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1
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WALLY:
Look at us.
2
00:01:27,387 --> 00:01:29,412
Running around,
3
00:01:29,555 --> 00:01:34,049
always rushed, always late.
4
00:01:35,962 --> 00:01:38,624
I guess that's why they call it
the human race.
5
00:01:39,432 --> 00:01:42,993
What we crave most in this world
is connection.
6
00:01:43,403 --> 00:01:46,304
And for some people,
it happens at first sight.
7
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:48,532
It's when you know, you know.
8
00:01:49,509 --> 00:01:51,841
It's fate working its magic.
9
00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:56,512
And that's great for them.
10
00:01:56,983 --> 00:01:59,315
They get to live in a pop song.
11
00:02:00,153 --> 00:02:01,780
Ride the express train.
12
00:02:04,090 --> 00:02:07,082
But that's not the way it really works.
13
00:02:12,598 --> 00:02:15,658
For the rest of us,
it's a bit less romantic.
14
00:02:16,836 --> 00:02:19,100
It's complicated and it's messy.
15
00:02:19,238 --> 00:02:23,106
It's about horrible timing
and fumbled opportunities
16
00:02:23,242 --> 00:02:27,838
and not being able to say
what you need to say
17
00:02:27,980 --> 00:02:30,175
when you need to say it.
18
00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:33,880
At least, that's the way it was for me.
19
00:02:35,021 --> 00:02:39,651
MAN:
Taxi. Taxi driver. Taxi, taxi, taxi, taxi.
20
00:02:39,792 --> 00:02:43,250
Fat, pedaling, hooker-looking bitch.
Fat, pedaling, hooker-looking bitch.
21
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:48,199
Fat, pedaling, hooker-looking bitch.
Fat, pedaling, hooker-looking bitch.
22
00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:50,359
Fat, pedaling...
Fat, pedaling, hooker-looking bitch.
23
00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:53,870
Pig-faced...
Pig-faced, gimpy, limping mama.
24
00:02:54,006 --> 00:02:55,769
Pig-faced, gimpy, limping mama.
25
00:02:56,309 --> 00:03:00,507
Pig-faced, gimpy, limping mama.
Pig-faced, gimpy, limping mama.
26
00:03:00,646 --> 00:03:04,138
I got a pig-faced...
Pig-faced, gimpy, limping mama.
27
00:03:04,283 --> 00:03:07,741
I've got a pig-faced, gimpy, limping mama
limping on by.
28
00:03:07,887 --> 00:03:10,617
Pig-faced... I've got a pig-faced...
29
00:03:10,756 --> 00:03:13,350
Man-boy. Little man-boy.
Beady-eyed little man-boy.
30
00:03:13,493 --> 00:03:16,189
Beady-eyed little...
Beady-eyed little man-boy.
31
00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:19,355
I see a beady-eyed little man-boy.
32
00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:21,797
Beady-eyed... Beady-eyed little man-boy.
33
00:03:21,934 --> 00:03:25,768
I see a beady-eyed...
Beady-eyed little man-boy looking at me.
34
00:03:25,905 --> 00:03:29,102
I got a beady-eyed little man-boy.
Beady-eyed little man-boy.
35
00:03:29,242 --> 00:03:31,574
Beady-eyed little man-boy
looking at me.
36
00:03:33,479 --> 00:03:36,539
WOMAN 1: I'm sorry about that.
You did say that was true.
37
00:03:44,090 --> 00:03:45,682
WOMAN 2:
Sorry.
38
00:03:48,694 --> 00:03:49,752
[SIGHS]
39
00:03:55,935 --> 00:03:58,335
You are not
a beady-eyed little man-child.
40
00:03:58,471 --> 00:04:00,735
"Boy," he distinctly said, okay?
And that's worse.
41
00:04:00,873 --> 00:04:03,808
And I am, I'm like a...
I'm a beady-eyed-looking little man-boy
42
00:04:03,943 --> 00:04:05,570
that shouldn't be wearing sweater vests.
43
00:04:05,711 --> 00:04:07,702
He was mentally ill,
standing on a street corner.
44
00:04:07,847 --> 00:04:10,008
Kassie, exactly.
He had no reason to be polite, okay?
45
00:04:10,149 --> 00:04:12,811
It was like a Tourette's-style
truth-serum affliction this guy had,
46
00:04:12,952 --> 00:04:14,476
and I was caught in the cross hairs.
47
00:04:14,620 --> 00:04:16,645
- I can't believe this stuff bothers you.
- It does.
48
00:04:16,789 --> 00:04:19,121
Now, I have some big news.
I wanna show you something.
49
00:04:19,258 --> 00:04:21,192
First I wanna show you something.
Check this out.
50
00:04:21,327 --> 00:04:22,954
- Look at that.
- What? What is that?
51
00:04:23,462 --> 00:04:25,589
I seem to have a growth.
52
00:04:25,731 --> 00:04:28,199
Oh, my God, is that your scrotum?
53
00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:31,462
- It's not a sunset.
- Ugh. You're exhausting.
54
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:33,799
My health exhausts you?
55
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:36,773
- Fine, we'll deal with my death later.
- My turn.
56
00:04:36,909 --> 00:04:37,967
- See this?
- Yeah.
57
00:04:38,110 --> 00:04:41,011
That's the dollar in yen.
I bought in a week ago.
58
00:04:41,147 --> 00:04:44,776
- Good for you. Now look at it like this.
- Yeah, sideways.
59
00:04:44,917 --> 00:04:47,886
If someone you knew owned this stock
what advice would you give them?
60
00:04:48,321 --> 00:04:51,347
I don't know, Kassie. I gotta look
at fundamentals, you know, P/E ratios.
61
00:04:51,490 --> 00:04:54,323
- Simple, simple. Hold or sell?
- You gotta sell that, it's going down.
62
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:55,552
Exactly.
63
00:04:55,695 --> 00:04:58,755
This, Wally, this is what a woman's fertility
looks like after a certain age.
64
00:04:58,898 --> 00:04:59,956
So?
65
00:05:00,099 --> 00:05:02,397
So I would like you
to be the first to know
66
00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:04,297
I'm having a baby.
67
00:05:05,705 --> 00:05:10,039
- You're pregnant?
- No, not yet. But I'm working on it.
68
00:05:10,176 --> 00:05:13,737
Went to the doctor, she said all my levels
were really great, considering.
69
00:05:13,879 --> 00:05:17,906
And, uh, she said that my cervical mucus
is gorgeous, by the way.
70
00:05:18,050 --> 00:05:19,608
- Thanks for that.
- And, uh...
71
00:05:19,752 --> 00:05:21,845
Then she started giving me this lecture
about my age,
72
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:24,513
and I was really starting to hear her
about timing and why wait?
73
00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:25,715
[WALLY MOANING]
74
00:05:25,858 --> 00:05:28,383
And, you know, I started...
75
00:05:28,527 --> 00:05:30,927
Would you please stop having sex
with food?
76
00:05:31,697 --> 00:05:33,494
Sorry, you know I don't know
when I do it.
77
00:05:33,633 --> 00:05:35,726
And then I thought to myself,
"I can do this."
78
00:05:35,868 --> 00:05:38,769
I've got a, you know,
killer new job at the network,
79
00:05:38,904 --> 00:05:40,565
and I don't need a man to have a baby.
80
00:05:40,706 --> 00:05:43,038
Technically speaking, you do.
Where's all this coming from?
81
00:05:43,175 --> 00:05:44,233
Is this about Paul?
82
00:05:44,377 --> 00:05:48,313
Why don't you chalk it up as another of
your disastrous flameouts and move on?
83
00:05:48,447 --> 00:05:50,347
This has absolutely nothing to do
with Paul.
84
00:05:50,483 --> 00:05:52,610
- I think it does.
- And thank you for bringing it up.
85
00:05:52,752 --> 00:05:54,777
All I'm saying is
don't kick that can down the road.
86
00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:58,048
You need to look at your relationships
instead of biting off the next step.
87
00:05:58,190 --> 00:05:59,919
- Deal with the one before.
- You know what?
88
00:06:00,059 --> 00:06:03,119
I'm just tired of thinking about
how this is supposed to go, all right?
89
00:06:03,262 --> 00:06:04,889
I'm just ready to do it now.
90
00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:07,022
- Really?
- Life is in session.
91
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,093
- Is that from an infomercial?
- No.
92
00:06:10,236 --> 00:06:11,294
- Really?
- Yes.
93
00:06:11,437 --> 00:06:12,665
- Did you buy the DVD?
- One.
94
00:06:12,805 --> 00:06:15,603
But it really was something
that resonated with me.
95
00:06:15,741 --> 00:06:18,608
Wally, I don't...
You know what? I'm gonna do this.
96
00:06:18,744 --> 00:06:24,512
I want to have a kid,
and I am in the market for some...
97
00:06:24,650 --> 00:06:26,311
...semen.
98
00:06:26,852 --> 00:06:28,319
And...
99
00:06:30,623 --> 00:06:31,749
And?
100
00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:37,390
I need you to help me find some.
101
00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:45,237
So, what, are you gonna, like,
use a service?
102
00:06:45,371 --> 00:06:47,635
You gonna read resumes?
You know, all that stuff is crap.
103
00:06:47,773 --> 00:06:49,206
I heard about this woman in Queens,
104
00:06:49,341 --> 00:06:51,775
she thought she was buying the sperm
of an Ivy League athlete,
105
00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:53,435
turned out it came
from a homeless guy.
106
00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:55,240
Oh, you did not hear that.
107
00:06:55,648 --> 00:06:57,843
Kid turned out homeless.
She tried to sue and she lost.
108
00:06:57,983 --> 00:07:00,076
KASSIE:
You just made all of that up.
109
00:07:00,219 --> 00:07:02,187
- Did I?
- Why are you even on this train?
110
00:07:02,321 --> 00:07:05,051
Because we're not nearly done talking
about this.
111
00:07:05,191 --> 00:07:06,783
Wally, you're a vortex.
112
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:10,225
I have four interviews this week,
one of which I'm prepared for, okay?
113
00:07:10,362 --> 00:07:13,456
Listen. Now, what's wrong with my sperm,
by the way?
114
00:07:16,702 --> 00:07:19,262
- With your sperm?
- It works.
115
00:07:19,405 --> 00:07:21,100
Nothing.
116
00:07:21,841 --> 00:07:24,833
- I'm sure you have killer sperm.
- You're damn right.
117
00:07:24,977 --> 00:07:28,105
But, you know, we're best friends.
Isn't that weird? That'd be weird.
118
00:07:28,247 --> 00:07:29,976
- It is weird, you're right.
- That's weird.
119
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,175
- You know what else? How do I put this?
- Careful.
120
00:07:32,318 --> 00:07:34,878
- You're a little neurotic, you know?
- I see.
121
00:07:35,020 --> 00:07:37,511
- Little self-absorbed and pessimistic.
- I got it.
122
00:07:37,656 --> 00:07:39,715
And I'm not pessimistic, sorry,
I'm a realist.
123
00:07:39,859 --> 00:07:41,793
- Big difference.
- Wally, this is not about you.
124
00:07:41,927 --> 00:07:43,827
And whether you can deal with this
or not...
125
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:45,590
- Excuse me.
WALLY: Please don't say it.
126
00:07:45,731 --> 00:07:47,858
- Life's in session.
127
00:07:51,103 --> 00:07:54,004
LEONARD: She wouldn't know good
sperm if it slapped her in the face. Ugh.
128
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,732
What does she take you for, a eunuch?
129
00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:58,036
- You're jealous. It's perfectly normal.
- No, I'm not.
130
00:07:58,177 --> 00:08:00,702
This is big time primal stuff
you're dealing with, jungle stuff,
131
00:08:00,846 --> 00:08:02,336
and you have every right to be upset.
132
00:08:02,481 --> 00:08:05,075
She put you in the friend zone
six years ago, brother.
133
00:08:05,217 --> 00:08:06,707
That's a cold and inhospitable place
134
00:08:06,852 --> 00:08:08,581
where your manhood
is an endangered species.
135
00:08:08,721 --> 00:08:11,519
And now we're talking about your seed
getting devalued by her.
136
00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:14,592
Hey, so that we're clear,
she did not put me in the friend zone.
137
00:08:14,727 --> 00:08:16,752
We put each other in the friend zone.
It was mutual.
138
00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:18,158
Let's be honest with ourselves.
139
00:08:18,297 --> 00:08:19,662
You had your window with Kassie,
140
00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:21,824
and you went all Wally on her
and you doomed it.
141
00:08:21,967 --> 00:08:24,333
I went what?
Hey, what is that even supposed to mean?
142
00:08:24,470 --> 00:08:26,904
You shared too much too soon.
Quickest way to kill a romance.
143
00:08:27,039 --> 00:08:29,303
You gotta hide the crazy
at least through the appetizers.
144
00:08:29,441 --> 00:08:31,136
I see. So just so that I'm clear,
145
00:08:31,277 --> 00:08:33,802
which one of your three failed marriages
taught you that lesson?
146
00:08:33,946 --> 00:08:35,709
All three,
in their special and various ways.
147
00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:39,079
Exactly, so, okay,
I appreciate the kind advice, but I'm fine.
148
00:08:39,218 --> 00:08:40,276
- Are you? Are you?
- Yeah.
149
00:08:40,419 --> 00:08:43,650
Because I still don't know why the hell
you e-mailed me a picture of your armpit.
150
00:08:43,789 --> 00:08:46,986
I told you that I thought I had a growth.
And was it an armpit?
151
00:08:47,126 --> 00:08:49,219
Oh, golly, I hope so.
152
00:08:49,361 --> 00:08:51,454
[BELL RINGING]
153
00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:53,155
[CHATTERING]
154
00:08:53,299 --> 00:08:56,268
MAN: She's really ambitious, huh?
WOMAN: I didn't think she was interested.
155
00:08:56,402 --> 00:08:58,893
Please tell me you didn't invite Wally.
156
00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:02,906
- Of course I did.
- Is he bringing that Internet girl?
157
00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:05,272
- No, she broke up with him.
DEBBIE: Shocker.
158
00:09:05,411 --> 00:09:08,744
Do you know I've had orgasms
that last longer than his relationships?
159
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:11,372
Would you stop? Sorry.
160
00:09:11,750 --> 00:09:14,310
Okay, here are your talking points,
minister.
161
00:09:14,453 --> 00:09:17,650
Listen, I know that Wally
can be a bit blunt,
162
00:09:17,790 --> 00:09:20,452
but at least he tells it like it is,
you know what I mean?
163
00:09:20,593 --> 00:09:23,824
It's like when things get too intimate,
he gets... He walls up.
164
00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:28,366
But nobody... There's nobody I trust more.
I mean, he always has my back.
165
00:09:28,500 --> 00:09:29,728
DEBBIE:
Yeah, I get it, Kass.
166
00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:33,498
He's your BFF, he's a really good guy.
Totally undatable.
167
00:09:33,639 --> 00:09:36,665
KASSIE:
Nobody is totally undatable. Come on.
168
00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:40,074
I mean, there's gotta be somebody
out there for him.
169
00:09:40,212 --> 00:09:41,406
[BELL RINGS]
170
00:09:41,981 --> 00:09:43,642
Done.
171
00:09:44,483 --> 00:09:47,008
DIRECTOR: Places.
- I hope this party doesn't suck.
172
00:09:47,152 --> 00:09:48,551
[KASSIE CHUCKLES]
173
00:09:49,555 --> 00:09:50,715
KASSIE: Yup.
WALLY: All right.
174
00:09:50,856 --> 00:09:53,086
- You should have gotten Debbie a gift.
- Oh, come on.
175
00:09:53,225 --> 00:09:55,352
It's her 30th birthday.
She's really vulnerable.
176
00:09:55,494 --> 00:09:58,258
Pretending it's actually her 30th
is gonna be my gift to that old bag.
177
00:09:58,397 --> 00:09:59,455
[KASSIE CHUCKLES]
178
00:09:59,598 --> 00:10:00,758
Hey, so here's where I'm at.
179
00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:03,334
So I want a donor that I can meet,
you know?
180
00:10:03,469 --> 00:10:05,164
I want someone
whose eyes I can look into.
181
00:10:05,304 --> 00:10:07,568
I wanna be able to, you know,
shake his hand.
182
00:10:07,706 --> 00:10:10,197
And you can't do that
at a sperm bank, right?
183
00:10:10,342 --> 00:10:13,903
I also want it fresh, you know?
I don't really... I don't think I want it frozen.
184
00:10:14,046 --> 00:10:16,674
- Who wants frozen?
- Frozen's so refreshing, though.
185
00:10:17,616 --> 00:10:19,777
What kind of qualities
would you be shopping for?
186
00:10:19,919 --> 00:10:23,320
Uh, sense of humor is most important.
187
00:10:24,223 --> 00:10:27,351
Why do women always say that sense of
humor is always the most important thing?
188
00:10:27,493 --> 00:10:29,017
We all know that that's a lie.
189
00:10:29,895 --> 00:10:33,729
- Okay, so then height.
- No.
190
00:10:33,866 --> 00:10:37,802
But, you know, funny height.
Funny height.
191
00:10:37,937 --> 00:10:40,064
[DAN HARTMAN'S "INSTANT REPLAY"
PLAYING ON STEREO]
192
00:10:40,205 --> 00:10:42,139
[LAUGHTER AND CHATTERING]
193
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:54,843
DEBBIE: Come on, Wally Mars,
aren't you gonna dance with me?
194
00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:57,649
No, I'm not, birthday girl.
195
00:10:57,790 --> 00:11:01,487
- I'm not really feeling it tonight, you know?
- You are such a buzzkill.
196
00:11:01,860 --> 00:11:03,088
I don't wanna break your flow.
197
00:11:03,228 --> 00:11:05,355
You were doing a great job
of killing it over there.
198
00:11:05,497 --> 00:11:08,694
You dressed up for my party.
That's so nice.
199
00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:10,665
- You're welcome.
- Stripes.
200
00:11:10,803 --> 00:11:12,600
[DEBBIE CHUCKLES]
201
00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:15,298
Okay, who's dancing with me?
202
00:11:16,308 --> 00:11:17,707
Just perfect. Ha, ha.
203
00:11:19,878 --> 00:11:22,676
Sounds good. It's a funny horror film?
204
00:11:22,815 --> 00:11:25,283
DECLAN:
Well, it's a horror film meets, uh...
205
00:11:25,417 --> 00:11:28,875
Well, they haven't really made
an honest kickboxing film yet.
206
00:11:29,555 --> 00:11:30,886
That's so true.
207
00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:34,151
I hadn't thought about that,
but you're absolutely right.
208
00:11:34,293 --> 00:11:37,353
- That's...
- Hi. I'm bored. Let's get a kebab.
209
00:11:37,496 --> 00:11:42,160
Wally, this is Declan.
He's a, uh, writer-slash-director.
210
00:11:42,301 --> 00:11:44,132
- Hey, double threat.
- Hey, Wally.
211
00:11:44,269 --> 00:11:46,567
KASSIE: This is one of my oldest friends.
- That's right.
212
00:11:46,705 --> 00:11:48,900
- He's an equities analyst. Ha, ha.
- Analyst.
213
00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:51,066
- Seriously, come with me.
- I think I'm gonna stay.
214
00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:52,268
- I don't think so.
- What?
215
00:11:52,411 --> 00:11:55,346
Hey, Wally, you, uh,
got any great stock tips for me?
216
00:11:55,481 --> 00:11:58,143
Oh, Declan, they're all, you know,
they're all going straight up.
217
00:11:58,283 --> 00:12:00,808
You want some free advice?
Go on margin, go strong, go long.
218
00:12:00,953 --> 00:12:02,352
- Let's do it.
- Go strong, go long?
219
00:12:02,488 --> 00:12:03,546
- That's right.
- Really?
220
00:12:03,689 --> 00:12:05,213
- Yup.
- You always tell me to get out.
221
00:12:05,357 --> 00:12:08,190
- Changed my mind. Let's go, one second.
- Short and fast.
222
00:12:08,727 --> 00:12:10,695
Oh, boy, you see that?
You just got finger-gunned.
223
00:12:10,829 --> 00:12:12,729
I heard it.
224
00:12:13,032 --> 00:12:13,832
- Come on. Please?
- Oh, God, what?
225
00:12:13,832 --> 00:12:16,767
- Come on. Please?
- Oh, God, what?
226
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:19,632
- He's married.
- Divorced.
227
00:12:19,772 --> 00:12:21,899
- Then he's lying.
- How do you know that?
228
00:12:22,041 --> 00:12:24,339
There's a tan line on his finger
where his ring should be.
229
00:12:24,476 --> 00:12:25,534
What?
230
00:12:25,677 --> 00:12:27,702
You're not thinking of this guy
as a donor, are you?
231
00:12:27,846 --> 00:12:31,179
You know what? I don't know.
I don't know. I still might do it.
232
00:12:31,316 --> 00:12:34,149
What are you talking about?
Wait a sec, are you out of your mind?
233
00:12:34,286 --> 00:12:36,652
You're gonna let Captain Douche
be the father of your child?
234
00:12:36,789 --> 00:12:38,814
- That just locks it up for you?
- I don't know yet.
235
00:12:38,957 --> 00:12:40,288
All right.
236
00:12:41,693 --> 00:12:44,958
- I'll tell you what, you're on your own.
- Oh, yeah, okay.
237
00:12:48,367 --> 00:12:49,925
[SIGHS]
238
00:12:53,872 --> 00:12:55,533
Okay.
239
00:12:59,311 --> 00:13:01,108
Wally.
240
00:13:01,847 --> 00:13:04,145
Wally. Wally!
241
00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:06,046
[NU SHOOZ'S "I CAN'T WAIT"
PLAYING ON STEREO]
242
00:13:06,185 --> 00:13:07,243
Wally!
243
00:13:07,386 --> 00:13:09,149
[MUSIC VOLUME INCREASES]
244
00:13:10,823 --> 00:13:13,121
Declan, Declan, hey.
245
00:13:13,258 --> 00:13:14,919
Kassie left.
246
00:13:15,060 --> 00:13:17,051
- What?
- Yeah, Kassie had to go.
247
00:13:17,196 --> 00:13:18,424
Where?
248
00:13:18,564 --> 00:13:20,395
She had to go
to her dealer's house, okay?
249
00:13:20,532 --> 00:13:23,057
This guy's a little bit of a paranoid,
so she went by herself.
250
00:13:23,202 --> 00:13:24,760
She's gone to go pick up some drugs.
251
00:13:24,903 --> 00:13:28,134
Some ecstasy, bro,
and some Viagra, all right?
252
00:13:28,273 --> 00:13:30,264
And she digs you.
253
00:13:30,409 --> 00:13:33,173
- Ha, ha. She digs me.
- You bet your ass she digs you. It's on.
254
00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:36,304
It's on like "Donkey Kong," is actually
what she wanted me to say to you.
255
00:13:36,448 --> 00:13:39,906
Now, this is the address of the love shack,
and you gotta go right now.
256
00:13:40,052 --> 00:13:44,216
Go, seriously.
Establish a safe word too, okay?
257
00:13:46,091 --> 00:13:48,685
Wally! Come on.
258
00:13:49,027 --> 00:13:51,791
I cannot...
You sent him to Washington Heights?
259
00:13:51,930 --> 00:13:53,898
Yeah, Harlem's too gentrified.
I had to go higher.
260
00:13:54,032 --> 00:13:56,933
Wasn't even gonna go through with it.
It was just an idea.
261
00:13:57,069 --> 00:13:59,469
You know, I wanted to let it breathe.
262
00:13:59,605 --> 00:14:01,869
God, what's wrong...?
Why have you been so weird lately?
263
00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:03,406
- I haven't.
- Yeah, you have.
264
00:14:03,542 --> 00:14:05,703
- I don't think you should do it, you know.
- What?
265
00:14:05,844 --> 00:14:07,607
- The whole baby thing, all right?
- Stop it.
266
00:14:07,746 --> 00:14:09,873
- It's not right, it's not natural.
- Wally, stop.
267
00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:13,246
What if you meet someone tomorrow,
all right?
268
00:14:13,385 --> 00:14:14,545
Or like six months from now.
269
00:14:14,686 --> 00:14:18,281
You guys fall in love,
and by the time you realize it, it's too late.
270
00:14:18,423 --> 00:14:20,618
Why is this so hard for you to accept?
271
00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:22,627
Look, I'm not going to wait around
272
00:14:22,761 --> 00:14:25,628
for some version of this
that might never happen, okay?
273
00:14:25,764 --> 00:14:27,493
Look, this wasn't my plan either.
274
00:14:27,633 --> 00:14:29,601
I didn't grow up in Minnesota
dreaming of the day
275
00:14:29,735 --> 00:14:33,262
that I was gonna put an ad out
for a sperm donor on Craigslist.
276
00:14:33,405 --> 00:14:36,568
But I'm here and it's happening
and it's scary, and I can't count on you?
277
00:14:36,708 --> 00:14:40,769
I can't ask for your support without you
just spewing out constant judgments?
278
00:14:41,246 --> 00:14:43,111
You're supposed to be my friend.
279
00:14:43,248 --> 00:14:45,808
Well, yeah.
280
00:14:53,025 --> 00:14:55,653
I think we should take some time.
281
00:14:55,794 --> 00:14:57,659
I think we need a timeout.
282
00:14:58,830 --> 00:15:00,661
Already learning
how to speak Mommy, huh?
283
00:15:04,269 --> 00:15:06,931
Wow. Taxi.
284
00:15:08,373 --> 00:15:09,772
See you later.
285
00:15:15,814 --> 00:15:19,341
I'm not just your friend.
Debbie Epstein's your friend.
286
00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:22,277
[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING
ON STEREO]
287
00:15:25,457 --> 00:15:28,017
Look at you. Somebody chasing you?
288
00:15:28,860 --> 00:15:31,124
- Dude.
- Yup.
289
00:15:32,364 --> 00:15:35,390
- Let me guess, Kassie issues?
- No, no, there's no issue.
290
00:15:35,534 --> 00:15:37,195
We haven't seen each other for a week.
291
00:15:37,336 --> 00:15:39,099
- She says we're on a timeout.
- Timeout?
292
00:15:39,238 --> 00:15:40,830
- Yeah.
- Timeout?
293
00:15:40,973 --> 00:15:43,498
What are you, 6?
You didn't share your animal crackers?
294
00:15:43,642 --> 00:15:44,939
Grown-ups don't go on timeouts.
295
00:15:45,077 --> 00:15:47,341
Grown-ups have sex
with their lady friends, Mars.
296
00:15:47,479 --> 00:15:51,575
Okay, you're eating a chocolate bar
on two.
297
00:15:51,717 --> 00:15:54,811
It's not on two. It's certainly not on two.
And I needed just a little energy.
298
00:15:54,953 --> 00:15:56,648
- And I'm in the fat-burning zone.
- Right.
299
00:15:56,788 --> 00:15:59,450
You're burning muscle.
This is how you burn fat.
300
00:16:57,482 --> 00:16:58,283
[SUNRIDER'S "THE BOMB!"
PLAYING ON STEREO]
301
00:16:58,283 --> 00:16:59,341
[SUNRIDER'S "THE BOMB!"
PLAYING ON STEREO]
302
00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:01,349
[LAUGHTER AND CHATTERING]
303
00:17:07,426 --> 00:17:10,691
WOMAN: Aloha. Ha, ha.
- Hi. Oh, ha, ha.
304
00:17:10,829 --> 00:17:12,660
So sweet.
305
00:17:14,333 --> 00:17:17,200
Can I just do it then?
You're busy. Okay?
306
00:17:17,336 --> 00:17:21,739
Well, this is confusing.
One more of these. I got it.
307
00:17:21,873 --> 00:17:24,637
Cool if I did this by myself?
Picking up on your eyes.
308
00:17:24,776 --> 00:17:27,210
- Hey, Wally, want me to top off?
- Hi. No, thanks, I'm good.
309
00:17:27,346 --> 00:17:28,574
- Some bubbly?
- No, thank you.
310
00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:30,443
I'm gonna stick
with the hard stuff tonight.
311
00:17:30,582 --> 00:17:32,982
Hey, so who does this?
A party for insemination?
312
00:17:33,118 --> 00:17:36,747
- Is there even a doctor here, Debbie?
- Yes, Dr. Orensen.
313
00:17:38,657 --> 00:17:41,888
That guy?
Does he, like, practice out of a camper?
314
00:17:42,027 --> 00:17:43,619
He's progressive.
315
00:17:43,995 --> 00:17:47,487
This whole night was my idea.
It's how everybody's doing it these days.
316
00:17:47,632 --> 00:17:50,726
And Kassie's gonna go in the other room,
we're all gonna leave,
317
00:17:50,869 --> 00:17:55,067
and she's gonna, like,
do the deed with this big baster.
318
00:17:55,507 --> 00:17:57,975
Shouldn't that be cleaned
or something?
319
00:17:58,110 --> 00:18:00,510
- Why is it up here?
- I'm messing with you.
320
00:18:00,645 --> 00:18:02,510
- Oh.
- Ha, ha. Wally, you're so funny.
321
00:18:02,647 --> 00:18:04,137
Debbie, knock that off.
322
00:18:04,282 --> 00:18:05,613
She's gonna use a medical device.
323
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:07,719
But, you know,
it's basically the same thing.
324
00:18:07,853 --> 00:18:09,514
- It goes in and out.
- Mm-hm.
325
00:18:10,122 --> 00:18:11,783
Charming.
326
00:18:11,923 --> 00:18:15,359
Wally, what is wrong with you?
You have, like, this negative...
327
00:18:15,494 --> 00:18:18,588
All these negative ions
that pop off like fleas.
328
00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:22,131
- Here, try this, it'll make you less anxious.
- What's this?
329
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:24,599
I stole them from my mother.
330
00:18:25,137 --> 00:18:26,968
They're herbal.
331
00:18:27,639 --> 00:18:30,437
But they might as well
be pharmaceutical.
332
00:18:30,575 --> 00:18:34,636
- If I take one, will you walk away?
- I should change the guacamole.
333
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:38,147
You know when it goes from green
to brown, like, ugh, that putrid...?
334
00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:40,547
Kind of like your sweater.
335
00:18:40,685 --> 00:18:42,710
WOMAN: Debbie.
DEBBIE: All right.
336
00:18:48,193 --> 00:18:50,388
[MOANING]
337
00:19:08,013 --> 00:19:09,981
WALLY:
Unbelievable.
338
00:19:15,587 --> 00:19:17,418
Come on.
339
00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:22,456
This is a strange one, huh?
340
00:19:22,594 --> 00:19:25,256
- Only Kassie would do it like this.
- Yeah?
341
00:19:25,397 --> 00:19:27,558
- I don't know her that well.
- No?
342
00:19:27,699 --> 00:19:30,395
- Can I get you a drink?
- Uh, yes, you sure can.
343
00:19:31,770 --> 00:19:33,761
Thanks, bartender. I'm Wally.
344
00:19:33,905 --> 00:19:36,772
Roland. I'm the, uh, donor.
345
00:19:36,908 --> 00:19:38,307
[CHUCKLES]
346
00:19:38,944 --> 00:19:40,741
Yeah.
347
00:19:40,879 --> 00:19:42,210
- Roland, the donor.
- Yeah.
348
00:19:42,347 --> 00:19:46,750
I am... I am Wally, the best friend.
Kassie's best friend.
349
00:19:46,885 --> 00:19:50,343
Oh. That's okay.
350
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,483
Great.
351
00:19:52,624 --> 00:19:55,252
WOMAN: Hi.
ROLAND: Ahem. Hi.
352
00:19:57,529 --> 00:19:59,554
I feel like the prized hog.
353
00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:01,188
[CHUCKLES]
354
00:20:02,734 --> 00:20:07,034
Bet you're used to that, huh?
Hey, let me ask you a question. Um...
355
00:20:07,172 --> 00:20:08,696
Uh, why are you doing this?
356
00:20:10,509 --> 00:20:11,908
We could use the money.
357
00:20:12,344 --> 00:20:14,744
- We?
- Yeah, my wife and I.
358
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,474
Yeah, she's right over there.
359
00:20:18,416 --> 00:20:20,816
WALLY: Wow, she's beautiful.
ROLAND: Yeah, thank you.
360
00:20:20,952 --> 00:20:22,579
Mm-hm, she's the...
361
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:25,588
She's the light of my life. She is, uh...
She's my soul mate.
362
00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:28,716
Oh, man. Is she...? I'll bet...
Is she the wind under your wings?
363
00:20:28,860 --> 00:20:29,918
- Yeah.
- Right, I get it.
364
00:20:30,061 --> 00:20:32,825
Yeah. Yeah, so it gets a little tough
on a teacher's salary.
365
00:20:32,964 --> 00:20:34,625
I'm an assistant professor at Columbia.
366
00:20:34,766 --> 00:20:37,257
I teach a course
on feminist literary tradition.
367
00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:38,528
- Is that right?
- Yeah.
368
00:20:38,670 --> 00:20:40,228
DEBBIE:
Okay.
369
00:20:41,673 --> 00:20:44,506
- It's game time. You ready?
- Uh, okay.
370
00:20:44,643 --> 00:20:48,340
Pick out a nice room,
put everything, well, you know.
371
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:51,415
Duty calls. Good talking to you, Wally.
372
00:20:53,485 --> 00:20:54,918
Isn't he great?
373
00:20:55,053 --> 00:20:58,648
- Make way. It's happening, people.
MAN: All right, all right. No pressure.
374
00:21:13,872 --> 00:21:15,271
Hi.
375
00:21:15,407 --> 00:21:17,773
I just met your Viking.
376
00:21:18,443 --> 00:21:21,674
- Gorgeous, isn't he?
- Yeah, delicious.
377
00:21:28,219 --> 00:21:29,481
What's going on in here?
378
00:21:30,422 --> 00:21:32,481
- Truth?
- Mm-hm.
379
00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:34,683
I'm freaking out.
380
00:21:35,093 --> 00:21:41,362
I really thought that throwing a party
would, you know, make it fun, but it's...
381
00:21:42,167 --> 00:21:44,931
It's just really depressing.
382
00:21:45,670 --> 00:21:47,570
Come on.
383
00:21:48,406 --> 00:21:50,397
You think I'm crazy, don't you?
384
00:21:52,210 --> 00:21:57,512
I think that you wanna have a child,
and I think that that's natural.
385
00:21:59,117 --> 00:22:01,142
You're not nuts.
386
00:22:03,054 --> 00:22:04,988
You're okay.
387
00:22:06,658 --> 00:22:08,523
Thank you.
388
00:22:08,660 --> 00:22:10,184
- Oh, Wally, thank you.
- All right.
389
00:22:10,328 --> 00:22:12,125
- You get it, don't you?
- I get it.
390
00:22:12,263 --> 00:22:14,527
- You get it.
- Yeah.
391
00:22:24,209 --> 00:22:28,077
Okay, where's my crown? Oh.
392
00:22:30,582 --> 00:22:33,517
Okay. I'm gonna be fine.
393
00:22:33,652 --> 00:22:35,745
I'm just a little emotional.
394
00:22:36,688 --> 00:22:38,349
Crown looks fantastic.
395
00:22:39,858 --> 00:22:41,485
Bye.
396
00:22:48,733 --> 00:22:51,497
DEBBIE:
Let's do a toast. Okay, you guys.
397
00:22:51,636 --> 00:22:53,126
[GLASS CLINKING]
398
00:22:53,271 --> 00:22:54,932
- Are you all ready?
GUESTS: Yeah.
399
00:22:55,073 --> 00:23:00,568
DEBBIE: Before we get down
to the nitty-gritty and kick you all out,
400
00:23:01,212 --> 00:23:04,238
I just wanted to make a toast
to our donor, Roland.
401
00:23:04,382 --> 00:23:05,440
[CHEERING]
402
00:23:05,583 --> 00:23:06,777
GUESTS: Yeah!
- Yeah!
403
00:23:06,918 --> 00:23:08,783
Roland, where are you?
The man of our night.
404
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:11,787
Right there. There he is. Roland.
405
00:23:13,558 --> 00:23:16,152
- How'd it go in there?
- Uh...
406
00:23:16,695 --> 00:23:17,957
Debbie.
407
00:23:18,096 --> 00:23:24,968
I also wanna make a toast to our Kassie,
why we're all here.
408
00:23:25,103 --> 00:23:27,936
You're an inspiration to all of us.
409
00:23:28,073 --> 00:23:30,098
You are taking the bull by the horns.
410
00:23:30,241 --> 00:23:34,735
You're Venus,
and we're doing it, you know?
411
00:23:34,879 --> 00:23:37,109
So to Kassie.
412
00:23:37,248 --> 00:23:40,115
It's amazing.
We're doing it for ourselves.
413
00:23:40,251 --> 00:23:41,513
WOMAN:
Yeah, Kassie!
414
00:23:41,653 --> 00:23:43,587
[MADONNA'S "PAPA DON'T PREACH"
PLAYING ON STEREO]
415
00:23:43,722 --> 00:23:46,885
Oh, my God, you... You're kidding.
416
00:23:47,025 --> 00:23:51,018
I didn't even plan this. This is cosmic.
417
00:23:51,162 --> 00:23:53,528
[ALL SINGING]
418
00:23:53,665 --> 00:23:54,723
Hey, Wally.
419
00:23:58,570 --> 00:24:00,094
Come here, come here.
420
00:24:12,083 --> 00:24:14,278
WOMAN:
Yes, I'm in here.
421
00:24:14,419 --> 00:24:18,480
- Maybe use the other bathroom.
- All right.
422
00:24:19,758 --> 00:24:20,558
[FAT LARRY'S BAND'S "HERE COMES
THE SUN" PLAYING ON STEREO]
423
00:24:20,558 --> 00:24:22,890
[FAT LARRY'S BAND'S "HERE COMES
THE SUN" PLAYING ON STEREO]
424
00:24:27,031 --> 00:24:28,828
[WALLY SIGHS]
425
00:24:42,347 --> 00:24:43,871
[CHUCKLES]
426
00:24:47,252 --> 00:24:49,618
Pff, Kassie.
427
00:24:51,489 --> 00:24:53,047
[PEEING]
428
00:25:23,021 --> 00:25:26,479
Oh. Yeah.
429
00:25:35,166 --> 00:25:36,224
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
430
00:25:36,367 --> 00:25:38,631
MAN: Somebody in there?
- I'm in here.
431
00:25:38,770 --> 00:25:40,601
MAN:
Okay, sorry.
432
00:26:48,006 --> 00:26:49,598
[BELL RINGS]
433
00:27:10,628 --> 00:27:12,858
[VOMITS]
434
00:27:29,847 --> 00:27:32,714
LEONARD: Hey.
- Ah. Hey, my head. Please.
435
00:27:33,284 --> 00:27:35,616
You're fired. You're falling apart.
436
00:27:35,753 --> 00:27:39,052
- What the hell was that last night?
- What are you talking about?
437
00:27:39,190 --> 00:27:43,490
Showing up at my place
at 3 in the morning completely drunk?
438
00:27:43,628 --> 00:27:47,621
- Plastered? What is that?
- Whoa, whoa, what?
439
00:27:48,066 --> 00:27:49,658
I was at your place last night?
440
00:27:49,801 --> 00:27:53,532
Yes, and talking some scary
mumbiddy-jumbiddy.
441
00:27:53,671 --> 00:27:55,730
I had nightmares after that, man.
442
00:27:55,873 --> 00:27:58,171
What...? What was I saying?
443
00:27:58,309 --> 00:28:03,941
Oh, I don't know, some wild mutterings
about risky trade,
444
00:28:04,082 --> 00:28:09,213
Vikings, and, I don't know,
the music of it was foul and sinister.
445
00:28:09,354 --> 00:28:11,254
Gave me the willies,
gave me the heebie-jeebies.
446
00:28:11,389 --> 00:28:13,448
Very dark, really. Very disturbing.
447
00:28:13,591 --> 00:28:16,754
I loaded you into a car service pretty quick.
Forty bucks, my treat.
448
00:28:17,662 --> 00:28:20,062
- Leonard, I don't remember any of that.
- What?
449
00:28:21,566 --> 00:28:22,624
How can you not...?
450
00:28:22,767 --> 00:28:26,100
You don't recall at one point, uh,
barking out the name Diane Sawyer?
451
00:28:26,237 --> 00:28:29,900
"Diane Sawyer!"
You don't remember that? At all?
452
00:28:30,041 --> 00:28:31,565
Diane Sawyer
from Good Morning America?
453
00:28:31,709 --> 00:28:34,735
Yeah. By the way, she's always been
quite comely, hasn't she?
454
00:28:34,879 --> 00:28:37,245
Creamy complexion. Mm.
455
00:28:37,382 --> 00:28:39,873
I think she was
a Miss, uh, Something-or-Other.
456
00:28:40,318 --> 00:28:44,812
I went to Kassie's party,
and after that, uh...
457
00:28:46,024 --> 00:28:48,288
I guess I must have blacked out.
458
00:28:48,993 --> 00:28:51,325
- Blacked out?
- Yeah.
459
00:28:51,462 --> 00:28:53,896
Well, you threw up in my hallway
like a college girl.
460
00:28:54,499 --> 00:28:58,230
You seriously don't remember any of it?
461
00:28:58,603 --> 00:29:00,662
No, zero.
462
00:29:00,805 --> 00:29:02,466
Well, I'm telling you, you need help.
463
00:29:02,607 --> 00:29:03,938
[CHATTERING]
464
00:29:04,075 --> 00:29:05,235
[LEONARD SPEAKS IN JAPANESE]
465
00:29:05,376 --> 00:29:06,434
So nice, so nice.
466
00:29:06,577 --> 00:29:08,067
[WOMAN SPEAKS IN JAPANESE]
467
00:29:10,948 --> 00:29:13,576
Diane Sawyer?
468
00:29:15,453 --> 00:29:16,020
For murder, though it have no tongue,
will speak with most miraculous organ.
469
00:29:16,020 --> 00:29:21,754
For murder, though it have no tongue,
will speak with most miraculous organ.
470
00:29:22,460 --> 00:29:24,621
The play's the thing
471
00:29:24,996 --> 00:29:29,524
Wherein I'll catch the conscience
of the King.
472
00:29:36,307 --> 00:29:38,172
WALLY:
Ugh. Do we have to see the second half?
473
00:29:38,309 --> 00:29:40,277
KASSIE: Come on, it gets better.
- Do you promise?
474
00:29:40,411 --> 00:29:41,571
[KASSIE CHUCKLES]
475
00:29:41,712 --> 00:29:44,704
I'm not even making a joke.
I mean, it's really unbelievable in there.
476
00:29:44,849 --> 00:29:47,181
I mean, what is this guy
trying to prove, Kassie?
477
00:29:47,318 --> 00:29:49,377
Oh, please.
I thought it was extremely powerful.
478
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:50,817
- Thank you.
- It's not powerful.
479
00:29:50,955 --> 00:29:52,855
It's like introducing a new character,
you know?
480
00:29:52,990 --> 00:30:00,192
A very small, unsettling, uh,
character that, um, you know, frankly...
481
00:30:00,331 --> 00:30:01,457
I'm pregnant.
482
00:30:03,067 --> 00:30:05,661
- That is gonna make the king less inclined
to hear this guy out.
483
00:30:05,803 --> 00:30:08,431
I mean, he's not wearing any pants.
It's unnecessary.
484
00:30:08,573 --> 00:30:10,507
Did you hear what I just said?
485
00:30:12,810 --> 00:30:14,334
Yeah.
486
00:30:18,349 --> 00:30:19,475
WALLY:
She went on to tell me
487
00:30:19,617 --> 00:30:21,312
that she was moving back home
to Minnesota.
488
00:30:21,452 --> 00:30:23,977
KASSIE [WHISPERING]:
New York City is no place to raise a child.
489
00:30:24,555 --> 00:30:28,992
WALLY: Something about a better place
to raise a kid and loving grandparents.
490
00:30:31,262 --> 00:30:33,287
It ruined the second act for me,
which was a bummer
491
00:30:33,431 --> 00:30:36,161
because the naked guy
ended up killing a bunch of people
492
00:30:36,300 --> 00:30:37,790
and the play got pretty good.
493
00:30:37,935 --> 00:30:40,631
[MOJAVE 3'S "BLUEBIRD
OF HAPPINESS"PLAYING]
494
00:30:40,771 --> 00:30:43,205
Two weeks later, Kassie left.
495
00:30:43,341 --> 00:30:46,071
She got a little choked up
as the moving trucks pulled away,
496
00:30:47,011 --> 00:30:50,105
probably sensing what a gigantic mistake
she was making with her life.
497
00:30:51,749 --> 00:30:55,116
She bought me an Airedale terrier,
who I love.
498
00:30:55,253 --> 00:30:58,313
I had to have my floors redone
after one month.
499
00:30:58,689 --> 00:31:01,886
What do people see in dogs?
They're worse than babies.
500
00:31:04,529 --> 00:31:06,622
We promised to stay in touch,
but who are we kidding?
501
00:31:06,764 --> 00:31:10,256
She was a single mom,
and I lived in New York.
502
00:31:10,968 --> 00:31:15,667
There were Christmas cards and e-mails
but not much else.
503
00:31:48,706 --> 00:31:51,573
And after seven years,
504
00:31:51,709 --> 00:31:54,234
two failed relationships,
505
00:31:54,378 --> 00:31:59,247
one stock-market crash,
and numerous blind dates,
506
00:31:59,383 --> 00:32:01,146
there I was,
507
00:32:01,285 --> 00:32:03,480
right where Kassie left me.
508
00:32:03,621 --> 00:32:06,715
You know, when my friend told me
you were still single, I couldn't believe it.
509
00:32:06,857 --> 00:32:07,915
Yep, well...
510
00:32:08,059 --> 00:32:11,028
So you gonna try to take me off the market
on the first date, Pauline?
511
00:32:12,029 --> 00:32:14,964
Yes, I am thinking a June wedding.
512
00:32:15,099 --> 00:32:16,999
And then we'll move out
to the suburbs, huh?
513
00:32:17,635 --> 00:32:21,662
- Okay. Um, New Jersey?
- Great. Easy commute.
514
00:32:21,806 --> 00:32:25,207
Course, I have to work a ton
to afford that second house.
515
00:32:25,343 --> 00:32:26,469
[CHUCKLES]
516
00:32:26,611 --> 00:32:28,670
Although that could end up
just being an excuse.
517
00:32:28,813 --> 00:32:30,872
I might just be hiding from, you know,
518
00:32:31,015 --> 00:32:36,214
the ever-growing tedium
of New Jersey drudgery.
519
00:32:36,354 --> 00:32:37,616
[CHUCKLES]
520
00:32:37,755 --> 00:32:40,315
Which will then create
some sort of resentment in you.
521
00:32:40,458 --> 00:32:43,291
But you seem like the kind of person
that would internalize that, right?
522
00:32:43,427 --> 00:32:45,395
But, you know, you would act out
523
00:32:45,529 --> 00:32:48,191
in some sort
of self-destructive manner later.
524
00:32:48,332 --> 00:32:49,856
That's me.
525
00:32:50,001 --> 00:32:52,367
And I'm the kind of person
that would blame myself for that
526
00:32:52,503 --> 00:32:55,233
and probably end up
scheduling even more work out of town
527
00:32:55,373 --> 00:32:57,068
to deal with the guilt.
528
00:32:57,775 --> 00:32:59,470
Once I'm out of town,
I'm stuck in a hotel,
529
00:32:59,610 --> 00:33:01,475
I gotta masturbate incessantly
to the Internet,
530
00:33:01,612 --> 00:33:06,174
and you're probably back home
with some afternoon drinking problem.
531
00:33:06,317 --> 00:33:08,945
And I'm gonna end up
a pathetic 50-year-old bachelor
532
00:33:09,086 --> 00:33:12,385
wearing 300-dollar jeans
at a turnpike nightclub,
533
00:33:12,523 --> 00:33:15,083
speaking to women
I should not be speaking to
534
00:33:15,226 --> 00:33:16,284
because they're too young.
535
00:33:16,427 --> 00:33:17,826
[CHUCKLES]
536
00:33:20,865 --> 00:33:23,060
Or it could all work out great.
537
00:33:26,203 --> 00:33:30,833
Absolutely unbelievable.
What was I thinking?
538
00:33:30,975 --> 00:33:36,208
Just shut up and smile.
No good ever comes from you talking.
539
00:33:36,347 --> 00:33:38,975
VOICEMAIL:
You have one unheard message.
540
00:33:39,116 --> 00:33:41,016
KASSIE [ON PHONE]:
Hey, Wally, it's Kassie.
541
00:33:41,152 --> 00:33:43,814
Guess what.
We are moving back to New York.
542
00:33:43,954 --> 00:33:48,050
I got an amazing offer from ABC,
and I found a great school for Sebastian.
543
00:33:48,192 --> 00:33:50,285
He's already practicing his accent.
544
00:33:50,428 --> 00:33:55,024
Now, call me. This is very exciting.
Okay, bye.
545
00:34:02,907 --> 00:34:06,274
WALLY: Yeah, well, listen,
I was thinking that, uh, after dinner,
546
00:34:06,410 --> 00:34:09,470
maybe we should go by that, uh, wine bar
that we love to hate.
547
00:34:09,613 --> 00:34:12,309
You know, I think that cheesy old maitre d'
that always hit on you,
548
00:34:12,450 --> 00:34:15,248
- I think he's still alive.
- Oh, God, how old is he?
549
00:34:15,386 --> 00:34:16,785
WALLY:
A hundred and fifteen by now.
550
00:34:16,921 --> 00:34:17,979
[KASSIE CHUCKLES]
551
00:34:18,122 --> 00:34:20,818
Actually, Sebastian prefers
only hard alcohol.
552
00:34:21,325 --> 00:34:23,555
Sebastian, huh?
553
00:34:23,694 --> 00:34:27,130
- Not just gonna be you and me?
- What, you don't wanna see him?
554
00:34:27,264 --> 00:34:28,356
Come on. And you know what?
555
00:34:28,499 --> 00:34:30,990
You should actually get him something,
like a little gift.
556
00:34:31,369 --> 00:34:33,963
- Nothing big.
- A small gift, nothing big, huh?
557
00:34:34,105 --> 00:34:37,632
Okay, well, I'll get him, um...
558
00:34:37,775 --> 00:34:39,709
I'll get him...
How about I get him a basketball?
559
00:34:39,844 --> 00:34:42,005
KASSIE:
Actually, you know, he's not that athletic.
560
00:34:44,014 --> 00:34:47,006
- Well, then what should I get him?
- He collects picture frames.
561
00:34:47,151 --> 00:34:50,643
- Picture frames?
- Yeah. Yeah, it's weird, I know.
562
00:34:50,788 --> 00:34:54,315
- And he doesn't put pictures in them.
- Uh, wow.
563
00:34:54,458 --> 00:34:55,925
That is very unusual, Kassie.
564
00:34:56,060 --> 00:34:57,994
- Debbie's here. She says hi.
- Does she?
565
00:34:58,129 --> 00:34:59,721
She's helping me unpack.
566
00:34:59,864 --> 00:35:02,424
Oh, she made a dreamcatcher.
567
00:35:02,566 --> 00:35:04,796
It's just... I don't know.
We'll see, we'll just...
568
00:35:04,935 --> 00:35:09,338
So listen, um,
I will see you tonight, okay?
569
00:35:09,473 --> 00:35:13,739
Oh, yeah, Wally,
thank you for rejecting my friend request.
570
00:35:13,878 --> 00:35:14,936
Did you get that?
571
00:35:15,079 --> 00:35:17,741
You can tell Debbie
that it was all part of my master plan
572
00:35:17,882 --> 00:35:19,543
to get her completely out of my life.
573
00:35:20,017 --> 00:35:22,144
Right. I cannot tell her that.
574
00:35:22,286 --> 00:35:24,083
- Yeah, all right.
- Okay, see you later.
575
00:35:24,221 --> 00:35:25,313
Okay.
576
00:35:50,681 --> 00:35:53,115
Hi, I'm looking for a young lady that, uh...
577
00:35:53,250 --> 00:35:55,684
Oh, got it, right there.
578
00:36:04,094 --> 00:36:06,187
Pardon me, miss?
579
00:36:06,831 --> 00:36:08,230
Wow.
580
00:36:08,365 --> 00:36:10,128
Hi.
581
00:36:11,902 --> 00:36:13,733
- You look great.
- Look at you.
582
00:36:15,506 --> 00:36:17,667
Who took over dressing you?
583
00:36:17,808 --> 00:36:21,938
- Nobody. What are you talking about?
- Come on. I like it.
584
00:36:22,079 --> 00:36:24,240
- How's Sebastian? Where is he?
- Oh, he's over there.
585
00:36:24,381 --> 00:36:25,871
But listen, if he's a little strange,
586
00:36:26,016 --> 00:36:29,213
it's just he's having some
adjustment issues to the move, so...
587
00:36:29,353 --> 00:36:31,048
But he's watching the fish.
588
00:36:34,258 --> 00:36:38,558
- I think he's gonna be just fine.
MAN: Matthew, come on, it's time to go.
589
00:36:45,269 --> 00:36:46,759
[SIGHS]
590
00:36:54,979 --> 00:36:57,209
I think I have cyclothymic disorder.
591
00:36:57,681 --> 00:37:00,149
I looked right at the shark
and felt nothing.
592
00:37:00,284 --> 00:37:03,720
Honey, I don't know what that is,
but I'm sure you don't have it.
593
00:37:03,854 --> 00:37:06,914
Sweetie, this is Uncle Wally. Say hi.
594
00:37:07,057 --> 00:37:09,787
- Hi.
- Hi, Sebastian.
595
00:37:09,927 --> 00:37:13,419
Cyclothymic disorder:
Emotional ups and downs,
596
00:37:13,564 --> 00:37:18,661
hyperactivity, loss of interest
and/or pleasure, lack of sexual drive.
597
00:37:18,802 --> 00:37:21,669
Okay, was I not clear about WebMD?
598
00:37:21,805 --> 00:37:24,501
Sebastian, now, look,
Wally has a gift for you.
599
00:37:24,642 --> 00:37:28,339
- Let's see what he got you.
- Yes, I do. Take a look at this.
600
00:37:29,613 --> 00:37:34,573
That's so sweet, Wally, very sweet.
601
00:37:34,718 --> 00:37:36,447
Oh, wow.
602
00:37:41,425 --> 00:37:43,450
It's a Lunt Silver Edition.
603
00:37:47,631 --> 00:37:50,225
- Where's the picture?
- What picture?
604
00:37:50,367 --> 00:37:54,428
The one that comes with the frame.
It's the most important part.
605
00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:59,305
- What?
- This frame's used.
606
00:38:01,745 --> 00:38:02,803
Say thank you.
607
00:38:03,614 --> 00:38:05,275
- Thanks.
WALLY: You got it.
608
00:38:05,416 --> 00:38:08,783
Look at this. Okay, guys.
Here's a big surprise.
609
00:38:08,919 --> 00:38:11,183
I called ahead on the phone,
I pre-ordered this.
610
00:38:11,322 --> 00:38:15,088
Are you ready for the best duck
in the whole wide world? Huh?
611
00:38:15,225 --> 00:38:18,558
- I can't eat duck.
- What do you mean, you can't eat duck?
612
00:38:18,696 --> 00:38:22,132
Wally, do you know what they do to ducks
at the waterfowl farms?
613
00:38:22,266 --> 00:38:25,827
No, no, sweetie, I think that's veal.
You're thinking of veal.
614
00:38:25,970 --> 00:38:29,167
No, I read about the ducks too.
615
00:38:29,306 --> 00:38:32,173
They force-feed the ducks
7 pounds of food a day
616
00:38:32,309 --> 00:38:34,607
through a plastic tube
they drill into their throats.
617
00:38:34,745 --> 00:38:37,543
I called on the phone, I pre-ordered this.
618
00:38:37,681 --> 00:38:39,945
The ducks get this liver disease
called hepatic lipidosis
619
00:38:40,084 --> 00:38:41,210
and they can't walk.
620
00:38:41,652 --> 00:38:46,146
Nature's in crisis,
and there's only one mammal to blame.
621
00:38:48,425 --> 00:38:49,915
What's going on here?
What do you got?
622
00:38:50,894 --> 00:38:52,225
He's stubborn.
623
00:38:53,297 --> 00:38:54,423
Hey, guess what.
624
00:38:54,565 --> 00:38:56,055
This cost me $84,
625
00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:58,725
and it's gonna be about
the best culinary treat you've ever had.
626
00:38:58,869 --> 00:39:00,393
I won't do it, Uncle Wally.
627
00:39:00,537 --> 00:39:03,233
- And I'll hate you if you do.
- Okay, let's not...
628
00:39:03,374 --> 00:39:06,775
We don't say "hate," sweetie.
We don't say "hate."
629
00:39:07,411 --> 00:39:09,072
Okay?
630
00:39:09,847 --> 00:39:13,613
- We can have rice with soy sauce.
- Great, rice with soy sauce.
631
00:39:14,051 --> 00:39:18,181
That's a great compromise.
Uncle Wally loves rice.
632
00:39:18,756 --> 00:39:20,018
He likes you.
633
00:39:20,424 --> 00:39:23,723
- You're kidding, right?
- No, that's like for him, it is.
634
00:39:23,861 --> 00:39:25,385
Hey, listen, will you do me a favor?
635
00:39:25,529 --> 00:39:27,724
Would you watch him
for a couple hours this weekend?
636
00:39:27,865 --> 00:39:29,526
- I don't think...
- No, it is, here.
637
00:39:29,667 --> 00:39:32,966
See, I have to go to a parent, um,
orientation thing at his school.
638
00:39:33,103 --> 00:39:35,094
It would really help me out.
639
00:39:35,239 --> 00:39:38,072
I also think it would be good for you guys
to spend some time together,
640
00:39:38,208 --> 00:39:40,233
you know, a little get-to-know-me time.
641
00:39:41,378 --> 00:39:42,811
Hi, excuse me.
642
00:39:42,946 --> 00:39:47,144
Hi, could I get a soda
on the rocks, uh, for myself
643
00:39:47,284 --> 00:39:49,252
and, uh, some steamed vegetables?
644
00:39:49,386 --> 00:39:51,411
[MOANING]
645
00:39:58,896 --> 00:40:01,091
- Sorry about that, Wally.
- Yeah, don't worry about it.
646
00:40:01,231 --> 00:40:02,721
I'll expense it, okay?
647
00:40:02,866 --> 00:40:06,131
And I'll, uh, just cut it up
and put it in my cereal.
648
00:40:06,270 --> 00:40:09,296
- It's better than bananas.
- Ooh, that sounds delicious.
649
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:11,408
The neck is sort of, you know,
shaped like banana,
650
00:40:11,542 --> 00:40:13,066
so it'll slice up nice.
651
00:40:13,610 --> 00:40:15,305
KASSIE:
Honey, stay close.
652
00:40:15,446 --> 00:40:18,074
- Isn't he great?
- Oh, my gosh.
653
00:40:18,215 --> 00:40:20,979
- He thinks I'm a lesbian.
- What?
654
00:40:21,118 --> 00:40:26,112
I guess the only mothers he knows
with seed guys for fathers are lesbians.
655
00:40:26,256 --> 00:40:27,746
SEBASTIAN:
Mom.
656
00:40:28,225 --> 00:40:30,693
- Can I go in?
- No, sweetie, we've gotta get home.
657
00:40:31,328 --> 00:40:32,886
He's so smart and willful,
658
00:40:33,030 --> 00:40:36,591
and he considers everything,
and it's just never boring.
659
00:40:36,734 --> 00:40:40,534
WALLY: He went in.
- I know, he does that.
660
00:40:45,342 --> 00:40:47,276
What's a... What's a seed guy?
661
00:40:47,411 --> 00:40:51,040
Uh, that's his... Part of his birth story.
662
00:40:51,648 --> 00:40:52,979
This should be good.
663
00:40:53,117 --> 00:40:56,712
It's the story I've been telling him
about how he got here.
664
00:40:57,321 --> 00:41:00,415
I told him that Mommy
didn't have a husband
665
00:41:00,557 --> 00:41:05,324
but wanted you so very, very much
that she couldn't wait another day.
666
00:41:05,829 --> 00:41:09,788
And so she went to the doctor,
and the doctor said,
667
00:41:09,933 --> 00:41:13,391
"If you go out into the world
and you look very, very hard,
668
00:41:13,837 --> 00:41:18,865
you'll find a very special person who,
if you ask very nicely,
669
00:41:19,009 --> 00:41:20,374
will give you seeds,"
670
00:41:21,145 --> 00:41:23,409
so that I can plant you in my tummy.
671
00:41:23,547 --> 00:41:25,174
Got it.
672
00:41:25,716 --> 00:41:28,014
But l... You know, I've read all the books
673
00:41:28,152 --> 00:41:30,643
about how you're supposed to talk
about this stuff,
674
00:41:30,788 --> 00:41:34,849
and until it happens,
nothing can prepare you for the day
675
00:41:34,992 --> 00:41:36,721
when your kid comes home crying
after school
676
00:41:36,860 --> 00:41:40,159
because some lard-ass
called him a science experiment.
677
00:41:47,504 --> 00:41:49,665
Okay, I'm gonna go in.
678
00:41:53,477 --> 00:41:55,206
[CELL PHONE BEEPS]
679
00:41:56,180 --> 00:41:57,408
WOMAN:
Thank you.
680
00:41:57,548 --> 00:41:59,607
[SOFT POP MUSIC PLAYING
ON SPEAKERS]
681
00:42:02,653 --> 00:42:06,282
- Who was that?
- A text. Text from Roland.
682
00:42:07,758 --> 00:42:12,024
- Who's Roland?
- The seed guy. The donor.
683
00:42:13,897 --> 00:42:17,856
- You still talk to him?
- Yeah. Well, I called him when I got back.
684
00:42:18,001 --> 00:42:19,059
Why? What for?
685
00:42:19,203 --> 00:42:22,104
Well, there's a reason I didn't want
the donor to be anonymous.
686
00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:24,639
You know, so that when Sebastian
started asking questions,
687
00:42:24,775 --> 00:42:26,504
I would have answers.
688
00:42:26,643 --> 00:42:29,043
And I'd like to get to know this guy.
689
00:42:29,179 --> 00:42:31,374
You know,
someday I think I'd like them to meet.
690
00:42:31,515 --> 00:42:33,745
Okay, what's Mrs. Roland gonna think
about all of this?
691
00:42:33,884 --> 00:42:37,479
There isn't a Mrs. Roland.
They got a divorce.
692
00:42:41,792 --> 00:42:46,229
So I'm very sorry
to hear about your divorce, by the way.
693
00:42:46,363 --> 00:42:48,831
Oh. Thank you.
694
00:42:48,966 --> 00:42:50,763
Don't worry, it's, uh...
695
00:42:50,901 --> 00:42:53,267
I won't get into how the marriage ended.
696
00:42:53,403 --> 00:42:57,169
I don't wanna bore you with the details
of how she cheated on me.
697
00:42:57,307 --> 00:42:59,673
- Oh.
- Let's just say it's gonna be a long time
698
00:42:59,810 --> 00:43:03,678
before I can trust anyone
involved in the instruction of Pilates.
699
00:43:03,814 --> 00:43:06,442
We'll just leave it at that.
700
00:43:07,084 --> 00:43:09,314
Yeah, okay, fair enough.
701
00:43:09,953 --> 00:43:11,011
[CHUCKLES]
702
00:43:11,989 --> 00:43:17,256
So listen, you're under no obligation
to do anything.
703
00:43:17,394 --> 00:43:19,828
And I know that you didn't expect
to do anything
704
00:43:19,963 --> 00:43:22,625
other than, um, you know, donating.
705
00:43:22,766 --> 00:43:26,566
Uh, which you did so wonderfully,
by the way.
706
00:43:26,703 --> 00:43:28,398
- I don't mean that to sound like...
- Kass.
707
00:43:28,538 --> 00:43:30,972
You know what I meant.
I just meant for future, down the road,
708
00:43:31,108 --> 00:43:32,735
- if he starts to ask questions...
- Kass.
709
00:43:32,876 --> 00:43:34,275
KASSIE:
Mm-hm?
710
00:43:34,878 --> 00:43:36,869
I was honored to receive your call.
711
00:43:37,748 --> 00:43:38,806
Really?
712
00:43:38,949 --> 00:43:44,319
I always wondered about this, you know,
him and you and how it turned out.
713
00:43:44,454 --> 00:43:45,546
I mean, you know...
714
00:43:45,689 --> 00:43:48,522
Roland, would you like to see
a picture of him?
715
00:43:49,526 --> 00:43:52,188
- I would love that.
- Would you?
716
00:43:53,463 --> 00:43:56,227
- Ready?
- Let me see.
717
00:43:56,366 --> 00:43:57,731
Oh.
718
00:43:58,835 --> 00:43:59,893
He's beautiful.
719
00:44:01,071 --> 00:44:02,129
Isn't he?
720
00:44:02,539 --> 00:44:05,838
I gotta say, Kass,
721
00:44:05,976 --> 00:44:10,072
I see a lot more of me in him than you.
722
00:44:10,213 --> 00:44:11,680
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
723
00:44:11,815 --> 00:44:12,873
Wow.
724
00:44:13,016 --> 00:44:16,645
ROLAND: Hey, I didn't get to say this
to you back then, but I really respect you.
725
00:44:17,354 --> 00:44:20,551
Your choice,
in doing this the way that you did.
726
00:44:21,224 --> 00:44:23,124
It took a lot of guts.
727
00:44:23,260 --> 00:44:27,993
It was courageous,
and I simply don't see that out there.
728
00:44:29,900 --> 00:44:33,597
- What?
- No, nothing. It's just...
729
00:44:35,305 --> 00:44:38,331
That's a really kind thing to say.
730
00:44:39,409 --> 00:44:40,899
Well, it's true.
731
00:44:42,879 --> 00:44:47,748
Well, this went...
This went a lot better than I expected.
732
00:44:47,884 --> 00:44:49,078
Yeah, for me too.
733
00:44:49,853 --> 00:44:51,411
Yeah.
734
00:44:54,958 --> 00:44:56,585
KASSIE: Coffee hot?
ROLAND: Yes.
735
00:44:57,461 --> 00:44:59,429
[PENGUINS SQUAWKING]
736
00:45:05,569 --> 00:45:08,936
WALLY: I've always found penguins
a bit of a mystery.
737
00:45:10,140 --> 00:45:12,108
SEBASTIAN:
I think puppets are a mystery.
738
00:45:18,115 --> 00:45:21,482
- I'm having a birthday party.
- Oh, yeah? Well, you enjoy that.
739
00:45:21,618 --> 00:45:22,676
There's gonna come a time
740
00:45:22,819 --> 00:45:25,344
when you're not gonna want people
to know it's your birthday.
741
00:45:25,489 --> 00:45:28,890
Why wouldn't anyone want people to know
about their birthday?
742
00:45:29,659 --> 00:45:32,025
Because getting old sucks.
743
00:45:32,162 --> 00:45:34,130
Most people don't accomplish
what they'd hoped to,
744
00:45:34,264 --> 00:45:37,290
and they realize
that they're most likely not going to.
745
00:45:37,434 --> 00:45:39,425
They end up living these quiet lives
of denial,
746
00:45:39,569 --> 00:45:41,730
and, you know,
brushing birthdays under the rug
747
00:45:41,872 --> 00:45:44,432
just becomes a big part of that.
748
00:45:47,411 --> 00:45:51,575
Do you ever get scared
that you could have Parkinson's disease?
749
00:45:52,816 --> 00:45:55,751
Not specifically Parkinson's,
but I'm not gonna lie,
750
00:45:55,886 --> 00:45:57,854
I've had my bouts with hypochondria.
751
00:45:58,922 --> 00:45:59,980
What's that?
752
00:46:00,123 --> 00:46:03,524
That's thinking that you have diseases
that you don't really have.
753
00:46:04,828 --> 00:46:07,763
Oh, my God, I have that.
754
00:46:10,867 --> 00:46:12,835
WALLY: Do you wanna tell me
about your new school?
755
00:46:13,236 --> 00:46:14,863
SEBASTIAN:
Why?
756
00:46:15,906 --> 00:46:18,773
Because you're a kid,
there's nothing else to talk about.
757
00:46:18,909 --> 00:46:21,002
SEBASTIAN:
Well...
758
00:46:21,545 --> 00:46:24,343
I don't wanna talk about it.
759
00:46:27,150 --> 00:46:28,947
What's his name?
760
00:46:30,987 --> 00:46:32,477
Aaron O'Connor.
761
00:46:34,257 --> 00:46:35,554
Aaron O'Connor.
762
00:46:37,360 --> 00:46:40,796
- How'd you know?
- Because I've been there.
763
00:46:41,164 --> 00:46:44,895
- You went to P.S. 66?
- No, the proverbial there.
764
00:46:45,035 --> 00:46:48,129
You know you're gonna have to stand up
to him sooner or later, right?
765
00:46:48,572 --> 00:46:50,403
I don't want to.
766
00:46:50,540 --> 00:46:52,303
Well, then he's probably
gonna kick your ass.
767
00:46:52,442 --> 00:46:54,433
You all right with that?
768
00:46:54,578 --> 00:46:58,639
But he's bigger than me
and he knows karate.
769
00:46:58,782 --> 00:47:02,377
Oh, he's a karate guy.
Well, then just, uh...
770
00:47:02,519 --> 00:47:06,512
Tell you what.
What you do is you act crazy.
771
00:47:06,656 --> 00:47:09,318
- What?
- Yeah, you act crazy, all right?
772
00:47:09,459 --> 00:47:10,790
No one messes with the crazy guy.
773
00:47:10,927 --> 00:47:13,657
You just look at him
like you just don't give a fu...
774
00:47:14,331 --> 00:47:15,958
Funyun.
775
00:47:16,099 --> 00:47:19,967
- Like a don't give a Funyun?
- That's right, like you don't give a Funyun.
776
00:47:20,103 --> 00:47:22,094
Like you don't care
what happens to you, okay?
777
00:47:22,239 --> 00:47:23,831
Just like you're insane.
778
00:47:24,241 --> 00:47:26,869
Crazy people are wild cards,
they're very unpredictable.
779
00:47:27,010 --> 00:47:29,843
You never know what they're gonna do.
It makes people very scared.
780
00:47:29,980 --> 00:47:32,471
It scares even Aaron O' Connor.
781
00:47:33,083 --> 00:47:35,643
- Okay?
- Okay.
782
00:47:45,996 --> 00:47:47,122
He looks just like you.
783
00:47:47,264 --> 00:47:48,322
[CHUCKLES]
784
00:47:48,465 --> 00:47:50,296
He's not my son.
785
00:47:52,936 --> 00:47:57,873
- How old is he?
- Uh, I think he's 5. Five, I think.
786
00:47:59,075 --> 00:48:00,633
Well...
787
00:48:01,144 --> 00:48:03,044
He's a little you.
788
00:48:17,761 --> 00:48:19,251
It's really cool.
789
00:48:19,396 --> 00:48:20,658
[LOUD VEHICLE PASSES]
790
00:48:20,797 --> 00:48:23,664
Hi. Come here.
791
00:48:24,634 --> 00:48:28,229
Hey. Hi.
792
00:48:28,371 --> 00:48:30,771
- We went to the zoo, and it was really fun.
- Really?
793
00:48:30,907 --> 00:48:34,308
Oh, my gosh,
that sounds like so much fun.
794
00:48:34,444 --> 00:48:36,002
Wally showed me the whole park.
795
00:48:36,713 --> 00:48:38,510
KASSIE:
Mm.
796
00:48:39,316 --> 00:48:40,977
- Would you grab my bag?
- Yeah.
797
00:48:41,117 --> 00:48:44,143
KASSIE: Okay, tell me more about it.
What else did you see?
798
00:48:48,124 --> 00:48:50,251
So here's what we got.
799
00:48:50,393 --> 00:48:56,127
If you go with the cowboys again,
that means that in your dreams,
800
00:48:56,266 --> 00:48:58,700
you're gonna travel
to the plains of Colorado
801
00:48:58,835 --> 00:49:01,702
and you're gonna herd cattle.
802
00:49:01,838 --> 00:49:03,533
But I don't wanna kill any Indians.
803
00:49:03,873 --> 00:49:06,603
Well, you don't have to kill
any Indians, honey.
804
00:49:07,110 --> 00:49:11,046
- What about if I go with the astronauts?
- Okay.
805
00:49:11,181 --> 00:49:13,843
If you go with the astronauts,
806
00:49:13,984 --> 00:49:16,384
that means you're gonna travel
to the moon,
807
00:49:16,519 --> 00:49:20,717
and you'll be driving on the moon
in one of those really cool buggies
808
00:49:20,857 --> 00:49:22,950
that has a flag coming out of the back.
809
00:49:23,093 --> 00:49:25,220
SEBASTIAN:
I think I'll go with the astronauts.
810
00:49:25,362 --> 00:49:28,525
KASSIE:
Good choice. Let's get you in bed.
811
00:49:28,665 --> 00:49:30,895
Oh, my Lord, to the moon we go.
812
00:49:31,034 --> 00:49:35,232
We're gonna have to decide who's gonna
be sleeping with Sebastian tonight.
813
00:49:35,372 --> 00:49:38,307
SEBASTIAN: Hmm.
- Duck or unfortunate chicken?
814
00:49:39,142 --> 00:49:41,042
- Dead chicken.
- Dead chicken?
815
00:49:41,177 --> 00:49:43,008
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
816
00:49:43,880 --> 00:49:45,643
Oh, poor dead chicken.
817
00:49:50,620 --> 00:49:53,145
God, he's exhausted.
818
00:49:53,290 --> 00:49:54,780
What did you do to him?
819
00:49:54,924 --> 00:49:57,017
WALLY:
Did you finally get him to pass out?
820
00:49:57,160 --> 00:50:00,254
Yup, I did. What are you looking at?
821
00:50:00,664 --> 00:50:05,067
Looking at some really weird pictures
for some reason you keep.
822
00:50:05,201 --> 00:50:07,601
Like this one.
That was not a great choice.
823
00:50:07,737 --> 00:50:08,931
Are you kid...?
824
00:50:09,072 --> 00:50:11,939
- Fabulous choice. What do you mean?
- Not really.
825
00:50:12,075 --> 00:50:16,068
And how odd
that you were the only one not in costume.
826
00:50:16,780 --> 00:50:17,838
So not like you.
827
00:50:17,981 --> 00:50:20,415
If I had bunny ears like that,
I would've worn them.
828
00:50:21,384 --> 00:50:24,615
- That was our second date, right?
- Yes, I think you're right.
829
00:50:24,754 --> 00:50:29,384
And didn't you make us dance
to C+C Music Factory this whole party?
830
00:50:29,526 --> 00:50:32,086
- I think you did.
- I do believe I did make us do that.
831
00:50:32,228 --> 00:50:34,196
Yeah. They were like your favorite band
back then.
832
00:50:34,331 --> 00:50:37,630
- You were, like, a C+C super fan.
- That's right, I was.
833
00:50:40,670 --> 00:50:42,934
And you kissed me at this party, I think.
834
00:50:43,573 --> 00:50:48,237
I didn't kiss... I was in character.
I was a Playboy Bunny.
835
00:50:48,378 --> 00:50:49,936
- Please.
- Big kiss.
836
00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:53,811
Do you remember
that you disappeared on me that night?
837
00:50:54,150 --> 00:50:56,584
You were supposed to take me home.
838
00:50:58,555 --> 00:51:00,523
Heading for the hills
when things get too intense?
839
00:51:00,657 --> 00:51:02,124
That doesn't sound like me.
840
00:51:02,258 --> 00:51:03,885
[WALLY CHUCKLES]
841
00:51:08,998 --> 00:51:12,365
Wasn't this the trip that I was supposed
to go on that I didn't go on?
842
00:51:12,502 --> 00:51:14,868
Wasn't it your third, um?
843
00:51:21,044 --> 00:51:24,946
SEBASTIAN:
Mom, I think I wanna herd cattle.
844
00:51:26,049 --> 00:51:27,175
Okay.
845
00:51:27,717 --> 00:51:29,344
I'm gonna...
846
00:51:30,620 --> 00:51:31,678
I'm going to...
847
00:51:31,821 --> 00:51:33,550
- I gotta go get into my p.j.'s too.
- Okay.
848
00:51:33,690 --> 00:51:35,214
WALLY:
I'll call you in the morning.
849
00:51:41,865 --> 00:51:44,060
[INDISTINCT DIALOGUE ON TV]
850
00:51:48,471 --> 00:51:52,339
And the most inventive
are video open houses right now.
851
00:52:07,757 --> 00:52:10,089
LEONARD [ON PHONE]: Hello?
WALLY: Hey, Leonard, Wally here.
852
00:52:10,226 --> 00:52:12,353
Listen, I'm freaking out a little bit.
853
00:52:12,495 --> 00:52:15,055
LEONARD:
Yeah. Yeah, no. Put it in my mouth.
854
00:52:15,198 --> 00:52:17,393
WALLY: Hello?
- Hello? Yes? Wait a second.
855
00:52:17,534 --> 00:52:19,161
Are you eating?
Want me to call you back?
856
00:52:19,302 --> 00:52:22,100
No, no, no, I'm fine.
Tell me what you're freaking out about.
857
00:52:22,238 --> 00:52:26,675
Well, you know, I just...
I think that, um, l...
858
00:52:26,810 --> 00:52:30,405
[STAMMERS] That somehow... Hey.
Okay, stay with me here.
859
00:52:30,547 --> 00:52:33,448
I've been hanging out with Sebastian a lot
over the last couple of weeks,
860
00:52:33,583 --> 00:52:38,077
and there's these similarities
and coincidences that...
861
00:52:38,221 --> 00:52:41,213
I mean, I gotta run this stuff by Kassie.
She's, uh...
862
00:52:41,357 --> 00:52:44,224
LEONARD: What's the matter?
- Here comes the crazy. Somehow...
863
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:47,693
- Yes?
- It's like this kid is mine.
864
00:52:47,831 --> 00:52:51,995
- Like he's more me than the Viking.
- The kid might be yours?
865
00:52:52,135 --> 00:52:54,126
Viking?
866
00:52:54,270 --> 00:52:57,467
I don't know why, vaguely,
what you're saying...
867
00:52:57,607 --> 00:53:00,667
Hmm. Hmm.
868
00:53:00,810 --> 00:53:03,301
Where are you now?
Come over here, why don't you?
869
00:53:03,446 --> 00:53:04,606
WALLY: Hang on.
LEONARD: What?
870
00:53:04,747 --> 00:53:07,580
- Why wouldn't you tell me that before?
- Because... Don't get mad at me.
871
00:53:07,717 --> 00:53:09,947
Because you never needed my help
before this.
872
00:53:10,086 --> 00:53:13,021
I'm giving you everything I have.
You know, this was seven years ago.
873
00:53:13,156 --> 00:53:15,317
You were so drunk
and you were talking gibberish,
874
00:53:15,458 --> 00:53:19,053
and I didn't know that, uh,
"trading Diane Sawyer to the Vikings"
875
00:53:19,195 --> 00:53:20,753
meant anything to anybody.
876
00:53:20,897 --> 00:53:25,334
- How...? What does that mean?
- What does it mean? What...?
877
00:53:25,468 --> 00:53:28,904
Roland is the Viking, the Viking is Roland.
Don't you see what that means?
878
00:53:29,038 --> 00:53:30,096
Who is Roland?
879
00:53:30,240 --> 00:53:32,265
Kassie's donor is Roland.
Roland's the Viking.
880
00:53:32,408 --> 00:53:34,433
He's the donor.
I'm sorry if I didn't tell you that.
881
00:53:34,577 --> 00:53:35,703
Okay, well, okay.
882
00:53:35,845 --> 00:53:39,747
So, what you're saying
is that, um, he is the donor,
883
00:53:39,883 --> 00:53:41,646
and there was a trade made.
884
00:53:41,784 --> 00:53:44,150
- Yup.
- Okay, uh, what kind of trade?
885
00:53:44,287 --> 00:53:46,619
- Who...? For who? Who?
- Oh, my God, holy shit.
886
00:53:46,756 --> 00:53:51,056
I mean, you don't think that I could have...?
That I?
887
00:53:51,194 --> 00:53:53,287
You're what? You're what?
Help me out here.
888
00:53:53,429 --> 00:54:00,301
That I could have traded
the Viking's ingredient for my...
889
00:54:02,906 --> 00:54:05,170
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
890
00:54:05,308 --> 00:54:09,039
Wow. How would that have even
occurred? Was there?
891
00:54:09,178 --> 00:54:12,477
I'm trying to picture it.
Was there access to, uh, his ingredients?
892
00:54:12,615 --> 00:54:14,242
- I don't even know...
- Was there access?
893
00:54:14,384 --> 00:54:16,249
I mean, I don't know, I...
894
00:54:19,055 --> 00:54:20,716
LEONARD:
Uh-oh.
895
00:54:21,958 --> 00:54:24,859
Oh, jeez.
I'm getting a bad feeling about this.
896
00:54:29,098 --> 00:54:32,932
- Yeah, I think that there was access.
- Really?
897
00:54:33,303 --> 00:54:36,670
- Is it starting to come back?
- Yeah, there was access. Oh, my God.
898
00:54:36,806 --> 00:54:40,572
- I don't like the way this is going.
- Oh, my God, I got...
899
00:54:40,710 --> 00:54:43,941
I think I got Sawyer in the bathroom,
I think.
900
00:54:44,080 --> 00:54:47,106
Because Kassie knows Diane Sawyer
and invited her somehow?
901
00:54:47,250 --> 00:54:49,616
WALLY:
Oh, my God.
902
00:54:51,854 --> 00:54:53,651
I switched it.
903
00:54:53,790 --> 00:54:58,284
L... Oh, that's... My God.
You switched? Really?
904
00:54:58,428 --> 00:55:01,158
I hijacked Kassie's pregnancy?
905
00:55:01,998 --> 00:55:05,490
Oh, that's ill-advised.
906
00:55:05,668 --> 00:55:08,660
How do I not remember that?
907
00:55:08,805 --> 00:55:12,536
Well, because you were horribly drunk,
you're a...
908
00:55:12,675 --> 00:55:14,302
You repress everything.
909
00:55:14,444 --> 00:55:17,004
You know, I've told you
about hungry dogs in the cellar.
910
00:55:17,146 --> 00:55:19,171
If you don't feed them,
you don't acknowledge them,
911
00:55:19,315 --> 00:55:22,375
at some point they're gonna get out
somehow and do something unsavory.
912
00:55:22,518 --> 00:55:25,783
- Exhibit A.
- My God, am I a horrible person?
913
00:55:25,922 --> 00:55:28,550
- No, no, no.
- Oh, Leonard, I gotta go tell her.
914
00:55:28,691 --> 00:55:32,525
Oh, no, no, no.
Telling Kassie? Oh, that's... Ay.
915
00:55:32,662 --> 00:55:35,153
Well, yes, but that's so challenging,
so delicate.
916
00:55:35,298 --> 00:55:36,765
It's the right thing to do, Leonard.
917
00:55:36,899 --> 00:55:39,299
Yeah, maybe,
but don't you wanna talk to a lawyer first?
918
00:55:39,435 --> 00:55:41,335
- There are...
- Huh? No, no. No lawyer.
919
00:55:41,471 --> 00:55:44,599
- I gotta go tell her.
- Yeah, okay, but before you go, though...
920
00:55:44,974 --> 00:55:49,240
- Okay.
- Um, if this is true, gee, what great news.
921
00:55:49,379 --> 00:55:53,577
- Congratulations, you're a father.
- That's not helpful.
922
00:55:55,218 --> 00:55:56,276
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
923
00:56:00,490 --> 00:56:01,684
Hi, Wally.
924
00:56:05,228 --> 00:56:08,095
Hey, buddy. What are you doing awake?
925
00:56:08,231 --> 00:56:09,721
Insomnia.
926
00:56:10,800 --> 00:56:13,064
- Where's your mom?
- In her bath.
927
00:56:13,202 --> 00:56:15,534
Mom, Wally's here!
928
00:56:15,672 --> 00:56:17,367
KASSIE:
Uh, okay.
929
00:56:17,507 --> 00:56:18,565
[VARIOUS SPEAKERS ON TV]
930
00:56:18,708 --> 00:56:20,039
You can use them any...
931
00:56:20,176 --> 00:56:22,269
- McKay...
...money back...
932
00:56:22,745 --> 00:56:25,043
...maxed out...
...or fun.
933
00:56:25,181 --> 00:56:26,409
...until we...
...brand-new...
934
00:56:26,549 --> 00:56:27,880
- Visit your loc...
...cheetahs...
935
00:56:28,017 --> 00:56:29,712
- Fight for...
- The cent...
936
00:56:29,852 --> 00:56:32,320
- Hey, what are you doing?
- Watching TV.
937
00:56:32,455 --> 00:56:33,786
No, you're not, actually,
938
00:56:33,923 --> 00:56:36,323
you're just incessantly switching
those channels.
939
00:56:36,459 --> 00:56:38,222
No, I'm watching all the shows at once.
940
00:56:38,361 --> 00:56:39,760
WALLY: Guess what.
- Three big cats.
941
00:56:39,896 --> 00:56:41,090
- Hey, listen.
- Hey.
942
00:56:41,230 --> 00:56:42,857
We're gonna have to
do this better, okay?
943
00:56:42,999 --> 00:56:45,900
Because we're gonna be
in each other's lives for a very long time.
944
00:56:46,035 --> 00:56:49,061
Why are we gonna be in each other's lives
for a long time?
945
00:56:49,939 --> 00:56:52,931
Because, um, you know, I'm, uh...
946
00:56:53,076 --> 00:56:55,101
I'm your... I'm friends with your mother.
947
00:56:55,678 --> 00:56:58,511
Well, that doesn't mean
you're friends with me.
948
00:56:58,648 --> 00:56:59,876
- So give me the clicker.
- No.
949
00:57:00,016 --> 00:57:01,074
- No.
- Yes.
950
00:57:01,217 --> 00:57:02,275
- No.
- Yes.
951
00:57:02,418 --> 00:57:03,476
- No.
- Yes.
952
00:57:03,619 --> 00:57:05,450
- No, Sebastian. No.
- Yes. Yes.
953
00:57:05,588 --> 00:57:06,987
KASSIE: Wally.
- Yes?
954
00:57:08,191 --> 00:57:11,422
- What are you doing?
- I need to talk to you.
955
00:57:12,028 --> 00:57:13,586
Okay.
956
00:57:15,498 --> 00:57:17,159
Outside.
957
00:57:17,967 --> 00:57:19,559
Outs?
958
00:57:20,236 --> 00:57:21,828
I'll be right outside.
959
00:57:22,772 --> 00:57:24,205
- That is quite...
- It's that easy.
960
00:57:25,842 --> 00:57:29,778
- All the way outside?
- I think it's better. Just... Almost there.
961
00:57:30,213 --> 00:57:31,703
Um...
962
00:57:32,148 --> 00:57:35,208
So, uh, listen, I don't know how to say this,
so I'm just...
963
00:57:35,351 --> 00:57:37,251
I'm gonna start, um...
964
00:57:37,820 --> 00:57:40,118
You're the most important person
in my life.
965
00:57:40,256 --> 00:57:41,780
- Yeah.
- Um...
966
00:57:43,126 --> 00:57:44,957
It's difficult.
967
00:57:45,895 --> 00:57:48,227
It's like the hardest thing
I've ever had to say to anyone,
968
00:57:48,364 --> 00:57:51,993
okay, because you know
that I would do anything for you, Kassie.
969
00:57:53,102 --> 00:57:56,230
We've known each other
for such a long time,
970
00:57:56,372 --> 00:57:58,499
so the last thing I wanna do
is lose you, okay,
971
00:57:58,641 --> 00:58:01,906
but just, some things have to be said,
you know,
972
00:58:02,044 --> 00:58:05,172
even if they're uncomfortable...
973
00:58:05,314 --> 00:58:07,805
Stop, Wally.
974
00:58:08,751 --> 00:58:10,309
I think I know what you're gonna say.
975
00:58:10,453 --> 00:58:13,251
- I don't think you know.
- Wally.
976
00:58:13,723 --> 00:58:15,850
Since I've been back...
977
00:58:15,992 --> 00:58:20,759
And we have known each other
for such a long time.
978
00:58:21,164 --> 00:58:23,530
Clearly, we missed each other.
979
00:58:23,666 --> 00:58:26,396
I would be lying if I said I didn't realize
980
00:58:26,536 --> 00:58:31,735
that there was a definite, you know,
energy between us.
981
00:58:32,308 --> 00:58:36,244
I mean, sometimes...
You know, sometimes I feel it too.
982
00:58:37,480 --> 00:58:39,072
- Energy?
- Yeah.
983
00:58:39,215 --> 00:58:42,810
I mean,
that's what you're trying to tell me.
984
00:58:43,419 --> 00:58:48,686
That you have feelings for me.
985
00:58:50,593 --> 00:58:52,151
Right?
986
00:58:52,562 --> 00:58:55,053
Not exactly, but...
987
00:59:00,336 --> 00:59:03,499
Oh, my... Oh, my God.
988
00:59:04,674 --> 00:59:06,198
What?
989
00:59:06,609 --> 00:59:08,873
I'm... You know what?
990
00:59:09,912 --> 00:59:15,145
L... No, no. I'm just really...
It's complicated, Wally. I'm like:
991
00:59:15,918 --> 00:59:18,478
Just work,
and I'm sort of in this Roland thing,
992
00:59:18,621 --> 00:59:19,713
so I'm not, you know...
993
00:59:19,856 --> 00:59:22,222
WALLY: Huh?
- L... I'm sorry. Ha, ha.
994
00:59:22,358 --> 00:59:23,689
- What?
- I don't... You know what?
995
00:59:23,826 --> 00:59:26,989
Let's just say good night.
Let's "good night" it.
996
00:59:27,129 --> 00:59:31,463
And, um, again, I'm sorry, and I just...
You get it.
997
00:59:31,601 --> 00:59:33,228
You get it.
998
00:59:33,369 --> 00:59:34,893
Ouch.
999
00:59:38,574 --> 00:59:40,132
Great.
1000
00:59:42,411 --> 00:59:46,040
- Sebastian, please open the door.
SEBASTIAN [ON INTERCOM]: No.
1001
00:59:46,182 --> 00:59:48,480
- Roland thing?
- Oh, such a... Not a good time.
1002
00:59:48,618 --> 00:59:49,812
Not a good time.
1003
00:59:50,253 --> 00:59:52,244
- Sebastian.
- What Roland thing?
1004
00:59:54,123 --> 00:59:56,421
We've just been spending
some time together.
1005
00:59:57,627 --> 01:00:00,187
Is it like dating?
1006
01:00:00,696 --> 01:00:03,597
- L... Yeah, I guess. I...
- Has he met Sebastian?
1007
01:00:03,733 --> 01:00:04,859
Shh.
1008
01:00:05,001 --> 01:00:06,764
- Does Sebastian know...?
- No.
1009
01:00:07,370 --> 01:00:10,703
I've set specific rules.
1010
01:00:10,840 --> 01:00:12,808
Sebastian just doesn't like
when I'm with anybody.
1011
01:00:12,942 --> 01:00:14,466
That's why he's doing this. Sebastian.
1012
01:00:14,610 --> 01:00:15,804
[DOOR BUZZES]
1013
01:00:15,945 --> 01:00:17,742
- Where did Roland take you?
- A reading.
1014
01:00:17,880 --> 01:00:19,780
- Like a book reading?
- Would you please?
1015
01:00:19,916 --> 01:00:22,043
- What was the reading about?
- It was about a kayak.
1016
01:00:22,184 --> 01:00:23,378
- A kayak?
- Sebastian!
1017
01:00:23,519 --> 01:00:25,680
- Sounds like a great date.
- Open this door right now.
1018
01:00:25,821 --> 01:00:27,812
SEBASTIAN:
Open it yourself.
1019
01:00:28,491 --> 01:00:32,222
- What?
- You both are driving me crazy.
1020
01:00:37,533 --> 01:00:39,228
She's mad.
1021
01:00:45,675 --> 01:00:48,166
She's got a boyfriend.
1022
01:00:49,278 --> 01:00:51,371
A few dates don't make a boyfriend.
1023
01:00:52,982 --> 01:00:54,472
I'm 6, by the way.
1024
01:00:55,584 --> 01:00:58,644
- What's that?
- You told the lady on the bus I was 5.
1025
01:00:58,788 --> 01:01:02,849
I'm not, I'm 6. My birthday's soon.
1026
01:01:06,329 --> 01:01:08,593
Are you still going to come to my party?
1027
01:01:13,970 --> 01:01:16,268
Yeah, Sebastian, I'm gonna be there.
1028
01:01:19,875 --> 01:01:22,105
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]
1029
01:01:22,244 --> 01:01:24,872
[PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
1030
01:01:25,014 --> 01:01:26,879
[CHILDREN YELLING
AND CHATTERING]
1031
01:01:27,783 --> 01:01:28,841
MAN 1:
Are you ready?
1032
01:01:28,985 --> 01:01:31,112
MAN 2: Don't worry, I got you.
MAN 1: Feels good, huh?
1033
01:01:31,253 --> 01:01:33,881
KASSIE: Yeah, so go get your
sneakers on and go climb that wall.
1034
01:01:34,023 --> 01:01:35,456
- It should be fun.
WALLY: Hey.
1035
01:01:35,591 --> 01:01:36,683
MAN 3:
Let's go, sweetheart.
1036
01:01:36,826 --> 01:01:38,487
- Hi.
- Hey.
1037
01:01:38,627 --> 01:01:39,685
- How are you?
- Good.
1038
01:01:41,397 --> 01:01:45,561
Um, can we talk about the other night?
Uh, I haven't been able to sleep.
1039
01:01:45,701 --> 01:01:47,032
The energy thing.
1040
01:01:47,169 --> 01:01:48,761
Wally, can we please just forget that?
1041
01:01:48,904 --> 01:01:52,897
I definitely think it's worth talking about
because it's certainly something that...
1042
01:01:53,042 --> 01:01:54,475
- Hi.
- Now, that's a party.
1043
01:01:54,610 --> 01:01:55,872
[ROLAND CHUCKLES]
1044
01:01:56,012 --> 01:01:57,775
Who says a small wall
can't be invigorating?
1045
01:01:57,913 --> 01:01:58,971
KASSIE:
I don't know.
1046
01:01:59,682 --> 01:02:01,547
- I was just...
- Wally, do you remember Roland?
1047
01:02:01,917 --> 01:02:04,249
- Baba ganoush.
- Baba ganoush?
1048
01:02:04,387 --> 01:02:06,582
You had baba ganoush
all over your shirt.
1049
01:02:06,722 --> 01:02:09,282
Kassie's party a few years back.
You were hysterical. Ha, ha.
1050
01:02:09,892 --> 01:02:12,417
Yeah. What a memory.
1051
01:02:12,561 --> 01:02:14,051
- Thank you.
- Hey, where's Sebastian?
1052
01:02:14,196 --> 01:02:16,994
- I wanna give him this gift.
- He's right over there.
1053
01:02:17,133 --> 01:02:19,499
- Put it on. Seriously.
- No.
1054
01:02:20,169 --> 01:02:22,296
- Let me take that for you.
- That's okay, I got this.
1055
01:02:22,438 --> 01:02:24,906
No, come on,
I'll put it with the rest of the other gifts.
1056
01:02:25,041 --> 01:02:26,633
- Okay, you got it now.
ROLAND: Great.
1057
01:02:27,376 --> 01:02:30,573
- All right, gifts ahoy.
- Roland's here.
1058
01:02:30,713 --> 01:02:32,340
- Yeah. So...
- And in charge of the gifts.
1059
01:02:32,481 --> 01:02:34,745
- And what have you got on today?
- What?
1060
01:02:34,884 --> 01:02:36,476
- It's a rock-climbing outfit.
- Is it?
1061
01:02:36,619 --> 01:02:38,883
Yeah, Roland got it for me
because it was...
1062
01:02:39,021 --> 01:02:40,750
Listen, come on, be nice.
1063
01:02:40,890 --> 01:02:43,586
Pretty aerodynamic.
Lot of wind up there?
1064
01:02:44,060 --> 01:02:46,119
- Can you...? Never mind.
ROLAND: Fantastic, okay.
1065
01:02:46,262 --> 01:02:48,492
- I don't wanna climb the wall.
- What?
1066
01:02:48,631 --> 01:02:53,091
- No, but I promise you it's gonna be fun.
- I don't think so.
1067
01:02:53,235 --> 01:02:55,760
Sebastian, the whole reason
we're having your party here
1068
01:02:55,905 --> 01:02:57,896
is to climb the wall.
1069
01:02:58,040 --> 01:03:00,270
We don't want the wall to go to waste,
now, do we?
1070
01:03:01,243 --> 01:03:02,574
You feeling it?
1071
01:03:02,711 --> 01:03:05,839
So where did Sebastian
really wanna throw his party?
1072
01:03:05,981 --> 01:03:07,608
A kill shelter.
1073
01:03:08,284 --> 01:03:09,342
A kill shelter?
1074
01:03:09,485 --> 01:03:12,921
It's like a last-stop dog shelter before they,
you know.
1075
01:03:13,055 --> 01:03:16,149
Anyway, and he thought
it would compel people to save dogs, but...
1076
01:03:16,292 --> 01:03:18,089
- Smart.
- But this is good for him, you know?
1077
01:03:18,227 --> 01:03:21,060
- Because it gets him active and athletic.
SEBASTIAN: It's too high! No!
1078
01:03:21,197 --> 01:03:22,892
WALLY: I get it.
- What is he doing?
1079
01:03:23,632 --> 01:03:26,692
SEBASTIAN: Get me down!
- Sebastian, that's too high.
1080
01:03:26,836 --> 01:03:27,962
- Mom!
- He's up too high.
1081
01:03:28,104 --> 01:03:30,299
Just let go of the wall, man,
the harness will hold you.
1082
01:03:30,439 --> 01:03:31,997
KASSIE:
Just do what he says and let go.
1083
01:03:32,141 --> 01:03:36,373
- What if it breaks?
- The most important thing is to have fun.
1084
01:03:36,745 --> 01:03:38,645
- Yes.
- I don't want to.
1085
01:03:38,781 --> 01:03:42,080
Sebastian, you're gonna be okay, pal.
Just count to three and let go.
1086
01:03:42,218 --> 01:03:43,583
SEBASTIAN:
I'm scared.
1087
01:03:45,121 --> 01:03:46,748
I got this.
1088
01:03:46,889 --> 01:03:48,914
I'm coming, buddy. All right.
1089
01:03:49,058 --> 01:03:52,550
TRAINER: It's not Everest, chief, relax.
ROLAND: I got it, guys.
1090
01:03:52,695 --> 01:03:54,219
- Yeah.
- Get away from me.
1091
01:03:54,363 --> 01:03:55,421
ROLAND:
I'm gonna get you.
1092
01:03:55,564 --> 01:03:56,861
- No.
- I'll take you down, okay?
1093
01:03:56,999 --> 01:03:58,728
SEBASTIAN: Stop.
ROLAND: I'm gonna help you.
1094
01:03:58,868 --> 01:04:02,065
- I got him.
- Let go of me, you big monkey.
1095
01:04:02,204 --> 01:04:03,728
Let me go.
1096
01:04:03,873 --> 01:04:04,931
[PEOPLE CLAPPING]
1097
01:04:05,074 --> 01:04:06,132
- Stop.
- Hold on.
1098
01:04:06,275 --> 01:04:10,302
I hate that stupid wall.
And this is the worst birthday party ever.
1099
01:04:11,413 --> 01:04:15,213
- Mommy, I don't wanna be here.
- Oh, baby, I'm sorry. Are you okay?
1100
01:04:15,718 --> 01:04:17,413
You're fine.
1101
01:04:17,553 --> 01:04:20,784
You're all right. You're okay. I'm sorry.
1102
01:04:23,392 --> 01:04:24,882
It's okay. All right, don't worry.
1103
01:04:25,027 --> 01:04:27,427
Come on, honey, let's go...
Let's go wash you up.
1104
01:04:32,935 --> 01:04:37,429
Boy, that was an unfortunate one for you,
but he'll be all right, you know?
1105
01:04:37,573 --> 01:04:39,063
Yeah.
1106
01:04:39,208 --> 01:04:40,835
Yeah.
1107
01:04:41,310 --> 01:04:43,301
Hey, I don't know you very well.
1108
01:04:43,445 --> 01:04:45,913
What do you say we get a drink
after this?
1109
01:04:47,183 --> 01:04:49,708
- Um...
- All right.
1110
01:04:53,856 --> 01:04:54,657
Oh, it's just the most beautiful place
on Earth.
1111
01:04:54,657 --> 01:04:56,955
Oh, it's just the most beautiful place
on Earth.
1112
01:04:57,092 --> 01:05:00,391
- Have you ever been to Michigan, Wally?
- I went to Detroit for a meeting.
1113
01:05:00,529 --> 01:05:02,554
Oh.
I'm talking about the upper peninsula.
1114
01:05:02,698 --> 01:05:04,632
I've got a little cabin there
on Neebish Island.
1115
01:05:04,767 --> 01:05:06,997
Been in the family for 30 years.
1116
01:05:07,136 --> 01:05:10,435
I'm thinking of taking Kassie there.
I know it's early, but I'm really feeling it.
1117
01:05:10,573 --> 01:05:13,007
I mean, what do you think?
You want another beer?
1118
01:05:13,375 --> 01:05:14,569
No, no, no, thank you.
1119
01:05:14,710 --> 01:05:17,304
- You sure?
- Yeah, and I do have to go.
1120
01:05:17,446 --> 01:05:21,610
Uh, you know, hey, listen,
I'm so happy, uh, that we did this.
1121
01:05:21,750 --> 01:05:23,274
The kid hates me, Wally.
1122
01:05:24,954 --> 01:05:29,755
No, no, no.
No, I don't think, uh, Sebastian hates you.
1123
01:05:29,892 --> 01:05:32,486
No, no, he does.
He's told me a couple times.
1124
01:05:32,828 --> 01:05:34,625
Oh, well, um...
1125
01:05:35,364 --> 01:05:38,595
It's just, oh, man, he's got some, uh...
1126
01:05:39,768 --> 01:05:41,963
- Rough edges?
- Yeah, that's it, yeah. I mean, he's...
1127
01:05:42,104 --> 01:05:45,938
He worries a lot, he questions everything.
He's really...
1128
01:05:46,075 --> 01:05:48,270
- Neurotic?
- Yes, that's the word.
1129
01:05:48,410 --> 01:05:50,207
So, what's the problem?
1130
01:05:51,447 --> 01:05:53,779
Well, I don't really relate to that.
1131
01:05:53,916 --> 01:05:55,247
Well...
1132
01:05:58,153 --> 01:06:01,884
Neurotic is simply an intense form
of introspection, okay?
1133
01:06:02,024 --> 01:06:03,855
So you're basically calling him
introspective,
1134
01:06:03,993 --> 01:06:05,961
and being introspective is good, okay?
1135
01:06:06,095 --> 01:06:09,553
It's walking around with an opinion,
with a point of view,
1136
01:06:09,698 --> 01:06:12,792
- with some sort of nice kind of direction.
- Yeah, yeah. You've got it too.
1137
01:06:12,935 --> 01:06:15,495
- What are you talking about?
- Yeah, those rough edges.
1138
01:06:15,638 --> 01:06:17,572
I mean, don't get me wrong,
it's beautiful.
1139
01:06:18,140 --> 01:06:21,075
Thanks. Hey, what's not beautiful to you?
You know?
1140
01:06:21,210 --> 01:06:25,874
See? You did it again.
That's it, you got that focus.
1141
01:06:26,015 --> 01:06:30,008
But that's how we're alike, Wally,
we're both determined.
1142
01:06:30,152 --> 01:06:34,179
Sebastian may be, uh,
resistant to me now, but I'll get through.
1143
01:06:34,323 --> 01:06:37,383
Life throws you curveballs,
that's for sure, right?
1144
01:06:37,526 --> 01:06:39,858
I mean, a few months ago,
I was planning on having children
1145
01:06:39,995 --> 01:06:42,225
with a woman
who I'm pretty sure I'll never see again.
1146
01:06:43,365 --> 01:06:44,832
A few months ago?
1147
01:06:44,967 --> 01:06:46,366
- Yep.
- That's it, huh?
1148
01:06:46,502 --> 01:06:49,938
And now I'm crazy about a woman
who paid me for my sperm.
1149
01:06:51,040 --> 01:06:52,701
How about that curveball?
1150
01:06:53,142 --> 01:06:54,575
Bam!
1151
01:06:55,244 --> 01:06:58,771
Sebastian's gonna get through this.
We're gonna lick this thing.
1152
01:06:58,914 --> 01:07:03,112
He doesn't need to have this dark cloud
hanging over his head.
1153
01:07:03,252 --> 01:07:04,879
What do you think,
you want another beer?
1154
01:07:05,020 --> 01:07:07,113
WALLY: Oh, the guy was just...
He just would not stop.
1155
01:07:07,256 --> 01:07:08,951
He just kept going
and talking and talking.
1156
01:07:09,091 --> 01:07:12,219
You know, he thinks that it's his kid.
He thinks that he's my best friend.
1157
01:07:12,361 --> 01:07:15,797
Wants me to give him advice on how
to be a better father to my son, you know?
1158
01:07:15,931 --> 01:07:17,728
It's just like a nightmare.
He's e-mailing me.
1159
01:07:17,866 --> 01:07:20,596
He's smiling at me all the time.
He's hitting me with the big teeth.
1160
01:07:20,736 --> 01:07:23,000
- Wants me to go fly-fishing with him.
- Yeah, and why...?
1161
01:07:23,138 --> 01:07:24,605
I don't understand. Why are we here?
1162
01:07:24,740 --> 01:07:27,709
Because I gotta exchange this frame.
Sebastian wants one from the new line.
1163
01:07:27,843 --> 01:07:30,971
- It's a sterling-silver 5-by-7.
- Oh, I see.
1164
01:07:31,113 --> 01:07:33,775
Well, that's so nice that
you're taking an interest in his hobbies,
1165
01:07:33,916 --> 01:07:36,714
but, um, listen,
I think the first order of business
1166
01:07:36,852 --> 01:07:38,820
is for you to take care of this thing
with Kassie.
1167
01:07:38,954 --> 01:07:40,615
Why are we waiting? Why the wait?
1168
01:07:40,756 --> 01:07:43,122
Please, I know that, all right?
I've been trying to do that.
1169
01:07:43,258 --> 01:07:45,954
- But everything is all turned around now.
- Turned around?
1170
01:07:46,762 --> 01:07:49,458
I'm turned around.
1171
01:07:49,598 --> 01:07:52,795
That night,
she said she thought we had energy.
1172
01:07:52,935 --> 01:07:55,995
Ooh. That's a new twist.
Never heard that before.
1173
01:07:56,138 --> 01:07:57,196
It was very weird though.
1174
01:07:57,339 --> 01:07:59,364
Her mouth is saying
she's spending time with Roland,
1175
01:07:59,508 --> 01:08:01,237
but her eyes are screaming, "Save me!"
1176
01:08:01,377 --> 01:08:04,005
Ah. So go with that. Go with the eyes.
1177
01:08:04,146 --> 01:08:08,014
And now I think
that I have feelings for her.
1178
01:08:09,051 --> 01:08:12,748
Really? You think so?
It's only been, uh, 13 years.
1179
01:08:13,222 --> 01:08:15,588
Please, I know you've been saying that
for a very long time.
1180
01:08:15,724 --> 01:08:18,192
- Now I'm finally saying it.
- Well, this is all good news.
1181
01:08:18,327 --> 01:08:20,659
That's just... You're in love
with the mother of your child.
1182
01:08:20,796 --> 01:08:22,286
Meanwhile, she's falling for Roland.
1183
01:08:22,431 --> 01:08:25,264
And I know that I could save all of this
by just telling her the truth,
1184
01:08:25,401 --> 01:08:28,268
but if I do that, I lose everything, right?
1185
01:08:29,671 --> 01:08:31,571
And if you don't?
1186
01:08:32,074 --> 01:08:35,202
Then I'll never be more
than Uncle Wally.
1187
01:08:36,412 --> 01:08:37,538
That's no good.
1188
01:08:37,679 --> 01:08:39,442
WALLY: Hi, excuse me.
- Yes?
1189
01:08:39,581 --> 01:08:42,345
This is old, this is new.
I'd like this instead of this.
1190
01:08:42,484 --> 01:08:43,542
- Yes?
- Okay.
1191
01:08:52,694 --> 01:08:54,662
WALLY:
Clearly, the assets in that fund were not...
1192
01:08:54,797 --> 01:08:55,855
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
1193
01:08:55,998 --> 01:08:57,158
Hang on.
1194
01:08:57,299 --> 01:08:59,733
I gotta take this. Sorry, hold on.
1195
01:09:00,369 --> 01:09:01,700
- Hello?
KASSIE [ON PHONE]: Wally?
1196
01:09:01,837 --> 01:09:03,998
WALLY: Hi.
- Oh, thank God you picked up. Okay.
1197
01:09:04,139 --> 01:09:09,042
- I'm in Michigan, and, um...
- Oh, at, uh, Camp Roland, huh?
1198
01:09:09,178 --> 01:09:12,841
Uh, yes, Wally, I'm with Roland.
He's got a cabin up here.
1199
01:09:12,981 --> 01:09:14,778
WALLY:
Been in the family for 30 years.
1200
01:09:14,917 --> 01:09:17,715
Yeah, yeah, it has been.
How do you know that?
1201
01:09:17,853 --> 01:09:21,311
- He told me.
- I didn't know that you guys, uh, spoke.
1202
01:09:21,457 --> 01:09:23,891
- Yeah, we're very, very close.
- Oh. Um...
1203
01:09:24,026 --> 01:09:25,926
[PHONE CLANGS AND BUZZES]
1204
01:09:26,061 --> 01:09:28,859
- What was that buzzing noise?
- I have to feed the phone.
1205
01:09:28,997 --> 01:09:32,558
- They don't have cell service up there?
- Well, apparently not on this island.
1206
01:09:32,701 --> 01:09:36,762
So, Wally, Sebastian wanted to go
and spend the weekend with Liam.
1207
01:09:36,905 --> 01:09:39,874
And since he's been having some trouble
making friends, I let him do it.
1208
01:09:40,008 --> 01:09:44,945
But then Liam's mom called me
and told me that Sebastian has lice.
1209
01:09:45,080 --> 01:09:48,049
- Lice?
- Calm down, Wally, it's lice.
1210
01:09:48,183 --> 01:09:49,616
I did not say leprosy, okay?
1211
01:09:49,751 --> 01:09:53,687
Would you please not Wally this
into a situation worse than it already is?
1212
01:09:53,822 --> 01:09:55,881
Hang on,
did you just use my name as a verb?
1213
01:09:56,024 --> 01:09:58,857
Yeah, yeah, I did. I do that sometimes.
1214
01:09:58,994 --> 01:10:01,394
Listen, Wally,
can you please, please help me out?
1215
01:10:01,530 --> 01:10:05,022
I trust you, and you're the only person
currently in New York City
1216
01:10:05,167 --> 01:10:06,566
that he can stand.
1217
01:10:06,702 --> 01:10:08,727
I've been beating myself up
about this entire thing.
1218
01:10:08,871 --> 01:10:11,135
I have a...
I'm out the first flight tomorrow.
1219
01:10:11,273 --> 01:10:13,207
There's no flights tonight, so I really...
1220
01:10:13,342 --> 01:10:15,071
- You know, I'm...
- Okay, all right. Enough.
1221
01:10:15,210 --> 01:10:17,371
I pick him up,
I take him to the emergency room?
1222
01:10:17,513 --> 01:10:19,538
You don't take him
to the emergency room. It's lice.
1223
01:10:19,681 --> 01:10:23,173
Okay, so your place
and just plant him in front of the TV?
1224
01:10:23,318 --> 01:10:25,513
- What do you want from me?
- Yeah, that would be great.
1225
01:10:25,654 --> 01:10:28,817
But there's a couple more things that
you're gonna have to do before that, okay?
1226
01:10:28,957 --> 01:10:31,619
Do you, um? Do you have a pen?
1227
01:10:40,936 --> 01:10:43,336
WALLY:
All right, don't move, I'll be right back.
1228
01:10:53,315 --> 01:10:55,806
KASSIE: After you've picked up
Sebastian, stop at Duane Reade.
1229
01:10:55,951 --> 01:10:57,282
There's one on our corner.
1230
01:10:57,419 --> 01:11:02,880
Buy a box of heavy-duty garbage bags,
shower caps, and the lice medicine.
1231
01:11:03,025 --> 01:11:04,993
The doctor already called in
a prescription.
1232
01:11:05,127 --> 01:11:06,560
Here we go, Aisle 10. Where is it?
1233
01:11:06,695 --> 01:11:09,391
There we go, there's the Tide,
where's the trash bags?
1234
01:11:09,531 --> 01:11:11,692
- Trash bags are right there.
- There we go.
1235
01:11:11,833 --> 01:11:14,233
Yellow drawstring. Boom.
1236
01:11:14,369 --> 01:11:15,768
KASSIE:
When you get to my place,
1237
01:11:16,371 --> 01:11:19,363
stuff all of his clothes in a trash bag
while he gets in the tub.
1238
01:11:19,508 --> 01:11:22,306
Here we go. All right, arms up, arms up.
There we go.
1239
01:11:22,444 --> 01:11:25,607
And now I'll get you to sit down over here.
We're gonna take off your pants.
1240
01:11:25,747 --> 01:11:30,514
Okay, real good, there we go.
And now let's get in the bathroom.
1241
01:11:32,387 --> 01:11:35,515
KASSIE: Make sure he keeps the stuff
on his head for only ten minutes.
1242
01:11:35,657 --> 01:11:39,616
And whatever you do,
don't get it in his eyes.
1243
01:11:39,761 --> 01:11:40,819
And while he's doing that,
1244
01:11:40,963 --> 01:11:43,625
you can strip both beds of pillowcases,
comforters and sheets.
1245
01:11:43,765 --> 01:11:46,962
All right, we just gotta get
these few little things in here, please.
1246
01:11:47,102 --> 01:11:51,095
And let me get this.
And I'll see you in a minute, okay?
1247
01:11:51,239 --> 01:11:54,003
KASSIE: And then bag up all of
the throw pillows and stuffed animals.
1248
01:11:54,142 --> 01:11:59,045
Make sure those bags are shut airtight
so those lice will suffocate.
1249
01:11:59,181 --> 01:12:01,877
And throw everything in the wash
at the hottest temperature.
1250
01:12:02,017 --> 01:12:03,484
WALLY:
Pass me the detergent, please.
1251
01:12:03,619 --> 01:12:06,179
WALLY [ON PHONE]: This is not
enough steps. Can we add some more?
1252
01:12:06,321 --> 01:12:08,448
Please just let me shave his head
and be done with it.
1253
01:12:08,590 --> 01:12:10,387
KASSIE: Wally.
WALLY: Okay, okay.
1254
01:12:10,525 --> 01:12:15,189
KASSIE: But whatever you do, Wally,
try not to make a big deal out of it.
1255
01:12:15,664 --> 01:12:18,428
And make sure to follow the instructions
and wash his hair.
1256
01:12:22,371 --> 01:12:25,898
Everything okay? You all right?
Are you doing okay?
1257
01:12:27,843 --> 01:12:31,404
KASSIE: Oh, and just one more thing,
and it's sort of the worst part.
1258
01:12:33,582 --> 01:12:35,846
There's this little comb.
1259
01:12:35,984 --> 01:12:39,385
WALLY:
Oh, my God, this cannot be happening.
1260
01:12:40,022 --> 01:12:41,080
- What?
- No, no, no.
1261
01:12:41,223 --> 01:12:45,182
Just keep looking that way, pal.
Nothing's going on. Everything's good.
1262
01:12:46,495 --> 01:12:48,156
[WALLY GROANS]
1263
01:12:49,064 --> 01:12:52,761
Are they everywhere?
Are they climbing all over my head?
1264
01:12:52,901 --> 01:12:54,266
Huh? No, they're fine.
1265
01:12:54,403 --> 01:12:57,702
They're absolute... You're fine.
Everything's okay.
1266
01:12:57,839 --> 01:12:58,965
Are you gonna throw up?
1267
01:12:59,107 --> 01:13:01,803
No, I'm not gonna throw up.
I'm busy killing lice.
1268
01:13:02,411 --> 01:13:06,211
SEBASTIAN: Did you find some?
- I think so.
1269
01:13:06,782 --> 01:13:08,511
I got them.
1270
01:13:13,689 --> 01:13:16,783
WALLY:
All right, hot out of the dryer.
1271
01:13:16,925 --> 01:13:20,793
I think we are now officially deliced.
1272
01:13:20,929 --> 01:13:23,762
Or "-loused," right? "Deloused"?
1273
01:13:23,899 --> 01:13:26,629
Whatever it is,
we're down to DEFCON 1.
1274
01:13:27,002 --> 01:13:30,904
Or is it 5?
Can never figure out which way that goes.
1275
01:13:31,039 --> 01:13:32,597
All right, good night.
1276
01:13:35,110 --> 01:13:37,601
Sweet dreams, okay?
1277
01:13:39,214 --> 01:13:41,239
This is your collection, right? Huh?
1278
01:13:45,387 --> 01:13:48,288
Why don't you wanna use any
of these frames?
1279
01:13:48,957 --> 01:13:51,653
Why does everyone ask me that?
1280
01:13:53,295 --> 01:13:56,230
Because, you know,
people like to put their own pictures
1281
01:13:56,364 --> 01:13:58,195
inside their frames.
1282
01:13:59,735 --> 01:14:01,930
But they already have pictures in them.
1283
01:14:02,070 --> 01:14:04,095
That's true,
but you don't know any of these people.
1284
01:14:04,239 --> 01:14:05,672
SEBASTIAN:
Sure I do.
1285
01:14:06,174 --> 01:14:11,168
See, like these people.
This is the Owen family.
1286
01:14:11,313 --> 01:14:15,613
That's Mr. And Mrs. Owen,
and those are their two kids.
1287
01:14:16,551 --> 01:14:18,883
He studies volcanoes,
1288
01:14:19,020 --> 01:14:25,949
and Mrs. Owen used to work for a place
that sells heart medicines for pets.
1289
01:14:26,661 --> 01:14:28,219
WALLY:
Mm-hm.
1290
01:14:28,663 --> 01:14:30,790
Well, that's funny,
because Mr. And Mrs. Owen
1291
01:14:30,932 --> 01:14:33,332
look like third-rate
stock-photography models to me.
1292
01:14:35,103 --> 01:14:36,627
That's my grandfather.
1293
01:14:40,108 --> 01:14:42,008
- Which one, right here?
- Yeah.
1294
01:14:42,144 --> 01:14:43,873
This guy?
1295
01:14:45,280 --> 01:14:47,248
He's my father's dad.
1296
01:14:48,016 --> 01:14:49,677
He owns a boat.
1297
01:14:49,818 --> 01:14:53,811
He takes it out every day
to go fishing for sharks.
1298
01:14:54,456 --> 01:14:56,617
And he knows a lot.
1299
01:14:56,992 --> 01:14:58,619
[YAWNS]
1300
01:14:58,960 --> 01:15:02,191
Did you know
that sharks don't have bones?
1301
01:15:02,330 --> 01:15:04,764
No, but I do now.
1302
01:15:06,701 --> 01:15:08,396
That's my Uncle Rick.
1303
01:15:09,070 --> 01:15:11,402
He's my father's younger brother.
1304
01:15:11,540 --> 01:15:14,270
- This guy here?
- Yeah.
1305
01:15:16,244 --> 01:15:19,372
He got me an iPod for my birthday.
1306
01:15:19,881 --> 01:15:25,649
But I think he stole it from somebody
because it already had music on it.
1307
01:15:29,724 --> 01:15:31,954
What's your dad's family like?
1308
01:15:32,861 --> 01:15:35,762
I don't know. I never met them.
1309
01:15:36,531 --> 01:15:37,862
Why not?
1310
01:15:39,034 --> 01:15:41,332
My father left when I was...
1311
01:15:41,503 --> 01:15:43,903
When I was pretty young.
1312
01:16:12,968 --> 01:16:15,163
You can keep it.
1313
01:16:27,916 --> 01:16:29,747
WALLY:
Sweet dreams.
1314
01:16:33,955 --> 01:16:35,320
[DOOR CLOSES]
1315
01:16:38,526 --> 01:16:40,721
See, now, I think you put
too much flour in that, right?
1316
01:16:40,862 --> 01:16:43,763
What you've got there is like a...
It's more like a paste, right?
1317
01:16:43,899 --> 01:16:45,764
I mean, we could spackle these walls
with that.
1318
01:16:45,901 --> 01:16:48,165
I think you need to put
a little bit more water in that.
1319
01:16:48,303 --> 01:16:49,361
- All right?
- Okay.
1320
01:16:49,504 --> 01:16:51,369
Let's think of something else
for the pancakes.
1321
01:16:51,506 --> 01:16:52,564
[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES]
1322
01:16:52,707 --> 01:16:54,004
What about, um, chocolate chips?
1323
01:16:54,142 --> 01:16:56,906
Your mom got any of those?
Or what about peanut butter?
1324
01:16:57,045 --> 01:16:58,410
SEBASTIAN: Maybe.
WALLY: Or cheese.
1325
01:16:58,546 --> 01:17:00,241
Let's go the other way with it, right?
1326
01:17:00,382 --> 01:17:02,680
Let's make it a little bit more
of a lunch pancake, right?
1327
01:17:02,817 --> 01:17:06,184
- Why not? You like cheese?
- Let's put lice in the batter.
1328
01:17:06,621 --> 01:17:10,216
What is so funny to you
about the concept of eating your lice?
1329
01:17:10,358 --> 01:17:13,156
- I don't know, it's just funny.
- Are you looking for texture?
1330
01:17:13,295 --> 01:17:16,264
If we burn them, you get a little crunch.
Keep your lice out of it.
1331
01:17:16,398 --> 01:17:18,298
- Hi, hey.
KASSIE: Hello.
1332
01:17:18,433 --> 01:17:22,130
- Mommy, I wanna show you the dead lice.
KASSIE: Come here, let me see that.
1333
01:17:22,537 --> 01:17:23,970
- Come here.
SEBASTIAN: You're home.
1334
01:17:24,105 --> 01:17:25,868
What do you have in that jar? Lice?
1335
01:17:26,007 --> 01:17:27,201
- Lice.
- Are you kidding me?
1336
01:17:27,342 --> 01:17:31,244
- Wally hunted them and killed them all.
- Let me see. I'm so sorry I wasn't here.
1337
01:17:31,379 --> 01:17:33,711
- Is it all out?
- Yeah.
1338
01:17:34,215 --> 01:17:35,273
- Oh, I love you.
- Me too.
1339
01:17:35,417 --> 01:17:37,942
I'm gonna take the dead lice
to watch TV.
1340
01:17:38,086 --> 01:17:39,246
That's a cute look.
1341
01:17:40,088 --> 01:17:42,147
Oh, this is, um...
1342
01:17:42,724 --> 01:17:45,420
I was starting to feel itchy,
so I used a little bit of the shampoo.
1343
01:17:45,827 --> 01:17:47,419
You don't have lice.
1344
01:17:48,163 --> 01:17:52,099
- Uh, I could. I could actually have lice.
- You don't have lice.
1345
01:17:52,233 --> 01:17:55,999
And I really thank you.
I appreciate you taking care of all this.
1346
01:17:56,137 --> 01:17:58,537
- Thanks for taking care of him.
- Yeah, you're welcome.
1347
01:17:58,673 --> 01:18:01,233
- How was that weekend?
- It was good.
1348
01:18:01,376 --> 01:18:05,506
It was good. It was really beautiful.
It's quiet, it's on the lake and...
1349
01:18:05,647 --> 01:18:08,081
You know,
his grandfather actually built the cabin
1350
01:18:08,216 --> 01:18:10,309
from logs that they milled
on the property, and so...
1351
01:18:10,452 --> 01:18:12,079
[SNORES]
1352
01:18:13,355 --> 01:18:17,416
And we're gonna go, I think,
in like two weeks, take Sebastian.
1353
01:18:19,327 --> 01:18:21,022
Really? That's...
1354
01:18:21,162 --> 01:18:23,255
- It's getting serious, huh?
- Yeah.
1355
01:18:24,532 --> 01:18:29,196
We're actually, um,
thinking about moving in together.
1356
01:18:31,940 --> 01:18:33,931
That's...
1357
01:18:34,075 --> 01:18:36,703
I mean, you know, Kassie, I...
1358
01:18:36,845 --> 01:18:39,279
- That's a mistake. I think that this guy...
- No, don't.
1359
01:18:39,414 --> 01:18:40,881
- Is a mistake.
1360
01:18:41,016 --> 01:18:42,916
Don't do this. Don't ruin this for me.
1361
01:18:43,051 --> 01:18:44,245
- Hang on.
- No.
1362
01:18:44,386 --> 01:18:45,910
Kassie.
1363
01:18:46,454 --> 01:18:49,321
Come on, look, he started the year
married to someone else.
1364
01:18:49,457 --> 01:18:51,857
Look, he's obviously going
through some kind of crap,
1365
01:18:51,993 --> 01:18:53,290
and maybe he doesn't realize it,
1366
01:18:53,428 --> 01:18:56,556
but it looks like he might be using you
and Sebastian to cushion the blow.
1367
01:18:56,698 --> 01:19:01,158
You know that I actually thought
for a brief second that you changed?
1368
01:19:01,302 --> 01:19:02,530
But you haven't.
1369
01:19:02,670 --> 01:19:06,436
I'm trying to move forward with my life,
and you are exactly the same.
1370
01:19:06,574 --> 01:19:08,974
The truth is, I'm actually happy.
1371
01:19:09,110 --> 01:19:11,908
- Are you?
- Yes.
1372
01:19:12,614 --> 01:19:17,415
Roland is a really good guy, all right?
He's supp... You know what?
1373
01:19:17,552 --> 01:19:19,850
Just because you've never taken a risk
in your entire life
1374
01:19:19,988 --> 01:19:21,649
doesn't mean
you have to rip apart mine.
1375
01:19:22,757 --> 01:19:25,783
At least I'm trying to let somebody in.
1376
01:19:25,927 --> 01:19:27,952
You should try it sometime.
1377
01:19:28,096 --> 01:19:33,398
I mean, unless you have something else
that you would like to say to me.
1378
01:19:35,003 --> 01:19:36,265
Wally?
1379
01:19:38,106 --> 01:19:40,040
Really? Got nothing for me, huh?
1380
01:19:40,175 --> 01:19:41,437
[DOOR OPENS]
1381
01:19:41,576 --> 01:19:45,444
- Nothing?
ROLAND: Ooh. Do I smell flapjacks?
1382
01:19:45,580 --> 01:19:49,448
Hey, Wally,
thanks for being on lice patrol, man.
1383
01:19:49,584 --> 01:19:52,451
You gotta try some of this beer
Grandma made.
1384
01:19:56,224 --> 01:19:58,556
[EELS' "ALL THE BEAUTIFUL
THINGS"PLAYING]
1385
01:21:01,623 --> 01:21:03,090
[DOORBELL RINGS]
1386
01:21:04,259 --> 01:21:05,726
[PANTING]
1387
01:21:07,028 --> 01:21:08,928
Sebastian, what's going on?
What happened?
1388
01:21:09,063 --> 01:21:12,590
I was at Ethan's birthday party
and I did what you told me to.
1389
01:21:13,101 --> 01:21:15,365
Aaron O'Connor was there.
1390
01:21:15,503 --> 01:21:18,028
I stood up to him and acted crazy.
1391
01:21:23,244 --> 01:21:25,178
Look at your face.
1392
01:21:25,313 --> 01:21:27,781
He punched me
and then threw me into a puddle
1393
01:21:27,916 --> 01:21:29,645
and then hit me again.
1394
01:21:29,784 --> 01:21:31,342
Come here.
1395
01:21:32,320 --> 01:21:35,812
- He didn't care that I was crazy.
- Shh. It's okay.
1396
01:21:35,957 --> 01:21:38,926
It didn't work, I tried.
1397
01:21:39,527 --> 01:21:41,620
Where was this? Where was the party?
1398
01:21:41,763 --> 01:21:44,732
- At the park.
- Which park?
1399
01:21:44,866 --> 01:21:48,802
- East End.
- East End Park?
1400
01:21:48,937 --> 01:21:51,462
That's like 20 blocks away from here.
1401
01:21:52,473 --> 01:21:54,441
Um, I'm gonna call your mom
to come get you.
1402
01:21:54,576 --> 01:21:57,409
No, Wally, you have to take me home.
1403
01:22:00,582 --> 01:22:03,016
Take me home, Wally.
1404
01:22:04,752 --> 01:22:07,277
Sebastian, why did you come here?
1405
01:22:08,723 --> 01:22:11,920
Because I thought you'd be proud of me.
1406
01:22:14,762 --> 01:22:15,563
[DOOR BUZZES]
1407
01:22:15,563 --> 01:22:16,587
[DOOR BUZZES]
1408
01:22:19,734 --> 01:22:22,828
Oh, my God, honey,
what happened to you?
1409
01:22:22,971 --> 01:22:26,168
- I got into a fight.
KASSIE: Sweetie, oh, my God.
1410
01:22:26,307 --> 01:22:28,502
- Why didn't Donna call me?
- It's actually my fault.
1411
01:22:28,643 --> 01:22:32,306
I told him to do something really stupid
a while back, and he listened to me.
1412
01:22:32,447 --> 01:22:35,382
But he's fine.
He came over to my place and...
1413
01:22:35,516 --> 01:22:37,711
KASSIE:
He came to you?
1414
01:22:38,419 --> 01:22:40,546
- Yeah, and...
ROLAND: I thought I heard the doorbell.
1415
01:22:40,688 --> 01:22:44,021
WALLY: Oh, what's going on?
- Oh, Roland's family is in town.
1416
01:22:44,158 --> 01:22:45,523
We're just having a little brunch.
1417
01:22:45,660 --> 01:22:47,389
- Hey, Wally.
- Who beat the kid?
1418
01:22:48,429 --> 01:22:50,761
KASSIE: Come on, let's go.
DEBBIE: Sweetie, come here.
1419
01:22:50,898 --> 01:22:52,866
Oh, my God, you're covered in dirt.
1420
01:22:53,001 --> 01:22:55,094
KASSIE: Come on, honey,
let's go get cleaned up.
1421
01:22:55,236 --> 01:22:57,227
DEBBIE:
We'll fix you up.
1422
01:22:58,973 --> 01:23:00,838
Let's go in the kitchen.
1423
01:23:00,975 --> 01:23:03,170
Somebody punched you?
1424
01:23:03,311 --> 01:23:04,801
- Hey, Wally.
- Yeah?
1425
01:23:04,946 --> 01:23:06,004
What happened?
1426
01:23:06,147 --> 01:23:08,411
- He got in a fight with another kid.
- Oh, that's awful.
1427
01:23:08,549 --> 01:23:10,779
- Yeah.
- You know, but it'll make him stronger.
1428
01:23:10,918 --> 01:23:14,945
I took a few lumps when I was a kid,
usually at the hands of my older brothers.
1429
01:23:15,089 --> 01:23:17,080
- Who are here. You gotta meet them.
- Okay.
1430
01:23:17,225 --> 01:23:19,284
Oh, wait, hold on.
1431
01:23:21,796 --> 01:23:23,525
Check it out.
1432
01:23:24,165 --> 01:23:25,632
Right?
1433
01:23:28,136 --> 01:23:30,934
Stick around. It's gonna get good.
1434
01:23:34,475 --> 01:23:36,340
I'm sorry, Roland.
1435
01:23:37,178 --> 01:23:38,805
[SCOFFS]
1436
01:23:39,647 --> 01:23:41,410
For what?
1437
01:23:41,549 --> 01:23:43,449
KASSIE: Doesn't feel that bad, huh?
- No.
1438
01:23:43,584 --> 01:23:44,812
WALLY: Hey.
KASSIE: Not really?
1439
01:23:44,952 --> 01:23:47,216
SEBASTIAN: I'm okay.
- I really do need to talk to you.
1440
01:23:47,822 --> 01:23:49,016
Act crazy, Wally?
1441
01:23:49,157 --> 01:23:51,955
Remind me to never to ask you for advice
when I'm being bullied.
1442
01:23:52,093 --> 01:23:55,028
What do you want from me, Debbie?
I'm an idiot. Kassie, this cannot wait.
1443
01:23:56,097 --> 01:23:57,621
- Debbie...?
- I got it, and I'm sorry.
1444
01:23:57,765 --> 01:23:58,823
I will be right back.
1445
01:23:58,966 --> 01:24:01,526
- It was just talk.
- Thanks.
1446
01:24:05,473 --> 01:24:07,737
What got into him?
1447
01:24:08,443 --> 01:24:10,604
You wanna try these peas?
1448
01:24:11,012 --> 01:24:13,378
All right, Wally, what is it?
1449
01:24:13,514 --> 01:24:15,038
I, uh...
1450
01:24:15,183 --> 01:24:18,584
There she is.
Hey, Kass, Wally, come on in.
1451
01:24:18,720 --> 01:24:20,711
Yeah, come on in, take a seat.
1452
01:24:20,855 --> 01:24:22,413
- Listen, hang on one second.
- I can't.
1453
01:24:22,557 --> 01:24:25,924
Kass, come on in. You too, Wally.
1454
01:24:26,060 --> 01:24:28,255
KASSIE: Okay.
- Come on, take a seat.
1455
01:24:28,396 --> 01:24:29,556
Everybody listen up.
1456
01:24:30,064 --> 01:24:31,122
Hush, hush.
1457
01:24:31,265 --> 01:24:32,459
[ROLAND CHUCKLES]
1458
01:24:33,167 --> 01:24:34,794
Got a little something to say. Everybody.
1459
01:24:34,936 --> 01:24:36,267
[GLASS CLINKING]
1460
01:24:36,404 --> 01:24:37,462
All right.
1461
01:24:37,605 --> 01:24:39,004
[ROLAND CLEARS THROAT]
1462
01:24:39,140 --> 01:24:41,199
A few months ago,
1463
01:24:41,709 --> 01:24:45,270
and I'm not gonna lie,
I was, uh, in a dark place.
1464
01:24:46,147 --> 01:24:49,082
- Um, I was in a world of pain.
WALLY [WHISPERING]: Kassie. Kassie.
1465
01:24:49,217 --> 01:24:50,844
I really have to talk to you.
1466
01:24:50,985 --> 01:24:52,714
ROLAND: My wife, ex-wife...
- Stop.
1467
01:24:52,854 --> 01:24:57,655
- Had left me for reasons
that I don't need to get into now.
1468
01:24:57,792 --> 01:24:59,919
WALLY:
Over here, right now.
1469
01:25:00,061 --> 01:25:02,325
- And then...
- It's gotta be now. Trust me this is real.
1470
01:25:02,463 --> 01:25:03,930
...one day...
- Cut it out.
1471
01:25:04,065 --> 01:25:05,157
- The heavens opened,
1472
01:25:06,467 --> 01:25:11,336
and the sweet voice of an angel
is on my phone machine.
1473
01:25:11,472 --> 01:25:12,769
[KASSIE CHUCKLES]
1474
01:25:13,174 --> 01:25:17,508
And I am happy to say
to you all that I love,
1475
01:25:17,979 --> 01:25:21,312
that my life is whole again.
1476
01:25:21,449 --> 01:25:23,679
Today Sebastian
scared the hell out of me.
1477
01:25:23,818 --> 01:25:25,979
Wally, take a seat,
I'm about to get to the good stuff.
1478
01:25:26,120 --> 01:25:28,918
Roland, I'm sorry, you're a really good guy.
I hate to do this to you.
1479
01:25:29,056 --> 01:25:31,149
ROLAND: Hate to do what?
- Throw this curveball.
1480
01:25:31,893 --> 01:25:35,954
When Sebastian needed someone today,
Kassie, he came to me.
1481
01:25:36,097 --> 01:25:40,500
You know, he needed me.
And I need him.
1482
01:25:41,068 --> 01:25:42,831
All right,
what are you talking about, Wally?
1483
01:25:42,970 --> 01:25:45,768
I'm talking about something
I haven't been able to say before, Kassie.
1484
01:25:45,907 --> 01:25:47,499
I, uh...
1485
01:25:47,809 --> 01:25:48,867
[SIGHS]
1486
01:25:49,010 --> 01:25:54,607
I hijacked your pregnancy.
1487
01:25:55,683 --> 01:25:57,742
I'm the seed guy.
1488
01:26:04,058 --> 01:26:05,389
What?
1489
01:26:05,526 --> 01:26:12,090
I replaced, uh, Roland's offering
with mine that night,
1490
01:26:12,233 --> 01:26:13,427
your party.
1491
01:26:13,568 --> 01:26:15,195
Um...
1492
01:26:15,336 --> 01:26:16,564
[MURMURING]
1493
01:26:17,638 --> 01:26:20,266
Sebastian's my son.
1494
01:26:21,108 --> 01:26:26,171
I know it was a reckless and careless
and terrible thing to do,
1495
01:26:26,314 --> 01:26:27,804
but, I mean, I panicked, you know.
1496
01:26:27,949 --> 01:26:30,474
I'm not like you, you know.
1497
01:26:30,618 --> 01:26:33,644
You're not afraid of anything.
I'm afraid of everything.
1498
01:26:33,788 --> 01:26:35,653
I can't even take risks, you know,
you said it.
1499
01:26:35,790 --> 01:26:38,350
But nothing scares you, Kassie,
and I love that about you.
1500
01:26:39,961 --> 01:26:42,759
I mean, you're gonna hate me
the rest of your life,
1501
01:26:42,897 --> 01:26:45,730
and you're never gonna forgive me,
and I don't expect you to forgive me.
1502
01:26:45,867 --> 01:26:49,394
It just... It breaks my heart, it kills me,
1503
01:26:49,537 --> 01:26:52,973
because he's changed me.
1504
01:26:53,307 --> 01:26:56,708
You've changed me, and, um...
1505
01:27:00,014 --> 01:27:01,606
...I love you.
1506
01:27:09,690 --> 01:27:13,148
I couldn't say that before,
but I'm saying it right now.
1507
01:27:18,799 --> 01:27:21,461
And I'm also saying I'm sorry.
1508
01:27:21,602 --> 01:27:23,900
I'm really sorry.
1509
01:27:30,545 --> 01:27:32,479
DEBBIE:
Good we got that dirt off.
1510
01:27:36,417 --> 01:27:38,351
Don't ever speak to us again.
1511
01:27:46,027 --> 01:27:47,426
What did I miss?
1512
01:27:47,562 --> 01:27:48,995
[DOOR CLOSES]
1513
01:27:55,703 --> 01:27:58,399
WALLY:
Sorry about your proposal, Roland.
1514
01:27:58,539 --> 01:28:00,473
His what?
1515
01:28:02,009 --> 01:28:04,034
Oh, my God.
1516
01:28:15,156 --> 01:28:17,249
I am proud of you.
1517
01:28:33,674 --> 01:28:34,732
[DOORBELL RINGING]
1518
01:28:57,298 --> 01:29:01,496
- Wally, it's 4 a.m.
WALLY: I did it.
1519
01:29:01,636 --> 01:29:03,695
I did the right thing, Leonard.
1520
01:29:04,171 --> 01:29:07,299
- Come on in.
- I faced my fear, I told her.
1521
01:29:07,441 --> 01:29:11,002
That's good, Wally. That's real good.
1522
01:29:11,145 --> 01:29:14,979
But I lost her. And Sebastian.
1523
01:29:16,884 --> 01:29:19,250
You did the right thing.
I'm proud of you, Wally.
1524
01:29:20,021 --> 01:29:22,683
- It sucks.
- But it'll get better.
1525
01:29:22,823 --> 01:29:27,226
You know,
I'm drinking booze from a deli.
1526
01:29:30,164 --> 01:29:32,359
You should go home, Wally.
1527
01:29:35,002 --> 01:29:37,266
They are my home, Leonard.
1528
01:29:37,405 --> 01:29:40,101
[EELS' "NUMBERED DAYS"PLAYING]
1529
01:30:58,119 --> 01:30:59,984
[HORNS HONKING]
1530
01:31:21,709 --> 01:31:26,169
So I've thought about it, and, uh,
1531
01:31:26,313 --> 01:31:30,511
you can't just disappear
from Sebastian's life.
1532
01:31:30,651 --> 01:31:32,414
So...
1533
01:31:32,553 --> 01:31:33,815
You know, he's your son.
1534
01:31:36,223 --> 01:31:39,886
And of course you can see him.
1535
01:31:40,027 --> 01:31:42,222
But it's gonna be on my terms.
1536
01:31:46,433 --> 01:31:48,196
How's he doing?
1537
01:31:49,570 --> 01:31:50,730
He misses you.
1538
01:31:51,338 --> 01:31:54,569
- I miss him.
- A lot.
1539
01:31:54,708 --> 01:31:57,905
Is he...?
How's he getting along with Roland, okay?
1540
01:31:58,612 --> 01:32:00,204
Yeah.
1541
01:32:01,515 --> 01:32:02,982
I, uh...
1542
01:32:03,851 --> 01:32:06,046
I couldn't go through with that.
1543
01:32:09,156 --> 01:32:11,590
- What happened? What do you mean?
- I don't know.
1544
01:32:12,493 --> 01:32:14,256
[CHUCKLES]
1545
01:32:14,662 --> 01:32:16,721
He's affectionate.
1546
01:32:17,431 --> 01:32:19,399
Likes me to try new things.
1547
01:32:20,234 --> 01:32:22,828
He doesn't turn into a psycho
when he drinks.
1548
01:32:22,970 --> 01:32:26,269
He doesn't moan when he eats.
1549
01:32:29,210 --> 01:32:31,974
I turned him down because he's not you.
1550
01:32:49,263 --> 01:32:50,491
Will you marry me?
1551
01:32:52,666 --> 01:32:54,634
Probably.
1552
01:33:17,625 --> 01:33:19,388
WALLY:
Look at us.
1553
01:33:20,694 --> 01:33:22,355
Running around,
1554
01:33:22,496 --> 01:33:26,523
always rushed, always late.
1555
01:33:27,301 --> 01:33:30,031
Guess that's why they call it
the human race.
1556
01:33:32,206 --> 01:33:38,167
But sometimes it slows down just enough
for all the pieces to fall into place.
1557
01:33:40,581 --> 01:33:43,175
Fate works its magic.
1558
01:33:45,619 --> 01:33:47,553
And you're connected.
1559
01:33:49,056 --> 01:33:51,456
KASSIE: Oh. Hi.
WALLY: You smell that?
1560
01:33:51,592 --> 01:33:53,958
- What is that?
- That's charcoal, lighter fluid,
1561
01:33:54,094 --> 01:33:55,322
and my burnt arm hairs.
1562
01:33:55,462 --> 01:33:57,123
- Is that working for you at all?
- Oh.
1563
01:33:58,832 --> 01:34:00,857
Shame there are all these children
around.
1564
01:34:01,001 --> 01:34:02,059
I don't mind an audience.
1565
01:34:02,202 --> 01:34:03,726
- You don't?
- No, they'll seem like my team.
1566
01:34:03,871 --> 01:34:07,773
Oh, God, no. Honey, here, ice cream.
Take this out there, but be careful.
1567
01:34:07,908 --> 01:34:10,968
One of these children has a milk allergy,
and I have no clue which one it is.
1568
01:34:11,111 --> 01:34:12,669
It might be the little blond one there.
1569
01:34:12,813 --> 01:34:14,508
- Just go with a sorbet or something?
- No.
1570
01:34:14,648 --> 01:34:16,343
- You sure?
- No, no.
1571
01:34:24,158 --> 01:34:28,891
[ALL SINGING
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU"]
1572
01:34:47,915 --> 01:34:49,382
KID: Yeah, Sebastian!
KASSIE: Whoo!
1573
01:34:49,516 --> 01:34:51,711
KIDS:
Yeah, Sebastian!
1574
01:34:52,386 --> 01:34:54,115
LEONARD:
Yeah, yeah.
1575
01:34:54,254 --> 01:34:56,381
WALLY: Nice.
- How about that?
1576
01:34:56,523 --> 01:35:01,722
Now, this year, Sebastian has decided
to dedicate his birthday to Doug.
1577
01:35:01,862 --> 01:35:02,920
And Doug is a...
1578
01:35:03,063 --> 01:35:08,000
He's just a wonderful, uh, playful,
three-legged dog,
1579
01:35:08,135 --> 01:35:11,969
and, um, he's in need of a home, so...
1580
01:35:12,873 --> 01:35:14,033
And?
1581
01:35:15,642 --> 01:35:19,100
And, um, well, Doug is, uh...
1582
01:35:19,246 --> 01:35:22,773
He's next in line at the kill shelter
to be put down.
1583
01:35:22,916 --> 01:35:25,441
Oh, that would be a horrible way to go.
1584
01:35:25,853 --> 01:35:28,913
- But not dead yet. Very much alive.
- That's so good. Positive thinking.
1585
01:35:29,056 --> 01:35:30,318
- Happy puppy.
- And, yeah.
1586
01:35:30,457 --> 01:35:33,426
Let's go ahead and blow out the candles.
Get some of that cake in our face.
1587
01:35:33,560 --> 01:35:37,121
I'm not blowing out anything
until someone takes Doug.
1588
01:35:38,432 --> 01:35:40,195
WOMAN:
Okay.
1589
01:35:40,334 --> 01:35:42,029
Well, I'll take him.
1590
01:35:42,169 --> 01:35:43,761
- Debbie Epstein.
- Thank you.
1591
01:35:43,904 --> 01:35:44,962
Debbie Epstein.
1592
01:35:45,439 --> 01:35:48,636
I can handle him.
He's only got three legs. That's...
1593
01:35:48,776 --> 01:35:50,300
MAN:
All right.
1594
01:35:50,844 --> 01:35:54,905
- Surprising.
- Okay, make a wish, baby. Come on.
1595
01:35:55,582 --> 01:35:56,981
WALLY: Harder.
KASSIE: There you go.
1596
01:35:57,117 --> 01:35:58,345
Really well done. One more.
1597
01:35:58,485 --> 01:35:59,884
LEONARD: Here I come.
KASSIE: Yes.
1598
01:36:00,020 --> 01:36:01,078
[ALL CHEERING]
1599
01:36:01,221 --> 01:36:03,416
KID 1: Happy birthday.
KID 2: Happy birthday, Sebastian.
1600
01:36:03,557 --> 01:36:05,320
KASSIE:
I love you, baby, sweet cheeks.
1601
01:36:05,459 --> 01:36:08,986
WALLY: Every once in a while,
amid all the randomness,
1602
01:36:09,563 --> 01:36:14,057
something unexpected happens,
and it pushes us all forward.
1603
01:36:14,401 --> 01:36:18,895
And the truth is,
what I'm starting to think,
1604
01:36:19,039 --> 01:36:21,667
what I'm starting to feel,
1605
01:36:23,877 --> 01:36:27,472
is that maybe the human race
1606
01:36:28,682 --> 01:36:31,515
isn't a race at all.
1607
01:36:37,591 --> 01:36:40,116
[BIBIO'S "LO VERS' CARVINGS"
PLAYING]128918
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