Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:30,824
-Morning, Coach. -Morning, Coach.
2
00:00:30,906 --> 00:00:32,066
You wanna grab some breakfast?
3
00:00:32,156 --> 00:00:34,366
Nah, I just had one piece of cereal and I'm pretty stuffed.
4
00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:35,791
Could go for coffee though.
5
00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:37,286
Yeah.
6
00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:40,083
You know what today feels like?
7
00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:42,835
-First day of school. -First day of school. That's right.
8
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:44,752
That's close.
9
00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:48,838
-What about you, Coach? How you feeling? -A little nervous.
10
00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:51,394
Well, heck, yeah. No such thing as "last-day jitters."
11
00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:55,314
Gotta look right, Coach.
12
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,559
Yeah. I'm gonna get that someday.
13
00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:00,558
So blues
14
00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:02,734
-I can tell you -Check out my man here.
15
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,437
So blues, I can tell you
16
00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:19,578
A girl's not gettin' by me.
17
00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:27,125
Sometimes the best way to stick it to the man is go right between his legs, huh?
18
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:28,962
-We gotta go, Coach. -Yeah.
19
00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:38,893
Knock-a-doodle-do.
20
00:01:39,892 --> 00:01:42,102
-Good morning, Coach Lasso. -Hey, look at us.
21
00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:44,146
Couple of worm-addicted early birds, am I right?
22
00:01:44,980 --> 00:01:47,400
Well, I'm glad I caught ya. I brought you a little something.
23
00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:49,232
Yeah. Cookies.
24
00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:51,608
Or as y'all call 'em here, biscuits, right?
25
00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:55,445
Though, I do not recommend you smother these in gravy.
26
00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:56,832
Ted, I don't really--
27
00:01:56,909 --> 00:01:59,119
Come on now. Take a lookie there.
28
00:01:59,203 --> 00:02:01,083
-Those do look good. -Right?
29
00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:02,253
Go ahead, take a nibble.
30
00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:05,131
That's it. Away you go.
31
00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:09,248
Fuck me.
32
00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:11,592
Where did you get these?
33
00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:12,973
I'm glad you like 'em.
34
00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:15,050
You know what? I'll start bringing these to ya every morning.
35
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,345
Call it "Biscuits with the Boss."
36
00:02:16,428 --> 00:02:18,428
That really isn't necessary.
37
00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:21,234
Okay, well, mark this down as the first time we disagree then.
38
00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:23,808
Actually, no, second time. Tea is horrible.
39
00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:26,864
Absolute garbage water. I don't know why y'all do that.
40
00:02:26,939 --> 00:02:28,979
Anyhoo, you know, we can't really be good partners
41
00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:30,936
-unless we get to know each other, right? -Ted--
42
00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:32,856
We're gonna start simple. Real easy, real easy one.
43
00:02:32,945 --> 00:02:34,905
We're gonna do first concert, best concert.
44
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,068
You go ahead and go first. Go. Right off the bat. Come on.
45
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:40,117
The Spice Girls. And... the Spice Girls.
46
00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:43,502
Same answer for both? I love that. My turn. First concert.
47
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:46,420
I mean, come on. It was "The Gambler" himself, Mr. Kenny Rogers.
48
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,840
Okay, I'm sorry--
49
00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:49,919
Ted--
50
00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:54,258
Coach Lasso.
51
00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:59,215
Stop. Ted, I'm sorry.
52
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:03,734
"Biscuits with the Boss" is not something that I have time for this morning.
53
00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,559
Or ever.
54
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,936
-I hear ya, boss. Loud and clear. -There we go.
55
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,192
Okay.
56
00:03:10,274 --> 00:03:12,114
You're gonna show up tomorrow with biscuits, aren't you?
57
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,282
Come on now. I would not bet on that.
58
00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:17,163
I mean, unless you wanna win a buttload of money.
59
00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:19,031
High five, tree.
60
00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:56,824
Remember what you said to me our first day coaching at Wichita State?
61
00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,244
Lose the ponytail?
62
00:03:58,322 --> 00:04:00,322
Relax. They're just kids.
63
00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:05,703
Well, these fellas sure as heck ain't kids.
64
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:09,287
Hey, look at Isaac. He looks like a Rodin sculpture in cleats.
65
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:11,792
Boots.
66
00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:13,167
They call cleats "boots."
67
00:04:14,213 --> 00:04:16,303
I thought you said that the trunk of a car was a boot.
68
00:04:16,380 --> 00:04:17,630
Also a boot.
69
00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:19,926
Hold on now. If I were to get fired from my job
70
00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,850
where I'm puttin' cleats in the trunk of my car--
71
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:24,058
You got the boot from puttin' boots in the boot.
72
00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:25,556
I love that.
73
00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:30,064
All right, gentlemen. Let's go ahead and do a little seven on seven.
74
00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:32,305
We're gonna call this drill "The Exorcist"
75
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:34,477
'cause it's all about controlling possession.
76
00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:36,744
All right, let's go!
77
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:43,696
Fuck!
78
00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:53,634
Someone get some flowers, 'cause this spot here is where Sam died.
79
00:04:55,838 --> 00:04:57,298
It's very sad.
80
00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,551
Oi. Walk away, you little prick.
81
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,683
All right, granddad. Keep your wig on.
82
00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:05,102
-Thanks, Roy. -Yeah, you're good.
83
00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:06,270
Hey, Sam, come here a sec.
84
00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:09,767
Coach, I'm sorry.
85
00:05:09,852 --> 00:05:11,852
You know what the happiest animal on earth is?
86
00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:14,688
It's a goldfish.
87
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:16,023
You know why?
88
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:19,187
-No. -Got a ten-second memory.
89
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,450
Be a goldfish, Sam. Yeah?
90
00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:29,829
Yeah, you got it. Go ahead.
91
00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:35,206
-Hey, Nate. -Who, me?
92
00:05:35,294 --> 00:05:37,004
Yeah. Until we get another Nate here,
93
00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:39,457
I just need you to assume you're my default Nate, okay?
94
00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,838
Come on, question for ya. What's the buzz on Sam here?
95
00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:43,175
Seems a little down in the dumps.
96
00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:47,640
Yeah, he's been underachieving since he got here from Nigeria, so...
97
00:05:47,723 --> 00:05:50,483
Yeah, well, first time away from home is never easy.
98
00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:52,939
We're gonna have to do something to Ni-cheer-ia him up, man.
99
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:58,029
You still laughing at stuff you don't think is funny, huh?
100
00:05:58,108 --> 00:06:00,108
I'm not always sure what's a joke and what isn't.
101
00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:02,034
Yeah, it's tough to tell these days, isn't it?
102
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:03,952
Go, Lasso! Go, Lasso, go!
103
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:08,081
Go, Lasso! Go, Lasso, go! Go, Lasso! Go, Lasso, go!
104
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:09,912
Higgins.
105
00:06:09,995 --> 00:06:12,115
Ted Lasso was in my office.
106
00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:14,956
"What's the first concert you ever saw?"
107
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:17,962
-Boy George. -Not you, you garden gnome.
108
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,545
He wants us to get together every morning
109
00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:21,380
to get to know me and hear what I've got to say.
110
00:06:21,465 --> 00:06:22,505
The nerve!
111
00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:25,261
I mean, the man's just relentless and nice.
112
00:06:25,344 --> 00:06:27,554
Everywhere he's been, his players seem to love him.
113
00:06:27,638 --> 00:06:29,638
It's the one thing that could just muck this up.
114
00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:31,182
Hello, boys.
115
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:32,892
Up top.
116
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,730
-Hello, Miss Welton. -Hello, Miss Welton.
117
00:06:39,775 --> 00:06:43,985
Higgins, do you know which of the players has the most sway in the locker room?
118
00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:46,030
No.
119
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:50,994
So helpful. Then solve me this different mystery.
120
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:53,118
Find out where Lasso got those biscuits.
121
00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:56,384
Watch out, biscuits! Higgins is on the case.
122
00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:04,721
All right, fellas. Excuse me.
123
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:05,880
Listen up!
124
00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:08,852
Thank you, Coach.
125
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:11,219
Now, we got Crystal Palace coming here on Saturday.
126
00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:12,466
Anything we need to know, Coach?
127
00:07:12,558 --> 00:07:15,478
-Lot of speed on the outside. -Okay. Anything else?
128
00:07:15,561 --> 00:07:17,061
Lot of speed.
129
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:18,355
Okay, you heard the man.
130
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,688
Y'all whipped 'em up pretty good earlier this year,
131
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,654
so me and Coach ain't gonna mess with the game plan.
132
00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,235
But...
133
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,120
we would like to start fiddling with the way we do things in the locker room.
134
00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:30,238
And if the Internet has taught us anything,
135
00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:34,075
it's that sometimes it's easier to speak our minds anonymously.
136
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:37,462
Right? So I asked Nate here to make us a good old-fashioned suggestion box.
137
00:07:37,541 --> 00:07:39,131
Hey, look at that.
138
00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:42,169
Yeah, did it with my niece. She loves crafts, so--
139
00:07:42,254 --> 00:07:44,264
Yeah. I love glimpses into your personal life.
140
00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:45,339
This is lovely.
141
00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:47,804
So, if anything's got y'all hot and bothered,
142
00:07:47,885 --> 00:07:49,295
just go ahead and drop us a note.
143
00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:52,885
You could have issue with the color of the towels
144
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,183
or, heck, the food in the vending machine.
145
00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:56,267
Sound good?
146
00:07:58,353 --> 00:08:00,773
Okay, great. See y'all tomorrow.
147
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:04,648
Oi. We're middle of the table, we've lost three of four,
148
00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:07,985
and you wanna know if the snacks in the locker room are tasty enough?
149
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:09,281
Are they?
150
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:10,990
Jesus Christ.
151
00:08:13,285 --> 00:08:14,285
They are not.
152
00:08:30,886 --> 00:08:32,636
That's a long time to wait, Ted.
153
00:08:33,889 --> 00:08:35,809
Well, I respect you didn't hurry.
154
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:38,390
So, how was your first official day?
155
00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:39,477
I'm not entirely sure
156
00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:42,061
what y'all's smallest unit of measurement is over here,
157
00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:44,357
but that's about how much headway I made.
158
00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:46,531
And yet, you seem undeterred.
159
00:08:50,781 --> 00:08:52,071
Solid entrance.
160
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,751
What would you rather be, a lion or a panda?
161
00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:58,118
I don't have time for this.
162
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,120
Okay.
163
00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:01,707
-Ted? -Gotta go panda.
164
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:06,512
Are you mad? Pandas are fat and lazy and have piss-stained fur.
165
00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:10,298
Lions are powerful and majestic and rule the jungle.
166
00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:12,554
Try telling that to an elephant. Can I be an elephant?
167
00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:13,676
Lion or panda.
168
00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:14,932
-Panda. -Lion!
169
00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:17,183
-What's black and white and red all over? -I don't know. What?
170
00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:21,186
A panda that gets anywhere near a fucking lion. The answer is lion.
171
00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:23,806
All right.
172
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,277
That Rebecca is an intimidating, very tall woman.
173
00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:29,148
I mean, the minute she locked eyes with me, I started sweating.
174
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:32,656
Oh, no. She got some fences, all right, but you just gotta hop over 'em.
175
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:33,739
Hi, babe.
176
00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:37,868
Here. Keys.
177
00:09:37,953 --> 00:09:40,583
Hey, Jamie, what would you rather be? A lion or a panda?
178
00:09:41,373 --> 00:09:43,043
Coach, I'm me.
179
00:09:43,125 --> 00:09:44,535
Why would I wanna be anything else?
180
00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:47,876
I'm not sure you realize how psychologically healthy that actually is.
181
00:09:49,715 --> 00:09:50,715
Cheers.
182
00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:52,835
Night Court.
183
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,176
Wow.
184
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:55,891
-He's a lion. -Definitely lion.
185
00:09:55,971 --> 00:09:58,641
You know pandas eat their weight in bamboo? My little boy told me that.
186
00:09:58,724 --> 00:10:00,274
-No! -What are you talking about?
187
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:01,810
Pandas are capable of it.
188
00:10:01,894 --> 00:10:03,854
I don't know how often they actually do that.
189
00:10:05,564 --> 00:10:07,694
Sam's down in every stat since Nigeria.
190
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,574
Maybe the Premiership's too much for him.
191
00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:11,991
No, he just needs to get a little more comfy here, that's all.
192
00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:15,200
-He turns 20 on Saturday. -There we go. A birthday.
193
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,622
We'll do something special for him.
194
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,950
Nudge that ship in the right direction, yeah?
195
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:20,036
Hey.
196
00:10:24,583 --> 00:10:25,793
Let's see what we got here.
197
00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:26,876
"Wanker."
198
00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:30,879
Let's see what else we got. "Piss off, wanker."
199
00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:34,718
"I hope you choke on a Big Mac."
200
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,301
-Good thing these are anonymous. -No, Roy signed that one.
201
00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:38,387
-Roy. -Here's a good one.
202
00:10:38,472 --> 00:10:41,392
"Shower pressure is rubbish." Make a note of that.
203
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:45,101
"Wanker." Yep.
204
00:10:45,771 --> 00:10:47,981
I'm not gonna say that word out loud.
205
00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:49,937
Another "wanker."
206
00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:52,945
You don't wanna let them call you a wanker, Ted. It's bad.
207
00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:54,362
What's a wanker?
208
00:10:56,365 --> 00:10:58,445
I'm a visual learner, so that's very helpful. Thank you.
209
00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:00,294
My pleasure.
210
00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:02,825
Okay, I got one.
211
00:11:03,539 --> 00:11:06,829
What if I joined forces with a swashbuckling cat
212
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:10,207
to play tiny guitars for women of the night
213
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:12,705
as we read Alex Haley's most seminal work?
214
00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:14,468
You'd be in cahoots with Puss in Boots,
215
00:11:14,550 --> 00:11:16,840
playing lutes for prostitutes, reading Roots.
216
00:11:16,927 --> 00:11:19,347
No, The Autobiography of Malcolm X. I gotcha.
217
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:20,599
All right.
218
00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:23,391
Here we go. Hey, hold my beer.
219
00:11:23,475 --> 00:11:26,645
All right, see what you got, young lady. Come on. What you got? What you got?
220
00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:28,225
Are you kidding me?
221
00:11:29,481 --> 00:11:30,321
You see that?
222
00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:32,029
She spun you around like the Tasmanian Devil.
223
00:11:32,109 --> 00:11:34,649
Yeah, she did. Except without all that annoying...
224
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,115
Wrong again.
225
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:46,711
Why is this so hard for you, Higgins?
226
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,420
What time is it?
227
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,750
It's "Biscuits with the Boss" time!
228
00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:53,420
And Higgins! Hey.
229
00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:55,054
Three's a crowd.
230
00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:57,682
Hey, that's a crowd I don't mind being smack-dab in the middle of, buddy.
231
00:11:58,719 --> 00:12:01,009
Hey, boss. Check this out. Pow.
232
00:12:01,096 --> 00:12:02,716
Let's tie up some loose ends from yesterday.
233
00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:04,516
First concert, Kenny Rogers, right?
234
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,730
Best concert, we got Beastie Boys at HORDE Fest, 1995.
235
00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:09,101
You're gonna love this story.
236
00:12:09,188 --> 00:12:11,018
Actually, did y'all get the O.J. trial over here?
237
00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:14,436
Ted, please. I can't just have you waltzing in here whenever you wish.
238
00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:16,986
What if I soft-shoe in, huh? Little something like that.
239
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,530
Or I can moonwalk in.
240
00:12:18,614 --> 00:12:21,284
Despite recent headlines, it's still a fun dance move to do.
241
00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:24,076
-Ted, Ted. -You gotta see the way I see it, okay?
242
00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:26,711
Everybody in this building, part of the team. Part of AFC Richmond.
243
00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:28,248
Team's gotta bond. All right?
244
00:12:28,332 --> 00:12:30,132
I mean, heck, Higgins and I are having lunch today.
245
00:12:30,209 --> 00:12:32,379
Yes. We're having salads in my office.
246
00:12:32,461 --> 00:12:33,801
All right, catch you later, boss.
247
00:12:33,879 --> 00:12:35,629
Higgins, see you at lunch, huh?
248
00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:37,014
Caesar you later.
249
00:12:40,052 --> 00:12:42,392
Yes. Yes.
250
00:12:44,806 --> 00:12:46,726
He's intolerable.
251
00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:51,020
Boy. That is bad.
252
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,404
Somebody ought to check this thing's prostate.
253
00:12:54,066 --> 00:12:54,896
Jeez.
254
00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:58,068
Yeah.
255
00:12:58,153 --> 00:13:00,073
Hey, Sam. You gotta pop upstairs real quick.
256
00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:01,985
Higgins wants to talk to you.
257
00:13:02,074 --> 00:13:03,494
Let's go. Move it, move it.
258
00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:07,873
Yep, yep. He's gone, he's gone.
259
00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:10,535
Shut the door, shut the door. Hey. Yo, hey, guys. Listen up, listen up.
260
00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:12,424
Okay, Sam's birthday is on Saturday.
261
00:13:12,501 --> 00:13:14,921
So I was thinking we'd all chip in and get him something nice.
262
00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:16,343
Nice gift or something. Right?
263
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:19,511
So, Nate's gonna be coming around with yet another impressive box.
264
00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:21,431
Look at this. It's got a face!
265
00:13:21,510 --> 00:13:23,970
-He has a face. -Sorry, it-- He. He.
266
00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:26,144
-You put the money in his mouth. -Okay, you hear that, y'all?
267
00:13:26,223 --> 00:13:29,563
You put the money in his mouth. Got it? Okay, good.
268
00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:30,813
Go get 'em, Nate.
269
00:13:31,562 --> 00:13:32,562
Okay? Help him out.
270
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:35,936
All right. Lovely. Thanks, Colin.
271
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,776
You put the money in his mouth.
272
00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:45,277
Yummy for you.
273
00:13:48,287 --> 00:13:51,287
It's spearmint. Make the money smell nice.
274
00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:53,633
Thank you, Jamie. That's incredibly thoughtful.
275
00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:57,963
Hey, Jamie. Real quick.
276
00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:01,376
Just wanna have a chat. Did you put gum in the box there?
277
00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:03,386
-Yeah. Yeah. -Now, why'd you go and do that?
278
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:05,548
-Sorry, Coach. -Nate's just trying to help us out here.
279
00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:08,137
-He's part of the team, right? -Yeah, right, Coach. Yeah, yeah.
280
00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:09,893
And I see this team like a band.
281
00:14:09,975 --> 00:14:12,805
-I love that. -And if we were the Rolling Stones,
282
00:14:13,395 --> 00:14:15,855
I'd be Mick Jagger, 'cause I'm the front man.
283
00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:17,149
-Sure. -I got the moves.
284
00:14:17,232 --> 00:14:19,232
Got a tiny waist, yeah. The whole bit. I get it.
285
00:14:19,318 --> 00:14:21,698
And Roy would be Keith Richards,
286
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:24,068
'cause he's old and everyone's surprised he ain't dead yet.
287
00:14:24,156 --> 00:14:25,566
What the fuck are you saying?
288
00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:27,327
Roy, mate, if you're gonna go to the shower,
289
00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:29,539
you should take your sweater off first, pal.
290
00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:38,046
I'm just taking the piss, mate. Yeah.
291
00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:39,878
I'll be better. Promise.
292
00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:41,883
Glad to hear it. Yeah.
293
00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:50,141
Marcus, what you got?
294
00:14:50,224 --> 00:14:52,644
How are you feeling about taking on Crystal Palace this weekend?
295
00:14:52,726 --> 00:14:55,936
A palace made out of crystal seems mighty fragile if you ask me.
296
00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:58,105
-Coach. -Coach!
297
00:14:59,316 --> 00:15:01,396
-Yeah, right there. -Trent Crimm, The Independent.
298
00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:03,025
I remember, Trent.
299
00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:06,281
I'm just curious. Could you explain the offside rule?
300
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:10,084
Well, Trent, I'm gonna put it the same way the US Supreme Court did
301
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:13,250
back in 1964 when they defined pornography.
302
00:15:13,330 --> 00:15:15,500
It ain't easy to explain, but you know it when you see it.
303
00:15:17,251 --> 00:15:20,631
-Yeah, this gentleman right here. -Ernie Lounds, The Sun.
304
00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:21,922
Thank you.
305
00:15:22,005 --> 00:15:23,915
This question's for Ms. Mannion.
306
00:15:24,007 --> 00:15:27,217
-It's "Welton." -Of course. My apologies.
307
00:15:27,302 --> 00:15:29,722
Any thoughts on the newest Rupert girl?
308
00:15:30,389 --> 00:15:33,639
Well, Rupert and I are no longer together, so...
309
00:15:34,268 --> 00:15:37,648
He may consort with whatever model-actress, actress-model he pleases.
310
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:42,025
No, the girl who came forward today is another one who was with Rupert
311
00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:43,109
while you were married.
312
00:15:44,236 --> 00:15:46,696
I mean, she says it started five years ago.
313
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:50,330
And they kept it going until, well, still.
314
00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:56,115
Oh.
315
00:15:57,749 --> 00:16:00,249
And all this time I thought men couldn't multitask.
316
00:16:02,296 --> 00:16:04,006
I'm afraid that's all we have time for.
317
00:16:04,089 --> 00:16:05,469
Thank you so much.
318
00:16:05,549 --> 00:16:06,549
Coach!
319
00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:15,765
Hey. How are you?
320
00:16:15,851 --> 00:16:17,901
Just wanna make sure you're doing okay.
321
00:16:17,978 --> 00:16:19,558
You know, that was pretty rough back there.
322
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,816
I expect nothing less from the press.
323
00:16:21,899 --> 00:16:22,899
Yeah.
324
00:16:23,775 --> 00:16:27,355
Sorry, did you need somebody to post that? Because that person's not me.
325
00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:31,485
No, come on. This is a care package from my little boy.
326
00:16:32,576 --> 00:16:35,326
Maybe something in here can help cheer you up, yeah?
327
00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:37,712
Got a small battalion of army men.
328
00:16:38,457 --> 00:16:39,747
Says here on the card that
329
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:42,543
I'm supposed to set 'em up in my apartment to help keep me safe.
330
00:16:46,298 --> 00:16:47,878
-Homemade kazoo. -Excellent.
331
00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:50,466
Only got one of those though, so you can't have that.
332
00:16:50,552 --> 00:16:51,972
Hey now.
333
00:16:52,804 --> 00:16:53,814
Look at that right there.
334
00:16:53,889 --> 00:16:57,769
You know, this right here is some of the best barbecue sauce in Kansas City,
335
00:16:57,851 --> 00:17:00,691
which makes it some of the best barbecue sauce in the world.
336
00:17:02,773 --> 00:17:03,773
Yes!
337
00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:06,607
You got some kind of food or something that can teleport you back home,
338
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:07,823
make you feel warm and fuzzy?
339
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:11,196
No.
340
00:17:13,742 --> 00:17:15,332
-Will that be all, Ted? -No.
341
00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:19,040
No, actually, the whole reason I'm here is 'cause I'm having a little trouble
342
00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:21,292
figuring out Jamie Tartt's operating instructions,
343
00:17:21,375 --> 00:17:23,955
and I was just seeing if you happened to have any advice.
344
00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:25,674
Sorry, I'm afraid--
345
00:17:27,381 --> 00:17:29,721
Your eyes just lit up. You got an idea. What is it? Go on.
346
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,930
I was just gonna say you should go and talk to Keeley.
347
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:35,350
I mean, you two have an obvious rapport. If anyone knows Jamie, it's her.
348
00:17:35,430 --> 00:17:37,600
See, that's why you're the boss, right?
349
00:17:37,683 --> 00:17:39,893
That's good. Hey, tell you what I'm gonna do though.
350
00:17:39,977 --> 00:17:43,057
I'm gonna give you one of these stinkers. Let's see. Let's get you a good one.
351
00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:46,066
Okay, this right here is gonna be your first line of defense,
352
00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:48,859
in case that little turkey Ernie Lounds comes back around, huh?
353
00:17:48,944 --> 00:17:51,614
How about that? We'll aim him right at the door there for you.
354
00:17:52,114 --> 00:17:54,204
All right, thanks, boss. I appreciate you.
355
00:17:57,953 --> 00:18:01,003
Yes! You look beautiful. Just pet the lion.
356
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,418
Exactly!
357
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:05,630
I love it. Give me a growl, yeah.
358
00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:08,797
Sexy, yeah.
359
00:18:08,881 --> 00:18:12,341
Yeah. Beautiful. Yeah, all right.
360
00:18:12,426 --> 00:18:13,886
Let's set up for the next shot.
361
00:18:13,969 --> 00:18:15,639
-Hi. -Hey, how you doing?
362
00:18:15,721 --> 00:18:17,261
Yeah, I'm all right. How are you?
363
00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:19,847
Yeah, not bad. So, you went with the lion, huh?
364
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:22,443
-Yeah. -I'm a little hurt, but it looks cool.
365
00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:24,189
I look insane.
366
00:18:24,897 --> 00:18:27,147
But I do think it's a better look than the panda.
367
00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:30,491
Oh, yeah.
368
00:18:31,862 --> 00:18:33,162
-Fuck, I'm famished. -Yeah?
369
00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:34,738
Most lions are.
370
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,333
-Look. Let's get some food. -Okay.
371
00:18:36,408 --> 00:18:38,078
-You hungry? -Yeah, is it free?
372
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,080
Gotta be pretty fun for you, yeah?
373
00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:41,332
Yeah. I'm getting paid a shit ton
374
00:18:41,413 --> 00:18:43,873
to get dressed up like an animal and sell caffeinated vodka.
375
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:45,577
But I do get to go home with the paws.
376
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,707
Well, there's the perks right there. Yeah.
377
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,964
-Can I have a bite? -Yeah. There you go.
378
00:18:50,047 --> 00:18:51,967
-Thank you. -Careful. You're welcome.
379
00:18:53,008 --> 00:18:55,838
I know that you didn't just pop down to feed me.
380
00:18:56,595 --> 00:18:59,005
No, you're right. I wanted to ask you about Jamie.
381
00:18:59,598 --> 00:19:00,848
Yeah.
382
00:19:02,059 --> 00:19:03,729
What would you say motivates him?
383
00:19:04,770 --> 00:19:05,940
Blow jobs.
384
00:19:08,273 --> 00:19:09,403
Is there a second option?
385
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:12,860
Go on, give us another bite.
386
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,070
Hey. There you are.
387
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:18,082
Now, look, I know the kid's gonna be a star.
388
00:19:18,784 --> 00:19:21,084
I was kinda hoping he'd, you know, warm up
389
00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:23,661
to the team building I'm trying to do here. That's all.
390
00:19:23,747 --> 00:19:26,627
Actually, he responds well to positive reinforcement.
391
00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:28,498
-That's my wheelhouse. -There you go, then.
392
00:19:28,585 --> 00:19:29,835
Okay. Bite.
393
00:19:32,464 --> 00:19:34,094
-Go on, give us one more bite. -Here you go.
394
00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:35,134
Yeah.
395
00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:38,296
-That was a big one. -Well, yep.
396
00:19:38,387 --> 00:19:39,677
You got some ketchup there.
397
00:19:39,763 --> 00:19:41,523
Looks like you devoured an antelope.
398
00:19:41,598 --> 00:19:42,888
-Help me. -Just be careful. Hold on.
399
00:19:42,975 --> 00:19:44,475
Yeah, I feel that. There's a lot of it.
400
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,440
Yeah, it's a lot and I'm just--
401
00:19:47,479 --> 00:19:48,479
Richmond! Richmond!
402
00:19:48,564 --> 00:19:52,324
We are moments away from Crystal Palace facing AFC Richmond
403
00:19:52,401 --> 00:19:54,571
and their new manager, Ted Lasso.
404
00:19:54,653 --> 00:19:59,493
While on the pitch, all eyes will surely be on young phenom, Jamie Tartt.
405
00:19:59,575 --> 00:20:01,785
All right, fellas, here we go. Here we go.
406
00:20:01,869 --> 00:20:03,329
Coach, you got any last words?
407
00:20:03,412 --> 00:20:06,422
-Speed on the outside. -Speed on the outside. You heard the man.
408
00:20:06,498 --> 00:20:08,458
That's all we got for you, except for one thing.
409
00:20:08,542 --> 00:20:11,092
And that's Happy Birthday, Sam!
410
00:20:20,429 --> 00:20:22,679
Babatunde's the best.
411
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:26,100
-Hey. -Hey, enjoy.
412
00:20:27,477 --> 00:20:29,397
Hey, man, you guys got me Chin Chin.
413
00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:32,269
Wow, this is all I used to eat growing up.
414
00:20:32,941 --> 00:20:35,941
We know you haven't been home in a while, so we thought we'd bring some home to you.
415
00:20:36,028 --> 00:20:37,698
You guys, man.
416
00:20:48,832 --> 00:20:51,292
-Hey. Happy Birthday, Sam. -Thank you, Coach.
417
00:20:51,376 --> 00:20:53,166
We got a few things in there for you.
418
00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:54,803
Coach, what's this?
419
00:20:55,464 --> 00:20:58,384
Well, my little boy gave me a whole bunch of these.
420
00:20:58,467 --> 00:21:00,177
You know, help keep me safe while I'm away.
421
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:02,890
I miss him, you know.
422
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:07,310
My dad used to-- always used to pinch my earlobes for good luck.
423
00:21:08,977 --> 00:21:10,807
Give me a fucking break.
424
00:21:14,525 --> 00:21:15,525
Sorry, Coach.
425
00:21:16,944 --> 00:21:19,204
Coach, is it okay if I don't keep this?
426
00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:22,819
I don't really have the same fondness for the American military that you do.
427
00:21:22,908 --> 00:21:24,908
Sure. Right.
428
00:21:24,993 --> 00:21:26,703
-Imperialism. Right. Yeah. -Imperialism.
429
00:21:26,787 --> 00:21:28,407
Thank you, Coach. Thank you.
430
00:21:28,497 --> 00:21:29,407
All right, fellas.
431
00:21:29,498 --> 00:21:32,708
Let's get out there and show Crystal Palace whose house this is, right?
432
00:21:35,462 --> 00:21:36,712
West meets South again.
433
00:21:36,797 --> 00:21:40,177
It's Derby Day in London, and the atmosphere is electric.
434
00:21:40,259 --> 00:21:43,349
With a new owner in the boardroom and a new manager in the dugout,
435
00:21:43,428 --> 00:21:47,268
will it be a new dawn for the perennial underdog, AFC Richmond?
436
00:21:47,891 --> 00:21:50,731
Welcome to what the home fans call the "Dogtrack."
437
00:21:50,811 --> 00:21:55,361
It's Nelson Road Stadium, for AFC Richmond against Crystal Palace.
438
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:58,280
I'm Arlo White and this is Chris Powell.
439
00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:00,030
And it's great to be here, Arlo.
440
00:22:00,654 --> 00:22:02,244
-You ready? -Your fly is down.
441
00:22:02,990 --> 00:22:04,620
Thank you.
442
00:22:04,700 --> 00:22:05,700
All right, shall we?
443
00:22:06,660 --> 00:22:08,750
Chris, did you ever play under an American manager?
444
00:22:08,829 --> 00:22:12,329
Never did, Arlo. Wouldn't have minded it. I do speak the language.
445
00:22:13,834 --> 00:22:16,344
Wanker! Wanker! Wanker!
446
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:27,310
To the fans at home, we do apologize for the fruity language.
447
00:22:27,389 --> 00:22:29,139
Wanker! Wanker!
448
00:22:29,725 --> 00:22:32,305
It was a risky hire by new owner, Rebecca Welton.
449
00:22:32,394 --> 00:22:34,654
Does she know something we don't?
450
00:22:34,730 --> 00:22:36,060
Wanker! Wanker!
451
00:22:36,148 --> 00:22:38,278
Oi! Give him a chance.
452
00:22:40,777 --> 00:22:42,067
Wanker!
453
00:22:42,154 --> 00:22:44,074
We got 90 minutes to prove 'em wrong, yeah?
454
00:22:44,781 --> 00:22:45,781
Let's give it a shot.
455
00:22:45,866 --> 00:22:47,446
Here we go.
456
00:22:49,536 --> 00:22:51,206
And there you go.
457
00:22:51,288 --> 00:22:54,288
It's an inauspicious start to the Ted Lasso era.
458
00:22:56,668 --> 00:23:01,758
Richmond looked disjointed, uninspired, and, you have to say, joyless.
459
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,430
Palace win and Richmond lose 4-1.
460
00:23:04,510 --> 00:23:07,890
The only bright spot being the defensive play of Sam Obisanya.
461
00:23:07,971 --> 00:23:09,221
Only bright spot?
462
00:23:09,681 --> 00:23:12,811
Without me, it would've been 4-0, you miserable old pricks.
463
00:23:12,893 --> 00:23:15,853
And a meaningless consolation goal for Jamie Tartt in injury time.
464
00:23:15,938 --> 00:23:17,228
Thank you!
465
00:23:18,357 --> 00:23:19,977
Jamie. Real quick.
466
00:23:20,067 --> 00:23:21,527
Regarding Jamie Tartt,
467
00:23:21,610 --> 00:23:24,610
it was an insignificant goal by the Manchester City loanee,
468
00:23:24,696 --> 00:23:27,066
but he celebrated like he'd just won the World Cup.
469
00:23:30,410 --> 00:23:32,290
I haven't known you that long, but...
470
00:23:33,413 --> 00:23:36,213
I can honestly say you are the best athlete I have ever coached.
471
00:23:38,377 --> 00:23:39,377
Wow.
472
00:23:40,546 --> 00:23:42,796
Yeah. I mean, I work hard, yeah.
473
00:23:42,881 --> 00:23:43,881
I see it.
474
00:23:44,508 --> 00:23:46,968
You are truly great at everything you do out there.
475
00:23:47,970 --> 00:23:49,180
Except for one thing.
476
00:23:49,263 --> 00:23:50,353
My left foot cross?
477
00:23:50,430 --> 00:23:54,640
No. Jamie, I think that you might be so sure that you're one in a million,
478
00:23:55,477 --> 00:23:58,107
that sometimes you forget that out there, you're just one of eleven.
479
00:23:59,857 --> 00:24:04,237
And if you just figure out some way to turn that "me" into "us"...
480
00:24:06,738 --> 00:24:08,198
the sky's the limit for you.
481
00:24:10,701 --> 00:24:12,491
Was a heck of a goal out there, by the way.
482
00:24:13,412 --> 00:24:14,542
Thanks.
483
00:24:19,668 --> 00:24:22,128
Richmond fall to 13th place.
484
00:24:22,212 --> 00:24:23,962
I'm sure they won't be there very long.
485
00:24:24,047 --> 00:24:25,467
Is that optimism, Chris?
486
00:24:25,549 --> 00:24:27,969
No. Actually, I'm wearing Obsession by Calvin Klein.
487
00:24:28,051 --> 00:24:30,141
That was fucking embarrassing!
488
00:24:31,180 --> 00:24:33,890
I am equally livid.
489
00:24:33,974 --> 00:24:35,064
-Blimey, mate. -Jesus Christ.
490
00:24:35,142 --> 00:24:36,602
Oh, my God.
491
00:24:36,685 --> 00:24:38,435
-Didn't know he had it in him. -Good lad.
492
00:24:42,232 --> 00:24:43,322
Oh, my God.
493
00:24:53,452 --> 00:24:54,452
Hey, come on now.
494
00:24:55,078 --> 00:24:56,658
Hey, let's shake this one off, all right?
495
00:24:56,747 --> 00:24:59,077
Start getting better on Monday. Until then--
496
00:24:59,166 --> 00:25:03,586
Hey, DJ Beard-o, why don't you help pick up the mood in here, all right?
497
00:25:04,963 --> 00:25:07,383
Little Phife Dawg and Q-Tip comin' at you.
498
00:25:08,217 --> 00:25:10,257
Come on now. Everybody get some cake.
499
00:25:10,344 --> 00:25:13,184
You know, it's Sam's birthday. Go ahead, get some sugar in your system.
500
00:25:13,263 --> 00:25:14,263
Go on now.
501
00:25:22,523 --> 00:25:24,023
Hey, y'all.
502
00:25:24,107 --> 00:25:28,147
I come bearing sweet treats to numb the sting of defeat.
503
00:25:30,072 --> 00:25:31,622
-Yeah. -Thank you.
504
00:25:31,698 --> 00:25:35,448
And hey, just so you know, we can play a lot better than we showed today.
505
00:25:37,246 --> 00:25:41,496
I know it would mean a lot to the guys if y'all just came down, joined in.
506
00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:43,423
Let 'em know you're still in their corner.
507
00:25:44,878 --> 00:25:47,008
That's all the arm twisting I'm gonna do though, okay?
508
00:25:49,007 --> 00:25:51,507
Ted, you know what might convince me?
509
00:25:52,427 --> 00:25:55,717
If you told me where you got these delicious biscuits.
510
00:25:56,765 --> 00:25:59,845
Well, if I did that, I wouldn't be able to bring you more on Monday, would I?
511
00:26:01,770 --> 00:26:03,610
All right. Hope to see y'all downstairs.
512
00:26:04,731 --> 00:26:05,731
It's good cake.
513
00:26:08,318 --> 00:26:10,398
Jamie! Trent Crimm, The Independent.
514
00:26:10,487 --> 00:26:14,527
That was quite a beating today. How you taking the loss?
515
00:26:15,284 --> 00:26:18,954
Look, it's not just me though, is it? We're a team. I'm just one of eleven.
516
00:26:20,330 --> 00:26:21,750
-Candy from a baby. -Okay.
517
00:26:21,832 --> 00:26:22,832
They were rubbish.
518
00:26:27,504 --> 00:26:30,424
Fuck it. Yeah, I am taking it pretty hard, you know?
519
00:26:30,507 --> 00:26:32,887
The rest of them, they're all in there eating cake.
520
00:26:32,968 --> 00:26:35,138
-Seriously? -Yeah, seriously, mate.
521
00:26:35,220 --> 00:26:38,640
The new gaffer's got music on in there. It's like a party. It's a joke.
522
00:26:59,870 --> 00:27:03,500
Careful, son. The gaffer's fixed the water pressure.
523
00:27:05,083 --> 00:27:06,593
I hate losing.
524
00:27:06,668 --> 00:27:08,128
Bird by bird, Coach.
525
00:27:08,212 --> 00:27:10,052
-Good night, Coach. -Night, Coach.
526
00:27:12,883 --> 00:27:14,053
Here's trouble.
527
00:27:14,885 --> 00:27:17,005
-I saw the match. -Yeah? What'd you think?
528
00:27:17,095 --> 00:27:18,255
You were rubbish.
529
00:27:19,097 --> 00:27:20,967
-Yeah, maybe so. -Yeah.
530
00:27:21,058 --> 00:27:22,978
I did wanna get your advice on one thing.
531
00:27:23,977 --> 00:27:26,477
What do you think-- Look at that! Got ya!
532
00:27:26,563 --> 00:27:28,573
-Yeah? All right, I underestimated you. -Yeah.
533
00:27:28,649 --> 00:27:31,189
See, no one sees me coming. Come on, what you got? What you got?
534
00:27:31,276 --> 00:27:33,606
That was quick. Okay, I'm gonna take my backpack off now.
535
00:27:33,695 --> 00:27:34,775
We're gonna really do this.
536
00:27:34,863 --> 00:27:37,033
-Let me stretch here a little bit. -All right. Yeah.
537
00:27:37,115 --> 00:27:39,365
Here we go. Okay. All right, now you're in trouble.
538
00:27:39,451 --> 00:27:40,791
Get your breath back.
539
00:27:56,969 --> 00:27:58,139
What?
540
00:27:58,220 --> 00:27:59,390
I just sent you the pictures.
541
00:28:04,059 --> 00:28:05,559
That's exactly what I wanted.
542
00:28:07,855 --> 00:28:10,815
The star player's girlfriend and the new manager.
543
00:28:12,484 --> 00:28:14,074
Are you sure you want to do this?
544
00:28:14,152 --> 00:28:16,492
The press will eat them alive.
545
00:28:27,082 --> 00:28:28,502
Miss Welton?
546
00:28:34,089 --> 00:28:35,169
Do it.
39881
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.