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Previously on Scream Queens...
You need to choose one of us.
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Fine, Roger,
I'm coming with you.
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00:00:05,830 --> 00:00:07,730
If someone found out my
dad is Charles Manson,
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00:00:07,765 --> 00:00:09,699
everyone would immediately
assume the killer is me.
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00:00:09,733 --> 00:00:11,251
The Red Devil kidnapped me
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00:00:11,285 --> 00:00:12,869
and took me to his evil lair.
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The Red Devil is in love with you?
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00:00:14,588 --> 00:00:16,906
Tonight we cast our
votes for the next president
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of Kappa House.
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Grab some marbles.
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It's time to vote.
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♪ ♪
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♪ Baby ♪
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♪ I can't wait ♪
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All right, so remind me again.
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It's black for Zayday, white for Chanel?
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Obv. Do you think you can handle that?
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I only gave you the job
of tallying the votes
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00:01:07,958 --> 00:01:09,259
because I thought you Rain Man types
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00:01:09,293 --> 00:01:10,626
were super good at counting.
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00:01:10,644 --> 00:01:12,295
Or are you one of those idiot savants
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who's heavy on the idiot,
light on the savant?
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I am neither, thank you very much.
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Years before the Psychoanalytic
Society of America decided
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there was money to be made
by creating what they called
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the autism spectrum,
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I would have been considered
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a daydreamer or quirky,
like a young Zooey Deschanel.
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I am not an idiot
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or a moron. I am simply
a victim of my times.
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Are you aware your pants are on backwards?
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Start counting the damn votes.
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Wait, what happens if it's a tie?
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It's never happened before,
but Kappa bylaws state
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that the two of them would rule together.
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It's a tie.
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You did it!
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Well, sort of.
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I know it's not ideal,
but I think you and I
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would make great copresidents.
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What? No, I'm not gonna be
copresident with a pledge!
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00:02:01,278 --> 00:02:04,814
Farty McCandlewax clearly
miscounted the votes!
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Calm down, Chanel, it's not Farty's fault.
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Then whose fault is it?
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It's not my fault that my pumpkin patch
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was canceled. It's not my fault
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that some people didn't vote for me because
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they're too intimidated by my hotness.
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It's not my fault that, because someone
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is killing Kappas, I didn't have time
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to individually bribe each and
every one of you to vote for me.
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No. Clearly there is only one
person to blame for all of this.
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Number Five.
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Wait, what?
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I hate all of you for
letting me down tonight,
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but, Number Five, I hate you the most.
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I know it's on me that I chose
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idiots and weirdos to be my minions,
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but you are by far the most
idiotic and the most weird,
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and so I blame you more than any of them
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for not finding a way
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to ensure I retained my presidency tonight.
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Chanel, come on, let's talk this through.
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No! I am never talking
about anything ever again!
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I hate you all!
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Hey.
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00:03:08,579 --> 00:03:10,580
Yeah, super sorry about
what happened down there.
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00:03:14,651 --> 00:03:16,419
Why are you laughing?
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00:03:16,453 --> 00:03:18,921
Because, you leg humpers,
I voted for Zayday.
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00:03:18,956 --> 00:03:20,256
I wanted her to win.
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What about that fit you threw down there?
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Brilliant performance, I know.
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I've had to develop some
serious acting skills
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- to have sex with Chad.
- So...
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you're not mad at me? Oh, I
meant everything I said about you.
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I still think you're useless.
I'm just not sad about it.
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You see, I've learned a few things
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from watching A&E
documentaries about the Mafia.
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The most important being...
Aside from to never trust anyone,
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especially those
closest to you...
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You never, ever want to be the boss
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in a time of extreme crisis.
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As soon as you become the boss,
you get a target on your back,
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from the Feds, the other
families, ambitious underlings.
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Sure, seems like you have all the power,
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00:03:57,995 --> 00:04:00,129
but you also take on the most risk.
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00:04:00,164 --> 00:04:02,965
Being president of
Kappa House when there is
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a killer hunting down
sisters of Kappa House
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means you're the top target.
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00:04:06,670 --> 00:04:08,037
I was actually hoping one of you
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00:04:08,055 --> 00:04:09,505
bitches would betray me and vote for her
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00:04:09,539 --> 00:04:10,923
so she could win the whole thing, but...
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this works out even better.
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00:04:12,176 --> 00:04:13,810
Because when I go down and make peace
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with her and her pasty friend,
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I'm gonna look like a
skinnier Angelina Jolie.
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00:04:17,898 --> 00:04:20,382
Wait, so this whole
thing... the pumpkin patch,
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00:04:20,401 --> 00:04:21,934
the fight against
Black Hairy Tongue...
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00:04:21,985 --> 00:04:24,937
Was all an elaborate plan to
set up Zayday to be killed?
100
00:04:24,988 --> 00:04:28,324
I like to think of it more as an
elaborate plan to save a life...
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Mine.
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Oh, don't judge me for
trying to stay alive.
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00:04:32,663 --> 00:04:35,281
We all know you've been
cozying up to Predatory Lez
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because you think she knows karate.
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00:04:37,034 --> 00:04:38,201
I just like hanging out with her.
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She's cool to talk to.
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She knows a lot about... stuff.
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00:04:42,039 --> 00:04:44,573
Are you going lesbian, Number Three?
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00:04:44,591 --> 00:04:46,575
Because while I get that
Lezzie Pledge is kind of cute
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in a "if Bruce Lee were a DJ" kind of way,
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I don't think we should
be having sex with pledges.
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Now, if you'll follow me,
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I would like to implement phase two
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of my "Chanel Dies Last" plan.
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Whatever she says,
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do not give an inch.
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You're president now, too.
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Zayday,
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this is the key to the storage room.
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Where we keep our tampon backstock
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in case of a nuclear war
and all of our secrets.
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It's the most holy room in the house,
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and only the president has the key.
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I want you to have it.
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00:05:25,048 --> 00:05:26,382
What's your game here?
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I trust you about as
far as I can throw you.
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No game.
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I may be a stone-cold bitch,
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but I love Kappa
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and I want it to survive
these challenging times.
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So if you think you can do a better job
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00:05:37,261 --> 00:05:38,961
than I can, then I say
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let's give the Zayday
Administration a chance.
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Sisters
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and anyone else who might be listening,
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I present to you the acting
president of Kappa Kappa Tau,
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Zayday... something!
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00:05:51,275 --> 00:05:53,326
Williams. But that'll do.
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00:05:56,665 --> 00:05:59,609
Sync & corrections by wilson0804
www.Addic7ed.com
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Excuse me, Madam President,
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00:06:02,753 --> 00:06:05,037
the Speaker of the House is on line one.
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Take a message.
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Z! Oh, come here.
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00:06:10,294 --> 00:06:12,762
I'm so proud of you. This
is so exciting. I mean,
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00:06:12,796 --> 00:06:15,548
Kappa is really gonna change,
and it all starts with you.
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00:06:15,599 --> 00:06:17,099
Well, the biggest change
I'd like to implement
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is for everyone to stop getting
murdered by a serial killer.
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00:06:19,169 --> 00:06:20,803
That's what we need to talk about.
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00:06:20,837 --> 00:06:22,438
I know we don't know who the killer is,
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00:06:22,472 --> 00:06:24,056
but we know it traces back to this house.
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00:06:24,107 --> 00:06:26,943
If the Red Devil is killing
Kappas, that means some of them
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have to know something.
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We just need to find out what.
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A slumber party.
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00:06:33,450 --> 00:06:34,784
What?
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00:06:34,818 --> 00:06:37,737
There are two things that
always happen at a slumber party:
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someone experiments with lesbianism
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and secrets are revealed.
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00:06:40,707 --> 00:06:42,241
Oh, my God. That is brilliant.
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We can create situations and scenarios
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to really prime the pump.
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Like a big game of Truth or Dare.
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That'll be my first act as president.
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We'll lock everybody up overnight,
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and we're bound to find out something.
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Can I have y'all's attention?
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Kappa House is having a slumber party!
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00:06:59,709 --> 00:07:01,877
What? Ew. Gross. No.
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00:07:01,895 --> 00:07:03,712
Yes. It's gonna be great.
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00:07:03,730 --> 00:07:04,981
Look, we're gonna lock ourselves in,
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play some games,
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get cozy... What are you talking about?!
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00:07:07,884 --> 00:07:08,935
No, we are not ten!
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00:07:08,986 --> 00:07:10,269
Shut up, Chanel.
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00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:11,604
It's a great idea.
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00:07:11,655 --> 00:07:12,989
A slumber party sounds fun.
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00:07:13,023 --> 00:07:15,324
Let's play Spin the Bottle.
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00:07:15,359 --> 00:07:15,992
What?
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00:07:16,026 --> 00:07:17,109
You heard me. I want
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00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:19,495
to play Spin the Bottle. We're doing it.
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What'd I tell you?
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Someone always goes lesbian.
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00:07:22,082 --> 00:07:24,834
Uh, yeah, well, Spin the
Bottle sounds great, I guess,
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00:07:24,868 --> 00:07:27,336
but don't you think a
rousing game of Truth or Dare
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00:07:27,371 --> 00:07:28,337
would be way more fun
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00:07:28,372 --> 00:07:29,622
to play first?
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- No.
- No?
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We're having a slumber party,
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and before we do anything else,
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we're playing Spin the damn Bottle.
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Let's vote.
192
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All those in favor of a slumber party.
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There. It's decided.
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00:07:48,275 --> 00:07:50,476
We're having a slumber party, okay?
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00:07:50,527 --> 00:07:53,863
Everyone get in your PJs, and
be down here at 5:00, okay?
196
00:07:53,897 --> 00:07:55,931
Why Spin the Bottle?
197
00:07:55,949 --> 00:07:58,100
There aren't any Dickies here!
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00:07:58,118 --> 00:08:01,153
Caulfield! Caulfield! Caulfield!
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00:08:01,204 --> 00:08:03,873
Caulfield, you suck
it, bro! You suck it so hard!
200
00:08:03,907 --> 00:08:06,876
Suck it! Suck it! Come
on, baby! Come on, baby!
201
00:08:06,910 --> 00:08:09,245
Don't stop now. Don't st...
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00:08:09,279 --> 00:08:10,379
45 seconds.
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00:08:11,798 --> 00:08:14,216
Brother Caulfield,
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00:08:14,251 --> 00:08:18,387
you just chugged four liters
of canned pasta in 45 seconds.
205
00:08:18,422 --> 00:08:21,223
So if anybody ever tells
you that just because you got
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00:08:21,258 --> 00:08:23,059
your arms chopped off by a serial killer
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00:08:23,093 --> 00:08:25,061
that somehow you're handicapped,
208
00:08:25,095 --> 00:08:26,929
you have 'em give me a call.
209
00:08:26,963 --> 00:08:29,465
And I'm gonna tell 'em this story.
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00:08:29,483 --> 00:08:31,934
Chad.
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00:08:34,321 --> 00:08:36,906
The Dollar Scholars need to have
a little talk with you, mate.
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00:08:36,940 --> 00:08:38,074
Listen,
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00:08:38,108 --> 00:08:40,443
this is an intervention.
214
00:08:40,477 --> 00:08:43,612
Mate, there's a nasty rumor going around
215
00:08:43,646 --> 00:08:46,749
saying you're having sex
with... with the dean.
216
00:08:46,783 --> 00:08:47,867
That is not a nasty rumor.
217
00:08:47,918 --> 00:08:49,752
That is a true rumor.
218
00:08:49,786 --> 00:08:51,704
I am totally porkin' Dean Munsch.
219
00:08:51,755 --> 00:08:52,922
Chick is smokin'.
220
00:08:52,956 --> 00:08:54,290
There's also another rumor saying
221
00:08:54,324 --> 00:08:56,425
that you slept with one
of the security guards.
222
00:08:56,460 --> 00:08:59,712
Denise Hemphill. Um, yeah.
223
00:08:59,763 --> 00:09:01,497
I mean, she
is fun. I'm not kidding.
224
00:09:01,515 --> 00:09:03,265
I mean, that girl knows what she's doing.
225
00:09:03,300 --> 00:09:04,433
But what about Chanel?
226
00:09:04,468 --> 00:09:06,435
No, Chanel's good, too. I mean, she's...
227
00:09:06,470 --> 00:09:08,771
When you have sex with Chanel,
there's just, like, so much,
228
00:09:08,805 --> 00:09:11,140
like... crying.
229
00:09:11,174 --> 00:09:13,225
Look, Chad, we've talked
about this as a house,
230
00:09:13,276 --> 00:09:15,478
and we all agree it's super weird
231
00:09:15,512 --> 00:09:17,229
that you sleep with so many old people.
232
00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:19,198
Hmm.
233
00:09:24,154 --> 00:09:26,455
Oh. Wow.
234
00:09:26,490 --> 00:09:30,192
You guys have really given
me something to think about.
235
00:09:30,210 --> 00:09:32,495
While I've always believed
one of the most fun parts
236
00:09:32,529 --> 00:09:34,663
of college life is
sleeping with the faculty,
237
00:09:34,697 --> 00:09:38,801
I now realize that concentrating
on porking popular girls,
238
00:09:38,835 --> 00:09:40,469
it's in all of our best interests.
239
00:09:40,504 --> 00:09:42,588
Therefore, I hereby pledge
240
00:09:42,639 --> 00:09:45,925
I'm gonna concentrate on
my relationship with Chanel,
241
00:09:45,976 --> 00:09:48,260
'cause she's freakin' hot as hell
242
00:09:48,311 --> 00:09:50,096
and her dad was a bundler for Mitt Romney.
243
00:09:50,147 --> 00:09:51,313
Well, you know,
244
00:09:51,348 --> 00:09:52,815
a little birdie told me
245
00:09:52,849 --> 00:09:54,650
Kappa House are having
a slumber party tonight.
246
00:09:54,684 --> 00:09:56,602
So I propose a panty raid.
247
00:09:56,653 --> 00:09:58,654
All those in favor?
248
00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:01,741
Panty raid!
249
00:10:07,030 --> 00:10:08,998
Nope!
250
00:10:09,032 --> 00:10:11,333
Not doing this. I don't
understand why we're playing
251
00:10:11,368 --> 00:10:13,669
Spin the Bottle. There are
exactly zero wangers here.
252
00:10:13,703 --> 00:10:16,172
Chanel, I will act as proxy
and kiss Candle Vlogger
253
00:10:16,206 --> 00:10:18,707
so that you don't have to.
254
00:10:20,710 --> 00:10:22,211
You taste like wax.
255
00:10:22,245 --> 00:10:24,013
You taste good, too.
256
00:10:24,047 --> 00:10:26,048
My turn. It's my turn.
257
00:10:27,851 --> 00:10:29,685
There. I just spun it.
258
00:10:29,719 --> 00:10:33,088
Dear God, if you really exist,
please show me by letting it
259
00:10:33,106 --> 00:10:35,307
land on Predatory Lez
so I can explore these
260
00:10:35,358 --> 00:10:37,693
confusing, conflicting feelings
I've been having lately.
261
00:10:39,396 --> 00:10:42,031
Re-spin. New rule:
you can re-spin.
262
00:10:46,069 --> 00:10:48,937
Oh. Sam. I guess we have to kiss.
263
00:10:53,577 --> 00:10:54,994
You're a great kisser.
264
00:10:55,045 --> 00:10:57,046
Thanks. I guess you're okay.
265
00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:58,998
I'll say it again.
266
00:10:59,049 --> 00:11:01,250
I don't know why we're doing this.
267
00:11:05,889 --> 00:11:07,122
Hey.
268
00:11:08,308 --> 00:11:09,508
Was I interrupting you?
269
00:11:09,559 --> 00:11:10,726
No, it's cool. I was just
270
00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:11,960
practicing looking disinterested.
271
00:11:11,978 --> 00:11:14,230
Do you do that, too?
Because when I was a kid,
272
00:11:14,264 --> 00:11:17,132
no one liked me 'cause my dad
was so rich, so I started acting
273
00:11:17,150 --> 00:11:19,101
like I didn't care. But then I realized
274
00:11:19,135 --> 00:11:20,969
I really wasn't pretending
and I actually didn't care.
275
00:11:20,987 --> 00:11:23,439
I'm pretty sure I was born
without that part of the brain
276
00:11:23,473 --> 00:11:24,740
that actually feels stuff.
277
00:11:24,774 --> 00:11:26,525
We have so much in common.
278
00:11:26,576 --> 00:11:27,943
I'm starting to think we have something
279
00:11:27,977 --> 00:11:29,778
very important and specific in common.
280
00:11:29,812 --> 00:11:32,248
My sex life up until this point
is what you'd call unusual.
281
00:11:32,282 --> 00:11:33,582
When I turned 18,
282
00:11:33,617 --> 00:11:35,251
I started dating one of my dad's friends.
283
00:11:35,285 --> 00:11:36,619
He committed suicide
by running himself over
284
00:11:36,653 --> 00:11:38,087
with a golf cart at the club.
285
00:11:38,121 --> 00:11:40,039
The guy I dated here last year
286
00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:42,708
got so obsessed with my
ears he had to leave school.
287
00:11:42,759 --> 00:11:44,927
Now he writes me letters
threatening to cut them off
288
00:11:44,961 --> 00:11:46,262
if he ever sees them again.
289
00:11:46,296 --> 00:11:48,330
Which is why I always wear my ear muffs.
290
00:11:48,348 --> 00:11:51,333
I understand. I think the only
way to be sure of your feelings
291
00:11:51,351 --> 00:11:54,053
is if you let me gently
rub your uterus right now.
292
00:11:54,104 --> 00:11:55,938
No. You don't understand.
293
00:11:55,972 --> 00:11:57,940
I'm Charles Manson's daughter.
294
00:11:57,974 --> 00:12:00,142
His charisma and madness is in my blood.
295
00:12:00,176 --> 00:12:03,562
When I love someone, it drives them insane.
296
00:12:03,613 --> 00:12:05,731
No. I can't.
297
00:12:05,782 --> 00:12:07,683
We can be alibilibidibuddies
and do our best
298
00:12:07,701 --> 00:12:10,018
to protect each other, but
our vaginas may never touch.
299
00:12:10,036 --> 00:12:11,320
It's too dangerous.
300
00:12:15,492 --> 00:12:17,459
Believe me when I say
301
00:12:17,494 --> 00:12:19,695
that if it was possible
for me to feel anything
302
00:12:19,713 --> 00:12:21,714
I would totally be crying right now.
303
00:12:32,726 --> 00:12:34,176
What are you guys doing?
304
00:12:34,210 --> 00:12:36,312
Well, hello, Madam President.
305
00:12:36,346 --> 00:12:38,147
Making chocolate
covered peanuts
306
00:12:38,181 --> 00:12:40,015
for Chanel's special s'mores.
307
00:12:40,049 --> 00:12:41,817
But those are packing peanuts.
308
00:12:41,851 --> 00:12:43,986
That doesn't seem healthy.
309
00:12:44,020 --> 00:12:46,655
Uh, yeah. Cuts the calorie
content in, like, half.
310
00:12:47,574 --> 00:12:48,607
Why are you two back
311
00:12:48,658 --> 00:12:49,725
without any ice?
312
00:12:49,743 --> 00:12:50,993
We have a problem.
313
00:12:51,027 --> 00:12:52,494
All the doors are locked solid.
314
00:12:52,529 --> 00:12:54,496
Windows, too. Upstairs and down.
315
00:13:07,711 --> 00:13:09,178
They're right. We're trapped.
316
00:13:09,212 --> 00:13:11,213
Wait, you guys, I think
I know what this is.
317
00:13:11,247 --> 00:13:12,631
It's probably my dad.
318
00:13:12,682 --> 00:13:14,249
He's been getting on me to stay inside
319
00:13:14,267 --> 00:13:15,751
where it's safe, and I'm pretty sure
320
00:13:15,769 --> 00:13:17,219
he did this because I wouldn't listen.
321
00:13:17,253 --> 00:13:18,470
He sounds like an awful parent.
322
00:13:18,521 --> 00:13:20,022
He's overprotective,
323
00:13:20,056 --> 00:13:21,857
but I'm telling you there
is nothing to worry about.
324
00:13:21,891 --> 00:13:24,526
Of course it's something to
worry about. It's not your dad
325
00:13:24,561 --> 00:13:26,979
and his 1986 Miami Vice
five o'clock shadow.
326
00:13:27,030 --> 00:13:28,697
It was the killer.
327
00:13:28,732 --> 00:13:30,649
But, guys, how did he lock
every window and every door
328
00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:32,201
without us noticing?
329
00:13:32,235 --> 00:13:33,569
He must have hacked into the fail-safe
330
00:13:33,603 --> 00:13:34,620
security system I had installed.
331
00:13:37,073 --> 00:13:39,708
One recent stormy night, Chad and I
332
00:13:39,743 --> 00:13:41,610
watched Panic Room on
Netflix, and Chad was like,
333
00:13:41,628 --> 00:13:42,878
"You totally need one of those."
334
00:13:42,912 --> 00:13:45,164
But Jodie Foster's was small and gross,
335
00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:47,082
so I decided to have the whole
house turned into a panic room.
336
00:13:47,116 --> 00:13:49,385
But wait, doesn't that mean
that there's some sort of switch
337
00:13:49,419 --> 00:13:51,754
somewhere to deactivate
it? Yes, theoretically,
338
00:13:51,788 --> 00:13:54,056
but the guy said the kill
switch was on back order
339
00:13:54,090 --> 00:13:55,624
and he'd have to install
it in a couple of weeks.
340
00:13:55,642 --> 00:13:56,958
Guys, I am freaking out!
341
00:13:56,977 --> 00:13:59,011
I hate being trapped in small places.
342
00:13:59,062 --> 00:14:01,680
Okay, this house is literally,
like, 15,000 square feet.
343
00:14:01,731 --> 00:14:03,399
There's only one reason why the killer
344
00:14:03,433 --> 00:14:05,100
would do something
like this...
345
00:14:05,134 --> 00:14:06,935
To pick us off one by one.
346
00:14:06,969 --> 00:14:08,303
That's what I would do.
347
00:14:09,823 --> 00:14:12,241
Guess it's just a matter
of time before one of us
348
00:14:12,275 --> 00:14:15,277
or all of us ends up dead.
349
00:14:23,492 --> 00:14:25,025
You're go for Chad Radwell.
350
00:14:25,076 --> 00:14:26,577
Chad, it's me, Chanel.
351
00:14:26,611 --> 00:14:29,079
Well, well, well. Isn't this a coincidence.
352
00:14:29,114 --> 00:14:31,949
I was headed over to Kappa House
to steal some of your panties.
353
00:14:31,983 --> 00:14:33,984
Oh, Chad, that's amazing.
I love you so much.
354
00:14:34,002 --> 00:14:35,252
But, Chad, listen.
355
00:14:35,287 --> 00:14:36,954
You have to help us.
356
00:14:36,988 --> 00:14:38,589
We're trapped in the house
and the power went out
357
00:14:38,623 --> 00:14:40,124
and my phone is the only one that's working
358
00:14:40,158 --> 00:14:41,658
because I'm pretty sure the killer
359
00:14:41,676 --> 00:14:43,544
knocked down a cell tower or something.
360
00:14:43,595 --> 00:14:45,045
Wait, well, why does yours work, then?
361
00:14:45,096 --> 00:14:46,430
Because mine's a satellite phone.
362
00:14:46,465 --> 00:14:48,766
Elon Musk gave it to me. It's
designed for space travel.
363
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,384
My dad is super gross rich, Chad.
364
00:14:50,435 --> 00:14:52,603
I know. That's my favorite
thing about you, baby.
365
00:14:52,637 --> 00:14:55,272
Look, Chanel, before I come
and save you and whatnot,
366
00:14:55,307 --> 00:14:57,274
I got to get some things off my chest.
367
00:14:57,309 --> 00:14:59,977
- A, I had sex with the dean.
- What?
368
00:15:00,011 --> 00:15:01,946
Look, I'm prepared to
say I'm sorry I did that.
369
00:15:01,980 --> 00:15:04,315
What I'm not prepared to
do is say the sex was bad.
370
00:15:04,349 --> 00:15:05,682
Because it was not.
371
00:15:05,700 --> 00:15:07,518
Oh, also, I hooked up with
the, uh, security guard.
372
00:15:07,536 --> 00:15:09,353
- Officer Hemphill?
- Yeah.
373
00:15:09,371 --> 00:15:11,121
Yeah. I'm not gonna apologize for that one.
374
00:15:11,156 --> 00:15:12,456
Chad, I'm about to get murdered,
375
00:15:12,491 --> 00:15:14,124
so can you please just
hang up and get over here?
376
00:15:14,159 --> 00:15:15,960
Chad Radwell is on the way.
377
00:15:15,994 --> 00:15:17,995
I love you, Chad.
378
00:15:19,548 --> 00:15:21,966
Hello?
379
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,752
I... love you, too, sort of.
380
00:15:28,507 --> 00:15:31,008
How on earth are we supposed to get in
381
00:15:31,042 --> 00:15:32,977
if all the doors and windows are locked?
382
00:15:33,011 --> 00:15:36,514
Dude, we climb up the ladder,
break the windows upstairs,
383
00:15:36,548 --> 00:15:39,149
save all the girls, climb back down,
384
00:15:39,184 --> 00:15:41,185
then it's Vagina City for all of us.
385
00:15:41,219 --> 00:15:43,153
I thought you said Chanel had
all the windows bomb-proofed
386
00:15:43,188 --> 00:15:44,822
so that we can't break them.
387
00:15:44,856 --> 00:15:47,491
Yeah... downstairs windows, dude.
388
00:15:47,526 --> 00:15:49,326
Why would you bomb-proof upstairs windows?
389
00:15:49,361 --> 00:15:50,611
For what, like, a flying bomb?
390
00:15:50,662 --> 00:15:53,330
A flying bomb would be a missile, Chad.
391
00:15:53,365 --> 00:15:55,499
Honestly, where's the Red
Devil gonna get a missile?
392
00:15:55,534 --> 00:15:58,619
Don't be an idiot. Hold
this. It's hero time.
393
00:16:00,338 --> 00:16:01,672
Ah, here we go.
394
00:16:04,576 --> 00:16:07,511
Oh, Chad, you've come for me.
395
00:16:07,546 --> 00:16:09,179
Save me and I'm yours forever.
396
00:16:09,214 --> 00:16:11,882
Uh...
397
00:16:11,916 --> 00:16:14,018
I'm not really sure I'm ready
for that level of commitment.
398
00:16:14,052 --> 00:16:16,520
Chad, please, I'm trapped
in the house with a killer.
399
00:16:16,555 --> 00:16:17,521
Break the glass!
400
00:16:17,556 --> 00:16:19,974
Not until you take back what you said.
401
00:16:20,025 --> 00:16:22,309
Fine, just save me, Chad.
402
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:23,360
And?
403
00:16:24,396 --> 00:16:26,196
And I'm yours for an amount of time
404
00:16:26,231 --> 00:16:27,648
you feel is appropriate.
405
00:16:27,699 --> 00:16:29,033
Stand back, fair maiden.
406
00:16:29,067 --> 00:16:31,569
Chad's about to be a hero.
407
00:16:36,941 --> 00:16:39,376
Oh, Chad!
408
00:16:39,411 --> 00:16:42,246
Oh...
409
00:16:43,548 --> 00:16:44,832
Whoa, Red Devil!
410
00:16:44,883 --> 00:16:47,284
Get up here now! Go, go, go, go, go. Climb.
411
00:16:47,302 --> 00:16:49,053
Red Devil, coming in hot!
412
00:16:49,087 --> 00:16:50,220
He's moving.
413
00:16:50,255 --> 00:16:51,505
Oh, he's moving, he's moving.
414
00:16:51,556 --> 00:16:53,057
Hurry. Caulfield, you climb.
415
00:16:53,091 --> 00:16:55,509
You climb, you armless bastard!
416
00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:57,227
I'm gonna make
it. I'm gonna make it.
417
00:16:57,262 --> 00:17:00,014
Chad, no, that's the only phone we have!
418
00:17:00,065 --> 00:17:02,600
Tonight is not the night
Caulfield Mount Herman dies!
419
00:17:03,435 --> 00:17:05,019
Come on!
420
00:17:08,607 --> 00:17:10,074
What do we do now?
421
00:17:10,108 --> 00:17:11,692
The only thing we can do:
422
00:17:11,743 --> 00:17:14,244
give him the dignity of watching him die.
423
00:17:20,502 --> 00:17:22,753
Okay, okay,
424
00:17:22,787 --> 00:17:23,954
okay, he's good, he's good.
425
00:17:26,124 --> 00:17:28,042
Oh! God.
426
00:17:30,095 --> 00:17:31,428
No, no, not the head.
427
00:17:31,463 --> 00:17:32,596
Oh, he's going for the...
428
00:17:34,466 --> 00:17:37,051
Well, that answers that.
429
00:17:37,102 --> 00:17:38,969
Someone in this house definitely
knows who the killer is.
430
00:17:39,003 --> 00:17:41,221
I hear you loud and clear,
girl. It's Truth or Dare time.
431
00:17:41,272 --> 00:17:43,307
Wait, Zayday, stop.
432
00:17:43,341 --> 00:17:44,942
Wh-What are we doing?
433
00:17:44,976 --> 00:17:46,560
Whatever it takes to stop
the douche that's trying
434
00:17:46,611 --> 00:17:48,445
to kill everybody. No, I
mean, like, what are we doing?
435
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:50,731
I mean, do you ever just stop
436
00:17:50,782 --> 00:17:53,617
and ask yourself if we
can actually pull this off?
437
00:17:53,652 --> 00:17:54,902
Maybe...
438
00:17:54,953 --> 00:17:57,121
maybe we all just need to get out of here.
439
00:17:57,155 --> 00:17:59,356
Leave school. The best way
440
00:17:59,374 --> 00:18:01,875
to avoid a shark attack
is to not go in the water.
441
00:18:03,712 --> 00:18:05,913
We all have a crisis of faith sometimes.
442
00:18:05,964 --> 00:18:08,865
But no one is gonna tell a sisterhood
443
00:18:08,883 --> 00:18:11,201
with Zayday Williams as the president
444
00:18:11,219 --> 00:18:12,670
when they can and can't go swimming.
445
00:18:12,704 --> 00:18:14,638
So pull it together
446
00:18:14,673 --> 00:18:17,007
and let's go play this
game of Truth or Dare.
447
00:18:17,041 --> 00:18:18,976
'Cause ain't nothing and no one
448
00:18:19,010 --> 00:18:20,761
stopping the hot tsunami of truth
449
00:18:20,812 --> 00:18:22,429
rolling into this house tonight.
450
00:18:27,786 --> 00:18:30,037
All right, you guys.
It's time to play a game
451
00:18:30,088 --> 00:18:33,040
- of Truth or Dare.
- Just saying,
452
00:18:33,091 --> 00:18:34,959
now would be the time
to play Spin the Bottle.
453
00:18:34,993 --> 00:18:36,210
We finally have some Dickies here.
454
00:18:36,261 --> 00:18:37,261
Someone in this house
455
00:18:37,296 --> 00:18:38,329
knows something about the murderer
456
00:18:38,347 --> 00:18:39,430
that they're not telling us,
457
00:18:39,465 --> 00:18:41,382
and I intend to find out what.
458
00:18:41,433 --> 00:18:43,384
Okay, here's how the game works.
459
00:18:43,435 --> 00:18:46,721
When it's your turn, you have
a choice of Truth or Dare.
460
00:18:46,772 --> 00:18:50,475
If you choose truth, you
have to tell the truth.
461
00:18:50,509 --> 00:18:52,560
And if you choose dare...
462
00:18:52,611 --> 00:18:55,947
I don't know. Maybe
you're hiding something.
463
00:18:55,981 --> 00:18:59,116
Ooh! Yes.
464
00:18:59,151 --> 00:19:00,785
But wouldn't you just lie?
465
00:19:00,819 --> 00:19:02,286
I mean, if I were the killer,
466
00:19:02,321 --> 00:19:04,622
I'd pick truth and then just lie.
467
00:19:06,625 --> 00:19:09,126
Uh, well, the-the game's not
Truth or Dare or Lie.
468
00:19:09,161 --> 00:19:11,028
Just Truth or Dare.
469
00:19:11,046 --> 00:19:12,914
If you want to lie, you can just pick dare.
470
00:19:12,965 --> 00:19:16,167
No, you'd pick truth and then you'd lie.
471
00:19:16,201 --> 00:19:19,637
Uh, no, you
can't lie. That's the...
472
00:19:19,671 --> 00:19:22,173
that's the whole point of
Truth or Dare. You can't lie.
473
00:19:22,207 --> 00:19:25,309
But... I'm sorry, the
game's pretty damn simple!
474
00:19:25,344 --> 00:19:29,013
Okay? It's Truth or Dare,
all right? If you pick
475
00:19:29,047 --> 00:19:31,983
truth, you have to tell the
truth. If you pick dare...
476
00:19:32,017 --> 00:19:33,935
it's gonna be really
suspicious, and I'm gonna think
477
00:19:33,986 --> 00:19:36,270
you had something to do
with my sweet bro Boone dying
478
00:19:36,321 --> 00:19:37,488
and my rad bro Caulfield
479
00:19:37,523 --> 00:19:38,889
getting his arms...
480
00:19:38,907 --> 00:19:40,324
and then his head chopped off!
481
00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:43,394
And Dodger. Will you stop
whining about Dodger?!
482
00:19:43,412 --> 00:19:45,062
Everybody agrees that
dude was holding you back.
483
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:46,397
Nobody misses him.
484
00:19:46,415 --> 00:19:47,949
Now let's play some Truth or Dare
485
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,334
and find out who the killer is.
486
00:19:53,539 --> 00:19:56,173
Number Five, truth or dare?
487
00:19:56,208 --> 00:19:57,842
Truth.
488
00:19:57,876 --> 00:19:59,377
Okay. Number Five,
489
00:19:59,411 --> 00:20:01,546
does your vagina have teeth?
490
00:20:05,517 --> 00:20:07,468
That's insane.
491
00:20:07,519 --> 00:20:09,136
No, it doesn't, Chanel.
492
00:20:09,187 --> 00:20:10,471
I thought she wasn't allowed to lie.
493
00:20:10,522 --> 00:20:12,139
I'm not lying.
494
00:20:12,190 --> 00:20:13,257
My vagina doesn't have teeth.
495
00:20:13,275 --> 00:20:14,525
Can I rephrase the question?
496
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:15,526
Does your vagina
497
00:20:15,561 --> 00:20:17,194
still have teeth?
498
00:20:17,229 --> 00:20:19,313
No! The answer is no! "No,
it no longer has teeth,
499
00:20:19,364 --> 00:20:21,482
so it used to have teeth,
but you got them removed"?
500
00:20:21,533 --> 00:20:23,701
No, I didn't. So your
vagina still has teeth.
501
00:20:23,735 --> 00:20:25,036
Which one is it, Number Five?
502
00:20:25,070 --> 00:20:27,438
Sounds like you're
trapped in a web of lies.
503
00:20:27,456 --> 00:20:30,107
You're forfeiting your turn, bitch.
504
00:20:31,443 --> 00:20:34,912
Um... okay, I guess it's my turn, then.
505
00:20:36,448 --> 00:20:38,549
Sam.
506
00:20:38,584 --> 00:20:41,552
Truth... or dare?
507
00:20:41,587 --> 00:20:43,721
Truth.
508
00:20:43,755 --> 00:20:47,391
What is Chanel #3's
deepest, darkest secret?
509
00:20:47,426 --> 00:20:48,843
Oh, my God.
510
00:20:48,894 --> 00:20:50,561
She knows I have weird feelings for her.
511
00:20:50,596 --> 00:20:52,563
She's gonna tell everyone.
I have to just blurt it out.
512
00:20:52,598 --> 00:20:55,132
Her deepest, darkest secret is...
513
00:20:55,150 --> 00:20:57,735
Her father is Charles Manson. I
have weird, sexy feelings for Sam.
514
00:20:57,769 --> 00:20:59,403
What?
515
00:20:59,438 --> 00:21:01,238
Hold on.
516
00:21:01,273 --> 00:21:02,740
What did you just say?
517
00:21:02,774 --> 00:21:06,494
I have weird sexy feelings for Sam.
518
00:21:07,479 --> 00:21:08,913
Wh-What did you just say?
519
00:21:08,947 --> 00:21:10,915
Her father is Charles Manson.
520
00:21:10,949 --> 00:21:14,085
Okay, can I just say, Number
Three is definitely the killer.
521
00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:15,419
No, I'm not!
522
00:21:15,454 --> 00:21:16,954
You promised you wouldn't tell.
523
00:21:16,988 --> 00:21:18,422
Sorry. I had to tell the truth.
524
00:21:18,457 --> 00:21:19,624
Of course you're the killer.
525
00:21:19,658 --> 00:21:20,958
I mean, your dad's Charles Manson, dude.
526
00:21:20,992 --> 00:21:22,593
If you're not the killer,
you should probably...
527
00:21:22,628 --> 00:21:23,761
you know, give it a shot.
528
00:21:23,795 --> 00:21:25,262
I think you'd be pretty good at it.
529
00:21:25,297 --> 00:21:26,964
Thanks.
530
00:21:26,998 --> 00:21:28,999
My turn.
531
00:21:29,017 --> 00:21:31,268
Sam, truth or dare.
532
00:21:31,303 --> 00:21:33,304
I just went. Truth or dare?!
533
00:21:33,338 --> 00:21:34,939
Dare. I dare you
534
00:21:34,973 --> 00:21:37,608
to go down to the creepy
Kappa House basement
535
00:21:37,643 --> 00:21:40,061
where we keep all our
deepest, darkest secrets,
536
00:21:40,112 --> 00:21:42,480
and take a little nap in the bathtub.
537
00:21:44,533 --> 00:21:45,950
Fine.
538
00:21:45,984 --> 00:21:47,652
Oh!
539
00:21:47,686 --> 00:21:49,787
Yes! Bathtub naps. This is getting good.
540
00:21:49,821 --> 00:21:52,573
Okay, guys, I propose
we take a little break,
541
00:21:52,624 --> 00:21:53,791
you know,
542
00:21:53,825 --> 00:21:55,459
take a whiz, get a refill.
543
00:21:55,494 --> 00:21:57,461
Bro, grab my phone.
544
00:21:57,496 --> 00:21:59,630
There's a little playlist I
put together called "Douche."
545
00:21:59,665 --> 00:22:01,916
I want you to call that up
on the Bluetooth speakers
546
00:22:01,967 --> 00:22:03,334
so we can get our dance on.
547
00:22:03,368 --> 00:22:05,336
Truth or dare!
548
00:22:05,370 --> 00:22:07,171
♪ I get knocked down, but I get... ♪
549
00:22:08,707 --> 00:22:10,541
Look, I'm really sorry.
550
00:22:10,559 --> 00:22:14,311
You know what? I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I ever trusted you.
551
00:22:14,346 --> 00:22:16,347
But I wanted to talk about
the other thing you said,
552
00:22:16,381 --> 00:22:18,048
about how you thought
you had feelings for me.
553
00:22:18,066 --> 00:22:19,600
The only feelings I have for you now
554
00:22:19,651 --> 00:22:21,435
are rage and pissed-offedness.
555
00:22:21,486 --> 00:22:23,821
Now go sit in that bathtub and
think about what you've done
556
00:22:23,855 --> 00:22:25,889
and try not to rub one out, okay?
557
00:22:28,393 --> 00:22:31,028
Come on! I said I was sorry!
558
00:22:54,186 --> 00:22:56,187
♪ ♪
559
00:23:39,598 --> 00:23:42,566
Hello?
560
00:23:42,601 --> 00:23:45,302
If anybody's down here,
please don't jump out at me.
561
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:48,355
I have a thing about that.
562
00:23:48,406 --> 00:23:51,141
♪ I get knocked down,
but I get up again ♪
563
00:23:51,159 --> 00:23:53,277
♪ You are never gonna keep me down ♪
564
00:23:53,311 --> 00:23:56,113
♪ I get knocked down,
but I get up again... ♪
565
00:24:12,764 --> 00:24:14,765
Is that blood?
566
00:24:26,478 --> 00:24:28,445
Wait. If you're gonna kill me,
567
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:30,514
at least show me who you are first.
568
00:24:33,518 --> 00:24:35,686
I knew it. I knew it was you.
569
00:24:38,707 --> 00:24:41,625
Please. You don't have to do this.
570
00:24:41,660 --> 00:24:43,627
I could help you.
571
00:24:51,310 --> 00:24:52,927
Hi, Chad.
572
00:24:52,961 --> 00:24:54,295
The killer took all the food
573
00:24:54,313 --> 00:24:56,397
out of all the cabinets and left us nothing
574
00:24:56,432 --> 00:24:57,899
but watermelon lime coolers in the fridge.
575
00:24:59,235 --> 00:25:01,069
He's trying to starve us to death.
576
00:25:01,103 --> 00:25:03,188
There's never any food
in there. Just laxatives.
577
00:25:03,239 --> 00:25:05,240
Chanel's orders. Chad,
578
00:25:05,274 --> 00:25:07,442
after our erotic bonding
session in the cemetery
579
00:25:07,476 --> 00:25:10,078
and our coitus interruptus
in the haunted house,
580
00:25:10,112 --> 00:25:12,580
I got the impression that
you and I are on the verge
581
00:25:12,615 --> 00:25:14,782
of being the next "it" couple.
582
00:25:14,833 --> 00:25:17,035
Yeah.
583
00:25:17,086 --> 00:25:19,287
I just don't know what
would make you think that.
584
00:25:19,321 --> 00:25:21,256
You texted me saying, "We are on the verge
585
00:25:21,290 --> 00:25:23,208
of being the next 'it'
couple, Hester. Love, Chad."
586
00:25:23,259 --> 00:25:25,260
See, this is the problem
with texting, you know?
587
00:25:25,294 --> 00:25:27,428
You can't hear the context.
588
00:25:27,463 --> 00:25:29,597
You've been spending a lot
of time with Chanel tonight.
589
00:25:29,632 --> 00:25:32,934
Even though I decided to not wear a bra,
590
00:25:32,968 --> 00:25:36,604
you haven't been staring
at my shirt raisins once.
591
00:25:36,639 --> 00:25:38,940
Okay, look, I was waiting
to talk to you about this
592
00:25:38,974 --> 00:25:40,775
'cause secretly I was
hoping you'd be killed
593
00:25:40,809 --> 00:25:42,510
and I wouldn't have to hurt your feelings.
594
00:25:42,528 --> 00:25:44,646
I just don't think it
would work out with us.
595
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:47,348
You're nuts, and not like
a typical crazy-eyes co-ed,
596
00:25:47,366 --> 00:25:49,317
but wake-up-with-my
penis-in-a-jar lunatic.
597
00:25:49,351 --> 00:25:51,185
Now, that puts me in a tough spot
598
00:25:51,203 --> 00:25:53,621
because that also means
you'd be the screw of my life.
599
00:25:53,656 --> 00:25:55,490
I mean, that kind of
insanity means your muffin...
600
00:25:55,524 --> 00:25:57,125
It's Space Mountain levels of fun.
601
00:25:57,159 --> 00:26:00,161
I love Space Mountain.
Best ride at Disneyland.
602
00:26:00,195 --> 00:26:01,496
But I love my penis more.
603
00:26:01,530 --> 00:26:03,298
Let me tell you two things about me.
604
00:26:03,332 --> 00:26:04,966
Okay.
605
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:08,303
Number one... I never
take second place.
606
00:26:08,337 --> 00:26:11,973
And number two... I don't
stop till I get what I want.
607
00:26:12,007 --> 00:26:13,040
What's going on in here?
608
00:26:13,058 --> 00:26:14,642
Nothing, Chanel.
609
00:26:14,677 --> 00:26:17,712
Just getting some wine
coolers for my sisters.
610
00:26:17,730 --> 00:26:20,682
By the way, Chanel, you
look amazing tonight.
611
00:26:20,716 --> 00:26:22,684
Being imprisoned by a psycho killer
612
00:26:22,718 --> 00:26:24,552
in your own house really suits you.
613
00:26:28,357 --> 00:26:30,358
Was that salad spinner hitting on you?
614
00:26:30,392 --> 00:26:33,227
Yeah, totally, which is
why I'm glad you showed up.
615
00:26:33,245 --> 00:26:36,497
I am super turned on from her,
and I need some sweet release.
616
00:26:36,532 --> 00:26:39,117
Is there any, like,
Crisco or cooking oil here?
617
00:26:39,168 --> 00:26:40,868
Just, like, dry handies bum me out.
618
00:26:42,538 --> 00:26:44,038
I have a better idea.
619
00:26:44,072 --> 00:26:45,239
Let's go out
620
00:26:45,257 --> 00:26:46,574
and join the others.
621
00:26:46,592 --> 00:26:48,009
It's game time again.
622
00:26:50,212 --> 00:26:53,247
As Kappa House copresident,
I think I can speak
623
00:26:53,265 --> 00:26:56,184
for everyone when I say
we've all been through hell.
624
00:26:56,218 --> 00:26:59,687
So, I propose we treat
ourselves to a little heaven.
625
00:26:59,722 --> 00:27:01,189
Seven Minutes in Heaven.
626
00:27:01,223 --> 00:27:02,357
I go first,
627
00:27:02,391 --> 00:27:04,192
and I pick Chad. Wait. No. Hold on.
628
00:27:04,226 --> 00:27:05,360
The whole point of this slumber party was
629
00:27:05,394 --> 00:27:06,561
to figure out who the killer is.
630
00:27:06,595 --> 00:27:07,812
Oh, give it a rest,
631
00:27:07,863 --> 00:27:09,030
Nancy Drew.
632
00:27:09,064 --> 00:27:10,765
Whatever your plan was, it isn't working.
633
00:27:10,783 --> 00:27:12,233
So, if you'll excuse me for seven minutes,
634
00:27:12,267 --> 00:27:14,902
I'm going to ask my
boyfriend, Chad Radwell,
635
00:27:14,936 --> 00:27:16,404
to dial "O"
636
00:27:16,438 --> 00:27:17,572
on my pink telephone.
637
00:27:17,606 --> 00:27:19,040
Chad?
638
00:27:19,074 --> 00:27:20,908
Would you like to pat the
little man in the canoe?
639
00:27:29,284 --> 00:27:30,785
I'm making out with you.
640
00:27:30,803 --> 00:27:32,787
I'm making out with you so hard.
641
00:27:34,223 --> 00:27:35,956
- Oh, Chad?
- Mm-hmm.
642
00:27:35,974 --> 00:27:37,592
Chad? Mm-hmm.
643
00:27:37,626 --> 00:27:40,628
I want to take our
relationship to the next level.
644
00:27:40,646 --> 00:27:42,397
What?
645
00:27:42,431 --> 00:27:44,799
Well...
646
00:27:44,817 --> 00:27:46,100
I want us to be together,
647
00:27:46,134 --> 00:27:48,069
but I want it to mean something.
648
00:27:48,103 --> 00:27:50,104
Yeah. No, I'm ready to do this.
649
00:27:50,138 --> 00:27:52,573
- What? Really?
- Definitely. I mean,
650
00:27:52,608 --> 00:27:54,859
I love boning girls all
over this great land.
651
00:27:54,910 --> 00:27:57,111
But really, at the end of the day,
652
00:27:57,145 --> 00:27:58,746
I just kind of want to bone one girl.
653
00:27:58,781 --> 00:28:00,981
Like, that one special girl. Mm-hmm.
654
00:28:00,999 --> 00:28:03,201
And I don't know. I just
didn't think that girl was you
655
00:28:03,252 --> 00:28:05,586
because, obviously, there's
so much wrong with you.
656
00:28:05,621 --> 00:28:09,257
But then I think about
the good things about you.
657
00:28:09,291 --> 00:28:12,794
Like... like how gullible you are,
658
00:28:12,828 --> 00:28:14,796
how rich your dad is.
659
00:28:14,830 --> 00:28:17,164
And when I think
about that girl...
660
00:28:17,182 --> 00:28:20,268
The really rich one
who's easy to trick...
661
00:28:20,302 --> 00:28:21,936
I think she's pretty special, too.
662
00:28:21,970 --> 00:28:23,771
Chad!
663
00:28:28,343 --> 00:28:30,511
Chanel?
664
00:28:30,529 --> 00:28:32,780
Will you get back together with me?
665
00:28:32,815 --> 00:28:37,235
Look, all of these murders
on campus have caused me
666
00:28:37,286 --> 00:28:39,620
to do a lot of soul searching,
667
00:28:39,655 --> 00:28:41,522
and I think I've arrived at a place
668
00:28:41,540 --> 00:28:43,124
of deep personal awareness.
669
00:28:43,158 --> 00:28:47,912
So, I would consider taking
you back under one condition.
670
00:28:47,963 --> 00:28:51,532
You have to pinky-pledge that
you will be monogamous to me.
671
00:28:51,550 --> 00:28:53,668
You will not have sex with anyone else.
672
00:28:53,702 --> 00:28:54,802
Do you understand me?
673
00:29:04,146 --> 00:29:05,847
Okay.
674
00:29:05,881 --> 00:29:07,548
Oh, Chad!
675
00:29:08,884 --> 00:29:11,652
Okay, time's up.
676
00:29:13,522 --> 00:29:15,490
Roger, we're next.
677
00:29:15,524 --> 00:29:17,658
Roger?!
678
00:29:34,877 --> 00:29:36,344
I came to see if Sam needed anything,
679
00:29:36,378 --> 00:29:37,712
but she doesn't because she's dead!
680
00:29:37,746 --> 00:29:40,548
Dude, she looks like prepackaged
meat from the supermarket.
681
00:29:40,582 --> 00:29:41,883
Chanel ♪3 is standing right there.
682
00:29:41,917 --> 00:29:43,134
Show some respect.
683
00:29:43,185 --> 00:29:44,552
We weren't dating. CHANEL: Wait.
684
00:29:44,586 --> 00:29:46,587
If she's dead and all the doors
are locked from the outside,
685
00:29:46,605 --> 00:29:48,022
that means the killer is in the house!
686
00:29:48,056 --> 00:29:49,891
Oh, God, has someone checked on the kids?
687
00:29:49,925 --> 00:29:52,059
The killer is
standing right in front of us.
688
00:29:52,093 --> 00:29:54,812
Pretty convenient that you're
the one who found the body.
689
00:29:54,863 --> 00:29:56,647
I would be offended by
that accusation, Chanel,
690
00:29:56,698 --> 00:29:59,066
if I wasn't so honored that
you were thinking about me.
691
00:29:59,100 --> 00:30:00,768
You can knock off the "neck
brace in the headlights" act.
692
00:30:00,786 --> 00:30:02,069
You're the darkest bitch of them all.
693
00:30:02,103 --> 00:30:04,071
Number 3 told me that you were the one
694
00:30:04,105 --> 00:30:05,740
who turned me in to the police.
695
00:30:05,774 --> 00:30:07,325
Those are some serious accusations,
696
00:30:07,376 --> 00:30:08,776
and they make no sense.
697
00:30:08,794 --> 00:30:10,211
Considering everything that I've seen
698
00:30:10,245 --> 00:30:12,213
and done for you here,
Chanel... Ms. Bean,
699
00:30:12,247 --> 00:30:14,582
Number Two. I would be
opening myself up to a lot
700
00:30:14,616 --> 00:30:16,384
of trouble if I were to turn
you in to the authorities.
701
00:30:16,418 --> 00:30:17,718
It doesn't do any of us any good
702
00:30:17,753 --> 00:30:19,554
to start accusing each
other with no evidence.
703
00:30:19,588 --> 00:30:20,721
But it is pretty suspicious
704
00:30:20,756 --> 00:30:22,590
that you're the one who found her, Hester.
705
00:30:22,624 --> 00:30:24,342
Okay, I understand.
706
00:30:24,393 --> 00:30:26,761
I suggest that we just have
someone stand guard and watch me
707
00:30:26,795 --> 00:30:28,963
for the rest of the night,
or until someone else dies,
708
00:30:28,981 --> 00:30:30,565
therefore proving that I am not the killer.
709
00:30:30,599 --> 00:30:31,732
I nominate Chad.
710
00:30:31,767 --> 00:30:33,401
Screw that, Evil Harrington.
711
00:30:33,435 --> 00:30:35,436
We're locking you upstairs in my closet
712
00:30:35,470 --> 00:30:37,438
until we can find a way out of here.
713
00:30:46,832 --> 00:30:48,533
This feels so good.
714
00:30:48,584 --> 00:30:51,369
Yeah, it does. No, not this.
715
00:30:51,420 --> 00:30:54,372
I mean, it feels so good
now that my brother's gone.
716
00:30:54,423 --> 00:30:56,323
It's such a relief.
717
00:30:56,341 --> 00:30:58,543
The only time we've ever been apart
718
00:30:58,594 --> 00:31:00,962
was the two minutes
that separated our birth.
719
00:31:00,996 --> 00:31:02,597
The only bummer is, like,
720
00:31:02,631 --> 00:31:04,465
we created this amazing clicking language,
721
00:31:04,499 --> 00:31:06,467
and now I have nobody to use it with.
722
00:31:06,501 --> 00:31:08,669
Wait. I could teach you!
723
00:31:08,687 --> 00:31:11,939
Okay, okay, so, two high
clicks means, "Hello."
724
00:31:11,974 --> 00:31:13,274
Okay, so...
725
00:31:14,860 --> 00:31:16,277
And three low clicks means,
726
00:31:16,311 --> 00:31:18,229
"Man, this ice cream is delicious."
727
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:19,280
Okay, so...
728
00:31:41,470 --> 00:31:43,388
I tried to scream, but nothing came out!
729
00:31:43,422 --> 00:31:44,972
Roger... Roger...
730
00:31:45,007 --> 00:31:46,424
And then he was just gone!
731
00:31:46,475 --> 00:31:48,426
The Red Devil shot Roger in the head
732
00:31:48,477 --> 00:31:50,395
with the nail gun, and
then he just disappeared!
733
00:31:50,429 --> 00:31:52,730
Okay. Here's what we know.
734
00:31:52,765 --> 00:31:55,483
One... Number Five is a
psychopath who no one likes.
735
00:31:55,517 --> 00:31:56,484
Two...
736
00:31:56,518 --> 00:31:57,885
She went in the closet
737
00:31:57,903 --> 00:32:00,104
to play Seven Minutes in
Heaven with her boyfriend,
738
00:32:00,155 --> 00:32:01,555
and then he ends up dead!
739
00:32:01,573 --> 00:32:03,074
Clearly, Chanel #5 is the killer!
740
00:32:03,108 --> 00:32:05,410
But when the Dickie Dollars got attacked,
741
00:32:05,444 --> 00:32:07,945
and Caulfield got his arms chopped off...
742
00:32:07,996 --> 00:32:10,615
there were two Devils. Dos Diablos.
743
00:32:10,666 --> 00:32:13,584
Okay, fine. Hester is one of the killers,
744
00:32:13,619 --> 00:32:15,453
and the other is Chanel #5.
745
00:32:15,504 --> 00:32:17,755
Even though I firmly believe
the psychotic twin duo
746
00:32:17,790 --> 00:32:19,907
of Number Five and Number
Six are the killers...
747
00:32:19,925 --> 00:32:21,125
Oh.
748
00:32:21,176 --> 00:32:22,627
I have a pressing question
749
00:32:22,678 --> 00:32:24,178
for Haggie Gyllenhaal.
750
00:32:24,213 --> 00:32:26,297
Isn't it interesting that my former stalker
751
00:32:26,348 --> 00:32:28,683
and your current boyfriend
Pete isn't here tonight?
752
00:32:28,717 --> 00:32:30,802
He told me he was studying tonight.
753
00:32:30,853 --> 00:32:33,254
He did. He
told me he was studying.
754
00:32:33,272 --> 00:32:34,355
Interesting.
755
00:32:34,390 --> 00:32:35,640
That's all I'm gonna say.
756
00:32:35,691 --> 00:32:36,808
Interesting.
757
00:32:36,859 --> 00:32:38,976
Oh, dudes,
758
00:32:39,027 --> 00:32:40,862
there is a trapdoor
759
00:32:40,896 --> 00:32:42,263
with, like, a tunnel system.
760
00:32:42,281 --> 00:32:43,931
See, Chanel? I wasn't lying.
761
00:32:43,949 --> 00:32:45,099
But wait, there are secret tunnels
762
00:32:45,117 --> 00:32:47,318
in this house perfect for a killer to use,
763
00:32:47,369 --> 00:32:49,153
and you neglected to tell us?
764
00:32:49,204 --> 00:32:50,655
That's a little suspicious.
765
00:32:50,706 --> 00:32:52,773
Okay, look. We are losing
sight of the big picture here.
766
00:32:52,791 --> 00:32:53,825
Chanel couldn't have killed Roger
767
00:32:53,876 --> 00:32:55,460
because she was with us when it happened.
768
00:32:55,494 --> 00:32:57,044
None of us killed him. While Chanel #5
769
00:32:57,079 --> 00:32:58,663
and Roger were in the closet,
770
00:32:58,714 --> 00:33:01,299
we were all together... which
means none of us did it.
771
00:33:01,333 --> 00:33:02,783
I'm going down there. Are you crazy?!
772
00:33:02,801 --> 00:33:04,635
The Red Devil could still be in the house.
773
00:33:04,670 --> 00:33:06,838
Both of the Red Devils
could still be in the house.
774
00:33:06,889 --> 00:33:08,556
Look, this house is sealed up, right?
775
00:33:08,590 --> 00:33:10,725
Doors and windows locked. So if none of us
776
00:33:10,759 --> 00:33:13,561
is the killer, that tunnel
is how the Red Devil got in.
777
00:33:13,595 --> 00:33:15,129
That also means it's our way out.
778
00:33:15,147 --> 00:33:16,681
I'm not going down there.
779
00:33:16,732 --> 00:33:18,632
I do not dig on cobwebs, and I'm guessing
780
00:33:18,650 --> 00:33:20,351
there are loads of cobwebs down there.
781
00:33:20,402 --> 00:33:22,803
I'm going with her.
782
00:33:22,821 --> 00:33:24,522
We're copresidents of this house
783
00:33:24,573 --> 00:33:27,275
and responsible for what
happens under this roof.
784
00:33:29,077 --> 00:33:30,978
: Chanel...
785
00:33:30,996 --> 00:33:33,197
if you get murdered in those tunnels,
786
00:33:33,248 --> 00:33:36,650
I promise I will never bang
anyone harder than I banged you.
787
00:33:36,668 --> 00:33:37,502
Chad...
788
00:33:37,536 --> 00:33:38,419
Let's do this.
789
00:33:38,454 --> 00:33:41,005
I love you.
790
00:33:41,039 --> 00:33:43,674
Oh... you're so rich and hot.
791
00:33:56,104 --> 00:33:58,055
♪ ♪
792
00:34:06,782 --> 00:34:09,734
These are the nicest secret
tunnels I've ever seen.
793
00:34:09,785 --> 00:34:11,736
These tunnels were designed and decorated
794
00:34:11,787 --> 00:34:15,406
by founding Kappa sister
Madam Cynthia Rogers Bouvet.
795
00:34:15,457 --> 00:34:18,025
She was the interior decorator
for both the Cleveland
796
00:34:18,043 --> 00:34:20,578
and Taft Administrations.
797
00:34:27,002 --> 00:34:31,205
She had affairs with both of them.
798
00:34:31,223 --> 00:34:34,225
Rumor has it Taft fell
asleep while mounting her
799
00:34:34,259 --> 00:34:37,645
and crushed her to death.
800
00:34:37,679 --> 00:34:39,931
These are all past presidents.
801
00:34:39,982 --> 00:34:41,933
Marcy
Weiss...
802
00:34:41,984 --> 00:34:44,735
Kappa president 1928 to 1930.
803
00:34:44,770 --> 00:34:47,438
She helped Kappa avoid the
misery of the Great Depression
804
00:34:47,489 --> 00:34:49,824
by kicking out any sister
whose family was affected
805
00:34:49,858 --> 00:34:52,360
by the crash of '29 and
couldn't pay their dues.
806
00:34:53,695 --> 00:34:55,246
Wandy
Hart...
807
00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:57,248
Kappa president 1970.
808
00:34:57,282 --> 00:34:58,666
Personally responsible
809
00:34:58,700 --> 00:35:00,952
for crushing the antiwar movement on campus
810
00:35:01,003 --> 00:35:04,405
by having the administration
ban macramé, fringed vests
811
00:35:04,423 --> 00:35:06,841
and Creedence Clearwater Revival songs.
812
00:35:07,876 --> 00:35:09,927
Missy
Carmichael...
813
00:35:09,962 --> 00:35:12,129
Kappa president 1986.
814
00:35:12,180 --> 00:35:15,766
A pioneer in bringing
cocaine to Kappa Kappa Tau.
815
00:35:17,803 --> 00:35:19,520
Wow. What amazing legacies
816
00:35:19,555 --> 00:35:20,805
they all have.
817
00:35:20,856 --> 00:35:22,756
What do you think ours will be?
818
00:35:22,774 --> 00:35:25,426
If we can get through this year
without everyone getting killed,
819
00:35:25,444 --> 00:35:27,979
I think we'll go down as
the greatest of them all.
820
00:36:02,230 --> 00:36:03,464
Oh...
821
00:36:06,184 --> 00:36:08,019
Come on!
822
00:36:17,245 --> 00:36:19,914
- You came back for me.
- Purely selfish.
823
00:36:19,948 --> 00:36:23,084
If I'm gonna survive this thing,
I'm gonna need the numbers.
824
00:36:27,277 --> 00:36:28,811
Don't you see that all the killings
825
00:36:28,845 --> 00:36:30,613
have been about Kappa?
Well, except for Coney,
826
00:36:30,647 --> 00:36:32,348
but he was just
irritating.
827
00:36:32,366 --> 00:36:34,567
Yeah, that's becoming pretty obvious.
828
00:36:34,618 --> 00:36:35,851
You are probably
829
00:36:35,869 --> 00:36:37,620
the worst cop ever.
830
00:36:37,654 --> 00:36:39,906
We're
pretty much gonna focus
831
00:36:39,957 --> 00:36:42,074
all of our attention on
protecting this house.
832
00:36:42,125 --> 00:36:43,192
I'm gonna have uniformed officers
833
00:36:43,210 --> 00:36:44,693
posted outside 24/7.
834
00:36:44,711 --> 00:36:47,163
That is fantastic news.
835
00:36:47,197 --> 00:36:48,798
What's fantastic?
836
00:36:48,832 --> 00:36:50,533
Come on.
837
00:36:50,551 --> 00:36:53,702
You and I both know that that
lesbian was cannon fodder.
838
00:36:53,720 --> 00:36:54,870
And think about it.
839
00:36:54,888 --> 00:36:56,672
What kind of life was that guy gonna live
840
00:36:56,706 --> 00:36:58,808
with no arms, really?
841
00:36:58,842 --> 00:37:00,977
They were but a small price to pay
842
00:37:01,011 --> 00:37:03,763
for the knowledge that I
can now place a robocall
843
00:37:03,814 --> 00:37:07,350
to every parent and student
at this university saying
844
00:37:07,384 --> 00:37:11,387
that as long as they are not a
sister of, pledging, or sleeping
845
00:37:11,405 --> 00:37:14,890
with someone from Kappa
House, they are safe
846
00:37:14,908 --> 00:37:17,109
to resume normal school activities.
847
00:37:17,160 --> 00:37:18,227
Grace.
848
00:37:18,245 --> 00:37:21,163
Dad, hi.
849
00:37:21,198 --> 00:37:23,165
Oh, thank God. Hi.
850
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:26,035
What's wrong? Grace. Come on.
851
00:37:26,069 --> 00:37:27,503
Wait, where are we going?
852
00:37:27,538 --> 00:37:28,904
Out of here.
853
00:37:28,922 --> 00:37:31,791
No, Dad, I'm not leaving.
854
00:37:31,842 --> 00:37:34,343
Not now. Not when my
sisters need me the most.
855
00:37:34,378 --> 00:37:36,745
Your sisters are getting
picked off like ducks on a pond!
856
00:37:36,763 --> 00:37:38,047
I won't go!
857
00:37:38,081 --> 00:37:39,632
And you can't make me.
858
00:37:39,683 --> 00:37:41,801
In three seconds,
859
00:37:41,852 --> 00:37:44,420
I'm gonna pick you up
and carry you out of here.
860
00:37:44,438 --> 00:37:45,521
Do you understand me?
861
00:37:45,556 --> 00:37:46,522
I don't think so,
862
00:37:46,557 --> 00:37:48,858
Dad. You're a good man,
863
00:37:48,892 --> 00:37:50,810
and I love the way you love her.
864
00:37:50,861 --> 00:37:52,761
But if sister wants to stay,
865
00:37:52,779 --> 00:37:53,896
she's staying.
866
00:37:57,901 --> 00:38:00,653
Oh. Um, I-I just kind of came over here
867
00:38:00,704 --> 00:38:02,771
because I farted over
there and it smelled bad.
868
00:38:07,578 --> 00:38:09,328
Okay.
869
00:38:09,379 --> 00:38:11,831
Dad.
870
00:38:11,882 --> 00:38:13,833
Dad, can...
871
00:38:18,288 --> 00:38:21,257
I'm sorry about Roger. Or Dodger.
872
00:38:21,291 --> 00:38:23,092
Well, both.
873
00:38:23,126 --> 00:38:24,627
Thanks.
874
00:38:24,645 --> 00:38:26,395
I'm sorry about Sam.
875
00:38:26,430 --> 00:38:28,064
Thanks.
876
00:38:28,098 --> 00:38:29,899
I miss her.
877
00:38:29,933 --> 00:38:31,017
I loved her.
878
00:38:31,068 --> 00:38:33,569
Her tattoos and the way she wore
879
00:38:33,604 --> 00:38:36,689
that hat without any irony at all.
880
00:38:36,740 --> 00:38:39,025
She awakened a deep sexual honesty in me
881
00:38:39,076 --> 00:38:41,360
that, up until now, I was afraid to admit.
882
00:38:41,411 --> 00:38:42,912
Wait, you're a lesbian?
883
00:38:42,946 --> 00:38:44,813
No. At first, my feelings
884
00:38:44,831 --> 00:38:46,449
for Sam made me think I was.
885
00:38:46,483 --> 00:38:49,452
But then, in that
moment, when I kissed her,
886
00:38:49,486 --> 00:38:52,121
I realized I didn't care
if she was a girl or a guy.
887
00:38:52,155 --> 00:38:55,124
Basically, I'm in love with love.
888
00:38:55,158 --> 00:38:57,126
And Sam dying taught me that...
889
00:38:57,160 --> 00:39:00,463
the next time I feel love for
someone, I'm going to tell them.
890
00:39:00,497 --> 00:39:02,465
Right away.
891
00:39:02,499 --> 00:39:04,300
Just in case they're murdered before I can.
892
00:39:04,334 --> 00:39:07,002
It was like her final gift to you.
893
00:39:07,020 --> 00:39:09,004
That's a nice way of thinking about it.
894
00:39:09,022 --> 00:39:11,140
Makes me feel a little less
guilty about condemning her
895
00:39:11,174 --> 00:39:13,392
to die by daring her to go
down to the basement alone.
896
00:39:13,443 --> 00:39:17,279
I'd always felt like I'd won the
lottery with Roger and Dodger.
897
00:39:17,314 --> 00:39:18,447
I mean, I never thought
898
00:39:18,482 --> 00:39:20,066
they'd both get killed.
899
00:39:20,117 --> 00:39:22,318
What are the chances,
right? I just feel like
900
00:39:22,352 --> 00:39:23,736
I'm never gonna find a guy who likes me.
901
00:39:23,787 --> 00:39:26,522
Let alone two who look exactly alike.
902
00:39:26,540 --> 00:39:27,740
I'm a freak.
903
00:39:27,791 --> 00:39:29,959
I mean, the only reason I'm in this house
904
00:39:29,993 --> 00:39:32,294
is 'cause I'm a legacy.
905
00:39:32,329 --> 00:39:34,413
Nobody actually likes me.
906
00:39:34,464 --> 00:39:36,198
Chanel has the whole campus convinced
907
00:39:36,216 --> 00:39:38,834
that my vagina has teeth.
908
00:39:38,868 --> 00:39:42,505
You are totally gonna find another guy.
909
00:39:42,539 --> 00:39:44,707
You're super cute, and you're a Kappa.
910
00:39:44,725 --> 00:39:47,476
And I'm sure there's some
awesome dude out there
911
00:39:47,511 --> 00:39:49,378
who will accept you for who
you are, vaginal teeth and all.
912
00:39:49,396 --> 00:39:51,480
Thanks.
913
00:39:51,515 --> 00:39:53,482
And let's make a pact.
914
00:39:53,517 --> 00:39:55,151
No matter what happens,
915
00:39:55,185 --> 00:39:57,019
no matter what dignity
we have to sacrifice,
916
00:39:57,053 --> 00:39:58,688
what laws we have to break,
917
00:39:58,722 --> 00:40:00,940
what bodies we have to step over,
918
00:40:00,991 --> 00:40:04,226
you and I are going to outlive Chanel.
919
00:40:04,244 --> 00:40:05,194
Deal?
920
00:40:06,246 --> 00:40:07,863
Deal.
921
00:40:07,897 --> 00:40:10,533
Pledges and sisters
922
00:40:10,567 --> 00:40:13,002
of Kappa House, thanks to me,
923
00:40:13,036 --> 00:40:14,704
you've all survived yet another attack
924
00:40:14,738 --> 00:40:16,455
from the Red Devil killer.
925
00:40:16,506 --> 00:40:19,208
Once again, death came to Kappa House,
926
00:40:19,242 --> 00:40:21,410
and once again that death, while tragic,
927
00:40:21,428 --> 00:40:23,245
has brought us all closer together.
928
00:40:23,263 --> 00:40:25,047
I even kind of like Zayday now.
929
00:40:26,016 --> 00:40:27,082
And I got gifts.
930
00:40:29,936 --> 00:40:31,971
Giant, pink
931
00:40:32,022 --> 00:40:33,255
chopsticks.
932
00:40:33,273 --> 00:40:35,924
No. They're custom-made pink nunchaku.
933
00:40:35,942 --> 00:40:37,926
Oh. If I can impart anything
934
00:40:37,944 --> 00:40:40,062
on you slits over the course of this year,
935
00:40:40,096 --> 00:40:43,032
it's that Kappas don't
take any crap from anyone.
936
00:40:43,066 --> 00:40:45,367
Guys, I joined this sorority
to feel close to my mom,
937
00:40:45,402 --> 00:40:48,037
to get a taste of the sisterhood
that she was so inspired by.
938
00:40:48,071 --> 00:40:50,272
And after last night, I really feel it.
939
00:40:50,290 --> 00:40:52,708
I'm with you guys, no
matter what.
940
00:40:52,743 --> 00:40:53,909
Thank you for making that announcement
941
00:40:53,943 --> 00:40:55,044
that no one cared about.
942
00:40:55,078 --> 00:40:57,913
Now, I pledge that from this night on,
943
00:40:57,947 --> 00:40:59,381
we will not lose any more of our sisters.
944
00:40:59,416 --> 00:41:00,666
How are you gonna do that?
945
00:41:00,717 --> 00:41:02,551
We are gonna take the fight to him.
946
00:41:02,586 --> 00:41:05,004
I will not rest until we have the Red Devil
947
00:41:05,055 --> 00:41:08,090
or Red Devils' heads on spikes
on the front lawn of this house.
948
00:41:08,124 --> 00:41:10,593
Well, that's all well and good,
949
00:41:10,627 --> 00:41:12,678
but we all know that it was
950
00:41:12,729 --> 00:41:14,430
my slumber party idea that made this whole
951
00:41:14,464 --> 00:41:16,766
"'We Are the World' Hands
Across America" stuff happen.
952
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:19,769
And we never got to
appropriately finish said party.
953
00:41:19,803 --> 00:41:21,604
Now, I don't know about you guys,
954
00:41:21,638 --> 00:41:23,572
but in O-Town,
955
00:41:23,607 --> 00:41:25,357
no slumber party is finished
956
00:41:25,408 --> 00:41:27,359
without a kickass dance party.
957
00:41:27,410 --> 00:41:29,144
What, what?!
958
00:41:35,118 --> 00:41:37,620
This is so wonderfully random.
959
00:41:37,654 --> 00:41:39,321
I know. What a great way to pretend
960
00:41:39,339 --> 00:41:41,490
all these people we know
weren't brutally murdered.
961
00:41:41,508 --> 00:41:44,710
- ♪ There's nothing you and
I won't do ♪ - Stop.
962
00:41:44,761 --> 00:41:48,431
- Kappa...! - ♪ I'll stop
the world and melt with you. ♪
963
00:41:48,465 --> 00:41:50,846
Sync & corrections by wilson0804
www.Addic7ed.com
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