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1
00:00:03,525 --> 00:00:05,831
Roger, how are
the ice-skating lesson going?
2
00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,268
Harder than I thought.
3
00:00:07,311 --> 00:00:09,183
I didn't realize I'd be teaching them.
4
00:00:09,226 --> 00:00:11,620
[ Air horn blares]
5
00:00:11,663 --> 00:00:15,624
You douche-B's ready for
my big bachelor party weekend?
6
00:00:15,667 --> 00:00:18,322
Klaus, bachelor parties are for
men who are getting married.
7
00:00:18,366 --> 00:00:20,286
You're not a man,
and you're not getting married.
8
00:00:20,324 --> 00:00:22,283
Case closed. Guilty of being wrong.
9
00:00:22,326 --> 00:00:24,502
Your sentencing will be Monday
at 9:00 a.m.
10
00:00:24,546 --> 00:00:26,200
But that's when
I'm getting married!
11
00:00:26,243 --> 00:00:28,332
Married to your work?
12
00:00:28,376 --> 00:00:29,725
No, no,
that can't be it.
13
00:00:29,768 --> 00:00:31,770
To my girlfriend,
Shoshanna.
14
00:00:31,814 --> 00:00:34,208
Shoe Hannah? The old woman in the park
15
00:00:34,251 --> 00:00:36,210
who sells shoes out
of a baby stroller?
16
00:00:36,253 --> 00:00:37,254
Shoshanna!
17
00:00:37,298 --> 00:00:39,082
She used to live
in Steve's room.
18
00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:41,084
She smoked cigarettes
on his bed.
19
00:00:41,128 --> 00:00:42,216
Ohh!
20
00:00:42,259 --> 00:00:44,087
You mean Francine!
21
00:00:44,131 --> 00:00:45,480
Seriously, guys?
22
00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:47,743
I've been talking about it
all year!
23
00:00:48,918 --> 00:00:50,354
I asked Shoshanna
to marry me.
24
00:00:50,398 --> 00:00:52,313
She choked a little bit
on her Kahlúa,
25
00:00:52,356 --> 00:00:54,097
and she said
she'll think about it!
26
00:00:55,142 --> 00:00:56,926
Shoshanna said yes!
27
00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:59,276
Well, she said, "Yeah,
I guess," but it still counts.
28
00:01:00,277 --> 00:01:01,539
She backed out!
29
00:01:02,584 --> 00:01:03,846
She's back in!
30
00:01:04,934 --> 00:01:06,762
She backed out!
31
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,809
She's back in!
I'm getting married next week!
32
00:01:10,853 --> 00:01:13,029
I think I'm gonna take
ice-skating lessons.
33
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,204
Good for you! Way to go!
34
00:01:14,248 --> 00:01:15,814
That's amazing! Good luck!
35
00:01:15,858 --> 00:01:16,815
Married?
36
00:01:16,859 --> 00:01:18,165
I'm getting married!
37
00:01:18,208 --> 00:01:19,601
To your work?
38
00:01:19,644 --> 00:01:21,168
No, no,
that can't be it.
39
00:01:22,299 --> 00:01:24,823
The wedding is Monday
at 9:00 a.m.,
40
00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:27,478
and the bachelor party
is this weekend.
41
00:01:27,522 --> 00:01:29,219
You guys have to come.
42
00:01:29,263 --> 00:01:30,960
According to an article I read,
43
00:01:31,003 --> 00:01:33,286
if you don't have anyone else with
you on your bachelor party,
44
00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:34,355
it's sad.
45
00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:35,704
Hmm.
46
00:01:35,747 --> 00:01:37,203
I really don't want to hang out
with Klaus.
47
00:01:37,227 --> 00:01:38,185
Me, neither.
48
00:01:38,228 --> 00:01:40,187
I suppose the bachelor party
49
00:01:40,230 --> 00:01:42,319
is the most sacred
of men's parties.
50
00:01:42,363 --> 00:01:46,323
To deny it would be to deny God,
the most sacred bachelor of all.
51
00:01:46,367 --> 00:01:47,368
Sounds like fun!
52
00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:48,630
No kids allowed.
53
00:01:48,673 --> 00:01:50,980
Just Stan, Roger,
and Jeff.
54
00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:52,373
Wow! I'm Jeff!
55
00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:55,158
Hayley, since the men are going away,
56
00:01:55,202 --> 00:01:57,769
you and I should have a fun girls' weekend!
57
00:01:57,813 --> 00:01:59,293
Let's get a stripper.
58
00:01:59,336 --> 00:02:00,424
Mom!
59
00:02:00,468 --> 00:02:01,860
Yes!
60
00:02:01,904 --> 00:02:04,254
Hmm. I guess this could bean opportunity
61
00:02:04,298 --> 00:02:06,865
to learn about the
complicated world of sex workers.
62
00:02:06,909 --> 00:02:08,650
No kids allowed, Steve.
63
00:02:08,693 --> 00:02:10,347
So, I have to spend
the whole weekend
64
00:02:10,391 --> 00:02:13,089
not hanging outwith
either of my parents?
65
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:16,310
I hate my liiiife!
66
00:02:18,790 --> 00:02:21,228
♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
67
00:02:21,271 --> 00:02:25,319
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
68
00:02:25,362 --> 00:02:28,191
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
69
00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:32,674
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪
70
00:02:34,502 --> 00:02:38,070
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say
71
00:02:38,114 --> 00:02:40,334
♪ Good -- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
72
00:02:40,377 --> 00:02:41,422
Aah!
73
00:02:42,901 --> 00:02:46,296
♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
74
00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:48,646
♪♪
75
00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:51,432
2010 Sebring convertible.
76
00:02:51,475 --> 00:02:53,260
It's on the secret menu
at Hertz.
77
00:02:53,303 --> 00:02:55,131
Remind me why we're going to West Virginia
78
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,654
for your party, Klaus.
79
00:02:56,698 --> 00:02:59,614
Because it's home to the
world's largest sycamore tree.
80
00:02:59,657 --> 00:03:01,268
My boy Scooter
got a blow job there,
81
00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:03,661
and I'm gonna put
his ashes under it.
82
00:03:03,705 --> 00:03:06,360
Now, guys, I downloaded
83
00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:09,014
"Joe Rogan's Ultimate
Bachelor Party Checklist."
84
00:03:09,058 --> 00:03:10,625
Let's check every box.
85
00:03:10,668 --> 00:03:14,455
First item --
"Make a joke about the bride."
86
00:03:14,498 --> 00:03:16,500
Stan, make a joke
about Shoshanna.
87
00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:17,240
Who's Shoshanna?
88
00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:19,460
Ohh! Good one, Stan!
89
00:03:19,503 --> 00:03:21,113
Okay, what's next?
90
00:03:21,157 --> 00:03:23,377
"Talk about
your favorite thing."
91
00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:26,423
I like long eyelashes
on babies.
92
00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:28,251
Mine's the Instant Pot.
93
00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:31,298
Shosh and I are doing
so many easy, healthy meals
94
00:03:31,341 --> 00:03:32,342
in our Instant Pot.
95
00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:33,387
Wait a second.
96
00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:36,390
Klaus, have you met someone?
97
00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:38,740
♪♪
98
00:03:38,783 --> 00:03:42,483
Any second now,
Rick Rod from Rod Hard Entertainment
99
00:03:42,526 --> 00:03:44,963
is gonna walk through
that front door!
100
00:03:45,007 --> 00:03:48,837
Every time I look at his picture,
I get so hot, hot, hot!
101
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:49,881
Mm-mmm!
102
00:03:49,925 --> 00:03:51,840
Now, this is a man.
103
00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:52,971
Can I see a man?
104
00:03:53,015 --> 00:03:54,538
Get outta here!
105
00:03:54,582 --> 00:03:57,280
I'm trying to get hot
with my daughter, not my son!
106
00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:58,934
[ Doorbell rings ]He's here!
107
00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:06,637
Hello, ladies.
108
00:04:06,681 --> 00:04:08,509
You're disappointed.
I can tell.
109
00:04:08,552 --> 00:04:11,076
I can read people like
other people can read a book.
110
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,643
You don't look
like your picture.
111
00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:15,342
I know!
That guy is so hot!
112
00:04:17,518 --> 00:04:19,998
No, no, no, no!
113
00:04:20,042 --> 00:04:23,088
The batteries -- Mm!
The batteries are dead.
114
00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:24,394
It's okay.
115
00:04:24,438 --> 00:04:26,875
Ahh, calm otter
floating in a river.
116
00:04:26,918 --> 00:04:28,442
Where do you keep
your "D" batteries?
117
00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:30,008
We don't have
any "D" batteries.
118
00:04:30,052 --> 00:04:32,707
You don't have
a single "D" battery
119
00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:36,101
in this castle,
Your Majesty?
120
00:04:36,145 --> 00:04:37,233
Sorry, we don't have --
121
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,366
Enough!
If I can't dance
122
00:04:39,409 --> 00:04:40,889
to Bobby Brown's
"My Prerogative,"
123
00:04:40,932 --> 00:04:43,935
then I can't get you ladies
slippin' and slidin'.
124
00:04:43,979 --> 00:04:45,720
Stay put.
I'm going for batteries.
125
00:04:45,763 --> 00:04:48,157
That's okay. You don't have to come back.
126
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:49,463
We can still pay you.
127
00:04:49,506 --> 00:04:51,465
Yeah, no offense,
but your energy
128
00:04:51,508 --> 00:04:52,988
makes me feel very unsafe.
129
00:04:53,031 --> 00:04:54,946
Rick Rod don't
leave women high,
130
00:04:54,990 --> 00:04:57,384
and he especially
don't leave 'em dry!
131
00:04:57,427 --> 00:04:59,386
Gross. Again, unsafe.
132
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,958
I can't believe we've been "bro-coded"
133
00:05:07,002 --> 00:05:08,351
into a weekend with Klaus.
134
00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:10,005
I told you
we shouldn't have come.
135
00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:11,136
Yeah!
136
00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:12,529
Klaus is...
137
00:05:12,573 --> 00:05:14,270
frustrating!
138
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,272
Jeff, you're a
secondary member of the group.
139
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,206
You don't have to have a
strong opinion about this.
140
00:05:18,230 --> 00:05:19,231
Oh, good.
141
00:05:19,275 --> 00:05:20,407
Klaus: Check it out!
142
00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:22,147
I got us matching T-shirts
143
00:05:22,191 --> 00:05:24,062
that say "Klaus's Boyz"!
144
00:05:25,629 --> 00:05:27,370
I thought this would never happen,
145
00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:29,285
but the era
of replacing an "S"
146
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:32,593
with a "Z" to make a word cool is over.
147
00:05:32,636 --> 00:05:35,900
Sorry, sleeping people,
you sound like snakes now.
148
00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:39,948
I've always found
whiskey-tasting pretentious.
149
00:05:39,991 --> 00:05:42,646
What, am I supposed to just
drink this with no Diet Coke?
150
00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:44,605
Why does this bottle
have a warning label?
151
00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:46,215
Cool Luann: This whiskey's 400 proof.
152
00:05:46,258 --> 00:05:48,435
If it comes anywhere
near a flame,
153
00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:50,480
it'll explode everything.
154
00:05:50,524 --> 00:05:52,264
Whooooa! Whooooa! Whooooa! Whooooa!
155
00:05:52,308 --> 00:05:54,112
Okay, now, go ahead,
take a sip of your whiskeys
156
00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:55,659
and shout out any notes
you taste.
157
00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:56,660
I taste grapes!
158
00:05:56,704 --> 00:05:59,533
After you tried it.
159
00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:00,751
Edamame! No.
160
00:06:00,795 --> 00:06:01,796
And cocoa.No.
161
00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:02,840
Egg.No.
162
00:06:02,884 --> 00:06:04,407
Lime. Rice? No. No.
163
00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:05,452
Mustard.No.
164
00:06:05,495 --> 00:06:06,583
My tongue must be broken
165
00:06:06,627 --> 00:06:08,542
from all the making out
I've been doing.
166
00:06:08,585 --> 00:06:10,413
No.You haven't tried yours.
167
00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:12,763
[ Groans ]
168
00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:14,330
That's good.
169
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,462
And familiar.
170
00:06:15,505 --> 00:06:17,420
When I was a boy, my father said
171
00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:20,554
the juiciest part
of the fig tree was the trunk.
172
00:06:20,597 --> 00:06:23,513
So I bit into it and broke
all eight of my teeth.
173
00:06:23,557 --> 00:06:24,906
This tastes like
baby teeth!
174
00:06:24,949 --> 00:06:26,560
Good palate!
175
00:06:26,603 --> 00:06:28,300
I'm very proud of you!
176
00:06:28,344 --> 00:06:31,216
This gal's really invested in Stan.
177
00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:33,088
And now that you're
dangerously drunk,
178
00:06:33,131 --> 00:06:35,307
it's time for axe throwing.
179
00:06:35,351 --> 00:06:37,571
Axe throwing is the new Big Jenga.
180
00:06:37,614 --> 00:06:41,662
The rules are simple
--pick one up and throw it.
181
00:06:41,705 --> 00:06:43,141
Axe throwing is
on the checklist!
182
00:06:43,185 --> 00:06:45,274
Do we need
an axe-throwing lesson?
183
00:06:45,317 --> 00:06:48,059
Only if you're
a [bleep] nerd.
184
00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:55,719
♪♪
185
00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:57,504
Klaus picked this place?
186
00:06:57,547 --> 00:06:59,027
This is actually delicious!
187
00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:00,071
Guys! Guys!
188
00:07:00,115 --> 00:07:02,334
Guys!
Check out my trick!
189
00:07:02,378 --> 00:07:03,901
Man: Oww!
Damn it!
190
00:07:03,945 --> 00:07:05,512
Still a pretty good throw.
191
00:07:05,555 --> 00:07:07,470
But I was trying to do a cartwheel.
192
00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:09,124
These are ribs!
193
00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:12,693
We're having a great time,
and it's all because of Klaus!
194
00:07:12,736 --> 00:07:14,869
I smoke my meat
for 48 hours
195
00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:17,045
to achieve this texture
and flavor.
196
00:07:17,088 --> 00:07:18,525
48 hours?!
197
00:07:18,568 --> 00:07:22,529
Me and Shoshanna's Instant
Pot could do this in 10 minutes.
198
00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:24,487
Could it do it
in nine minutes?
199
00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:25,836
I don't think so.
200
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,273
Could it do it
in eight minutes?
201
00:07:28,317 --> 00:07:30,711
I see where this is going,
so I'm going to say yes.
202
00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:33,496
Could it do it
in seven minutes?
203
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,629
♪♪
204
00:07:35,672 --> 00:07:37,587
Come on, six!
Six, six, six.
205
00:07:37,631 --> 00:07:38,893
Sign of the devil!
206
00:07:38,936 --> 00:07:41,112
Hear my prayer, Satan,
and bring me a six!
207
00:07:42,374 --> 00:07:43,419
- Six!
- Yeah!
208
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:46,640
All:
Satan! Satan! Satan!
209
00:07:46,683 --> 00:07:48,163
Well, this has been
a great weekend,
210
00:07:48,206 --> 00:07:49,991
but I'm afraid
it's time to wrap it up.
211
00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:51,906
Klaus has to be at the church
at 9:00 tomorrow,
212
00:07:51,949 --> 00:07:54,996
and it's our duty as his boyz
to get him there on time.
213
00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:57,564
I wish this night
didn't have to end.
214
00:07:57,607 --> 00:07:58,913
One more round,
then we go?
215
00:07:58,956 --> 00:08:00,915
Let's do it.
216
00:08:04,614 --> 00:08:07,312
Look, Stan,
I have weighted dice.
217
00:08:07,356 --> 00:08:09,097
What? Why?
We're already winning!
218
00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:10,968
Come on, seven!
219
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:13,754
White dice?!
220
00:08:13,797 --> 00:08:15,799
You boys are cheatin'!
221
00:08:15,843 --> 00:08:17,758
Get 'em!
[ Grunts ]
222
00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:20,195
♪♪
223
00:08:20,238 --> 00:08:21,588
Why did you do that?
224
00:08:21,631 --> 00:08:23,894
Fighting is on
the checklist, bro.
225
00:08:23,938 --> 00:08:25,200
Cool!
Mark it off!
226
00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:26,680
[ Taser crackling ]
227
00:08:26,723 --> 00:08:29,421
If the waitress comes back
with my Bud Ice,
228
00:08:29,465 --> 00:08:32,555
please have her tuck it
into my underpants.
229
00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:34,949
[ Thud ]
230
00:08:34,992 --> 00:08:36,428
[ Taser crackling ]
231
00:08:40,737 --> 00:08:44,132
[ All groaning ]
232
00:08:44,175 --> 00:08:47,396
Looks like little fish stick and
his peas are waking up.
233
00:08:47,439 --> 00:08:49,485
We're not peas.
We're boyz.
234
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:50,573
Klaus's Boyz!
235
00:08:50,617 --> 00:08:51,748
We are a tribe!
236
00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:53,054
We are a tribe!
237
00:08:53,097 --> 00:08:54,664
Jeff! Let us out.
238
00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:56,250
We have a wedding to get to in the morning.
239
00:08:56,274 --> 00:08:58,842
And I have a wedding
to go to right now.
240
00:08:58,886 --> 00:09:00,757
Tough Teddy,
will you marry me?
241
00:09:00,801 --> 00:09:01,976
Immediately?
242
00:09:02,019 --> 00:09:04,848
Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!
243
00:09:06,197 --> 00:09:08,983
It's 3:00 a.m.
now and a five-hour drive to Langley,
244
00:09:09,026 --> 00:09:10,245
so we gotta move.
245
00:09:10,288 --> 00:09:11,594
Jeff,
what are you doing?
246
00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:14,858
I'm in a cage,
and that makes me sad,
247
00:09:14,902 --> 00:09:19,515
so I'm drowning my sorrows
in 400-proof whiskey.
248
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:20,647
That's it!
249
00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:22,050
Roger, I assume
you have a lighter.
250
00:09:22,083 --> 00:09:23,606
I do!
Somewhere on me.
251
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,782
That very hip lady at the whiskey tasting
252
00:09:25,826 --> 00:09:28,872
said if this alcohol comes
near a flame, it...
253
00:09:28,916 --> 00:09:30,744
[ Explosion ]
254
00:09:35,139 --> 00:09:38,447
Stan, the casino exploded before I
could lend you my lighter.
255
00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:39,840
I can't believe
we're all alive!
256
00:09:39,883 --> 00:09:40,797
[ All gasp ]
257
00:09:40,841 --> 00:09:42,016
What?
What is it?
258
00:09:42,059 --> 00:09:43,104
Am I hurt?
259
00:09:44,932 --> 00:09:45,759
Yes.
260
00:09:45,802 --> 00:09:46,802
[ Whistle blowing ]
261
00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:51,765
Look out! He's calling
the Von Trapp children!
262
00:09:51,808 --> 00:09:54,898
[ Dogs barking, growling ]
263
00:09:54,942 --> 00:09:55,856
Oh, that makes
more sense.
264
00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:57,118
Run!
265
00:09:57,161 --> 00:09:59,686
♪♪
266
00:09:59,729 --> 00:10:02,906
[ Pounding on door ]
267
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:06,301
Ready to get hor-nay?
268
00:10:06,344 --> 00:10:08,433
It's the middle
of the night.
269
00:10:08,477 --> 00:10:09,933
It took me a while
to find a Walgreens
270
00:10:09,957 --> 00:10:11,480
that would let me in
without a shirt.
271
00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:12,916
Can I come in?
No.
272
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:15,136
You're just like
Walgreens!
273
00:10:15,179 --> 00:10:16,441
Hey, everybody!
274
00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:18,922
This house
ordered a stripper!
275
00:10:18,966 --> 00:10:19,836
- What?
- Oh, my!
276
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:21,229
Man: At the Smiths?
277
00:10:21,272 --> 00:10:23,144
Fine!
Come in. Come in.
278
00:10:23,187 --> 00:10:24,928
I was just kidding!
279
00:10:24,972 --> 00:10:25,929
Oh, it's a joke.
280
00:10:25,973 --> 00:10:28,845
- Oh, okay.
- That's pretty funny.
281
00:10:28,889 --> 00:10:30,542
Who are you?
282
00:10:30,586 --> 00:10:32,588
It's my weekend
with my 300-pound son, Mason.
283
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,285
He was getting restless
in the car,
284
00:10:34,329 --> 00:10:36,070
so I told him to go in
through the back.
285
00:10:36,113 --> 00:10:39,247
Now, to turn you on!
286
00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:40,727
[ Button clicking ]
287
00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:43,817
Oh, no!
No, no, no, no!
288
00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:47,342
It wasn't the batteries.
It was the box itself.
289
00:10:47,385 --> 00:10:48,822
I'm spiraling!
290
00:10:48,865 --> 00:10:50,127
Don't spiral!
291
00:10:50,171 --> 00:10:51,955
I think it's super hot
292
00:10:51,999 --> 00:10:54,131
that you dragged your boombox
all the way to Walgreens
293
00:10:54,175 --> 00:10:56,307
and didn't test the batteries
before you left.
294
00:10:56,351 --> 00:10:58,092
No, you don't
think it's hot!
295
00:10:58,135 --> 00:11:00,181
I'm a failure!
296
00:11:00,224 --> 00:11:01,965
Can I have
two red wines?
297
00:11:02,009 --> 00:11:04,968
No! You and Mason need to leave!
298
00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:06,753
Okay, I'm leaving.
299
00:11:06,796 --> 00:11:08,798
Come on, Mason.
300
00:11:08,842 --> 00:11:09,973
Stair fake-out!
301
00:11:10,017 --> 00:11:12,715
[ Footsteps, door opens, slams ]
302
00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:16,153
Steve: Mom!
That stripper's in my room!
303
00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:18,547
Now he's opening a vent!
304
00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:19,896
He's in the walls!
305
00:11:19,940 --> 00:11:22,203
He does that sometimes when he's insecure.
306
00:11:22,246 --> 00:11:23,857
Which is basically
all the time.
307
00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:26,337
I can't understand why
he went into this industry.
308
00:11:26,381 --> 00:11:28,775
He passed the bar
on the first try.
309
00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:31,995
Rick Rod: I'm not hiding this
body under some judge's robe!
310
00:11:32,039 --> 00:11:34,650
[ Dogs barking ]
311
00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:37,305
Oh, no!
312
00:11:37,348 --> 00:11:39,829
Why did we do this
to the car?
313
00:11:41,048 --> 00:11:42,614
The barbecue place!
314
00:11:42,658 --> 00:11:45,008
The meat will throw the dogs off our scent.
315
00:11:45,052 --> 00:11:48,969
♪♪
316
00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:50,797
Stan: Throw all the food
at the dogs!
317
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:52,886
Roger: I'm gonna knock
over this whole meat smoker!
318
00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:54,931
[ Straining ][ Crash ]
319
00:11:54,975 --> 00:11:57,368
God, Stan, I could have done it alone!
320
00:11:57,412 --> 00:11:59,109
Jeff: It's working! Thank you, Stan.
321
00:11:59,153 --> 00:12:00,937
I couldn't have
done it alone.
322
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,681
All: Klaus's Boyz!
323
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,204
Look what I got
while I was in there.
324
00:12:07,248 --> 00:12:09,598
Super-long sausage rope.
325
00:12:10,904 --> 00:12:12,035
Klaus, you idiot!
326
00:12:12,079 --> 00:12:14,385
That sausage leads all the way
to the dogs!
327
00:12:14,429 --> 00:12:15,647
[ Laughs ]
328
00:12:15,691 --> 00:12:17,606
Classic Klaus.
329
00:12:17,649 --> 00:12:19,173
[ Sniffing ]
330
00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:21,044
[ Growling ]
331
00:12:21,088 --> 00:12:24,831
♪♪
332
00:12:24,874 --> 00:12:25,962
[ Dogs barking ]
333
00:12:26,006 --> 00:12:28,008
Try the cars.
It's our only hope.
334
00:12:28,051 --> 00:12:31,011
♪♪
335
00:12:31,054 --> 00:12:32,882
[ Door handle rattles ]
336
00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:35,276
You trying
to steal my truck?
337
00:12:35,319 --> 00:12:36,973
You seem like
a reasonable man.
338
00:12:40,063 --> 00:12:41,456
That I am.
339
00:12:41,499 --> 00:12:43,632
The casino sicked
their dogs on us.
340
00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:47,070
We need a car to get our friend
to his wedding on time.
341
00:12:47,114 --> 00:12:48,637
You're
a bachelor party?
342
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:50,247
Well, why didn't you
say so?
343
00:12:50,291 --> 00:12:52,684
Take my truck!
344
00:12:52,728 --> 00:12:54,948
And hurry.
345
00:12:54,991 --> 00:12:56,863
Here come the dogs!
346
00:12:56,906 --> 00:12:58,038
Good luck!
347
00:12:58,081 --> 00:13:00,605
Love conquers all!
Aaah!
348
00:13:00,649 --> 00:13:02,999
Just enough time to get you
to your wedding.
349
00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:04,871
Perfect!
We'll make it!
350
00:13:04,914 --> 00:13:06,524
Shoot, let me see those keys.
351
00:13:06,568 --> 00:13:08,091
[ Keys jingle ]
352
00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:09,614
Whoops.
353
00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:12,443
Mr. Klaus, are you
livin' la vida loco?
354
00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:15,229
Hold on. I need to do
a little flashback math.
355
00:13:15,272 --> 00:13:20,234
The white dice plus the sausage
rope minus the keys equals...
356
00:13:20,277 --> 00:13:21,757
You're sabotaging us!
357
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,324
Ooh! Aaah!
358
00:13:23,367 --> 00:13:25,239
I have cold feet.
359
00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:27,067
I'm scared
to get married.
360
00:13:27,110 --> 00:13:28,111
Crazy Coolidge: Oh, no!
361
00:13:28,155 --> 00:13:31,114
They're chewing up
my Air Jordans!
362
00:13:31,158 --> 00:13:32,333
No, don't be scared!
363
00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:33,987
Zendaya is perfect
for you!
364
00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:36,424
I worry I'm not good enough.
365
00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:38,861
You guys didn't even want to
spend the weekend with me.
366
00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:40,254
Is she really gonna want
367
00:13:40,297 --> 00:13:42,473
to spend the rest of her life with me?
368
00:13:42,517 --> 00:13:45,912
They're working their way up
my Ed Hardy jeans!
369
00:13:45,955 --> 00:13:47,043
[ Fabric tearing ]
370
00:13:47,087 --> 00:13:49,219
Klaus, we shouldn't
have said that.
371
00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:52,005
If you're as good a
husband as you are a friend,
372
00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:53,876
she is one lucky lady.
373
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:55,051
Thanks, Stan.
374
00:13:55,095 --> 00:13:57,140
[ Fabric tearing ]Yep, you guessed it!
375
00:13:57,184 --> 00:14:00,578
My Tommy Hilfiger shirt
was next!
376
00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:01,904
Now, let's get you
to your wedding.
377
00:14:01,928 --> 00:14:03,886
What about the keys?
378
00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:08,717
Nother set under
my Louis Vuitton floor mats!
379
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:10,110
Aah!
380
00:14:12,590 --> 00:14:14,288
We're gonna make it.
381
00:14:14,331 --> 00:14:16,309
We just have to stop at the
dry cleaners to get our suits.
382
00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:19,249
And maybe the drugstore for some Neosporin?
383
00:14:19,293 --> 00:14:20,381
Is someone hurt?
384
00:14:20,424 --> 00:14:22,252
I can't hear so well
on this side.
385
00:14:22,296 --> 00:14:23,601
Don't get old.
386
00:14:23,645 --> 00:14:25,125
How 'bout some tunes
for the road?
387
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:29,912
♪ Everybody's talking
all this stuff about me ♪
388
00:14:29,956 --> 00:14:32,959
[ Thinking ] Where do I know that dog from?
389
00:14:33,002 --> 00:14:35,135
Is he from a TV show?
390
00:14:35,178 --> 00:14:36,527
From a movie?
391
00:14:36,571 --> 00:14:38,965
Aaaaahhh,
the dog followed us!
392
00:14:39,008 --> 00:14:41,924
Oh! From the chasing us earlier!
393
00:14:41,968 --> 00:14:43,404
We're almost
to the cleaners.
394
00:14:43,447 --> 00:14:45,580
We can't get out
if the dog is there.
395
00:14:45,623 --> 00:14:46,623
[ Engine revs ]
396
00:14:47,843 --> 00:14:50,280
We need to open the tailgate
without stopping the truck.
397
00:14:50,324 --> 00:14:51,542
I'm on it![ Handle cranking ]
398
00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:53,196
♪ They say I'm nasty ♪
399
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:56,983
[ Dog barking ]♪ But I don't give a damn ♪
400
00:14:57,026 --> 00:14:58,985
♪ Gettin' girls is how I live♪Hit the gas!
401
00:14:59,028 --> 00:15:00,223
[ Tires screech, dog whimpers ]
402
00:15:00,247 --> 00:15:03,076
♪ Some ask me questions ♪
403
00:15:03,119 --> 00:15:05,078
♪ Why am I so real?♪[ Grunting ]
404
00:15:05,121 --> 00:15:06,993
♪ But they don't understand me ♪
405
00:15:07,036 --> 00:15:08,995
♪ Or really don't
know the deal ♪
406
00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:10,363
[ Tires screech ]♪ About a brother ♪
407
00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:12,607
Aaaaah!
408
00:15:16,872 --> 00:15:18,134
I got our suits!
409
00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:20,397
If we can, I'd love
to grab a quick shower
410
00:15:20,441 --> 00:15:22,095
before I throw
this baby on.
411
00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:25,794
Is it hot or cold water that
gets glass out of your face?
412
00:15:25,837 --> 00:15:27,448
You know what?
I'll just push it in.
413
00:15:27,491 --> 00:15:30,103
[ Bell tolling ]
414
00:15:30,146 --> 00:15:31,800
I can't believe
the love of my life
415
00:15:31,843 --> 00:15:35,151
is right through these doors
waiting to marry me.
416
00:15:35,195 --> 00:15:38,198
I don't know how to thank
you guys for getting me here.
417
00:15:38,241 --> 00:15:39,112
Rabies shot.
418
00:15:39,155 --> 00:15:40,461
We're your boyz,
Klaus.
419
00:15:40,504 --> 00:15:42,115
You don't
have to thank us.
420
00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:45,074
Now, get in there and nail
that interview or whatever!
421
00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:47,947
[ Slow organ music playing,
people crying ]
422
00:15:50,253 --> 00:15:51,646
Oh, no!
423
00:15:51,689 --> 00:15:55,041
They must've killed
Shoshanna because we're late!
424
00:16:01,873 --> 00:16:04,224
Klaus, where's your wedding?
425
00:16:04,267 --> 00:16:06,443
There was never
gonna be a wedding.
426
00:16:06,487 --> 00:16:10,012
Shoshanna dumped me
six months ago.
427
00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:11,709
You lied about
getting married?
428
00:16:11,753 --> 00:16:13,494
Just to have
a bachelor party?
429
00:16:13,537 --> 00:16:16,018
No.
Just to have friends.
430
00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:18,040
How am I supposed to trick
you into hanging out with me
431
00:16:18,064 --> 00:16:19,500
if I don't lie?
432
00:16:19,543 --> 00:16:23,069
But now that I've come clean,
can we go out for ice cream?
433
00:16:23,112 --> 00:16:26,246
It is my birthday.
434
00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:28,074
[ Whispering ] Shhhh! This is a librari...
435
00:16:28,117 --> 00:16:29,249
No, it's not,
it's a church.
436
00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:31,642
...ian's funeral.
437
00:16:31,686 --> 00:16:32,861
A librarian died.
438
00:16:32,904 --> 00:16:34,645
Show some respect
and be quiet!
439
00:16:34,689 --> 00:16:36,972
[ Whispering ] A lot of people
don't know this about Sheila,
440
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,649
but she loved books.
441
00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:40,651
[ Quiet laughter ]
442
00:16:40,695 --> 00:16:43,089
You can't quiet
the bachelor boyz!
443
00:16:43,132 --> 00:16:44,481
We're not boyz, Klaus.
444
00:16:44,525 --> 00:16:47,180
We'll never be boyz
with a "Z" again.
445
00:16:47,223 --> 00:16:49,138
Let's go.
446
00:16:49,182 --> 00:16:50,879
[ Dog barking ]
447
00:16:50,922 --> 00:16:53,360
[ Whispering ]
Noooooooo!
448
00:16:56,102 --> 00:16:57,059
[ Thudding ]
449
00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:58,495
Hey, kid.
450
00:16:58,539 --> 00:17:00,454
How do we get your dad
to come out of the walls?
451
00:17:00,497 --> 00:17:02,543
You gotta challenge him
to a dance-off.
452
00:17:02,586 --> 00:17:03,986
Can I get a few minutes to stretch?
453
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,154
Hayley, please.
454
00:17:05,198 --> 00:17:06,460
Steve,
go get your fireman hat.
455
00:17:06,503 --> 00:17:09,332
Yay!
Weeoo weeoo!
456
00:17:09,376 --> 00:17:11,900
Actually my dad
has a stripper rival.
457
00:17:11,943 --> 00:17:13,293
His brother Todd Rod.
458
00:17:13,336 --> 00:17:14,990
If you get my uncle here,
459
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,253
my dad will have to come out
for the dance-off.
460
00:17:18,950 --> 00:17:22,128
Anybody need a hose?
461
00:17:24,521 --> 00:17:26,349
We should have trusted
our instincts
462
00:17:26,393 --> 00:17:27,698
about a weekend
with Klaus.
463
00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:29,483
I feel so duped!
464
00:17:29,526 --> 00:17:31,485
Compliments of the orange gentleman.
465
00:17:33,530 --> 00:17:35,532
Why are there
four milks?
466
00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:37,491
He was hoping
he could join you.
467
00:17:37,534 --> 00:17:39,580
And that you would
pay for the milks.
468
00:17:40,842 --> 00:17:42,496
No.
469
00:17:46,195 --> 00:17:47,936
They're gonna
cook him!
470
00:17:47,979 --> 00:17:49,285
And I'm gonna try him.
471
00:17:49,329 --> 00:17:51,679
No, Jeff, he's just
working off the milks.
472
00:17:51,722 --> 00:17:53,985
[ Shouting ]
473
00:17:54,029 --> 00:17:57,380
♪♪
474
00:17:57,424 --> 00:17:59,165
It's a damn cartoon!
475
00:17:59,208 --> 00:18:00,557
I can't
look at this anymore!
476
00:18:00,601 --> 00:18:02,124
I hate cartoons.
477
00:18:02,168 --> 00:18:04,518
They'll do anything
for a laugh.
478
00:18:05,258 --> 00:18:07,738
♪♪
479
00:18:07,782 --> 00:18:10,176
Ugh!
I'll cover the bill.
480
00:18:12,743 --> 00:18:15,181
Thanks, guys.
What's up?
481
00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:17,139
What's up is you're a liar,
Klaus.
482
00:18:17,183 --> 00:18:18,749
Well, I'm done lying!
483
00:18:18,793 --> 00:18:20,708
Please, let me back
in the group!
484
00:18:20,751 --> 00:18:22,971
I only have one week
to live!
485
00:18:23,014 --> 00:18:24,277
[ All scoff ]Wait!
486
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,409
You want to hear
the truth?
487
00:18:26,453 --> 00:18:28,542
I didn't invent
solar panels.
488
00:18:28,585 --> 00:18:32,415
My favorite flavor isn't
saffron, it's mayonnaise.
489
00:18:32,459 --> 00:18:34,939
I wish there was
mayonnaise gum.
490
00:18:34,983 --> 00:18:38,421
I didn't write the Sublime song
"Santeria."
491
00:18:38,465 --> 00:18:40,249
Sublime did.
492
00:18:40,293 --> 00:18:43,165
When I see a child's bike
unattended, I steal it.
493
00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:45,994
I still don't know
who Barack Obama is.
494
00:18:46,037 --> 00:18:48,214
It's okay, Klaus.
Just stop.
495
00:18:48,257 --> 00:18:50,303
You can't go through life
lying to people.
496
00:18:50,346 --> 00:18:52,174
I know!
497
00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:54,568
I wasn't lying about
loving the Instant Pot!
498
00:18:54,611 --> 00:18:57,223
But Shoshanna got to keep it
in the breakup.
499
00:18:57,266 --> 00:19:00,051
I'll never see it again.
500
00:19:00,095 --> 00:19:01,792
Check this guy out,
lyin' again.
501
00:19:01,836 --> 00:19:03,403
Jeff and Roger, no!
502
00:19:03,446 --> 00:19:05,753
You're gonna see
that Instant Pot again.
503
00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:07,972
'Cause your boyz
are gonna get it back.
504
00:19:08,016 --> 00:19:10,888
[ Gasps ]
You're my boyz again?
505
00:19:10,932 --> 00:19:12,455
With a "Z," my dude.
506
00:19:12,499 --> 00:19:13,891
[ Water gushing, man screaming ]
507
00:19:13,935 --> 00:19:16,329
♪♪
508
00:19:16,372 --> 00:19:18,722
Powerful stream.
509
00:19:21,464 --> 00:19:24,250
You guys have one song
to show us your best moves.
510
00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:26,426
We choose the winner,
then you leave forever.
511
00:19:26,469 --> 00:19:28,689
We need music.
512
00:19:28,732 --> 00:19:32,301
Dance now, or I'll shoot you
with my husband's guns.
513
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:37,437
♪ Everybody's talking... what about
♪♪ Everybody's talking[grunts] stuff ♪
514
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,047
♪ Why don't --
Move over.
515
00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:42,355
Left-foot stutter step.♪ Live...
why don't...
516
00:19:42,398 --> 00:19:44,357
In my way! Mm-hmm, yeah.
517
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,097
♪ Why don't people just... Ooh!
518
00:19:46,141 --> 00:19:47,292
♪ Made my... Hurts, don't it?
Tell your friends.
519
00:19:47,316 --> 00:19:49,100
♪ Chillin'
Unh!
520
00:19:49,144 --> 00:19:51,364
♪ They say I'm nasty
Yeah, oh, you can't touch.
521
00:19:51,407 --> 00:19:54,323
♪ Why don't they [Mumbles]
♪ They say I'm crazy
522
00:19:54,367 --> 00:19:57,457
[ Mumbles ]
523
00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:59,023
♪ Tell me why
524
00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:00,286
Prerogative! Prerogative!
525
00:20:00,329 --> 00:20:02,505
Ugh, my prostate.
526
00:20:02,549 --> 00:20:04,464
Honestly,
Rick was better.
527
00:20:04,507 --> 00:20:06,466
Yeah, watching Rick
compared to Todd
528
00:20:06,509 --> 00:20:09,077
did give me a brief tingle in
my downtown tinsel town.
529
00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:10,480
I have to agree
with my colleagues.
530
00:20:10,513 --> 00:20:13,255
Yes!
Up yours, Todd!
531
00:20:13,299 --> 00:20:14,952
That'll be eight dollars,
ma'am.
532
00:20:14,996 --> 00:20:17,041
What? You got two dancers.
533
00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:18,695
I had to
charge you double.
534
00:20:18,739 --> 00:20:20,871
[ Knock on door ]
535
00:20:20,915 --> 00:20:23,134
Klaus, what are you
doing here?
536
00:20:23,178 --> 00:20:27,443
Shoshanna, what we had was
too beautiful to just throw away.
537
00:20:27,487 --> 00:20:29,315
I've been thinking
the same thing.
538
00:20:29,358 --> 00:20:30,272
Wait, really?
539
00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:32,622
Yes, I miss you.
540
00:20:32,666 --> 00:20:34,189
Guys, abort!
541
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,451
I love you, Shoshanna!
542
00:20:35,495 --> 00:20:37,192
The wedding
is back on!
543
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,411
[ Glass shatters ]
544
00:20:38,454 --> 00:20:40,674
I got it, Klaus! I got the Instant Pot.
545
00:20:40,717 --> 00:20:42,023
[ Tires screech ]
546
00:20:43,416 --> 00:20:46,680
You only came to get
the Instant Pot?
547
00:20:46,723 --> 00:20:48,899
Screw you, Klaus!
548
00:20:48,943 --> 00:20:51,337
Don't ever
contact me again!
549
00:20:51,380 --> 00:20:52,947
No doi, he hates you.
550
00:20:52,990 --> 00:20:54,557
Klaus: No,
now they're the liars!
551
00:20:54,601 --> 00:20:56,298
[ Tires screech ]
552
00:20:56,342 --> 00:20:57,343
Together: Klaus's Boyz!
553
00:20:57,386 --> 00:21:02,522
Klaus: Shoshanna!
554
00:21:02,565 --> 00:21:04,175
Bye-bye! See you soon!
38228
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