Original subtitles

[Man on P.A.] As we celebrate the birth of our great country,

we have the opportunity

to demonstrate our own independence...

♪ Hey, cowboy

♪ were you looking

♪ to brush off the dust

♪ from all your travels

♪ then took a good look around ♪

♪ tired and hungry?

♪ Do you want a woman?

♪ Thank god, it's easy

♪ to find something called love ♪

♪ right here

♪ with me

♪ ain't I

♪ lucky?

[Toilet flushes]

Hi, honey.

Yeah. Well, I... I pretty much just got here.

Pretty much.

Well, that's why I'm not in town.

I'm calling you now.

Oh, shit.

No, I just... oh, shit!

[Female newscaster] ...almost identical with morning lows in the high 70s

and afternoon highs in the upper 90s.

I think that's perfect picnic weather for this sunny independence day.

[Man] Hey, Jesse. Today's the big day, huh?

Yep.

You gonna get it right this time?

I hope so.

[Male newscaster] Well, he's done it again.

Another financial institution

has fallen victim to his theatrics.

For the latest on this story,

we go to Cindy Vargas in Cerritos.

This is the 10th bank in as many months

to be robbed in this fashion.

Federal authorities believe this string of heists

to be the work of a single perpetrator

and have dubbed him "Hamlet"

due to the unusual way in which he performs.

It seems he has a flair for Shakespeare,

and apparently he's getting some rave reviews.

I ain't no expert on Shakespeare,

but he was pretty damn good.

[Vargas] The F.B.I. Has traced his ill-gotten gains

to a number of charities across the country.

The search for Hamlet continues.

For K.G.A.B., this is Cindy Vargas

reporting live from Cerritos.

Whoo!

That'll put some hair on your chest, huh?

You oughta pour some over your head.

Ah, go fuck yourself, Billy.

Hey, you get any acting work yet?

You know, if I ever get really desperate,

I can always become a divorce attorney, can't I?

It'd beat the shit out of waiting tables.

I'm not a fucking waiter! All right?

Hey! Hey! Hey!

To undying friendship.

Oh, no. Come on.

Teddy?

[Teddy] yeah, you know what she says about liquor with me... "no."

[Buzz] Your dad knows you're back in town?

[Billy] No, not yet.

How is the old bastard anyway?

I don't want to talk about him.

Let's talk about something I care about.

[Buzzer sounds]

[Exhales deeply]

How long has he been in there anyways?

Ask Sol.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

I sleep just fine at night, ok? I have a clear conscience.

That's all right, Sol. I'm sure he doesn't hold it against you.

What's 3 years of a man's life, right?

[Teddy] Hey, there he is.

[Gate buzzes]

Well, thank you, Cahill.

That's very sweet of you.

[Cahill] See you soon.

[Gate buzzes]

Do I know you guys?

[Chuckling]

So, you famous yet?

I'm working on it.

You're working on it.

Good to see you.

Teddy! Come here. Hey.

How's things?

Predictable.

Predictable, huh?

Buzzard...

What do you think?

Well, you got 2 in the tower with Ruger mini-14s,

30-round mags, 5.56-caliber, full metal jacket,

one on the perimeter with a Remington 870 pump,

12-gauge, double-ought buckshot.

What about you?

H.K. U.S.P. 9mm,

[Whistles]

and for those special occasions,

we have a lovely Walther P.P.K.

You're packing?

Could you say that a little bit louder?

I'm not sure all the guards heard you.

That is against the law, ok?

I'd rather be tried by 12 than carried by 6.

Sol, please advise him.

Yeah, Sol, why don't you go ahead and give him

some of your expert legal advice?

I don't do criminal law anymore.

No?

Yeah.

[Buzzer sounds]

Let's get the fuck outta here.

[Sighs]

Hey, it's still here!

[Sol] Glad I'm not.

Can't imagine anything worse than still living here.

[Jesse] Try being in a state prison for about a thousand days.

Jess.

Yeah?

I wanted to ask you a kinda personal question.

Um, can I?

You want to ask me?

Well, with the, um... well, in prison,

how do you keep from getting, um...

[Whispering] Butt-fucked?

Oh, come on, Teddy!

What? I'm... I'm curious.

You don't, actually.

Oh, my god.

No. I mean, it's really not that big a deal.

I'm serious. It's... I mean, I was like you guys.

I thought it was something I'd never do, not for me, but...

[Sighs]

I liked it, you know?

I mean, there were points when I was actually craving it.

You know, I was longing for it.

There's something really natural about it.

[Scoffs]

Don't tell me you've never at least thought

about something like this.

Oh, please! No!

Well, to be perfectly honest, I've had dreams about it.

Sure.

[Teddy] Yeah, I've had... uh...

I had one dre... not a dream, though.

It was actual. Oh, never mind.

Just an experience, whatever.

That was before I was with Mary and all.

Mmm. Confession time, huh?

All right. I was out on maneuvers once,

I was sharing a foxhole with this guy

and he started to come on to me.

So, I don't know I...

I let him blow me.

I gotta tell you. If you close your eyes,

it's the exact same thing.

You don't even have to do that.

What the fuck? You guys all going queer on me?

I mean, Teddy, yeah, that I could understand,

but, uh, come on!

You know, Sol, you don't have to be a queer

to fuck another man, right?

[Laughing]

[Jesse] What a sucker.

Oh.

Assholes. A collection of assholes.

Eh?

To Jesse.

To Jess.

To freedom.

[Teddy] Wow, this place hasn't changed since high school.

[Buzz] You sure you want to go through with this, Jess?

I've never been more sure about anything in my life.

Hey, Teddy, I need to get some cash.

Drop me off at the next corner, all right?

Um, can it wait?

What's the big deal?

Hope is the big deal.

She'll kill me.

Look, I forgot your wedding present, all right?

Cash. How touching.

It's 2 blocks from the church.

I can make it there in less than 3 minutes.

Drop me off, Teddy.

Yeah. Ok.

Pull over for you, okey-dokes.

Hey.

Don't be late, ok?

Trust me.

Go on. After you.

[Exhales]

Ok.

Pull over.

Why? I don't trust him.

Let's, ah, just wait here for a sec, ok?

It'll make me feel better.

[Buzz] Tell you what. I'll go check it out.

You guys just sit tight.

Hey. Tell him to hurry up, please.

Yeah. Roger that.

[Sol] Now we've lost 2.

So, how's Mary?

Oh, she hates me.

Uh, come on.

I just want to make sure he has one.

You know, maybe it's just a phase, um, her hating you.

Uh-huh. Um...

No, she's, ah... she's pretty much hated me

from the day I got her pregnant.

[Sol] Sure it's yours?

[Snickers]

Am I sure it's mine? Yeah.

Come on. She was a virgin when I met her.

Ok?

Good friends...

"how weary, stale, flat and unprofitable,

"seem to me all the uses of this world!"

You, sir, down on the floor.

And you, "bid the players make haste."

Come on, my love, get thee to the vault!

We must hurry! Let's go! Let's go!

[Whispering] Billy?

It's Hamlet.

He's back there.

He's over there.

Billy?

Oh! Sorry!

Your kingdom will thank you.

Let's go! Let's go!

"If you have hitherto conceal'd this sight,

"let it be tenable in your silence still;

"and whatsoever else shall hap to-night,

"give it an understanding, but no tongue:

"I will requite your loves.

"so, fare you well."

[Woman] Hey.

Freeze!

Drop the gun! Drop the gun!

Drop the fucking gun or I will drop you!

Goddamn it, Buzz!

Billy, what the fuck are you doing?

What the fuck does it look like I'm doing?

Will you go in and get those assholes

before they ruin my wedding day?

Who?

Buzz.

Go get them.

And Billy. Both!

You want me to go get them?

Ple...

[Whistling]

Hold it! Hold it! Jesus.

Huh?

Don't be a hero, buddy. Just hand over the gun.

Come on, guys, we gotta...

[Crowd whimpers]

What the hell are you doing?

What's going on here?

[Buzz] Ask Billy.

Holy shit!

Grab him!

Get out of the way!

Goddamn it, Teddy!

Shh.

Please, nobody move.

What... ok, what should we do?

I don't know.

I know what I'm doing.

What? Shit.

You gotta be kidding me.

You gotta fucking be kidding me!

What are you guys thinking?

Obviously we're not, Jess.

No, sorry. I'm getting married today,

so you guys can just handle this on your own.

Don't forget to smile on your way out.

Say "cheese."

Holy fuck!

Get the tape.

Billy, go get the tape!

Come on, Billy, move your ass!

Well, where is it?

Where is it usually?

Um, excuse me.

The tape deck is in the manager's office

behind the picture of, um, Ronald Reagan.

Come on, Billy, get it! Move it! Move it!

How could you guys do this today, Buzz?

Wasn't my idea.

Jesse?

Hold on!

All you had to do was get me from jail to the chapel.

Jess!

Just a second, Teddy.

I don't think that tape's gonna matter much anymore.

And I don't think we're gonna make it to your wedding.

[Sheriff] What have we got here, cuervo?

4, possibly 5 men, armed, in tuxedos.

What?

[Man] Hey, bud!

Any casualties?

None that we know of.

Hey, where's your button?

Uh, must've fallen off.

[Buttons rattling]

[Sighs] Hostages?

Tough to say.

5 to 10 employees,

could be as many as 15 customers in there.

[Sighs]

This is not a good time for this.

Is that it?

Not quite. We got a witness

who says one of 'em was talking funny.

What do you mean?

Sounded like Shakespeare.

Sir, I think it's Hamlet.

Contact the evening news and the daily independence

and send it out over the wire. I want this on CNN.

This is a good time for this.

Anything else?

Yeah. Stay on your toes.

This Hamlet guy knows what he's doing.

He's a professional.

"Trust me"?

I'm a free man, you son of a bitch!

Is this my wedding present?

Whoah. Whoah. I oughta kill you!

Just relax, Jess, all right?

Do you have any idea what you've done here?

Do you have any idea at all?

You weren't even supposed to come in here, all right?

If you'd gone to the church, none of this would've happened!

Well, that's a moot point now, Billy.

It's a what?

It doesn't matter anymore. It's too late!

Moot.

Then go, Jess.

Go! Get outta here!

Sol, you care to explain to Butch Cassidy, here,

How things actually work?

I told you, I don't do criminal law anymore.

Just indulge us, ok?

Tell him!

Ok. All right, fine. Outside of the obvious...

what, armed robbery, kidnapping... we have accomplice liability

and probably conspiracy to commit a felony.

What are you talking about?

We are aiding and abetting as we speak.

Do you understand that?

No.

Look, Jess,

I'll take care of this, all right?

I'll handle it.

[Telephone rings]

[Rings]

Well... handle it.

[Rings]

This is Sheriff Bud Phillips

of the Independence Sheriff's Department.

You are completely surrounded.

I want to speak to the person in charge.

You got a name, son?

Billy?

Hi, dad.

You still there?

You get your worthless ass out of that bank right now, you hear me?

So, how you been, dad?

Don't you belittle me, you piece of shit!

I see you're still

the same gentle, loving father that you always were.

I'll tell you what, you ingrate,

if you're not out of that bank in 5 minutes, I'll...

You'll what! Let me explain something to you, dad...

I am in charge here! I am calling the shots!

You hear me? And I will dictate who does what and when!

I'll call you back with my demands.

And, dad, fuck you!

Oh, that helped.

Good negotiating skills, Billy.

Maybe it's true.

Yeah, maybe the cubs'll win the pennant.

Let me tell you something.

That Hamlet guy's on the F.B.I.'s most wanted list.

Billy's never been wanted by anyone.

Sheriff, the press is here.

Hoo-hoo!

Where can I find the sheriff?

He's in there, ma'am.

Shit.

Billy, why don't you call your dad back? He'll probably listen.

Fuck him.

May I make a suggestion?

Yeah. By all means, please.

Um, you might want to release the 2 elderly ladies

as a gesture of good faith.

Speak for yourself.

Jesse Reilly?

Hi, Mrs. Johnson.

Hi.

I thought you were getting married today.

Uh, yeah. I was... I was supposed to.

[Man] Uh, excuse me, huh...

If these fine citizens wish to stay,

and you're in the releasing phase,

perhaps you might, ah, release me.

[Whispering] That's the mayor.

[Hostages laughing]

Oh, this is great, Billy.

You've kidnapped a public official.

Shit!

Look, everybody just sit tight, all right?

Nobody's going anywhere.

Don't have to.

They're coming to us.

[Officer] Can you please get back on the sidewalk?

My good-for-nothing son's not gonna play me

like a puppet in front of all these voters.

Billy!

Billy, get your ass out here!

You're so sure you're a man, why don't you come out and talk to me like one?

[Vargas] Let's move closer.

Right there.

[Man] Can't we get any closer?

Well...

That about says it all.

[Reporters chattering]

Get them outta here.

All right, now, move it back.

Aw, come on.

Hey, Billy.

[Man] Billy.

Cuervo.

Billy.

[Vargas] Stay close on Billy.

How are things?

Oh, you know, just same old, same old.

Yeah.

How's the family?

Good. Growing up fast.

Jimmy's playing soccer now.

He says he wants to play in the world cup.

Just let me know when you 2 women are done gossiping.

Well, well, well...

wouldn't your mother be proud of you now?

Hey, look at me when I'm talking to you.

Who you got in there with you?

The usual misfits?

They had nothing to do with this.

I'll be the judge of that.

This is between you and me.

Why don't you just let them go?

Look, you've been off in la-la-land a little too long.

You need a reality check, boy,

and the reality is I'm in charge!

I always have been and always will be.

This charade's over. You're coming with me.

I don't think so, all right?

What are you gonna do, shoot your old man?

You couldn't even shoot a rabbit.

I like rabbits.

You son of a bitch!

[Gunshot]

Gun! On the ground!

[Crowd screaming]

Oh, Christ!

Stop firing! Hold your fire!

[Buzz] Teddy, get back inside!

Sir, should we storm the bank?

Fucking...

Ok, we're in it now. You know that, right?

We're in it.

Teddy.

What? No.

Cover the back.

Yeah. I'll cover the back.

Sol, you watch the front.

No way.

Uh-uh. No fuckin' way.

Attempted murder, that's as far as I go.

I'm not participating in this anymore.

You hear this?

You hear this? I'm not involved in this anymore, ok?

From now on,

you consider me a hostage.

I'll cover it.

You all right?

Yeah.

All right.

Pull yourself together.

I'll hold down the fort.

Hey.

Thanks.

Yeah.

And much to the horror of the crowd and this reporter,

Sheriff and insurgent mayoral candidate Bud Phillips

has ruthlessly ordered his men

to open fire on his very own son.

Billy is believed to be none other than Hamlet,

who has further frustrated investigators

by leaving behind an unusual calling card:

Sizable donations to local orphanages.

This mockery has landed him on the F.B.I.'s most-wanted list

and has some calling him a modern-day Robin Hood.

The standoff continues.

This is Cindy Vargas

reporting live from Memorial State Bank

downtown.

[Bell tolls]

[Siren sounds]

[Exhales deeply]

[Clears throat]

Hey.

Hey.

I'm thinking, uh...

thinking you should show me how to use this.

Teddy. What?

It's not a toy.

Yeah.

Buzz, I was out there with you, ok?

I was right there with you.

[Sighs]

Ohh.

You know,

it's real easy for you to be a man,

But I... I...

this is a moment for me.

Ok.

You got 7 in the clip. Check.

1 in the chamber.

8.

[Clears throat] Got it.

Snap the clip in,

pull it back,

let it slide...

and you're ready to go.

This is the clip release.

This is your safety.

Yeah. Can I... may I?

[Gun clicks]

Oh. Whoops, sorry, um...

it's ok.

[Imitates gunshot]

Pop.

Oh, man. I'm liking this. I like that.

It's got a nice feel, doesn't it?

No. I mean this.

Is that bad?

I think I must've done something really fucked up

in another life,

'cause all I really ever wanted to do

was just get married

and procreate.

He's hated me since the day I was born.

[Sighs]

Do you ever wanna have kids?

What?

Kids.

You ever think about kids?

[Sirens wailing]

No.

I'm not going back.

Look, Jess...

I'll get you out of this.

I promise.

Sheriff.

Billy's coming out,

and he wants to talk.

Well, it's about time.

Uh, to Cuervo...

Sir.

[Cheering]

[Woman] Billy!

[Man] Let 'em go!

You think you could get us some food

and something to drink?

That could be arranged.

[Man] Hey, Hamlet!

I went to school with that guy.

You don't have to go through with this.

Yeah, I do.

He's worried about you.

You gotta talk to him, Billy.

[Crowd chanting] Hamlet! Hamlet!

Hamlet!

"Angels and ministers of grace defend us!

"Be thou a spirit of health or goblin damn'd,

"Bring with thee airs from heaven

"or blasts from hell,

"be thy intents wicked

"or charitable,

"thou comest to me in such a questionable shape

"that I will speak to thee:

"I'll call thee Hamlet,

"king,

"father,

"royal Dane:

"O, answer me!

"Let me not burst in ignorance;

"but tell why thy canonized bones,

"hearsed in death,

"have burst their cerements;

"why the sepulcher,

"wherein we saw thee quietly in turn'd,

"hath oped his ponderous and marbled jaws,

"to cast thee up again.

"Say,

"why is this?

"Wherefore?

"What should we do?"

[Applause]

[Cheering]

[Teddy] Well, I'm thinking we should, uh...

ask for political asylum

in...

Argentina.

What? What do you guys think?

[Sol] I think you're a schmuck.

You should turn yourselves in

before somebody gets killed.

First time offenders.

You're only looking at 3 to 5.

Months?

Years.

If someone dies....

then you're looking at life.

Except me. I'm looking at life no matter what.

3 strikes and you're out, right, Sol?

3 to 5 years, huh?

Ah, what the hell?

I've been in my own little prison

for the last 10.

It's called marriage.

No, it doesn't end like this.

So we need a...

[Clears throat] plan.

What if we asked for a plane?

We can fly to Mexico. They don't extradite.

[Sol] Billy, we're in independence.

What are we gonna fly out in, a crop duster?

[Jesse] What about a bus?

We could take it to Bakersfield

and just try flying out from there.

Dog day afternoon...

they take you out at the airport.

I haven't seen it.

Hey, you got any bright ideas?

You heard me, I'm not involved in this.

Ok, then shut the fuck up.

Uh, you could get a helicopter,

land it on the roof,

access it through the air ducts

without even going outside.

Really?

And who's gonna fly it?

I will.

Who is this guy?

I guess...

I'm what most people commonly refer to

as the disgruntled Vietnam vet.

I suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder,

occasional bouts of malaria,

flashbacks, nightmares,

I got a steel plate in my ass,

I wet the bed,

I'm convinced that my body is being consumed by cancer,

which might explain my suicidal tendencies,

but...

I can fly the hell out of a huey.

Lt. John G. Coleman...

at your disposal.

"Gonzo" Coleman?

Where'd you hear that name?

Holy shit!

You gotta be kidding me.

This guy is a legend.

[Grumbles]

[Buzz] Vietnam. '68 to '70.

He flew over 300 missions

in those 2 years.

23 choppers shot out from underneath him,

52 air medals,

12 silver stars,

5 purple hearts

and the congressional medal of honor.

And you forgot to mention

dishonorably discharged.

Actually, it was section 8.

Sgt. Buzz Thomas,

U.S. Army Special Forces.

It's a privilege.

No shit?

Green Beret?

So what are you doing out of uniform?

Also dishonorably discharged.

Buzz?

It's a long story.

How do you know so much about this bank?

I've been casing this place

for months.

I was gonna rob it myself,

except that your buddy over here

got through the door first.

Life...

tt's just a series of coincidences.

Or a comedy of errors.

They want a chopper.

Aw, for Christ's sakes.

Sir. Sir.

Bakersfield P.D.'s on the line,

wanna know if they can get in on the action.

I guess it's a little slow over there.

Yeah? Tell them to mind their goddamn business.

What do you want me to tell him?

[Sighs] Ah, don't tell him anything.

I've got some thinking to do.

[Crowd cheering]

Sir, I think you better take a look at this.

Uh-oh. Jesse...

I think you better take a look at this.

[Woman] Let go of me!

Let me go!

We can't let you in there.

Leave her alone!

Let me go!

[Cheering]

[Cheering]

[Buzz] Teddy! Teddy!

[Vargas] Teddy Pollack!

[Crowd chanting] Teddy! Teddy!

[Buzz] Teddy!

Get in here!

Buzz, did you see?

Billy? Did anybody see that?

Were you watching?

They're calling my name. You hear them?

Listen, listen, listen.

That's me. I'm Teddy.

Oh, my god. I'm a fuckin' hero.

I hope my wife is watching this.

[Hope] Mmm.

Are you ok?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Are you sure?

Yeah, sweetheart, I'm ok.

Really?

3 fucking years!

Oh, I feel like such a fool.

Ain't love grand?

This is our wedding day.

We're supposed to be together.

Hope...

I am so disappointed in you!

Hope...

honey, uh...

I'm sorry.

Sheriff,

is the bride some sort of accomplice in this?

Uh, no comment.

Does Hamlet's mother have anything to do with this?

No comment.

Sheriff Phillips, do you love your son?

Come on, let's go.

Sheriff Phillips?

How can this get any worse?

[Tires screeching]

Sheriff, the F.B.I. just pulled up.

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

[Chattering]

[Officer] Just stay back.

Who's in charge of this circus?

I am.

Chief Bud Phillips.

I'm agent Hoover... no relation.

[Chuckles]

This is agent Carter.

Coffee?

Caffeine makes me edgy.

[Carter] So what's the poop?

The poop is...

we've got 5 armed men in tuxedoes

and 11 hostages.

Hamlet works alone.

Well, seems like he picked up some merry men along the way.

[Carter] Able to I.D. any of them?

[Exhales]

3 so far.

Buzz Thomas, Teddy Pollack,

and, uh, Billy Phillips.

[Hoover] Phillips?

Any relation?

Perhaps an inbred cousin?

[Agents chuckling]

He's my son.

Oh.

[Clears throat]

So what are they demanding,

more allowance?

They want a chopper.

So give it to 'em.

On whose authority?

Mine.

Relax.

Big brother's here.

You listen to me, you ivy-league pricks.

This is my town,

and that's my son in there.

No, you listen to me, daddy.

This is officially under my jurisdiction,

and any time I want,

I can and will take over this operation.

Make no mistake...

this isn't much ado about nothing.

I want Hamlet.

Jerry and I... god rest his soul...

used to fight just like you two.

One morning we're going at it...

funny, I can't even remember what it was about,

but I wasn't gonna give in.

Neither was he.

So I told him...

"I have nothing more to say to you.

"you just get on out of here."

Oh, how sad.

Did he leave you?

He stormed out the door,

and he was so busy cussing me out

that he walked right in front of a greyhound bus.

Splattered him all over my azaleas.

Do you love him, honey?

More than anything.

More than anything in the world.

Then don't waste time.

You never know how much you got left.

[Sirens wailing]

[Terry] Honey? Hi.

Are you watching?

Yeah.

No, you don't understand. You don't... why?

I know, but why... why should I?

Because you say so.

Ok, um, actually,

I've got a little news for you...

baby.

The days of you "saying so"

are over, ok?

I'm not turning myself in.

I'm sorry. What?

What has gotten into me?

Ohh. Ok.

Yeah, what has gotten into me?

Maybe something called life.

Life!

No, you listen!

For the first time

in my miserable, mundane,

candy-assed

fucking existence,

I'm having a little bit of fun,

and you're not gonna fucking spoil it, get it?

Got it?

Fucking good!

[Sighs deeply]

How's it going?

The same.

So I take it they found out, huh?

What?

The army.

Be all you can be,

but don't be queer.

[Scoffs]

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about your gender preference.

[Laughs] I think one of those bullets

must have bounced off your head.

Oh, yeah?

Look me in the eye, and tell me I'm wrong.

[Laughing] You're full of shit.

Am I?

"This above all," Buzz.

"to thine own self be true,

"and it must follow, as the night the day,

"thou canst not then be false to any man."

I don't understand a word you just said.

[Crowd singing] ♪ Amazing grace

♪ how sweet the sound

♪ that saved a wretch

♪ like me ♪

Decaf, right?

You ever have one of those days

where you just wanna mow down the whole fucking crowd?

No.

You're young.

Give it time.

♪ but now I see

Where are the snipers I ordered?

A.T.F. will be here within the hour.

Chopper?

Gassed and ready.

I want you to position the shooters

on the roof of that bank

and on the building across the street.

We'll bring the chopper in at daybreak,

and set it down over there.

When they make their move,

the sun will be in their eyes,

and we'll have them in a crossfire.

No one will know who did the shooting.

What about the hostages?

It's a tragedy, Carter.

♪ but now I see

Ohh, god!

Oh, god, I used to get off on it, man.

The adrenaline rush.

Mission after mission,

I could not get enough.

And then one day...

I dropped my first hit of acid,

and it all came clear.

I took a good look at what we were doing.

I said it was wrong,

so I grounded myself.

And the only reason that I am not in Leavenworth

is because it would have been somewhat embarrassing

for the army to admit

their most celebrated copter jockey

suddenly developed a moral conscience.

[Toilet flushes]

So they gave me section 8 and sent me home.

[Water runs]

So what's your sad story?

Oh, I, uh...

I wasn't exactly in accordance

with standard military procedures.

A rebel, huh?

[Water stops running]

I guess you could say that.

I was deemed

inappropriate for this man's army.

All I ever wanted to be was a soldier,

to serve my country,

to wear that uniform.

And they took

all that

away from me.

Let me tell you something, sergeant.

A uniform does not make a soldier.

A soldier is someone who is willing to stand up

and fight for what he believes in,

be it his god,

his country

or his friends.

And it does not matter

if you are black, white,

red, yellow,

male, female,

straight or gay,

we all bleed the same.

Well, I was sure that I had run down

every single possible scenario

of what could have gone wrong today,

but this one wins the prize.

Hope, you have to believe me.

I didn't know what was gonna go on

when I walked in the door.

I know that. It doesn't make it any easier,

but I know.

You still... you shouldn't have come in here.

It, uh...

what was I supposed to do,

wait at the altar?

Catch you on television?

Wait to find out if you were...

I love you.

I had to come.

But you don't have to stay here.

You can't.

You know, screwing up my life is one thing,

but I'm really tired of screwing up yours.

You need to move on to something better...

to someone better.

Hope...

I'm letting you go.

[Giggles]

Oh.

Really?

Y-yeah.

[Laughs]

That is so...

that's so...

male!

Ha!

"I'm letting you go."

Oh, well...

If I could've let you go,

I would've let you go a long time ago.

Let's get something straight.

I'm not going anywhere

"till death do us part,"

and I think that you should just drop the macho shit.

If that's really the way you feel,

then I don't think

that you leave me any other choice.

[F.B.I. agent] How many birds you got available?

They want a priest.

Aw, Christ! Is somebody dead?

No. Somebody wants to get married.

Absolutely not.

[Hoover] Give it to them.

[Phillips] What?

You heard the man.

He said, "give it to them."

And I said no.

I'd be the laughingstock of the entire country.

Are you challenging me?

I just think...

I don't give a shit what you think, John boy.

Go set it up, Carter.

[Woman] No, it's no problem.

Sol.

Could I meet you in there?

Sure.

Look, I know what you're gonna say, ok?

What a selfish little bastard I am.

Only looking out for my own skin.

I don't care about anyone or anything but myself, right?

Um, actually,

I was gonna ask you if you'd stand up with Jesse

instead of standing with the hostages.

Come on, Hope. He didn't even invite me. You did.

Yes,

and you didn't steal the ring.

He did.

You can't keep blaming yourself

for his mistakes.

No,

but I can for mine.

Look,

I'm the one who refused to plea bargain,

I'm the one who took it to trial,

I'm the one who lost.

What plea bargain?

That's right.

I didn't tell him. Do you get the picture?

I wanted to go to trial, I wanted to prove myself,

so I didn't tell him.

[Sighs] I didn't tell anybody.

Jesus, Hope, I took his life away.

I took your life away.

So...

How you feel about me now?

Like forgiving you.

Who gives this bride away?

I will.

Jerome Willie Mays Johnson.

My dad was a Giants fan.

Thank you.

[Priest] Gentlemen,

we are gathered in the house of the lord.

I don't think it's appropriate

to be brandishing weaponry during the ceremony.

We're in a bank.

Well, we're in the presence of the lord,

and we'll be reciting the words of Jesus Christ our savior,

and they make me nervous.

[Clears throat]

[Priest] In circumstances such as these,

I like to start by reading from the scriptures.

Let us pray.

"As the apostles gathered around him,

"Jesus looked upon them with great sorrow,

"for he knew that one of them

"would betray him.

"He stood before them

"as both judge

"and jury

"and with a heart full of forgiveness, said..."

Freeze!

[Gasps]

Medic!

Do it, I swear to god, I'll kill you.

You wouldn't shoot a man of the cloth, would you?

I'm Jewish.

[Crowd talking excitedly]

Who the hell fired those shots?

Relax, pops.

We just eliminated the problem for you.

The priest was one of ours.

This hurts.

It fucking hurts!

Got yourself a million-dollar wound here, soldier.

You're going stateside.

It hurts!

Hang in there, Teddy. You're gonna make it.

[Teddy] ooh, no. Take me out, Billy. Just take me out.

I'm a wounded horse. I can't race anymore.

Ohh.

[Teddy] Ow.

You're never gonna get out of here alive,

Mr. Green Beret...

or should I say Pink Beret?

We know all about you.

You know what they do to boys like you...

[Grunts]

[Teddy] It hurts!

Come on. Hang in there, Teddy.

[Hope] You're gonna be ok. I promise.

We gotta get him out of here.

No, I'm not going out. You know what? Actually, I am fine.

I am fine. I feel fine.

[Buzz] Teddy. Teddy, if you don't go,

you're gonna die.

Buzz, I'm not gonna give myself up.

I'm not a coward. Ow!

Now, you listen to me!

I've seen people die...

and the one thing I've learned is

it takes a hell of a lot more courage to live.

[Sighs]

♪ Bum

That's it. Sing.

♪ buh bum bum ♪

♪ buh bum ♪

That's it. Just keep singing.

♪[Both humming when the saints go marching in]

[Siren wailing]

[Crowd murmuring]

[Officer] Stand back!

[Teddy groaning]

[Buzz] Put your foot down.

Yeah. Ohh, no.

You know what? I'll do it.

I'll take it. I'll take it.

I'm ok.

[Buzz] You sure?

[Teddy] Yeah, I'm gonna take it.

[Teddy groans]

Just take little baby steps.

I'm not a coward, see?

I'm not a coward.

[Vargas] Are you rolling?

Oh. Ok. Ohh!

[Cuervo] Move, move, move! Ow!

I got him.

[Groaning]

[Medic] Strap him.

Standing by.

Easy does it.

[Crowd cheering]

[Vargas] Teddy...

Who did this to you?

I'm Teddy.

Who's responsible for this?

My name's Teddy.

Congratulations.

You just created a martyr.

[Engine starts]

[Ambulance siren sounds]

Hey.

Was that your first buddy to go down?

Well, there's gonna be more.

This place is crawling with V.C.

We came in low, man...

30 minutes before dawn,

nap of the earth,

cracking branches off our skids.

[Machine gun firing]

And the L.Z. was so hot,

it scorched the hair on my balls.

[Helicopter hovering]

You should have set up your Claymores.

There's always gooks in the wire.

[Turns water off]

Are you ok?

Yeah.

They need you.

I don't want to lose him again.

[Vargas] Teddy Pollack was admitted to County General,

and is listed in critical but stable condition.

I don't know what the fuss is all about.

Think they'd be used to shotgun weddings

around here.

[Laughing]

You think that's funny?

I went to high school with him.

How touching.

Share your first sheep, too?

[Phillips] Hey, hey, Carter!

Hey, what are you doing?

Come on! Knock it off!

[Phone ringing]

I'm coming out.

I want a face-to-face.

Anyone takes a shot at me, you're the second one to die.

All right, listen up!

I am officially taking over this operation.

Any attempt to interfere

will be met with swift, severe punishment.

And if you so much as fart in my general direction,

I'll have you shot.

Sit next to me.

Just to remind you,

he's a Green Beret, and he won't miss.

I'm listening.

We want a bus.

I thought you wanted a chopper.

We want it parked out front,

windows tinted, tank full of gas.

Now, just slow down.

You give me something, I'll give you something.

That's how it works.

The priest.

He still alive?

Too bad.

Felony murder gives me a hard-on,

but the night is young.

One of the hostages.

Leaves me limp.

Why don't you tell me what you want?

It's not what I want...

it's who I want.

[Train horn blowing]

Do we have a deal?

I'm stiff as a board.

Charming.

Stand up with me.

Move to your left.

Stop.

What do we do now?

We poison the sword.

[Billy] He stays.

And you let me hear from you.

Ok.

I'll try. Thank you so much.

Good-bye. Good-bye, Jesse.

Thank you for talking to her.

You be good to yourself, you hear?

I will. You, too. Take care.

I've been ordered out of here, sergeant,

but I would consider it an honor

if you were to wear this into battle.

Battle?

Hell, you ain't seen nothin' yet.

Just don't let those sons of bitches win.

[Priest] You're all gonna die.

[Laughing]

[Grunts]

[Vargas] Mayor Boar, will you make a statement?

[Mayor Boar] I did everything I could

to keep the situation calm in there.

[Mayor Boar] The others are still in there.

[Woman] Yeah. They were really nice.

[Reporters shouting]

Get back, please.

[Mayor Boar] You can count on me!

Right here! One more shot!

[Officer] Stand back.

[Carter] Look, we know he's the 5th perp.

You mean, is he in the bank?

Yeah.

No.

Come on.

He was released from the pen this morning,

he was supposed to be married today,

and a woman in a wedding dress

ran into the bank this afternoon.

What was she doing, making a deposit?

What about you?

I suppose you don't know him either.

No, I know who that is.

That's Jesse Reilly.

I've known him since he was in diapers.

Ok.

But he's not in that bank.

This town is really starting to piss me off.

♪[Spanish love song playing]

[Sniffs]

They grow up fast, don't they, Bud?

Yep.

Before you know it, they're robbing banks.

How's that Hamlet story end, anyway?

Where do you think you're going?

I'm gonna go talk to my son.

I can't let you go in there.

Well, you're just gonna have to shoot me in the back.

[Bud] Billy!

Billy!

Hamlet!

How can we end this?

What do you want from me?

You really don't know, do you?

I want you to play catch with me.

I want you to help me with my homework.

I want you to rouse me out of bed

at 5:00 in the morning and take me fishing.

I want you to have a beer with me

and talk about girls.

But most of all,

I want you to tell me that it wasn't my fault.

What wasn't your fault?

Come on, dad.

You can't even look at me without seeing her.

Just leave her out of this.

No, I'm not gonna leave her out of this.

That's all we ever did was leave her out.

Jesus Christ, you...

I don't know a thing about her.

I don't know what kind of woman she was.

I don't know what made her laugh,

what made her cry.

I don't know what kind of ice cream she liked.

I don't even know what color her eyes were.

I don't know a thing about my mother...

except that you blame me for her death.

I lost her, too, dad...

but I didn't kill her.

Green.

She had the most beautiful green eyes I'd ever seen.

Green as spring grass.

A scoop of rocky road on top of orange sherbet.

[Snickers]

[Sighs]

I'd like to say...

I did the best I could, Billy,

but, son...

I was lost without her.

I brought you up the only way I knew how.

Can I ask you something?

Why Hamlet?

"But yet I do believe the origin and commencement

"of his grief sprung from neglected love."

'Cause he wanted a father,

not a ghost.

[Crickets chirping]

Hi, Buzz.

I just wanted to look at this.

No. No, no.

But it... it's ok.

It's soaked through.

I know.

I just wanted to thank you for being such a good friend.

Thank you.

What's this?

A gift.

The bus is here.

A bus? I thought that wasn't a good idea.

We're not going to Bakersfield.

This is agent Carter.

Showtime.

Oh, and, boys,

the most kills gets a trip to Disneyland.

[Cheering]

♪[March music playing]

Shit.

Can't identify the target, sir.

Ok, stay together. Stay together.

You have a green light. Take it.

Negative, base, it's red.

Goddamn it, they are not to reach that bus.

Tight. Keep it tight.

Take the shot.

Target is not clear.

[Woman laughs]

All right.

What's going on?

Sol Jacobs.

Sol Jacobs.

You owe me.

What's he talking about?

Sol?

I had to cut a deal.

One of us has to stay.

What?

What kind of deal is that?

It's the best I could do under the circumstances, Buzz.

Oh, shit.

I'll go.

[Sol] No, Billy. I'm going.

It's me that he wants.

Fuck this! No one is getting off this bus.

This bus isn't moving unless I get off.

Do you understand that?

Sol. Please.

Let me do this for you, ok?

Sol Jacobs.

Don't give up your day job.

I won't.

You take good care of her, ok?

I will, buddy.

Thanks.

Come here.

I always wanted to do that.

[Gasps]

L'chaim.

Have a margarita on me.

Give them hell, counselor.

[Sol] Shit.

Oh, jeez.

Move the cars.

Give me Hamlet.

Change of plans.

You get me instead.

How noble.

Willing to sacrifice yourself for your friends.

Well, what can I say?

Friendship runs deep.

Now, move the goddamn cars.

I guess I overestimated your intelligence.

You didn't actually think

I was going to let that bus leave, did you?

[Laughs] Actually, I didn't.

What the hell is he doing?

[Buzz] I have no idea.

Come on, man,

don't make me say some cliche line, ok?

No, no, no.

[Sniper] Come on, come on.

[Sol] Shit!

Move, move!

Hit it.

[Buzz] We should wait.

Stay right there.

Hit it.

Get the hell out of here!

[Sniper] To the left.

A little more.

Stand over here. Move with me.

Buzz, come on!

We can't leave him!

Come on, goddamn it! Go!

Bingo.

[Crowd groans]

Shit!

[Hoover] Stop that bus!

[Phillips] That son of a bitch!

Hold on!

[Hoover] What are you doing? Move that car!

[Sirens wailing]

Up yours.

Go, Billy! God damn you, go!

[Crowd applauding]

Come on, guys. Let's go.

[Sirens wailing]

I'm gonna take him out

if it's the last thing I do.

This is from Sol.

[Sol] I, Sol Jacobs, being of not so sound mind

for getting caught up in this mess,

and obviously not of sound body...

I'm dead...

do hereby declare this my last will and testament.

I bequeath everything I have to my friend Jesse Reilly.

I don't know what 3 years of a man's life is worth,

but one thing I do know,

is that life itself ain't worth much without love.

I guess that makes you one of the richest men I know.

I love you, Jesse,

at least as much as a man can love another man

without being gay.

Sorry, Buzz.

As for you other guys,

your legal fees far exceed

anything I have left to give to you,

so, I bequeath to you my eternal friendship.

I do have one final request.

Remember me.

[Sirens wailing]

How about an interview?

What?

Do you have anything to say to America?

"To thine own self be true."

What?

I'm a Green Beret,

I love my country

and I'm gay.

[Tires screeching]

Let's go. Move it.

I'm trying.

All right, I'm sick of this shit.

[Tires screeching]

[Horn honking]

Car!

Jesus.

Why don't you smoke some crack while you're at it?

[Buzz] No turning back now.

You guys, they're getting closer.

Come on, baby! Come on!

We got to do something.

Turn here.

What? Just do it!

[Both grunting]

[Carter] Shit! They jumped the goddamn ramp.

We got 'em now.

There's no exit on that road until Castaic.

This is Hoover. Suspects are on highway 91.

Set up the roadblock at Old Mill Road.

We'll cut them off at the pass.

What the fuck was that?

Red dog one, this is Gonzo.

We have our boys in sight.

Gonna pluck a few chickens before the wolves get here.

I want my snipers lining the entire perimeter,

is that clear?

Yes, sir.

I want snipers up in the tree lines.

The rest of you

position yourselves around these cars.

[Jesse] What's he doing?

Come on, we got to climb onboard.

That's crazy.

You got a better idea?

Come on.

Come on, let's go, let's go, let's go!

Come on!

We're running out of time!

[Hope] Be careful!

All right, climb up. Come on.

Bring it in here!

Hope, come on up!

Come on!

You got it!

Oh, shit!

[Hope] Jesse, hang on!

I'm ok!

[Buzz] Climb on up, Hope!

Hope.

Uh.

Oh.

Ahh!

[Billy] What the hell was that?

I don't know.

Ok. Grab his hand.

Hope, come on!

Take my hand!

Red dog one, got gooks on the wire.

[Jesse] Closer!

Grab for it! Come on!

I'm trying!

Ok. Go!

Hold on! Whoa!

[Sirens approaching]

[Engine sputtering]

[Billy] Whoa!

Why are we slowing down?

They rigged the fucking gauge.

I got to get them out of here.

Come on!

Billy, let's go!

Take the money!

What are you doing?

Take it!

Go!

Come on, Billy!

There's not enough time!

Bullshit! Come on!

[Screams]

Red dog one, I am taking fire.

Go!

Billy, get them out of here!

[Billy] Go!

Live long and procreate!

Red dog one,

we are headed for the border.

What is that?

It's our wedding present.

[Sirens wailing]

Stay cool, you guys.

Good luck, you all.

See ya.

We just got a call from pursuit.

The hostages are recovered unharmed.

Good. They're all mine now.

When they come around the bend,

I want the driver and their tires taken out immediately.

But, sir, standard procedure...

I don't give a fuck about standard procedure,

and I don't have time for insubordination.

Now, lock and load.

Yes, sir.

"To be, or not to be:

"That is the question:

"Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

"the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,

"or to take arms against a sea of troubles,

"and by opposing end them?

"To die: to sleep;

"No more,

"and by a sleep to say we end the heart-ache

"and the thousand natural shocks

"that flesh is heir to,

"'tis a consummation devoutly to be wish'd.

"To die,

"to sleep,

"perchance to dream:

"Ay, there's the rub,

"for in that sleep of death what dreams may come

"when we have shuffled off this mortal coil,

"must give us pause.

"Who would fardels bear,

"to grunt and sweat under a weary life,

"but that the dread of something after death,

"the undiscover'd country

"from whose bourn no traveler returns,

"puzzles the will,

"and makes us rather bear those ills we have

"than fly to others that we know not of?

"Thus conscience does make cowards of us all."

On my order, Carter.

"Be all my sins remember'd."

[Inaudible]

A little closer.

And...

now.

[Gunshots]

[Tires screeching]

[Moaning]

[Grunting]

So much for that margarita, huh?

[Laughs]

How many you got left?

[Grunts]

Ah. One.

Yeah.

[Sniffles]

Me, too.

That's all it takes.

[Breathing heavily]

Yeah.

Ohh.

Thanks.

[Guns firing]

[Carter] Cease fire!

Cease fire!

They're down, sir.

Sir?

[Vultures shrieking]

[Jesse] Sol!

Sol!

Stay out of the water!

Come here, you. Come here.

[Baby laughing]

Hi.

Hi, baby.

♪[Burn to shine by Ben Lee playing]

♪ You called me early one morning, voice breaking ♪

♪ and said you were glad I was home ♪

♪ You said you were lying there flat on your back ♪

♪ getting drunk playing guitar alone ♪

♪ And you said she was leaving the very next day ♪

♪ and you could not convince her to stay ♪

♪ You told me that you were a broken man ♪

♪ and all I could think was to say ♪

♪ You have to burn

♪ to shine

♪ You have to burn

♪ to shine ♪

♪ You have to burn

♪ to shine

♪ It doesn't get easy, get empty, get older ♪

♪ and realize we actually die ♪

♪ You're filled up with fear and the question persists ♪

♪ that you just may be living a lie ♪

♪ And lonely is awful, but loving is torture ♪

♪ and it seems that we just never learn ♪

♪ Why don't you get out of that flame causing pain ♪

♪ as your skin starts to wither and burn? ♪

♪ And all the time we are chasing a feeling ♪

♪ elusive and rare at its best ♪

♪ And somewhere inside there's a vision of angels ♪

♪ that say all this is just a test ♪

♪ But I heard you crying out, it's all too hard ♪

♪ as you beat your tired fists on the street ♪

♪ Little do you know that you've never been closer ♪

♪ to being so whole and complete ♪

♪ 'Cause you have to burn

♪ to shine

♪ You have to burn

♪ to shine ♪

♪ You have to burn

♪ to shine

♪ You have to burn

♪ to shine

♪ You have to burn

♪ to shine

♪ You have to burn...