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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:16,300 Middlebury College, 1969, the year of walking on the moon - 2 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:19,400 - "Yellow Submarine" and Woodstock. 3 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:24,300 Also the year that Pope Paul the VI eliminated 200 saints. Amen. 4 00:02:24,700 --> 00:02:29,500 And I, along wlth my three best friends, graduated from college. 5 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:33,900 Where's Cynthia? We've got to get going. I mean, shouldn't we? 6 00:02:34,300 --> 00:02:37,400 Calm down, Annie. She said she had a surprise. 7 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:39,800 How is this? Is this heaven? 8 00:02:40,100 --> 00:02:45,700 Elise, you are so gorgeous. Really! Oh, my. It's lovely. 9 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:49,000 - It's solid. - Oh, girls. 10 00:02:49,300 --> 00:02:51,700 - Cynthia. - Here. Open. Put them on. 11 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:54,700 Oh, my God! 12 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:58,800 Oh, my God. You shouldn't have done this. 13 00:02:59,300 --> 00:03:02,500 - It's too much. - I don't think so. It's just enough. 14 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:05,700 You'll all write me nice notes, but now we need a toast. 15 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,100 - Got it. - Pour, pour! It's picture time. 16 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:12,100 - Champagne! - From my folks. 17 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:15,600 To Annie, Elise and Brenda. 18 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,300 And Cynthia, I mean our valedictorian. 19 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:21,700 All right. We're all bound together forever by friendship and love. 20 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,300 And jewelry! 21 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:27,400 And we're always going to be there for each other. 22 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:32,300 - Oh, God! I'm gonna cry! - Here! For the rest of our lives. 23 00:03:32,700 --> 00:03:34,700 - One, two, three... - How's my hair? 24 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,300 It's good. 25 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,400 Mrs. Cynthia? 26 00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:30,000 Teresa... 27 00:04:31,900 --> 00:04:34,100 - I want you to have these. - No, no, no. 28 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:35,700 -Yes, yes, yes. - I cannot take... 29 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:39,400 - You just think of it as a raise, OK? - Thank you. 30 00:04:39,700 --> 00:04:42,200 Now, you take the rest of the day off. Go on. 31 00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:46,900 - Thank you. - Would you mind mailing these? 32 00:05:39,700 --> 00:05:43,700 Of the four of us, Cynthia was certainly the most likely to succeed. 33 00:05:44,100 --> 00:05:46,900 When she decided to do something - 34 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:49,700 - she just went ahead and did it. 35 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:02,400 Roachie. Come on, honey. It's Mommy. Mommy's home. 36 00:06:02,700 --> 00:06:04,300 Gosh, think we got any messages? 37 00:06:04,700 --> 00:06:07,900 - What do you think, huh? - Annie, dear, it's your mother. 38 00:06:08,300 --> 00:06:12,500 It's 6am. Please call me urgently. 39 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:15,900 Chris!...Honey, I thought you were going to campus yesterday. 40 00:06:16,300 --> 00:06:20,200 My classes were cancelled. I slept here. Where were you?! 41 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:22,400 I was... I was at a friend's. 42 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:26,700 You were with that man again. Mother, I am so disappointed. 43 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:29,100 I'm sorry, but he is your father. 44 00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:31,900 He's using you. You shouldn't let him. 45 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:38,000 It's not that simple. The truth is I love your father. 46 00:06:38,500 --> 00:06:41,000 - I'm sure he loves me. - You're a doormat! 47 00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:43,700 What's the matter with you? Why are you so crabby today? 48 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,300 Is it school?.. I know what it is. 49 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:51,600 - It's a boy. - I'm a lesbian, mom. 50 00:06:51,900 --> 00:06:54,500 I'm a lesbian. But that's not the issue here. 51 00:06:54,900 --> 00:06:57,600 - When you say "lesbian"... - Don't tell Daddy. 52 00:06:57,900 --> 00:07:01,200 I want to tell him myself when the time is right. Like Father's Day. 53 00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:02,800 - Or Christmas morning. - Chris... 54 00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:05,400 Thank God, you're all right. 55 00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:07,400 Where were you? Who saw you? 56 00:07:07,700 --> 00:07:10,300 - Who saw me what? - She was sleeping with Daddy. 57 00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:16,200 Muffin, you've come to your senses. I'm so happy. 58 00:07:16,700 --> 00:07:21,600 Mother, I don't sleep with Aaron. He has problems with his partners. 59 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:25,200 He's very conflicted, and he needed somebody to talk to. 60 00:07:25,500 --> 00:07:27,400 - Doormat! - Lesbian. 61 00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:36,400 Do it, Morris. Do it to me now. I need it. 62 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:40,800 You're the only one who does it the way I like it. You're the king. 63 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:44,900 Any more collagen, your lips will look like they were stuck in a pool drain. 64 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:48,100 I haven't worked in 18 months. 65 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:52,300 I have a meeting with a director for a part I would kill for. 66 00:07:52,700 --> 00:07:56,200 - I have to look sexy. - Elise, you are sexy! 67 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,700 Look at yourself. You're incredible. You're my masterpiece. 68 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:03,300 - There's not one line on your face. - Really? What do you call that? 69 00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:07,300 - And these? What are these? - You're 45. 70 00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:10,800 One more facelift, you'll be able to blink your lips. 71 00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:14,000 - Don't you want to play your age? - My own age?! 72 00:08:14,300 --> 00:08:18,600 You don't understand. There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: 73 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:22,400 Babe, district attorney and "Driving Miss Daisy". 74 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:27,000 And right now, I want to be young. Science Fiction "young"! 75 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:31,900 This is good. Maybe you should also cut down on the booze. 76 00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:39,000 I know you're upset about the divorce. 77 00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:41,400 - Upset? - You're upset about Bill's movie. 78 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:45,900 This isn't about him! This is about my lips! Look at me. 79 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:49,600 I want Tina Turner. I want Jagger. 80 00:08:50,900 --> 00:08:52,400 Fill 'em up. 81 00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:59,600 Really? This is fabulous news. Thank you. Bye... Jason! 82 00:09:00,900 --> 00:09:02,900 Jason! Honey! 83 00:09:03,700 --> 00:09:07,200 Yoo-hoo! "Burning Sensation" just confirmed. 84 00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:09,200 Jason! 85 00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:11,600 - What? - "Burning Sensation" confirmed. 86 00:09:11,900 --> 00:09:13,900 - I got the band you wanted. - Cool! 87 00:09:14,900 --> 00:09:16,200 Affection! 88 00:09:18,500 --> 00:09:20,000 Gimme that! 89 00:09:23,700 --> 00:09:25,700 - What is this? - Hebrew! 90 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,100 Your Bar Mitzvah's in 3 weeks... the one thing your father will pay for. 91 00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:31,000 - Learn it! - Mom! 92 00:09:31,300 --> 00:09:34,600 Don't "but, Mom" me! Learn it. Don't shame me in the synagogue. 93 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:40,100 The separation from Aaron is absurd. 94 00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:42,600 How will you fix things if you're not together? 95 00:09:42,900 --> 00:09:46,600 We're practically together. We're seeing the same therapist. 96 00:09:46,900 --> 00:09:50,200 - What? - Her name is Dr. Leslie Rosen. 97 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:55,300 She's incredible. She helps Aaron with commitment issues. 98 00:09:55,700 --> 00:09:58,100 We're working on my self-esteem. 99 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:02,900 You're married with a daughter. You're happy. Who needs self-esteem! 100 00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:05,800 Mother! 101 00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:08,700 Dr. Rosen says that... 102 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:11,900 She says you're very controlling. 103 00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:14,300 Me? Controlling? 104 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,400 That is ridiculous. 105 00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:18,900 - Mother, I... - Roach... 106 00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:21,300 Go! 107 00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:26,000 What if I found somebody else, mother? It's possible. 108 00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:32,700 You're 46. You're more likely to be slaughtered by a psycho. 109 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:36,700 Cynthia Swann Griffin is dead. The former wife of Wall Street wizard... 110 00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:39,500 Didn't you go to school with her? 111 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:41,500 ...jumped from her fashionable penthouse apartment. 112 00:10:41,900 --> 00:10:44,500 Mrs. Griffin had recently divorced her longtime husband - 113 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:49,000 - Gilbert Griffin. The Wall Street baron remarried only yesterday. 114 00:10:56,900 --> 00:10:59,900 - Morning, Mohammed. - Morning, Miss Eliot. 115 00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:27,700 Elise! 116 00:11:30,100 --> 00:11:32,400 - Oh, God. What a tragedy! - Poor Cynthia. 117 00:11:32,700 --> 00:11:34,500 And your lips! 118 00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:39,800 Elise arrived with Gunilla Garson-Goldberg. 119 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,700 The queen of New York society. Nobody gets anywhere - 120 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,000 - in this town without Gunilla's say-so. 121 00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:56,400 Hey, Elise! 122 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:07,600 She looks wonderful. Has she had any work done? 123 00:12:07,900 --> 00:12:09,300 Honey, she's a quilt. 124 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:16,900 Then came Cynthia's former husband Gilbert Griffin. 125 00:12:17,300 --> 00:12:20,300 A man made rich by his first wife's connections and now - 126 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:24,000 - made happy by his second wife's youthful good looks. 127 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:29,400 The vampire Lestat. And Louis. 128 00:12:40,300 --> 00:12:44,000 What a nerve! He should be hanging his head. 129 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:46,700 You don't know what he feels right now. 130 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:03,500 I knew you would be here. 131 00:13:03,900 --> 00:13:05,100 Alice! 132 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:07,700 - No, Annie. - Annie! 133 00:13:08,300 --> 00:13:12,200 It's so wonderful to see you. You're wearing our pearls. 134 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:14,200 Yeah. 135 00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:17,400 - Hi. It's Brenda. Brenda Morang. - Brenda! 136 00:13:17,700 --> 00:13:19,700 Annie. Remember me! 137 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:25,000 - You look wonderful. - You do too. You look just... 138 00:13:25,300 --> 00:13:27,500 - ...uncanny. - Thank you. 139 00:13:28,900 --> 00:13:31,500 Dear, sweet, funny, yearning Brenda. 140 00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:36,700 What? 141 00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:43,700 - She's such a bitch. - I hate that guy. 142 00:13:44,100 --> 00:13:49,300 This might sound horrible after that but I would really... 143 00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:51,700 - I'd love to... - Lunch? 144 00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:54,600 No, you're right. It's not right. 145 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,100 Why? We gotta eat. I have a car. 146 00:13:57,500 --> 00:13:59,300 - A limo. - Yeah. 147 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:04,600 It is so wonderful seeing you all. 148 00:14:06,900 --> 00:14:08,200 - Elise. - What? 149 00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:11,800 You have not changed a bit in 20 years. 150 00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:15,400 Not one little bit. 151 00:14:16,100 --> 00:14:17,800 It's utterly bizarre. 152 00:14:18,100 --> 00:14:19,500 - Brenda! - Excuse me. I'm sorry. 153 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:21,300 Ladies, would anyone like a drink? 154 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:25,100 - Yes, I would like a Virgin Mary. - Bloody Mary. 155 00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:27,900 - Vodka rocks, please. - Now, I just want to... 156 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:32,500 ...get this out of the way. I'm the most terrible person. 157 00:14:32,900 --> 00:14:37,000 I tried to stay in touch. I should have written every month. 158 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:40,200 Annie you had a life to lead. 159 00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:44,300 It must have been time-consuming, churning out those newsletters. 160 00:14:45,500 --> 00:14:47,400 It's a terrible excuse for a reunion - 161 00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:51,500 - but here we all are. How are you guys, huh? 162 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,900 Just fine. Couldn't be better. 163 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,300 - Things are rolling along for me. - Same here. Knock wood. 164 00:14:57,700 --> 00:14:59,500 Knock wood. 165 00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:02,400 - It's great to see you guys again. - Cheers. 166 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:07,700 Why'd she do it? I don't understand. Could I have helped her? 167 00:15:08,100 --> 00:15:11,100 What would make her want to? 168 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:16,600 She gave Gil the best years of her life. Sacrificed her youth... 169 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:21,900 Always put herself last to bolster his ego, his drive, his ambition. 170 00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:28,900 Just as her dignity hung by a thread, he ran off with a pre-schooler. 171 00:15:31,700 --> 00:15:34,100 - I'm guessing. - Elise... 172 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,200 You too? 173 00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:38,900 You...Brenda? 174 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:41,600 - Brenda? - Morty was a big shot on TV. 175 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:46,000 He sold electronics. On our 20th wedding anniversary, it hits... 176 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:51,500 ...mid-life crisis...Major! He starts working out, grows a mustache. 177 00:15:51,900 --> 00:15:55,400 He gets an earring. I said: "Morty, what are you...a pirate?" 178 00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:57,100 "What's next? A parrot?" 179 00:15:57,300 --> 00:16:02,500 Suddenly, I'm a drag. I'm holding him back because I won't rollerblade. 180 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:05,900 - What's her name? - Shelly. 181 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:10,500 Shelly the barracuda. She's 12. 182 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,600 Bren... Elise. 183 00:16:15,900 --> 00:16:19,100 I am so sorry about both of your marriages. 184 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:23,200 I wish I could have helped or been there in some way. 185 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:28,000 - What about your marriage? - Everything's just fine. 186 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:31,000 Aaron is so terrific... 187 00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:35,300 Now, let's think...we've been married for 25 years... 188 00:16:37,100 --> 00:16:41,900 Chris is perfect. I mean, lesbians are great...nowadays! 189 00:16:42,300 --> 00:16:46,300 The marriage is going... It's going to be really fine. 190 00:16:46,700 --> 00:16:49,600 Aaron and I...we're... 191 00:16:49,900 --> 00:16:54,500 ..temporarily sort of... We're separated! 192 00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:59,100 - Separated. - Separated? 193 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,700 Separated. 194 00:17:16,100 --> 00:17:18,900 OK, Elise, the time has come... 195 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:22,000 Spill! Those lips...what's in 'em? 196 00:17:22,300 --> 00:17:25,300 - Are they wax? - Excuse me? 197 00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:28,100 What else did you have done? You can tell me. 198 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:33,000 The cheeks, the jawline... Have just a little or the full enchilada? 199 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,900 I work out daily, watch my diet. 200 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:40,200 - I haven't had plastic surgery! - Good for you! 201 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,300 - You look terrific. - Come on! 202 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:45,600 You're lying through your caps! 203 00:17:45,900 --> 00:17:49,100 OK, I have been refreshed a little. 204 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:52,400 - Oh, God, does it hurt? - No. 205 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,600 The stuff they take off... Can you keep it? 206 00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:58,100 Come on, it's the 90s. 207 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:04,100 Plastic surgery is like good grooming. It's like brushing your teeth. 208 00:18:04,700 --> 00:18:11,200 Elise, you've been yanked, stitched, stuffed and pulled. You're a turkey. 209 00:18:12,100 --> 00:18:14,600 - And to please your ex-husband? - No... 210 00:18:14,900 --> 00:18:19,300 ...to please everybody. To please everybody! 211 00:18:19,700 --> 00:18:25,000 Men, women, studio executives. Come on, youth and beauty. 212 00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:27,200 Men, that's the ticket! 213 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:31,500 When men... No, when women get to be a certain age... 214 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:36,100 - ...bye, bye love. Hello, poptarts. - That's right, baby. 215 00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:38,700 It's a holocaust. 216 00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:44,200 God, I wish I had the courage to give it all up. To say... 217 00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:50,800 ...who gives a rat's ass. Just let myself go like you two did. 218 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:53,500 No offense. 219 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:57,200 - None taken. - Speak for yourself, OK! 220 00:18:57,500 --> 00:19:01,200 Elise, you're gifted, talented and successful. 221 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:04,500 Brenda, you're wonderfully verbal. 222 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:08,300 And I am seeing a very talented therapist. 223 00:19:08,700 --> 00:19:14,800 We're in our prime! By the way, my marriage is fine, thank you. 224 00:19:15,300 --> 00:19:20,600 Annie, you have an amazing attitude. 225 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:25,300 You are...so cheerful. 226 00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:28,800 - You are... - Look at me. 227 00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:31,100 You are genuinely happy. 228 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:34,700 - It's a beautiful thing. - Thank you. 229 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,600 Lithium? 230 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:49,000 You'd have been proud of me, Leslie. I was the only positive one there. 231 00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:55,300 There were traces of the wonderful, witty women I knew before - 232 00:19:55,700 --> 00:20:02,900 - but they're just so angry.They're so confused. When we were young... 233 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,800 - ...we had such spirit. - Say it, honey. 234 00:20:06,100 --> 00:20:11,400 - Work from love. - OK, work from love. 235 00:20:11,900 --> 00:20:15,400 - Grow from love. - Grow from love. 236 00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:17,100 Screw the world. 237 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:22,300 - I can't say that. I'm sorry. - Annie, you are still doing it. 238 00:20:22,700 --> 00:20:24,900 - I know. - You have a problem with anger. 239 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:26,500 You're absolutely right. 240 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,900 It's my... I don't know what it is! It's my mother. It's Connecticut. 241 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:32,500 - It's all these loud noises. - And Aaron. 242 00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:36,800 I know we're separated. But I think this is really a rest period. 243 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:38,600 We're just getting our... 244 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:43,700 - Do it, Annie! Get angry. - I couldn't. I know that I should... 245 00:20:44,100 --> 00:20:45,300 - It's just... - Hit me. 246 00:20:45,700 --> 00:20:47,200 Stand up and hit me. 247 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:52,600 I can't. I'm so sorry. Maybe... 248 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:57,500 Let it out. I want you to hit me. Trust me. It's OK. 249 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,300 OK. 250 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,700 Rambo! 251 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:09,700 A real tough guy. Come on, Annie... 252 00:21:10,100 --> 00:21:13,500 - Hit me! - I love that. 253 00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:19,600 - My God. - That was better. 254 00:21:19,900 --> 00:21:24,200 - I'm sorry. Please don't tell Aaron. - Time's up. 255 00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:26,200 - Time to go. Do you feel better? - Thank you. 256 00:21:30,700 --> 00:21:34,800 He hasn't the guts to tell me he wants a divorce. I have to hear it on TV. 257 00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:37,600 - Elise, be cool. Be calm. - I am! 258 00:21:37,900 --> 00:21:40,800 - I saw that show. It was interesting. - I don't want to hear it. 259 00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:45,400 My client's and Miss Eliot's marriage resulted in many successful films - 260 00:21:45,900 --> 00:21:49,000 - including "Inner Urges", "Human lnstinct" - 261 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:55,200 - and "Animal Nature" in which she played a sensuous veterinarian. 262 00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:57,100 - Thank you. - My idea! 263 00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:59,300 - Was not. - Was too. 264 00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:02,800 My client produced these films which enhanced Miss Eliot's career. 265 00:22:03,300 --> 00:22:06,400 - Therefore, she is indebted to him. - I produced these films! 266 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:08,700 You knew nothing when I met you. 267 00:22:09,100 --> 00:22:11,900 I taught you everything! What? 268 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:14,200 Those were your best years, Elise. 269 00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:20,300 Therefore, we request half of Miss Eliot's assets and a monthly stipend. 270 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:22,200 He wants alimony? 271 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:26,400 As for the sculpture, art, Japanese porcelain and objets d'art- 272 00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:30,100 - collected during the marriage, my client thinks it fair for Miss Eliot - 273 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:34,000 - to dispose of the items and divide the proceeds evenly. 274 00:22:34,300 --> 00:22:35,900 They were anniversary presents - 275 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:38,300 - Xmas presents. I gave him everything. Now he wants more?! 276 00:22:42,900 --> 00:22:49,000 Now, Duarto, I ask you: who's this for? An anorexic teen? A fetus? 277 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:53,200 It's a conspiracy. I know it is. I've had enough. I'm leading a protest. 278 00:22:53,500 --> 00:22:58,100 I'm not buying any more clothes until designers come to their senses. 279 00:22:58,500 --> 00:23:01,600 Brenda worked for a man named Duarto Feliz - 280 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:05,700 - one of the ten worst interior decorators in New York. 281 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:09,200 I think his real name was Duane Hemelwitz. 282 00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:12,700 - It's electric. Look at this hideous... - I can't afford it. 283 00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:17,300 You've got to have it. Try it on. You could sell a broach, your son... 284 00:23:17,700 --> 00:23:19,500 Duarto... 285 00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:25,100 - Morty! Look at you. - Brenda, don't embarrass me. 286 00:23:25,500 --> 00:23:28,300 Don't embarrass me. Don't make a scene. 287 00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:32,000 You've got nerve. Know what's embarrassing? 288 00:23:32,300 --> 00:23:36,000 Being hassled by Mr. Zaworsky because I'm behind in the rent. 289 00:23:36,500 --> 00:23:40,600 That's embarrassing. Worrying about how to pay for my kid's college. 290 00:23:41,100 --> 00:23:44,600 You know what? You never listened. 20 years and you never listened. 291 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:48,200 Here! Try this on in the fitting room. It looks very nice. 292 00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:51,300 I could use this. It's very beautiful. I love the color... 293 00:23:51,700 --> 00:23:54,000 But what can I use for money? How am I gonna pay for it? 294 00:23:54,300 --> 00:23:59,200 The company is expanding. Not me! I'm a mere laborer. 295 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:03,300 - You're a liar and a fraud. - I have no money. I'm not rich. 296 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:05,400 - Why don't you look in your purse? - Very funny. 297 00:24:05,700 --> 00:24:08,900 - They're stunning, Morton. I want 'em. - Morton? 298 00:24:10,300 --> 00:24:13,600 - Oh, God, make it go away. - Shelly, look at you. 299 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:17,900 - The bulimia has paid off. - Don't start. 300 00:24:18,300 --> 00:24:21,500 What's the matter, Morty? Can't you buy her a whole dress? 301 00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:25,200 Why don't you try these on in your size? 302 00:24:29,500 --> 00:24:33,200 - It was a delight running into you. - You've read the script. 303 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:39,800 Yes, it is so original. It's so good. 304 00:24:40,300 --> 00:24:43,100 You're so gifted, Brett. 305 00:24:45,700 --> 00:24:48,700 And Monique... "Monique"... 306 00:24:51,100 --> 00:24:53,600 She is a great character. 307 00:24:54,300 --> 00:24:57,500 Thank you. Man, what a kick! 308 00:24:58,900 --> 00:25:01,300 Elise Eliot in a Brett Artounian film. 309 00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:05,100 So, tell me how do you see her? 310 00:25:06,500 --> 00:25:09,500 Well, uh, I think we go for... 311 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:12,600 - ...grotesque. - What? 312 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:17,400 All the way. No make-up, overhead lighting. Bring out every wrinkle... 313 00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:20,500 Every crag. With you in the part - 314 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:24,500 - Monique's mother won't be another Jurassic fleshbag in a wheelchair. 315 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:26,800 She's epic. 316 00:25:28,300 --> 00:25:32,200 Elise Eliot, the crypt-keeper. Wow! 317 00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:02,100 Mom, I'm spending the night at Dad's. Don't worry, I'm studying. 318 00:26:02,500 --> 00:26:05,200 Baruch atta adonoy... Happy now? 319 00:26:17,100 --> 00:26:18,500 Maurice? 320 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:24,500 I want another one. They want me to play the mother. 321 00:26:25,700 --> 00:26:28,400 - Sorry. - The mother! 322 00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:30,400 Let me ask you something. 323 00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:34,800 - Is this the face of a mother? - No, ma'am. 324 00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,400 Certainly not mine. 325 00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:44,200 So I thought. 326 00:26:45,100 --> 00:26:48,100 Not to be critical, but you've no feeling for noodles. 327 00:26:48,500 --> 00:26:50,300 Thank you, Mom. 328 00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:56,500 Hello. 329 00:26:56,800 --> 00:27:02,400 Aaron... Nothing... Just having pasta with mother. 330 00:27:02,900 --> 00:27:04,700 No, you say... Sure! 331 00:27:04,900 --> 00:27:07,500 That would be good. Bye. 332 00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:13,100 We're going to have dinner! Can you believe that? Oh my God! 333 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:17,100 Do you know what this means? It means he's re-prioritized. 334 00:27:17,500 --> 00:27:19,700 He's worked through his relationship phobias - 335 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:24,100 - his fear of intimacy, his thing about my poisoning his food. 336 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:26,100 He's ready to recommit. 337 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:31,000 - Here we go. - Thank you. 338 00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:34,300 Excuse me, so sorry. 339 00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:46,500 Una? By yourself? 340 00:27:47,900 --> 00:27:49,100 Si. 341 00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:25,500 - How are you? - Hello. Allow me. 342 00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:58,700 I'm not Monique's mother. Angela Lansbury's Monique's mother. 343 00:28:59,100 --> 00:29:02,500 - Shelley Winters is Unique's mother. - Now, that's good. 344 00:29:02,900 --> 00:29:08,400 - Sean Connery's Unique's mother. - Perhaps some coffee now. 345 00:29:08,900 --> 00:29:14,600 I take that back. Sean Connery is Monique's boyfriend. 346 00:29:15,100 --> 00:29:19,300 He's 300 years old, but he's still a stud. 347 00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:29,700 - I'm not happy, Maurice. - I'm going to get you that coffee. 348 00:29:39,900 --> 00:29:44,300 - Honey... I think I should go. - I know. 349 00:29:44,700 --> 00:29:51,500 Tomorrow, we could start moving your things back in...if that's okay? 350 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:56,200 I hated seeing your side of the closet all empty. 351 00:29:57,900 --> 00:30:03,700 Dr. Rosen...she would be proud of us. I wish she were here. 352 00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:10,200 Not literally. I can't wait to tell her how we worked it all out. 353 00:30:10,700 --> 00:30:14,300 We should get therapy gold stars. 354 00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:15,800 Annie... 355 00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:19,900 I love you. 356 00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:28,200 Come here. 357 00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:33,000 Yes. 358 00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:41,600 I love you. 359 00:30:44,700 --> 00:30:46,800 I want a divorce. 360 00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:54,100 - Stay calm. - But we just made love! 361 00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:57,000 You asked me out. 362 00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:59,900 I asked you out to tell you, but you looked so great. 363 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:02,700 I thought: "How romantic. One last time." 364 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:07,100 - A goodbye kiss. - But this wasn't just a kiss. 365 00:31:07,500 --> 00:31:10,400 Don't be childish. You know how you manipulate me. 366 00:31:10,700 --> 00:31:13,200 - What?! Manipulate? - Don't. 367 00:31:13,500 --> 00:31:16,000 What?.. Oh my God. 368 00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:20,300 - Is there someone else? - No. This is about us. 369 00:31:20,700 --> 00:31:22,000 It's really not you. 370 00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:24,200 Babe? 371 00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:26,700 Oh my God! 372 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,600 - Oh my God! - Oh my God. 373 00:31:29,900 --> 00:31:32,500 - This is very awkward. - No, Annie was just leaving. 374 00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:35,100 - You told her? - I was totally upfront. 375 00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:37,400 What? Excuse me! 376 00:31:37,700 --> 00:31:39,900 Annie, this is rough. I know that. 377 00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:43,300 Rough?! Wait a minute. I don't understand. You're my therapist? 378 00:31:43,700 --> 00:31:47,200 - I'm a woman. - He is my husband. 379 00:31:47,500 --> 00:31:52,000 We've been separated for months. Let's not overdramatize, OK? 380 00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:55,600 She's allowed to be angry. - Annie, let's use this. 381 00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:58,600 He's found someone new. You're free! Closure! 382 00:31:58,900 --> 00:32:03,000 I'm sorry, but that isn't what this is. 383 00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:06,400 You're not helping us out here. 384 00:32:06,700 --> 00:32:09,200 - Now, I'm sorry. - So am I! 385 00:32:09,500 --> 00:32:15,900 Very sorry I ever met you! Sorry I loved you for all those years! 386 00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:19,700 I'm sorry I was there for you every minute - 387 00:32:20,100 --> 00:32:23,900 - of every day and supported you in your every move. 388 00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:27,500 I'm sorry! 389 00:33:20,300 --> 00:33:21,700 Oh, my God. 390 00:33:38,700 --> 00:33:42,700 "I wish I had talent like Elise"- 391 00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:45,300 - "Brenda's humor" - 392 00:33:47,500 --> 00:33:50,100 - "or your strength, Annie." 393 00:33:51,100 --> 00:33:55,000 "Most of all I wish I still had our friendship." 394 00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:59,900 "Perhaps Gil isn't the problem." Oh, God... 395 00:34:00,300 --> 00:34:03,200 "Perhaps loneliness is." 396 00:34:06,900 --> 00:34:10,200 "Please take care of each other. Love, Cynthia." 397 00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:20,000 - And on such pretty stationery. - I have to make some calls, Mom. 398 00:34:25,700 --> 00:34:30,200 - God, poor Cynthia. - If only she had called me. 399 00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:31,800 If only I were listed. 400 00:34:32,100 --> 00:34:35,300 You know what? She was right. In college we were focused. 401 00:34:35,700 --> 00:34:37,600 We were brave. We couldn't wait. 402 00:34:37,900 --> 00:34:41,300 It's all over. I'm alone. I don't have anything. 403 00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:43,300 I don't have anything! 404 00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:49,200 You have a son who adores you. I'm alone! I'm Monique's mother. 405 00:34:49,700 --> 00:34:53,100 But Jason's off to college pretty soon. I'll be even more alone. 406 00:34:53,500 --> 00:34:55,400 Plus I'll be a lot older. 407 00:34:55,700 --> 00:34:58,500 Any more plastic surgery, I won't be able to sleep. 408 00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:00,200 I'll have to work at McDonalds! 409 00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:04,100 -I'll have to do ads for adult diapers. - I'll have to wear them. 410 00:35:04,900 --> 00:35:06,200 I just spent 25 years - 411 00:35:06,500 --> 00:35:11,800 - with a self-absorbed man who is marrying my therapist... 412 00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:15,800 - ...who lectured me on self-esteem. - You win! 413 00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:19,200 I won't be that woman anymore. It's unacceptable. 414 00:35:19,500 --> 00:35:23,200 It is unacceptable! I made all those stupid movies with Bill. 415 00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:26,000 I gave him a career and he stole mine. 416 00:35:26,300 --> 00:35:29,700 I worked behind the cash register at his first store...in his first 15 stores! 417 00:35:30,100 --> 00:35:32,800 I gave Aaron a home and a daughter. 418 00:35:33,100 --> 00:35:36,300 - I washed and ironed his shorts. - You did? 419 00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:38,700 Well, I supervised. 420 00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:42,100 What do we want? Revenge? 421 00:35:42,500 --> 00:35:45,900 No! We are not talking about revenge. I am talking about justice. 422 00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:48,600 I'm going to give Aaron so much justice he won't see straight... 423 00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,700 - ...if he thinks partners are trouble. - Bill's always had it easy. 424 00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:55,200 That's right. Bill's had it easy every inch of the way. 425 00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:57,200 He's always had a woman look after him. 426 00:35:57,500 --> 00:35:59,600 What would happen one day if he didn't? 427 00:35:59,900 --> 00:36:02,400 What do you think, Brenda? 428 00:36:02,700 --> 00:36:05,600 I love Morty. Very deeply. 429 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:09,600 - I wouldn't want to see him harmed. - You don't? 430 00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:13,400 I want him dumped! By Little Miss Midriff. 431 00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,100 By that Stairmastered L'Orealed crotch jockey. 432 00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:17,700 In front of the whole Western Hemisphere. 433 00:36:17,900 --> 00:36:24,400 On the 6 o'clock news. Okay! After that I want world peace. 434 00:36:24,900 --> 00:36:28,300 Let's get serious. We helped them rise. We can help them fall. 435 00:36:28,700 --> 00:36:30,900 How are we going to do that. 436 00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:34,400 We're has-beens, hanging on by a thread. We're discards. 437 00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:39,300 We're not hanging on by a thread. Look, by being together - us - unity. 438 00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:42,300 If all the first wives of the world got together... 439 00:36:42,700 --> 00:36:45,400 - ...what else do we need? - Just one amazing attorney. 440 00:36:45,700 --> 00:36:48,800 All we need is us. Three women who aren't afraid to fight. 441 00:36:49,100 --> 00:36:55,100 Stand up for dignity and self-esteem! Then we'll let 'em have it. 442 00:36:57,300 --> 00:36:58,600 - See this? - What? 443 00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:00,600 - Wait, right here, OK? - OK. 444 00:37:00,900 --> 00:37:03,500 See this? Put it in there. 445 00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:10,400 All right. First Wives Club, come to order. 446 00:37:10,700 --> 00:37:12,400 Starting the club was easy. 447 00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:15,700 Figuring out what to do next was much harder. 448 00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:19,300 We each decided to gather information about our husbands. 449 00:37:19,700 --> 00:37:22,900 - Elise, Elise... - Yeah... 450 00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:24,100 I went in search of a spy. 451 00:37:26,100 --> 00:37:29,500 Why can't we call Chris and ask her to help us? 452 00:37:29,900 --> 00:37:33,600 I want her to know I support her lifestyle completely. 453 00:37:34,100 --> 00:37:37,600 - I've never been to a gay bar! - Here we go. 454 00:37:37,900 --> 00:37:40,700 Hi, I think you're just terrific. 455 00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:53,100 Look at this. My God! Isn't this great? All these women. 456 00:37:53,500 --> 00:37:54,900 Yeah, maybe we'll get lucky. 457 00:37:55,100 --> 00:37:58,900 Elise Eliot, right? You're from the movies. 458 00:37:59,300 --> 00:38:01,300 - Yeah... - I knew you were gay! 459 00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:05,900 I said Elise Eliot is so hot! You're like the most - 460 00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:08,400 - amazing babe on this planet. 461 00:38:08,700 --> 00:38:11,700 God bless you! 462 00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:15,700 - You wanna dance? - Uh, yeah. 463 00:38:18,100 --> 00:38:19,400 Hi, Sweetie. 464 00:38:19,700 --> 00:38:23,200 Mom! Hi... 465 00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:25,700 We wanted to have a little... 466 00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:27,400 What's the matter? 467 00:38:27,700 --> 00:38:30,700 I thought we could have a little chat about our plans. 468 00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:32,300 Mom... 469 00:38:32,700 --> 00:38:35,600 - You know you're in a gay bar. - That's what's so great. 470 00:38:35,900 --> 00:38:39,800 It's very women-identified and... by the way... 471 00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:42,800 I'm Chris' Mom. 472 00:38:43,100 --> 00:38:45,000 Are you gay? 473 00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:46,800 Sorry! 474 00:38:53,100 --> 00:38:54,800 What's wrong? 475 00:38:55,600 --> 00:39:01,100 My lover left mer after 18 years for some teenager who weighs 12 lb. 476 00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:03,000 What am I going to do? 477 00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:07,100 - God! That's just like me and Morty. - Who? 478 00:39:07,500 --> 00:39:09,600 Morty. 479 00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:12,700 She's butch. 480 00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:16,500 Nail Daddy and those other low-lifes? 481 00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:20,800 I don't mean "nail 'em". I mean, just teach and help them. 482 00:39:21,300 --> 00:39:23,800 - Vaporize them! - Yeah, sure. 483 00:39:24,100 --> 00:39:26,300 Yes! Yes! Yes! 484 00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:29,200 I'm in. I'm really in. 485 00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:41,000 Elise... 486 00:39:41,300 --> 00:39:44,200 Elise, Chris is in! 487 00:39:44,500 --> 00:39:47,300 Can you believe it? Mission accomplished. We'd better go. 488 00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:49,000 She's staying! 489 00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:52,200 She's with me, babe! Come on, honey, my place. 490 00:39:55,300 --> 00:39:57,700 Brenda, you're so possessive! 491 00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:02,400 Something I was just thinking about...my resume. 492 00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:08,800 Wouldn't interfere with school. Something part-time until I graduate. 493 00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:12,100 Come on, Dad. How about a little nepotism? 494 00:40:12,500 --> 00:40:13,800 I'll hire you. 495 00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:19,700 I'm surprised. You've never shown interest in advertising. 496 00:40:20,300 --> 00:40:23,100 I know, Daddy. I'm here to learn. 497 00:40:24,700 --> 00:40:26,400 That's great. 498 00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:35,800 Elise decided to pull the rug out from under Bill...literally. 499 00:40:36,100 --> 00:40:39,600 After all, his lawyer told her to dispose of their common property. 500 00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:42,000 Miss Eliot, you know he hates interruptions. 501 00:40:42,300 --> 00:40:45,400 Please let me tell him you're here. Please... 502 00:40:48,500 --> 00:40:50,700 Elise...what a kick! But I'm on with the Coast. 503 00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:54,200 All the good stuff goes. The Lampico, the Ming vase. 504 00:40:54,500 --> 00:40:59,700 Amari horsemen, Faberg� eggs, the Wingback chair, the green Tiffany lamp. 505 00:41:00,100 --> 00:41:02,100 Babe...what's going on? 506 00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:06,600 As requested, I'm consolidating the matrimonial assets for liquidation. 507 00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:10,300 That includes these antiques I bought for you. 508 00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:13,600 - You are the best. - Love tokens, anniversary gifts. 509 00:41:13,900 --> 00:41:18,200 - Junk. Here, take that desk too. - Elise, this hurts me. 510 00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:21,300 I care about you...about us. About the magic. 511 00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:24,500 - What exactly is going on here? - And this Japanese secretary. 512 00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:27,000 - I want that to go. - Back off, Jacko! 513 00:41:27,500 --> 00:41:30,400 Elise, this isn't right. It's hormonal. You can't do this. 514 00:41:30,700 --> 00:41:33,300 - Watch me! - But this is my stuff! 515 00:41:33,700 --> 00:41:36,800 It's the 90s, Bill. Downsize! 516 00:41:42,900 --> 00:41:44,900 At Jason's Bar Mitzvah 2 weeks later- 517 00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:48,300 - First Wives Club got its first big break. 518 00:41:48,700 --> 00:41:53,000 Thanks to Brenda's dear, dear Sicilian uncle. 519 00:41:56,100 --> 00:41:59,300 Uncle Carmine. My father's side. 520 00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:05,400 Morty and I have planned for this day since Jason was born. 521 00:42:05,700 --> 00:42:09,500 - But Morty's going to be here. - But next to me. 522 00:42:09,900 --> 00:42:12,100 We're not a family anymore. 523 00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:15,100 It's OK. I'll be fine. 524 00:42:17,900 --> 00:42:19,600 Excuse me. 525 00:42:26,900 --> 00:42:28,400 He brought her... 526 00:42:29,300 --> 00:42:31,900 ...to my son's Bar Mitzvah! 527 00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:33,400 Is she a gift? 528 00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:41,200 - Brenda, can I speak freely? - Sure. Annie's cool. 529 00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:45,900 I speak for the entire family and your late father - my beloved brother - 530 00:42:46,300 --> 00:42:53,100 - when I say Morty is garbage. I'd be honored to take him out. 531 00:42:54,100 --> 00:42:59,300 No, don't you dare. Morty the Garbage is my problem. 532 00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:03,100 I'll work it out myself. Thanks for the thought anyway. 533 00:43:03,500 --> 00:43:04,800 My angel. 534 00:43:05,100 --> 00:43:08,500 For Morty to treat you this way after what your father did for him... 535 00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:11,100 Where would he be? 536 00:43:11,500 --> 00:43:16,000 The first year of his business, all his merchandise - 537 00:43:16,500 --> 00:43:20,200 - fell off one of our trucks. 538 00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:22,100 You're not serious? 539 00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:25,600 We were happy to help you newlyweds. 540 00:43:25,900 --> 00:43:28,800 My Morty a crook? 541 00:43:29,300 --> 00:43:33,200 Check his books. They're fiction. Bestsellers! 542 00:43:33,900 --> 00:43:37,100 - Ciao. - Ciao. Grazie. 543 00:43:39,900 --> 00:43:41,900 Really liked your uncle. 544 00:43:45,900 --> 00:43:50,100 - Mother! Mother! Where are you? - Over here, bitch. 545 00:43:50,500 --> 00:43:54,300 Mother, I met a man. He's an angel. 546 00:43:54,700 --> 00:43:57,400 He's a God. He's a doctor. 547 00:43:58,300 --> 00:43:59,700 It's perfect. 548 00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:06,600 - Do I really have the part? - Baby, you know it. 549 00:44:08,100 --> 00:44:09,700 Pizza! 550 00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:14,900 - Oh my God! - Elise! 551 00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:18,000 - There's the Lichtenstein. - What the hell are you doing? 552 00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:20,700 - The Dine. Take that. - This is so cool. 553 00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:23,000 - All the gym equipment. - I'm getting a restraining order. 554 00:44:23,300 --> 00:44:27,200 No, Bill, this is great. - Hi, I'm Phoebe. 555 00:44:27,500 --> 00:44:31,000 I've seen all your movies and I want to be just like you, only me! 556 00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:35,600 Phoebe, some advice... Be afraid. Be very afraid. 557 00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:39,400 - Pheebs, she's bitter. - And take the cappuccino machine! 558 00:44:39,700 --> 00:44:41,600 Bill, I have a great idea. 559 00:44:41,900 --> 00:44:44,700 Wouldn't she be great to play opposite me? 560 00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:46,900 Bill is producing this new, incredible movie - 561 00:44:47,100 --> 00:44:49,700 - with this young, hot director. I'm the star of it. 562 00:44:50,100 --> 00:44:52,800 - I'm Monique. - What? 563 00:44:53,100 --> 00:44:55,200 And you can be my Mom! 564 00:45:00,300 --> 00:45:04,600 While Elise cleaned out Bill's office, loft and house in the Hamptons - 565 00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:08,700 Brenda and I looked for an office. A base for the Club. 566 00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:15,300 Come in. 567 00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:22,100 Look at this. It's early everything, huh. 568 00:45:22,500 --> 00:45:26,100 Oh, my goodness. Look at this. 569 00:45:28,100 --> 00:45:30,500 You know what it says? "I beat Meryl." 570 00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:34,300 - It does not. Put that down. - Is there chocolate inside? 571 00:45:34,700 --> 00:45:36,600 - Put it down! - OK, OK. 572 00:45:36,900 --> 00:45:42,400 Put it gently down. Look. Do you believe this stuff? 573 00:45:42,900 --> 00:45:45,300 I don't know where to put it. There's no room in my warehouse. 574 00:45:45,700 --> 00:45:48,800 I could have put it in my building downtown. 575 00:45:49,100 --> 00:45:50,800 - You own a building? - Yeah, I do. 576 00:45:51,100 --> 00:45:53,000 I sublet it normally, but... 577 00:45:53,300 --> 00:45:55,700 ...now it's...vacant. 578 00:46:07,100 --> 00:46:10,500 There's a lot of work to be done. You have to see it. 579 00:46:10,900 --> 00:46:13,000 Look at this. 580 00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:20,800 All right, this is perfect. 581 00:46:21,100 --> 00:46:25,900 All right, girls! This is fabulous. 582 00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:33,900 While Brenda and I worked like crazy gathering information - 583 00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:37,200 - Elise spent most of her time on the phone to her agent. 584 00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:41,600 Dan Carlin, please. Elise Eliot calling. 585 00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:45,700 - Elise Eliot! - And finally it came through for her. 586 00:46:46,700 --> 00:46:52,000 - This is a great play! - I told her she had to do it. 587 00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:55,600 I don't want to do theater! I haven't done theater in years! 588 00:46:55,900 --> 00:46:59,700 Bill always said theater was bad for my career... 589 00:47:00,100 --> 00:47:03,100 - ...which actually I agree with. - Excuse me, but this is a great role. 590 00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:07,000 This is about a bitter, unloved, emotionally barren woman. 591 00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:09,700 - That's not me! - It's you! 592 00:47:10,500 --> 00:47:11,900 Thank you. 593 00:47:15,500 --> 00:47:18,100 - Hello. - It's Bill. Where's Elise? 594 00:47:18,500 --> 00:47:21,100 - It's for you... Bill. - Hello. 595 00:47:21,400 --> 00:47:24,400 - Listen to me, you piece of garbage. - I can't hear you. 596 00:47:24,700 --> 00:47:27,600 I'll sue you. I'll break you. 597 00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:30,500 You vindictive sack of silicone! 598 00:47:30,800 --> 00:47:35,200 - That's my car, you piece of plastic! - Oh, darn. 599 00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:37,800 Bill... Lamborghini. 600 00:47:38,100 --> 00:47:39,700 The Lamborghini. 601 00:47:39,900 --> 00:47:41,200 He's mad. Whoo! 602 00:47:44,400 --> 00:47:46,500 Elise, can I ask you a question? 603 00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:50,400 Aren't you frustrated? You climb and climb and go nowhere. 604 00:47:50,800 --> 00:47:55,600 I love it! Burns off the booze. You want to know something? 605 00:47:56,000 --> 00:48:00,100 - I get my best ideas when I work out. - You get ideas?! 606 00:48:00,500 --> 00:48:03,500 It clears out my head. I think straight. Everything makes sense. 607 00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:06,800 Better start thinking because we need Morty's books to prove fraud. 608 00:48:07,300 --> 00:48:10,900 I know where they are! Morty just bought Shelly a penthouse. 609 00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:14,500 - Now, figure out how to get in. - Duarto. 610 00:48:14,900 --> 00:48:17,900 Shelly has a new apartment that needs to be decorated. 611 00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:23,900 Gunilla, I'd adore it. 612 00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:28,300 Enchant�e. Au revoir, jolie! 613 00:48:28,600 --> 00:48:34,900 Gunilla Garson-Goldberg personally invited me to her society luncheon. 614 00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:37,100 Why? 615 00:48:39,100 --> 00:48:44,400 Gunilla Goldberg was happy helping us, she being a first wife herself. 616 00:48:44,800 --> 00:48:48,700 Indeed, Gunilla was a 1st, 2nd, 3rd - 617 00:48:49,100 --> 00:48:53,500 - and 4th wife, which accounted for her very comfortable surroundings. 618 00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:56,800 This is delicious! Usually I bring my own dressing. 619 00:48:57,100 --> 00:49:01,000 That fat-free ranch stuff, but this is restaurant quality. 620 00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:04,100 - Thank you. - Can I tell you something? 621 00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:06,500 When I first got your call, I said to Morty... 622 00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:11,300 "This just feels so right." Me and Gunilla. 623 00:49:11,700 --> 00:49:15,900 I used to work for Morty as his executive assistant. 624 00:49:16,300 --> 00:49:18,900 He was married to that nightmare then...Brenda - 625 00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:21,800 - a completely class-free dumpster woman. 626 00:49:22,100 --> 00:49:25,400 I said to him: "Morty, you' ve got to move on and move up." 627 00:49:25,800 --> 00:49:29,900 Now, here I am! Taste Central. 628 00:49:30,300 --> 00:49:36,800 The moment I saw you...my first impression was she's someone... 629 00:49:37,400 --> 00:49:41,100 See, that's what I told him. But he doesn't get it. 630 00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:44,700 - He doesn't get a lot of things. - Are you finished? 631 00:49:45,100 --> 00:49:48,000 - Yeah, I'm done. - Take the fork. 632 00:49:50,500 --> 00:49:52,200 Fork! 633 00:49:54,300 --> 00:50:01,300 All you need to enter society is some advice and a guiding hand. 634 00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:03,500 Like what? 635 00:50:03,900 --> 00:50:07,800 The correct florist and the utterly ideal chef. 636 00:50:08,100 --> 00:50:11,400 Of course, a decorator...of death. 637 00:50:13,300 --> 00:50:16,600 Your house is your calling card. It has to be perfected - 638 00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:19,500 - photographed, published. 639 00:50:19,800 --> 00:50:22,300 Can you really help me? I would kill for that. 640 00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:29,000 That's unnecessary. Just two words: Duarto Feliz. 641 00:50:29,500 --> 00:50:32,900 He is a genius. A gem! 642 00:50:34,500 --> 00:50:38,100 Of course, he's impossible to get. He works all the time. 643 00:50:43,900 --> 00:50:45,200 Oh, my God! 644 00:50:46,900 --> 00:50:48,600 There she is! Princess Pelvis. 645 00:50:48,900 --> 00:50:51,200 - Gunilla says she went for it. - Fabulous! 646 00:50:51,500 --> 00:50:53,300 Johnny, let's go. 647 00:50:53,600 --> 00:50:56,400 So, Duarto makes his move and Shelly falls for it. 648 00:50:56,700 --> 00:50:59,600 - Let's synchronize our watches. - Just like "Mission Impossible". 649 00:51:01,700 --> 00:51:04,800 - These people are always late. - Shut up, Morty, and stay shut up. 650 00:51:05,200 --> 00:51:08,500 - Take it easy. - What if he doesn't like us? 651 00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:12,200 - What are you worried about? Go on, answer the bell. 652 00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:19,500 - Okay! - Fine. 653 00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:31,000 Hello! Please, do come in. 654 00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:34,600 It's an honor and beyond. 655 00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:38,000 Gunilla Garson-Goldberg informs me you are my new best friend. 656 00:51:38,300 --> 00:51:41,700 - I hope! - Duarto Feliz...And may I? 657 00:51:42,100 --> 00:51:43,600 Please! 658 00:51:45,100 --> 00:51:46,900 Extraordinary! 659 00:51:49,100 --> 00:51:52,300 Interesting little touches everywhere. 660 00:51:53,600 --> 00:51:58,500 - What? - That chair is agony. 661 00:51:58,900 --> 00:52:00,800 - Morty, do something! - What? 662 00:52:01,100 --> 00:52:05,400 - Just cover it up. Get rid of it! -Take it easy. 663 00:52:05,900 --> 00:52:08,000 It's his chair. I didn't want that chair. 664 00:52:08,300 --> 00:52:10,700 - It's covered. - Thanks ever so much. 665 00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:13,500 Now, then... 666 00:52:14,900 --> 00:52:16,500 I feel... 667 00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:18,100 You feel... 668 00:52:18,400 --> 00:52:20,400 Light... 669 00:52:30,700 --> 00:52:32,400 - Get out. - What?! 670 00:52:32,700 --> 00:52:36,000 I need to be alone in this space for an hour, at least. 671 00:52:36,300 --> 00:52:38,600 It is very delicate. I must bond. 672 00:52:38,900 --> 00:52:41,900 - We understand. - I must have total access. 673 00:52:42,300 --> 00:52:45,200 - What is upstairs? - That's just the office. 674 00:52:45,500 --> 00:52:46,800 Le office. 675 00:52:47,200 --> 00:52:49,400 Stay out of le office! 676 00:52:49,700 --> 00:52:52,600 - Leave me one hour. - We understand. 677 00:52:53,000 --> 00:52:55,000 One hour! Thank you. 678 00:53:01,300 --> 00:53:02,900 Bye bye. 679 00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:08,200 Girls... Girls! Come on, hurry. 680 00:53:08,500 --> 00:53:13,300 - Ow, my knee, damn it. - We don't have much time. 681 00:53:13,900 --> 00:53:18,500 - Where are we going? - Honey, don't worry about it. 682 00:53:18,900 --> 00:53:20,800 Let's go in here. 683 00:53:21,700 --> 00:53:23,300 Here we go! In here. 684 00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:36,500 Brenda! 685 00:53:38,500 --> 00:53:40,300 There's an office upstairs. 686 00:53:40,500 --> 00:53:42,200 There's an office upstairs! 687 00:53:42,600 --> 00:53:44,400 - Let's go upstairs. - Good girl! 688 00:53:48,100 --> 00:53:50,000 I feel dizzy. 689 00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:56,800 Annie, check the computer. I'll check the files. 690 00:53:57,100 --> 00:53:59,400 I need the key. Where's the key? 691 00:54:05,700 --> 00:54:07,000 - Hello! - Ready. 692 00:54:11,500 --> 00:54:13,000 Come on, tax returns. 693 00:54:31,400 --> 00:54:32,600 What is this stuff? 694 00:54:42,600 --> 00:54:43,800 Got 'em! 695 00:54:46,300 --> 00:54:48,300 Come on, hustle, Morty. 696 00:54:48,700 --> 00:54:50,400 Social climbers on the rise. 697 00:54:50,700 --> 00:54:52,900 Oh, God! 698 00:54:53,200 --> 00:54:56,200 - They're back! They're back! - Stall them. 699 00:54:56,700 --> 00:54:59,400 - With what? - Make something up. lmprovise. 700 00:54:59,700 --> 00:55:01,100 - What's the matter with you? - I can't improvise. 701 00:55:01,400 --> 00:55:03,400 I'm putting the files right in here. 702 00:55:03,700 --> 00:55:07,200 Keep them away from the front door. 703 00:55:07,500 --> 00:55:11,100 - I'm clean. I'm clean. I'm clean. - Slap her. Slap her. 704 00:55:17,900 --> 00:55:19,200 Hello! 705 00:55:19,500 --> 00:55:23,300 I know you said an hour, but it's cold today and I couldn't stay away. 706 00:55:23,700 --> 00:55:24,900 - Tell me everything! - How much? 707 00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:28,900 I'll tell you what. We're going to look out the living room windows. 708 00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:32,600 Why? Because I'll tell you why. 709 00:55:33,000 --> 00:55:37,400 Windows are the eyes of a room. 710 00:55:37,800 --> 00:55:40,000 -So? - Oh, Duarto. 711 00:55:40,300 --> 00:55:44,400 The valance... The valance is our eyebrows. 712 00:55:44,900 --> 00:55:46,700 - The drapes are... - I gotta pee. 713 00:55:46,900 --> 00:55:48,900 You can't, you can't! 714 00:55:50,300 --> 00:55:54,800 Where was l? Oh, the drapes...are the eyelashes. 715 00:55:55,200 --> 00:55:58,600 You said windows were eyelashes. 716 00:56:01,500 --> 00:56:05,800 What do we do? Where do we go? 717 00:56:06,200 --> 00:56:08,500 The window. Come on. 718 00:56:14,900 --> 00:56:17,300 What do we do now? 719 00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:25,500 We'll get into this window washing thing and ride it down. 720 00:56:30,700 --> 00:56:34,100 - Annie... - You gotta go down, honey. 721 00:56:34,500 --> 00:56:38,200 - It's the only way out! - I have a fear of everything. 722 00:56:39,200 --> 00:56:43,000 - Come on, you're the new Annie. - Annie, watch! 723 00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:47,400 I'm going in first. I do all my own stunts. 724 00:56:55,100 --> 00:56:57,400 Gimme the controls! 725 00:56:59,100 --> 00:57:02,900 I can't do this! I can't stand this! 726 00:57:03,300 --> 00:57:05,200 Gotham's my inspiration. 727 00:57:05,500 --> 00:57:09,800 The white of the snow pelting the trees of Central Park. 728 00:57:10,200 --> 00:57:13,800 The yellow of the taxis. The blue... 729 00:57:14,100 --> 00:57:19,300 But who cares about blue? No one feels blue with my design. 730 00:57:19,700 --> 00:57:22,800 - Forget about that. - What about those drapes? 731 00:57:23,200 --> 00:57:25,800 The window meeting is over. It's time to consider the stairs. 732 00:57:26,100 --> 00:57:28,400 - What about that dumb fountain? - I rather like it. 733 00:57:28,700 --> 00:57:30,800 I'd rather look at the window. 734 00:57:34,800 --> 00:57:36,000 Oh, my God! 735 00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:42,700 -Is that Elise Eliot? - Elise, you look great! 736 00:57:43,100 --> 00:57:45,900 You look great! ! 737 00:58:14,300 --> 00:58:15,600 You want to go again? 738 00:58:17,700 --> 00:58:21,900 - Oh, my God! - I've never been so petrified. 739 00:58:22,300 --> 00:58:26,200 No, really, really...except for that one time. 740 00:58:26,600 --> 00:58:30,500 - I'm not going to tell you. - Why not? We won't judge you. 741 00:58:30,900 --> 00:58:33,500 We're your buddies. We cherish you. 742 00:58:33,800 --> 00:58:36,700 We would never ever make fun of you. Ever! Would we, hon? 743 00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:38,800 - No, no. - OK. 744 00:58:39,100 --> 00:58:44,400 All right. You remember Cynthia's 21st birthday? 745 00:58:44,800 --> 00:58:48,300 Her parents rented that big hall. 746 00:58:48,800 --> 00:58:51,200 We wanted to do something special for her. 747 00:58:51,500 --> 00:58:54,300 Elise thought we should be the entertainment. 748 00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:57,500 We were supposed to sing to her like a girl group. 749 00:58:57,900 --> 00:59:01,500 We sang that Leslie Gore song. Remember? We were a big hit. 750 00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:05,100 I hated it. I can't sing. I was terrified before all those people. 751 00:59:05,500 --> 00:59:08,300 I'd ratherjump off that building. 752 00:59:08,600 --> 00:59:11,200 - You were wonderful. - But it was for Cynthia. 753 00:59:11,500 --> 00:59:14,500 I remember that. We were a group. 754 00:59:14,900 --> 00:59:17,600 We are a group! We should do it and sing again. 755 00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:20,100 - Let's do it again. I wanna sing. - Why? 756 00:59:20,400 --> 00:59:22,600 Why not? We'll blend. We'll sing with you. 757 00:59:22,900 --> 00:59:26,200 - We'll blend! - All of us altogether, real loud, OK? 758 00:59:26,600 --> 00:59:29,300 You're gonna sing with me, all right? 759 00:59:29,700 --> 00:59:34,200 To Cynthia. Happy birthday wherever you are. 760 00:59:36,800 --> 00:59:38,500 All right, I'm ready. 761 00:59:41,400 --> 00:59:43,700 - Go! - Pick a note! 762 00:59:44,100 --> 00:59:46,100 You don't own me! 763 00:59:47,400 --> 00:59:50,300 I'm not just one of your many toys 764 00:59:50,600 --> 00:59:55,800 You don't own me! Don't say I can't go with other boys 765 00:59:58,500 --> 01:00:01,100 And don't tell me what to do! 766 01:00:01,400 --> 01:00:04,700 And don't tell me what to say! 767 01:00:07,600 --> 01:00:09,500 I sound horrible. I hate you for this. 768 01:00:14,100 --> 01:00:17,600 Hi, Mom, it's your little spy at the ad agency. 769 01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:21,200 I can't talk now, but have I got news for you! 770 01:00:21,500 --> 01:00:26,000 I think it's time you got back into the ad business. Call me. 771 01:00:28,500 --> 01:00:32,200 Bren? It's Annie. Listen to this. Aaron's partners want to sell- 772 01:00:32,700 --> 01:00:36,800 - their share of the ad agency. I could buy it if I had the money. 773 01:00:37,300 --> 01:00:40,500 Can you imagine? God, Aaron would die. 774 01:00:43,200 --> 01:00:48,200 It's Brenda. Annie needs a down payment for an ad agency. 775 01:00:48,600 --> 01:00:51,100 Any idea where she can get the money? 776 01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:56,600 So, Elise sold me Bill's things at a very reasonable price. 777 01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:59,200 And I put it all up for auction. 778 01:00:59,500 --> 01:01:02,700 Your sale has generated a great deal of excitement. 779 01:01:03,100 --> 01:01:05,600 I want to raise funds for my organization. 780 01:01:05,900 --> 01:01:08,500 However, some lots may fail to sell. 781 01:01:08,900 --> 01:01:10,700 I wouldn't worry about that. 782 01:01:10,900 --> 01:01:13,400 At $380,000 for the Lichtenstein. 783 01:01:13,800 --> 01:01:17,100 $380,000, selling then. Fair warning of $380,000. 784 01:01:17,400 --> 01:01:19,200 Paddle 3-7-2. 785 01:01:20,600 --> 01:01:23,900 $380,000 for that? 786 01:01:24,300 --> 01:01:28,100 Lot 55 is the Louis chaise canape showing here on my left.... 787 01:01:28,500 --> 01:01:31,300 And I have $45,000 on the telephone. 788 01:01:31,600 --> 01:01:33,100 - It's gorgeous. - Fabulous. 789 01:01:33,400 --> 01:01:34,800 Absolutely sublime. 790 01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:37,500 It doesn't look very comfy. Morty likes his recliner. 791 01:01:37,900 --> 01:01:40,800 ...in place now at $ 48,000. $50,000 at the desk now. 792 01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:44,000 $50,000...$55,000. The lady's bid up front now. 793 01:01:44,300 --> 01:01:47,800 My God, did you see who bid? That's Elise Eliot. 794 01:01:48,200 --> 01:01:51,300 She has impeccable taste...for an actress. 795 01:01:51,600 --> 01:01:55,400 Fair warning then at $55,000. 796 01:01:55,800 --> 01:01:59,400 - It's a fabulous chaise. - I don't know. 797 01:01:59,700 --> 01:02:03,100 That sofa? Architectural Digest. The cover! 798 01:02:03,600 --> 01:02:06,400 - Really? - You? Guaranteed! 799 01:02:06,700 --> 01:02:10,400 $60,000 this side! New bidder now at $60,000. 800 01:02:10,800 --> 01:02:13,200 Lot is yours, madam, at $60,000. 801 01:02:13,600 --> 01:02:14,800 You, madam, $60,000. 802 01:02:17,400 --> 01:02:19,800 - I got a chaise. - Beautiful! 803 01:02:22,800 --> 01:02:27,000 Lot 57, the fine Yung Che charger showing here and $90,000 to start. 804 01:02:27,400 --> 01:02:30,300 $90,000 is bid. Thank you, sir. $90,000...$100,000! 805 01:02:30,600 --> 01:02:33,500 New bidder now, $110,000. The lady's bid here now. 806 01:02:33,800 --> 01:02:37,300 $115,000. Thank you, sir. $115,000. 807 01:02:38,400 --> 01:02:40,400 - It's cute. - It's sublime. 808 01:02:40,700 --> 01:02:44,300 - Essential! - Oxygen! 809 01:02:44,700 --> 01:02:47,500 $125,000. The lady's bid now at 125. 810 01:02:47,800 --> 01:02:50,900 Need a new face now. $125,000 up front. 811 01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:54,800 - $130,000. New bidder up front. - Elise Eliot must be very rich. 812 01:02:55,100 --> 01:02:59,100 - Show business. - Teach her a lesson. Come on. 813 01:02:59,500 --> 01:03:03,900 At $130,000. 130... $135,000 at the back! 814 01:03:04,300 --> 01:03:06,200 New bidder now. $135,000. 815 01:03:07,200 --> 01:03:10,300 $135,000. Lady's bid at the back. 816 01:03:10,800 --> 01:03:13,900 - Who is she? She looks familiar. - Just someone glamorous. 817 01:03:14,200 --> 01:03:18,800 Some Euro-trash. Shelly, you can't let that plate leave the US. 818 01:03:19,200 --> 01:03:22,700 - It's Japanese. - Don't they have enough? 819 01:03:23,900 --> 01:03:29,500 $135,000. The bidder's here at the back at $135,000. 820 01:03:30,400 --> 01:03:33,000 Lady's bid at the back at $135,000. 821 01:03:33,300 --> 01:03:35,900 It's yours now at $135,000 822 01:03:36,200 --> 01:03:38,300 Bidder's here at the back. 823 01:03:38,600 --> 01:03:41,200 - Go ahead! - Aber gehen Sie! 824 01:03:45,200 --> 01:03:48,000 Jackie O had one just like it. 825 01:03:50,500 --> 01:03:53,700 $140,000 up front now. $140,000... 826 01:03:54,000 --> 01:03:55,400 ...against you at the back, madam. 827 01:03:55,700 --> 01:03:57,700 $140,000...$140,000. 828 01:03:58,900 --> 01:04:01,700 For you, madam, paddle 560. 829 01:04:03,500 --> 01:04:06,300 Thank you, thank you. 830 01:04:07,500 --> 01:04:12,600 Shelly, what happened here? $140,000 for a plate? 831 01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:16,300 $47,000 for a carpet? A used carpet? 832 01:04:16,700 --> 01:04:19,800 $300,000 for a Lamborghini? Are you crazy? 833 01:04:20,100 --> 01:04:23,900 I bought the car for you. It was only 300 grand. It was a gift. 834 01:04:24,300 --> 01:04:26,200 With my money you bought it! I bought me the gift! 835 01:04:26,500 --> 01:04:28,600 Jesus, I want a lifestyle! 836 01:04:28,900 --> 01:04:32,000 With some ambiance and some classic, eternal good taste. 837 01:04:32,300 --> 01:04:35,200 But not for $300,000, Shelly! 838 01:04:44,600 --> 01:04:47,500 I can leave if you like. 839 01:04:47,900 --> 01:04:51,800 It's not like you've asked me to marry you. 840 01:04:53,500 --> 01:04:55,000 Would you... 841 01:04:55,900 --> 01:04:58,100 ...unzip me? 842 01:05:02,200 --> 01:05:04,200 Thank you. 843 01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:09,700 Shel, I lost my temper. I'm sorry. The Lamborghini is a very good deal. 844 01:05:15,300 --> 01:05:18,900 - Hi, Jase. How was the game? - Knicks lose again. 845 01:05:19,200 --> 01:05:23,100 Every player on that team is a millionaire. They can't really lose. 846 01:05:23,500 --> 01:05:25,500 - What do you think? - That's not new, is it? 847 01:05:25,900 --> 01:05:29,200 It's better than new. It's the first time it's fit me in 3 years. 848 01:05:29,700 --> 01:05:32,700 Look at me! I have a waist, legs... Who knew? 849 01:05:33,000 --> 01:05:34,500 How's your father? Did you have fun? 850 01:05:34,800 --> 01:05:38,600 - Yeah, but don't let that bother you. - What a thing to say! 851 01:05:38,900 --> 01:05:43,700 Jason, look. I remember how great it was when we were a family. 852 01:05:44,200 --> 01:05:46,900 Even though we're not together now, you still have both of us. 853 01:05:47,200 --> 01:05:50,700 You guys can't even pick out my birthday card without a lawyer. 854 01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:55,000 Jason, I know you worry about your father. 855 01:05:55,400 --> 01:05:59,000 He's a very good man. 856 01:05:59,400 --> 01:06:04,300 He's a very good, very confused man. 857 01:06:05,700 --> 01:06:08,500 But you don't have to worry about me - 858 01:06:08,900 --> 01:06:12,200 - because I'm going to be fine. I'm lightening up, literally. 859 01:06:12,600 --> 01:06:17,300 And you know what? Your father and I love you to pieces. 860 01:06:17,800 --> 01:06:21,600 - There, did I embarrass you? - Almost. 861 01:06:22,700 --> 01:06:25,300 You want to go to a movie? Me and you? 862 01:06:25,700 --> 01:06:29,200 - Together...in public? - Mom, I'm sorry. 863 01:06:29,500 --> 01:06:34,000 I was a little freaked out by Dad getting engaged to Shelly. 864 01:06:36,800 --> 01:06:42,500 Oh, well... I can see how that would rip your heart out. 865 01:06:43,900 --> 01:06:45,800 Thanks, Mom. 866 01:07:06,000 --> 01:07:07,700 We gotta nail Bill. 867 01:07:08,000 --> 01:07:10,400 We gotta...slaughter him. 868 01:07:10,800 --> 01:07:12,600 Right off the face of the planet. 869 01:07:12,900 --> 01:07:16,800 Him and that tramp. That infant. 870 01:07:17,200 --> 01:07:20,300 - I need a drink. - Holy moly, she's loaded. 871 01:07:20,600 --> 01:07:23,900 I know. I'm really worried. She had me look at Bill's records - 872 01:07:24,300 --> 01:07:26,100 - and the guy's a saint. He's clean. 873 01:07:26,300 --> 01:07:30,500 - He's a saint with a great lawyer. - What? 874 01:07:30,900 --> 01:07:34,500 Are you saying you can't find anything on him? 875 01:07:34,900 --> 01:07:38,400 - I'm really sorry. I'll look again. - This isn't fair. 876 01:07:38,800 --> 01:07:42,900 Aaron's going to be massacred. Morty's won't know what hit him - 877 01:07:43,300 --> 01:07:46,300 - and Bill's just gonna walk away. With alimony! 878 01:07:46,700 --> 01:07:48,200 We'll keep trying, Elise. 879 01:07:48,500 --> 01:07:53,000 You'd better keep trying because this is my life and my money! 880 01:07:53,400 --> 01:07:56,500 What do you know? You don't get it. You're civilians. 881 01:07:56,800 --> 01:07:58,700 You're just housewives. 882 01:07:59,000 --> 01:08:01,000 - That's it! - No, wait. 883 01:08:01,300 --> 01:08:02,900 You'll never understand. 884 01:08:03,200 --> 01:08:06,000 Gimme that. Excuse me. Give that back. 885 01:08:06,300 --> 01:08:09,200 I say this with love compassion and true sisterhood. 886 01:08:09,600 --> 01:08:11,800 You are full of shit! 887 01:08:13,200 --> 01:08:14,500 What? 888 01:08:14,700 --> 01:08:16,100 OK, alimony sucks. 889 01:08:16,400 --> 01:08:19,200 OK, you didn't get to play a policewoman in a Wonderbra. 890 01:08:19,600 --> 01:08:20,900 But you grew up gorgeous. 891 01:08:21,200 --> 01:08:24,400 Thanks to Cher's pioneering efforts, you still haven't hit puberty. 892 01:08:24,700 --> 01:08:26,600 Once you were a terrific actress. 893 01:08:26,900 --> 01:08:28,600 You even got an Oscar to prove it. 894 01:08:29,000 --> 01:08:31,500 You spent your whole life with people sucking up to you. 895 01:08:31,900 --> 01:08:36,800 I'm sure Annie agrees with me that your perception of life is a bit altered. 896 01:08:37,300 --> 01:08:41,700 - Annie, do you agree with her? - Come on! 897 01:08:42,500 --> 01:08:43,900 Brenda, she's very upset. 898 01:08:44,200 --> 01:08:46,700 - Two pinheads! - Wait a minute. 899 01:08:47,100 --> 01:08:48,900 You've got some nerve. 900 01:08:49,100 --> 01:08:52,200 I drink because I'm a sensitive and highly strung person. 901 01:08:52,600 --> 01:08:54,600 No! That's why your co-stars drink! 902 01:08:54,900 --> 01:08:56,600 I am not a drunk! 903 01:08:56,900 --> 01:09:00,100 Really? Let's examine the evidence. 904 01:09:00,400 --> 01:09:02,800 Look, all bottles! 905 01:09:03,100 --> 01:09:05,300 And gallon jugs. 906 01:09:05,700 --> 01:09:08,300 - I had guests. - Who? Guns 'N' Roses? 907 01:09:08,600 --> 01:09:10,100 Come on, you two. 908 01:09:10,400 --> 01:09:14,300 The enemy's out there, not in here, and we are best friends! 909 01:09:14,700 --> 01:09:17,100 After all those years, you never called me. 910 01:09:17,400 --> 01:09:20,200 - You were unlisted! - You always gossip behind my back. 911 01:09:20,500 --> 01:09:21,800 - You deserve it! - You didn't invite me... 912 01:09:22,100 --> 01:09:25,000 - ...to your son's Bar Mitzvah. - You wouldn't have come. 913 01:09:25,300 --> 01:09:28,000 - Yeah, it was in Hebrew. - Oh, shut up! 914 01:09:28,500 --> 01:09:31,000 You think a movie star doesn't have feelings. 915 01:09:31,300 --> 01:09:33,800 You're wrong! I do have feelings. 916 01:09:34,100 --> 01:09:36,600 I'm an actress! I have all of them. 917 01:09:36,900 --> 01:09:42,000 I wouldn't understand. I'm just a housewife and a child to raise. 918 01:09:42,400 --> 01:09:46,500 You were always jealous of me 'cause I was blonde, beautiful and talented. 919 01:09:46,900 --> 01:09:50,000 - And I could have any guy I wanted. - And did! Every guy! 920 01:09:50,400 --> 01:09:52,700 Most of the senior class and half the faculty. 921 01:09:53,000 --> 01:09:54,300 It was the 1960s. 922 01:09:54,500 --> 01:09:57,200 Look at this place. Is this where your fan club meets? 923 01:09:57,700 --> 01:09:59,400 Do you have ritual sacrifices? 924 01:09:59,600 --> 01:10:00,800 Put that down! 925 01:10:01,900 --> 01:10:03,900 - I won that! - I remember. 926 01:10:04,300 --> 01:10:06,400 - Your first "talkie". - What did you ever win? 927 01:10:06,700 --> 01:10:10,200 A pie-eating contest? Best Ingestion. 928 01:10:12,700 --> 01:10:14,600 Oh, no... 929 01:10:14,900 --> 01:10:16,500 Brenda! 930 01:10:16,800 --> 01:10:18,700 This is a Golden Globe. 931 01:10:19,000 --> 01:10:20,300 It's sacred! 932 01:10:20,600 --> 01:10:22,800 It's...trademarked! 933 01:10:25,200 --> 01:10:28,700 - Are you crazy? - Stop it. Both of you! 934 01:10:29,000 --> 01:10:33,200 Annie. You choose! Who's your friend? Me or Brenda? 935 01:10:33,600 --> 01:10:36,000 For once, make a decision. Who's your buddy? 936 01:10:36,300 --> 01:10:37,800 Some Beverly Hills science project... 937 01:10:38,100 --> 01:10:40,200 ...or a woman with her own aisle at the supermarket. 938 01:10:40,500 --> 01:10:42,900 I'm sorry, but I'm not getting involved with this. 939 01:10:43,200 --> 01:10:45,300 You both have severe psychological problems. 940 01:10:45,600 --> 01:10:50,300 I'm... I'm the nice one here. I'm not like this. 941 01:10:50,800 --> 01:10:52,000 - What? - Yes. 942 01:10:52,300 --> 01:10:54,100 - The nice one? - Well, I mean I... 943 01:10:54,400 --> 01:10:56,700 - You mean the rag mop, don't ya? - Excuse me! 944 01:10:57,000 --> 01:10:59,700 The one who can't manage a simple declarative sentence! 945 01:11:00,000 --> 01:11:02,100 The wimp! The wuss! 946 01:11:02,500 --> 01:11:05,800 Well...I changed. I'm much stronger than I used to be. 947 01:11:06,200 --> 01:11:08,600 You are self-righteous! You pipsqueek. 948 01:11:09,000 --> 01:11:10,600 Shut up, you arthritic sex kitten. 949 01:11:10,900 --> 01:11:13,200 - Shut up, Morty's girl. - Monique's mom! 950 01:11:13,500 --> 01:11:16,600 Stop it! You're both selfish assholes. 951 01:11:22,100 --> 01:11:25,600 - Oh, my face! Oh, my God. - That is enough. 952 01:11:26,000 --> 01:11:28,400 Have we forgotten what we're doing here? 953 01:11:28,800 --> 01:11:29,800 What has happened to us? 954 01:11:30,100 --> 01:11:35,900 We're supposed to help each other, not rip each other to shreds. 955 01:11:37,400 --> 01:11:39,100 She's right. 956 01:11:40,600 --> 01:11:45,500 You know, I gotta say I always wondered - 957 01:11:45,900 --> 01:11:48,800 - how drunk Cynthia was when she decided - 958 01:11:49,100 --> 01:11:52,000 - to do a jackknife onto Park Ave. 959 01:13:26,400 --> 01:13:29,000 - Mom. - What's wrong? I came right over. 960 01:13:29,400 --> 01:13:33,200 Things are not working out the way I planned. 961 01:13:33,500 --> 01:13:35,600 And you called me? 962 01:13:35,900 --> 01:13:38,700 Oh, my God! 963 01:13:53,300 --> 01:13:57,700 I don't know. It's just completely falling apart. 964 01:13:58,100 --> 01:14:00,700 We're at each other's throats. 965 01:14:01,100 --> 01:14:04,600 It's like it's all my fault. I'm just useless. 966 01:14:05,000 --> 01:14:08,100 - You are not! - Honey, I am. 967 01:14:08,500 --> 01:14:12,100 The past few weeks you've been a totally different person. 968 01:14:12,400 --> 01:14:15,500 You've stopped apologizing for yourself all the time. 969 01:14:15,900 --> 01:14:17,400 I know. I'm sorry, honey. 970 01:14:17,600 --> 01:14:21,600 This First Wives Club thing can't work and it never could. 971 01:14:22,100 --> 01:14:23,900 You make it work. It can. You can make it work. 972 01:14:24,200 --> 01:14:26,000 Call Brenda and Elise. 973 01:14:26,300 --> 01:14:29,000 I can't call them. What will I say to them? 974 01:14:29,400 --> 01:14:31,500 This is just... I should have seen this. 975 01:14:31,900 --> 01:14:33,200 I should've seen this coming. 976 01:14:33,500 --> 01:14:37,300 I know. Why not write each of them a note! 977 01:14:39,400 --> 01:14:41,500 Or maybe send a hanging plant. 978 01:14:44,400 --> 01:14:46,400 Just a suggestion. 979 01:14:47,700 --> 01:14:49,500 No, Mom. 980 01:14:49,800 --> 01:14:52,600 No, it's over. It's over. 981 01:15:10,000 --> 01:15:11,600 Brenda? 982 01:15:12,000 --> 01:15:14,800 I don't want to be like Cynthia. 983 01:15:19,500 --> 01:15:21,600 - I'm sorry. - It's OK. 984 01:15:24,700 --> 01:15:26,500 Come on in. 985 01:15:27,500 --> 01:15:31,200 - I've never been to your apartment. - I know. 986 01:15:34,600 --> 01:15:37,100 - Annie! - Annie! 987 01:15:40,300 --> 01:15:42,600 Annie, what are you doing? 988 01:15:42,900 --> 01:15:44,200 Elise, it's your loft. 989 01:15:44,500 --> 01:15:47,100 I'm storing some things or I'll burn them if you want. 990 01:15:47,400 --> 01:15:49,700 - But why? - Why? Are you kidding? 991 01:15:50,000 --> 01:15:52,700 We've completely embarrassed ourselves. 992 01:15:53,100 --> 01:15:55,200 We've become exactly what the world thinks we are. 993 01:15:55,400 --> 01:15:58,800 And our ex-husbands! We are "The Three Witches". 994 01:15:59,200 --> 01:16:02,500 Witches? Well, I'll tell you something! 995 01:16:02,900 --> 01:16:04,200 - Witches have powers. - What? 996 01:16:04,400 --> 01:16:06,800 They do! They've powers for good and evil. 997 01:16:07,100 --> 01:16:08,400 Brenda and I are OK now. 998 01:16:08,700 --> 01:16:12,100 We've figured out what we think we know what we want. 999 01:16:12,400 --> 01:16:15,100 I know what went wrong. The whole crackpot idea went wrong. 1000 01:16:15,500 --> 01:16:18,700 Revenge and egos... Thinking we could fix our silly lives. 1001 01:16:19,000 --> 01:16:21,700 - Exactly! We were thinking too small. - What are you talking about? 1002 01:16:22,000 --> 01:16:24,800 We were trying to get back at our ex's, which is a start - 1003 01:16:25,200 --> 01:16:27,700 - but it isn't enough. It's so petty and limited! 1004 01:16:28,000 --> 01:16:29,300 No wonder we're snarling at each other. 1005 01:16:29,500 --> 01:16:31,700 No wonder we're at each other's throats. Listen! 1006 01:16:32,100 --> 01:16:34,100 We have to take our plan and expand it. 1007 01:16:34,300 --> 01:16:36,100 First thing, we take care of our own guys - 1008 01:16:36,400 --> 01:16:39,600 - because they really have it coming. Then...we go global! 1009 01:16:40,000 --> 01:16:41,300 How? 1010 01:16:41,500 --> 01:16:43,000 Are you interested because I'll tell you. 1011 01:16:43,300 --> 01:16:44,600 I don't know if I'm interested. 1012 01:16:44,900 --> 01:16:46,200 What if we erupt again? 1013 01:16:46,400 --> 01:16:49,300 Or Elise, what if you start drinking, and, Brenda, you start sniping? 1014 01:16:49,700 --> 01:16:50,900 - Been there! - Done that! 1015 01:16:51,200 --> 01:16:52,800 - It's not enough for me. - Annie... 1016 01:16:53,100 --> 01:16:55,700 Take a good look at Elise. Look at her! 1017 01:16:56,000 --> 01:16:59,500 I'm sober. And I'm going to do the play. 1018 01:17:00,000 --> 01:17:03,000 - Really? - I'll be there front row opening night. 1019 01:17:03,300 --> 01:17:05,200 Our friendship is everything. Don't leave. 1020 01:17:05,600 --> 01:17:07,200 We can't fall apart now. 1021 01:17:07,500 --> 01:17:10,100 But even if we want to, we don't have enough information. 1022 01:17:10,400 --> 01:17:13,300 Of course, we do have stuff on Aaron and Morty. 1023 01:17:13,700 --> 01:17:16,400 But what about Bill? We're still on square one. 1024 01:17:16,700 --> 01:17:21,700 No, not exactly. I admit all he's done so far is legal... 1025 01:17:22,100 --> 01:17:24,100 ...as far as he knows. 1026 01:17:24,400 --> 01:17:27,900 - What do you mean? - It's all a question of angles. 1027 01:17:28,300 --> 01:17:30,400 - Are you in? - Are you back? 1028 01:17:32,300 --> 01:17:36,000 - Talk. - Well... After you. 1029 01:17:39,200 --> 01:17:46,000 I'm seriously thinking of taking the role of Monique's Mom. 1030 01:17:48,300 --> 01:17:51,000 And I've been thinking about who she is - 1031 01:17:51,300 --> 01:17:55,100 - what she's about. I'm sure you're doing the same thing with Monique. 1032 01:17:55,500 --> 01:17:59,100 Sure. I've been thinking like, streaks... 1033 01:17:59,400 --> 01:18:01,000 ...just around my face. 1034 01:18:01,300 --> 01:18:02,800 Oh! 1035 01:18:03,900 --> 01:18:06,900 And what a beautiful face. 1036 01:18:08,300 --> 01:18:11,700 Anyway, the reason I called is if we're going to work together - 1037 01:18:12,200 --> 01:18:15,100 - I think we should get to know one another. 1038 01:18:15,400 --> 01:18:16,700 It's important. 1039 01:18:18,000 --> 01:18:19,600 Bill is so wrong. 1040 01:18:19,900 --> 01:18:23,200 - You are not Satan. - Oh, stop! 1041 01:18:25,200 --> 01:18:30,200 Do you need a TV or a VCR or a personal computer? 1042 01:18:30,700 --> 01:18:33,000 Who's the first name in top quality - 1043 01:18:33,300 --> 01:18:34,800 - low-cost appliances? 1044 01:18:35,100 --> 01:18:37,400 Let's ask this beautiful young lady here. 1045 01:18:37,700 --> 01:18:39,700 - Excuse me, ma'am. - Why, hello! 1046 01:18:40,100 --> 01:18:41,500 - Hello. - Hi. 1047 01:18:41,800 --> 01:18:46,300 I'm in the market for a low-quality, top-cost appliance. 1048 01:18:46,700 --> 01:18:48,200 - Cut! - Shelly. 1049 01:18:48,500 --> 01:18:51,000 Top-quality, low-cost. 1050 01:18:52,700 --> 01:18:54,600 - Morton Cushman. - Yeah, why? 1051 01:18:54,900 --> 01:18:56,200 You have the right to remain silent. 1052 01:18:56,500 --> 01:19:00,000 What's going on here? I'm shooting a commercial. 1053 01:19:00,300 --> 01:19:02,600 Federal Marshals acting on behalf of the IRS. 1054 01:19:02,900 --> 01:19:04,200 Bobby, call my lawyer. 1055 01:19:09,900 --> 01:19:13,900 On November 28th, at exactly 1400 hours - 1056 01:19:14,300 --> 01:19:18,400 - Operation Hell's Fury swung into action. 1057 01:19:31,700 --> 01:19:33,900 - Morning. - Hi. 1058 01:19:34,200 --> 01:19:37,800 - How's my day shaping up? - Poor Daddy, it's going to be hell. 1059 01:19:38,200 --> 01:19:40,400 Your 9 o'clock's waiting in the conference room. 1060 01:19:40,700 --> 01:19:41,900 Okie-dokie. 1061 01:19:48,900 --> 01:19:50,200 So, where do I stand here now? 1062 01:19:50,500 --> 01:19:54,100 We'll also bill the expenses including but not limited to... 1063 01:19:56,700 --> 01:19:58,400 What is this? 1064 01:20:14,500 --> 01:20:16,500 Miss Eliot. Please... 1065 01:20:16,800 --> 01:20:20,600 - I'm begging you. Please. - Brett, we love the new draft... 1066 01:20:20,900 --> 01:20:23,500 Phoebe's crazy about it. She's going to read it. 1067 01:20:24,000 --> 01:20:25,300 Elise, I'm trying to make a movie here. 1068 01:20:25,500 --> 01:20:27,700 - Hold your calls. - That was an important phonecall. 1069 01:20:28,000 --> 01:20:32,200 - Where's my first check? - Just sit down and shut up! OK? 1070 01:20:32,600 --> 01:20:35,400 Now, let's take a meeting. 1071 01:20:40,100 --> 01:20:42,900 - Hello, Sunshine! - Welcome. 1072 01:20:43,300 --> 01:20:44,700 This is kidnaping. 1073 01:20:44,900 --> 01:20:46,500 I will crucify you. 1074 01:20:46,800 --> 01:20:48,700 You want to talk crucifixion? 1075 01:20:49,500 --> 01:20:50,900 Happy Easter, Morty. 1076 01:20:54,600 --> 01:20:56,900 - Big deal! - Letters from Brenda's father... 1077 01:20:57,200 --> 01:21:01,000 ...about stocking your stores with stolen merchandise. 1078 01:21:01,400 --> 01:21:04,800 - What do they call it in the tabloids? - "Hot stuff". 1079 01:21:05,200 --> 01:21:08,400 Criminal activity. You should be ashamed. 1080 01:21:08,700 --> 01:21:11,300 Wake up and smell the audit. 1081 01:21:11,700 --> 01:21:15,400 Aaron, I just had a little talk with Erik and Marc. 1082 01:21:15,800 --> 01:21:18,300 It seems the business is very dysfunctional. 1083 01:21:18,600 --> 01:21:20,800 Sort of like our marriage. 1084 01:21:21,100 --> 01:21:22,700 So... 1085 01:21:23,000 --> 01:21:24,500 I bought them out. 1086 01:21:26,100 --> 01:21:27,600 What? 1087 01:21:28,300 --> 01:21:32,100 - Yeah, I think we ought to go. - That's a good idea. 1088 01:21:32,600 --> 01:21:35,000 - Goodbye, Erik. - Good luck to you. 1089 01:21:36,100 --> 01:21:37,600 - Annie - Oh, Marc. 1090 01:21:38,000 --> 01:21:40,400 - Love ya. - I do love that suit. 1091 01:21:44,500 --> 01:21:48,300 You couldn't possibly pull off something like this. 1092 01:21:48,600 --> 01:21:49,900 Where did you get this kind of money? 1093 01:21:50,200 --> 01:21:53,300 As agreed, I sold our assets to a friend of mine. 1094 01:21:53,700 --> 01:21:55,600 Here's your half. 1095 01:21:56,900 --> 01:21:58,100 Fifty cents? 1096 01:21:58,500 --> 01:22:02,600 Considering our history together, I thought a dollar was very fair. 1097 01:22:04,300 --> 01:22:08,900 Oh, all right! Take it all. 1098 01:22:09,300 --> 01:22:11,200 - What do you want? Money? - Every cent. 1099 01:22:11,600 --> 01:22:13,000 You're out of your mind. 1100 01:22:13,300 --> 01:22:15,000 You can hand it over and live happily ever after. 1101 01:22:15,200 --> 01:22:17,700 You can give it to the government and get 10 to 20. 1102 01:22:18,100 --> 01:22:19,700 Maybe Duarto can do your cell. 1103 01:22:19,900 --> 01:22:23,300 I see...bars. 1104 01:22:23,700 --> 01:22:25,300 You can't do this to me. 1105 01:22:25,600 --> 01:22:27,500 - But I have done it. - You wouldn't. 1106 01:22:27,900 --> 01:22:29,800 You...couldn't. 1107 01:22:30,000 --> 01:22:33,300 It seems I could and I did. 1108 01:22:33,700 --> 01:22:37,100 You know what, Aaron? I forgot how much fun work can be. 1109 01:22:37,500 --> 01:22:39,800 If you take my agency from me, I'll walk. 1110 01:22:40,200 --> 01:22:42,700 - I'll take my clients with me. - Be my guest. 1111 01:22:43,000 --> 01:22:46,400 I'm not kidding! I will take every single account. 1112 01:22:46,700 --> 01:22:49,400 This place without me.... 1113 01:22:49,800 --> 01:22:53,100 - It would be worthless. - I don't think so, babe. 1114 01:22:53,400 --> 01:22:57,600 Not after the new $45,000,000 account I just landed. 1115 01:22:58,900 --> 01:23:00,800 New account? What account? 1116 01:23:01,100 --> 01:23:03,000 Morty's Electronics will be under my control. 1117 01:23:03,300 --> 01:23:05,800 Advertising, marketing strategy... Everything! 1118 01:23:06,100 --> 01:23:11,000 You will stay on as President, because after all...you are Morty. 1119 01:23:11,400 --> 01:23:14,600 You will receive a salary which will keep you in the lifestyle - 1120 01:23:15,000 --> 01:23:18,300 - to which I think you should become accustomed. 1121 01:23:18,700 --> 01:23:22,200 I don't see what else you can do. It's this orjail. 1122 01:23:22,600 --> 01:23:25,900 So I dumped you for another woman. Get over it! 1123 01:23:26,300 --> 01:23:28,600 Lift something. Wax something. Have something peeled. 1124 01:23:29,000 --> 01:23:32,100 You're right! I hate to admit it, but I'm jealous. 1125 01:23:32,500 --> 01:23:36,600 Miss Lavelle is absolutely gorgeous. She's a bright new star. 1126 01:23:37,100 --> 01:23:40,000 lnterested, Elise? Want to drink her blood? 1127 01:23:40,300 --> 01:23:43,700 How old is she, Bill? 25? 26? 1128 01:23:44,100 --> 01:23:46,400 - 21. - Yeah. 1129 01:23:47,100 --> 01:23:51,600 In about five years! She's 16. 1130 01:23:52,000 --> 01:23:53,800 - What? - Two years ago... 1131 01:23:54,100 --> 01:23:58,300 ...she left high school in Newkirk, Idaho. 1132 01:23:58,800 --> 01:24:01,700 Should've done your homework, Bill. I did. 1133 01:24:02,000 --> 01:24:07,200 - A copy of her birth certificate. - Oh, God. I didn't know. 1134 01:24:07,700 --> 01:24:10,200 My God! What are you going to do? 1135 01:24:10,500 --> 01:24:14,200 What am I going to do? 1136 01:24:14,500 --> 01:24:20,300 Right now, I'm just using the "f" word. Felony! 1137 01:24:20,800 --> 01:24:24,200 I think we should continue this discussion in my office. 1138 01:24:24,700 --> 01:24:26,300 In your office? Is that all you can do? 1139 01:24:26,500 --> 01:24:28,000 Think of yourself, yourself, yourself! 1140 01:24:28,400 --> 01:24:30,700 If you go through with this, I'll have nothing. 1141 01:24:31,000 --> 01:24:32,600 Everyone in town is looking for the new guy. 1142 01:24:32,900 --> 01:24:34,100 How can I compete? 1143 01:24:34,500 --> 01:24:37,100 Who else is going to want me? I'm 46 years old. 1144 01:24:37,400 --> 01:24:39,100 I'd have to start from scratch. 1145 01:24:39,500 --> 01:24:41,800 I know just how you feel. 1146 01:24:43,700 --> 01:24:45,300 Oh, Aaron... 1147 01:24:49,700 --> 01:24:51,400 Grow from love. 1148 01:24:56,300 --> 01:24:58,300 Annie McDuggan FIRST WIVES CLUB 1149 01:24:58,500 --> 01:25:02,900 I don't hate you. I wish I could. But you're still kind of cute - 1150 01:25:03,300 --> 01:25:07,700 - for a overbearing, cradle-robbing Spandex-sucking criminal. 1151 01:25:08,100 --> 01:25:09,900 So, I'm not going to take all your money. 1152 01:25:10,200 --> 01:25:11,800 Don't misunderstand. I'm going to take plenty. 1153 01:25:12,100 --> 01:25:16,300 And I'm going to hang onto these because I have a favor to ask. 1154 01:25:16,700 --> 01:25:18,800 Be there in two hours! 1155 01:25:19,100 --> 01:25:21,900 While we were married, I helped you. 1156 01:25:22,200 --> 01:25:24,200 Now it's your turn to help others. 1157 01:25:24,500 --> 01:25:26,400 - Where are you going? - To see Barbara Walters. 1158 01:25:26,700 --> 01:25:29,300 - Oh, my God! - Scared? 1159 01:25:29,700 --> 01:25:31,200 You won't talk about this, will you? 1160 01:25:31,600 --> 01:25:33,700 That depends on you. 1161 01:25:34,000 --> 01:25:37,300 Be there at that address in two hours, babe! 1162 01:25:39,100 --> 01:25:41,500 What Brenda meant by thinking globally- 1163 01:25:41,800 --> 01:25:45,400 - was that it wasn't enough to make our ex-husbands suffer. 1164 01:25:45,800 --> 01:25:48,800 To do the truly charitable, unselfish thing - 1165 01:25:49,100 --> 01:25:51,800 - we'd have to make them suffer over and over again. 1166 01:25:52,100 --> 01:25:54,100 - So, what are you guys in for? - Gentlemen! 1167 01:25:54,500 --> 01:25:56,900 And Daddy. 1168 01:26:06,600 --> 01:26:11,700 Honey...what's going on? I can't handle more surprises today. 1169 01:26:15,600 --> 01:26:17,500 Oh, Daddy... 1170 01:26:17,900 --> 01:26:20,900 I'm a lesbian... 1171 01:26:21,200 --> 01:26:23,300 A big one. 1172 01:26:27,400 --> 01:26:30,700 Gentlemen, we've brought you here today for a specific reason. 1173 01:26:31,000 --> 01:26:34,400 This is not about retaliation or negotiation - 1174 01:26:34,800 --> 01:26:38,200 - and this is not about men versus women. 1175 01:26:38,600 --> 01:26:41,700 What is it then? I'm sick of this, OK. 1176 01:26:42,100 --> 01:26:45,600 - Please don't make her mad. - No, no, this is not a revenge thing. 1177 01:26:46,000 --> 01:26:48,000 This is about justice. 1178 01:26:48,400 --> 01:26:51,100 Halfway through this operation we realized - 1179 01:26:51,500 --> 01:26:55,100 - the only people who'd be helped by revenge would be us. 1180 01:26:55,400 --> 01:26:58,600 - We'd be no better than you. - Happier but no better. 1181 01:26:59,000 --> 01:27:02,100 Exhilarated but no better! Ecstatic but no better! 1182 01:27:02,500 --> 01:27:03,700 So we thought again. 1183 01:27:04,000 --> 01:27:06,800 A very dear friend of ours died from neglect. 1184 01:27:07,100 --> 01:27:10,100 You're going to help us make sure that never happens again. 1185 01:27:10,500 --> 01:27:12,700 - Like hell we are. - Can't make us. 1186 01:27:13,000 --> 01:27:16,200 No... but Vito can. Joey can. 1187 01:27:16,500 --> 01:27:18,800 And Uncle Carmine can. 1188 01:27:27,500 --> 01:27:29,900 - What do we have to do? - You have to pay. 1189 01:30:01,600 --> 01:30:04,200 The funny thing was when we finally had our ex's just where we wanted - 1190 01:30:04,500 --> 01:30:07,000 - revenge didn't seem so important. 1191 01:30:07,300 --> 01:30:10,500 So, we came up with something better. 1192 01:30:15,100 --> 01:30:19,200 It's an important day here in New York City for all women - 1193 01:30:19,600 --> 01:30:24,100 - at the opening of the Cynthia Griffin Crisis Center for Women. 1194 01:30:24,500 --> 01:30:28,900 It's an amazing facility and I'm here talking to three amazing women. 1195 01:30:29,300 --> 01:30:31,600 Please tell me about your facility. 1196 01:30:31,900 --> 01:30:36,600 This center is dedicated in memory to our very dear friend Cynthia Swann. 1197 01:30:37,000 --> 01:30:39,600 We plan on offering counseling - 1198 01:30:40,000 --> 01:30:43,900 - family therapy and, of course, abuse intervention for all. 1199 01:30:44,200 --> 01:30:46,800 So many women are in need here in Manhattan. 1200 01:30:47,200 --> 01:30:51,600 Can I ask whether it's true that the idea for this center started because - 1201 01:30:52,000 --> 01:30:55,300 - each of you had a husband that left you for a younger woman? 1202 01:30:55,700 --> 01:30:57,000 Yes, yes. 1203 01:30:57,400 --> 01:31:00,300 They really are amazing women. Good for you! 1204 01:31:00,600 --> 01:31:04,600 Congratulations for all the great work. New York thanks you. 1205 01:31:13,000 --> 01:31:16,700 I'm asking you as a favor. Come in for one minute with me. 1206 01:31:17,700 --> 01:31:20,200 - We have to talk about the wedding. - What are you talking about? 1207 01:31:20,500 --> 01:31:22,200 - You won't even set a date. - Exactly. 1208 01:31:22,500 --> 01:31:25,300 Because this isn't working. I am not feeling special. 1209 01:31:25,600 --> 01:31:29,400 I am not feeling loved. And now this place. 1210 01:31:29,800 --> 01:31:32,600 Morty, I am not Brenda. 1211 01:31:33,900 --> 01:31:36,800 - No, you're not! - Duh! 1212 01:32:06,200 --> 01:32:07,300 Ivana... 1213 01:32:08,400 --> 01:32:10,900 I want to thank you for coming so much. 1214 01:32:11,200 --> 01:32:12,900 - You're an angel. - Of course, Elise. 1215 01:32:13,200 --> 01:32:14,600 Thank you so much again. 1216 01:32:14,900 --> 01:32:17,100 Ladies, you have to be strong and independent. 1217 01:32:17,400 --> 01:32:19,200 - And remember? - What? 1218 01:32:19,400 --> 01:32:21,900 Don't get mad. Get everything! 1219 01:32:26,600 --> 01:32:28,600 - Mrs. Goldberg? - Yes. 1220 01:32:28,900 --> 01:32:31,500 Carmine Morelli... Brenda's uncle. 1221 01:32:32,600 --> 01:32:35,800 - Yes, of course. - Nice to meet you. 1222 01:32:45,100 --> 01:32:49,200 What a wonderful occasion! Helping people through a buffet! 1223 01:32:49,600 --> 01:32:51,900 - Mom, it's a great party. - Thank you, sweetie. 1224 01:32:52,200 --> 01:32:56,900 You know, Annie, this place is terrific. 1225 01:32:57,300 --> 01:33:01,100 I think you did the right thing, divorcing Aaron. 1226 01:33:01,500 --> 01:33:03,400 I salute you. 1227 01:33:03,700 --> 01:33:05,100 I have something to add. 1228 01:33:05,300 --> 01:33:09,500 Annie, you're not getting any younger. Or thinner. 1229 01:33:10,000 --> 01:33:13,600 - You know what I think you need? - No. 1230 01:33:14,000 --> 01:33:15,900 Absolutely nothing! 1231 01:33:18,300 --> 01:33:22,300 Baby... Sweetheart! 1232 01:33:30,100 --> 01:33:32,700 Come on, Jason. Just one time around the floor. 1233 01:33:33,100 --> 01:33:36,600 - Come on. Get real. - I'm your mother. I command you. 1234 01:33:36,900 --> 01:33:39,600 You gotta have something to tell your shrink. 1235 01:33:43,500 --> 01:33:46,200 Look at this. Isn't this fantastic? I'm so proud. 1236 01:33:46,500 --> 01:33:47,800 - Hi, kids. - Hi, Morty. 1237 01:33:48,100 --> 01:33:51,200 Dad, save me. She's trying to dance with me. 1238 01:33:51,500 --> 01:33:52,900 Leave him alone. He's a good kid. 1239 01:33:53,200 --> 01:33:55,900 - I know that. - Not like his Dad. 1240 01:33:56,200 --> 01:33:59,400 - What? - I'm getting out of the line of fire. 1241 01:34:05,100 --> 01:34:07,700 - You look good, Bren. - You too. 1242 01:34:08,000 --> 01:34:10,300 - Thank you. - Where's Shel? 1243 01:34:10,600 --> 01:34:13,100 - In the car. - Glove compartment? 1244 01:34:14,100 --> 01:34:15,800 Trunk. 1245 01:34:18,000 --> 01:34:19,800 Let me ask you a question. 1246 01:34:20,100 --> 01:34:21,400 Was I this old when we were married? 1247 01:34:21,800 --> 01:34:24,800 Yes. But I liked you this old. 1248 01:34:25,100 --> 01:34:26,800 Me too. 1249 01:34:44,800 --> 01:34:46,800 - Wanna? - Sure. 1250 01:34:52,400 --> 01:34:57,400 It was clear that Brenda and Morty were headed for a reconciliation. 1251 01:34:57,800 --> 01:35:00,400 Elise was dating an actor in her hit play. 1252 01:35:00,800 --> 01:35:04,100 As for me, Aaron and Dr. Rosen split up. 1253 01:35:04,400 --> 01:35:07,300 He wants to come home again and he feels emotionally ready- 1254 01:35:07,700 --> 01:35:11,800 - to recommit to an equitable and caring relationship. 1255 01:35:12,200 --> 01:35:14,500 I told him to drop dead. 1256 01:35:23,500 --> 01:35:27,000 - Excuse me, got a light? - Sure. 1257 01:35:27,400 --> 01:35:31,400 - Nice car. Used to have one myself. - Thanks. 1258 01:35:31,700 --> 01:35:35,500 So, what's going on in there? Is it just lot of battered women dancing? 1259 01:35:36,000 --> 01:35:38,400 Yeah, sort of. Not really my scene. 1260 01:35:38,700 --> 01:35:40,400 Me, neither. 1261 01:35:42,000 --> 01:35:44,000 So, you here with anybody? 1262 01:35:45,400 --> 01:35:49,000 - Not really. - How old are you? 1263 01:35:51,700 --> 01:35:55,400 Look at this place. It's just a total mess. 1264 01:35:55,800 --> 01:35:59,600 - But a gorgeous mess. - You know, I can't believe it. 1265 01:36:00,000 --> 01:36:04,300 We actually did it. We accomplished it together. 1266 01:36:04,700 --> 01:36:06,800 I know. We did it. 1267 01:36:07,100 --> 01:36:10,500 Oh, God, I wish Cynthia was here. 1268 01:36:10,800 --> 01:36:13,300 She is... She is in a way. 1269 01:36:15,600 --> 01:36:18,900 OK, we're 1990s women. What is it we really, really need? 1270 01:36:19,400 --> 01:36:22,700 - You are never going to change. - And I hope not. 1271 01:36:23,000 --> 01:36:25,900 I hope we never change and we always stay the same... 1272 01:36:26,300 --> 01:36:28,300 Tired and happy. 1273 01:36:28,600 --> 01:36:31,600 - Maybe a little bit brave. - Brave? 1274 01:36:31,900 --> 01:36:34,900 - You mean, "brave". - What do you mean? 1275 01:36:37,500 --> 01:36:39,900 - You don't own me -You're not funny! 1276 01:36:40,300 --> 01:36:41,700 No way. I'm out. 1277 01:36:42,800 --> 01:36:45,400 Stop it! No, I'm not gonna... 1278 01:36:45,800 --> 01:36:48,700 - You don't own me - Leave me alone. 1279 01:36:49,000 --> 01:36:52,400 Don't say I can't go with other boys 1280 01:36:58,800 --> 01:37:01,800 And don't tell me what to do 1281 01:37:02,200 --> 01:37:04,600 And don't tell me what to say 1282 01:37:04,900 --> 01:37:07,600 And when I go out with you 1283 01:37:08,000 --> 01:37:10,200 Don't put me on display 1284 01:37:10,500 --> 01:37:13,000 - Pretty good! - You remembered! 1285 01:37:13,300 --> 01:37:18,300 You don't own me! Don't try to change me in any way 1286 01:37:18,700 --> 01:37:21,100 You don't own me 1287 01:37:21,400 --> 01:37:24,400 Don't tie me down 'cause I'll never stay 1288 01:37:26,000 --> 01:37:28,600 I don't tell you what to say 1289 01:37:29,000 --> 01:37:31,500 I don't tell you what to do 1290 01:37:31,800 --> 01:37:34,500 So just let me be myself 1291 01:37:34,800 --> 01:37:37,200 That's all I ask of you 1292 01:37:37,500 --> 01:37:39,900 I'm young and I love to be young 1293 01:37:40,300 --> 01:37:42,800 I'm free and I love to be free 1294 01:37:43,100 --> 01:37:45,600 To live my life the way that I want 1295 01:37:46,000 --> 01:37:48,500 To say and do whatever I please 104589