to her? 1090 00:48:18,700 --> 00:48:19,800 No. 1091 00:48:19,900 --> 00:48:22,500 I've killed her a couple of times in battle, but that's not really anything. 1092 00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:23,600 Talk to her. 1093 00:48:23,700 --> 00:48:24,900 No, I can't talk to her. 1094 00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:27,900 Romance her. Give her that patch of yours. She'll love it. 1095 00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:29,000 No, I can't give her this. 1096 00:48:29,100 --> 00:48:30,300 She'll be flattered! Why not? 1097 00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:32,100 I made it for you. 1098 00:48:34,500 --> 00:48:35,500 You made that for me? 1099 00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:36,700 Yeah. 1100 00:48:37,500 --> 00:48:38,600 Great. Now I gotta do it. 1101 00:48:38,700 --> 00:48:40,100 Yeah, that kind of was my plan. 1102 00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:41,700 That was so low, dude. 1103 00:48:46,700 --> 00:48:49,200 No. Come on, Connie. Stay awake. 1104 00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:53,700 Fuck. 1105 00:48:55,300 --> 00:48:56,600 I gotta pee. 1106 00:48:57,500 --> 00:48:58,600 Yep. 1107 00:49:01,200 --> 00:49:02,800 Hey! Martin! 1108 00:49:02,900 --> 00:49:03,900 Okay. 1109 00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:06,100 What are you doing out here? 1110 00:49:06,200 --> 00:49:07,700 I'm just doing my perimeter check. 1111 00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:11,200 Hey, did you know that dinosaurs are not extinct? 1112 00:49:11,300 --> 00:49:14,800 Because birds are dinosaurs, and they're everywhere. 1113 00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:17,100 Okay! 1114 00:49:17,700 --> 00:49:19,600 Now, all right. 1115 00:49:20,200 --> 00:49:22,300 I gotta pee. I really gotta pee. 1116 00:49:26,900 --> 00:49:28,400 Look at that. 1117 00:49:29,100 --> 00:49:31,200 Yo, Wheeler! You in there? 1118 00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:37,200 Oh, my God. 1119 00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:40,100 Dude. Nice, man. 1120 00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:41,700 Oh, boy. 1121 00:49:41,800 --> 00:49:44,800 This is a classic case of guy on the ground. 1122 00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:53,500 I'm sorry. I don't care. 1123 00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:54,700 Okay. 1124 00:49:54,900 --> 00:49:57,900 So I heard there was some sex on the trip 1125 00:49:58,000 --> 00:49:59,700 and some drugs, too. 1126 00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:03,000 Only thing missing was rock 'n' roll. 1127 00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:08,100 What was Danny doing with those Ambiens? 1128 00:50:08,200 --> 00:50:10,600 He has trouble sleeping outdoors. 1129 00:50:11,500 --> 00:50:14,800 How did Wheeler come to be naked in the center of camp? 1130 00:50:14,900 --> 00:50:16,200 He was sleepwalking. 1131 00:50:16,300 --> 00:50:18,200 Danny ever offer you drugs? Well... 1132 00:50:18,300 --> 00:50:20,000 Answer me. No, ma'am. 1133 00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:22,700 Did Wheeler ever expose himself to you? 1134 00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:24,100 Hell no! 1135 00:50:26,500 --> 00:50:30,000 Fellows? These young gentlemen here have decided your fates. 1136 00:50:30,100 --> 00:50:34,000 If it was up to me, I'd lock you both up, but the boys are saying you're okay. 1137 00:50:34,100 --> 00:50:37,200 This is your last chance. Start acting like Bigs. 1138 00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:40,900 Thanks, guys. 1139 00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:42,500 Suck it, Reindeer Games! 1140 00:50:42,600 --> 00:50:43,800 I'm not Ben Affleck. 1141 00:50:43,900 --> 00:50:45,700 You white? Then you Ben Affleck. 1142 00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:47,600 Right, Wheeler? Yeah. You are white. 1143 00:50:47,700 --> 00:50:49,200 That's true, I am white. 1144 00:50:49,300 --> 00:50:50,500 Let's go. 1145 00:51:05,700 --> 00:51:06,800 Ready to go? 1146 00:51:06,900 --> 00:51:08,500 Yeah. I'm ready. All right. 1147 00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:09,700 Excellent! 1148 00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:14,600 You are going down! 1149 00:51:14,700 --> 00:51:16,900 Don't you mess with my dark arts. 1150 00:51:17,900 --> 00:51:19,100 You shall be slain. 1151 00:51:19,200 --> 00:51:21,100 Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah. 1152 00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:24,700 Fuck my cock! Sorry. 1153 00:51:27,500 --> 00:51:29,600 I have a question, Wheeler. Yes, JJ. 1154 00:51:29,700 --> 00:51:33,700 How many dates do you have to go out with a girl before you get to touch her... 1155 00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:35,300 Boobs? Yeah. 1156 00:51:36,100 --> 00:51:37,100 Good question. 1157 00:51:37,200 --> 00:51:38,200 So you get hit in the arm, 1158 00:51:38,300 --> 00:51:39,800 you lose your arm. Yes. 1159 00:51:39,900 --> 00:51:41,400 You gotta put it behind you, like this. 1160 00:51:41,500 --> 00:51:43,500 You get hit in the leg, you lose the leg. 1161 00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:44,600 See you. 1162 00:51:44,700 --> 00:51:45,900 So you gotta hop. 1163 00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:47,200 You can't use it. You gotta hop around? 1164 00:51:47,300 --> 00:51:48,500 Yeah. Yeah, you gotta hop. 1165 00:51:48,600 --> 00:51:51,100 And if you get hit in the chest, then you're... 1166 00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:54,500 Lifestyle you chose 1167 00:51:54,600 --> 00:51:56,600 could lead to dying sad and alone? What? 1168 00:51:56,700 --> 00:51:58,800 What about STDs? No. Herpes? 1169 00:51:58,900 --> 00:52:01,500 Gonorrhea? At the very least, crabs. What the hell? 1170 00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:04,700 I don't have crabs. What have you been telling them, Ronnie? 1171 00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:06,300 You got crabs. 1172 00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:09,000 Hi. 1173 00:52:18,600 --> 00:52:21,500 Come on, whitey, dance! Break it on down! Get it funky! 1174 00:52:23,500 --> 00:52:24,700 He's out. 1175 00:52:44,400 --> 00:52:46,100 Thank you. Yep. 1176 00:52:47,200 --> 00:52:48,900 Call her. Sweep her off her feet. 1177 00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:50,100 It's not that easy, Augie. 1178 00:52:50,200 --> 00:52:51,800 Just let her know how you feel. 1179 00:52:51,900 --> 00:52:52,800 Give her one call. 1180 00:52:52,900 --> 00:52:54,100 All right. I'II... 1181 00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:55,800 Just get off my back. 1182 00:52:55,900 --> 00:52:57,600 Did you know in the 14th century that 1183 00:52:57,700 --> 00:53:00,500 knights used to write love songs and poems for the women they loved, 1184 00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:01,800 even if she was married? 1185 00:53:01,900 --> 00:53:03,300 No, I didn't know that. 1186 00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:04,400 Well, there you go. 1187 00:53:04,500 --> 00:53:05,800 It's her voice mail. 1188 00:53:05,900 --> 00:53:07,800 Hey, Beth. How's it going? It's me. 1189 00:53:07,900 --> 00:53:10,100 Tell her her hair is like 1,000 suns. Look, I... 1190 00:53:10,200 --> 00:53:12,300 I was wondering if maybe you wanted to get together. 1191 00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:13,800 I know there's a lot of stuff I'd like to say. 1192 00:53:13,900 --> 00:53:15,000 Whispering eye. 1193 00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:17,900 So, if you get a chance, give me a call back and... 1194 00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:20,100 You long for her whispering eye. We can... 1195 00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:21,500 We can see each other. 1196 00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:22,600 I'd love to see you. 1197 00:53:22,700 --> 00:53:23,800 And her whispering eye. 1198 00:53:23,900 --> 00:53:25,800 And your whispering eye. 1199 00:53:26,500 --> 00:53:28,100 All right. Bye. 1200 00:53:29,500 --> 00:53:31,100 Whispering eye? 1201 00:53:31,500 --> 00:53:33,300 It means vagina. 1202 00:53:36,100 --> 00:53:37,700 It means vagina. 1203 00:53:38,400 --> 00:53:40,000 That's a classy move, man. 1204 00:53:40,100 --> 00:53:41,300 It means vagina. 1205 00:53:41,400 --> 00:53:44,700 Yeah. Get your whispering eye in the cab, Augie. 1206 00:53:45,200 --> 00:53:46,300 Vagina! 1207 00:53:51,200 --> 00:53:52,300 Hey. 1208 00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:55,100 Hi. 1209 00:53:55,800 --> 00:53:57,100 Thanks for meeting me. 1210 00:53:57,200 --> 00:54:00,100 I got you a venti chai, 1211 00:54:00,500 --> 00:54:03,600 which is what they call a large here, which I love. 1212 00:54:03,700 --> 00:54:04,800 Wow. 1213 00:54:05,300 --> 00:54:07,500 There's a transformation. 1214 00:54:07,600 --> 00:54:10,700 Yes, well, you know, I've been doing this community service for almost a month, 1215 00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:14,800 and I really feel as if it's given me some perspective on things. 1216 00:54:14,900 --> 00:54:16,900 Well, that's great. I hope that's true, Danny. 1217 00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:18,700 So let's get married. 1218 00:54:19,100 --> 00:54:21,100 Okay, I'm gonna leave now. Wait. 1219 00:54:21,200 --> 00:54:23,600 Danny, you are not taking this breakup seriously. 1220 00:54:23,700 --> 00:54:25,800 Yeah, because I don't want it. 1221 00:54:28,300 --> 00:54:29,700 Do you really think I wanted this? 1222 00:54:29,800 --> 00:54:33,400 Look. Hey. This is us. 1223 00:54:33,500 --> 00:54:35,200 This is not us. 1224 00:54:35,300 --> 00:54:38,500 We have not been us in a while, because you are not you. 1225 00:54:38,600 --> 00:54:40,400 Danny, you're not happy. 1226 00:54:40,500 --> 00:54:43,600 I've been with you seven years, and it's been getting progressively worse. 1227 00:54:43,700 --> 00:54:48,600 And it makes me feel bad about me that I can't make you happier. 1228 00:54:48,700 --> 00:54:52,800 Where am I gonna find a girl who hates all the same things I do? 1229 00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:54,300 You're so romantic. 1230 00:54:54,400 --> 00:54:55,800 Hey. Hey. 1231 00:54:57,300 --> 00:54:59,000 "You complete me. " 1232 00:55:01,700 --> 00:55:03,800 "You had me at 'hello. "' Oh, God. Danny. 1233 00:55:03,900 --> 00:55:04,900 Come on, Beth. You're not... 1234 00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:06,300 You're not hearing what I'm saying to you. 1235 00:55:06,400 --> 00:55:10,100 "I am just a girl standing in front of a boy, telling her to love her. " 1236 00:55:10,200 --> 00:55:11,300 You don't even know that one. 1237 00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:12,600 Hey. Come on. 1238 00:55:12,700 --> 00:55:14,400 "Who you gonna call?" 1239 00:55:15,400 --> 00:55:16,700 "Ghost Busters. " Okay. You know what? 1240 00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:20,900 No. I am committing to this breakup. This is the best thing for us. 1241 00:55:24,200 --> 00:55:27,000 You can call me if you need legal advice. 1242 00:55:36,800 --> 00:55:39,500 Come on! Let's kill some Cacedonians! 1243 00:55:39,600 --> 00:55:42,900 And I got a little something-something for you to wear. 1244 00:55:45,200 --> 00:55:46,500 Yeah, I'm not gonna wear this. 1245 00:55:46,600 --> 00:55:47,700 No? 1246 00:55:48,400 --> 00:55:51,700 Soon enough. Soon enough you'll want it. 1247 00:55:51,800 --> 00:55:52,800 Yeah. 1248 00:55:53,500 --> 00:55:56,700 Yo, Wheeler. What up, dog? You scoundrel. What are you doing, man? 1249 00:55:56,800 --> 00:55:59,200 Yo, Hogan's having another party tonight, man. You gotta go. 1250 00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:02,200 There's gonna be a lot of sweet-ass pussy there, girl pussy. 1251 00:56:02,300 --> 00:56:04,500 Ooh! Uh... 1252 00:56:05,700 --> 00:56:08,100 Thanks for the offer. Maybe some other time. 1253 00:56:08,200 --> 00:56:10,300 You're the king, Wheeler. You're the king. 1254 00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:13,500 Dude, don't give up that sweet-ass pussy on my account. 1255 00:56:13,600 --> 00:56:14,700 I'll go with you. 1256 00:56:14,800 --> 00:56:16,200 Okay. If you say so. 1257 00:56:16,300 --> 00:56:18,000 All right. You're my PIC, Wheeler. 1258 00:56:18,100 --> 00:56:20,000 What's a PIC? Partner in crime. 1259 00:56:20,100 --> 00:56:22,600 You're my PIC. Just don't cock-block me tonight. 1260 00:56:22,700 --> 00:56:24,400 Wouldn't dream of it. We'll have a great time. 1261 00:56:24,500 --> 00:56:26,300 We'll go to the party, we'll get some zah, 1262 00:56:26,400 --> 00:56:27,300 play some Xbox. 1263 00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:28,600 Damn straight. 1264 00:56:28,700 --> 00:56:32,900 Countrymen, smell the battle in the air! 1265 00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:35,300 Esplen, Goddess of Navalore. 1266 00:56:35,400 --> 00:56:38,800 Venus herself would be jealous. Braman, good to see you. 1267 00:56:38,900 --> 00:56:40,600 Good morrow, sir! Good morrow to you. 1268 00:56:40,700 --> 00:56:41,800 Good morning. 1269 00:56:41,900 --> 00:56:44,900 Keep your blades sharp but your wits sharper. 1270 00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:49,100 Ah! Gleebo, look at you. A visage. 1271 00:56:49,200 --> 00:56:51,400 Men, get ready to dance with swords! 1272 00:56:52,600 --> 00:56:57,800 Alack and allay! What lovely vassal has Mercury delivered upon us today 1273 00:56:57,900 --> 00:57:00,500 and in such strange and frightful attire? 1274 00:57:00,600 --> 00:57:01,700 Let us thank the gods 1275 00:57:01,800 --> 00:57:05,100 for sending us such a brave and valiant warrior to Xanthia. 1276 00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:06,300 All hail Lunesta. 1277 00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:07,700 Hail, Lunesta! 1278 00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:09,300 How's it going? Lunesta? 1279 00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:11,200 Isn't that a sleeping pill? 1280 00:57:11,300 --> 00:57:14,400 Yeah. It's 'cause I send my enemies to their eternal resting place. 1281 00:57:14,500 --> 00:57:16,700 "To sleep, perchance to dream. " 1282 00:57:16,800 --> 00:57:20,200 Well, welcome, Lunesta. We bid you good battle. 1283 00:57:20,300 --> 00:57:22,700 Prepare to have your worldview rocked. 1284 00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:24,200 Let's do this. 1285 00:57:24,300 --> 00:57:25,700 Let's do this, we shall! 1286 00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:38,300 The battle begins! 1287 00:57:55,200 --> 00:57:56,600 Turn and fight, coward! 1288 00:57:56,700 --> 00:57:59,200 You'll never catch me! 1289 00:58:04,100 --> 00:58:05,800 What have you got? 1290 00:58:06,600 --> 00:58:08,900 The Cacedonians have our kinsmen surrounded. 1291 00:58:09,000 --> 00:58:11,000 Leave them for Davith. 1292 00:58:12,900 --> 00:58:15,700 Prepare for a Glencracken! 1293 00:58:21,300 --> 00:58:23,100 Comrades! 1294 00:58:23,200 --> 00:58:24,700 Cacedonia! 1295 00:58:28,900 --> 00:58:30,900 The king is unprotected. 1296 00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:33,500 I shall approach him from the rear. 1297 00:58:35,300 --> 00:58:36,700 God save you! 1298 00:58:43,800 --> 00:58:46,600 Oh, fuck me. All right. You got it. I got you. 1299 00:58:46,700 --> 00:58:48,200 That's... You look amazing. 1300 00:58:48,300 --> 00:58:49,300 Thanks, man. 1301 00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:50,900 You're dead. 1302 00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:52,000 No way. I killed you. 1303 00:58:52,100 --> 00:58:54,500 You didn't kill me. Now exeunt this battlefield. 1304 00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:55,600 Wait a second. That's not fair. 1305 00:58:55,700 --> 00:58:56,800 Listen, you little twerp. 1306 00:58:56,900 --> 00:58:59,500 You've been slain by the mighty king. Now get lost, 1307 00:58:59,600 --> 00:59:01,400 and take some pride in dying an honorable death. 1308 00:59:01,500 --> 00:59:02,600 No, but I killed you. 1309 00:59:02,700 --> 00:59:04,700 You can't kill me after I already killed you. 1310 00:59:04,800 --> 00:59:05,900 Davith of Glencracken. 1311 00:59:06,000 --> 00:59:07,200 Yes, my liege. 1312 00:59:07,300 --> 00:59:08,300 Didst he slay me? 1313 00:59:08,400 --> 00:59:09,700 He doth not slay the king. 1314 00:59:09,800 --> 00:59:10,900 You weren't even here when it happened! 1315 00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:12,200 Was too here. 1316 00:59:12,300 --> 00:59:14,600 Everyone, I'm telling you the truth. I killed the king! 1317 00:59:14,700 --> 00:59:16,000 I... 1318 00:59:17,100 --> 00:59:18,400 Why don't you believe me? I swear... 1319 00:59:18,600 --> 00:59:19,900 Dost the Xanthian weep like a maiden? 1320 00:59:21,100 --> 00:59:22,600 Why are you laughing at me? 1321 00:59:23,600 --> 00:59:24,600 What are you doing? 1322 00:59:24,700 --> 00:59:25,900 Danny, I didn't... 1323 00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:28,300 I killed the king. Oh, my God. 1324 00:59:28,400 --> 00:59:29,700 You're lying. 1325 00:59:30,200 --> 00:59:31,800 Are you calling me a liar? You're a liar. 1326 00:59:31,900 --> 00:59:34,300 Danny, just drop it. Let's just get out of here. It doesn't matter. 1327 00:59:34,400 --> 00:59:37,600 Are you telling me a kid could slay the mighty king? 1328 00:59:37,700 --> 00:59:41,000 Not a real king, but you, yeah. 1329 00:59:41,100 --> 00:59:42,800 You're lying. I can tell. Danny, stop. 1330 00:59:42,900 --> 00:59:44,200 He killed you. Give him your hat. 1331 00:59:44,300 --> 00:59:45,400 It's a crown. 1332 00:59:45,500 --> 00:59:46,500 Give him your hat. Danny. 1333 00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:48,300 It's a crown, dude! 1334 00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:51,300 Dude! You're a liar. 1335 00:59:51,400 --> 00:59:53,400 It's a piece of plastic. 1336 00:59:54,200 --> 00:59:55,300 Okay, game over. 1337 00:59:56,600 --> 00:59:59,000 You both are disqualified from Laire forever. 1338 00:59:59,100 --> 01:00:01,200 What? Are you kidding me? 1339 01:00:05,400 --> 01:00:07,000 Augie! Augie! 1340 01:00:10,500 --> 01:00:11,700 Augie. 1341 01:00:11,800 --> 01:00:13,000 Leave me alone. 1342 01:00:13,200 --> 01:00:14,800 Look. I'm sorry. 1343 01:00:14,900 --> 01:00:17,700 No, you're not sorry. You don't care about any of this! 1344 01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:19,600 This is so unfair! 1345 01:00:23,600 --> 01:00:25,800 Hey, come on, buddy. I'm not your buddy! 1346 01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:27,700 You're only doing this because the judge is making you. 1347 01:00:27,800 --> 01:00:29,800 And you know what? That's fine if you don't give a shit, 1348 01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:32,200 but you don't have to ruin it for me, because I do give a shit! 1349 01:00:32,300 --> 01:00:34,100 I give lots of shits! 1350 01:00:37,900 --> 01:00:39,100 Look, it's gonna be okay. 1351 01:00:39,200 --> 01:00:40,600 No, it's not gonna be okay! 1352 01:00:40,700 --> 01:00:44,800 You're the worst mentor ever! No wonder your girlfriend left you, you asshole! 1353 01:00:57,400 --> 01:00:58,400 Yo, Wheeler. What's up, man? 1354 01:00:58,600 --> 01:01:00,000 Hey. What's up? 1355 01:01:00,100 --> 01:01:02,200 Okay, kid. Let's mingle. 1356 01:01:02,900 --> 01:01:04,400 Let's do it. 1357 01:01:07,200 --> 01:01:08,400 Yeah. 1358 01:01:11,600 --> 01:01:13,500 Excuse me, miss. Yes? 1359 01:01:14,900 --> 01:01:17,300 You're sexy like a chocolate strawberry. 1360 01:01:18,100 --> 01:01:19,200 Who told you to say that? 1361 01:01:19,300 --> 01:01:20,500 That's Wheeler, 1362 01:01:20,600 --> 01:01:21,900 my PIC. 1363 01:01:26,100 --> 01:01:28,000 Nice. Come on, baby! 1364 01:01:28,100 --> 01:01:29,700 Pass it. No. 1365 01:01:29,800 --> 01:01:30,800 No. No! 1366 01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:32,300 Hey. I'm gonna rock a squirt, 1367 01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:33,600 so you watch the kid for a few minutes? 1368 01:01:33,700 --> 01:01:36,400 Sure thing. You're the king, Wheeler. You're the king. 1369 01:01:37,900 --> 01:01:39,000 Yeah, okay. 1370 01:01:53,500 --> 01:01:54,600 Long line. 1371 01:01:54,700 --> 01:01:56,700 I've seen longer. 1372 01:01:56,800 --> 01:01:59,300 Have we met? I don't know. Have we? 1373 01:02:01,100 --> 01:02:02,800 Well, what do you do? 1374 01:02:02,900 --> 01:02:05,500 Well, I'm kind of on hiatus right now, 1375 01:02:05,700 --> 01:02:08,800 but my job is to dress up like a minotaur and keep kids off drugs. 1376 01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:11,800 Well, that's how I know you. I teach at Morgan Elementary. 1377 01:02:11,900 --> 01:02:14,800 That's so funny, 'cause I think elementary school is hot. 1378 01:02:19,900 --> 01:02:21,000 Hey. 1379 01:02:21,900 --> 01:02:23,700 What are you doing here? I wanted to talk to you. 1380 01:02:23,800 --> 01:02:25,300 No, I don't want to talk to you right now. 1381 01:02:25,400 --> 01:02:26,500 Hey, Danny. 1382 01:02:26,600 --> 01:02:29,700 You decided to come for dinner. Great. Come on in. 1383 01:02:29,800 --> 01:02:32,200 Thanks. God damn it! 1384 01:02:34,100 --> 01:02:35,900 What's up his cooz? 1385 01:02:40,400 --> 01:02:42,200 I should take a piss more often. 1386 01:02:44,200 --> 01:02:45,700 I don't know. I don't got a raincoat. 1387 01:02:45,900 --> 01:02:48,300 Don't worry. I'm very pro-choice. 1388 01:02:48,500 --> 01:02:49,800 Okay. 1389 01:02:50,200 --> 01:02:51,900 God, I'm really kicking your ass. 1390 01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:53,300 That's because this is soccer. 1391 01:02:53,400 --> 01:02:54,700 Black folks don't play soccer. 1392 01:02:54,800 --> 01:02:56,300 That guy's black. Right there. 1393 01:02:59,300 --> 01:03:01,600 You sit down, young man. 1394 01:03:01,700 --> 01:03:04,200 You have been a bad boy! 1395 01:03:04,300 --> 01:03:05,500 I've been bad. 1396 01:03:05,600 --> 01:03:07,300 And now you're gonna have to stay after class. 1397 01:03:07,400 --> 01:03:09,200 Oh, man. Look. 1398 01:03:09,300 --> 01:03:12,100 Even though this is one of my top four all-time fantasies, I can't, okay? 1399 01:03:12,200 --> 01:03:14,800 I want to, but I gotta go find my friend. 1400 01:03:15,500 --> 01:03:16,800 Oh, yeah? 1401 01:03:17,700 --> 01:03:18,800 You sure? 1402 01:03:19,300 --> 01:03:20,700 Oh, my God. 1403 01:03:21,500 --> 01:03:23,400 Do what you need to do. 1404 01:03:23,500 --> 01:03:25,800 He'll be fine. He's 10. Come here. 1405 01:03:25,900 --> 01:03:26,900 Let's go. 1406 01:03:28,800 --> 01:03:29,300 Uh-oh! 1407 01:03:29,400 --> 01:03:30,900 This is how it ends. 1408 01:03:31,000 --> 01:03:32,600 Game winner! I win! 1409 01:03:32,700 --> 01:03:33,800 Let's go, Michael. 1410 01:03:33,900 --> 01:03:35,300 Man, forget you, man. 1411 01:03:35,400 --> 01:03:37,000 That's booty, son. 1412 01:03:37,100 --> 01:03:38,300 Let's go. I'm ready. 1413 01:03:39,700 --> 01:03:43,000 They don't call me the king of this game for nothing! 1414 01:03:47,300 --> 01:03:49,600 Wheeler, where you at? 1415 01:03:54,800 --> 01:03:57,700 Wheeler? Wheeler. Wheeler. 1416 01:03:58,100 --> 01:03:59,100 Wheeler. 1417 01:04:01,700 --> 01:04:04,400 So, Danny, you must be glad that you're almost done 1418 01:04:04,500 --> 01:04:07,200 with your required time with Augie. 1419 01:04:08,400 --> 01:04:10,600 How much time do you have left? 1420 01:04:11,200 --> 01:04:13,100 Eleven, 12 hours or so. 1421 01:04:13,200 --> 01:04:15,000 Jeez, Augie. You're acting like your goldfish died. 1422 01:04:15,100 --> 01:04:17,000 I don't have a goldfish, Jim. You know what I mean. 1423 01:04:17,200 --> 01:04:20,800 You're acting like as if you had a goldfish and it died. 1424 01:04:21,800 --> 01:04:24,400 Augie kind of got screwed over today. 1425 01:04:24,500 --> 01:04:25,700 I killed the king, Mom. 1426 01:04:25,800 --> 01:04:27,200 Okay. He killed the king. 1427 01:04:27,300 --> 01:04:29,500 All right. All right. Don't encourage him. He did kill the king. 1428 01:04:29,600 --> 01:04:31,700 But he was lying to everyone and told everyone that he killed me. 1429 01:04:31,800 --> 01:04:33,800 I don't wanna hear any more about your Dungeons & Dragons 1430 01:04:33,900 --> 01:04:35,200 or your fruity Cocoa Puffs... 1431 01:04:35,300 --> 01:04:36,800 It's all fairyland with him. 1432 01:04:36,900 --> 01:04:39,800 We're trying to keep it... We're trying to keep it real. 1433 01:04:39,900 --> 01:04:42,100 The Goddess of Navalore saw me cry, Mom. 1434 01:04:42,200 --> 01:04:44,600 Hey, Augie, when I was a little kid, I accidentally 1435 01:04:44,700 --> 01:04:46,800 crapped my pants in front of a girl I liked, 1436 01:04:46,900 --> 01:04:49,100 so I feel your pain. 1437 01:04:49,200 --> 01:04:52,400 Well, he likes girls. That's a good thing. That's a surprise to me. 1438 01:04:52,600 --> 01:04:54,400 Doesn't matter anyway. He got me kicked out. 1439 01:04:54,500 --> 01:04:56,200 What? What? You're kidding me. 1440 01:04:56,300 --> 01:04:57,300 They can kick you out? 1441 01:04:57,400 --> 01:04:58,900 Yeah, I'm banned. This is a great thing. 1442 01:04:59,000 --> 01:05:00,300 Way to go, big guy. Does this mean 1443 01:05:00,400 --> 01:05:01,500 we can finally get rid of those boots 1444 01:05:01,600 --> 01:05:05,700 and that God-awful cape that you made out of my tablecloth? I'm so sick of this. 1445 01:05:05,800 --> 01:05:06,900 I'll burn them up in a... 1446 01:05:07,000 --> 01:05:09,000 We'll have a bonfire. We'll make a thing of it. 1447 01:05:09,100 --> 01:05:11,200 Don't you want him to wear what makes him happy? 1448 01:05:12,600 --> 01:05:13,600 Yes. Yes, I do. Yes. 1449 01:05:13,700 --> 01:05:16,200 You know when I want him to wear what makes him happy? 1450 01:05:16,300 --> 01:05:19,800 On October 31st. Halloween, go nuts. 1451 01:05:19,900 --> 01:05:21,200 Wear lipstick. I don't care. 1452 01:05:21,300 --> 01:05:22,500 Yeah. Yeah. 1453 01:05:22,600 --> 01:05:24,400 You know, dress like a nun. Sure. 1454 01:05:24,500 --> 01:05:25,800 We're gonna have a celebration 1455 01:05:25,900 --> 01:05:28,900 to celebrate you joining the rest of the world. 1456 01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:31,000 Becoming a normal kid. He is a normal kid. 1457 01:05:31,100 --> 01:05:32,800 You think he's normal? Yeah, I think he's normal. 1458 01:05:32,900 --> 01:05:34,400 You think he's normal. He's normal. 1459 01:05:34,500 --> 01:05:35,500 When I was his age, 1460 01:05:35,600 --> 01:05:38,700 I had four, five girlfriends at one time. Didn't I tell you that? 1461 01:05:38,800 --> 01:05:40,500 He was fucking his cousin. 1462 01:05:40,600 --> 01:05:42,100 I wasn't fucking my cousin. I... 1463 01:05:42,200 --> 01:05:44,500 We kissed, because I didn't know she was my cousin, 1464 01:05:44,600 --> 01:05:48,200 but when I found out, I stopped kissing her, but I fucked her friends. 1465 01:05:48,300 --> 01:05:50,200 I fucked my cousin's friends. 1466 01:05:50,300 --> 01:05:53,600 I think that Augie is just having kind of a tough time in life, 1467 01:05:53,700 --> 01:05:55,300 which sounds pretty normal to me. Life is tough. 1468 01:05:55,400 --> 01:05:57,200 It is tough. But you know what? This is my point. 1469 01:05:57,400 --> 01:06:00,200 It's tougher when you... With parents like you? 1470 01:06:00,300 --> 01:06:02,800 Excuse me? What did you just say? 1471 01:06:03,000 --> 01:06:06,300 I said it is tough, but I think it's tougher with parents like you. 1472 01:06:06,400 --> 01:06:07,600 I thought that's what you just said. 1473 01:06:07,700 --> 01:06:08,900 I don't know how you do it, kid. 1474 01:06:09,000 --> 01:06:12,000 I mean, I thought my life sucked. Jesus Christ, I really feel for you. 1475 01:06:12,100 --> 01:06:13,100 Okay. That's enough. 1476 01:06:13,200 --> 01:06:14,500 Don't listen to them, all right? 1477 01:06:14,600 --> 01:06:17,000 Do what makes you happy. You want to wear a cape? Wear a cape. 1478 01:06:17,100 --> 01:06:18,800 You want to wear a suit of armor? Who gives a shit? 1479 01:06:18,900 --> 01:06:21,300 You know what? I would never have invited you over for moussaka 1480 01:06:21,400 --> 01:06:24,800 if I'd known you were gonna be such a prick. Excuse me. 1481 01:06:24,900 --> 01:06:26,200 Augie, screw them. 1482 01:06:26,300 --> 01:06:27,400 Do what makes you happy. Hey. Whoa! 1483 01:06:27,500 --> 01:06:30,200 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Do what makes you happy. Hey, buddy... 1484 01:06:30,300 --> 01:06:31,500 I'd like you to leave now, please. 1485 01:06:31,600 --> 01:06:32,900 I figure you're probably 1486 01:06:33,000 --> 01:06:34,700 not gonna sign my hours sheet now. 1487 01:06:34,900 --> 01:06:35,800 Go fuck yourself. 1488 01:06:36,000 --> 01:06:38,700 That's what I thought. Hey, Augie, I'm sorry. 1489 01:06:38,800 --> 01:06:40,400 Get the hell out. 1490 01:06:41,900 --> 01:06:44,500 I'd be psyched if he was my kid. Please. 1491 01:06:47,500 --> 01:06:48,700 And you know what, sweetheart? 1492 01:06:48,800 --> 01:06:51,000 It's not that we're not psyched that you're our kid. 1493 01:06:51,100 --> 01:06:54,100 We're psyched. I'm so psyched, I can't stand it. 1494 01:06:54,200 --> 01:06:56,200 Your mom's psyched that you're her kid. 1495 01:06:56,300 --> 01:06:58,500 May I please be excused, Mom? 1496 01:07:13,100 --> 01:07:14,600 Hey. Where's Ronnie? 1497 01:07:14,700 --> 01:07:16,100 Who's Ronnie, dude? 1498 01:07:16,200 --> 01:07:18,600 Oh, shit. Ronnie! 1499 01:07:19,200 --> 01:07:20,400 Ronnie. 1500 01:07:22,100 --> 01:07:24,200 What's up, man? Hey. How you doing? 1501 01:07:24,300 --> 01:07:25,800 Ro-Ro. 1502 01:07:26,900 --> 01:07:28,900 Anybody see the little kid I was with? 1503 01:07:31,200 --> 01:07:32,900 This is Karen, Ronnie's mother. 1504 01:07:33,000 --> 01:07:35,500 Ronnie was supposed to be home a few hours ago. 1505 01:07:36,800 --> 01:07:37,800 This is Karen again. 1506 01:07:37,900 --> 01:07:41,500 Can you guys please call me and let me know where you are? 1507 01:07:42,100 --> 01:07:46,300 Ronnie just got in. He walked all the way home. What the hell... 1508 01:07:46,500 --> 01:07:47,000 You're out. Look... 1509 01:07:47,000 --> 01:07:47,600 You're out. Look... 1510 01:07:47,700 --> 01:07:50,300 No, no, no, no. It's over. You blew it. It's done. Okay? 1511 01:07:50,400 --> 01:07:53,200 I hear what you're saying. We're very sorry, but we're 11 hours short. 1512 01:07:53,400 --> 01:07:56,100 And you're gonna stay 11 hours short, okay? I don't know. 1513 01:07:56,200 --> 01:07:58,900 Parents don't want you hanging around with their kids for some reason. 1514 01:07:59,000 --> 01:08:02,100 So you BSed a BSer. 1515 01:08:02,200 --> 01:08:06,000 Good for you! I hope you feel good about yourself, God damn it! 1516 01:08:07,600 --> 01:08:10,600 You know, I could be back in New York 1517 01:08:10,700 --> 01:08:13,700 doing cocaine in the Village, but I'm not. 1518 01:08:14,900 --> 01:08:17,700 You know why? Kids come first. 1519 01:08:18,900 --> 01:08:20,400 They don't come first for you, do they? 1520 01:08:20,500 --> 01:08:23,000 They come second to your selfishness. 1521 01:08:23,800 --> 01:08:26,200 So why don't you two guys go home, 1522 01:08:26,300 --> 01:08:28,600 put down some lines of selfishness, 1523 01:08:28,700 --> 01:08:30,500 which is your blow, 1524 01:08:31,100 --> 01:08:34,400 close the shades, take the phone off the hook, 1525 01:08:34,500 --> 01:08:37,000 grab a straw and snort? 1526 01:08:37,100 --> 01:08:40,200 And don't expect me to testify on your behalf. 1527 01:08:40,900 --> 01:08:43,300 You're not Sturdy Wings material. 1528 01:08:51,100 --> 01:08:53,000 I think you guys are gonna have to go to jail. 1529 01:08:53,100 --> 01:08:54,300 The only thing we can do now 1530 01:08:54,400 --> 01:08:57,700 is make a case at the hearing that you did your best. 1531 01:08:57,800 --> 01:08:59,800 It's gonna take some serious lawyering on my part. 1532 01:09:00,000 --> 01:09:03,000 Yeah. Beth, please. Lawyer the shit out of it. 1533 01:09:03,100 --> 01:09:05,500 I just can't promise anything. 1534 01:09:05,600 --> 01:09:07,200 Yes, Wheeler? Question. 1535 01:09:07,300 --> 01:09:09,700 Maybe a stupid one, but I'm just spit-balling here. 1536 01:09:09,800 --> 01:09:12,100 The Get Out of Jail Free card, 1537 01:09:12,200 --> 01:09:14,900 is that based on something that exists or... 1538 01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:17,400 That wasn't a stupid question. 1539 01:09:17,600 --> 01:09:18,600 That's real. 1540 01:09:18,700 --> 01:09:19,900 It's real in the game of Monopoly. 1541 01:09:20,100 --> 01:09:22,400 Yeah, it's based on true events. 1542 01:09:23,000 --> 01:09:24,300 How... What do you mean? 1543 01:09:24,400 --> 01:09:25,500 Chance. 1544 01:09:34,200 --> 01:09:35,300 I can't believe we're going to jail. 1545 01:09:35,400 --> 01:09:36,400 Believe it. 1546 01:09:36,500 --> 01:09:38,300 Hey, maybe you'll roll doubles. You know? 1547 01:09:38,400 --> 01:09:39,600 If not, you just miss three turns. 1548 01:09:39,700 --> 01:09:40,800 Game face, bro. 1549 01:09:40,900 --> 01:09:42,600 I told you. Game face. 1550 01:09:42,700 --> 01:09:44,400 Enough with the game face, all right? 1551 01:09:44,500 --> 01:09:45,900 This isn't beach volleyball. 1552 01:09:46,000 --> 01:09:49,300 Is it not? Because, if you think about it, 1553 01:09:49,400 --> 01:09:52,600 the net is like your goals in life, and you are the ball. 1554 01:09:52,700 --> 01:09:55,200 And you can spike the ball down, or you, over the net. 1555 01:09:55,300 --> 01:09:57,800 Shut up, shut up, shut up. Then you go into sidelines. 1556 01:09:58,000 --> 01:09:58,900 It's bad enough I'm going to jail. 1557 01:09:59,100 --> 01:10:00,900 I can't take it anymore with you yapping away. 1558 01:10:01,000 --> 01:10:02,000 Yap, yap, yip, yip. 1559 01:10:02,100 --> 01:10:03,900 "Bang your drum, bro. " Maybe I should be like you. 1560 01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:06,500 "I hate myself, yet I'm better than everyone. " 1561 01:10:06,600 --> 01:10:08,500 You're one to talk. You took a 10-year-old to a party 1562 01:10:08,600 --> 01:10:10,500 and left him so you could go get a blow job. 1563 01:10:10,600 --> 01:10:11,700 Hey. 1564 01:10:11,800 --> 01:10:13,300 It wasn't a blow job. We fucked. 1565 01:10:13,400 --> 01:10:15,400 Please! Watch your language! 1566 01:10:15,500 --> 01:10:17,000 Sorry. Sorry. 1567 01:10:18,300 --> 01:10:20,300 You are an S- H-I-T-T-Y friend. 1568 01:10:20,400 --> 01:10:22,000 He can spell. 1569 01:10:23,700 --> 01:10:25,400 I'm not your friend. 1570 01:10:26,100 --> 01:10:27,100 Oh. 1571 01:10:27,300 --> 01:10:28,800 You wanna go? 1572 01:10:31,800 --> 01:10:32,800 Stop it! 1573 01:10:38,400 --> 01:10:41,300 There you go, Danny. Now you got no friends. 1574 01:10:44,300 --> 01:10:45,500 Sorry. 1575 01:10:50,500 --> 01:10:52,900 Hello? Hey, Ro-Ro. It's Wheeler. 1576 01:11:41,000 --> 01:11:42,700 So you guys have to be at the courthouse 1577 01:11:42,800 --> 01:11:44,500 no later than 3:00 p. m., okay? 1578 01:11:44,600 --> 01:11:45,600 All right. 1579 01:11:45,700 --> 01:11:47,900 Please, do not be late. No. I know. 1580 01:11:48,000 --> 01:11:49,600 No, I'll be there. 1581 01:12:39,500 --> 01:12:42,000 You don't always have to get breakfast this time of day. 1582 01:12:43,900 --> 01:12:45,100 Hiya, King. 1583 01:12:45,200 --> 01:12:46,700 No, no, no. I don't mean to cause trouble. 1584 01:12:46,800 --> 01:12:49,200 I just wanted to come by and apologize 1585 01:12:49,300 --> 01:12:51,400 for the way that I behaved last time. 1586 01:12:51,500 --> 01:12:56,500 I... I lost my temper when I saw you last, and that was regrettable. 1587 01:12:56,600 --> 01:12:59,000 Not to mention highly illegal, you jackanape. 1588 01:13:00,200 --> 01:13:02,800 I know. It's just that my... Denver omelet? 1589 01:13:02,900 --> 01:13:05,000 Right here. Thank you. 1590 01:13:06,200 --> 01:13:08,100 It's just my friend was upset, you see, 1591 01:13:08,200 --> 01:13:10,400 and he thought he'd stabbed you. 1592 01:13:10,500 --> 01:13:12,700 He hadn't. Of course he hadn't. 1593 01:13:13,500 --> 01:13:14,500 Go on. 1594 01:13:14,600 --> 01:13:15,700 It's just that... 1595 01:13:17,100 --> 01:13:21,000 I accidentally cast an unbreakable madness spell on him. 1596 01:13:22,500 --> 01:13:24,500 Well, that was stupid. I know, right? 1597 01:13:24,600 --> 01:13:25,800 I didn't mean to. 1598 01:13:25,900 --> 01:13:27,100 You guys are reckless out there. 1599 01:13:27,200 --> 01:13:30,700 Yeah. Unsafe. Okay, I had a protection spell on me. All right? 1600 01:13:30,800 --> 01:13:33,600 But it had faded off when you touched me, so don't flatter yourself 1601 01:13:33,700 --> 01:13:35,200 thinking you can come back at me, okay, 1602 01:13:35,300 --> 01:13:38,000 'cause I would love to see you penetrate me again. 1603 01:13:38,100 --> 01:13:39,800 Anyway, I was just wondering 1604 01:13:39,900 --> 01:13:42,100 if maybe you could see it in your heart 1605 01:13:42,200 --> 01:13:45,500 to let him fight today on the battlefield. 1606 01:13:45,600 --> 01:13:48,200 He loves Laire more than anything. 1607 01:13:48,300 --> 01:13:51,600 He's just a kid, but he's got the heart of a lion... 1608 01:13:52,300 --> 01:13:53,300 Hmm. 1609 01:13:54,700 --> 01:13:56,200 ...and the eye of the tiger. 1610 01:13:56,300 --> 01:13:57,300 Hmm. 1611 01:13:57,400 --> 01:13:58,700 More coffee? 1612 01:13:58,800 --> 01:13:59,900 No, I'm decaf. 1613 01:14:00,000 --> 01:14:01,200 Okay. 1614 01:14:01,300 --> 01:14:02,700 If he be so brave, 1615 01:14:02,800 --> 01:14:05,800 why doth he not show his face here today? 1616 01:14:05,900 --> 01:14:07,800 Do you fight all his battles? 1617 01:14:07,900 --> 01:14:08,900 Hmm. 1618 01:14:11,000 --> 01:14:13,000 He knows not I'm here. 1619 01:14:13,100 --> 01:14:14,100 Hmm. 1620 01:14:14,200 --> 01:14:17,800 He hath too much pride. 1621 01:14:18,400 --> 01:14:19,400 Hmm. 1622 01:14:22,600 --> 01:14:25,800 Magic healing potion. Wizards... 1623 01:14:26,900 --> 01:14:28,500 How's it going? 1624 01:14:31,300 --> 01:14:33,000 Tell your kinsman 1625 01:14:35,800 --> 01:14:38,400 we shall see him on the battlefield today. 1626 01:14:38,500 --> 01:14:40,900 Thank you. Thank you, noble king. 1627 01:14:44,000 --> 01:14:45,000 Really? 1628 01:14:45,100 --> 01:14:46,100 Mmm-hmm. 1629 01:14:46,700 --> 01:14:48,500 You know you want it. 1630 01:14:53,100 --> 01:14:55,300 Now exit my Burger Hole, boy. 1631 01:14:56,600 --> 01:15:00,000 Make it known to the Xanthians that if they let Augie fight with them, 1632 01:15:00,100 --> 01:15:03,500 we'll destroy each and every one of them, without mercy, 1633 01:15:03,600 --> 01:15:06,000 before the first apple-cider break. 1634 01:15:16,000 --> 01:15:18,400 Hey, what's up, my PIC? 1635 01:15:25,000 --> 01:15:27,600 Ronnie. Ronnie. 1636 01:15:30,200 --> 01:15:32,400 To listen to me 1637 01:15:32,500 --> 01:15:36,700 and listen good. I am a very animalistic woman, 1638 01:15:36,800 --> 01:15:38,900 a very animalistic woman, 1639 01:15:39,000 --> 01:15:43,400 and when it comes to my son, I am a lioness, 1640 01:15:43,500 --> 01:15:44,900 a black Sheba. 1641 01:15:45,000 --> 01:15:46,600 Black Sheba. Yeah, but listen... 1642 01:15:46,700 --> 01:15:47,800 I am a lioness, 1643 01:15:47,900 --> 01:15:50,600 and that boy is my cub, 1644 01:15:50,700 --> 01:15:54,700 and if you let anything bad happen to my cub, 1645 01:15:54,800 --> 01:15:59,100 I will claw your ass up until you shit sideways. 1646 01:15:59,200 --> 01:16:01,200 Do you understand? Yes. 1647 01:16:01,400 --> 01:16:04,000 You'll tear me up so bad that when I shit, it'll come out sideways. 1648 01:16:04,100 --> 01:16:05,900 I understand. Okay. 1649 01:16:08,600 --> 01:16:10,300 It's just, Ronnie looks up to you. Okay? 1650 01:16:10,400 --> 01:16:12,800 He doesn't need another man leaving him behind. 1651 01:16:12,900 --> 01:16:15,100 I know. I know. I fucked up, okay? 1652 01:16:15,200 --> 01:16:17,200 I... The kid acts so tough, 1653 01:16:17,300 --> 01:16:19,100 I didn't know I could hurt him, you know? 1654 01:16:19,200 --> 01:16:21,100 I'm determined to make it up to him. All right? 1655 01:16:21,200 --> 01:16:25,100 What I'm trying to say is that when I get out of prison, 1656 01:16:25,200 --> 01:16:27,500 could I hang out with your 10-year-old son? 1657 01:16:27,600 --> 01:16:30,600 Well, you're gonna have to ask him yourself. 1658 01:16:32,900 --> 01:16:34,600 Hey. Ronnie. 1659 01:16:35,600 --> 01:16:36,500 Um... 1660 01:16:37,600 --> 01:16:39,700 Look. I'm sorry, okay? 1661 01:16:40,800 --> 01:16:42,700 I know I don't deserve it, 1662 01:16:42,800 --> 01:16:46,300 but Sturdy Wings or no Sturdy Wings, I want to be your Big. 1663 01:16:49,300 --> 01:16:53,700 Okay. I'm your Little, and you're my Big. I like that. 1664 01:16:56,800 --> 01:16:58,900 Can I tell you how deeply, deeply I regret this situation with this latest Big? 1665 01:16:59,000 --> 01:17:01,100 Can I tell you how deeply, deeply I regret this situation with this latest Big? 1666 01:17:01,200 --> 01:17:04,800 It's completely unacceptable, and at Sturdy Wings, 1667 01:17:04,900 --> 01:17:06,200 it's not how we roll. 1668 01:17:06,300 --> 01:17:10,000 So I'm going to guarantee you that Mr. Gary 1669 01:17:10,800 --> 01:17:14,900 is our most experienced and dependable volunteer. 1670 01:17:15,000 --> 01:17:16,500 Let me put it this way. 1671 01:17:16,600 --> 01:17:19,100 If I had a nickel for every year that I've been with Sturdy Wings, 1672 01:17:19,200 --> 01:17:22,200 I would have enough money to 1673 01:17:22,300 --> 01:17:23,800 play a game of Pac-Man. 1674 01:17:24,800 --> 01:17:25,900 Been five years. 1675 01:17:26,000 --> 01:17:28,400 And if I stay with Sturdy Wings for another five years, 1676 01:17:28,500 --> 01:17:30,900 then I'll have enough for another round. 1677 01:17:31,000 --> 01:17:32,400 Another round of Pac-Man. Right. 1678 01:17:32,500 --> 01:17:35,300 Five cents for every year, times five... 1679 01:17:35,400 --> 01:17:36,400 That's 25. We get it. 1680 01:17:36,500 --> 01:17:37,900 That's 25 cents. That's a quarter. 1681 01:17:38,000 --> 01:17:40,300 But the Pac-Man here, I think it's 50 cents. 1682 01:17:44,100 --> 01:17:46,300 What are you doing here? I'm breaking you out. 1683 01:17:46,400 --> 01:17:48,800 There's a nation at war. Are you in? 1684 01:17:48,900 --> 01:17:50,300 Aye. 1685 01:17:50,400 --> 01:17:52,700 Aye... I am, too. Come on. 1686 01:17:52,800 --> 01:17:55,200 Wheeler hasn't called me back. Are you guys gonna make it or what? 1687 01:17:55,400 --> 01:17:58,000 I don't know, Beth. I mean, I can't speak for Wheeler, but I'll be there. 1688 01:17:58,100 --> 01:18:00,300 You gotta promise me. Yeah, I promise. I just... 1689 01:18:00,400 --> 01:18:02,300 I'm helping Augie with something, and then I'm on my way, okay? 1690 01:18:02,400 --> 01:18:04,900 County courthouse, 3:00. All right. 1691 01:18:06,400 --> 01:18:09,000 Man, I'm gonna kick some Cacedonian ass. 1692 01:18:09,100 --> 01:18:10,600 Yeah, totally. 1693 01:18:12,000 --> 01:18:13,200 It's Artonius. 1694 01:18:13,300 --> 01:18:14,800 Bid him good morrow. 1695 01:18:14,900 --> 01:18:16,600 Greetings, Artonius. 1696 01:18:16,700 --> 01:18:18,300 Get ready for some pain. 1697 01:18:18,700 --> 01:18:21,500 What? What? Wait. No, no, no. No, you can't do that. 1698 01:18:21,600 --> 01:18:23,400 You're out of Xanthia. What are you talking about? 1699 01:18:23,500 --> 01:18:24,900 Sorry, Blufgan. 1700 01:18:25,000 --> 01:18:26,300 Forget it, Danny. 1701 01:18:27,400 --> 01:18:29,000 They said I'm too much of a liability. 1702 01:18:29,200 --> 01:18:31,700 They're kicking me out of Xanthia. 1703 01:18:31,800 --> 01:18:33,700 What? Are you serious? 1704 01:18:35,100 --> 01:18:36,700 Screw them. We'll start our own country. 1705 01:18:36,800 --> 01:18:37,800 We can't. 1706 01:18:38,000 --> 01:18:41,200 All my costumes have the same colors and same symbols as Xanthia. 1707 01:18:41,300 --> 01:18:43,700 And besides, you can't start a country with two people. 1708 01:18:43,800 --> 01:18:46,400 No? What's the minimum? 1709 01:18:50,500 --> 01:18:51,800 Where you going? 1710 01:18:52,200 --> 01:18:53,500 You can't go anywhere. Come on. 1711 01:18:54,700 --> 01:18:56,200 What do you want, asshole? 1712 01:18:56,300 --> 01:18:58,500 Actually, we need your help. 1713 01:19:39,800 --> 01:19:42,300 I can't believe my eyes. 1714 01:19:42,500 --> 01:19:44,400 A minotaur! 1715 01:20:07,000 --> 01:20:08,300 Augie? 1716 01:20:09,000 --> 01:20:10,200 Where are you? 1717 01:20:15,400 --> 01:20:16,800 Hear he, hear he. 1718 01:20:17,600 --> 01:20:21,000 This is a battle to the last man standing, 1719 01:20:21,300 --> 01:20:24,100 and the victor shall rule the realm. 1720 01:20:24,200 --> 01:20:28,000 There'll be no magical rejuvenation powder today. 1721 01:20:28,100 --> 01:20:31,100 Instead, if you are killed, you are done! 1722 01:20:31,800 --> 01:20:35,300 Fight well, and may the best country win! 1723 01:20:38,500 --> 01:20:40,900 Stay close, like cotton on a lamb. 1724 01:20:43,400 --> 01:20:46,500 Brothers and sisters of the new nation of Kiss-My-Anthia, 1725 01:20:46,700 --> 01:20:51,200 I stand here before you not as the Augie Farks you once knew. 1726 01:20:51,300 --> 01:20:54,300 Today I stand before you a warrior! 1727 01:20:54,900 --> 01:20:56,300 For time eternal, 1728 01:20:56,400 --> 01:20:59,300 I have let the naysayers of this world bring me down. 1729 01:20:59,400 --> 01:21:02,300 They used to say, "You shouldn't fight. 1730 01:21:02,400 --> 01:21:04,800 "You should be embarrassed of yourself. 1731 01:21:04,900 --> 01:21:07,300 "You look like a young Marvin Hamlisch. " 1732 01:21:07,400 --> 01:21:09,800 Well, you know what I say to those naysayers? 1733 01:21:09,900 --> 01:21:12,800 I say nay! I will fight! 1734 01:21:12,900 --> 01:21:14,500 I will not be embarrassed! 1735 01:21:14,600 --> 01:21:16,800 Who the fuck is Marvin Hamlisch? 1736 01:21:16,900 --> 01:21:18,100 He wrote the music to The Sting. 1737 01:21:18,300 --> 01:21:19,400 That's a good movie. 1738 01:21:19,600 --> 01:21:21,200 But I don't care, 1739 01:21:21,700 --> 01:21:24,500 'cause in this moment, doing what I love, 1740 01:21:24,600 --> 01:21:26,500 I know I have already won. 1741 01:21:26,600 --> 01:21:30,200 An honorable, albeit court-appointed, friend once said to me, 1742 01:21:30,300 --> 01:21:32,000 "Do what makes you happy. " 1743 01:21:32,100 --> 01:21:36,500 And nothing would make me happier than to fight alongside you brave men. 1744 01:21:37,400 --> 01:21:39,400 When the elders speak of this day, 1745 01:21:39,500 --> 01:21:41,900 they will speak of the courage of Kiss-My-Anthia. 1746 01:21:42,000 --> 01:21:43,600 Of the Spaceman. 1747 01:21:45,300 --> 01:21:46,600 The Demon. 1748 01:21:48,300 --> 01:21:49,800 The Starchild. 1749 01:21:51,200 --> 01:21:52,900 And me, the Cat! 1750 01:21:53,000 --> 01:21:55,900 So let us raise our swords in victory, 1751 01:21:56,000 --> 01:21:57,900 crank this shit up to 11, 1752 01:21:58,000 --> 01:22:00,200 and let's rip this realm a new asshole! 1753 01:22:00,300 --> 01:22:01,300 Yeah! 1754 01:22:01,400 --> 01:22:03,700 Yeah! What the fuck are we talking about? 1755 01:22:03,800 --> 01:22:07,900 May Xanthia and Kiss-My-Anthia be allies. 1756 01:22:08,000 --> 01:22:12,600 King Argotron be damned. We fight with you. 1757 01:22:12,700 --> 01:22:14,800 Thank you, friends. Your honor is great. 1758 01:22:14,900 --> 01:22:18,400 Come. Let us gingerly touch our tips. 1759 01:22:19,800 --> 01:22:21,000 Game on! 1760 01:22:21,000 --> 01:22:22,100 Game on! 1761 01:22:38,100 --> 01:22:39,400 Yeah! 1762 01:22:48,300 --> 01:22:51,100 Once we pass this point, there's no turning back. 1763 01:22:51,200 --> 01:22:52,800 It's a fight to the death! 1764 01:22:52,900 --> 01:22:54,800 About time! Let's rip this shit up! 1765 01:22:54,900 --> 01:22:56,600 Yeah! Yeah! 1766 01:22:59,200 --> 01:23:01,700 Yeah. Oh, snap! No! 1767 01:23:01,800 --> 01:23:03,400 Come on. No! 1768 01:23:04,700 --> 01:23:07,200 Augie, what the hell? Your boys just killed me! 1769 01:23:07,300 --> 01:23:10,900 Retreat! Go! Like the leopard! Like the leopard! 1770 01:23:12,900 --> 01:23:14,500 Oh, Saint Venise! 1771 01:23:18,000 --> 01:23:19,700 Et tu, you two? 1772 01:23:20,900 --> 01:23:22,300 What the hell's going on? 1773 01:23:22,400 --> 01:23:25,000 They killed you, so you have to die an honorable and noble death. 1774 01:23:25,100 --> 01:23:27,000 Okay. I think I can do that. 1775 01:23:36,500 --> 01:23:38,100 Not bad. Blufgan. 1776 01:23:38,200 --> 01:23:39,800 Kuzzik. 1777 01:23:39,900 --> 01:23:41,600 Fulfill your destiny, Blufgan. 1778 01:23:41,700 --> 01:23:42,800 Yes. Kill the king. 1779 01:23:42,900 --> 01:23:44,100 I will. Kill the king. 1780 01:23:44,200 --> 01:23:45,300 I will, Kuzzik! 1781 01:23:45,400 --> 01:23:46,800 Go. Go. 1782 01:23:47,300 --> 01:23:49,200 Go. Go. 1783 01:23:55,000 --> 01:23:57,500 Take that, you lily-livered coward! 1784 01:23:59,200 --> 01:24:01,100 Hey. Hey. Where the hell are you guys? 1785 01:24:01,200 --> 01:24:02,700 I cannot stall any longer. 1786 01:24:02,800 --> 01:24:05,100 I'm at Jefferson Park. Look. I can't talk right now. 1787 01:24:05,200 --> 01:24:08,000 I'm in the middle of battling a Cacedonian. 1788 01:24:08,100 --> 01:24:09,900 Beth, I gotta help Augie. I gotta go. 1789 01:24:10,000 --> 01:24:11,700 Fucking Cacedonian ass. 1790 01:24:11,800 --> 01:24:14,800 What? Hello. What? 1791 01:24:21,000 --> 01:24:22,300 Bitch! 1792 01:24:22,400 --> 01:24:24,200 Retreat to the castle! 1793 01:24:28,000 --> 01:24:30,300 Long live Xanthia! 1794 01:24:43,700 --> 01:24:45,600 You lost an arm, honey! 1795 01:24:48,300 --> 01:24:49,800 Nice one, dude. 1796 01:24:50,500 --> 01:24:52,500 Hey, Esplen. Thanks. 1797 01:24:57,600 --> 01:25:00,100 Okay. See you. See you. 1798 01:25:02,700 --> 01:25:04,400 Die, coward! 1799 01:25:04,500 --> 01:25:06,400 Cacedonia is to rule forever! 1800 01:25:08,300 --> 01:25:10,100 What a scene. 1801 01:25:23,300 --> 01:25:26,100 Okay. We lost a man, but we can still do this. 1802 01:25:26,200 --> 01:25:28,700 It's not the manpower. It's the power of the man. 1803 01:25:28,800 --> 01:25:30,400 Shit, this kid really jacks you up. 1804 01:25:30,500 --> 01:25:32,300 I want you to go left through these trees. 1805 01:25:32,400 --> 01:25:33,500 His lackeys are pretty strong, 1806 01:25:33,600 --> 01:25:35,800 but Davith of Glencracken is the one you want. 1807 01:25:35,900 --> 01:25:38,100 He's the one built like a brick shithouse. 1808 01:25:40,000 --> 01:25:41,300 Leave it to us, Augie. 1809 01:25:41,400 --> 01:25:43,200 Good luck, mi amigos! 1810 01:25:44,900 --> 01:25:48,800 Thanks for doing this. I'm doing it for the kids, not for you. 1811 01:26:01,100 --> 01:26:02,400 Come on. 1812 01:26:09,700 --> 01:26:12,000 Feel the steel of my hammer! 1813 01:26:19,300 --> 01:26:21,800 Hey, hey! Okay! Okay! I'm dead! I'm dead! 1814 01:26:21,900 --> 01:26:24,000 Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. It's fun though, right? 1815 01:26:24,100 --> 01:26:25,900 It's a blast. It's contagious. I know. 1816 01:26:26,000 --> 01:26:27,600 Totally. Come back next year. 1817 01:26:27,700 --> 01:26:28,900 I will. Thanks. Okay. 1818 01:26:29,000 --> 01:26:30,300 We need people. Give me your e-mail. 1819 01:26:38,900 --> 01:26:41,400 Dude, you saved my life. 1820 01:26:41,500 --> 01:26:43,900 I did what any good coworker would do. 1821 01:26:44,000 --> 01:26:47,100 I honestly can't say I would do the same for you. 1822 01:26:47,200 --> 01:26:50,300 You would, Danny, because you're my friend. 1823 01:26:51,100 --> 01:26:53,100 I want to hear you say it. 1824 01:26:54,100 --> 01:26:55,700 Come on. Say it. 1825 01:26:58,000 --> 01:26:59,400 I'm your friend. 1826 01:27:00,300 --> 01:27:02,300 Will you hold me? No. 1827 01:27:02,400 --> 01:27:03,800 Kiss on the cheek? No. 1828 01:27:03,900 --> 01:27:06,300 Hug me. I don't want to do any of that. 1829 01:27:06,400 --> 01:27:09,500 Oh, no. Oh, no. 1830 01:27:09,600 --> 01:27:11,000 Aren't you dead yet? 1831 01:27:11,100 --> 01:27:12,800 Very close, Starchild. 1832 01:27:12,900 --> 01:27:14,500 The end is near. 1833 01:27:20,900 --> 01:27:22,400 Sleep, friend. 1834 01:27:24,400 --> 01:27:26,500 They can't hurt you now. 1835 01:27:31,200 --> 01:27:33,700 Right in the ball sack. Fuck. 1836 01:27:35,200 --> 01:27:37,100 All right. I'm gonna get a beer. 1837 01:27:37,200 --> 01:27:37,400 Hold your ground! 1838 01:27:37,400 --> 01:27:39,200 Hold your ground! 1839 01:27:39,900 --> 01:27:41,100 Enclose, stab. 1840 01:27:41,200 --> 01:27:42,600 As you command. 1841 01:27:42,700 --> 01:27:44,300 Yes, my lord. North. 1842 01:27:45,400 --> 01:27:47,600 Davith is gone. Nice work. 1843 01:27:47,700 --> 01:27:49,400 Where's Spaceman? 1844 01:27:54,500 --> 01:27:56,800 I don't think there's many warriors left, you know. 1845 01:27:56,900 --> 01:27:58,100 If I could just get him one-on-one, 1846 01:27:58,200 --> 01:28:00,000 I swear I could take him. I could take him down. 1847 01:28:00,100 --> 01:28:03,000 Hold up, dude. Methinks I have a plan. 1848 01:28:05,500 --> 01:28:08,300 Hey, King! King! 1849 01:28:09,300 --> 01:28:11,400 It's that guy from The Burger Hole. 1850 01:28:11,500 --> 01:28:13,800 Oh, he seems to be wounded. 1851 01:28:13,900 --> 01:28:15,100 Shall I take him out, sire? 1852 01:28:15,200 --> 01:28:17,700 Nay. This one is mine. 1853 01:28:28,300 --> 01:28:31,600 Well! Well, well. 1854 01:28:35,900 --> 01:28:39,600 Looks like thou art fell for the oldest trick in the scroll. 1855 01:28:52,500 --> 01:28:56,000 Now you will kneel before the king. 1856 01:28:56,100 --> 01:28:59,600 Oh, drag. I really wanted to win that pointy little hat. 1857 01:28:59,700 --> 01:29:02,900 It's a crown! 1858 01:29:10,900 --> 01:29:12,600 Cacedonia! 1859 01:29:14,800 --> 01:29:15,900 You! 1860 01:29:18,100 --> 01:29:19,200 Shit. 1861 01:29:24,800 --> 01:29:27,600 Argotron. Face me, if ye be brave enough. 1862 01:29:27,700 --> 01:29:29,900 Didn't I teach you a lesson the last time? 1863 01:29:30,000 --> 01:29:33,400 I think you're afraid I'm gonna kill you again. 1864 01:29:35,100 --> 01:29:37,100 Go get them, Augie! 1865 01:29:37,200 --> 01:29:39,500 You shut up, whore! My mom is not a whore! 1866 01:29:39,600 --> 01:29:41,000 Yes, she is! 1867 01:29:48,400 --> 01:29:50,300 He could actually win. It's anyone's game. 1868 01:29:50,400 --> 01:29:51,600 Go, Blufgan! 1869 01:29:51,700 --> 01:29:53,200 Yo, Augie! Fuck his shit up, man! 1870 01:30:13,300 --> 01:30:14,700 Screw it! 1871 01:30:14,800 --> 01:30:15,800 Bad decision. 1872 01:30:15,900 --> 01:30:17,700 No, it's a good decision. 1873 01:30:22,900 --> 01:30:24,300 Oh, shit! 1874 01:30:32,800 --> 01:30:34,900 It's okay. I don't need it. 1875 01:30:44,600 --> 01:30:45,700 Hey! 1876 01:30:46,600 --> 01:30:48,300 Please. No. 1877 01:31:15,300 --> 01:31:16,600 Yeah! Yeah! 1878 01:31:16,700 --> 01:31:17,800 That's what I'm talking about! 1879 01:31:17,900 --> 01:31:19,000 Yes! 1880 01:31:20,600 --> 01:31:22,600 The gods have played a coup. 1881 01:31:22,700 --> 01:31:25,700 Blufgan is the last man standing of them all! 1882 01:31:26,900 --> 01:31:30,700 All hail King Blufgan! 1883 01:31:31,400 --> 01:31:33,400 Hail, Blufgan! 1884 01:31:36,900 --> 01:31:38,300 Yeah! Yeah! 1885 01:31:52,200 --> 01:31:54,200 What? Esplen is still alive? 1886 01:31:56,000 --> 01:31:56,900 Esplen! 1887 01:31:57,100 --> 01:31:59,200 I was hiding in the bushes the whole time. 1888 01:31:59,300 --> 01:32:00,600 That's a pretty smart strategy. 1889 01:32:00,700 --> 01:32:03,500 Thanks. Sorry I killed you. 1890 01:32:03,600 --> 01:32:05,200 It's okay. 1891 01:32:05,300 --> 01:32:09,300 All hail Queen Esplen of Navalore! 1892 01:32:09,600 --> 01:32:11,900 Hail, Esplen! 1893 01:32:18,100 --> 01:32:21,900 Game end! 1894 01:32:23,900 --> 01:32:24,700 One slice to the king's chest and down like a sack of elderberries! 1895 01:32:24,800 --> 01:32:28,100 One slice to the king's chest and down like a sack of elderberries! 1896 01:32:30,600 --> 01:32:32,200 You did good, Augie. 1897 01:32:32,300 --> 01:32:33,900 I mean, a girl did beat you, 1898 01:32:34,000 --> 01:32:36,600 but it's definitely not as gay as I thought it would be. 1899 01:32:36,700 --> 01:32:39,900 You were incredible. Second place! 1900 01:32:40,000 --> 01:32:42,700 That's like a silver medal. Kind of makes you hungry for the gold, huh? 1901 01:32:44,100 --> 01:32:47,700 No, but we... Serious, we are very, very proud of you. 1902 01:32:47,800 --> 01:32:50,400 Thanks for trying to be nice, Mom. Jim. 1903 01:33:04,300 --> 01:33:05,900 Hail, Esplen! 1904 01:33:06,700 --> 01:33:08,000 Congratulations. 1905 01:33:08,100 --> 01:33:09,300 I can't believe I won. 1906 01:33:09,400 --> 01:33:11,600 When I killed you, I was, like, "No way. " 1907 01:33:11,700 --> 01:33:14,700 Yeah, well, the crown looks very good on you, very regal. 1908 01:33:14,800 --> 01:33:17,100 Thanks. I liked your whiskers. 1909 01:33:17,200 --> 01:33:18,600 Thanks. Was that eyeliner? 1910 01:33:18,700 --> 01:33:20,900 Yeah, I just drew them on. 1911 01:33:21,000 --> 01:33:22,200 It looked good. 1912 01:33:22,300 --> 01:33:24,600 Thanks. I have two cats, so... 1913 01:33:24,700 --> 01:33:27,400 Oh. Okay. Cool. 1914 01:33:27,500 --> 01:33:29,100 So, Augie, 1915 01:33:30,200 --> 01:33:34,000 now that I'm queen, I was wondering if maybe 1916 01:33:35,100 --> 01:33:36,700 you'd wanna be my king? 1917 01:33:36,900 --> 01:33:39,500 Yeah. I'd love that. 1918 01:33:40,900 --> 01:33:43,200 Should... Should I kiss you now? 1919 01:33:51,500 --> 01:33:52,900 Fuck, yeah. 1920 01:33:59,300 --> 01:34:02,200 Do you know the song Beth? By Kiss? 1921 01:34:02,600 --> 01:34:04,900 You did a really good thing tonight, Wheeler. 1922 01:34:05,000 --> 01:34:06,300 Yeah. They'll probably double our sentence 1923 01:34:06,400 --> 01:34:07,900 for not showing up to the hearing this afternoon. 1924 01:34:08,000 --> 01:34:11,400 Well, listen. I got a long-standing relationship with this judge, 1925 01:34:11,500 --> 01:34:14,700 and I don't want to get too graphic, but I used to suck his dick for drugs. 1926 01:34:14,800 --> 01:34:16,400 Oh. He got me my junk. 1927 01:34:16,500 --> 01:34:19,700 Long story short, you guys are not going to jail. 1928 01:34:19,800 --> 01:34:22,200 Are you BSing me? 'Cause I know you're the best BSer. 1929 01:34:22,300 --> 01:34:23,400 No, I'm being straight with you, man. 1930 01:34:24,700 --> 01:34:25,700 Shit. Thank you. 1931 01:34:25,800 --> 01:34:26,700 Whoa! Okay. 1932 01:34:26,900 --> 01:34:27,900 Thank you so much. All right. 1933 01:34:28,000 --> 01:34:29,600 Hey, what's going on here? 1934 01:34:31,300 --> 01:34:33,800 So speaking of whatever you guys were just talking about, 1935 01:34:33,900 --> 01:34:38,400 I happen to know a really nice Italian restaurant in Manhattan Beach, 1936 01:34:38,500 --> 01:34:41,100 and I would love to take you if you're interested. 1937 01:34:41,200 --> 01:34:42,700 Sure, Martin. 1938 01:34:42,900 --> 01:34:45,300 I just hope we're talking pasta and not pussy. 1939 01:34:45,400 --> 01:34:48,300 Well, I was talking about two adults having some pasta, 1940 01:34:48,400 --> 01:34:51,600 and, yes, I was kinda hoping that it would lead to some pussy. 1941 01:34:51,700 --> 01:34:53,600 Call it out there. 1942 01:34:53,700 --> 01:34:55,300 I mean, what are we after here? Okay. 1943 01:34:55,400 --> 01:34:59,100 Quiet down! Quiet down! Gather round, ye nobles! 1944 01:35:14,900 --> 01:35:18,100 Beth, I hear you calling 1945 01:35:18,200 --> 01:35:22,300 But I can't come home right now 1946 01:35:22,400 --> 01:35:25,900 'Cause me and the boys are slaying 1947 01:35:26,000 --> 01:35:30,200 And we just can't find the sound 1948 01:35:31,100 --> 01:35:33,300 None of these lyrics 1949 01:35:34,500 --> 01:35:37,600 Have anything to do with what I want to say 1950 01:35:38,600 --> 01:35:41,000 But it's got a pretty melody 1951 01:35:41,800 --> 01:35:44,500 And I get to sing your name 1952 01:35:46,100 --> 01:35:48,100 That seems pretty cool 1953 01:35:51,000 --> 01:35:53,500 Beth, you are so awesome 1954 01:35:54,200 --> 01:35:57,900 And I miss you so much 1955 01:35:58,000 --> 01:35:59,500 Your beautiful smile 1956 01:35:59,600 --> 01:36:02,900 And your positive attitude and your whispering eye 1957 01:36:06,100 --> 01:36:08,900 We don't have to get married 1958 01:36:09,000 --> 01:36:12,000 But I'm still in love with you 1959 01:36:12,900 --> 01:36:15,900 We can just be together 1960 01:36:16,800 --> 01:36:19,700 Like Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon 1961 01:36:19,800 --> 01:36:21,400 Good actors. 1962 01:36:21,800 --> 01:36:23,100 Tim and Sue 1963 01:36:25,100 --> 01:36:28,400 Beth, I am so lonely without you 1964 01:36:28,500 --> 01:36:31,500 And I hope we'll be all right 1965 01:36:32,900 --> 01:36:35,100 You and me should make up 1966 01:36:37,700 --> 01:36:41,600 Tonight 1967 01:36:43,800 --> 01:36:45,900 And the kiss! 1968 01:36:46,800 --> 01:36:47,900 Nice. 1969 01:37:32,500 --> 01:37:35,100 Hey, what does this look like to you? 1970 01:37:40,700 --> 01:37:43,400 Hey. How you doing? 1971 01:37:44,900 --> 01:37:46,400 Yeah. Yeah. 1972 01:37:52,400 --> 01:37:53,700 Yes, sir. Yeah. 1973 01:37:54,800 --> 01:37:55,800 Put it back in. 1974 01:37:55,900 --> 01:37:57,800 Ouch. Ouch. Oh, yeah, yeah. 1975 01:37:58,300 --> 01:37:59,700 There you go. 1976 01:38:01,900 --> 01:38:02,700 Ow! 146382