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1
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:15,306
(all gasp)
2
00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:17,600
Oh, God, Oh, God.
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.
3
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:20,103
This is bad. This is very bad.
I'm not supposed to be here.
4
00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:21,938
I have a pottery class at 0900!
5
00:00:22,021 --> 00:00:23,982
Hey, just calm down.
We don't know what this is.
6
00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:26,943
Are you kidding me?! Creepy
stone walls, jagged metal bars.
7
00:00:27,026 --> 00:00:29,320
This has alien prison
written all over it.
8
00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:30,572
A prison?
Nah. No way, man.
9
00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:32,949
-This is a dungeon.
-That's even worse!
10
00:00:33,032 --> 00:00:35,744
Hello? Can someone give us
some context in here, please?
11
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:38,538
A dungeon?! But we
didn't do anything. Did we?
12
00:00:38,621 --> 00:00:39,789
(gasps)
Oh.
13
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,833
I've been replicating
a lot of ice.
14
00:00:41,916 --> 00:00:43,001
Are we not supposed to do that?
15
00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:44,294
I really like ice.
16
00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:45,462
I saw the captain
and the bridge crew
17
00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:46,629
get taken into another room.
18
00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:48,631
What if they
were replicating ice, too?!
19
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:50,425
Guys, this is basically a resort
20
00:00:50,508 --> 00:00:51,926
compared to what
the Klingons do to you.
21
00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:53,303
I'm sure it's not a big...
22
00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:56,097
(all shouting, gasping)
23
00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:59,559
♪ ♪
24
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,953
♪ ♪
25
00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:55,365
♪ ♪
26
00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:13,675
(drums beating)
27
00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:15,969
(gruff alien chanting)
28
00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:17,262
(crew stammering)
29
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,764
-Uh, hi?
-Oh, man,
30
00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:21,599
they have all of our commanders
suspended in a beam!
31
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,228
-They must be on trial.
-For what?
32
00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:28,064
(clanging, zapping)
33
00:02:28,147 --> 00:02:30,608
Fellow Primes!
34
00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:33,945
These Federation witnesses
have been brought before you
35
00:02:34,028 --> 00:02:35,572
to speak truth
36
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,448
about the senior officers
37
00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:41,202
of the Federation starship
Cerritos.
38
00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:43,204
(murmuring)
39
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:44,747
I-I didn't witness anything.
Did you?
40
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:45,915
I don't know. What's the
difference between witnessing
41
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:46,916
and just lookin' at something?
42
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:50,837
You will speak only
into the Horn of Candor!
43
00:02:53,047 --> 00:02:56,092
With this horn,
one of our most sacred horns,
44
00:02:56,175 --> 00:02:59,053
you must only speak the truth.
45
00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:00,555
Happy to be here.
(chuckles)
46
00:03:00,638 --> 00:03:01,890
I-I don't even know
what we're supposed
47
00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:03,099
to be telling the truth about.
48
00:03:03,182 --> 00:03:05,977
The first to give testimony
will be
49
00:03:06,060 --> 00:03:08,730
Ensign Beckett Mariner.
50
00:03:08,813 --> 00:03:10,899
Ship logs state
you were present on the bridge
51
00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:13,902
when the Cerritos made contact
with the Clicket ship Tweerk
52
00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:18,239
on stardate 57818.4.
53
00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:21,367
Uh, I was, but I don't know
what you want me to...
54
00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:23,786
Tell us
of those wondrous events!
55
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:26,414
Okay. It started off
as a usual day.
56
00:03:26,497 --> 00:03:28,958
We were just hanging out.
I mean, we were just doing work
57
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,460
in the repair bay.
58
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:33,087
Roga Danar?
Are you nuts?
59
00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:35,423
I said "Who's
the all-time biggest badass?"
60
00:03:35,506 --> 00:03:37,133
not "Who's a dude
nobody's heard about?"
61
00:03:37,216 --> 00:03:38,927
Uh, everyone knows Roga Danar.
62
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:41,137
-No, they don't.
-He totally outsmarted Picard,
63
00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:42,472
and he has amazing hair!
64
00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:44,307
Well, what about Khan, right?
65
00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:46,809
Khan was a genetically
engineered supervillain!
66
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:48,603
Dude was a space seed.
67
00:03:48,686 --> 00:03:50,271
Ooh, ooh, pause for a second.
I want to talk about Khan
68
00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:52,315
and that thicc, thicc chest,
but I got to pee.
69
00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:54,651
-(door whooshes open,
alarm wailing in distance)
-Roga Danar.
70
00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:56,653
-Get the (bleep) out of my face.
-(door whooshes shut)
71
00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,321
Guys, the ship's at red alert.
72
00:03:58,404 --> 00:03:59,405
Uh, no, it isn't.
73
00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:00,782
Yeah, that's impossible.
74
00:04:00,865 --> 00:04:02,825
I messed with our speakers
so they'd be extra loud
75
00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:04,452
during a red alert.
We'd know for sure.
76
00:04:04,535 --> 00:04:07,622
You messed
with the red alert speakers?
77
00:04:07,705 --> 00:04:09,082
(gasping, panting)
78
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,459
-(alarm wailing)
-(screaming)
79
00:04:11,542 --> 00:04:13,378
Uh, it's, like, red alert
everywhere except here!
80
00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:14,504
-Rutherford!
-Aw, man.
81
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:16,631
Oh, we're gonna get
in such big trouble for this.
82
00:04:16,714 --> 00:04:17,840
We have to get to our stations!
83
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:19,384
(panting)
84
00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:21,511
Gah, why did we have
to have bridge duty today?
85
00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:22,845
We're gonna walk in
and everyone's gonna be
86
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,889
-lookin' at us.
-No, they won't. Just chill.
87
00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:26,516
Okay, we'll just explain what
happened and why we're late.
88
00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:27,725
It'll-it'll be fine.
89
00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:29,102
You want Rutherford fired?
No.
90
00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:30,520
Just follow my lead, all right?
We'll fake it.
91
00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:32,021
-Fake what?!
-It!
92
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,189
I'm not faking on the bridge.
93
00:04:33,272 --> 00:04:34,232
That's insane!
94
00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:35,525
The captain already knows
what she wants you to do,
95
00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:36,609
so just nod and agree with her,
96
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:38,486
or we'll all end up
getting kicked off the ship
97
00:04:38,569 --> 00:04:39,487
and then we'll have
to live on Earth,
98
00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:40,530
where there's nothing to do
except drink wine
99
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:43,032
and hang out at vineyards
and soul food restaurants!
100
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,201
(alarm continues blaring)
101
00:04:45,284 --> 00:04:47,370
Ugh, these guys are maniacs.
102
00:04:47,453 --> 00:04:48,705
Captain, what happened?
103
00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:51,207
They just randomly attacked me
for thanking them.
104
00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:54,460
(shouts)
This injustice will not stan.
105
00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:56,504
We gave you the map,
and now you turn on us?!
106
00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:59,090
Captain, this is all
a misunderstanding.
107
00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:02,593
I simply showed gratitude for
your map of the Neutral Zone.
108
00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:04,387
Gratitude?!
How dare you!
109
00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:05,555
-(quietly): Who is this guy?
-Who cares, man?
110
00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:06,723
Bug alien.
Roll with it.
111
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:08,224
I meant no offense.
112
00:05:08,307 --> 00:05:10,268
I think your people have
a different definition
113
00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:11,269
of "gratitude."
114
00:05:11,352 --> 00:05:13,396
Give us back the map!
115
00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:15,773
Ugh, this guy is really buggin'!
116
00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:16,899
Mariner, what do you think?
117
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:19,193
I think you know exactly how
to handle this, Captain.
118
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:20,695
You're right about that.
119
00:05:20,778 --> 00:05:22,864
Ensign Boimler,
I want options.
120
00:05:22,947 --> 00:05:24,866
Uh, about the-- this alien guy?
121
00:05:24,949 --> 00:05:26,242
Yes. Obviously.
122
00:05:26,325 --> 00:05:28,786
Uh, what specifically do
you wish to know?
123
00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:29,912
Aw, come on, man!
124
00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:32,290
This is your chance to prove
you got what it takes!
125
00:05:32,373 --> 00:05:34,417
(clears throat) Oh! Well,
I-I don't know, uh, who, uh--
126
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:35,418
Well, the truth is...
127
00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:36,919
Uh, I think we should do,
128
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,422
uh, what you want to do, Cap'n.
129
00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:40,423
Cap'n's choice.
130
00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:42,759
I'm not asking you
to kiss my ass.
131
00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,469
Come on.
No wrong answers.
132
00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:46,721
Uh, okay.
We could do evasive maneuver
133
00:05:46,804 --> 00:05:47,722
eighty...
134
00:05:47,805 --> 00:05:49,640
eight...?
135
00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:51,434
Is he (bleep)ing serious?
136
00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:52,393
That was the wrong answer!
137
00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:54,395
-I meant 84.
-In this situation?
138
00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,064
-Are you crazy?
-Mariner!
139
00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:57,440
Have you
not been paying attention?
140
00:05:57,523 --> 00:05:58,441
That could get us killed.
141
00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:00,276
(chuckles): No, no, no, no.
I was kidding.
142
00:06:00,359 --> 00:06:03,613
Let's just-- Let's use the
impulse drive to... Crazy Ivan.
143
00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:05,990
-Ugh! Who the hell
is he talking about?
-What in the world is that?!
144
00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:07,992
-What?
-That's insane.
-But-but-but-but...
145
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:09,911
Son,
you're embarrassing yourself.
146
00:06:09,994 --> 00:06:12,163
You got a lot to learn.
Mariner,
147
00:06:12,246 --> 00:06:14,791
why don't you send
our friends a message.
148
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:16,709
Good call, Captain.
149
00:06:19,253 --> 00:06:20,838
-What?!
-Are you insane?!
-What the hell are you doing?!
150
00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:22,757
You said "Send them a message."
That means phasers!
151
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:24,801
It means to send them a message
to invite them to dinner!
152
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:26,010
No, it doesn't!
153
00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:28,763
(grunts)
Target their bridge!
154
00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:31,140
-(grunting)
-CLAR: Stop! Stop!
155
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:32,475
What are you talking about?!
156
00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:33,851
What? I'm just telling you
what happened.
157
00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:36,395
You expect me to believe
a Starfleet officer
158
00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:38,606
wouldn't know what's going on
with their ship
159
00:06:38,689 --> 00:06:40,149
at all times?!
160
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:42,151
Look, I'm not proud of it,
but yeah.
161
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,528
What about the map?
162
00:06:43,611 --> 00:06:44,821
Tell me about the map!
163
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:45,863
Uh, there was a map?
164
00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:47,824
That's the most important part!
165
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:49,867
Dude, look, I work
on a spaceship, all right?
166
00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:52,829
We don't have maps.
We have stellar cartography.
167
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:54,497
What is wrong with you?!
168
00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:56,499
Place her
in the Tank of Contempt!
169
00:06:56,582 --> 00:06:58,376
(gasping, whimpering)
170
00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:02,171
Oh! We got eels.
There's eels over here.
171
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,506
Mariner's not lying!
I was there!
172
00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:04,674
We didn't see a map!
173
00:07:07,301 --> 00:07:10,429
Perhaps this is
a misunderstanding.
174
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:12,390
You may go un-eeled.
175
00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:13,349
For now.
176
00:07:13,432 --> 00:07:16,018
(whoops)
Better luck next time, eels.
177
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:18,479
Why does this guy care so much
about a map of the Neutral Zone?
178
00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:19,981
Yeah, it's so neutral.
179
00:07:20,064 --> 00:07:21,858
Yeah, like, what would you
even do with a map like that?
180
00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:23,526
(chuckles nervously)
I have no idea.
181
00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:25,695
Ensign Samanthan Rutherford,
182
00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:27,405
perhaps you
can illuminate me more
183
00:07:27,488 --> 00:07:29,532
than your unobservant
compatriots.
184
00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:31,492
Um, well, I mean,
my cyborg implant
185
00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:33,286
does give me perfect memory.
(chuckles)
186
00:07:33,369 --> 00:07:34,704
That will be of great use!
187
00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:40,418
Tell me of stardate 57791.1.
188
00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:43,296
All right.
Stardate 5779, eh-- Hey.
189
00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:44,755
Wait, are you sure
you want that one?
190
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:47,717
Just 'cause I have
so many great stardates in here.
191
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,385
Other than that one.
(chuckles)
192
00:07:49,468 --> 00:07:50,887
I want the one I said!
193
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:53,556
Uh, you're not gonna like it.
194
00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:54,557
So, there I was,
195
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,350
rotating the EPS capacitors.
196
00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:57,894
See, they overheat
when you leave them
197
00:07:57,977 --> 00:07:59,061
facing one direction too long.
198
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:02,106
♪ Rotate, rotate,
rotating all day long ♪
199
00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:03,649
-♪ While singing
my rotation... ♪
-Ah. There he is!
200
00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,401
Hey, sirs!
You want to rotate with me?
201
00:08:05,484 --> 00:08:06,652
Maybe sing a little song?
202
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:07,737
If you heard the one earlier...
(chuckles)
203
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:10,781
No! Does your implant
have Romulan flight manuals
204
00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:12,408
-and repair information?
-Uh, not right now.
205
00:08:12,491 --> 00:08:14,410
-I'd need to update it.
-Then do it. Now!
206
00:08:14,493 --> 00:08:17,246
Uh, well, usually I like
to update it while I'm asleep
207
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,915
'cause it kind of messes
with my...
208
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:21,918
-No! Do it now!
-You do it right this second!
209
00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:24,212
-Okeydokey.
-(trilling)
210
00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:25,880
IMPLANT:
30 seconds until restart.
211
00:08:25,963 --> 00:08:27,882
-Is it done yet?!
-What? No. It just started.
212
00:08:27,965 --> 00:08:29,425
While we wait, I'll fill you in
on the plan.
213
00:08:29,508 --> 00:08:31,260
Oh, uh, first off:
do you have all your shots?
214
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:33,679
-Wait. Which shots?
Like, with needles?
-Ten seconds.
215
00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:35,389
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on. Let me just...
216
00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:37,433
We don't want you getting
Dinobulan flesh-eating bacteria
217
00:08:37,516 --> 00:08:39,435
-on your pe...
-Hold up just a second.
My implant is also...
218
00:08:39,518 --> 00:08:41,562
-It'll eat right
through your underpants.
-My what?!
219
00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:43,272
I've seen it happen.
Terrible way to die.
220
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,815
-Restarting Rutherford.
-Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
221
00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:47,860
-Wait, wait, wait.
-(whirring)
222
00:08:49,153 --> 00:08:52,156
Whoa. I think I blacked out
223
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,408
and lost a little bit of time
during that update.
224
00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:57,119
Great work nerve-pinching
those Vulcans, baby bear.
225
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:59,080
Who knew you'd be better
at it than they are?
226
00:08:59,163 --> 00:09:01,165
-I did? But I don't know how
to nerve-pinch.
-Ha!
227
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:03,292
Tell that to Spock and Spock.
228
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:04,502
Oh, when my implant
was rebooting,
229
00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:06,003
it must have taken control.
230
00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:08,130
We're entering the atmosphere.
Brace for turbulence.
231
00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:09,966
Sirs, you don't understand.
I don't know what's going on.
232
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:12,802
When we're in the museum, our
window's gonna be really tight.
233
00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,971
-Museum?
-We have to deploy now!
234
00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:17,306
-No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
-(grunts)
235
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,809
(yelling)
236
00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:22,520
Verifying update. System will
restart in three seconds.
237
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:28,276
(Rutherford groans)
238
00:09:28,359 --> 00:09:30,987
-Ah! Romulan Bird-of-Prey?
-SHAXS: Quiet!
239
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:33,364
(grunting)
240
00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:35,616
We don't want
to draw any attention.
241
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:38,286
-From who? What are we doing?
What's happening?
-Hey!
242
00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:39,662
What are you two doing
back here?
243
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:41,122
You've drawn my attention.
244
00:09:41,205 --> 00:09:42,623
Distract him
with the fan dance!
245
00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:44,959
I'm sorry. My what now?
246
00:09:45,042 --> 00:09:48,504
-Dance, boy! Dance!
-Ooh. Ooh. Yeah.
247
00:09:48,587 --> 00:09:50,131
Feels good, feels right...
248
00:09:50,214 --> 00:09:52,675
Hey! Stop that!
Now you're distracting me!
249
00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:55,970
(rhythmic grunting)
Right. Right.
250
00:09:56,053 --> 00:09:57,847
I want the regular fan dance!
251
00:09:57,930 --> 00:09:59,015
What are you doing?!
252
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:00,641
My best. (yelling)
253
00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:02,810
IMPLANT:
Verifying download.
254
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,230
Aah! What the heck?!
255
00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:10,192
Hello? How am I standing
in space? (grunts)
256
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:13,738
-(thudding, whooshing)
-Huh?
257
00:10:13,821 --> 00:10:16,449
Ah. (laughs)
258
00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:19,035
Cloaked Bird-of-Prey.
Wait. Did I steal this?!
259
00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:21,829
-Aah, Mark Twain's got a gun!
-Billups! Oh, man, are you okay?
260
00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:24,332
-Tasha, no!
The garbage bag's behind you!
-Oh, no.
261
00:10:24,415 --> 00:10:26,208
Sir,
you have nitrogen intoxication.
262
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:27,752
You only have 60 seconds
of air left!
263
00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:30,755
(panting, grunting)
264
00:10:30,838 --> 00:10:33,215
Stop goofing around!
Get in here!
265
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,717
Verifying update.
System restart in ten second.
266
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:38,220
-(yelling)
-(mumbles)
267
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,514
Watch it!
No, no, no, over there!
268
00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:43,684
Stupid... cloaked Bird.
269
00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:45,561
(groaning)
270
00:10:45,644 --> 00:10:47,021
-Updating Klingon fonts.
-What?!
271
00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:48,439
-Why do I even need that?
-(beeping)
272
00:10:48,522 --> 00:10:50,024
SHAXS:
Watch out for the controls!
273
00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:52,234
They're set to...
274
00:10:59,867 --> 00:11:01,911
(gasps)
Gorn wedding!
275
00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:03,913
(growling)
276
00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:06,457
Aah! Get me out of here,
implant! (groans)
277
00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:08,709
(laughs)
Nice try, Gorns!
278
00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:13,756
(Rutherford sighs)
279
00:11:13,839 --> 00:11:15,424
(yells)
It's still the Gorn wedding?
280
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:18,386
Ouch. Help! Help!
Come on, Gorns, please!
281
00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:19,720
CLAR:
A Gorn wedding?!
282
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:21,764
How has this become
about a Gorn wedding?!
283
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:23,391
What are you avoiding?
284
00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:24,767
Look, I'm just telling you
the events
285
00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:26,936
of stardate 57791.1, all right?
286
00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:28,729
Damn. Rude.
287
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:31,941
I want details on how
you stole the Bird-of-Prey!
288
00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:33,234
I know, man. Me, too!
289
00:11:33,317 --> 00:11:34,944
Wait. Why would Shaxs
make him steal
290
00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:37,405
some old Bird-of-Prey? What
would they even do with that?
291
00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:40,324
Beats me. I mean,
it could be for anything.
292
00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:42,159
Like, who even knows? (laughs)
293
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:44,662
-Take him!
-(whimpers)
294
00:11:44,745 --> 00:11:46,414
Eels?!
295
00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:47,832
Dude, are you not
paying attention?
296
00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:50,000
-Hey! Leave them alone!
-Oh?
297
00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:51,836
Well, perhaps you,
Ensign D'vana Tendi,
298
00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:55,965
can prove more illuminating.
299
00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:03,264
Oh, I've always wanted
to testify about stuff!
300
00:12:03,347 --> 00:12:04,807
This is so cool!
301
00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:06,267
Hi, everyone!
302
00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:07,726
Don't talk to them!
303
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:10,312
Have you
and Commander Jack Ransom
304
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:12,982
ever set foot
in the Romulan Neutral Zone?
305
00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:14,692
I can't tell you that.
306
00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:17,194
Oh, come on!
This is an easy one!
307
00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:19,947
Why are you making this
so difficult?
308
00:12:20,030 --> 00:12:22,408
-(yelling)
-Tendi, just tell him
what he wants!
309
00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:24,827
All right, fine! But this was
a classified mission,
310
00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:26,787
so I'll have
to leave some things out.
311
00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:30,291
I had just been given
a major assignment.
312
00:12:30,374 --> 00:12:32,168
Mariner! Mariner, guess what?
313
00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:33,836
I get to tidy
the conference rooms!
314
00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:35,504
Ah! What should I wear?
315
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,298
Probably just my uniform, right?
316
00:12:37,381 --> 00:12:39,341
Ugh! How are you so excited?
317
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,677
You know you're just gonna be
wiping cat fur off chairs.
318
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:42,803
Uh, do you know how many
big decisions happen
319
00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:44,054
in those conference rooms?
320
00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:45,347
That's where
they talk about the Borg.
321
00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:46,849
You can talk about the Borg
anywhere.
322
00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:49,185
Yeah, but when you do it
in a conference room,
323
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:52,104
it becomes a conference.
324
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:55,357
(groans) I never get
to clean the conference room.
325
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:57,359
(humming)
326
00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:59,695
(gasps)
Wow.
327
00:12:59,778 --> 00:13:01,405
The captain's chair.
328
00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:03,782
Oh, I'm gonna make you
extra clean. Huh?
329
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:05,576
Secure the room,
Lieutenant (bleep).
330
00:13:05,659 --> 00:13:07,745
-Yes, sir.
-CLAR: Okay, stop.
331
00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:10,122
You can't omit details
like that!
332
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:12,666
Yeah, but I already did, so...
333
00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:14,668
Are you so stubborn
334
00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:17,421
that you're willing
to risk death by eels?
335
00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:19,215
Yes, that's correct.
336
00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:21,842
Then continue.
337
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:24,386
You must be The Cleaner.
338
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:26,555
Yes, sirree.
And happy to be here.
339
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,891
Glad to have you. This
mission is highly classified.
340
00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:30,392
From here on out,
you're (bleep)
341
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:32,269
-and (bleep).
-Wow.
342
00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:33,854
All right, everybody,
listen up. I'm serious.
343
00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:35,564
This is important.
If we're captured...
344
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,566
TENDI:
He's glad to have me!
345
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:40,736
Gosh, it's just so nice
to be recognized for my work.
346
00:13:40,819 --> 00:13:43,447
And cleaning the conference room
is important. I knew it.
347
00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:45,115
Wait, I should be
paying attention.
348
00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:47,284
This is why we got
matching tattoos.
349
00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:48,869
-10-4.
-Lock and load.
350
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:50,704
We're (bleep) for life.
351
00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:52,248
Check out this map.
It's gonna lead us
352
00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:54,750
straight into the Neutral Z...
(bleep) ...one.
353
00:13:54,833 --> 00:13:56,252
The Neutral what, now?
354
00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:57,586
RANSOM:
The package is located here.
355
00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:00,256
Guards are stationed
here and here on weekends.
356
00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:03,092
If we run into trouble,
Cleaner will extract us.
357
00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:05,094
Let's (bleep) this (bleep) up!
358
00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:07,429
(whooping, hollering)
359
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:08,931
(whoops)
Yeah...
360
00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:11,976
Phaser rifles.
(chuckles)
361
00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:14,270
RUTHERFORD: Oh, snap!
That's the ship from my stor!
362
00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:16,105
TENDI: (sighs) I knew
I should have made it clear
363
00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:17,439
that I wasn't supposed
to be there,
364
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,608
but every time I was about to...
365
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,944
So, here is a very funny thing.
366
00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:25,614
Um, I think that there was
a misunderstanding,
367
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:28,409
-and I...
-Everyone quiet!
They're scanning the area.
368
00:14:31,870 --> 00:14:33,622
-Ah...
-That was close.
369
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,291
We're lucky we have this
Bird-of-Prey, or we'd be toast.
370
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:36,667
Uh, but what
I was saying was...
371
00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:38,586
Shh! They're scanning again.
372
00:14:40,879 --> 00:14:42,756
They stopped scanning.
Cleaner, what was that?
373
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:46,010
-What I was saying was...
-Oh, no, they're scanning!
374
00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:47,845
Okay, now they're not
scanning anymore.
375
00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:49,513
-Anything important... Whoa!
-What I was...
376
00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:51,265
REDACTED:
Stop! I'm picking up scannin!
377
00:14:51,348 --> 00:14:53,142
Okay, they're done scanning.
Oh, God!
378
00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:54,602
They're scanning again!
379
00:14:54,685 --> 00:14:55,769
No, no. That was on me.
380
00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,938
That was wrong. No, I wasn't!
381
00:14:58,022 --> 00:14:59,315
(grumbles)
382
00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:06,614
Uh, so, a-about me
being "the cleaner..."
383
00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:09,700
Yeah, yeah. At your age,
it's very impressive.
384
00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:14,705
Comm silence from here on out.
385
00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:17,166
(exhales)
386
00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:19,835
TENDI:
Whoa.
387
00:15:19,918 --> 00:15:22,838
-You know who I hate? Remans.
-Oh, they're the worst.
388
00:15:22,921 --> 00:15:24,006
-(both shouting)
-TENDI: Sorry.
389
00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:25,424
(blows landing)
390
00:15:25,507 --> 00:15:27,635
Apologizing to the enemy?
391
00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:29,511
-That's cold, Cleaner.
-You're playing
392
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:32,139
some real (bleep) up mind games.
393
00:15:38,937 --> 00:15:40,648
-Stay here, cover our six.
-Six what?
394
00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:41,940
Copy.
395
00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:45,319
(thudding)
396
00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:48,530
Is that the package?
397
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:51,158
Cleaner, do your thing!
398
00:15:51,241 --> 00:15:52,910
What's my thing? I have a thing?
What's my thing?!
399
00:15:52,993 --> 00:15:55,496
(yelling)
400
00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:01,085
Whoa, I thought she was
just supposed to beam us
401
00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:02,836
-out of here.
-She was.
402
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,798
I do not know what's going
on here. This is crazy.
403
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,384
Congrats, boys.
404
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:10,344
The package is safely on board,
405
00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:12,554
and there's no indication
that the Rom... (bleep)
406
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:14,932
...ulan high council
detected us.
407
00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:16,392
-(cheering, whooping)
-Yeah!
408
00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:18,185
-(laughs)
-(door whooshes open)
409
00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:21,063
Too bad we have to deny
this ever happened,
410
00:16:21,146 --> 00:16:23,065
because you were awesome.
411
00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:24,692
(bleeping)
412
00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:26,610
(laughing):
You,
413
00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:28,612
you're (bleep) crazy.
414
00:16:29,613 --> 00:16:31,073
(door whooshes shut)
415
00:16:31,156 --> 00:16:34,076
(sighs, humming)
416
00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:36,578
(gasps)
This is where Billups sits.
417
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:37,579
CLAR:
Stop!
418
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,289
You expect me to believe that?
419
00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:41,250
Yes, that is where Billups sits.
420
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:43,752
You did not do martial arts
421
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,713
on multiple armed guards!
422
00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:48,590
You're right. I didn't.
423
00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:51,635
-(clears throat)
-I tried to be reasonable.
424
00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:53,095
I tried to get to the truth.
425
00:16:53,178 --> 00:16:56,098
Today didn't have to end
in eels!
426
00:16:56,181 --> 00:16:59,101
-Ignite the burners!
-(Boimler and Tendi scream)
427
00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:01,103
(all screaming)
428
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:02,896
-(eels shrieking)
-Oh!
429
00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:06,150
Why would you have burners
and eels? It's redundant!
430
00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:14,450
Just tell me about the package.
What was inside the package?
431
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:17,202
I don't know, but whatever
it was, I'm sure it was great.
432
00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:18,954
(eels shrieking)
433
00:17:19,037 --> 00:17:21,039
I think you're hurting the eels!
434
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:24,168
CLAR:
This can all be over
if you just tell me
435
00:17:24,251 --> 00:17:25,794
what your bridge crew did!
436
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,171
We can't tell you.
437
00:17:27,254 --> 00:17:28,964
Why? Why?
438
00:17:29,047 --> 00:17:30,299
Because we don't know!
439
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:31,800
We never know anything!
440
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:32,885
(murmuring)
441
00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:35,637
We're lower decks.
442
00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:37,639
No one ever tells us
what's going on.
443
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:38,849
We're not important enough
444
00:17:38,932 --> 00:17:40,434
to have anything
to lie to you about.
445
00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:42,978
You're Starfleet.
Surely you must be briefed
446
00:17:43,061 --> 00:17:44,146
on every contingency.
447
00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:46,106
Yeah, I wish.
The senior officers
448
00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:47,941
don't always have time
to keep us up to speed.
449
00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:50,652
Hell, sometimes, they don't
even know what's going on.
450
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,446
Impossible!
451
00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:54,072
Human lies!
452
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:57,868
-(grunting)
-You are the best of the best!
453
00:17:57,951 --> 00:17:59,661
-(screams)
-Your senior officers
454
00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:02,456
are always in full control!
455
00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:05,334
No, they're not.
They mess up all the time.
456
00:18:05,417 --> 00:18:08,170
-Like whenever Q shows up.
-(all gasp)
457
00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:09,922
Voilà!
458
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,967
-Oh, what?
-Damn you, Q!
459
00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:17,971
Good luck solving
my little puzzle, mes amis.
460
00:18:18,055 --> 00:18:21,683
Tell me, now, can you prove
that humanity is worth saving?
461
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:24,394
I think not.
(laughing)
462
00:18:26,104 --> 00:18:28,482
Well, he clearly wants us
463
00:18:28,565 --> 00:18:30,234
to play something.
464
00:18:30,317 --> 00:18:32,528
Ah! It's soccer. Okay.
465
00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:34,863
-Oh!
-BALL: What's humanity
all about?
466
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:36,824
It's puzzle time.
It's puzzle time.
467
00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:40,494
-Ugh. Any ideas? Anybody?
-Oh!
468
00:18:40,577 --> 00:18:42,204
BOIMLER:
Or half of Ransom's alien dates
469
00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:43,705
that he doesn't do
any research for.
470
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:46,208
(laughs)
You are so funny, Mary Anne.
471
00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:48,502
How about we keep this party
going in my quarters?
472
00:18:48,585 --> 00:18:51,046
Hey. Hey, Jack. FYI, you're
hitting on a salt vampire.
473
00:18:51,129 --> 00:18:52,589
-(scoffs) Yeah, right. Nice try.
-(growls)
474
00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:54,883
Salt vampires died out
more than a century ago.
475
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:57,219
-All right. Cool, be safe.
-Come on, Mary Anne.
476
00:18:57,302 --> 00:18:58,387
Let's get out of here.
477
00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:01,765
I'll give you the tour
of casa de Ransom.
478
00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:03,892
-(Mary Anne growls)
-(screams) Salt vampire!
479
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:06,019
-CLAR: You're making this up.
-BOIMLER: Nuh-uh.
480
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:08,230
I read all their logs. They'e
stepping in it all the time.
481
00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:10,190
(panting)
Captain. Captain!
482
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:11,942
Someone is replacing
everyone on the ship
483
00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:14,069
with imposters
who claim not to know me.
484
00:19:14,152 --> 00:19:15,863
We might be
in a parallel dimension.
485
00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:17,614
-And you are?
-Uh...
486
00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:19,950
Wait, is this...
is this not the Cerritos?
487
00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:23,245
This is the Alhambra.
Did you get on the wrong ship?
488
00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:26,248
(bleep)
They all look the same!
489
00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:28,917
Who the hell was that?
490
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:30,752
Why are you doing this to me?
491
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:32,254
I need you to tell me
492
00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:35,257
that your senior officers
are infallible heroes.
493
00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:37,843
Well, they're not.
And that's okay.
494
00:19:37,926 --> 00:19:39,261
We all joined Starfleet
495
00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:41,263
to dive headfirst
into the unknown.
496
00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:42,264
We're explorers.
497
00:19:42,347 --> 00:19:44,766
Of course we don't always know
what's going on.
498
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:46,393
Did Picard know about the Borg?
499
00:19:46,476 --> 00:19:49,438
Did Kirk know about
that giant Spock on Phylos?
500
00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:51,940
Did Dr. Crusher know about
that ghost in the lamp thing
501
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,442
from the Scottish planet
that she hooked up with
502
00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:54,943
that one time? That whole thing.
503
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:57,279
You clearly want us to say
that the captain
504
00:19:57,362 --> 00:19:58,614
and her crew messed up,
505
00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:00,866
but we simply don't have
the full story,
506
00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:02,618
and that's the truth!
507
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:05,495
Whatever they did, I guarantee
you it was all for good.
508
00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:07,956
You have shown no evidence
that they're guilty of a crime.
509
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,791
In fact, I find you guilty
510
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:12,794
of trying to take them down
with this sham of a trial!
511
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:14,171
Drumhead!
512
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:19,092
Wait, you think this is a trial?
513
00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:20,844
Uh, yes?
514
00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:22,137
-It's not?
-Yeah, I mean,
it's pretty trial-y.
515
00:20:22,220 --> 00:20:23,639
Could someone
bring up the lights?
516
00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:28,602
This isn't a trial.
517
00:20:28,685 --> 00:20:31,146
It's a party,
for this brave crew
518
00:20:31,229 --> 00:20:33,607
who rescued me
from the Romulans.
519
00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:34,816
What?
520
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:37,277
CLAR:
I was kidnapped by Romulans
521
00:20:37,361 --> 00:20:40,030
and held for over a year
until they saved me.
522
00:20:40,113 --> 00:20:43,659
Imperium Magistrate Clar, you're
safe now, aboard the Cerritos.
523
00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:46,870
Thank you, Captain Freeman.
Thank you.
524
00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:50,290
You must come and celebrate
with me on K'Tuevon Prime.
525
00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:53,669
Your deeds and my victory
will forever be etched
526
00:20:53,752 --> 00:20:56,964
-onto our great history stone.
-Can't say no to a party.
527
00:20:57,047 --> 00:20:59,341
Oh, great, guess I'll have
to shave my (bleep).
528
00:20:59,424 --> 00:21:00,676
Yeah, maybe you should.
529
00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:02,511
(laughter)
530
00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:04,179
(scoffs)
What's that about?
531
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:06,139
I don't know, man.
Something dumb.
532
00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:08,141
(both laugh)
533
00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:10,852
This was supposed
to be my special day.
534
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:12,354
No. No, no, no, no, no.
This is a trial.
535
00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:13,730
You said we were witnesses,
536
00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:16,024
-you said we had to testify.
-Are you stupid?
537
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:17,859
How could you think
this was a trial?
538
00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:21,363
Because you've got our bosses
suspended in a scary-ass beam.
539
00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:23,991
That is the beam of celebration!
540
00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:26,368
It is an honor
to be in this beam.
541
00:21:26,451 --> 00:21:27,536
Shut up, Billups!
542
00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:29,037
Hey, man, this is not on us.
543
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:32,040
I mean, all of that chanting,
and the-the metal gavel?
544
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:33,875
This is, like, alien trial 101.
545
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:36,670
You raised us up on a platform
into a creepy courtroom.
546
00:21:36,753 --> 00:21:39,214
Creepy? This is one
of our nicest event silos.
547
00:21:39,297 --> 00:21:41,717
-I got married here!
-Wh-- Well, then,
who's this judge?
548
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,720
This guy's just been, like,
scowling at us the whole time.
549
00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:46,930
-I don't know him.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm just here
550
00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:49,016
to set up for a birthday later
for my little girl.
551
00:21:49,099 --> 00:21:51,351
-She's turning 100.
-TENDI: Aw.
552
00:21:51,435 --> 00:21:54,062
Okay, all right, Clar,
time's up.
553
00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:56,189
-Etchers down.
-But-but...
554
00:21:56,273 --> 00:21:58,066
we didn't even get
to do any etching.
555
00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:01,153
No, no, no, no. You only paid
for 22 minutes.
556
00:22:01,236 --> 00:22:02,571
Other people got to etch.
557
00:22:02,654 --> 00:22:03,655
Oh, come on.
558
00:22:03,739 --> 00:22:05,949
But-but wh-- Okay, what about,
what about the eels?
559
00:22:06,033 --> 00:22:08,368
You held us in contempt,
of eels.
560
00:22:08,452 --> 00:22:10,037
All right, come on.
That's enough.
561
00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:11,246
-You dipped us in eels!
-You ruined my party!
562
00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:13,081
Those were eels
you dipped us in!
563
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:15,125
-You did that! You did it!
-You ruined my party!
564
00:22:17,210 --> 00:22:20,714
Today you four almost
got yourselves killed
565
00:22:20,797 --> 00:22:22,424
at a thank-you dinner.
566
00:22:22,507 --> 00:22:24,217
But, the way you stood up
for Starfleet
567
00:22:24,301 --> 00:22:25,927
while you thought you were
staring death in the face
568
00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:27,929
deserves commendation.
569
00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:30,140
-I guess.
-(applause)
570
00:22:31,349 --> 00:22:32,768
Going forward,
we'll make an effort
571
00:22:32,851 --> 00:22:34,728
to keep the crew more informed.
572
00:22:34,811 --> 00:22:37,773
The Cerritos will be
synonymous with clarity.
573
00:22:37,856 --> 00:22:39,941
Wait, so then what did
Clar do to get captured
574
00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:42,235
by the Romulans?
I-I missed that part.
575
00:22:42,319 --> 00:22:43,904
(chuckles)
Well, it's-it's complicated.
576
00:22:43,987 --> 00:22:46,073
Why did you let him
hurt us with eels
577
00:22:46,156 --> 00:22:48,116
if you knew it wasn't a trial?
578
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,452
We have to honor the local
customs of alien governments.
579
00:22:50,535 --> 00:22:51,995
And can you tell me
who was on that secret team
580
00:22:52,079 --> 00:22:53,246
that infiltrated
the Neutral Zone?
581
00:22:53,330 --> 00:22:55,415
Uh, I'm not at liberty to...
582
00:22:55,499 --> 00:22:57,250
And why couldn't you just ask
the Vulcans to borrow
583
00:22:57,334 --> 00:22:58,627
the Bird-of-Prey?
And where did they get it?
584
00:22:58,710 --> 00:23:00,420
And why was that a job
for the Cerritos?
585
00:23:00,504 --> 00:23:01,963
Why couldn't it have just been
a job for, like, the Enterprise,
586
00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:03,632
-or...
-Okay, you know what?
It's classified.
587
00:23:03,715 --> 00:23:05,592
It's all classified. Dismissed!
588
00:23:05,675 --> 00:23:08,261
Hey, everybody, look, we got
Captain Clarity over here.
589
00:23:08,345 --> 00:23:09,596
I said dismissed!
590
00:23:09,679 --> 00:23:13,558
Honestly, this is fine with me.
Knowing things means more work.
591
00:23:13,642 --> 00:23:16,144
Well, I, for one, knew
it was a party the whole time.
592
00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:17,521
(scoffs)
Yeah, right, dude.
593
00:23:17,604 --> 00:23:19,147
-I did.
-Then why were you crying?
594
00:23:19,231 --> 00:23:21,149
I just-- i-it was cold in there.
595
00:23:21,233 --> 00:23:23,485
I've got sensitive corneas.
I told you.
596
00:23:23,568 --> 00:23:25,195
(laughs)
597
00:23:25,278 --> 00:23:27,197
I challenge you all to a duel.
598
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:28,448
Pick your weapons.
599
00:23:28,532 --> 00:23:30,033
I pick the mind.
600
00:23:30,117 --> 00:23:30,909
Get out of here, Q! No.
601
00:23:30,992 --> 00:23:32,661
We are done
with random stuff today.
602
00:23:32,744 --> 00:23:34,746
We're not dealing
with any of your Q bull(bleep).
603
00:23:34,830 --> 00:23:36,164
Oh, s'il vous plaît, Mariner.
604
00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:38,125
I want to put humanity
to the ultimate test.
605
00:23:38,208 --> 00:23:39,459
MARINER:
Okay, I'm not French. No.
606
00:23:39,543 --> 00:23:41,169
-Go find Picard.
-Q: Oh, Picard.
607
00:23:41,253 --> 00:23:43,588
He's no fun, he's always
quoting Shakespeare,
608
00:23:43,672 --> 00:23:45,632
he's always making wine.
609
00:24:21,626 --> 00:24:23,670
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
610
00:25:10,175 --> 00:25:11,635
(man imitates weapons firing)
611
00:25:13,637 --> 00:25:14,638
Chirp.
43137
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