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This programme contains
strong language and adult humour
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00:00:04,901 --> 00:00:06,021
♪ Oh, Mandy
3
00:00:06,021 --> 00:00:08,221
♪ Well, you came and
you gave without taking
4
00:00:08,221 --> 00:00:09,941
♪ But I sent you away
5
00:00:09,941 --> 00:00:11,581
♪ Oh, Mandy
6
00:00:11,581 --> 00:00:16,781
♪ Well, you kissed me
and stopped me from shaking
7
00:00:16,781 --> 00:00:19,061
♪ And I need you today
8
00:00:19,061 --> 00:00:21,661
♪ Oh, Mandy. ♪
9
00:00:22,661 --> 00:00:25,941
So, what kind of work
are you interested in?
10
00:00:26,941 --> 00:00:31,061
I like mindless tasks. You know,
something I can do with my hands.
11
00:00:31,061 --> 00:00:33,061
OK, let's have a little look.
12
00:00:36,061 --> 00:00:37,821
Don't touch that, please.
13
00:00:37,821 --> 00:00:41,221
Oh, here's a bit of luck. There's
a position here packing fruit
14
00:00:41,221 --> 00:00:44,821
at a food distribution factory.
Oh, no. That doesn't sound like me.
15
00:00:44,821 --> 00:00:48,141
It's either that or you'll have to
attend an adult training course
16
00:00:48,141 --> 00:00:51,621
to improve your interview technique.
That doesn't sound like me either.
17
00:00:51,621 --> 00:00:54,781
Well, you've got to do one of them
or I'll have to dock your benefits.
18
00:00:54,781 --> 00:00:57,461
Fruit factory or adult training
course? It's up to you.
19
00:00:57,461 --> 00:00:59,341
It's like Sophie's Choice, in't it?
20
00:01:01,461 --> 00:01:03,061
♪ Job-seeker
21
00:01:06,541 --> 00:01:08,141
♪ Job-seeker... ♪
22
00:01:12,061 --> 00:01:14,061
Please watch the video.
23
00:01:18,541 --> 00:01:21,941
Welcome to your new job
at Gone Bananas,
24
00:01:21,941 --> 00:01:26,061
the banana processing
and distribution centre!
25
00:01:26,061 --> 00:01:31,221
Please pay attention to this short
health and safety presentation.
26
00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:35,541
Processing and distributing
up to 20,000 bananas a day,
27
00:01:35,541 --> 00:01:38,781
we are proud to have
the sixth highest volume
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00:01:38,781 --> 00:01:42,781
of any banana processing and
distribution centre in the UK
29
00:01:42,781 --> 00:01:45,061
and North Europe region.
30
00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:49,541
And all this with the third best
health and safety record.
31
00:01:49,541 --> 00:01:51,701
Let's keep it that way.
32
00:01:54,141 --> 00:01:58,061
This is Mick. Mick was brought
on board to replace Jill,
33
00:01:58,061 --> 00:02:01,301
who was sadly killed
in a banana processing
34
00:02:01,301 --> 00:02:03,701
and distribution incident.
35
00:02:03,701 --> 00:02:07,381
Don't let what happened to Jill
happen to Mick
36
00:02:07,381 --> 00:02:09,061
or to you.
37
00:02:14,061 --> 00:02:15,781
These are laminates.
38
00:02:15,781 --> 00:02:19,061
It is particularly important
you familiarise yourselves
39
00:02:19,061 --> 00:02:20,781
with this one.
40
00:02:20,781 --> 00:02:24,061
This is a deadly spider
from north Africa.
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00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:27,501
If you see it, you must smash it
with your hammer.
42
00:02:27,501 --> 00:02:30,061
And remember the Gone Bananas code.
43
00:02:31,301 --> 00:02:34,301
One to stun, two to kill,
44
00:02:34,301 --> 00:02:36,501
three to make sure.
45
00:02:37,581 --> 00:02:39,541
DRAMATIC JINGLE PLAYS
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00:02:46,301 --> 00:02:50,061
Did you watch the video? Yeah, yeah.
That were dead informative, that.
47
00:02:50,061 --> 00:02:53,141
Thanks for that. Great.
I will see you on Monday, then.
48
00:02:53,141 --> 00:02:54,541
All right.
49
00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:58,301
Have you been smoking?
50
00:02:58,301 --> 00:02:59,701
No.
51
00:03:00,701 --> 00:03:03,061
No, it were like this
when I come in.
52
00:03:04,781 --> 00:03:06,221
Minty Peak?
53
00:03:06,221 --> 00:03:09,301
Actually, have you got something
all grown-up and executive?
54
00:03:09,301 --> 00:03:11,621
You know, something that says
conference call?
55
00:03:11,621 --> 00:03:14,141
No Minty Peak? I've got a new job.
56
00:03:14,141 --> 00:03:16,621
Oh, that is wonderful news, Mandy.
57
00:03:16,621 --> 00:03:18,781
What is it? At the banana factory.
58
00:03:18,781 --> 00:03:22,301
I'm an arachnid control operative.
What is that?
59
00:03:22,301 --> 00:03:24,781
Spiders, Lol!
They come in on the bananas.
60
00:03:24,781 --> 00:03:28,181
It's my job to smash 'em.
It's a very important role.
61
00:03:28,181 --> 00:03:30,781
Why don't they smash them
at their end?
62
00:03:30,781 --> 00:03:33,541
I don't know, but I'm quids in here.
63
00:03:33,541 --> 00:03:35,541
I am so happy for you, Mandy.
64
00:03:35,541 --> 00:03:37,301
Can I ask you something?
65
00:03:37,301 --> 00:03:39,661
How exactly do you kill
the arachnids?
66
00:03:39,661 --> 00:03:42,181
♪ Day-o... ♪
67
00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:45,301
One to stun, two to kill,
three to make sure.
68
00:03:45,301 --> 00:03:47,541
♪ Daylight come and me... ♪
69
00:03:47,541 --> 00:03:50,541
One to stun, two to kill,
three to make sure.
70
00:03:52,061 --> 00:03:56,061
♪ Work all night and drink a rum
71
00:03:56,061 --> 00:04:00,061
♪ Daylight come and me wanna go home
72
00:04:00,061 --> 00:04:04,061
♪ Stack banana till the morning come
73
00:04:04,061 --> 00:04:07,821
♪ Daylight come and me wanna go home
74
00:04:07,821 --> 00:04:12,061
♪ Come mister tally man,
tally me banana
75
00:04:12,061 --> 00:04:15,781
♪ Daylight come and me wanna go home
76
00:04:15,781 --> 00:04:19,701
♪ Come mister tally man,
tally me banana
77
00:04:19,701 --> 00:04:23,541
♪ Daylight come and me wanna go home
78
00:04:23,541 --> 00:04:27,541
♪ Lift six foot, seven foot,
eight foot bunch
79
00:04:27,541 --> 00:04:31,381
♪ Daylight come and me wanna go home
80
00:04:31,381 --> 00:04:34,981
♪ Six foot, seven foot,
eight foot bunch
81
00:04:34,981 --> 00:04:39,381
♪ Daylight come and me wanna go home
82
00:04:39,381 --> 00:04:40,781
♪ Day
83
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:43,061
♪ Me say day-o
84
00:04:43,061 --> 00:04:47,061
♪ Daylight come and me wanna go home
85
00:04:47,061 --> 00:04:48,541
♪ Day
86
00:04:48,541 --> 00:04:51,301
♪ Me say day, me say day, me say day
87
00:04:51,301 --> 00:04:54,781
♪ Daylight come and me wanna go home
88
00:04:54,781 --> 00:04:58,781
♪ A beautiful bunch of ripe banana
89
00:04:58,781 --> 00:05:02,781
♪ Daylight come and me wanna go home
90
00:05:02,781 --> 00:05:06,781
♪ Hide the deadly black tarantula
91
00:05:06,781 --> 00:05:10,421
♪ Daylight come and me wanna go home
92
00:05:10,421 --> 00:05:14,781
♪ Lift six foot, seven foot,
eight foot bunch
93
00:05:14,781 --> 00:05:17,141
♪ Daylight come and me wanna... ♪
94
00:05:17,141 --> 00:05:20,061
These are for you. Bananas?
95
00:05:20,061 --> 00:05:23,781
You get to take the black ones home.
Oh, great. Ta.
96
00:05:26,301 --> 00:05:27,781
♪ Day
97
00:05:27,781 --> 00:05:29,941
♪ Me say day-o
98
00:05:29,941 --> 00:05:34,061
♪ Daylight come and me wanna go home
99
00:05:34,061 --> 00:05:36,261
♪ Day-o
100
00:05:37,261 --> 00:05:38,861
♪ Day-o
101
00:05:39,861 --> 00:05:42,301
♪ Daylight come
102
00:05:42,301 --> 00:05:48,061
♪ And me wanna go home. ♪
103
00:06:05,301 --> 00:06:07,781
Something terrible has happened.
104
00:06:23,061 --> 00:06:25,541
I bloody loved that job, Lola.
105
00:06:25,541 --> 00:06:27,701
I were good at it, too.
106
00:06:27,701 --> 00:06:30,541
Shh. Dear, dear, never mind.
107
00:06:31,541 --> 00:06:36,061
It weren't my fault, though. They're
really fast, some of these spiders.
108
00:06:38,621 --> 00:06:40,541
What is the latest death toll?
109
00:06:40,541 --> 00:06:42,061
17.
110
00:06:53,381 --> 00:06:55,581
It's not all bad news, though.
111
00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:57,941
I've got a phone interview
in the morning.
112
00:06:59,541 --> 00:07:01,781
I might not mention the 17 dead.
113
00:07:03,661 --> 00:07:06,061
What makes you think
you're the right person
114
00:07:06,061 --> 00:07:08,701
to join Chicken Bungalow?
I like fried chicken.
115
00:07:08,701 --> 00:07:10,661
I have it most nights.
116
00:07:10,661 --> 00:07:14,221
I like other people who eat fried
chicken, so I assume we'd get on,
117
00:07:14,221 --> 00:07:17,461
and I always wash my hands, not
just when I've done a number two.
118
00:07:18,461 --> 00:07:20,861
Where do you see yourself
in five years?
119
00:07:20,861 --> 00:07:23,541
Well, if I'm not breeding
Dobermann Pinschers,
120
00:07:23,541 --> 00:07:26,421
hopefully I'll be working for you
just frying chicken.
121
00:07:27,421 --> 00:07:29,301
What are your strengths?
122
00:07:29,301 --> 00:07:31,061
I'm not a grass.
123
00:07:31,061 --> 00:07:34,061
I might be some things
but I'm not a grass.
124
00:07:34,061 --> 00:07:36,781
Oh, and I can swallow
a tangerine whole.
125
00:07:37,781 --> 00:07:39,541
TOILET FLUSHES
126
00:07:39,541 --> 00:07:42,221
When can you let me know by?
127
00:07:42,221 --> 00:07:44,181
♪ Job-seeker
128
00:07:47,061 --> 00:07:48,781
♪ Job-seeker... ♪
129
00:07:52,941 --> 00:07:55,061
Cheers for taking a chance on me.
130
00:07:55,061 --> 00:07:59,301
Well, to be honest, you were
the only applicant. Oh, fantastic.
131
00:08:00,861 --> 00:08:02,621
I won't let you down.
132
00:08:06,701 --> 00:08:10,061
Is it all right if I go on my
break now? I'm gasping for a fag.
133
00:08:11,301 --> 00:08:12,781
Yeah, all right.
134
00:08:12,781 --> 00:08:15,621
Just make sure you're not seen
smoking in your uniform.
135
00:08:15,621 --> 00:08:18,141
It's not the healthy image
we want to portray.
136
00:08:18,141 --> 00:08:19,381
Yeah.
137
00:08:50,701 --> 00:08:52,301
FAN WHIRS
138
00:08:56,461 --> 00:08:58,501
FAN CHUGS
139
00:09:03,861 --> 00:09:05,541
Shit.
140
00:09:07,141 --> 00:09:09,061
Oh, fuckin' hell.
141
00:09:14,061 --> 00:09:15,701
Cheers. Thanks.
142
00:09:16,701 --> 00:09:18,061
One second.
143
00:09:20,541 --> 00:09:22,381
We've just got a...
144
00:09:22,381 --> 00:09:23,901
..new person.
145
00:09:25,621 --> 00:09:27,341
Oh, shit.
146
00:09:29,301 --> 00:09:31,501
Oh, fuckin' shit.
147
00:09:32,501 --> 00:09:35,061
FAN CHUGS
Jesus.
148
00:09:36,061 --> 00:09:38,101
SHE BLOWS
149
00:09:38,101 --> 00:09:40,141
SHE COUGHS
150
00:09:41,661 --> 00:09:43,061
Help!
151
00:09:44,061 --> 00:09:46,381
Oh, this is fucking typical.
152
00:09:46,381 --> 00:09:48,301
There you go.
153
00:09:48,301 --> 00:09:50,061
Thanks.
154
00:09:50,061 --> 00:09:51,781
ALARM BLARES
155
00:09:51,781 --> 00:09:53,381
One second.
156
00:10:03,621 --> 00:10:05,421
Have you been smoking?
157
00:10:05,421 --> 00:10:08,061
No, it were like this
when I come in.
158
00:10:11,541 --> 00:10:13,621
What time do you want me tomorrow?
159
00:10:14,621 --> 00:10:16,461
Back again, I see.
160
00:10:18,781 --> 00:10:21,781
Now, Mandy, I've had some feedback
from your recent employers
161
00:10:21,781 --> 00:10:24,381
and it would be helpful and
constructive for you to hear
162
00:10:24,381 --> 00:10:26,821
what they had to say.
Oh, no, I'm all right, thanks.
163
00:10:26,821 --> 00:10:28,701
Mark from Chicken Bungalow said,
164
00:10:28,701 --> 00:10:31,061
"She burned down
my chicken restaurant."
165
00:10:31,061 --> 00:10:33,861
And the banana people said
thanks to your negligence,
166
00:10:33,861 --> 00:10:35,541
17 lives were lost.
167
00:10:35,541 --> 00:10:37,541
I knew they'd dredge that up.
168
00:10:37,541 --> 00:10:40,461
And all of them said they thought
you could do with some work
169
00:10:40,461 --> 00:10:43,541
on your interview skills
so I'm afraid I am going to insist
170
00:10:43,541 --> 00:10:46,581
that you go on the adult
training course. Fuckin' hell!
171
00:10:50,301 --> 00:10:52,061
♪ Job-seeker
172
00:10:55,301 --> 00:10:57,061
♪ Job-seeker
173
00:11:00,301 --> 00:11:02,061
♪ Job-seeker
174
00:11:05,781 --> 00:11:07,541
♪ Job-seeker
175
00:11:11,061 --> 00:11:12,701
♪ Job-seeker
176
00:11:16,141 --> 00:11:17,541
♪ Job-seeker... ♪
177
00:11:17,541 --> 00:11:19,061
Right, who's next?
178
00:11:19,061 --> 00:11:20,541
Come on, then.
179
00:11:23,541 --> 00:11:26,581
OK, if you could just stand
there on your mark, please.
180
00:11:26,581 --> 00:11:28,301
How tall are you?
181
00:11:28,301 --> 00:11:29,861
No idea.
182
00:11:29,861 --> 00:11:33,061
Somewhere between Dudley Moore
and Richard Osmond.
183
00:11:33,061 --> 00:11:37,661
Right. OK. Just read this for us,
please, in your own time.
184
00:11:37,661 --> 00:11:39,301
♪ Job-seeker
185
00:11:42,381 --> 00:11:44,061
♪ Job-seeker... ♪
186
00:11:47,261 --> 00:11:50,701
A couple of things to discuss,
Mandy. Fuckin' ell. What now?
187
00:11:50,701 --> 00:11:53,981
First of all, you didn't attend
the adult training course as agreed.
188
00:11:53,981 --> 00:11:55,781
I did. I definitely went there.
189
00:11:55,781 --> 00:11:58,581
Well, you didn't sign the register.
Didn't I? No.
190
00:12:00,421 --> 00:12:03,461
It's so long ago now. It was last
Wednesday. You can't expect me to
191
00:12:03,461 --> 00:12:05,901
remember everything
that's ever happened. Jesus!
192
00:12:05,901 --> 00:12:09,381
Secondly, have you been doing any
paid work over the last two weeks?
193
00:12:10,781 --> 00:12:13,381
No. Because it's come
to my attention, Mandy,
194
00:12:13,381 --> 00:12:16,501
that you've actually been working.
I haven't.
195
00:12:16,501 --> 00:12:19,581
You haven't appeared in a commercial
for a payday loans company?
196
00:12:19,581 --> 00:12:21,501
Who's told you that?
197
00:12:21,501 --> 00:12:23,701
Mandy, your face is everywhere.
198
00:12:24,701 --> 00:12:28,541
She just looks like me. What about
her? Does she look like you?
199
00:12:29,901 --> 00:12:31,461
What about this?
200
00:12:31,461 --> 00:12:34,541
Are you desperate for some cash
but don't have any family members
201
00:12:34,541 --> 00:12:36,461
willing to bail you out again?
202
00:12:36,461 --> 00:12:38,341
Then try Cash Maggot.
203
00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:40,301
Too many bills this month?
204
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:43,461
Visit Cash Maggot and get
the money you need today.
205
00:12:43,461 --> 00:12:45,301
It's so quick and simple.
206
00:12:45,301 --> 00:12:48,941
There's nothing to fax
and no boring paperwork to send.
207
00:12:48,941 --> 00:12:51,781
I'm a cash maggot.
I am a cash maggot.
208
00:12:51,781 --> 00:12:54,541
I'm a cash maggot.
I'm a cash maggot!
209
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:56,461
Call Cash Maggot now
210
00:12:56,461 --> 00:12:59,941
and you can have up to £300
in your account straight away.
211
00:12:59,941 --> 00:13:02,861
I'm a cash maggot. He is.
I am. She is.
212
00:13:02,861 --> 00:13:05,541
I am. She is. I am. They are.
213
00:13:05,541 --> 00:13:07,301
He definitely is.
214
00:13:07,301 --> 00:13:09,061
ALL: Thanks, Cash Maggot!
215
00:13:09,061 --> 00:13:10,701
Representative APR 91%.
216
00:13:10,701 --> 00:13:13,461
Your home may be at risk
if you do not keep up repayments.
217
00:13:13,461 --> 00:13:16,461
The fact that you're mouthing
the words suggests that it's you.
218
00:13:16,461 --> 00:13:18,861
So how much did you get paid?
Nothing.
219
00:13:18,861 --> 00:13:20,501
Yet.
220
00:13:20,501 --> 00:13:22,541
How much will you be getting?
221
00:13:23,541 --> 00:13:26,021
It were only a day. I mean...
How much?
222
00:13:27,021 --> 00:13:28,621
30 grand.
223
00:13:28,621 --> 00:13:31,061
Sorry, what was that? £30,000.
224
00:13:33,061 --> 00:13:37,061
Mandy, we take benefit fraud
very seriously here.
225
00:13:37,061 --> 00:13:40,301
OK? There's a strict procedure
for this. I have to refer it
226
00:13:40,301 --> 00:13:43,141
to my line manager.
She'll have to refer it to legal.
227
00:13:43,141 --> 00:13:45,581
They'll open a full investigation,
work out...
228
00:13:45,581 --> 00:13:47,301
♪ Day-o
229
00:13:47,301 --> 00:13:49,381
♪ Da-a-ay-o
230
00:13:50,381 --> 00:13:54,541
♪ Daylight come
and me wanna go home...
231
00:13:54,541 --> 00:13:57,021
You've got 30 days to appeal it.
232
00:13:57,021 --> 00:13:59,381
♪ Me say day, me say day, me say day
233
00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:01,221
♪ Me say day, me say day-o... ♪
234
00:14:01,221 --> 00:14:02,901
..a custodial sentence.
235
00:14:03,901 --> 00:14:05,461
♪ Job-seeker
236
00:14:18,541 --> 00:14:20,061
♪ Bo! ♪
17459
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