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1
00:00:58,851 --> 00:01:02,063
So thanks very much for having me in
and here's my pitch.
2
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Um, this is a movie I've had in my head
for a long time.
3
00:01:04,816 --> 00:01:06,067
It's a comedy.
4
00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:07,402
Hopefully.
5
00:01:07,485 --> 00:01:08,486
Anyway...
6
00:01:08,903 --> 00:01:12,407
Let's say Jack Nicholson decided
7
00:01:12,490 --> 00:01:14,492
that he wanted to know
what people truly thought of him.
8
00:01:14,576 --> 00:01:17,078
Whether his life had
actually amounted to anything.
9
00:01:17,161 --> 00:01:20,832
So he fakes his death
and stages his own funeral.
10
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I just think the possibilities
are pretty hilarious.
11
00:01:27,589 --> 00:01:30,425
Ultimately, amid all the cliché eulogies
12
00:01:30,508 --> 00:01:32,677
and insincere expressions of grief,
13
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:36,264
he discovers one grandson
who truly misses him.
14
00:01:37,056 --> 00:01:38,975
It could be very heartwarming.
15
00:01:40,685 --> 00:01:42,103
I don't get this.
16
00:01:42,812 --> 00:01:45,356
Just like I didn't get it when
you pitched it to me six months ago.
17
00:01:46,024 --> 00:01:47,233
I did? Where was that?
18
00:01:47,317 --> 00:01:49,485
At the Red Sunset premiere.
19
00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:52,238
Glad I left such an impression that night.
20
00:01:52,614 --> 00:01:54,866
Right, sorry, yeah, yeah.
I knew I knew you.
21
00:01:54,949 --> 00:01:56,367
Sorry. Yes! Yes!
22
00:01:56,451 --> 00:01:59,787
Yeah, you were between jobs
and looking for a development position.
23
00:01:59,871 --> 00:02:01,205
So, bravo!
24
00:02:01,289 --> 00:02:02,874
No, that was a great night.
25
00:02:05,001 --> 00:02:07,629
Of course, there's no reason
why it couldn't be a woman.
26
00:02:07,712 --> 00:02:09,881
You know, everyone loves Betty White.
27
00:02:10,214 --> 00:02:11,799
Keith, we love you.
28
00:02:11,883 --> 00:02:12,967
We're huge fans.
29
00:02:13,426 --> 00:02:16,846
This is the studio that made
your Paradise Misplaced 15 years ago,
30
00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:19,807
- when Jenny over here was just an embryo.
31
00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:23,728
It's a fun idea, it's just not for us.
32
00:02:24,562 --> 00:02:30,735
We're looking more for edgy comedies
with a kick-ass-type woman.
33
00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:33,821
Now if you have something like that,
we'd love to hear it.
34
00:02:56,761 --> 00:02:59,806
You are a fantastic agent
as you have frequently told me.
35
00:02:59,889 --> 00:03:03,142
I just wanted to ask, do you think you could
possibly find me just...
36
00:03:03,226 --> 00:03:05,395
Just one job, you know? Just any job.
37
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:06,896
OK.
38
00:03:07,438 --> 00:03:08,773
There is something.
39
00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:10,191
You have to hear me out.
40
00:03:10,274 --> 00:03:11,609
If if pays, I'll take if.
41
00:03:12,110 --> 00:03:16,280
My brother-in-law is a chem professor at
Binghamton University in upstate New York,
42
00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:18,700
and they're looking for a writer in residence
this semester,
43
00:03:18,783 --> 00:03:21,536
cos the one they had died,
so I thought of you.
44
00:03:22,954 --> 00:03:25,540
You thought of me for a teaching job?
45
00:03:25,623 --> 00:03:28,042
Look, you're going
to teach a screenwriting class.
46
00:03:28,126 --> 00:03:30,586
You're going to take some time
to figure out your life
47
00:03:30,670 --> 00:03:31,754
and write something great.
48
00:03:31,838 --> 00:03:34,841
And they're going to give you a car,
a house, a salary.
49
00:03:34,924 --> 00:03:36,592
Yeah, a pitiful one I don't doubt.
50
00:03:36,676 --> 00:03:38,386
Well, it's a lot more than you're making now.
51
00:03:38,469 --> 00:03:41,389
Yeah, but I can't teach
and I hate teachers, you know.
52
00:03:41,472 --> 00:03:43,933
They're frustrated losers who haven't done
anything with their own lives
53
00:03:44,016 --> 00:03:45,309
so they want to instruct other people.
54
00:03:45,810 --> 00:03:49,689
Forget it,
I will just write my script on spec and...
55
00:03:54,193 --> 00:03:55,194
Keith?
56
00:03:57,488 --> 00:04:01,492
OK. Where exactly is Binghamton?
57
00:04:06,581 --> 00:04:10,960
The city of Binghamton
is 2, 754 miles from Los Ange/es
58
00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:14,213
and 172 miles northwest of New York City.
59
00:04:14,964 --> 00:04:16,758
IBM was founded there.
60
00:04:19,677 --> 00:04:22,054
Sir, is this your bag?
61
00:04:22,138 --> 00:04:24,015
- Yeah.
-Well, we have to check it.
62
00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:25,224
OK.
63
00:04:25,892 --> 00:04:29,395
Rod Serling, creator of Twilight Zone
grew up and was raised there.
64
00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:33,024
I admit there's a somewhat ominous quality
to that factoid.
65
00:04:37,028 --> 00:04:38,362
What is this?
66
00:04:38,988 --> 00:04:41,991
"Best Original Screenplay."
67
00:04:42,867 --> 00:04:45,536
Dude, you wrote Paradise Misplaced?
68
00:04:45,620 --> 00:04:47,121
I did. Yeah, yeah.
69
00:04:47,205 --> 00:04:48,956
That's such a great flick.
70
00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:51,000
- Thank you. Thanks very much.
71
00:04:51,083 --> 00:04:53,628
Yo, Kevin, Ali, come here.
72
00:04:54,629 --> 00:04:57,465
This is Keith Michaels.
He wrote Paradise Misplaced.
73
00:04:57,548 --> 00:04:58,841
- You wrote that?
-Yeah, yeah.
74
00:04:58,925 --> 00:05:00,218
A long time ago but I did, yeah.
75
00:05:00,301 --> 00:05:01,636
I love that movie, man.
76
00:05:01,719 --> 00:05:03,930
- My kids love that movie.
-Thank you, thank you, I appreciate it.
77
00:05:04,013 --> 00:05:05,765
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, too.
78
00:05:05,890 --> 00:05:06,933
Wow, look at this.
79
00:05:07,016 --> 00:05:09,310
I could have brought a bomb on board
and no one would have minded.
80
00:05:09,393 --> 00:05:10,728
Don't say that. That's not good.
81
00:05:13,439 --> 00:05:14,482
You're so right.
82
00:05:14,565 --> 00:05:15,900
I'm sorry. I apologise.
83
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,109
I used to know what was funny.
84
00:05:18,194 --> 00:05:19,487
Thank you. Thank you.
85
00:05:24,367 --> 00:05:26,828
Binghamton is also
the birthplace of the Spiedie,
86
00:05:26,911 --> 00:05:30,122
a sandwich consisting of cubes
of marinated beef, chicken, or pork
87
00:05:30,206 --> 00:05:31,916
grilled over a charcoal pit.
88
00:05:38,214 --> 00:05:42,426
Binghamton is amongst the top 10
most cloudy and rainy American cities.
89
00:05:43,678 --> 00:05:47,932
On the plus side, it is considered
"the carousel capital of the world".
90
00:05:51,102 --> 00:05:53,354
It has never been the site of a major riot.
91
00:05:54,605 --> 00:05:58,359
And from what I can tell so far,
it is the absolute end of civilisation.
92
00:05:59,110 --> 00:06:02,029
It's impossible to know what
anyone could have to teach here
93
00:06:02,113 --> 00:06:03,614
except "get out".
94
00:07:33,371 --> 00:07:34,747
Can I help you with something?
95
00:07:35,206 --> 00:07:38,417
Sorry. I'm just a bit jet-lagged.
96
00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:39,877
I just flew in from LA.
97
00:07:39,961 --> 00:07:41,921
- You came here from LA?
-Yeah. Yeah.
98
00:07:42,004 --> 00:07:44,090
I have come to teach at the college.
99
00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:47,051
- What are you teaching?
-Writing. Screenwriting.
100
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,386
You're Keith Michaels?
101
00:07:48,469 --> 00:07:51,180
I submitted a screenplay for that class.
102
00:07:51,263 --> 00:07:52,473
He wrote Paradise Misplaced.
103
00:07:52,556 --> 00:07:54,350
Are you kidding me?
104
00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:55,643
Come sit with us.
105
00:07:55,726 --> 00:07:57,228
No, I don't want to impose...
106
00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:59,897
Dude, you have to.
It's only my favourite movie of all time.
107
00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:02,858
OK, I will... I will obey.
108
00:08:04,235 --> 00:08:05,277
Thank you.
109
00:08:08,739 --> 00:08:10,825
I'm Karen. This is Judy and Chloe.
110
00:08:10,908 --> 00:08:13,285
Right. What are you all majoring in then?
111
00:08:13,369 --> 00:08:14,787
- I'm pre-med.
-Really?
112
00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:17,331
And where do you stand on full body scans?
113
00:08:17,415 --> 00:08:21,085
Would you say helpful or would you say
cancer-causing cash conduits?
114
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:23,379
- Well, I mean...
-Nice alliteration.
115
00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:24,505
I'm an English major.
116
00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:26,465
I thought I recognised a fellow sufferer.
117
00:08:27,258 --> 00:08:30,386
And Chloe is majoring in...
118
00:08:34,098 --> 00:08:35,516
Telepathy?
119
00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:37,309
I can't believe you wrote that movie.
120
00:08:37,393 --> 00:08:39,186
That's absolutely, truly cool.
121
00:08:39,270 --> 00:08:40,688
Nice assonance.
122
00:08:41,564 --> 00:08:44,775
- Assonance is the repetition of vowel sounds.
-Vowel sounds.
123
00:08:46,152 --> 00:08:48,320
Look at me. Teaching already.
124
00:08:48,946 --> 00:08:51,157
I really want to take your course.
125
00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:55,786
Well, that's good news.
I thought maybe no one would.
126
00:08:57,246 --> 00:08:58,289
Fantastic.
127
00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:41,332
--Henry, no. Sorry.
128
00:09:41,415 --> 00:09:43,334
Henry's not used to seeing people
in the house.
129
00:09:44,502 --> 00:09:45,544
I'm Jim.
130
00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:47,922
Hi, Jim.
131
00:09:48,297 --> 00:09:49,340
Hen“! -
132
00:09:53,302 --> 00:09:54,678
I've got to get ready for work.
133
00:09:55,179 --> 00:09:57,014
Right. No problem.
134
00:10:07,942 --> 00:10:08,943
Hey.
135
00:10:10,361 --> 00:10:12,279
Good morning.
136
00:10:13,322 --> 00:10:15,783
I unfortunately have to go.
137
00:10:15,866 --> 00:10:17,201
I'm supposed to meet
the head of the department.
138
00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:19,036
Dr Lerner. I had him for Chaucer.
139
00:10:19,745 --> 00:10:22,832
- When you say you "had him" for Chaucer...
140
00:10:22,915 --> 00:10:25,209
- This was really fun.
-Yeah.
141
00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:27,336
- See you later.
-Yeah.
142
00:10:31,006 --> 00:10:32,216
I like being a teacher.
143
00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:49,483
Harold Lerner. How was your trip?
144
00:10:49,567 --> 00:10:50,943
It was nice. Thank you.
145
00:10:51,026 --> 00:10:53,320
We could have had somebody meet you
at the airport.
146
00:10:53,404 --> 00:10:56,407
I'm sure one of our nerdier English majors
would have been happy to do that.
147
00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:57,616
No, no, that's fine.
148
00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:59,451
Although I have actually met
some of the students,
149
00:10:59,535 --> 00:11:01,620
and they're extremely generous
with their time.
150
00:11:01,704 --> 00:11:03,914
Sure, yeah, they're friendly.
Most of them are high.
151
00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:08,878
US Marine Corps.
I... I like to follow the rules.
152
00:11:08,961 --> 00:11:11,505
Well, Writers Guild of America.
I feel exactly the same.
153
00:11:11,589 --> 00:11:12,798
Excellent.
154
00:11:12,882 --> 00:11:15,050
Let me grab something
and I'll show you to your new digs.
155
00:11:15,134 --> 00:11:16,218
Yeah, yeah.
156
00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:24,935
Good use of their parents' tuition money.
157
00:11:30,191 --> 00:11:32,568
Well, here's your new home away from home.
158
00:11:34,445 --> 00:11:37,531
That's lovely. Yeah, thank you.
159
00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:42,953
There's a little faculty get-together
at 5:00 tonight in the Susquehanna Lounge.
160
00:11:43,037 --> 00:11:45,497
Give you a chance to meet
the rest of the department.
161
00:11:45,581 --> 00:11:46,999
Good. Great.
162
00:11:47,082 --> 00:11:49,710
- All right. Give me a call if you need anything.
-Yep, yep, yep-
163
00:11:49,793 --> 00:11:53,422
Thank you.
Dr Lerner, you forgot your box.
164
00:11:54,173 --> 00:11:55,549
I'm sorry, no. That's yours.
165
00:11:55,633 --> 00:11:58,969
That's the 30-page screenplays
submitted by all the students
166
00:11:59,053 --> 00:12:00,429
who wanna take your course.
167
00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:02,223
About 70 of them.
168
00:12:02,306 --> 00:12:03,724
And you teach day after tomorrow,
169
00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:06,101
so we're going to need your selections
right away.
170
00:12:06,185 --> 00:12:07,770
You only have to pick 10.
171
00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:09,063
We would have let you know sooner,
172
00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:12,274
but we didn't know you were
taking the job until a couple days ago.
173
00:12:13,067 --> 00:12:14,068
OK.
174
00:12:14,151 --> 00:12:15,569
- Happy reading.
-Yeah.
175
00:12:57,444 --> 00:13:00,155
Mr Michaels! Mr Michaels!
176
00:13:00,239 --> 00:13:01,448
Hi.
177
00:13:02,116 --> 00:13:03,158
Hi.
178
00:13:03,242 --> 00:13:05,744
I'm glad I caught you
before the faculty reception.
179
00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:07,037
I'm Holly Carpenter.
180
00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:10,541
Hello. Hello.
And what do you teach, Holly?
181
00:13:10,666 --> 00:13:14,962
What, teach? No, I don't teach.
I learn. I'm a sophomore.
182
00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:16,839
Really?
183
00:13:16,922 --> 00:13:20,301
You are? That's great. That's good.
It's wonderful going back to school at your...
184
00:13:20,384 --> 00:13:21,635
- Heig ht?
-Yes, exactly.
185
00:13:21,719 --> 00:13:23,053
I thought that's what you meant.
186
00:13:23,137 --> 00:13:24,805
It was, it was. We're very simpatico.
187
00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:26,724
Holly, listen, I'm a little late for this thing.
188
00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:29,143
Am I going the right way
to the Susquehanna Lounge?
189
00:13:29,226 --> 00:13:30,728
Yes, it's straight ahead.
190
00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:32,146
OK, great. Thank you.
191
00:13:32,229 --> 00:13:34,648
I'm actually a psych major.
192
00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:36,734
And, um...
193
00:13:36,817 --> 00:13:38,319
We have a lit requirement,
194
00:13:38,402 --> 00:13:43,157
and I've written short stories
and I've written poems. I love writing.
195
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:44,408
I have an idea for a screenplay,
196
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:47,286
I know the class submission deadline
was yesterday...
197
00:13:47,369 --> 00:13:51,498
But I stayed up last night and wrote this
and I hope that you would still consider me.
198
00:13:51,582 --> 00:13:53,083
Thank you. Thank you.
199
00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:56,045
I've got to tell you,
I love Paradise Misplaced.
200
00:13:56,128 --> 00:13:57,713
I still watch it with my girls.
201
00:13:57,796 --> 00:13:59,840
Your girls? Are you a lesbian?
202
00:14:00,424 --> 00:14:03,344
lwish. No, my daughters.
203
00:14:03,427 --> 00:14:04,511
Of course. Well, of course.
204
00:14:04,595 --> 00:14:07,264
Well, I hope you watch a DVD
and not one of those illegal web sites.
205
00:14:07,348 --> 00:14:09,767
I didn't know that was an option.
I'll have to check that out.
206
00:14:09,850 --> 00:14:14,313
A criminal. Now I will read this
with genuine interest.
207
00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:16,523
OK, thank you. Thank you.
208
00:14:16,607 --> 00:14:17,775
- Thank you.
-Yeah.
209
00:14:20,944 --> 00:14:22,571
- I hope you like it.
- Yeah.
210
00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:34,083
Thank you very much.
211
00:14:34,166 --> 00:14:36,627
- That is quite... Thank you. Yeah.
-You're welcome.
212
00:14:42,174 --> 00:14:44,885
Hi, Jim Harper.
213
00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:48,138
My dog, Henry IV, and I
were peering in your window this morning.
214
00:14:48,222 --> 00:14:50,391
Yes, wow. That was, that was...
That was unusual.
215
00:14:50,474 --> 00:14:53,060
- Yeah. Henry kind of walks me.
216
00:14:53,143 --> 00:14:55,187
Listen, I love your movie.
217
00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:56,438
Thank you very much, thank you.
218
00:14:56,522 --> 00:14:59,066
I've actually written three,
and a co-writing credit on another.
219
00:14:59,149 --> 00:15:02,736
Wow, I didn't know that. That's terrific.
Jeez, I wish I could do what you do.
220
00:15:02,820 --> 00:15:06,073
So do I. And what do you do, Jim?
221
00:15:06,156 --> 00:15:07,408
I teach Shakespeare.
222
00:15:07,491 --> 00:15:10,411
Excuse me. Keith, I'd like you to meet
some of our other English faculty.
223
00:15:10,494 --> 00:15:12,663
This is Ron Jenson, Medieval Literature.
224
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:15,082
Pleasure. I really love your movie.
225
00:15:15,165 --> 00:15:16,625
Thanks, the movies...
226
00:15:17,543 --> 00:15:20,170
Paul Prentiss, American Lit.
Great to have you here.
227
00:15:20,254 --> 00:15:21,255
Great, thanks a lot.
228
00:15:21,338 --> 00:15:24,800
- Hi, Naomi Watkins, African Literature.
-Nice to meet you, Naomi. I'm Keith.
229
00:15:24,883 --> 00:15:27,970
Clara Foss, fellow writer, resident poet.
Welcome aboard.
230
00:15:28,053 --> 00:15:30,264
Well, that didn't rhyme at all.
I doubt your credentials.
231
00:15:32,391 --> 00:15:35,185
And this is Professor Mary Weldon.
232
00:15:35,853 --> 00:15:38,856
Professor Weldon holds the Bainbridge Chair
in Comparative Literature
233
00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:41,400
and she's about to publish
what will prove to be
234
00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:43,527
the definitive work on Jane Austen.
235
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,028
I'm so sorry.
236
00:15:45,696 --> 00:15:46,947
You don't like Jane Austen?
237
00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:48,407
No, no, she's obviously brilliant.
238
00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:51,743
It's just I find it all a bit trivial, you know?
239
00:15:51,827 --> 00:15:54,371
Really? That's fascinating. How so?
240
00:15:54,455 --> 00:15:57,541
Well, isn't it all, you know,
"Who's going to the ball tonight?
241
00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,835
"My corset is askew. However will I curtsey?"
242
00:16:02,045 --> 00:16:03,297
I'd also like you to meet...
243
00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:05,424
In other words,
why should a 21st century man care
244
00:16:05,507 --> 00:16:07,676
about the obstacles facing
a 19th century woman?
245
00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:10,762
No, that makes me sound like a misogynist.
I love and respect women.
246
00:16:10,846 --> 00:16:12,139
As long as they're not writing.
247
00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:14,892
On the contrary,
there are myriad women writers I adore.
248
00:16:15,726 --> 00:16:17,769
- Can you name one?
-Elaine May.
249
00:16:18,854 --> 00:16:20,189
I'm not familiar with her work.
250
00:16:20,272 --> 00:16:24,443
She wrote A New Leaf, The Birdcage,
she did an uncredited rewrite on Tootsie.
251
00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:28,405
Movies?
252
00:16:28,489 --> 00:16:30,699
We're talking about literature.
253
00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:33,827
And while you may not think much
of the women writers of that period,
254
00:16:33,911 --> 00:16:36,038
Austen, Woolf, and the Bronte sisters
were artists
255
00:16:36,121 --> 00:16:39,082
who represented
the female empowerment of their age.
256
00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:40,459
Well, forgive me,
257
00:16:40,542 --> 00:16:43,003
but I'm just a little bit tired
of "female empowerment."
258
00:16:43,086 --> 00:16:45,172
Whoa! Battle stations.
259
00:16:46,340 --> 00:16:48,342
Dr Lerner, you must have an opinion on this?
260
00:16:48,425 --> 00:16:52,012
I have a wife and four daughters.
I have no opinions.
261
00:16:52,095 --> 00:16:55,015
What exactly is your opinion, Mr Michaels?
262
00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:57,726
- Another glass?
-Thank you so much, that's nice.
263
00:16:57,809 --> 00:17:01,605
It's just, honestly, everything seems to be
about female empowerment nowadays.
264
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:03,982
You know, any meeting I go to in Hollywood,
someone says,
265
00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:06,944
"You know what we need?
A kick-ass girl. That would be a great twist."
266
00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:08,862
Except every movie has a kick-ass girl.
267
00:17:08,946 --> 00:17:11,949
You know, some martial-arts,
CGI, slow-motion woman
268
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:14,660
who kicks the crap out of
every man in her path.
269
00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:17,663
Can I tell you what would be truly innovative?
270
00:17:17,746 --> 00:17:19,790
A movie without a kick-ass girl.
271
00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:23,168
Or, better yet, a movie where a woman
gets her ass kicked.
272
00:17:28,549 --> 00:17:30,133
Perhaps you'd like to kick mine.
273
00:17:30,634 --> 00:17:33,428
No, don't be silly. I didn't mean literally.
274
00:17:34,638 --> 00:17:36,515
Besides, not much of a target there.
275
00:17:37,516 --> 00:17:39,768
- Which I mean in a very nice way...
276
00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:41,186
Cos you are in great shape.
277
00:17:41,603 --> 00:17:42,938
You're... You're svelte.
278
00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:44,231
This...
279
00:17:44,314 --> 00:17:46,275
I'm sure you'd like to meet...
280
00:17:48,151 --> 00:17:49,152
Somebody.
281
00:17:59,788 --> 00:18:03,000
Hey. So this worked out great, right?
282
00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:05,711
Two of us living right next door to each other.
283
00:18:05,794 --> 00:18:07,629
- Yeah.
- I'll give you a lift in tomorrow.
284
00:18:07,713 --> 00:18:08,714
Thank you, Jim.
285
00:18:08,797 --> 00:18:11,425
You know, you're a lovely man
with an unusual dog...
286
00:18:11,508 --> 00:18:13,343
But I don't think I can do this.
287
00:18:13,427 --> 00:18:16,096
I actually miss LA,
and I didn't think that was possible.
288
00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:19,308
"O thou invisible spirit of wine,
289
00:18:19,391 --> 00:18:22,227
"if thou hast no name to be known by,
let us call thee devil!"
290
00:18:24,646 --> 00:18:25,772
When I was younger,
291
00:18:25,856 --> 00:18:28,317
I thought having the perfect
Shakespeare quote for any situation
292
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:29,526
would make me beloved.
293
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:31,320
It's surprisingly unhelpful.
294
00:18:31,403 --> 00:18:32,988
Yeah, it seems to really annoy people.
295
00:18:33,071 --> 00:18:35,699
--Sorry, hang on, hang on, hang on.
296
00:18:39,411 --> 00:18:42,164
I'm going to have to take this.
I think I can find my house from here.
297
00:18:42,247 --> 00:18:44,166
OK, sure, you go for it.
298
00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:46,043
- Listen though...
-Hang on one second.
299
00:18:46,126 --> 00:18:49,838
Give teaching a shot, OK?
It gets its hooks in you, you'll see.
300
00:18:49,921 --> 00:18:51,256
With all respect, I don't believe
301
00:18:51,340 --> 00:18:53,550
that anything worth knowing
can be taught in a classroom.
302
00:18:53,634 --> 00:18:57,304
And I intend to do as little as possible
while carrying on with this charade.
303
00:18:57,387 --> 00:19:00,057
Yeah, if I gave it any thought,
I'd probably feel the same way.
304
00:19:00,515 --> 00:19:01,475
Yeah, hi.
305
00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:04,019
Hi. I'm stuck in traffic,
I thought I'd check in. How's it going?
306
00:19:04,102 --> 00:19:07,147
I'm very, very, very, very cold, and,
307
00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:09,149
I have to read a huge box of scripts,
308
00:19:09,232 --> 00:19:12,861
and I just got into a fight with
Professor McGonagall about Jane Austen.
309
00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:15,364
You know,
it's interesting that you should bring that up.
310
00:19:15,447 --> 00:19:17,282
You know what J.K. Rowling said?
311
00:19:17,366 --> 00:19:19,201
"Where did I put that last billion dollars?"
312
00:19:20,077 --> 00:19:22,371
She said that failure was the best thing
that ever happened to her
313
00:19:22,454 --> 00:19:24,164
cos it freed her from the inessential.
314
00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:28,251
It allowed her to concentrate on the thing
that mattered most. Writing.
315
00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:31,505
Maybe the time has come for me to write
that sequel to Paradise Misplaced
316
00:19:31,588 --> 00:19:33,799
that you've been hounding me
for all these years.
317
00:19:33,882 --> 00:19:35,509
Hey, hey. I thought you weren't interested.
318
00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:38,178
You said the story was over,
and if I remember correctly,
319
00:19:38,261 --> 00:19:40,555
continuing it would be creative suicide.
320
00:19:40,639 --> 00:19:43,350
Yeah, well, that was when I was young
and believed in myself.
321
00:19:43,433 --> 00:19:45,060
So now is the perfect time.
322
00:20:27,269 --> 00:20:29,813
"Fl0 Bai."
323
00:20:31,648 --> 00:20:36,361
Hello, Flo. Congratulations
and welcome to the screenwriting class.
324
00:20:39,448 --> 00:20:40,615
"Dave Penman."
325
00:20:44,035 --> 00:20:47,372
You're a good-looking guy, Dave.
Get your own screenwriting class.
326
00:21:09,478 --> 00:21:10,520
Not even close.
327
00:21:41,676 --> 00:21:45,222
Hello. Good morning. I'm Keith Michaels.
328
00:21:46,848 --> 00:21:48,016
Thank you.
329
00:21:48,475 --> 00:21:50,060
Thanks very much. Thanks, yeah.
330
00:21:51,728 --> 00:21:52,729
Thank you.
331
00:21:52,813 --> 00:21:54,147
Well, now, um...
332
00:21:54,815 --> 00:21:57,484
Since it will be easier for me
to evaluate your material
333
00:21:57,567 --> 00:21:58,819
if I read an entire script,
334
00:21:58,902 --> 00:22:00,654
and you've all turned in 30 pages
335
00:22:00,737 --> 00:22:02,781
and the average screenplay is 120,
336
00:22:02,864 --> 00:22:04,533
that leaves roughly 90 to go.
337
00:22:04,950 --> 00:22:07,994
So if you write three pages a day,
six days a week,
338
00:22:08,078 --> 00:22:09,496
you should all be done in about a month.
339
00:22:09,579 --> 00:22:10,580
Let's meet again then.
340
00:22:10,914 --> 00:22:12,916
Great. Looking forward to it.
341
00:22:25,345 --> 00:22:28,849
Hey. That's the way all classes should be.
Five minutes.
342
00:22:28,932 --> 00:22:31,518
I had no intention of going that long,
I am so sorry.
343
00:22:31,601 --> 00:22:33,687
So maybe later,
do you want to catch up...
344
00:22:33,770 --> 00:22:36,022
Excuse me. Hi. Do you have a minute?
345
00:22:36,106 --> 00:22:37,691
Holly.
346
00:22:38,108 --> 00:22:40,819
Yes. I work at the Campus Bookstore.
347
00:22:43,321 --> 00:22:45,740
So, Holly, this is Karen.
348
00:22:45,824 --> 00:22:48,201
- Yeah, we've taken some classes together.
-Hi.
349
00:22:48,285 --> 00:22:49,911
So you didn't accept my screenplay
350
00:22:49,995 --> 00:22:52,622
but I was wondering if you could give me
some constructive criticism.
351
00:22:52,706 --> 00:22:54,249
I thought that
I could come during office hours.
352
00:22:54,624 --> 00:22:55,667
Yes. Yes.
353
00:22:55,750 --> 00:22:58,336
- I'll see you later, Mr Michaels.
- Karen.
354
00:23:01,965 --> 00:23:03,216
Hi. I'm still here.
355
00:23:03,300 --> 00:23:04,801
Yes. Yes, you are.
356
00:23:04,885 --> 00:23:06,595
Well the thing is, Holly...
357
00:23:06,678 --> 00:23:10,849
I'm not entirely sure that I have anything
very helpful to say regarding your screenplay.
358
00:23:10,932 --> 00:23:12,976
- That bad?
- No, not at all.
359
00:23:13,059 --> 00:23:15,687
It's just that I don't really believe
that writing can be taught.
360
00:23:15,770 --> 00:23:18,648
Interesting position
for a creative writing teacher to take.
361
00:23:18,732 --> 00:23:20,609
But true. You know, you can't teach talent.
362
00:23:20,692 --> 00:23:22,068
I think most people have talent,
363
00:23:22,152 --> 00:23:23,778
they just haven't been exposed
to the right teachers.
364
00:23:23,862 --> 00:23:24,863
I beg to differ.
365
00:23:24,946 --> 00:23:26,740
You can get me the best music teacher
in the world
366
00:23:26,823 --> 00:23:28,825
and I still wouldn't be able to write songs
like Paul McCartney.
367
00:23:28,909 --> 00:23:29,993
How do you know? Have you tried?
368
00:23:30,076 --> 00:23:31,077
No.
369
00:23:31,161 --> 00:23:33,413
- Do you want to write songs?
-Not at all.
370
00:23:33,914 --> 00:23:34,915
What are we talking about?
371
00:23:36,082 --> 00:23:40,795
About the fact that the most idiotic thing
that anyone has ever said
372
00:23:40,879 --> 00:23:43,298
is that if you just put your mind to it
and believe in yourself,
373
00:23:43,381 --> 00:23:45,050
there is nothing you can't accomplish.
374
00:23:45,133 --> 00:23:49,262
I say that! Does that make me an idiot?
375
00:23:49,346 --> 00:23:51,264
No, no, not you. Other people.
376
00:23:59,356 --> 00:24:01,566
How can I make my script better?
377
00:24:04,027 --> 00:24:06,863
Right, well, it could be more...
378
00:24:07,697 --> 00:24:09,115
Um, organised.
379
00:24:09,199 --> 00:24:11,242
"More organised" how?
380
00:24:12,285 --> 00:24:14,245
- Structurally.
- Structu rally.
381
00:24:14,871 --> 00:24:15,914
Yep.
382
00:24:16,873 --> 00:24:18,458
Yeah. Structu rally.
383
00:24:21,336 --> 00:24:23,463
Did you like that part
where she looks in the mirror
384
00:24:23,546 --> 00:24:25,131
and she sees herself as an old woman?
385
00:24:25,215 --> 00:24:27,592
Honestly, I found that a little heavy-handed.
386
00:24:27,676 --> 00:24:30,595
So did I.
Which is Why I didn't write it.
387
00:24:30,679 --> 00:24:32,973
You didn't read my screenplay, did you?
388
00:24:33,056 --> 00:24:36,101
No. But I didn't read anyone's screenplay,
don't take it personally.
389
00:24:36,184 --> 00:24:37,310
It's entirely personal.
390
00:24:37,394 --> 00:24:39,771
I worked on it and
I would like to tell this story.
391
00:24:39,854 --> 00:24:41,481
OK. You're in the class.
392
00:24:41,564 --> 00:24:43,984
No. I want you to read my script
and tell me if I have any potential.
393
00:24:45,151 --> 00:24:46,820
All right. I will read your screenplay.
394
00:24:47,195 --> 00:24:49,406
Thanks. I think.
395
00:24:50,907 --> 00:24:51,992
I'll let you eat in peace.
396
00:24:52,075 --> 00:24:54,619
Thank you, thank you.
It's a bit late for that.
397
00:25:00,917 --> 00:25:01,918
Keith.
398
00:25:02,585 --> 00:25:03,753
Dr Lerner.
399
00:25:04,379 --> 00:25:06,256
Interesting wine and cheese party last night.
400
00:25:06,339 --> 00:25:09,050
I am so sorry.
Honestly, I was nervous meeting everyone
401
00:25:09,134 --> 00:25:11,469
and you combine that
with the free-flowing wine
402
00:25:11,553 --> 00:25:13,763
and it is just a recipe for Austen-bashing.
403
00:25:14,264 --> 00:25:16,558
Mary's a pretty powerful presence
around here, you know?
404
00:25:16,641 --> 00:25:18,476
She's tenured, she's published.
405
00:25:19,060 --> 00:25:20,937
She's also head of the Ethics Committee
406
00:25:21,354 --> 00:25:23,231
which means
she can make your life miserable.
407
00:25:24,441 --> 00:25:25,483
Even get you fired.
408
00:25:26,317 --> 00:25:28,903
She wants me fired? Already?
409
00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:30,530
She's not happy.
410
00:25:30,613 --> 00:25:33,366
She did use words in her email to me
like "harassment".
411
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:35,201
That's a very bad word.
412
00:25:35,577 --> 00:25:37,954
Yes, it is indeed. Here, walk with me.
413
00:25:38,788 --> 00:25:43,209
Listen, I know you're a big Hollywood guy,
obviously you don't need this job.
414
00:25:43,293 --> 00:25:45,879
Well, I wouldn't want to
let the students down, you know.
415
00:25:46,212 --> 00:25:49,883
Well, then I'm afraid
you're going to have to kiss her svelte ass.
416
00:25:50,592 --> 00:25:51,885
That sounds difficult.
417
00:25:51,968 --> 00:25:54,220
I couldn't do it. And I was in Desert Storm.
418
00:25:55,221 --> 00:25:57,974
Should I bring her a gift of appeasement,
you know?
419
00:25:58,058 --> 00:25:59,225
What does she like?
420
00:25:59,642 --> 00:26:00,935
Jane Austen.
421
00:26:34,844 --> 00:26:38,223
And the award
for Best Original Screenplay goes to...
422
00:26:39,432 --> 00:26:42,477
Keith Michaels for Paradise Misplaced.
423
00:26:46,064 --> 00:26:47,065
This is...
424
00:26:47,690 --> 00:26:51,194
Well, it's tragic
how much I'm enjoying getting this.
425
00:26:54,155 --> 00:26:57,200
And it's with tremendous ill-grace, um,
426
00:26:58,034 --> 00:27:02,413
that I grudgingly acknowledge
the contribution of a few other people.
427
00:27:04,374 --> 00:27:09,212
Our brilliant director, Niles Kelling,
my very loud agent, Ellen Klein.
428
00:27:10,130 --> 00:27:13,508
My beautiful wife, Tina,
who, frankly, could do much better.
429
00:27:14,425 --> 00:27:18,054
And our son, Alex, who I can honestly say
430
00:27:18,138 --> 00:27:21,057
is the only thing
I've ever had a hand in producing
431
00:27:21,141 --> 00:27:23,393
- not desperately in need of a rewrite.
432
00:27:23,476 --> 00:27:26,521
So, cheers, Alex, and go to bed.
433
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:30,483
Thank you.
434
00:28:21,326 --> 00:28:25,163
I'm not interested in your feelings
about Persuasion, Miss Stein-Rosen,
435
00:28:25,246 --> 00:28:26,623
or anything else for that matter.
436
00:28:26,706 --> 00:28:29,876
I am interested in a well-thought out analysis
437
00:28:29,959 --> 00:28:34,714
corroborated with evidence from the text
and only the text. Not Wikipedia.
438
00:28:34,797 --> 00:28:36,799
That's what I thought I was doing.
439
00:28:36,883 --> 00:28:38,343
What you thought
you were doing is irrelevant.
440
00:28:38,426 --> 00:28:42,805
What you have done or in this case,
not done, is what counts.
441
00:28:43,306 --> 00:28:45,016
Can I do some kind of extra credit?
442
00:28:45,099 --> 00:28:46,809
Like Habitat for Humanity?
443
00:28:48,228 --> 00:28:49,229
Who is it?
444
00:28:52,273 --> 00:28:54,400
Hello. Am I interrupting?
445
00:28:54,484 --> 00:28:56,527
I'm having office hours, Mr Michaels.
446
00:28:56,611 --> 00:28:57,904
OK.
447
00:28:57,987 --> 00:29:00,573
Hi, Mr Michaels.
I'm in your screenwriting class.
448
00:29:00,657 --> 00:29:01,908
Andrea Stan-Rosary.
449
00:29:01,991 --> 00:29:03,952
Yes, yes. Andrea.
450
00:29:04,035 --> 00:29:06,663
Great Neck High School.
Likes Adele and Pinkberry.
451
00:29:06,746 --> 00:29:07,747
Yeah.
452
00:29:08,498 --> 00:29:09,457
I can come back.
453
00:29:09,540 --> 00:29:12,001
No, I think we're done.
Right? Are we done?
454
00:29:12,252 --> 00:29:13,419
Ten minutes ago.
455
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:17,173
Nice to see you.
456
00:29:18,675 --> 00:29:19,801
Good morning.
457
00:29:22,136 --> 00:29:25,765
it could be said that we got off to a poor start
at the wine and cheese event.
458
00:29:25,848 --> 00:29:27,183
"We" did?
459
00:29:27,725 --> 00:29:28,977
I did. I did.
460
00:29:29,060 --> 00:29:31,229
Bit too much wine, not quite enough cheese.
461
00:29:31,312 --> 00:29:34,691
Which is why I brought these
few small peace offerings.
462
00:29:35,149 --> 00:29:38,236
These are DVDs of every Jane Austen novel
463
00:29:38,319 --> 00:29:41,239
including my favourite,
Clueless with Alicia Silverstone.
464
00:29:41,322 --> 00:29:42,490
What is Clueless?
465
00:29:42,573 --> 00:29:44,450
I think you'll like it. It's based on Emma.
466
00:29:44,534 --> 00:29:46,995
Bit hit.
Spun off into a mildly successful series.
467
00:29:47,078 --> 00:29:52,625
Also, a gift certificate from Amazon
covering all the following items.
468
00:29:52,709 --> 00:29:55,712
My personal favourite is
the "What Would Jane Do?" tote bag.
469
00:29:57,714 --> 00:29:59,215
Mr Michaels...
470
00:29:59,841 --> 00:30:00,842
Thank you.
471
00:30:01,968 --> 00:30:05,346
This is the finest public university
in the Northeast.
472
00:30:05,430 --> 00:30:06,472
Yes. I understand.
473
00:30:06,556 --> 00:30:10,018
We expect a degree of professionalism
even from a non-professional.
474
00:30:10,101 --> 00:30:11,227
Yes, of course.
475
00:30:11,311 --> 00:30:14,439
Which means
that you behave at faculty events.
476
00:30:14,522 --> 00:30:16,649
You read the material
that has been submitted to you.
477
00:30:16,733 --> 00:30:19,068
You do not dismiss your class for a month.
478
00:30:19,193 --> 00:30:21,321
Yes, I heard about that.
479
00:30:21,738 --> 00:30:24,991
But I want to be fair,
and act without pride or prejudice,
480
00:30:25,074 --> 00:30:26,284
if you'll forgive the reference...
481
00:30:26,367 --> 00:30:28,619
No, I very much enjoyed it. It was good.
482
00:30:28,745 --> 00:30:32,332
So I'll give you one more opportunity
to conduct yourself like a teacher.
483
00:30:32,415 --> 00:30:35,293
Absolutely.
I will watch Dead Poets Society to prepare.
484
00:30:36,794 --> 00:30:39,130
It's a film. It's about teaching, um...
485
00:30:39,213 --> 00:30:41,758
I'll get to it right after... Clueless.
486
00:30:42,508 --> 00:30:44,093
- Clueless? Great.
-Yes.
487
00:31:04,364 --> 00:31:05,365
Good afternoon.
488
00:31:07,116 --> 00:31:09,369
- Mr Michaels.
- Please, call me Keith.
489
00:31:09,452 --> 00:31:11,537
Sorry, my youngest was throwing up all night.
490
00:31:11,621 --> 00:31:13,289
- Had she been drinking?
491
00:31:13,915 --> 00:31:16,959
She's nine. But maybe,
I'm a really permissive mother.
492
00:31:18,544 --> 00:31:19,545
How can I help you?
493
00:31:19,629 --> 00:31:21,672
Well, by thanking me for reading your script.
494
00:31:21,756 --> 00:31:23,716
- Really?
-You want to test me?
495
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:25,259
It is called Local Girl,
496
00:31:25,343 --> 00:31:28,429
and it is about
a perky Binghamton lass called Peggy,
497
00:31:28,930 --> 00:31:32,892
who dreams big dreams about being a dancer
and is attracted to the wrong boys
498
00:31:32,975 --> 00:31:34,727
and her father is a police officer
499
00:31:34,811 --> 00:31:37,355
and her mother is a beautician
and opera singer.
500
00:31:37,438 --> 00:31:39,774
Wow, you really did read it.
501
00:31:39,857 --> 00:31:42,527
So, what did you think?
502
00:31:43,027 --> 00:31:46,030
I think that
your characters are quite interesting,
503
00:31:46,114 --> 00:31:48,324
but that it's a little randomly structured.
504
00:31:48,408 --> 00:31:51,661
Anyway, I have sent an email telling everyone
that we have class today
505
00:31:51,744 --> 00:31:52,870
and I would like you to attend.
506
00:31:53,538 --> 00:31:55,498
Great.
507
00:31:56,207 --> 00:31:57,375
Congratulations.
508
00:31:58,418 --> 00:32:00,002
I just have a question.
509
00:32:00,086 --> 00:32:01,337
I would expect no less.
510
00:32:01,421 --> 00:32:05,591
If you don't believe writing can be taught,
what are we going to be doing in class?
511
00:32:06,300 --> 00:32:07,760
Well, we're going to...
512
00:32:24,694 --> 00:32:26,654
So...
513
00:32:29,615 --> 00:32:32,368
Why don't we deal with attendance,
you know?
514
00:32:32,452 --> 00:32:34,662
Get that out of the way.
515
00:32:37,874 --> 00:32:39,959
Rachel Anslow.
Now am I pronouncing that right?
516
00:32:40,042 --> 00:32:42,086
Is that "Ans-low" or is it "An-slow"?
517
00:32:42,670 --> 00:32:43,671
"Ans-low."
518
00:32:44,172 --> 00:32:45,465
Sorry, I didn't quite catch that.
519
00:32:45,548 --> 00:32:46,632
"Ans-low!"
520
00:32:46,716 --> 00:32:49,051
OK. OK, OK. That's fine. Tick.
521
00:32:49,677 --> 00:32:50,678
Um...
522
00:32:50,761 --> 00:32:54,932
And another tricky one.
Flo Bai? Or should I say "bay", "bai"?
523
00:32:55,516 --> 00:32:57,477
It's "bay". But I could go either way.
524
00:32:57,560 --> 00:32:59,187
Good. I appreciate your flexibility.
525
00:32:59,562 --> 00:33:03,733
Could be either, or indeed, "eye-ther".
526
00:33:04,567 --> 00:33:05,735
Let's call the whole thing off.
527
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:09,947
I'm sorry, Miss Stein-Rosen,
but you will have to wait for the "S's".
528
00:33:10,072 --> 00:33:12,909
Or is it the "R's"? Um, interesting question.
529
00:33:12,992 --> 00:33:15,745
I was just going to say,
I think everyone is here.
530
00:33:15,828 --> 00:33:19,916
There were 10 of us last time,
there's 10 today, plus...
531
00:33:20,333 --> 00:33:21,667
Yes, yes, Yes-
532
00:33:21,751 --> 00:33:24,962
Everyone, welcome the new student
to our class. Holly Carpenter.
533
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:28,132
Holly, perhaps you'd like to tell us
a little bit about yourself.
534
00:33:28,591 --> 00:33:31,219
No, I'm good, good.
Thanks, thanks for asking.
535
00:33:31,844 --> 00:33:33,012
I see.
536
00:33:36,349 --> 00:33:38,434
So, the consensus is that
we're all here, yeah?
537
00:33:38,643 --> 00:33:39,644
Yeah.
538
00:33:39,769 --> 00:33:42,730
All right, all right, if you think so.
Seems a little rash to me, but...
539
00:33:49,612 --> 00:33:50,780
Mr Michaels?
540
00:33:50,905 --> 00:33:53,658
Maybe you could tell us a little bit about
541
00:33:53,783 --> 00:33:57,745
why you decided to come
to Binghamton and teach?
542
00:33:58,913 --> 00:34:01,332
I certainly could, Miss Carpenter.
543
00:34:03,918 --> 00:34:05,044
The truth is that...
544
00:34:05,503 --> 00:34:06,504
L.-
545
00:34:09,549 --> 00:34:12,843
The truth is that I'm going
to be writing a movie
546
00:34:13,302 --> 00:34:15,846
- about a teacher and this is all research.
547
00:34:16,264 --> 00:34:17,265
Who's going to be in it?
548
00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:19,642
I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to discuss that.
549
00:34:19,767 --> 00:34:21,394
You know, Matt hasn't committed yet...
550
00:34:21,811 --> 00:34:24,021
Matt Damon? My God!
551
00:34:24,272 --> 00:34:25,565
- My God!
- I did not say that, no.
552
00:34:25,648 --> 00:34:27,024
No, the point is that, you know,
553
00:34:27,108 --> 00:34:30,361
I have to learn who my protagonist really...
554
00:34:30,528 --> 00:34:32,446
Protagonist, protagonist, protagonist.
555
00:34:32,863 --> 00:34:37,577
Pro-tag-on-nist
556
00:34:37,660 --> 00:34:38,911
is all about, you know,
557
00:34:39,078 --> 00:34:43,082
what he aspires to be,
what goal he wishes to achieve.
558
00:34:44,166 --> 00:34:47,336
You mean like how in A New Hope,
Luke wants to become a Jedi Knight?
559
00:34:47,837 --> 00:34:49,213
Yeah, perfect example, Mr...
560
00:34:49,297 --> 00:34:50,923
Frazier. Billy Frazier.
561
00:34:51,007 --> 00:34:52,341
Yeah. Billy, good, yes.
562
00:34:52,925 --> 00:34:55,720
A goal has been established and
the story consists of trying to overcome
563
00:34:55,803 --> 00:34:57,221
the obstacles in the way of that goal.
564
00:34:59,390 --> 00:35:01,475
Feel free to write that down.
565
00:35:02,310 --> 00:35:05,438
And, I bet that if you all thought
of your favourite movie
566
00:35:05,521 --> 00:35:09,525
you could identify the hero or heroine
and what their goal was.
567
00:35:10,693 --> 00:35:12,028
Dirty Dancing.
568
00:35:12,111 --> 00:35:14,697
Are you serious? That's not even a movie.
569
00:35:14,780 --> 00:35:18,200
It's a wack Cinderella fantasy
that's totally devoid of reality.
570
00:35:21,537 --> 00:35:22,622
Just excuse me one second.
571
00:35:22,705 --> 00:35:24,582
You know, Hollywood never rests.
572
00:35:24,665 --> 00:35:26,667
- Yeah, hi.
- Hey. Are you OK?
573
00:35:27,209 --> 00:35:29,045
You sounded like you were going to kill
yourself last night.
574
00:35:29,128 --> 00:35:31,297
I was, but it was far too cold and rainy.
575
00:35:31,380 --> 00:35:33,257
Listen, I am actually teaching at the moment.
576
00:35:33,424 --> 00:35:36,093
OK, good, good. Well, I'm just checking in.
577
00:35:36,177 --> 00:35:38,179
You hang in there
and I'll talk to you soon, OK?
578
00:35:38,262 --> 00:35:40,264
Yeah, I will do, will do.
579
00:35:40,348 --> 00:35:41,974
And just one other thing.
580
00:35:42,058 --> 00:35:43,100
Um...
581
00:35:43,184 --> 00:35:45,478
Tell them if Matt wants a meeting
he's going to have to come here.
582
00:35:45,561 --> 00:35:46,979
Matt? Who is Matt?
583
00:35:47,063 --> 00:35:48,981
Because, you know, there's always Ryan.
584
00:35:49,065 --> 00:35:51,359
Gosling or Reynolds?
585
00:35:51,442 --> 00:35:54,111
- OK. Talk to you soon. Yeah, ciao.
-Ciao.
586
00:35:54,195 --> 00:35:56,822
I'm so sorry about that.
They never leave me alone.
587
00:35:57,239 --> 00:35:59,325
So, any other favourite movies?
588
00:36:12,046 --> 00:36:13,047
Hey.
589
00:36:13,714 --> 00:36:15,466
You made it through. Sort of.
590
00:36:15,549 --> 00:36:18,344
I couldn't have done it without your probing
and annoying question.
591
00:36:18,427 --> 00:36:19,595
I'm always here for you.
592
00:36:21,263 --> 00:36:22,431
Mr Ronson.
593
00:36:23,015 --> 00:36:25,059
Your pages were excellent.
594
00:36:26,018 --> 00:36:27,395
- Really?
-Yeah.
595
00:36:27,478 --> 00:36:28,646
Thanks, Mr Michaels.
596
00:36:29,105 --> 00:36:30,523
Sorry.
597
00:36:31,941 --> 00:36:33,901
I think I might be coming down
with something.
598
00:36:33,984 --> 00:36:35,861
Do you have any idea
where you might be going with the story?
599
00:36:36,278 --> 00:36:37,279
Um...
600
00:36:37,405 --> 00:36:39,490
Yes. I have more pages.
601
00:36:40,783 --> 00:36:41,867
All of them, actually.
602
00:36:42,368 --> 00:36:44,120
Sorry, why did you only hand in 30?
603
00:36:44,954 --> 00:36:48,290
That's all they asked for.
I didn't want to impose.
604
00:36:49,625 --> 00:36:52,628
Well, I'd love to see the rest,
if and when you're comfortable sending them.
605
00:36:53,754 --> 00:36:55,005
And assuming you live that long.
606
00:36:59,969 --> 00:37:01,303
Dismissed.
607
00:37:09,311 --> 00:37:11,188
Henry, let go.
608
00:37:12,398 --> 00:37:13,649
It's garbage.
609
00:37:19,488 --> 00:37:21,240
- Evening, Jim.
-Evening.
610
00:37:21,741 --> 00:37:24,410
- Henry, how are you?
-Hey, boy.
611
00:37:26,245 --> 00:37:28,956
You know, Karen,
I want to have a quick chat with Jim
612
00:37:29,039 --> 00:37:32,460
about the correct schedule
for garbage pickups for a moment,
613
00:37:32,543 --> 00:37:36,338
-so why don't you go on in and I'll catch up.
-OK.
614
00:37:36,797 --> 00:37:39,008
OK, don't be too long. You want it hot.
615
00:37:39,550 --> 00:37:40,718
Take care, Professor Harper.
616
00:37:41,260 --> 00:37:42,636
I'll put on some music.
617
00:37:44,180 --> 00:37:46,015
OK, all right, Henry.
618
00:37:46,265 --> 00:37:47,516
Quiet, Henry.
619
00:37:49,435 --> 00:37:52,563
Sorry about Henry here.
I think he's why my wife left me.
620
00:37:53,856 --> 00:37:55,691
Your wife? I didn't realise you were married.
621
00:37:55,775 --> 00:38:01,906
Yeah. She's with some visiting professor
in the Physics Department.
622
00:38:01,989 --> 00:38:06,494
One of the guys that helped discover
that whole Higgs boson thing.
623
00:38:06,577 --> 00:38:08,037
The glue to the universe.
624
00:38:09,121 --> 00:38:10,414
She's impressed with that kind of stuff.
625
00:38:13,876 --> 00:38:15,544
Listen, um...
626
00:38:16,462 --> 00:38:17,880
About Karen...
627
00:38:17,963 --> 00:38:19,256
You know, we've been spending
some time together.
628
00:38:20,424 --> 00:38:22,259
Yeah, I think I may have seen that.
629
00:38:22,426 --> 00:38:23,427
Right.
630
00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:25,638
You know, she's been very welcoming,
very friendly.
631
00:38:25,721 --> 00:38:28,015
- Lot of school spirit.
- Right, right.
632
00:38:28,098 --> 00:38:31,310
And she's actually also taking my course.
633
00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:33,687
OK. I gotcha.
634
00:38:33,771 --> 00:38:36,440
Right. So I was just wondering
if there's any kind of, you know,
635
00:38:36,524 --> 00:38:39,276
university policy or official position
on that kind of thing.
636
00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:41,195
Yeah, it's totally against the rules.
637
00:38:41,487 --> 00:38:42,988
- Is that right?
-Yeah, no, big time.
638
00:38:43,072 --> 00:38:44,865
People get fired for that.
639
00:38:46,075 --> 00:38:48,077
Wow, I didn't realise, so...
640
00:38:48,661 --> 00:38:50,329
Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me.
641
00:38:50,412 --> 00:38:51,580
- Thank you very much, Jim.
-Sure.
642
00:38:54,750 --> 00:38:56,418
- Gentlemen.
- Well, hey.
643
00:38:56,752 --> 00:38:59,380
Just coming back from a grocery run.
What are we talking about?
644
00:39:01,757 --> 00:39:06,428
I was just trying to remember
which Shakespeare play, the line
645
00:39:06,512 --> 00:39:09,682
"Tomorrow and tomorrow,
creeps in this petty pace" comes from
646
00:39:09,765 --> 00:39:11,433
and Jim was assisting me.
647
00:39:12,017 --> 00:39:13,686
Macbeth. Act V, Scene V.
648
00:39:13,769 --> 00:39:15,771
- Very impressive, very impressive.
-Wow.
649
00:39:16,021 --> 00:39:18,315
- That is why he's Department Chairman.
-Right.
650
00:39:18,399 --> 00:39:19,692
Actually, I'm Department Chairman
651
00:39:19,775 --> 00:39:21,944
because it pays more
and I have four daughters
652
00:39:22,027 --> 00:39:24,697
who spend so much time at the mall,
the mannequins call them by name.
653
00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:27,533
Wow. So it's just you in the house
with five women?
654
00:39:27,616 --> 00:39:29,702
Yup. Me and the girls.
655
00:39:36,375 --> 00:39:38,794
Well, I'm going to go and brush up
on my classics,
656
00:39:38,878 --> 00:39:40,212
so I will see you gentlemen later.
657
00:39:40,296 --> 00:39:43,048
And, I'm just going to go ahead
and walk my friend here.
658
00:39:43,132 --> 00:39:44,633
"Once more unto the breach".
659
00:39:55,811 --> 00:39:57,479
Thank you. Here you are.
660
00:40:01,066 --> 00:40:02,651
Good timing. Last umbrella.
661
00:40:02,735 --> 00:40:04,778
Yeah, I'm quite excited.
I haven't actually owned one of these
662
00:40:04,862 --> 00:40:06,906
since I left England about 100 years ago.
663
00:40:06,989 --> 00:40:09,283
But your horrendous weather
has forced my hand.
664
00:40:09,366 --> 00:40:11,243
No, you're looking at it all the wrong way.
665
00:40:11,327 --> 00:40:14,455
First of all, think about how much
you save in suntan lotion.
666
00:40:14,747 --> 00:40:16,624
Yes, I see that. And sunglasses.
667
00:40:16,707 --> 00:40:17,708
And convertibles.
668
00:40:17,791 --> 00:40:20,210
And bikinis.
I'm now very glad I did not bring mine.
669
00:40:20,294 --> 00:40:21,587
I can lend you one when it gets sunny.
670
00:40:21,670 --> 00:40:23,797
You're saying there actually
will be a sunny day?
671
00:40:23,881 --> 00:40:27,051
Yeah.
It gets sunny, and it is worth the wait.
672
00:40:27,134 --> 00:40:29,011
The lawn is filled with Frisbees and guitars.
673
00:40:29,094 --> 00:40:31,931
Professors teach outside
and it's just, you just...
674
00:40:32,014 --> 00:40:36,769
You soak it all in, you absorb it,
like the best scoop of ice cream you ever had.
675
00:40:37,019 --> 00:40:38,312
What a sad, pathetic story.
676
00:40:38,854 --> 00:40:39,855
Too randomly structured?
677
00:40:39,939 --> 00:40:41,273
Bit cliché.
678
00:40:41,357 --> 00:40:43,525
Saying "a bit cliché" is a bit cliché.
679
00:40:43,943 --> 00:40:48,197
Mark Twain said that, "The difference between
the almost right word and the right word
680
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:50,157
"was the difference between
the lightning bug and lightning."
681
00:40:50,240 --> 00:40:52,242
I love it.
This is the kind of stuff I want to learn.
682
00:40:52,326 --> 00:40:54,119
Yes, and this is exactly
what can't be taught, so...
683
00:40:54,203 --> 00:40:55,579
I know, I know. No one can learn anything.
684
00:40:55,663 --> 00:40:57,831
It's all set in stone, let's just all kill ourselves.
685
00:40:59,375 --> 00:41:00,668
This is what I'm talking about.
686
00:41:05,631 --> 00:41:07,341
Late Bloomers.
687
00:41:07,424 --> 00:41:10,135
Looks like one of those Victorian plays
where many people say, "arse".
688
00:41:10,219 --> 00:41:13,555
Well, it is about people who find
their true talents later in life.
689
00:41:14,515 --> 00:41:16,600
Sylvester Stallone,
he was a deli counter attendant.
690
00:41:17,476 --> 00:41:21,105
Rodney Dangerfield gave up selling
aluminium siding to go on to become
691
00:41:21,188 --> 00:41:23,983
-one of the most famous comedians ever.
-Yeah?
692
00:41:24,066 --> 00:41:25,985
Alan Rickman, a fellow countryman,
693
00:41:26,068 --> 00:41:28,320
didn't get a movie role until he was 48.
694
00:41:28,404 --> 00:41:30,656
- Wow.
-Susan Boyle was 46.
695
00:41:30,739 --> 00:41:34,994
Laura lngalls Wilder didn't write Little House
on the Prairie until she was 65.
696
00:41:35,411 --> 00:41:36,578
Incredible. And look at that.
697
00:41:36,662 --> 00:41:38,914
Jesus didn't give up carpentry
until he was 30.
698
00:41:39,248 --> 00:41:41,917
Yeah, and now he's,
like, a top guy in his field.
699
00:41:42,334 --> 00:41:46,171
The thing is, you see, I would argue
late bloomers may have had talent all along.
700
00:41:46,255 --> 00:41:48,090
It was just unrecognised. There's a difference.
701
00:41:48,549 --> 00:41:51,093
I disagree. I think it's just about focusing.
702
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:52,761
Right.
703
00:41:54,346 --> 00:41:55,764
I wish you'd focused on my umbrella.
704
00:41:56,098 --> 00:41:58,225
It's a good thing
I don't work on commission.
705
00:42:02,438 --> 00:42:03,522
Hat?
706
00:42:04,231 --> 00:42:05,232
Yes, all right.
707
00:42:19,955 --> 00:42:21,623
Yeah, come in.
708
00:42:24,126 --> 00:42:25,544
Clem, hello.
709
00:42:26,795 --> 00:42:29,798
- Are you all right?
-I noticed this discolouration on my arm.
710
00:42:29,882 --> 00:42:33,385
I thought it was the flesh-eating virus,
but the infirmary says it's just a dry patch.
711
00:42:33,719 --> 00:42:34,970
Well, better luck next time.
712
00:42:35,721 --> 00:42:36,722
But the good news is,
713
00:42:36,805 --> 00:42:39,516
I have now finished
your completed script, and...
714
00:42:40,934 --> 00:42:41,935
It's brilliant.
715
00:42:42,144 --> 00:42:43,228
- Wow, really?
-Yeah.
716
00:42:43,312 --> 00:42:45,564
It's unbelievable. It's annoying, actually.
Have you always written?
717
00:42:45,647 --> 00:42:48,067
Pretty much. Especially in high school.
718
00:42:48,150 --> 00:42:50,235
It gave me something to do
in between getting beaten up.
719
00:42:50,527 --> 00:42:53,155
Yeah well, most good writers spend
a lot of their time getting beaten up.
720
00:42:53,405 --> 00:42:55,240
And I'll tell you something wonderful
about Hollywood.
721
00:42:55,324 --> 00:42:56,575
Nerds can rule.
722
00:42:57,409 --> 00:42:58,619
Not that you're a nerd, I mean...
723
00:42:58,702 --> 00:43:01,246
Are you kidding? I aspire to nerd.
724
00:43:01,330 --> 00:43:05,250
OK, so, what I'd like to do
is just give you my few, inane notes
725
00:43:05,334 --> 00:43:08,587
which if you've seen my last few movies,
you will know to ignore
726
00:43:08,670 --> 00:43:11,548
and then, I'd like to show this to my agent.
727
00:43:12,174 --> 00:43:14,802
Are you kidding? Thank you.
728
00:43:18,347 --> 00:43:21,391
I don't have a Kleenex, but I have this.
729
00:43:21,475 --> 00:43:22,518
It's as good as.
730
00:43:22,935 --> 00:43:24,478
ANDREA".
Let's ask the Rabbi what he thinks.
731
00:43:25,062 --> 00:43:27,481
Suddenly, they see Rabbi Stein
eat some food.
732
00:43:27,564 --> 00:43:30,359
Alicia says, "No, he's allergic to nuts!"
733
00:43:30,692 --> 00:43:32,736
And the Rabbi grabs for his heart.
734
00:43:33,612 --> 00:43:35,155
End of Act 1.
735
00:43:35,697 --> 00:43:37,366
It's completely contrived.
736
00:43:37,449 --> 00:43:40,828
Your lead character resembles no one
who's ever walked the planet.
737
00:43:41,495 --> 00:43:42,621
She's based on me.
738
00:43:43,038 --> 00:43:44,623
Maybe you need a villain.
739
00:43:44,706 --> 00:43:47,918
He could wear a mask that covers his face.
You could hear his breathing.
740
00:43:48,460 --> 00:43:50,212
I thought it had some really nice touches.
741
00:43:50,546 --> 00:43:52,089
Me too. I really enjoyed it.
742
00:43:52,297 --> 00:43:53,340
Very quick read.
743
00:43:53,549 --> 00:43:56,593
You start with two pages describing clouds.
744
00:43:56,677 --> 00:43:58,804
If it was a movie about a meteorologist, fine,
745
00:43:58,887 --> 00:44:01,390
but it's a story about
a Bat Mitzvah gone wrong.
746
00:44:01,598 --> 00:44:03,308
Ok, Andrea, good.
747
00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:05,435
Let me just ask you this question. Sit down.
748
00:44:06,687 --> 00:44:07,771
Why did you write this?
749
00:44:08,647 --> 00:44:09,731
- What do you mean?
- Well,
750
00:44:09,815 --> 00:44:12,317
what was the thing that made you
want to write this story?
751
00:44:13,569 --> 00:44:15,070
- I don't know.
- OK.
752
00:44:15,404 --> 00:44:17,364
Your favourite film, Dirty Dancing,
what's that about?
753
00:44:17,447 --> 00:44:19,575
A girl who learns to dance and falls in love.
754
00:44:19,658 --> 00:44:21,702
Yes. But isn't it about more than that?
755
00:44:22,077 --> 00:44:24,246
Isn't it about a girl named Baby
756
00:44:24,329 --> 00:44:26,790
who discovers that she is in fact
becoming a woman?
757
00:44:26,874 --> 00:44:28,417
Isn't it about lost innocence?
758
00:44:28,876 --> 00:44:30,043
Yes, I guess so.
759
00:44:30,127 --> 00:44:33,338
See, the thing is, writing a movie is so hard,
760
00:44:33,422 --> 00:44:35,382
it's like jumping into the sea.
761
00:44:35,465 --> 00:44:36,675
And you need a life raft.
762
00:44:36,758 --> 00:44:39,511
And that raft is the impulse behind the movie.
763
00:44:39,595 --> 00:44:42,181
It's the thing that made you want to
write the story in the first place.
764
00:44:42,264 --> 00:44:44,933
You've got to figure that out
and then cling on for dear life.
765
00:44:45,767 --> 00:44:47,644
So why did you write Paradise Misplaced?
766
00:44:48,103 --> 00:44:51,064
- We don't want to talk about my stuff.
- Yeah, why did you tell that story,
767
00:44:51,148 --> 00:44:52,274
- Mr Michaels?
-How did you come up with that?
768
00:44:52,441 --> 00:44:54,776
- Yeah, what was your life raft?
-Did you have a near-death experience?
769
00:44:59,448 --> 00:45:01,116
Well, it was a...
770
00:45:02,367 --> 00:45:04,745
I used to tell my son stories at night.
771
00:45:05,370 --> 00:45:06,538
You have a son?
772
00:45:06,788 --> 00:45:07,915
Yeah, yeah, Alex.
773
00:45:07,998 --> 00:45:10,042
He's 18 now
774
00:45:10,125 --> 00:45:12,294
and he is a freshman at Stanford University.
775
00:45:12,544 --> 00:45:14,129
Wow. So, he's really smart.
776
00:45:14,630 --> 00:45:18,217
Well, his mother was quite clever.
Smart enough to divorce me anyway.
777
00:45:18,300 --> 00:45:20,802
--But, while we were still together,
778
00:45:21,595 --> 00:45:23,805
my dad died and...
779
00:45:23,889 --> 00:45:25,432
Suddenly Alex, at age five,
780
00:45:25,515 --> 00:45:28,936
became frightened of the dark
and obsessed with death.
781
00:45:29,686 --> 00:45:33,482
So I invented a story
about heaven to comfort him.
782
00:45:35,317 --> 00:45:37,527
He didn't really buy it, you know?
783
00:45:37,611 --> 00:45:40,239
He had so many brilliant
and detailed questions
784
00:45:40,322 --> 00:45:42,616
that I had to refine my answers every night.
785
00:45:44,159 --> 00:45:48,413
That turned into the story of two angels
who botch a mission to take a soul
786
00:45:48,497 --> 00:45:50,791
to heaven and have to go to hell
to get her back.
787
00:45:50,874 --> 00:45:52,417
Paradise Misplaced.
788
00:45:52,501 --> 00:45:53,627
Yeah, yeah.
789
00:45:53,961 --> 00:45:56,797
It was a fairy tale, you know,
790
00:45:57,422 --> 00:45:59,841
designed to make a five-year-old
boy go to sleep.
791
00:46:03,762 --> 00:46:06,932
And that's the thing, you know.
Just having that idea,
792
00:46:07,015 --> 00:46:09,601
however big or small, is an enormous help
793
00:46:09,685 --> 00:46:12,646
when you're drifting to sea somewhere
in the middle of your second act.
794
00:46:13,355 --> 00:46:15,524
I mean, let's say, for instance,
795
00:46:15,607 --> 00:46:18,944
that I was going to write a sequel
to Paradise Misplaced.
796
00:46:19,027 --> 00:46:19,987
Are you going to do that?
797
00:46:20,070 --> 00:46:22,114
I ask the question purely academically,
798
00:46:22,197 --> 00:46:24,449
but you know,
what could be the spine to that story?
799
00:46:32,457 --> 00:46:36,378
Well, I always thought Paradise Misplaced
was about second chances
800
00:46:36,461 --> 00:46:39,548
and how it's never too late to redeem
yourself and to start over again.
801
00:46:39,631 --> 00:46:43,093
Interesting, Miss Carpenter,
yeah,yeah,yeah,yeah.
802
00:46:43,176 --> 00:46:45,262
I'm sorry, I just had an unrelated thought.
803
00:46:45,345 --> 00:46:48,181
- Yeah, Billy?
-Maybe instead of going to Hell this time,
804
00:46:48,265 --> 00:46:49,683
they go into space.
805
00:46:50,350 --> 00:46:52,269
OK, yeah. I think I see
where you're going with that one.
806
00:46:52,394 --> 00:46:53,854
It needs a love story.
807
00:46:53,937 --> 00:46:55,272
It should be in 3-D.
808
00:46:55,897 --> 00:46:57,399
One of the angels from the original movie
809
00:46:57,482 --> 00:46:59,359
could have been captured
and brought down to Hell
810
00:46:59,443 --> 00:47:01,695
so two younger angels
have to try and get him back.
811
00:47:02,195 --> 00:47:05,532
Jonah Hill. And Channing Tatum.
We know that works.
812
00:47:06,575 --> 00:47:08,368
Good, good, good, good.
813
00:47:08,452 --> 00:47:10,579
Yes. Well, I hope
you're learning something here.
814
00:47:14,082 --> 00:47:16,209
Hey. Hey!
815
00:47:16,793 --> 00:47:19,171
That was an incredible story
you told about your son today.
816
00:47:20,797 --> 00:47:22,716
Yeah. I shouldn't have really
gotten caught up in all that.
817
00:47:22,799 --> 00:47:24,009
No, it was really moving.
818
00:47:24,092 --> 00:47:26,094
I was just surprised
you hadn't mentioned it before.
819
00:47:26,762 --> 00:47:29,389
Hey, let's go someplace and talk. Really talk.
820
00:47:29,973 --> 00:47:31,850
There's this restaurant called Number 5.
821
00:47:31,933 --> 00:47:34,770
You know, that would be lovely,
but I had not realised
822
00:47:34,895 --> 00:47:37,105
that there's this school policy.
823
00:47:37,189 --> 00:47:38,607
Discouraging teachers and students
824
00:47:38,690 --> 00:47:41,026
from having "romantic and
extracurricular relationships".
825
00:47:41,109 --> 00:47:43,111
- Yeah, exactly.
-But it happens all the time.
826
00:47:43,278 --> 00:47:46,990
I've had relationships with three
of my professors and teaching assistants.
827
00:47:48,033 --> 00:47:49,368
Wow. Three.
828
00:47:49,451 --> 00:47:51,495
And I just think trying to tell adults
829
00:47:51,578 --> 00:47:54,498
what they can or can't do
with their personal lives is ridiculous.
830
00:47:54,581 --> 00:47:57,334
I agree with that, but in our case,
831
00:47:58,293 --> 00:48:00,879
one of us is so much more adult
than the other.
832
00:48:00,962 --> 00:48:03,048
I don't mean emotionally,
because obviously that would be you...
833
00:48:03,131 --> 00:48:04,466
Age is just a number.
834
00:48:04,549 --> 00:48:07,344
I care about who a person is.
And you're an amazing man.
835
00:48:07,427 --> 00:48:09,304
- Well, fair enough...
-Listen to me.
836
00:48:09,429 --> 00:48:10,806
Do you know Steven Spielberg?
837
00:48:11,973 --> 00:48:13,225
Know him? No, not really. We've met.
838
00:48:13,308 --> 00:48:15,477
If you bumped into him in the street,
would he recognise you?
839
00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:18,688
Well, if I bumped into him really hard
and, you know, reintroduced myself
840
00:48:18,772 --> 00:48:20,107
when he was lying on the sidewalk,
I suppose.
841
00:48:20,190 --> 00:48:21,358
What about George Clooney?
842
00:48:21,441 --> 00:48:23,735
We had a lunch.
I pitched him something he really hated.
843
00:48:23,819 --> 00:48:27,406
Do you realise how amazing this is?
These people are the gods of our time.
844
00:48:27,823 --> 00:48:29,491
Yeah, I'm not sure anyone
in the Screen Actors Guild
845
00:48:29,574 --> 00:48:30,784
should really be called a god.
846
00:48:31,034 --> 00:48:33,578
Every society back to ancient times had gods.
847
00:48:33,662 --> 00:48:35,497
I'm minoring in anthropology.
848
00:48:35,580 --> 00:48:37,082
First it was the stars and the sun,
849
00:48:37,165 --> 00:48:39,876
then the Greeks and Romans
anthropomorphised them.
850
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:41,461
Then, we had monotheism,
851
00:48:41,545 --> 00:48:44,214
and in today's culture
our gods are celebrities.
852
00:48:44,297 --> 00:48:45,924
And you know them personally.
853
00:48:46,216 --> 00:48:47,926
I suppose that makes me a kind of demi-god.
854
00:48:48,009 --> 00:48:49,219
Quite a morale-booster.
855
00:48:49,302 --> 00:48:52,931
Besides, what if you meet
your soulmate this way?
856
00:48:53,014 --> 00:48:54,850
What if you meet the person
you're going to marry?
857
00:48:54,933 --> 00:48:56,351
Is that something to be discouraged?
858
00:48:59,729 --> 00:49:00,772
No, I suppose not. No.
859
00:49:00,856 --> 00:49:02,107
Then let's go to dinner.
860
00:49:02,190 --> 00:49:05,068
Unless, you just want it to be about sex.
And I'm fine with that.
861
00:49:05,152 --> 00:49:07,154
Just say that you only want it to be about sex.
862
00:49:07,237 --> 00:49:09,823
I certainly don't want that.
863
00:49:09,906 --> 00:49:10,949
L.-
864
00:49:11,032 --> 00:49:12,826
Let's talk about it at dinner.
That's a good idea.
865
00:49:12,909 --> 00:49:13,994
Great.
866
00:49:24,880 --> 00:49:26,590
Calm down. No one's going to see us
867
00:49:26,673 --> 00:49:27,966
and who cares if they did.
868
00:49:28,049 --> 00:49:30,802
Yup. You're absolutely right.
Silly of me to be worried.
869
00:49:30,886 --> 00:49:33,513
So your son? What is he majoring in?
870
00:49:34,097 --> 00:49:35,640
Well, you know...
871
00:49:36,224 --> 00:49:37,851
I'm not absolutely certain.
872
00:49:37,934 --> 00:49:39,811
Welcome to...
873
00:49:39,895 --> 00:49:40,979
- Lord.
- Hi.
874
00:49:41,062 --> 00:49:43,982
- Mr Michaels and Karen.
-Hello, Holly.
875
00:49:44,065 --> 00:49:45,609
Wow, so you work here?
876
00:49:45,692 --> 00:49:48,445
No, I just walk around with a pad
and I find out what people like to eat.
877
00:49:49,070 --> 00:49:50,906
- I'd like the ahi tuna.
- OK.
878
00:49:51,573 --> 00:49:52,574
Excellent choice.
879
00:49:52,657 --> 00:49:54,159
Great. And a glass of Chardonnay.
880
00:49:54,576 --> 00:49:56,703
OK. Just need to see an ID.
881
00:49:56,912 --> 00:49:57,871
Seriously?
882
00:49:57,954 --> 00:49:59,331
That's just restaurant policy.
883
00:50:09,549 --> 00:50:13,386
I'm sorry. That doesn't look real.
884
00:50:13,762 --> 00:50:14,846
Yes, it is.
885
00:50:14,930 --> 00:50:16,223
I can take it to the manager.
886
00:50:16,389 --> 00:50:18,767
I'll tell you what.
Why don't I order a Chardonnay
887
00:50:18,850 --> 00:50:19,851
and we can share it.
888
00:50:20,101 --> 00:50:22,646
OK. Are we going to get straws?
Am I three years old?
889
00:50:23,104 --> 00:50:24,856
Well, we don't really know,
because your ID is fake.
890
00:50:26,149 --> 00:50:27,150
Sorry.
891
00:50:27,943 --> 00:50:29,778
I'm going to change my order, it's fine.
892
00:50:30,028 --> 00:50:32,197
I'll have a beef enchilada and a margarita
893
00:50:32,614 --> 00:50:34,741
at Café Mexico with Judy and Chloe.
894
00:50:35,408 --> 00:50:36,409
Karen.
895
00:50:37,619 --> 00:50:38,620
Karen.
896
00:50:39,996 --> 00:50:41,373
Don't make a big thing about this.
897
00:50:41,456 --> 00:50:44,834
She's being totally rude
and it'd be nice if you stood up for me.
898
00:50:44,960 --> 00:50:47,003
Either you take me seriously or you don't.
899
00:50:47,254 --> 00:50:48,338
No, I do.
900
00:50:48,421 --> 00:50:50,715
I just think it's probably her job
to ask that question
901
00:50:50,799 --> 00:50:51,800
-and she...
-Good night.
902
00:50:56,429 --> 00:50:57,764
Daughters.
903
00:51:02,978 --> 00:51:06,940
It might have been real, we just have to check.
904
00:51:07,482 --> 00:51:09,150
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
905
00:51:12,988 --> 00:51:15,782
So, the ahi tuna actually sounded delicious.
906
00:51:15,865 --> 00:51:17,826
And I will have a glass of Chardonnay.
907
00:51:17,993 --> 00:51:18,994
Thank you.
908
00:51:19,744 --> 00:51:21,162
Would you like to see ID?
909
00:51:26,126 --> 00:51:28,628
Hey, I'm driving you home.
910
00:51:30,255 --> 00:51:32,841
Wow, this is a full-service restaurant.
911
00:51:32,924 --> 00:51:35,260
Well, you had two glasses
and you had two at the bar
912
00:51:35,343 --> 00:51:36,970
and if you die, I don't get to take your course
913
00:51:37,053 --> 00:51:38,471
and it's going to screw up
my whole schedule.
914
00:51:38,555 --> 00:51:40,640
What about my car?
915
00:51:40,724 --> 00:51:42,183
It's a Hyundai. It'll be there in the morning.
916
00:51:51,067 --> 00:51:54,487
The girls are doing a disco performance.
917
00:51:54,571 --> 00:51:56,406
I'm helping. You know, I used to dance.
918
00:51:57,574 --> 00:52:00,327
No, I know. You danced modern.
It's in your script.
919
00:52:00,410 --> 00:52:02,495
Peggy goes all the way to the big city
920
00:52:02,579 --> 00:52:04,664
to dance before coming back
and marrying Ted,
921
00:52:04,748 --> 00:52:07,959
the hot, but quite thick minor league
baseball player.
922
00:52:08,043 --> 00:52:11,838
I didn't write "big city". I said "New York".
923
00:52:11,921 --> 00:52:13,840
You think we're all rubes up here?
924
00:52:13,923 --> 00:52:15,800
Very much so, yes, yes, yes.
925
00:52:15,884 --> 00:52:19,304
That true, did you really dance
in an off-Broadway show?
926
00:52:19,387 --> 00:52:21,473
Yes, until I blew my ankle out.
927
00:52:22,974 --> 00:52:25,560
Must have been tough,
coming back here after being in the big...
928
00:52:26,227 --> 00:52:27,479
Manhattan.
929
00:52:27,562 --> 00:52:29,314
Why?
930
00:52:30,065 --> 00:52:31,691
Binghamton rocks.
931
00:52:31,775 --> 00:52:34,235
I know. I know.
932
00:52:38,365 --> 00:52:39,991
How does it rock?
933
00:52:41,326 --> 00:52:42,577
Gorgeous.
934
00:52:42,869 --> 00:52:46,665
One of the oldest antique carousels
in the United States.
935
00:52:46,748 --> 00:52:48,458
Rod Serling used it as the model
936
00:52:48,541 --> 00:52:51,419
for one of the most famous episodes
of The Twilight Zone ever.
937
00:52:52,253 --> 00:52:53,296
Do you know it?
938
00:52:53,755 --> 00:52:55,799
I was always too scared
to watch The Twilight Zone
939
00:52:55,882 --> 00:52:56,925
because of that music.
940
00:52:57,092 --> 00:52:58,343
You mean...
941
00:53:00,053 --> 00:53:01,471
Yup, that's it. Yup.
942
00:53:03,431 --> 00:53:06,101
You're very good. You can stop now. Please.
943
00:53:06,184 --> 00:53:07,936
Please, seriously, stop, stop.
944
00:53:08,853 --> 00:53:12,357
It's the story of a middle-aged man
who's lost his way
945
00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:14,734
and goes back in time
to the park he used to play in.
946
00:53:14,818 --> 00:53:16,611
This park.
947
00:53:16,695 --> 00:53:18,780
And, he rides the merry-go-round
948
00:53:19,447 --> 00:53:21,116
and he sees his father and his father tells him
949
00:53:21,199 --> 00:53:22,867
that he has to move on with his life
950
00:53:22,951 --> 00:53:27,038
because he's been looking behind him
and he has to try looking ahead.
951
00:53:27,122 --> 00:53:29,290
All right, well, thank you
for the history lesson.
952
00:53:29,374 --> 00:53:31,209
Folks, closing in a minute.
953
00:53:31,292 --> 00:53:34,295
And thanks for being
so understanding tonight about Karen.
954
00:53:35,088 --> 00:53:36,840
It's not what it seems.
955
00:53:36,923 --> 00:53:39,217
Seems like you're sleeping with her.
956
00:53:39,300 --> 00:53:41,261
- Then it is what it seems.
957
00:53:41,344 --> 00:53:43,054
I mean, I realise I shouldn't
be leading her on, but...
958
00:53:43,138 --> 00:53:44,389
I mean, it takes...
959
00:53:44,472 --> 00:53:46,224
You think it's about you?
960
00:53:46,307 --> 00:53:47,809
It's about her father.
961
00:53:50,979 --> 00:53:52,188
What do you mean, it's about her father?
962
00:53:52,272 --> 00:53:54,858
The whole subtext of her script
is about a young girl
963
00:53:54,941 --> 00:53:57,402
trying to get her distant, powerful
father's love.
964
00:53:58,611 --> 00:54:02,198
You're just a substitute for the attention
she never got from an older male figure.
965
00:54:02,282 --> 00:54:03,533
That's rather disturbing.
966
00:54:03,616 --> 00:54:05,410
What's disturbing is
what does it say about you?
967
00:54:05,493 --> 00:54:08,663
You trying to fill a spiritual vacancy
with alcohol and young women?
968
00:54:09,289 --> 00:54:10,331
Yes.
969
00:54:18,339 --> 00:54:19,466
Well.
970
00:54:20,341 --> 00:54:21,634
Thank you very much.
971
00:54:23,052 --> 00:54:24,179
No problem.
972
00:54:28,558 --> 00:54:30,018
- Good.
-Yes.
973
00:54:41,154 --> 00:54:43,448
That was very nice of you to show me
the sights of Binghamton.
974
00:54:43,531 --> 00:54:45,116
The sight. That was about it.
975
00:54:45,200 --> 00:54:47,702
Well it was surprisingly lovely and...
976
00:54:47,786 --> 00:54:50,497
You're very easy to talk to
even though you did do most of the talking.
977
00:54:50,830 --> 00:54:52,373
Thank you. I think.
978
00:54:52,457 --> 00:54:54,292
And you look very nice
in your waitress uniform.
979
00:54:55,460 --> 00:54:57,003
But, I've always had a yen for uniforms.
980
00:54:57,086 --> 00:54:58,963
I think Kim Jong-Eun looks pretty sexy.
981
00:54:59,047 --> 00:55:01,758
Well, I am flattered by the competition.
982
00:55:05,678 --> 00:55:06,888
Yeah.
983
00:55:08,056 --> 00:55:09,974
OK. Good night.
984
00:55:10,058 --> 00:55:11,392
Good night.
985
00:55:30,245 --> 00:55:31,663
Character.
986
00:55:31,746 --> 00:55:33,957
Character is everything.
987
00:55:34,040 --> 00:55:36,626
Fortunately, not in life, but in storytelling.
988
00:55:36,709 --> 00:55:39,504
Make sure that your characters drive the plot
989
00:55:39,587 --> 00:55:41,089
and not the other way around.
990
00:55:43,216 --> 00:55:44,968
Yes, questions? Anyone else?
991
00:55:46,970 --> 00:55:48,263
Karen, yeah?
992
00:55:48,346 --> 00:55:51,140
I'm just wondering,
given that besides Paradise Misplaced
993
00:55:51,266 --> 00:55:54,143
all your other films were critical
and commercial failures,
994
00:55:54,227 --> 00:55:56,771
why should we take this
or any advice from you?
995
00:56:03,444 --> 00:56:06,948
Well, you shouldn't. Because, um...
996
00:56:08,700 --> 00:56:11,661
When it comes to writing,
there are no rules, you know?
997
00:56:11,744 --> 00:56:14,372
Except be true to the story you're telling.
998
00:56:14,455 --> 00:56:16,708
Just make it your own unique voice.
999
00:56:16,791 --> 00:56:19,335
So thank you for pointing that out, Karen.
That's very helpful.
1000
00:56:45,820 --> 00:56:47,906
Well, I enjoyed your pages, Sara,
1001
00:56:47,989 --> 00:56:52,452
but, why is it subtitled
when the film is in English?
1002
00:56:52,535 --> 00:56:56,247
To demonstrate the vast gulf between
what we say and what we mean.
1003
00:56:56,331 --> 00:56:57,832
No one's ever done that before.
1004
00:56:57,916 --> 00:57:00,501
Yeah, I think Woody Allen did it in Annie Hall.
1005
00:57:01,669 --> 00:57:03,171
That was a comedy.
1006
00:57:03,254 --> 00:57:04,964
I'm not interested in comedy.
1007
00:57:05,048 --> 00:57:07,383
No, no, I do see that. Yes.
1008
00:57:07,467 --> 00:57:09,928
- Thanks, Mr Michaels.
-Thank you, Rosa.
1009
00:57:10,011 --> 00:57:12,764
- Thank you, Mr Michaels.
-Thank you, Andrea, Clem, Billy...
1010
00:57:12,847 --> 00:57:14,974
Maya. At last, thank you.
1011
00:57:15,058 --> 00:57:18,102
Andrea, this is vastly improved.
1012
00:57:18,186 --> 00:57:20,897
Really? I'm going to cry.
1013
00:57:20,980 --> 00:57:23,107
No, really, you've done a good job
1014
00:57:23,191 --> 00:57:27,612
of foreshadowing by starting the script
with the Bat Mitzvah video,
1015
00:57:27,695 --> 00:57:29,364
giving us a hint of the horror to come.
1016
00:57:29,447 --> 00:57:33,952
But, I still think maybe you just need
to define the larger theme of your story.
1017
00:57:35,495 --> 00:57:38,289
What about the idea that you really have to do
everything yourself?
1018
00:57:38,373 --> 00:57:40,416
Because you can never trust caterers.
1019
00:57:41,250 --> 00:57:44,712
Yeah. That might be a tad close
to The Hun' Locker.
1020
00:57:44,796 --> 00:57:47,256
Did you think you could maybe
dig a little deeper?
1021
00:57:48,841 --> 00:57:50,051
I don't think I go that deep.
1022
00:57:51,052 --> 00:57:53,054
That's what everybody
keeps telling me anyways.
1023
00:57:55,098 --> 00:57:58,059
Well, let's prove everybody wrong.
1024
00:58:07,110 --> 00:58:08,778
OK, well here's my thought, Billy,
1025
00:58:08,861 --> 00:58:10,780
and I know how much you love Star Wars,
1026
00:58:10,863 --> 00:58:13,491
but I'm just not sure it's really going
to pass muster to just
1027
00:58:13,574 --> 00:58:16,536
retell those stories
and change some names around.
1028
00:58:17,203 --> 00:58:18,204
I didn't.
1029
00:58:18,287 --> 00:58:21,541
Well, you have a small, wise,
greenish character called Zoda.
1030
00:58:22,500 --> 00:58:24,085
- That's not the same.
-Yes,
1031
00:58:24,168 --> 00:58:27,130
but I just think maybe it'd be good
to let go of your obsessions.
1032
00:58:27,213 --> 00:58:28,214
Do you have other ideas?
1033
00:58:29,048 --> 00:58:32,343
I was thinking about trying to join a frat.
1034
00:58:32,593 --> 00:58:35,763
Well, that would take care
of your social life, I suppose.
1035
00:58:37,306 --> 00:58:38,808
Anything we could do, writing-wise?
1036
00:58:39,726 --> 00:58:41,227
They're kind of the same thing.
1037
00:58:42,562 --> 00:58:45,440
A lot of nights when I'm sitting home alone,
1038
00:58:45,523 --> 00:58:48,443
Star Wars is what I look forward to.
1039
00:58:48,985 --> 00:58:52,947
And sometimes I wish it was real
and I could go live in that world.
1040
00:58:53,031 --> 00:58:54,407
So, that's what I write about.
1041
00:58:55,992 --> 00:58:57,452
It's just that somebody already wrote it.
1042
00:58:58,119 --> 00:59:00,288
Yeah, no, it's bad timing.
1043
00:59:01,122 --> 00:59:02,915
So you think I should do the frat thing?
1044
00:59:03,958 --> 00:59:06,919
Yeah, why not? Expand your horizons.
1045
00:59:07,003 --> 00:59:10,798
Go forth like Luke Skywalker
and find new worlds to conquer.
1046
00:59:12,967 --> 00:59:14,218
- Mr Michaels.
-Rosa.
1047
00:59:14,302 --> 00:59:15,678
Sorry to bother, but...
1048
00:59:15,762 --> 00:59:19,223
That was an awesome class on character
development the other day. Thanks.
1049
00:59:19,307 --> 00:59:21,059
Well, my pleasure, Rosa.
1050
00:59:24,812 --> 00:59:27,065
You know, I've been teaching for 25 years,
1051
00:59:27,148 --> 00:59:28,357
nobody's ever thanked me.
1052
00:59:29,275 --> 00:59:30,526
Thank you.
1053
00:59:30,610 --> 00:59:33,071
You're welcome. Ooh, that felt good.
1054
00:59:33,988 --> 00:59:37,784
I've been hearing really good buzz
from the kids on your course, Keith.
1055
00:59:37,867 --> 00:59:41,245
I know Hollywood is calling,
but if you could stay, we'd love to have you.
1056
00:59:41,329 --> 00:59:43,831
Well, I appreciate that,
it's very flattering. Thanks.
1057
00:59:44,499 --> 00:59:47,794
I don't think students should
even be allowed to attend these events.
1058
01:00:10,775 --> 01:00:12,860
You look good doing that. Watch the hair.
1059
01:00:52,400 --> 01:00:54,318
- Yes, hello, Ellen.
-Hey.
1060
01:00:54,402 --> 01:00:56,654
- Got the outline. Looks good.
- Excellent.
1061
01:00:56,737 --> 01:00:59,657
I think even an agent of your calibre
should be able to sell it.
1062
01:00:59,740 --> 01:01:03,911
And, I have a script I'd like you
to take a look at by a young man in my class.
1063
01:01:03,995 --> 01:01:04,996
Yeah?
1064
01:01:05,079 --> 01:01:06,831
Yeah. It's called Veronica, Out of Time
1065
01:01:06,914 --> 01:01:09,876
and it's about a kick-ass girl
who gets sucked into a time machine
1066
01:01:09,959 --> 01:01:12,753
and has to fight her way back
through various periods of history.
1067
01:01:12,837 --> 01:01:15,006
Imagine The Matrix meets Gossip Girl.
1068
01:01:15,089 --> 01:01:18,384
- Hold that. I like that.
- Yeah, me too.
1069
01:01:18,467 --> 01:01:20,678
And if anything happens with it,
I would like to produce.
1070
01:01:20,761 --> 01:01:23,097
Email me the pages.
In the meantime, stay out of trouble.
1071
01:01:23,181 --> 01:01:25,683
I'm in Binghamton.
What trouble could I get into?
1072
01:01:25,766 --> 01:01:26,767
Hang on.
1073
01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:30,062
I think I just discovered
how the rhetorical question was invented.
1074
01:01:31,063 --> 01:01:32,648
- I'll talk to you later.
- Bye.
1075
01:01:34,192 --> 01:01:35,401
Hi.
1076
01:01:35,735 --> 01:01:38,446
I want to discuss our relationship,
if you can call it that.
1077
01:01:38,529 --> 01:01:41,157
Well, exactly, I am not sure that you can,
1078
01:01:41,240 --> 01:01:43,659
because if your script is any kind of guide,
1079
01:01:43,743 --> 01:01:46,120
it could be said that any interest
you have in me
1080
01:01:46,204 --> 01:01:49,999
is just a misplaced attempt
to earn the attention
1081
01:01:50,082 --> 01:01:52,752
that you never received
from a remote father figure.
1082
01:01:54,629 --> 01:01:55,796
Jesus.
1083
01:01:56,380 --> 01:01:57,965
I mean, I don't mean to offend.
1084
01:01:58,466 --> 01:02:00,885
That's unbelievably insightful.
1085
01:02:00,968 --> 01:02:02,887
Well, it was very obvious
to me from your pages.
1086
01:02:03,304 --> 01:02:04,972
And, can I tell you what I think
1087
01:02:05,056 --> 01:02:07,934
is the most significant problem
with your otherwise very promising script?
1088
01:02:08,726 --> 01:02:10,811
Fine. OK, sure, tell me.
1089
01:02:10,895 --> 01:02:16,275
All right. So your father character is rich,
narcissistic, selfish, womanising...
1090
01:02:16,359 --> 01:02:17,485
Yeah, I know. Too unlikeable.
1091
01:02:17,568 --> 01:02:19,654
No, no, no, I loved him. He's fantastic.
1092
01:02:19,737 --> 01:02:22,448
You loved him? That's perverse.
1093
01:02:22,531 --> 01:02:24,909
Well, he's an incredibly well-drawn character.
1094
01:02:24,992 --> 01:02:27,662
The problem is with the daughter,
she's sort of paper-thin, you know?
1095
01:02:27,745 --> 01:02:30,581
She's a good daughter, she's a good student.
1096
01:02:30,665 --> 01:02:32,416
There's no flaws, nothing needs to be fixed.
1097
01:02:32,500 --> 01:02:34,001
So? The father needs to be fixed.
1098
01:02:34,085 --> 01:02:35,670
Which is what makes him
an interesting character.
1099
01:02:35,753 --> 01:02:39,590
And in reaction to that,
I think that maybe the daughter should be...
1100
01:02:41,425 --> 01:02:44,971
Libidinous, spoiled, sexually manipulative,
you know, more like...
1101
01:02:47,515 --> 01:02:48,849
So many interesting characters.
1102
01:02:48,933 --> 01:02:50,685
Like me? You were going to say me.
1103
01:02:51,769 --> 01:02:54,105
- Not at all.
-You were looking right at me.
1104
01:02:54,188 --> 01:02:56,482
I was looking in that direction.
1105
01:02:56,565 --> 01:02:58,567
Karen, Karen.
1106
01:02:59,610 --> 01:03:02,738
Listen, listen. I did not mean you.
I did not mean you
1107
01:03:02,822 --> 01:03:06,325
and I really do think that your script
has enormous potential.
1108
01:03:06,409 --> 01:03:08,744
And I really do think
you should go fuck yourself.
1109
01:03:08,869 --> 01:03:11,247
And bring my weed in. I left it your house.
1110
01:03:11,330 --> 01:03:15,042
Because after this relationship,
I really need to get baked.
1111
01:03:20,589 --> 01:03:22,091
Office hours.
1112
01:03:22,174 --> 01:03:24,635
There's nothing like one-on-one time
with a student, is there?
1113
01:03:24,719 --> 01:03:25,845
How are you today?
1114
01:03:30,224 --> 01:03:32,643
Hey, are you OK, buddy?
1115
01:03:32,727 --> 01:03:35,479
I'm not sure.
1116
01:03:35,563 --> 01:03:37,606
Maybe I should go home
and eat the rest of Karen's pot.
1117
01:03:39,650 --> 01:03:40,860
I know what you need.
1118
01:03:48,242 --> 01:03:49,410
Right?
1119
01:03:49,827 --> 01:03:50,828
Incredible.
1120
01:03:50,911 --> 01:03:53,164
All we need is a good wine and this is Paris.
1121
01:03:54,915 --> 01:03:58,586
Well, since my four daughters
and my wife became vegetarians,
1122
01:03:59,337 --> 01:04:01,797
I'm not allowed to have any meat
in the house, so,
1123
01:04:01,881 --> 01:04:04,425
I'm going to get some pork Spiedies to go
and store them in my office.
1124
01:04:08,763 --> 01:04:11,182
- That's a little bit sad, isn't it?
-What?
1125
01:04:11,265 --> 01:04:14,310
Well, you know,
being henpecked to death like that.
1126
01:04:15,644 --> 01:04:18,189
Are you kidding me?
He's the happiest guy I know.
1127
01:04:19,065 --> 01:04:21,192
At faculty meetings, we bet on how long
1128
01:04:21,275 --> 01:04:24,028
it will take him to cry
when he talks about his family.
1129
01:04:24,111 --> 01:04:25,738
Twenty-five seconds is the record.
1130
01:04:26,280 --> 01:04:27,865
Seriously? Dr Lerner?
1131
01:04:27,948 --> 01:04:31,077
I'm telling you. In a perfect world,
I should be that happy.
1132
01:04:33,788 --> 01:04:37,541
I started seeing this woman, Joan.
1133
01:04:37,625 --> 01:04:40,211
She's an insurance agent with State Farm.
1134
01:04:40,294 --> 01:04:41,629
She specialises in collision.
1135
01:04:41,962 --> 01:04:42,963
Don't let her go.
1136
01:04:43,047 --> 01:04:44,507
I'm trying not to.
1137
01:04:45,800 --> 01:04:47,051
What's the secret?
1138
01:04:47,760 --> 01:04:48,719
You're asking me?
1139
01:04:48,803 --> 01:04:51,180
I've been divorced for 10 years
and you just caught me in the hall
1140
01:04:51,263 --> 01:04:53,224
being severely berated by an undergraduate.
1141
01:04:53,307 --> 01:04:56,977
I don't know, my only thought
is that you be yourself.
1142
01:04:59,772 --> 01:05:01,732
- No, that's not going to work.
-No, you're obviously right.
1143
01:05:01,816 --> 01:05:04,527
But in an ideal world,
that's what you hope for, isn't it?
1144
01:05:04,610 --> 01:05:07,571
That you find someone
you can be yourself with, you know?
1145
01:05:07,655 --> 01:05:10,491
Some smart, funny woman
full of fire and honesty,
1146
01:05:10,574 --> 01:05:12,785
who looks great dancing barefoot
1147
01:05:12,868 --> 01:05:15,204
and can obviously see straight through you.
1148
01:05:18,499 --> 01:05:20,000
Why barefoot?
1149
01:05:21,168 --> 01:05:22,545
I enjoy feet.
1150
01:05:24,880 --> 01:05:25,965
Hey.
1151
01:05:26,590 --> 01:05:29,927
So, Harold, you don't happen to have
any pictures of your family, do you?
1152
01:05:30,010 --> 01:05:32,346
I don't know, maybe. I might.
1153
01:05:34,640 --> 01:05:36,475
A-ha, Look at that.
1154
01:05:36,559 --> 01:05:37,935
DR LERNERI My Wife, Helen.
1155
01:05:38,018 --> 01:05:41,897
And that's Kate, Rosalind, Olivia
1156
01:05:41,981 --> 01:05:44,024
and the little one is Beatrice.
1157
01:05:44,316 --> 01:05:45,484
That Beatrice.
1158
01:05:45,568 --> 01:05:47,820
She's got a mischievous glint
in her eye, doesn't she?
1159
01:05:47,903 --> 01:05:49,321
Yeah. Unbelievable.
1160
01:05:53,200 --> 01:05:54,702
I forgot napkins.
1161
01:05:54,785 --> 01:05:57,872
--OK, 33 seconds. Solid time.
1162
01:06:02,209 --> 01:06:03,502
So, this is funny.
1163
01:06:03,586 --> 01:06:05,045
It's engaging.
1164
01:06:05,129 --> 01:06:08,174
My only thing is I'm just a little confused
about Jack,
1165
01:06:08,257 --> 01:06:11,302
this conservative, older banker
who is now dating Peggy.
1166
01:06:11,385 --> 01:06:12,511
What's wrong with him?
1167
01:06:12,595 --> 01:06:14,638
Well, he's a bit dull for Peggy, isn't he?
1168
01:06:14,722 --> 01:06:18,684
No, Jack's steady.
He's from Peggy's hometown.
1169
01:06:18,767 --> 01:06:19,768
He'd be a great stepfather.
1170
01:06:19,852 --> 01:06:22,313
Yeah, but Peggy doesn't love Jack.
1171
01:06:22,396 --> 01:06:24,356
Maybe not, but Peggy can learn to.
1172
01:06:24,440 --> 01:06:25,941
Yes, of course,
if Peggy puts her mind to it.
1173
01:06:26,025 --> 01:06:27,193
Stupid of me, yes.
1174
01:06:27,276 --> 01:06:29,195
And, you know, Jerry's not such a bad egg.
1175
01:06:29,278 --> 01:06:30,696
Wait, wait, stop, stop, stop.
1176
01:06:30,779 --> 01:06:31,947
Who's Jerry?
1177
01:06:33,073 --> 01:06:34,283
Does Jack know about Jerry?
1178
01:06:35,242 --> 01:06:37,620
No. Jack is Jerry.
1179
01:06:39,330 --> 01:06:40,956
- Jack is Jerry.
-Jack is Jerry.
1180
01:06:41,040 --> 01:06:43,125
So Jerry is a man you are seeing.
1181
01:06:43,209 --> 01:06:45,753
Yes. And that's why the character
should work.
1182
01:06:45,836 --> 01:06:48,797
Because I'm writing from real life.
I'm writing what I know.
1183
01:06:48,881 --> 01:06:50,382
Isn't that what you're supposed to do?
1184
01:06:50,466 --> 01:06:51,967
Not at all, no, no. That's absurd.
1185
01:06:52,051 --> 01:06:55,596
I mean, for a start, what if you're like me,
what if you don't know anything?
1186
01:06:56,430 --> 01:06:58,891
But, you're writing your Matt Damon movie
about being a teacher now
1187
01:06:58,974 --> 01:07:01,477
and you wrote about your son
and that worked out.
1188
01:07:01,560 --> 01:07:04,605
Yeah, that's debatable seeing as we haven't
actually spoken in over a year.
1189
01:07:05,356 --> 01:07:07,191
But Jack, or should I say Jerry...
1190
01:07:07,274 --> 01:07:09,068
You haven't spoken to your son in a year?
1191
01:07:09,610 --> 01:07:13,572
Well it's not a big deal,
it's just that after his mother remarried,
1192
01:07:13,656 --> 01:07:16,033
we sort of saw less and less
of each other, so...
1193
01:07:16,367 --> 01:07:19,954
Cos when you spoke about him in class,
your whole face lit up.
1194
01:07:20,454 --> 01:07:22,206
Yeah, well, I was very fond of him.
1195
01:07:22,289 --> 01:07:23,832
And now you're not?
1196
01:07:28,254 --> 01:07:32,383
There is no adulation
like Hollywood adulation, you know?
1197
01:07:32,466 --> 01:07:36,637
People that you have only seen in magazines
tell you that they love you
1198
01:07:36,720 --> 01:07:39,932
and they want to be your friend.
And it's magical.
1199
01:07:40,015 --> 01:07:43,269
Until your next film is not as good
and the one after that even less so.
1200
01:07:43,352 --> 01:07:47,106
And suddenly, your confidence is shattered
1201
01:07:47,189 --> 01:07:51,318
and your wife leaves you for the man
who directed your one hit.
1202
01:07:52,695 --> 01:07:54,738
The guy who directed Paradise Misplaced?
1203
01:07:55,322 --> 01:07:56,991
- Niles Kelling.
- God.
1204
01:07:57,074 --> 01:07:58,617
He's big. Hit after hit.
1205
01:07:58,701 --> 01:07:59,702
Yeah, thank you very much.
1206
01:07:59,827 --> 01:08:02,580
And, as I was drinking a bit too much
1207
01:08:02,746 --> 01:08:05,374
and dating actresses young enough to believe
1208
01:08:05,499 --> 01:08:07,876
that a writer could get them a job,
1209
01:08:07,960 --> 01:08:10,671
I sort of stopped calling Alex.
1210
01:08:12,172 --> 01:08:15,843
Because you think he feels about you
the way you feel about you?
1211
01:08:16,927 --> 01:08:19,221
Yup, yup, yup. And really, why wouldn't he?
1212
01:08:19,305 --> 01:08:22,558
You know, cos he's with his mother
and stepfather
1213
01:08:22,641 --> 01:08:24,560
flying to Hawaii on a private jet
1214
01:08:24,643 --> 01:08:28,439
while Dad is being rejected
for a rewrite of Piranha 3D.
1215
01:08:29,690 --> 01:08:31,650
And is not being a great dad anyway.
1216
01:08:33,027 --> 01:08:35,988
"As long as you're alive,
you can forgive and be forgiven.
1217
01:08:36,363 --> 01:08:38,824
"Once you're dead,
it gets significantly harder."
1218
01:08:39,908 --> 01:08:43,621
That's from Paradise Misplaced.
My favourite movie.
1219
01:08:43,704 --> 01:08:46,081
One of them anyway. Top five.
1220
01:08:46,165 --> 01:08:47,249
Definitely top 10.
1221
01:08:49,001 --> 01:08:50,210
I'm very worried about your taste.
1222
01:08:50,669 --> 01:08:51,712
Top 20.
1223
01:08:53,130 --> 01:08:54,173
Call your son.
1224
01:08:55,382 --> 01:08:56,550
Really?
1225
01:08:57,217 --> 01:08:58,385
Really.
1226
01:09:03,599 --> 01:09:05,976
Is it so bad, where you're from?
1227
01:09:06,060 --> 01:09:07,353
I thought so, Pop.
1228
01:09:08,062 --> 01:09:10,105
I've been living at a dead run and I was tired.
1229
01:09:11,065 --> 01:09:12,858
And one day I knew I had to come back here.
1230
01:09:13,442 --> 01:09:15,778
Had to come back
and get on the merry-go-round
1231
01:09:15,861 --> 01:09:19,073
and eat cotton candy
and listen to a band concert.
1232
01:09:19,657 --> 01:09:22,034
Had to stop and breathe.
1233
01:09:23,535 --> 01:09:26,121
Maybe when you go back, Martin,
1234
01:09:26,205 --> 01:09:29,625
you'll find that there are merry-go-rounds
and band concerts where you are.
1235
01:09:30,125 --> 01:09:31,919
Maybe you haven't been looking
in the right place.
1236
01:09:33,212 --> 01:09:34,588
You've been looking behind you, Martin.
1237
01:09:35,422 --> 01:09:37,091
Try looking ahead.
1238
01:09:58,779 --> 01:10:00,030
Hey, this is Alex.
1239
01:10:00,114 --> 01:10:01,907
Leave a message and I'll call you back.
1240
01:10:01,990 --> 01:10:03,659
Hello, there.
1241
01:10:05,244 --> 01:10:08,831
I'm not sure if you recognise
this voice any more, but...
1242
01:10:10,082 --> 01:10:12,418
It's me, um...
1243
01:10:13,335 --> 01:10:16,839
Your father. Wanting to say hi.
1244
01:10:16,922 --> 01:10:20,092
Wanting to check up on you,
make sure you're OK.
1245
01:10:21,009 --> 01:10:22,553
Wanting to say, um...
1246
01:10:24,388 --> 01:10:27,891
I love you and I miss you...
1247
01:10:27,975 --> 01:10:31,854
And, it would be great
1248
01:10:31,937 --> 01:10:34,898
if you had the inclination to call me.
1249
01:10:34,982 --> 01:10:36,900
I'm on the same number.
1250
01:10:39,737 --> 01:10:42,322
That's probably it.
1251
01:10:42,406 --> 01:10:45,159
OK. OK. It's your dad.
1252
01:10:56,837 --> 01:10:58,756
- Hey, Keith.
- Hey.
1253
01:11:02,843 --> 01:11:04,428
Keith, here's why I texted you.
1254
01:11:04,511 --> 01:11:07,681
Professor Weldon claims that
based on what she witnessed,
1255
01:11:07,765 --> 01:11:12,770
you have been carrying on "an inappropriate
relationship with a female student."
1256
01:11:15,189 --> 01:11:19,193
Now, if you just go away quietly, it'll be fine.
1257
01:11:19,276 --> 01:11:22,571
Otherwise, she'll take it to the Ethics
Committee and there will be a hearing.
1258
01:11:22,654 --> 01:11:24,615
And would that be a public hearing?
1259
01:11:25,115 --> 01:11:27,951
- Behind closed doors.
-Well, thank God for that.
1260
01:11:28,035 --> 01:11:30,162
But they usually wind up on the Internet.
1261
01:11:30,579 --> 01:11:31,955
What is wrong with that woman?
1262
01:11:32,289 --> 01:11:35,918
Weldon? She's elitist, lonely, miserable...
1263
01:11:36,001 --> 01:11:38,003
And in this case, right.
1264
01:11:40,339 --> 01:11:43,467
My oldest daughter is going
off to college this fall.
1265
01:11:43,550 --> 01:11:48,055
And if this happened to her,
I'd come after you. And I'd be armed.
1266
01:11:48,388 --> 01:11:50,808
I was sort of hoping
you were pro-gun control.
1267
01:11:50,891 --> 01:11:54,394
Well, I was a Marine,
so I could kill you with my bare hands.
1268
01:11:55,270 --> 01:11:59,316
A sharp blow to the Adam's apple.
Knuckle heart punch. Malaysian choke hold.
1269
01:11:59,399 --> 01:12:01,777
I wouldn't, you know, because I like you.
1270
01:12:01,860 --> 01:12:03,821
- Thank you.
-Yeah.
1271
01:12:04,988 --> 01:12:06,990
But, Keith, you made a mistake here.
1272
01:12:07,324 --> 01:12:08,575
Yeah.
1273
01:12:12,788 --> 01:12:15,749
Hey, there. Any news
on the outline? it has been a few days.
1274
01:12:15,833 --> 01:12:16,917
Listen, Keith.
1275
01:12:17,000 --> 01:12:20,879
The studio is planning to do
Paradise Misplaced Two.
1276
01:12:20,963 --> 01:12:23,757
But, they want those guys
Furman and Lesser to write it.
1277
01:12:27,761 --> 01:12:29,346
Why, what...
1278
01:12:29,429 --> 01:12:31,265
Wait, wait, wait. Maybe,
1279
01:12:31,348 --> 01:12:35,018
maybe they just want to hire these guys
because they think I'm not interested?
1280
01:12:35,102 --> 01:12:36,812
No, no, no. I told them
that you were interested.
1281
01:12:36,895 --> 01:12:40,482
But they said they're looking
for a fresh perspective. A new voice...
1282
01:12:40,566 --> 01:12:43,193
You know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
1283
01:12:43,277 --> 01:12:46,488
But look, you do have a roof over your head
and you have some money coming in...
1284
01:12:46,572 --> 01:12:48,365
And you must be teaching
those kids something
1285
01:12:48,448 --> 01:12:52,619
because I love that script you sent me
from that boy in your class.
1286
01:12:53,537 --> 01:12:57,457
That's good. You should call him.
You should call him and tell him.
1287
01:12:57,541 --> 01:12:59,293
You sure that's OK?
1288
01:12:59,376 --> 01:13:02,963
Yeah. I'm glad someone's career is alive.
1289
01:13:03,046 --> 01:13:07,342
Your career is alive.
It's just, you know, dormant right now.
1290
01:13:07,426 --> 01:13:09,219
Just hang in. All right?
1291
01:13:09,303 --> 01:13:11,138
Yeah. OK. Yeah.
1292
01:13:11,513 --> 01:13:12,973
Bye.
1293
01:13:41,460 --> 01:13:42,586
Walt Disney?
1294
01:13:42,669 --> 01:13:44,421
I actually think he is a genius.
1295
01:13:44,504 --> 01:13:47,758
- I agree.
- I love The Little Mermaid.
1296
01:13:47,841 --> 01:13:52,387
The music, the songs, the bubbles?
And Prince Eric was totally hot.
1297
01:13:52,471 --> 01:13:53,513
Please. Stop.
1298
01:13:53,597 --> 01:13:55,557
Why do there have to be
all these distinctions?
1299
01:13:55,682 --> 01:13:58,810
Why can't you like 101 Dalmatians
and Reservoir Dogs?
1300
01:13:58,894 --> 01:14:01,688
Exactly. Fantastic point, Rosa.
1301
01:14:04,983 --> 01:14:08,445
Mr Michaels, do you think you can
mention Disney in the same breath
1302
01:14:08,528 --> 01:14:11,657
as Tarantino, Kurosawa or Bergman?
1303
01:14:11,740 --> 01:14:14,451
Well, you just did, Sara. So, yes.
1304
01:14:14,534 --> 01:14:17,204
- And what's the difference?
-Sorry?
1305
01:14:17,287 --> 01:14:22,292
Well, Disney, Kurosawa, they're dead.
1306
01:14:22,376 --> 01:14:26,296
I mean, great art didn't save them, did it?
They're gone. They're forgotten.
1307
01:14:27,547 --> 01:14:29,883
Does anyone still watch Bambi?
1308
01:14:30,425 --> 01:14:33,804
Kurosawa. I think most people
would say that's sushi.
1309
01:14:33,887 --> 01:14:37,307
Bergman. I will give you $100 if anyone here
can name three of his movies.
1310
01:14:37,557 --> 01:14:40,268
- Wild Strawberries.
-The Seventh Seal, Persona.
1311
01:14:40,352 --> 01:14:42,270
Yeah, well. Apart from you two.
1312
01:14:42,354 --> 01:14:45,649
You know, it all fades. it all turns to dust.
1313
01:14:45,732 --> 01:14:49,236
It's very hard to know why any of you
would want to do this in the first place,
1314
01:14:49,319 --> 01:14:52,906
because you will be rewritten,
discarded, fired, forgotten.
1315
01:14:52,990 --> 01:14:54,866
That's if you're lucky enough
to work in the first place.
1316
01:14:54,950 --> 01:15:00,998
So don't be under any illusion that this
will bring you immortality. Or happiness.
1317
01:15:01,081 --> 01:15:03,583
Perhaps it's better not to even try.
1318
01:15:06,962 --> 01:15:11,925
Try not. Do or do not. There is no "try".
1319
01:15:13,927 --> 01:15:16,680
Thank you, Billy. Thank you.
1320
01:15:16,763 --> 01:15:20,225
Excellent shirt, by the way.
I think that may be my favourite so far.
1321
01:15:25,981 --> 01:15:29,443
So one Scotch, and one...
1322
01:15:33,405 --> 01:15:34,698
Hi.
1323
01:15:36,199 --> 01:15:38,869
- Hey.
-Hey. You here for dinner?
1324
01:15:38,952 --> 01:15:42,289
- No. No, I had a Spiedie earlier.
-Sorry to hear that.
1325
01:15:43,957 --> 01:15:46,501
Um, no. I just wanted to tell you something
1326
01:15:46,585 --> 01:15:49,588
and I didn't want you to hear it
in front of the whole class.
1327
01:15:49,671 --> 01:15:51,173
Weldon knows about Karen.
1328
01:15:51,256 --> 01:15:54,885
She's gonna put me in front of
the Ethics Committee, unless I leave.
1329
01:15:55,927 --> 01:15:58,346
Whoa.
1330
01:15:58,430 --> 01:16:00,557
- What are you going to do?
-I don't think I have a choice.
1331
01:16:00,640 --> 01:16:04,102
There'd be a hearing, it would inevitably
go public and everyone in LA would know.
1332
01:16:04,186 --> 01:16:07,397
- Not that they care, but then...
-And then your son would find out.
1333
01:16:07,481 --> 01:16:08,732
Exactly. Yeah.
1334
01:16:08,815 --> 01:16:10,817
Well, do you want to stay?
1335
01:16:10,901 --> 01:16:13,028
- The issue is whether I can stay.
-Yes.
1336
01:16:13,278 --> 01:16:15,489
- First, you gotta go to Weldon.
-And say what?
1337
01:16:15,572 --> 01:16:19,076
I've already bought her every Jane Austen
gift short of a "Hello, Mr Darcy" thong.
1338
01:16:19,159 --> 01:16:22,579
You tell her that you did an incredibly
stupid thing. Which it was.
1339
01:16:22,662 --> 01:16:24,790
Yes, yes. I think we've already
covered that ground very well.
1340
01:16:24,873 --> 01:16:27,918
And then you tell her that you didn't know
that it was against school rules
1341
01:16:28,001 --> 01:16:31,838
and that she was over 21,
according to her fake ID.
1342
01:16:31,922 --> 01:16:33,215
Yes, fair point. Yes.
1343
01:16:33,298 --> 01:16:35,008
And then you tell her how sorry you are.
1344
01:16:35,092 --> 01:16:38,386
Do you think that's really going to work with
a woman who practically wears a bonnet?
1345
01:16:38,470 --> 01:16:40,180
I think it's worth a shot.
1346
01:16:44,017 --> 01:16:47,979
Here you are.
I'll be right back for your dinner order.
1347
01:16:52,359 --> 01:16:54,653
I think I should just go quietly.
1348
01:16:56,696 --> 01:16:59,491
OK. Whatever you want.
1349
01:16:59,574 --> 01:17:02,285
I guess that it will give you more time
to work on your Matt Damon movie.
1350
01:17:02,369 --> 01:17:06,706
Lord, no.
Look, there is no Matt Damon movie.
1351
01:17:06,790 --> 01:17:10,752
- What? So, all that was just...
-it was a lie. it was a lie.
1352
01:17:10,836 --> 01:17:12,879
Yeah. I'm sorry. There's no movie at all.
1353
01:17:12,963 --> 01:17:17,467
As a matter of fact, the only reason
I'm here is because I can't get a job.
1354
01:17:17,551 --> 01:17:19,553
But you do have a job.
1355
01:17:19,636 --> 01:17:22,139
You mean teaching? Well, yeah.
Number one, I'm no good at it,
1356
01:17:22,222 --> 01:17:25,267
and number two,
I don't have it any more, so...
1357
01:17:25,350 --> 01:17:27,978
But you don't know that
until you go to Weldon.
1358
01:17:28,061 --> 01:17:30,897
Holly, I wish I shared your faith
that if you just push yourself hard enough,
1359
01:17:30,981 --> 01:17:32,566
everything will work out.
1360
01:17:32,649 --> 01:17:37,737
It's very American, like country music,
or, I don't know, obesity. But it's not true.
1361
01:17:37,821 --> 01:17:40,282
You know, it won't make anyone talented,
1362
01:17:40,365 --> 01:17:42,576
it won't get me a job,
and it won't make my son call me.
1363
01:17:42,659 --> 01:17:46,371
I don't understand. Why are you reducing me
to some kind of optimism machine?
1364
01:17:46,454 --> 01:17:49,416
You think I wake up in a motivational video?
This is what I believe.
1365
01:17:49,499 --> 01:17:51,543
I believe what I believe.
This is what I'm teaching my girls.
1366
01:17:51,626 --> 01:17:53,587
Really, and how are you
teaching them that?
1367
01:17:53,670 --> 01:17:56,381
By contemplating marrying someone
because he's steady and secure?
1368
01:17:56,464 --> 01:17:58,842
I don't understand.
So now, you're giving me parenting advice?
1369
01:17:58,925 --> 01:18:01,386
- If you like to dish it out...
-I thought you wanted to talk this through.
1370
01:18:01,469 --> 01:18:03,513
I don't understand.
What is going on with you?
1371
01:18:03,597 --> 01:18:05,765
- Miss? We're ready to order now.
- I'm just saying...
1372
01:18:08,268 --> 01:18:09,811
Be right there.
1373
01:18:12,230 --> 01:18:13,481
Watch it!
1374
01:18:17,736 --> 01:18:21,323
Well, listen. You've got to
get me something. Anything. A rewrite...
1375
01:18:21,406 --> 01:18:25,869
I'll work on reality TV
as a writer or a contestant.
1376
01:18:25,952 --> 01:18:29,080
Keith, I'm really sorry.
It's hard times out here.
1377
01:18:29,164 --> 01:18:30,540
-- It's not just you, either. It's...
1378
01:18:30,624 --> 01:18:34,377
Wait a minute. There's some kind of
riot going on. I'll call you back.
1379
01:18:34,753 --> 01:18:36,504
Dude, not cool, man.
1380
01:18:36,588 --> 01:18:37,714
ls the party over?
1381
01:18:37,797 --> 01:18:41,635
- Mr Michaels.
-Sara, what's all the ruckus?
1382
01:18:41,718 --> 01:18:46,056
I don't know. I was coming to the party
and I saw cops and paramedics...
1383
01:18:46,139 --> 01:18:48,225
I wasn't going to drink.
1384
01:18:48,308 --> 01:18:50,685
It's fine, Sara.
If anyone needs one, it's you.
1385
01:18:50,769 --> 01:18:52,395
- All right, people! Clear the way!
- My God!
1386
01:18:52,479 --> 01:18:54,147
- Is he gonna be OK?
- It's Billy.
1387
01:18:54,231 --> 01:18:56,566
Excuse me. What's going on?
1388
01:18:56,650 --> 01:19:00,111
Some hazing thing,
made him drink a half a bottle of vodka.
1389
01:19:00,195 --> 01:19:03,114
- He'll probably be OK.
- He should join a sorority.
1390
01:19:17,587 --> 01:19:20,840
All right, there are easier ways to get out
of finishing your third act, you know.
1391
01:19:21,341 --> 01:19:22,842
Mr Michaels.
1392
01:19:23,176 --> 01:19:24,511
Hey.
1393
01:19:24,594 --> 01:19:30,100
Those guys just kept saying
"One more, Obi-Wan, one more."
1394
01:19:30,183 --> 01:19:33,520
They didn't want me in the frat.
I'm such an idiot.
1395
01:19:33,895 --> 01:19:37,941
No, you are not an idiot, Billy.
You're, you know, you're weird.
1396
01:19:38,024 --> 01:19:40,402
But half the successful people
in Hollywood are weird.
1397
01:19:41,695 --> 01:19:45,782
Talking of which, I was thinking
about your screenplay, and I think
1398
01:19:45,865 --> 01:19:50,078
if you love Star Wars, write Star Wars.
1399
01:19:50,161 --> 01:19:54,332
Butjust give it a little twist, you know?
For example, bad version...
1400
01:19:54,833 --> 01:19:59,754
College guy who's obsessed with Star Wars
meets a similarly-obsessed Star Wars girl.
1401
01:19:59,838 --> 01:20:02,382
Did you ever see a film called Marty?
1402
01:20:02,465 --> 01:20:04,843
OK, I think you could write a story like that.
1403
01:20:04,926 --> 01:20:06,970
- In fact, I think that could be...
- Billy, honey?
1404
01:20:07,053 --> 01:20:08,638
Mom, Dad.
1405
01:20:08,722 --> 01:20:11,474
Hi. I'm Keith Michaels.
I'm a teacher. I teach Billy.
1406
01:20:11,933 --> 01:20:15,020
- And I'll give you your privacy. Yeah?
-Thank you.
1407
01:20:17,397 --> 01:20:19,524
- Billy...
- Are you OK?
1408
01:20:19,607 --> 01:20:22,319
- Yeah, I'm fine, Mom.
- I'm so happy you're OK.
1409
01:20:22,402 --> 01:20:25,071
You really had your mother worried,
I'll tell you that much.
1410
01:20:25,155 --> 01:20:26,740
Sorry about that.
1411
01:21:06,613 --> 01:21:08,615
Afternoon. Hello.
1412
01:21:11,326 --> 01:21:12,369
So...
1413
01:21:12,452 --> 01:21:14,120
Sara told us what you did for Billy.
1414
01:21:14,746 --> 01:21:16,122
I didn't do anything.
1415
01:21:16,206 --> 01:21:17,957
The guys at that frat are such jerks.
1416
01:21:18,041 --> 01:21:21,211
We're all gonna go visit Billy this afternoon,
if you'd like to come.
1417
01:21:22,253 --> 01:21:27,300
I would, Rosa. Um, but...
I actually have to leave town today.
1418
01:21:28,093 --> 01:21:30,303
As it turns out, unfortunately...
1419
01:21:30,387 --> 01:21:33,390
I am not gonna be able
to finish the rest of this semester.
1420
01:21:35,225 --> 01:21:36,518
But...
1421
01:21:36,601 --> 01:21:40,146
I've spoken to Dr Lerner, and Clara Foss,
the renowned poet, will be taking over.
1422
01:21:40,230 --> 01:21:41,564
So you'll be in good hands.
1423
01:21:41,815 --> 01:21:43,525
Well, what about our screenplays?
1424
01:21:44,150 --> 01:21:47,529
I am sorry, not to be able to finish
your third acts with you.
1425
01:21:47,987 --> 01:21:51,491
And I owe you an apology
for our last meeting. You know...
1426
01:21:52,158 --> 01:21:56,704
What I was saying about
writing being meaningless...
1427
01:22:01,126 --> 01:22:04,295
In a movie that I wrote many years ago...
1428
01:22:04,379 --> 01:22:08,800
An 11-year-old girl finds herself
an angel in Heaven, and she's...
1429
01:22:08,883 --> 01:22:12,554
Understandably bereaved,
missing her family and her friends
1430
01:22:12,637 --> 01:22:14,639
and all the life she'll never have.
1431
01:22:14,722 --> 01:22:19,185
But an older angel tells her that 11
is actually a wonderful age to be in Heaven.
1432
01:22:19,310 --> 01:22:24,482
Because at 11, everything you love and hate
really stays true
1433
01:22:24,566 --> 01:22:30,405
while mortal life is a long, losing struggle
not to compromise those feelings.
1434
01:22:31,239 --> 01:22:37,287
I think that's a bit the case with writing.
It's our 11-year-old selves saying,
1435
01:22:37,370 --> 01:22:40,290
"Yes, that's funny", or "no, that's stupid".
1436
01:22:40,373 --> 01:22:43,710
You know, Sara may come at it
from one direction, Andrea, from another.
1437
01:22:43,793 --> 01:22:46,379
But it's real.
1438
01:22:46,463 --> 01:22:48,298
And true.
1439
01:22:50,884 --> 01:22:53,803
Anyway, I wanted to say thank you all.
1440
01:22:53,887 --> 01:22:57,348
It's been an honour and a privilege.
1441
01:23:22,540 --> 01:23:24,667
I can't wait to see the Matt Damon movie.
1442
01:23:24,751 --> 01:23:27,420
Thanks. Yeah. Thank you, Flo.
1443
01:23:29,255 --> 01:23:30,882
I really enjoyed your class.
1444
01:23:30,965 --> 01:23:32,926
Thank you, Rosa. Thanks.
1445
01:23:34,093 --> 01:23:35,803
I've really enjoyed the class.
1446
01:23:37,180 --> 01:23:40,016
- She enjoyed the class.
-That was nice. Thank you, Rachel.
1447
01:23:40,099 --> 01:23:42,060
And thank you, Maya, for translating.
1448
01:23:42,685 --> 01:23:44,812
You helped me find my voice.
1449
01:23:47,065 --> 01:23:48,441
I'll never forgive you.
1450
01:23:50,443 --> 01:23:53,071
Here's your rewrite. Read it in hell.
1451
01:23:55,406 --> 01:23:59,244
Mr Michaels... I don't know how to thank you.
1452
01:23:59,786 --> 01:24:02,038
Thank you, Clem.
1453
01:24:02,121 --> 01:24:04,249
You've made me quite jealous.
1454
01:24:05,959 --> 01:24:07,961
Brilliant. Brilliant.
1455
01:24:10,797 --> 01:24:11,881
So...
1456
01:24:13,800 --> 01:24:15,552
- Now, listen...
-Good luck.
1457
01:24:15,635 --> 01:24:16,970
Write.
1458
01:24:17,345 --> 01:24:19,097
No, I definitely will. Or email.
1459
01:24:19,180 --> 01:24:21,766
I meant a script.
I need something to watch with my girls.
1460
01:24:22,058 --> 01:24:23,226
Right.
1461
01:24:23,726 --> 01:24:26,062
I loved the class.
1462
01:24:26,145 --> 01:24:28,898
And you can teach, because I got better.
1463
01:24:29,649 --> 01:24:32,610
--Yeah. Look, just... Sorry. Hold on, one...
1464
01:24:32,694 --> 01:24:34,237
I have a class.
1465
01:24:43,454 --> 01:24:45,915
I meant to tell you never to call again
unless it was good news.
1466
01:24:45,999 --> 01:24:49,419
Wish granted.
Paragon wants to buy Clem's script.
1467
01:24:49,502 --> 01:24:51,588
I spoke to Jenny Glick
and Greg Nathan this morning.
1468
01:24:51,879 --> 01:24:54,966
The same people who love me
and are huge, huge fans
1469
01:24:55,049 --> 01:24:57,010
and rejected me from the sequel
to my own movie?
1470
01:24:57,176 --> 01:25:00,471
I know. But they love this. And I told them
if they want it, you're producing.
1471
01:25:00,555 --> 01:25:01,889
And they said?
1472
01:25:01,973 --> 01:25:03,474
Well, they want David Shore
to executive produce,
1473
01:25:03,558 --> 01:25:04,601
but they're going to give you a credit
1474
01:25:04,684 --> 01:25:06,811
and enough money to get you back home.
Greg is...
1475
01:25:06,894 --> 01:25:08,396
- Shh!
- I'm sorry.
1476
01:25:08,479 --> 01:25:10,940
Greg and Jenny are going to be
at a premiere in Manhattan tonight,
1477
01:25:11,024 --> 01:25:12,984
and they want to meet Clem. And you.
1478
01:25:13,526 --> 01:25:14,986
Get back to LA as soon as you can
1479
01:25:15,069 --> 01:25:16,779
so that we can ride this credit,
1480
01:25:16,863 --> 01:25:18,781
-set up some meetings. Right? I'll...
-Shh!
1481
01:25:20,283 --> 01:25:22,035
- Congratulations.
-Yeah.
1482
01:25:23,536 --> 01:25:25,246
Fantastic.
1483
01:25:45,850 --> 01:25:46,934
I hope you have a good trip.
1484
01:25:47,018 --> 01:25:49,062
Thanks. And thanks again for everything.
1485
01:25:49,145 --> 01:25:52,023
Well, hold on.
You're not getting away that easy.
1486
01:25:52,106 --> 01:25:53,608
Get over here.
1487
01:25:54,776 --> 01:25:56,069
God.
1488
01:26:46,452 --> 01:26:48,413
So, Clem, tell us how this happened.
1489
01:26:49,038 --> 01:26:52,792
There was a screenwriting seminar,
so I submitted some pages.
1490
01:26:52,917 --> 01:26:54,585
You had already written the whole thing?
1491
01:26:54,669 --> 01:26:57,255
Well, I had a draft
and Mr Michaels asked to see it.
1492
01:26:57,338 --> 01:26:59,382
He brought the script to a whole other level.
1493
01:26:59,465 --> 01:27:03,720
- I'm sure. We love Keith.
-Huge, huge, fans.
1494
01:27:03,803 --> 01:27:06,139
So tell us a little bit about
how this idea came into being.
1495
01:27:06,222 --> 01:27:08,391
I don't know where the ideas come from,
usually.
1496
01:27:08,474 --> 01:27:11,227
And, I wanted to write something fresh,
something different that...
1497
01:27:11,310 --> 01:27:13,146
- It is fresh. It is different.
-it's just a fresh voice.
1498
01:27:13,229 --> 01:27:14,814
It's a fresh voice.
And if we can get a Fanning sister...
1499
01:27:14,897 --> 01:27:16,816
- Do they have a young sister?
-Excuse me. Can I get the butter?
1500
01:27:16,899 --> 01:27:18,818
It started a few years ago now,
already, I think.
1501
01:27:18,901 --> 01:27:19,986
- Nice.
- Almost three years ago. Yeah.
1502
01:27:20,069 --> 01:27:22,321
So I was watching the History Channel
and there's a special
1503
01:27:22,405 --> 01:27:25,700
on the history of the world,
or modern civilisation...
1504
01:27:25,783 --> 01:27:29,495
And I was watching it
and I just found it so interesting
1505
01:27:29,579 --> 01:27:32,623
how, you know, the natural progression
of things, and how everything just seemed
1506
01:27:32,707 --> 01:27:34,083
to link perfectly together.
1507
01:27:34,167 --> 01:27:36,294
Because we like
this story, we like the protagonist.
1508
01:27:36,377 --> 01:27:37,378
A female protagonist?
1509
01:27:37,462 --> 01:27:39,255
It's exactly what
we've both been looking...
1510
01:27:39,338 --> 01:27:41,382
- It's exactly what we need.
- It's what the world needs.
1511
01:27:41,466 --> 01:27:43,885
Edgy comedies with
a kick-ass-type woman.
1512
01:27:43,968 --> 01:27:46,053
Huge, huge fans.
GREG". We love Keith.
1513
01:27:46,137 --> 01:27:48,181
Or into time, sure. Other time periods.
1514
01:27:48,264 --> 01:27:49,766
Huge, huge fans.
GREG". Technology.
1515
01:27:49,849 --> 01:27:50,892
it's really incredible...
1516
01:27:50,975 --> 01:27:52,435
Sorry, guys, excuse me.
1517
01:27:52,518 --> 01:27:54,896
Can I have a quick moment with Clem?
1518
01:27:55,563 --> 01:27:59,692
- Little story conference?
-Kind of, yeah. Come on. Come here.
1519
01:28:00,067 --> 01:28:01,486
- Excuse me.
-Sure.
1520
01:28:07,533 --> 01:28:09,202
You're doing brilliantly.
1521
01:28:09,285 --> 01:28:12,955
So brilliantly that I am going to leave you
to finish the meeting on your own.
1522
01:28:13,039 --> 01:28:16,042
What? No, my lmodium
hasn't even completely kicked in.
1523
01:28:16,125 --> 01:28:18,920
Listen to me. You've probably
missed the last plane.
1524
01:28:19,003 --> 01:28:20,421
So I'm gonna give you money for the bus.
1525
01:28:20,505 --> 01:28:22,298
No, no, I'm staying
with my parents in the city.
1526
01:28:22,381 --> 01:28:23,508
- OK, that's fine...
-Mr Michaels,
1527
01:28:23,591 --> 01:28:24,801
I can't go back in there without you.
1528
01:28:24,884 --> 01:28:27,804
Clem, listen to me. Do not grow a tumour.
1529
01:28:27,887 --> 01:28:32,350
They are going to make your movie,
and you'll be feted and rich,
1530
01:28:32,433 --> 01:28:34,560
and surrounded by women.
Can you handle that?
1531
01:28:35,144 --> 01:28:37,396
I don't want to be feted.
And the money would be fine.
1532
01:28:37,480 --> 01:28:40,775
- But the only woman I really want is Rosa.
-Rosa from our class?
1533
01:28:41,859 --> 01:28:43,903
Really? Good choice. She's gorgeous.
1534
01:28:44,028 --> 01:28:46,197
Not of course that I notice women of that age.
1535
01:28:46,280 --> 01:28:49,033
- Mr Michaels, I don't feel comfortable.
-OK, listen to me.
1536
01:28:49,116 --> 01:28:50,827
A thousand years ago
1537
01:28:50,910 --> 01:28:56,249
I was in your position. And you know,
just enjoy it. It's glorious fun.
1538
01:28:57,792 --> 01:29:00,586
And remember, they need you
more than you need them.
1539
01:29:01,838 --> 01:29:04,549
This is your ride. It's not mine, OK?
1540
01:29:10,596 --> 01:29:12,515
- Hey, he's back.
-Hey. Thanks.
1541
01:29:12,598 --> 01:29:14,267
- Sans glasses.
-Yeah.
1542
01:29:14,350 --> 01:29:16,310
You look mighty handsome.
1543
01:29:16,394 --> 01:29:17,436
Thank you.
1544
01:29:17,812 --> 01:29:21,357
So this is what we're thinking about,
we're discussing this...
1545
01:29:21,440 --> 01:29:24,026
We don't want to get ahead of ourselves,
but, franchise.
1546
01:29:24,110 --> 01:29:27,488
Yeah. We're really excited about it.
There's actually so much that we can do...
1547
01:30:31,844 --> 01:30:33,304
- Hi.
-Keith.
1548
01:30:33,387 --> 01:30:35,056
I'm so sorry to bother you this late. I just...
1549
01:30:35,139 --> 01:30:37,683
- I did try to call, but there was no answer.
-That's OK.
1550
01:30:37,767 --> 01:30:41,854
Just sitting around with the family,
watching Eat Pray Love.
1551
01:30:43,606 --> 01:30:45,441
I'll be right back. Go on without me.
1552
01:30:45,524 --> 01:30:46,609
You sure, honey?
1553
01:30:46,692 --> 01:30:48,361
Yeah. You can tell me what I missed.
1554
01:30:50,488 --> 01:30:52,281
OK.
1555
01:30:52,365 --> 01:30:55,326
Listen, I did not expect to see you again.
1556
01:30:55,701 --> 01:31:00,414
No, well, I have decided to take my chances
at the hearing, if it's not too late.
1557
01:31:00,915 --> 01:31:02,583
Really?
1558
01:31:02,667 --> 01:31:04,043
May I ask why?
1559
01:31:04,543 --> 01:31:06,545
Yes. I'm not quite sure.
1560
01:31:06,712 --> 01:31:08,798
Well, I'm glad you've thought it through.
1561
01:31:08,881 --> 01:31:12,134
And I was wondering if you could get me
a meeting with Professor Weldon,
1562
01:31:12,218 --> 01:31:14,303
cos I'd rather not just show up at her door.
1563
01:31:14,387 --> 01:31:16,138
- No, I think that would be dangerous.
-Yeah.
1564
01:31:17,515 --> 01:31:19,392
Sure. I can arrange that.
1565
01:31:19,475 --> 01:31:21,477
Thank you. Thank you.
1566
01:31:21,560 --> 01:31:23,813
And I wanted to say
I'm sorry for what happened
1567
01:31:23,896 --> 01:31:25,982
and for putting you in an awkward position.
1568
01:31:26,065 --> 01:31:29,110
Honey,
you've got to see this.
1569
01:31:29,193 --> 01:31:32,697
OK, just keep talking
and do not make me go back in there.
1570
01:31:32,780 --> 01:31:35,199
Well, they obviously want
to share the experience with you, you know.
1571
01:31:35,282 --> 01:31:37,326
It must be wonderful to have a family like that.
1572
01:31:37,410 --> 01:31:39,203
It's a pain.
1573
01:31:40,121 --> 01:31:42,164
Every week, movie night.
1574
01:31:42,248 --> 01:31:43,499
Yeah.
1575
01:31:43,582 --> 01:31:45,626
- Always a chick flick.
-Yeah.
1576
01:31:45,710 --> 01:31:48,796
And my daughters usually
bake these sugar cookies.
1577
01:31:48,879 --> 01:31:49,964
Yeah.
1578
01:31:50,047 --> 01:31:51,716
- Which they will not let me have...
-Yeah.
1579
01:31:51,799 --> 01:31:53,759
Because“.
1580
01:31:53,843 --> 01:31:56,846
They're concerned about my, cholesterol.
1581
01:31:59,265 --> 01:32:02,935
So they give me, um,
1582
01:32:03,019 --> 01:32:04,687
non-fat popcorn.
1583
01:32:04,770 --> 01:32:06,772
That's great.
1584
01:32:59,366 --> 01:33:04,038
I was not formally aware
that these relationships were prohibited.
1585
01:33:04,663 --> 01:33:07,458
I did almost immediately break it off
1586
01:33:07,541 --> 01:33:11,087
and I deeply regret the entire incident.
1587
01:33:20,679 --> 01:33:22,389
You arrived on campus,
1588
01:33:23,474 --> 01:33:25,142
became inebriated,
1589
01:33:26,018 --> 01:33:29,396
insulted members of the faculty.
1590
01:33:30,106 --> 01:33:35,444
You dismissed your class with the intention
of not having them return for a month.
1591
01:33:35,528 --> 01:33:39,573
And that class bears a suspicious
resemblance to a beauty pageant.
1592
01:33:39,657 --> 01:33:40,783
Not the men.
1593
01:33:40,866 --> 01:33:44,662
Which leads me to wonder if they weren't
assembled for your own viewing pleasure
1594
01:33:44,745 --> 01:33:48,332
evidenced by the fact that you carried on an
inappropriate relationship with one of them.
1595
01:33:48,415 --> 01:33:51,961
And even if you were not aware
of our policy on that matter,
1596
01:33:52,044 --> 01:33:56,507
it strains credulity that you didn't have
the good sense to know that it was wrong.
1597
01:33:56,590 --> 01:34:01,595
So unless my information is faulty,
this Ethics Hearing is a foregone conclusion.
1598
01:34:03,556 --> 01:34:07,143
Professor Weldon, you're entirely correct.
1599
01:34:07,226 --> 01:34:11,147
I behaved unprofessionally
and I can present no good reason
1600
01:34:11,230 --> 01:34:13,440
why you should extend me
the privilege of staying here.
1601
01:34:13,732 --> 01:34:17,987
Except to say, that when I was
at the Binghamton Airport yesterday...
1602
01:34:18,070 --> 01:34:22,074
I was pulled aside
by a charming geriatric TSA officer
1603
01:34:22,158 --> 01:34:24,160
who needed to inspect my award.
1604
01:34:24,243 --> 01:34:29,415
And she started telling me that her security
post was the perfect setting for a movie,
1605
01:34:29,498 --> 01:34:34,670
but she couldn't write because, as she put it,
"Either you're born with it or you're not".
1606
01:34:34,753 --> 01:34:37,965
You see, a few months ago,
I would have agreed with that.
1607
01:34:38,549 --> 01:34:42,511
But suddenly, I found myself
explaining the three-act structure
1608
01:34:42,595 --> 01:34:46,974
and the basics of outlining until she had
to go and pat down a suspicious man
1609
01:34:47,057 --> 01:34:48,559
who kept readjusting his shorts.
1610
01:34:48,642 --> 01:34:51,645
And I realised I was trying to teach her.
1611
01:34:51,729 --> 01:34:56,275
Me, the person
who did nothing but mock teaching
1612
01:34:56,358 --> 01:34:59,737
as an absurd profession
practised only by desperate failures.
1613
01:35:00,863 --> 01:35:03,282
I mean, obviously not at the university level.
1614
01:35:03,365 --> 01:35:06,911
But it has, as a new friend told me it might...
1615
01:35:08,454 --> 01:35:10,664
Got its hooks into me.
1616
01:35:10,748 --> 01:35:15,669
So, I ask for your leniency,
because I think that,
1617
01:35:15,753 --> 01:35:17,546
you know, with a little effort,
1618
01:35:17,630 --> 01:35:21,467
I could possibly be quite good at this job
and actually worthy of your esteem.
1619
01:35:22,468 --> 01:35:26,388
And because these kids
have actually reminded me
1620
01:35:26,472 --> 01:35:29,225
why I wanted to write in the first place.
1621
01:35:30,643 --> 01:35:33,646
But, mostly, because I can't bear
the thought of anyone else
1622
01:35:33,729 --> 01:35:36,357
getting to help my class with their third acts.
1623
01:35:47,868 --> 01:35:52,539
Mr Michaels, I am not popular.
My students don't like me.
1624
01:35:55,084 --> 01:35:59,338
And it is because they assume I am an Elinor.
1625
01:36:01,006 --> 01:36:02,341
An Elinor?
1626
01:36:03,217 --> 01:36:04,468
From Sense and Sensibility.
1627
01:36:04,551 --> 01:36:06,595
Yes, yes. That Elinor. Yes.
1628
01:36:06,679 --> 01:36:10,724
Prudent, cautious, conservative.
And I do have that side of me.
1629
01:36:10,808 --> 01:36:12,851
But there's another side as well.
1630
01:36:12,935 --> 01:36:15,271
Well, that's nice. It's always nice
when people have so many sides.
1631
01:36:15,354 --> 01:36:16,689
It's like a Rubik's Cube.
1632
01:36:16,772 --> 01:36:18,190
I have a Marianne side.
1633
01:36:19,525 --> 01:36:21,860
Unpredictable, impetuous...
-Yes.
1634
01:36:21,944 --> 01:36:23,696
...irrational sometimes.
1635
01:36:23,779 --> 01:36:28,909
You have appealed to that side and
I will indulge it this one last time, because...
1636
01:36:28,993 --> 01:36:32,037
As Miss Austen said...
1637
01:36:33,914 --> 01:36:38,502
"Selfishness must always be forgiven, you
know, because there is no hope for a cure."
1638
01:36:39,003 --> 01:36:41,964
Did she say that? That's quite clever.
1639
01:36:42,047 --> 01:36:44,300
Mansfield Park.
1640
01:36:44,383 --> 01:36:46,885
The key to good teaching, Mr Michaels
1641
01:36:46,969 --> 01:36:50,347
is the willingness
to always learn something new.
1642
01:36:51,765 --> 01:36:53,559
I will remember that.
1643
01:36:54,059 --> 01:36:56,186
I want you to see something.
1644
01:36:59,440 --> 01:37:00,441
Open it.
1645
01:37:02,735 --> 01:37:05,279
- Screenplay?
-Don't be idiotic. A memoir.
1646
01:37:06,405 --> 01:37:09,825
Based on my experience
of a lifetime teaching literature.
1647
01:37:09,908 --> 01:37:12,328
I'd like an unbiased honest appraisal.
1648
01:37:12,411 --> 01:37:13,912
I'd be honoured.
1649
01:37:14,413 --> 01:37:17,082
But if it were to become a movie,
Meryl Streep should play me.
1650
01:37:17,166 --> 01:37:19,293
Yes, I will read it with that in mind.
1651
01:37:19,376 --> 01:37:21,295
But don't take it. That's my personal copy.
1652
01:37:21,378 --> 01:37:23,797
- Sorry.
- I'll email you.
1653
01:37:23,881 --> 01:37:26,717
Now, I have to prepare for a class...
1654
01:37:26,800 --> 01:37:27,885
Yes, yes, yes.
1655
01:37:27,968 --> 01:37:29,928
So if you don't mind...
1656
01:37:31,513 --> 01:37:32,973
Nice bag.
1657
01:37:33,057 --> 01:37:34,308
- Please leave.
-Yes.
1658
01:37:38,187 --> 01:37:39,188
Hello?
1659
01:37:39,271 --> 01:37:40,773
What, you walked out on the meeting?
1660
01:37:40,856 --> 01:37:42,816
I did. How'd it go otherwise?
1661
01:37:42,900 --> 01:37:45,319
Well they loved Clem,
and they're making the deal.
1662
01:37:45,402 --> 01:37:48,614
Fantastic. Listen, I will be very happy
to work with him on the script,
1663
01:37:48,697 --> 01:37:50,157
but only as his teacher.
1664
01:37:50,240 --> 01:37:52,368
So now you want to stay in Binghamton?
1665
01:37:52,451 --> 01:37:54,370
Well, I've been thinking.
1666
01:37:54,453 --> 01:37:57,498
Maybe I will write a screenplay
about a washed-up writer
1667
01:37:57,581 --> 01:37:59,958
who goes to teach
at an out-of-the-way university.
1668
01:38:00,209 --> 01:38:03,253
You know what?
That is a great idea for Matt Damon.
1669
01:38:03,337 --> 01:38:05,839
I'm going to call his producing partner,
and I'm going to call you back.
1670
01:38:05,923 --> 01:38:08,300
Excellent. But not between 12:00 and 1:30.
1671
01:38:08,384 --> 01:38:10,719
I have class and will not be
picking up the phone.
1672
01:38:14,098 --> 01:38:15,307
Thanks.
1673
01:38:21,647 --> 01:38:22,815
$16.98.
1674
01:38:25,692 --> 01:38:28,987
Dumb.
Buy an umbrella on the first sunny day.
1675
01:38:29,363 --> 01:38:30,906
-It's raining.
-it's going to clear up.
1676
01:38:31,198 --> 01:38:32,366
I see.
1677
01:38:33,409 --> 01:38:37,246
So, it appears that I'm going
to stay here and teach for a bit.
1678
01:38:38,580 --> 01:38:41,291
And I would also like to buy this book.
1679
01:38:42,334 --> 01:38:45,003
-$24.95.
-Yeah, complete rip-off. OK, forget the book.
1680
01:38:46,046 --> 01:38:49,258
- Will there be anything else?
-Yes.
1681
01:38:49,341 --> 01:38:52,636
I don't think you're an optimism machine.
1682
01:38:52,719 --> 01:38:56,765
I know how hard you work at being a mum
and a student and I'm in awe.
1683
01:38:56,849 --> 01:38:59,143
I'm completely in awe. And...
1684
01:38:59,226 --> 01:39:02,855
Although I was only gone for a few hours,
I found myself missing you.
1685
01:39:02,938 --> 01:39:05,732
Now it's quite possible that
if I'd stayed away a few more hours
1686
01:39:05,816 --> 01:39:09,153
I'd have just completely got over that,
but now we'll never know.
1687
01:39:09,236 --> 01:39:13,699
So the answer is yes, I'm hoping
that there will be something else.
1688
01:39:15,409 --> 01:39:16,743
Much more else.
1689
01:39:21,874 --> 01:39:25,669
Right. Well, then, I will see you in class.
1690
01:39:27,671 --> 01:39:30,549
But, in looking over my script,
1691
01:39:30,632 --> 01:39:33,802
I did see what you meant
about the random structuring.
1692
01:39:33,886 --> 01:39:38,515
And I'm not so sure
where the Jerry character fits in any more.
1693
01:39:39,558 --> 01:39:42,603
Well, that's very encouraging to hear.
1694
01:39:42,686 --> 01:39:44,730
I mean, not for Jerry, obviously.
1695
01:39:44,813 --> 01:39:50,235
And it makes me think that if I just try as hard
as I can and really, really believe in myself,
1696
01:39:51,528 --> 01:39:53,071
I can make my dreams come true.
1697
01:39:53,155 --> 01:39:56,116
You know, when you say it,
it really does sound ridiculous.
1698
01:39:56,200 --> 01:39:57,910
- Maybe it's the accent.
1699
01:39:59,495 --> 01:40:02,372
What? Yes, I'm sorry. Go ahead.
1700
01:40:08,295 --> 01:40:10,172
That can't be right.
1701
01:40:10,255 --> 01:40:11,840
It's right.
1702
01:40:12,716 --> 01:40:15,135
What'd I tell you? Worth the wait.
1703
01:40:15,552 --> 01:40:18,138
OK, I just want you to know...
1704
01:40:19,097 --> 01:40:22,267
I will respect the fact that you are my student
until the end of the semester.
1705
01:40:22,351 --> 01:40:23,852
OK. Thank you.
1706
01:40:25,270 --> 01:40:27,272
When is the end of the semester?
1707
01:40:27,356 --> 01:40:29,233
You'll know.
1708
01:40:44,623 --> 01:40:48,919
No, no, no. Thank you. Thanks, that's truly...
1709
01:40:49,962 --> 01:40:53,465
Billy! Yes, welcome back!
1710
01:40:55,842 --> 01:40:57,636
Welcome back, Billy.
1711
01:40:59,304 --> 01:41:04,226
And for those of you who were looking
forward to the poetic charms of Clara Foss...
1712
01:41:04,309 --> 01:41:06,144
I apologise. I'm back.
1713
01:41:09,481 --> 01:41:12,442
Back from New York,
where if you don't know already.
1714
01:41:12,526 --> 01:41:15,362
Clem has just sold his first script
to Hollywood.
1715
01:41:19,950 --> 01:41:22,786
You deserve it. Your writing's brilliant.
1716
01:41:22,869 --> 01:41:25,247
I would also like to say that today
we will be taking a look
1717
01:41:25,330 --> 01:41:28,417
at some new and truly exciting pages
from Karen Gabney.
1718
01:41:29,918 --> 01:41:34,464
With regard to my premature departure
from our last class...
1719
01:41:34,548 --> 01:41:36,800
I'm sorry. The truth is, um...
1720
01:41:38,677 --> 01:41:40,178
Somewhat complicated.
1721
01:41:41,972 --> 01:41:44,349
Well it's my third act, I suppose,
1722
01:41:44,433 --> 01:41:47,060
and I will let you see it
when I have finished my teacher script.
1723
01:41:47,144 --> 01:41:49,605
And I will want your complete
and honest opinions.
1724
01:41:49,688 --> 01:41:51,648
Though I will vastly prefer
the people who love it.
1725
01:41:53,650 --> 01:41:55,235
Good, let's get back to work.
1726
01:41:55,319 --> 01:41:57,112
--I think we were on... Hey, hang on.
1727
01:41:57,195 --> 01:41:58,614
There will be no more of that.
1728
01:41:58,697 --> 01:42:01,450
--You have my full attention from here on in.
1729
01:42:02,993 --> 01:42:04,786
OK, third acts.
1730
01:42:05,537 --> 01:42:08,957
Andrea, tell us what happens
during the dessert phase of the Bat Mitzvah.
1731
01:42:09,041 --> 01:42:10,083
- OK.
1732
01:42:10,167 --> 01:42:14,463
So they bring the cake out
and they find out that the cake isn't kosher.
1733
01:42:14,546 --> 01:42:17,257
But Alicia's parents start fighting
and accusing each other
1734
01:42:17,341 --> 01:42:20,469
of getting the wrong caterer
because there are also pigs in a blanket.
1735
01:42:20,552 --> 01:42:23,764
And Alicia starts crying because she realises
1736
01:42:23,847 --> 01:42:26,058
that she doesn't care about the cake.
1737
01:42:26,141 --> 01:42:28,644
She just wants her parents to be happy.
1738
01:42:28,727 --> 01:42:32,147
And she insists on doing her Torah
and her Haftarah portions over again
1739
01:42:32,230 --> 01:42:34,274
and it just gets so crazy.
1740
01:42:53,043 --> 01:42:55,212
A-ha! "How dost thou, sweet lord?"
1741
01:42:55,295 --> 01:43:00,759
Keith! You're back!
May I introduce Joan from State Farm.
1742
01:43:00,842 --> 01:43:03,679
Yes. Hello Joan.
He's quite a catch, isn't he?
1743
01:43:03,762 --> 01:43:07,391
He's low-risk, dependable, limited-liability.
1744
01:43:07,933 --> 01:43:10,602
"Thank Heaven, fasting,
for a good man's love."
1745
01:43:10,686 --> 01:43:12,938
As You Like It. Act Ill, Scene V.
1746
01:43:14,106 --> 01:43:15,899
It just gets me when he does that.
1747
01:43:20,028 --> 01:43:22,531
"Ken's dead. He's dead now.
1748
01:43:22,614 --> 01:43:26,326
"He'll be dead in two hours,
and then he'll be dead forever.
1749
01:43:27,077 --> 01:43:29,996
Will you marry me?
1750
01:43:30,080 --> 01:43:32,374
You're thick and stupid.
1751
01:43:32,457 --> 01:43:35,711
"You can't see the darkness
that surrounds you.
1752
01:43:35,794 --> 01:43:38,922
You make me feel alive.
1753
01:43:39,005 --> 01:43:41,133
That won't last."
1754
01:43:43,176 --> 01:43:47,556
Daddy, I think you should know,
I'm sleeping with your business partner."
1755
01:43:50,058 --> 01:43:54,646
The other day, she comes
and climbs up on my lap
1756
01:43:54,730 --> 01:43:59,943
with a book and she says, "Daddy, will you
read me this book in your scary voice?"
1757
01:44:37,147 --> 01:44:38,315
Sara.
1758
01:44:41,485 --> 01:44:44,112
OK. I admit I never watched it before.
1759
01:44:45,530 --> 01:44:49,034
- But when Johnny lifts her at the end...
-No, I know, it's very moving.
1760
01:44:50,035 --> 01:44:51,745
If you tell anyone, I'll kill you.
1761
01:44:51,828 --> 01:44:54,206
Yeah, understood. Yeah, 100%.
143189
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