1
00:00:00,088 --> 00:00:04,110
<i>Previously on Scream Queens...
You need to choose one of us.</i>

2
00:00:04,161 --> 00:00:05,795
Fine, Roger,
I'm coming with you.

3
00:00:05,830 --> 00:00:07,730
If someone found out my
dad is Charles Manson,

4
00:00:07,765 --> 00:00:09,699
everyone would immediately
assume the killer is me.

5
00:00:09,733 --> 00:00:11,251
<i>The Red Devil kidnapped me</i>

6
00:00:11,285 --> 00:00:12,869
and took me to his evil lair.

7
00:00:12,903 --> 00:00:14,570
The Red Devil is in love with you?

8
00:00:14,588 --> 00:00:16,906
Tonight we cast our
votes for the next president

9
00:00:16,924 --> 00:00:17,907
of Kappa House.

10
00:00:17,925 --> 00:00:19,075
Grab some marbles.

11
00:00:19,093 --> 00:00:20,426
It's time to vote.

12
00:00:22,263 --> 00:00:24,264
♪ ♪

13
00:00:27,751 --> 00:00:28,918
♪ Baby ♪

14
00:00:28,936 --> 00:00:30,103
♪ I can't wait ♪

15
00:00:58,632 --> 00:01:00,616
All right, so remind me again.

16
00:01:00,634 --> 00:01:03,469
It's black for Zayday, white for Chanel?

17
00:01:03,504 --> 00:01:05,922
Obv. Do you think you can handle that?

18
00:01:05,956 --> 00:01:07,924
I only gave you the job
of tallying the votes

19
00:01:07,958 --> 00:01:09,259
because I thought you Rain Man types

20
00:01:09,293 --> 00:01:10,626
were super good at counting.

21
00:01:10,644 --> 00:01:12,295
Or are you one of those idiot savants

22
00:01:12,313 --> 00:01:14,964
who's heavy on the idiot,
light on the savant?

23
00:01:14,982 --> 00:01:16,799
I am neither, thank you very much.

24
00:01:16,817 --> 00:01:19,635
Years before the Psychoanalytic
Society of America decided

25
00:01:19,653 --> 00:01:21,637
there was money to be made
by creating what they called

26
00:01:21,655 --> 00:01:23,139
the autism spectrum,

27
00:01:23,157 --> 00:01:24,473
I would have been considered

28
00:01:24,491 --> 00:01:27,827
a daydreamer or quirky,
like a young Zooey Deschanel.

29
00:01:27,862 --> 00:01:29,946
I am not an idiot

30
00:01:29,980 --> 00:01:33,833
or a moron. I am simply
a victim of my times.

31
00:01:33,868 --> 00:01:35,484
Are you aware your pants are on backwards?

32
00:01:36,820 --> 00:01:38,671
Start counting the damn votes.

33
00:01:38,706 --> 00:01:41,174
Wait, what happens if it's a tie?

34
00:01:41,208 --> 00:01:43,509
It's never happened before,
but Kappa bylaws state

35
00:01:43,544 --> 00:01:45,879
that the two of them would rule together.

36
00:01:47,214 --> 00:01:49,182
It's a tie.

37
00:01:49,216 --> 00:01:51,467
You did it!

38
00:01:51,501 --> 00:01:53,136
Well, sort of.

39
00:01:53,170 --> 00:01:55,555
I know it's not ideal,
but I think you and I

40
00:01:55,606 --> 00:01:57,006
would make great copresidents.

41
00:01:57,024 --> 00:02:01,227
What? No, I'm not gonna be
copresident with a pledge!

42
00:02:01,278 --> 00:02:04,814
Farty McCandlewax clearly
miscounted the votes!

43
00:02:04,848 --> 00:02:06,366
Calm down, Chanel, it's not Farty's fault.

44
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:08,034
Then whose fault is it?

45
00:02:08,068 --> 00:02:10,186
It's not my fault that my pumpkin patch

46
00:02:10,204 --> 00:02:11,354
was canceled. It's not my fault

47
00:02:11,372 --> 00:02:13,323
that some people didn't vote for me because

48
00:02:13,357 --> 00:02:15,158
they're too intimidated by my hotness.

49
00:02:15,192 --> 00:02:16,993
It's not my fault that, because someone

50
00:02:17,027 --> 00:02:19,028
is killing Kappas, I didn't have time

51
00:02:19,046 --> 00:02:22,332
to individually bribe each and
every one of you to vote for me.

52
00:02:22,366 --> 00:02:26,920
No. Clearly there is only one
person to blame for all of this.

53
00:02:26,971 --> 00:02:28,871
Number Five.

54
00:02:28,889 --> 00:02:30,506
Wait, what?

55
00:02:30,540 --> 00:02:33,059
I hate all of you for
letting me down tonight,

56
00:02:33,093 --> 00:02:34,727
but, Number Five, I hate you the most.

57
00:02:34,762 --> 00:02:36,545
I know it's on me that I chose

58
00:02:36,563 --> 00:02:38,514
idiots and weirdos to be my minions,

59
00:02:38,548 --> 00:02:41,734
but you are by far the most
idiotic and the most weird,

60
00:02:41,769 --> 00:02:43,069
and so I blame you more than any of them

61
00:02:43,103 --> 00:02:44,220
for not finding a way

62
00:02:44,238 --> 00:02:46,889
to ensure I retained my presidency tonight.

63
00:02:46,907 --> 00:02:50,093
Chanel, come on, let's talk this through.

64
00:02:50,127 --> 00:02:53,429
No! I am never talking
about anything ever again!

65
00:02:53,463 --> 00:02:55,965
I hate you all!

66
00:03:06,577 --> 00:03:08,528
Hey.

67
00:03:08,579 --> 00:03:10,580
Yeah, super sorry about
what happened down there.

68
00:03:14,651 --> 00:03:16,419
Why are you laughing?

69
00:03:16,453 --> 00:03:18,921
Because, you leg humpers,
I voted for Zayday.

70
00:03:18,956 --> 00:03:20,256
I wanted her to win.

71
00:03:20,290 --> 00:03:22,208
What about that fit you threw down there?

72
00:03:22,259 --> 00:03:23,876
Brilliant performance, I know.

73
00:03:23,927 --> 00:03:25,995
I've had to develop some
serious acting skills

74
00:03:26,013 --> 00:03:28,264
- to have sex with Chad.
- So...

75
00:03:28,298 --> 00:03:30,800
you're not mad at me? Oh, I
meant everything I said about you.

76
00:03:30,834 --> 00:03:33,603
I still think you're useless.
I'm just not sad about it.

77
00:03:33,637 --> 00:03:35,337
You see, I've learned a few things

78
00:03:35,356 --> 00:03:38,274
from watching AandE
documentaries about the Mafia.

79
00:03:38,308 --> 00:03:42,344
The most important being...
Aside from to never trust anyone,

80
00:03:42,363 --> 00:03:44,564
especially those
closest to you...

81
00:03:44,615 --> 00:03:47,233
You never, ever want to be the boss

82
00:03:47,284 --> 00:03:49,018
in a time of extreme crisis.

83
00:03:49,036 --> 00:03:52,238
As soon as you become the boss,
you get a target on your back,

84
00:03:52,289 --> 00:03:55,625
from the Feds, the other
families, ambitious underlings.

85
00:03:55,659 --> 00:03:57,960
Sure, seems like you have all the power,

86
00:03:57,995 --> 00:04:00,129
but you also take on the most risk.

87
00:04:00,164 --> 00:04:02,965
Being president of
Kappa House when there is

88
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,134
a killer hunting down
sisters of Kappa House

89
00:04:05,169 --> 00:04:06,636
means you're the top target.

90
00:04:06,670 --> 00:04:08,037
I was actually hoping one of you

91
00:04:08,055 --> 00:04:09,505
bitches would betray me and vote for her

92
00:04:09,539 --> 00:04:10,923
so she could win the whole thing, but...

93
00:04:10,974 --> 00:04:12,141
this works out even better.

94
00:04:12,176 --> 00:04:13,810
Because when I go down and make peace

95
00:04:13,844 --> 00:04:15,478
with her and her pasty friend,

96
00:04:15,512 --> 00:04:17,880
I'm gonna look like a
skinnier Angelina Jolie.

97
00:04:17,898 --> 00:04:20,382
Wait, so this whole
thing... the pumpkin patch,

98
00:04:20,401 --> 00:04:21,934
the fight against
Black Hairy Tongue...

99
00:04:21,985 --> 00:04:24,937
Was all an elaborate plan to
set up Zayday to be killed?

100
00:04:24,988 --> 00:04:28,324
I like to think of it more as an
elaborate plan to save a life...

101
00:04:28,358 --> 00:04:30,276
Mine.

102
00:04:30,327 --> 00:04:32,612
Oh, don't judge me for
trying to stay alive.

103
00:04:32,663 --> 00:04:35,281
We all know you've been
cozying up to Predatory Lez

104
00:04:35,332 --> 00:04:36,999
because you think she knows karate.

105
00:04:37,034 --> 00:04:38,201
I just like hanging out with her.

106
00:04:38,235 --> 00:04:39,535
She's cool to talk to.

107
00:04:39,569 --> 00:04:42,004
She knows a lot about... stuff.

108
00:04:42,039 --> 00:04:44,573
Are you going lesbian, Number Three?

109
00:04:44,591 --> 00:04:46,575
Because while I get that
Lezzie Pledge is kind of cute

110
00:04:46,593 --> 00:04:49,378
in a "if Bruce Lee were a DJ" kind of way,

111
00:04:49,412 --> 00:04:51,514
I don't think we should
be having sex with pledges.

112
00:04:51,548 --> 00:04:54,300
Now, if you'll follow me,

113
00:04:54,351 --> 00:04:56,302
I would like to implement phase two

114
00:04:56,353 --> 00:04:59,021
of my "Chanel Dies Last" plan.

115
00:05:07,281 --> 00:05:08,698
Whatever she says,

116
00:05:08,732 --> 00:05:10,032
do not give an inch.

117
00:05:10,067 --> 00:05:11,400
You're president now, too.

118
00:05:11,434 --> 00:05:13,069
Zayday,

119
00:05:13,103 --> 00:05:15,404
this is the key to the storage room.

120
00:05:15,438 --> 00:05:17,240
Where we keep our tampon backstock

121
00:05:17,274 --> 00:05:20,209
in case of a nuclear war
and all of our secrets.

122
00:05:20,244 --> 00:05:21,711
It's the most holy room in the house,

123
00:05:21,745 --> 00:05:23,212
and only the president has the key.

124
00:05:23,247 --> 00:05:24,997
I want you to have it.

125
00:05:25,048 --> 00:05:26,382
What's your game here?

126
00:05:26,416 --> 00:05:28,384
I trust you about as
far as I can throw you.

127
00:05:28,418 --> 00:05:30,219
No game.

128
00:05:30,254 --> 00:05:31,387
I may be a stone-cold bitch,

129
00:05:31,421 --> 00:05:32,889
but I love Kappa

130
00:05:32,923 --> 00:05:35,391
and I want it to survive
these challenging times.

131
00:05:35,425 --> 00:05:37,226
So if you think you can do a better job

132
00:05:37,261 --> 00:05:38,961
than I can, then I say

133
00:05:38,979 --> 00:05:40,796
let's give the Zayday
Administration a chance.

134
00:05:40,814 --> 00:05:42,849
Sisters

135
00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:44,851
and anyone else who might be listening,

136
00:05:44,902 --> 00:05:48,771
I present to you the acting
president of Kappa Kappa Tau,

137
00:05:48,805 --> 00:05:51,240
Zayday... something!

138
00:05:51,275 --> 00:05:53,326
Williams. But that'll do.

139
00:05:56,665 --> 00:05:59,609
Sync and corrections by wilson0804
<font color="

140
00:06:01,418 --> 00:06:02,702
<i>Excuse me, Madam President,</i>

141
00:06:02,753 --> 00:06:05,037
the Speaker of the House is on line one.

142
00:06:05,088 --> 00:06:07,990
Take a message.

143
00:06:08,008 --> 00:06:10,259
Z! Oh, come here.

144
00:06:10,294 --> 00:06:12,762
I'm so proud of you. This
is so exciting. I mean,

145
00:06:12,796 --> 00:06:15,548
Kappa is really gonna change,
and it all starts with you.

146
00:06:15,599 --> 00:06:17,099
Well, the biggest change
I'd like to implement

147
00:06:17,134 --> 00:06:19,135
is for everyone to stop getting
murdered by a serial killer.

148
00:06:19,169 --> 00:06:20,803
That's what we need to talk about.

149
00:06:20,837 --> 00:06:22,438
I know we don't know who the killer is,

150
00:06:22,472 --> 00:06:24,056
but we know it traces back to this house.

151
00:06:24,107 --> 00:06:26,943
If the Red Devil is killing
Kappas, that means some of them

152
00:06:26,977 --> 00:06:28,444
have to know something.

153
00:06:28,478 --> 00:06:31,397
We just need to find out what.

154
00:06:31,448 --> 00:06:33,399
A slumber party.

155
00:06:33,450 --> 00:06:34,784
What?

156
00:06:34,818 --> 00:06:37,737
There are two things that
always happen at a slumber party:

157
00:06:37,788 --> 00:06:39,121
someone experiments with lesbianism

158
00:06:39,156 --> 00:06:40,689
and secrets are revealed.

159
00:06:40,707 --> 00:06:42,241
Oh, my God. That is brilliant.

160
00:06:42,292 --> 00:06:44,126
We can create situations and scenarios

161
00:06:44,161 --> 00:06:45,628
to really prime the pump.

162
00:06:45,662 --> 00:06:47,413
Like a big game of Truth or Dare.

163
00:06:47,464 --> 00:06:49,298
That'll be my first act as president.

164
00:06:49,333 --> 00:06:51,300
We'll lock everybody up overnight,

165
00:06:51,335 --> 00:06:54,303
and we're bound to find out something.

166
00:06:54,338 --> 00:06:56,088
Can I have y'all's attention?

167
00:06:56,139 --> 00:06:59,675
Kappa House is having a slumber party!

168
00:06:59,709 --> 00:07:01,877
What? Ew. Gross. No.

169
00:07:01,895 --> 00:07:03,712
Yes. It's gonna be great.

170
00:07:03,730 --> 00:07:04,981
Look, we're gonna lock ourselves in,

171
00:07:05,015 --> 00:07:06,382
play some games,

172
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:07,850
get cozy... What are you talking about?!

173
00:07:07,884 --> 00:07:08,935
No, we are not ten!

174
00:07:08,986 --> 00:07:10,269
Shut up, Chanel.

175
00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:11,604
It's a great idea.

176
00:07:11,655 --> 00:07:12,989
A slumber party sounds fun.

177
00:07:13,023 --> 00:07:15,324
Let's play Spin the Bottle.

178
00:07:15,359 --> 00:07:15,992
What?

179
00:07:16,026 --> 00:07:17,109
You heard me. I want

180
00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:19,495
to play Spin the Bottle. We're doing it.

181
00:07:19,529 --> 00:07:20,329
What'd I tell you?

182
00:07:20,364 --> 00:07:22,064
Someone always goes lesbian.

183
00:07:22,082 --> 00:07:24,834
Uh, yeah, well, Spin the
Bottle sounds great, I guess,

184
00:07:24,868 --> 00:07:27,336
but don't you think a
rousing game of Truth or Dare

185
00:07:27,371 --> 00:07:28,337
would be way more fun

186
00:07:28,372 --> 00:07:29,622
to play first?

187
00:07:29,673 --> 00:07:30,706
- No.
- No?

188
00:07:30,740 --> 00:07:33,042
We're having a slumber party,

189
00:07:33,076 --> 00:07:34,794
and before we do anything else,

190
00:07:34,845 --> 00:07:37,129
we're playing Spin the damn Bottle.

191
00:07:37,180 --> 00:07:38,297
Let's vote.

192
00:07:38,348 --> 00:07:40,433
All those in favor of a slumber party.

193
00:07:45,889 --> 00:07:48,257
There. It's decided.

194
00:07:48,275 --> 00:07:50,476
We're having a slumber party, okay?

195
00:07:50,527 --> 00:07:53,863
Everyone get in your PJs, and
be down here at 5:00, okay?

196
00:07:53,897 --> 00:07:55,931
Why Spin the Bottle?

197
00:07:55,949 --> 00:07:58,100
There aren't any Dickies here!

198
00:07:58,118 --> 00:08:01,153
<i>Caulfield! Caulfield! Caulfield!</i>

199
00:08:01,204 --> 00:08:03,873
Caulfield, you suck
it, bro! You suck it so hard!

200
00:08:03,907 --> 00:08:06,876
Suck it! Suck it! Come
on, baby! Come on, baby!

201
00:08:06,910 --> 00:08:09,245
Don't stop now. Don't st...

202
00:08:09,279 --> 00:08:10,379
45 seconds.

203
00:08:11,798 --> 00:08:14,216
Brother Caulfield,

204
00:08:14,251 --> 00:08:18,387
you just chugged four liters
of canned pasta in 45 seconds.

205
00:08:18,422 --> 00:08:21,223
So if anybody ever tells
you that just because you got

206
00:08:21,258 --> 00:08:23,059
your arms chopped off by a serial killer

207
00:08:23,093 --> 00:08:25,061
that somehow you're handicapped,

208
00:08:25,095 --> 00:08:26,929
you have 'em give me a call.

209
00:08:26,963 --> 00:08:29,465
And I'm gonna tell 'em this story.

210
00:08:29,483 --> 00:08:31,934
Chad.

211
00:08:34,321 --> 00:08:36,906
The Dollar Scholars need to have
a little talk with you, mate.

212
00:08:36,940 --> 00:08:38,074
Listen,

213
00:08:38,108 --> 00:08:40,443
this is an intervention.

214
00:08:40,477 --> 00:08:43,612
Mate, there's a nasty rumor going around

215
00:08:43,646 --> 00:08:46,749
saying you're having sex
with... with the dean.

216
00:08:46,783 --> 00:08:47,867
That is not a nasty rumor.

217
00:08:47,918 --> 00:08:49,752
That is a true rumor.

218
00:08:49,786 --> 00:08:51,704
I am totally porkin' Dean Munsch.

219
00:08:51,755 --> 00:08:52,922
Chick is smokin'.

220
00:08:52,956 --> 00:08:54,290
There's also another rumor saying

221
00:08:54,324 --> 00:08:56,425
that you slept with one
of the security guards.

222
00:08:56,460 --> 00:08:59,712
Denise Hemphill. Um, yeah.

223
00:08:59,763 --> 00:09:01,497
I mean, she
is fun. I'm not kidding.

224
00:09:01,515 --> 00:09:03,265
I mean, that girl knows what she's doing.

225
00:09:03,300 --> 00:09:04,433
But what about Chanel?

226
00:09:04,468 --> 00:09:06,435
No, Chanel's good, too. I mean, she's...

227
00:09:06,470 --> 00:09:08,771
When you have sex with Chanel,
there's just, like, so much,

228
00:09:08,805 --> 00:09:11,140
like... crying.

229
00:09:11,174 --> 00:09:13,225
Look, Chad, we've talked
about this as a house,

230
00:09:13,276 --> 00:09:15,478
and we all agree it's super weird

231
00:09:15,512 --> 00:09:17,229
that you sleep with so many old people.

232
00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:19,198
Hmm.

233
00:09:24,154 --> 00:09:26,455
Oh. Wow.

234
00:09:26,490 --> 00:09:30,192
You guys have really given
me something to think about.

235
00:09:30,210 --> 00:09:32,495
While I've always believed
one of the most fun parts

236
00:09:32,529 --> 00:09:34,663
of college life is
sleeping with the faculty,

237
00:09:34,697 --> 00:09:38,801
I now realize that concentrating
on porking popular girls,

238
00:09:38,835 --> 00:09:40,469
it's in all of our best interests.

239
00:09:40,504 --> 00:09:42,588
Therefore, I hereby pledge

240
00:09:42,639 --> 00:09:45,925
I'm gonna concentrate on
my relationship with Chanel,

241
00:09:45,976 --> 00:09:48,260
'cause she's freakin' hot as hell

242
00:09:48,311 --> 00:09:50,096
and her dad was a bundler for Mitt Romney.

243
00:09:50,147 --> 00:09:51,313
Well, you know,

244
00:09:51,348 --> 00:09:52,815
a little birdie told me

245
00:09:52,849 --> 00:09:54,650
Kappa House are having
a slumber party tonight.

246
00:09:54,684 --> 00:09:56,602
So I propose a panty raid.

247
00:09:56,653 --> 00:09:58,654
All those in favor?

248
00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:01,741
Panty raid!

249
00:10:07,030 --> 00:10:08,998
Nope!

250
00:10:09,032 --> 00:10:11,333
Not doing this. I don't
understand why we're playing

251
00:10:11,368 --> 00:10:13,669
Spin the Bottle. There are
exactly zero wangers here.

252
00:10:13,703 --> 00:10:16,172
Chanel, I will act as proxy
and kiss Candle Vlogger

253
00:10:16,206 --> 00:10:18,707
so that you don't have to.

254
00:10:20,710 --> 00:10:22,211
You taste like wax.

255
00:10:22,245 --> 00:10:24,013
You taste good, too.

256
00:10:24,047 --> 00:10:26,048
My turn. It's my turn.

257
00:10:27,851 --> 00:10:29,685
There. I just spun it.

258
00:10:29,719 --> 00:10:33,088
<i>Dear God, if you really exist,
please show me by letting it</i>

259
00:10:33,106 --> 00:10:35,307
<i>land on Predatory Lez
so I can explore these</i>

260
00:10:35,358 --> 00:10:37,693
<i>confusing, conflicting feelings
I've been having lately.</i>

261
00:10:39,396 --> 00:10:42,031
Re-spin. New rule:
you can re-spin.

262
00:10:46,069 --> 00:10:48,937
Oh. Sam. I guess we have to kiss.

263
00:10:53,577 --> 00:10:54,994
You're a great kisser.

264
00:10:55,045 --> 00:10:57,046
Thanks. I guess you're okay.

265
00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:58,998
I'll say it again.

266
00:10:59,049 --> 00:11:01,250
I don't know why we're doing this.

267
00:11:05,889 --> 00:11:07,122
Hey.

268
00:11:08,308 --> 00:11:09,508
Was I interrupting you?

269
00:11:09,559 --> 00:11:10,726
No, it's cool. I was just

270
00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:11,960
practicing looking disinterested.

271
00:11:11,978 --> 00:11:14,230
Do you do that, too?
Because when I was a kid,

272
00:11:14,264 --> 00:11:17,132
no one liked me 'cause my dad
was so rich, so I started acting

273
00:11:17,150 --> 00:11:19,101
like I didn't care. But then I realized

274
00:11:19,135 --> 00:11:20,969
I really wasn't pretending
and I actually didn't care.

275
00:11:20,987 --> 00:11:23,439
I'm pretty sure I was born
without that part of the brain

276
00:11:23,473 --> 00:11:24,740
that actually feels stuff.

277
00:11:24,774 --> 00:11:26,525
We have so much in common.

278
00:11:26,576 --> 00:11:27,943
I'm starting to think we have something

279
00:11:27,977 --> 00:11:29,778
very important and specific in common.

280
00:11:29,812 --> 00:11:32,248
My sex life up until this point
is what you'd call unusual.

281
00:11:32,282 --> 00:11:33,582
When I turned 18,

282
00:11:33,617 --> 00:11:35,251
I started dating one of my dad's friends.

283
00:11:35,285 --> 00:11:36,619
He committed suicide
by running himself over

284
00:11:36,653 --> 00:11:38,087
with a golf cart at the club.

285
00:11:38,121 --> 00:11:40,039
The guy I dated here last year

286
00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:42,708
got so obsessed with my
ears he had to leave school.

287
00:11:42,759 --> 00:11:44,927
Now he writes me letters
threatening to cut them off

288
00:11:44,961 --> 00:11:46,262
if he ever sees them again.

289
00:11:46,296 --> 00:11:48,330
Which is why I always wear my ear muffs.

290
00:11:48,348 --> 00:11:51,333
I understand. I think the only
way to be sure of your feelings

291
00:11:51,351 --> 00:11:54,053
is if you let me gently
rub your uterus right now.

292
00:11:54,104 --> 00:11:55,938
No. You don't understand.

293
00:11:55,972 --> 00:11:57,940
I'm Charles Manson's daughter.

294
00:11:57,974 --> 00:12:00,142
His charisma and madness is in my blood.

295
00:12:00,176 --> 00:12:03,562
When I love someone, it drives them insane.

296
00:12:03,613 --> 00:12:05,731
No. I can't.

297
00:12:05,782 --> 00:12:07,683
We can be alibilibidibuddies
and do our best

298
00:12:07,701 --> 00:12:10,018
to protect each other, but
our vaginas may never touch.

299
00:12:10,036 --> 00:12:11,320
It's too dangerous.

300
00:12:15,492 --> 00:12:17,459
Believe me when I say

301
00:12:17,494 --> 00:12:19,695
that if it was possible
for me to feel anything

302
00:12:19,713 --> 00:12:21,714
I would totally be crying right now.

303
00:12:32,726 --> 00:12:34,176
What are you guys doing?

304
00:12:34,210 --> 00:12:36,312
Well, hello, Madam President.

305
00:12:36,346 --> 00:12:38,147
Making chocolate
covered peanuts

306
00:12:38,181 --> 00:12:40,015
for Chanel's special s'mores.

307
00:12:40,049 --> 00:12:41,817
But those are packing peanuts.

308
00:12:41,851 --> 00:12:43,986
That doesn't seem healthy.

309
00:12:44,020 --> 00:12:46,655
Uh, yeah. Cuts the calorie
content in, like, half.

310
00:12:47,574 --> 00:12:48,607
Why are you two back

311
00:12:48,658 --> 00:12:49,725
without any ice?

312
00:12:49,743 --> 00:12:50,993
We have a problem.

313
00:12:51,027 --> 00:12:52,494
All the doors are locked solid.

314
00:12:52,529 --> 00:12:54,496
Windows, too. Upstairs and down.

315
00:13:07,711 --> 00:13:09,178
They're right. We're trapped.

316
00:13:09,212 --> 00:13:11,213
Wait, you guys, I think
I know what this is.

317
00:13:11,247 --> 00:13:12,631
It's probably my dad.

318
00:13:12,682 --> 00:13:14,249
He's been getting on me to stay inside

319
00:13:14,267 --> 00:13:15,751
where it's safe, and I'm pretty sure

320
00:13:15,769 --> 00:13:17,219
he did this because I wouldn't listen.

321
00:13:17,253 --> 00:13:18,470
He sounds like an awful parent.

322
00:13:18,521 --> 00:13:20,022
He's overprotective,

323
00:13:20,056 --> 00:13:21,857
but I'm telling you there
is nothing to worry about.

324
00:13:21,891 --> 00:13:24,526
Of course it's something to
worry about. It's not your dad

325
00:13:24,561 --> 00:13:26,979
<i>and his 1986 Miami Vice
five o'clock shadow.</i>

326
00:13:27,030 --> 00:13:28,697
It was the killer.

327
00:13:28,732 --> 00:13:30,649
But, guys, how did he lock
every window and every door

328
00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:32,201
without us noticing?

329
00:13:32,235 --> 00:13:33,569
He must have hacked into the fail-safe

330
00:13:33,603 --> 00:13:34,620
security system I had installed.

331
00:13:37,073 --> 00:13:39,708
One recent stormy night, Chad and I

332
00:13:39,743 --> 00:13:41,610
<i>watched Panic Room on
Netflix, and Chad was like,</i>

333
00:13:41,628 --> 00:13:42,878
"You totally need one of those."

334
00:13:42,912 --> 00:13:45,164
But Jodie Foster's was small and gross,

335
00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:47,082
so I decided to have the whole
house turned into a panic room.

336
00:13:47,116 --> 00:13:49,385
But wait, doesn't that mean
that there's some sort of switch

337
00:13:49,419 --> 00:13:51,754
somewhere to deactivate
it? Yes, theoretically,

338
00:13:51,788 --> 00:13:54,056
but the guy said the kill
switch was on back order

339
00:13:54,090 --> 00:13:55,624
and he'd have to install
it in a couple of weeks.

340
00:13:55,642 --> 00:13:56,958
Guys, I am freaking out!

341
00:13:56,977 --> 00:13:59,011
I hate being trapped in small places.

342
00:13:59,062 --> 00:14:01,680
Okay, this house is literally,
like, 15,000 square feet.

343
00:14:01,731 --> 00:14:03,399
There's only one reason why the killer

344
00:14:03,433 --> 00:14:05,100
would do something
like this...

345
00:14:05,134 --> 00:14:06,935
To pick us off one by one.

346
00:14:06,969 --> 00:14:08,303
That's what I would do.

347
00:14:09,823 --> 00:14:12,241
Guess it's just a matter
of time before one of us

348
00:14:12,275 --> 00:14:15,277
or all of us ends up dead.

349
00:14:23,492 --> 00:14:25,025
You're go for Chad Radwell.

350
00:14:25,076 --> 00:14:26,577
Chad, it's me, Chanel.

351
00:14:26,611 --> 00:14:29,079
Well, well, well. Isn't this a coincidence.

352
00:14:29,114 --> 00:14:31,949
I was headed over to Kappa House
to steal some of your panties.

353
00:14:31,983 --> 00:14:33,984
Oh, Chad, that's amazing.
I love you so much.

354
00:14:34,002 --> 00:14:35,252
But, Chad, listen.

355
00:14:35,287 --> 00:14:36,954
You have to help us.

356
00:14:36,988 --> 00:14:38,589
We're trapped in the house
and the power went out

357
00:14:38,623 --> 00:14:40,124
and my phone is the only one that's working

358
00:14:40,158 --> 00:14:41,658
because I'm pretty sure the killer

359
00:14:41,676 --> 00:14:43,544
knocked down a cell tower or something.

360
00:14:43,595 --> 00:14:45,045
Wait, well, why does yours work, then?

361
00:14:45,096 --> 00:14:46,430
Because mine's a satellite phone.

362
00:14:46,465 --> 00:14:48,766
Elon Musk gave it to me. It's
designed for space travel.

363
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,384
My dad is super gross rich, Chad.

364
00:14:50,435 --> 00:14:52,603
I know. That's my favorite
thing about you, baby.

365
00:14:52,637 --> 00:14:55,272
Look, Chanel, before I come
and save you and whatnot,

366
00:14:55,307 --> 00:14:57,274
I got to get some things off my chest.

367
00:14:57,309 --> 00:14:59,977
- A, I had sex with the dean.
- What?

368
00:15:00,011 --> 00:15:01,946
Look, I'm prepared to
say I'm sorry I did that.

369
00:15:01,980 --> 00:15:04,315
What I'm not prepared to
do is say the sex was bad.

370
00:15:04,349 --> 00:15:05,682
Because it was not.

371
00:15:05,700 --> 00:15:07,518
Oh, also, I hooked up with
the, uh, security guard.

372
00:15:07,536 --> 00:15:09,353
- Officer Hemphill?
- Yeah.

373
00:15:09,371 --> 00:15:11,121
Yeah. I'm not gonna apologize for that one.

374
00:15:11,156 --> 00:15:12,456
Chad, I'm about to get murdered,

375
00:15:12,491 --> 00:15:14,124
so can you please just
hang up and get over here?

376
00:15:14,159 --> 00:15:15,960
Chad Radwell is on the way.

377
00:15:15,994 --> 00:15:17,995
I love you, Chad.

378
00:15:19,548 --> 00:15:21,966
Hello?

379
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,752
I... love you, too, sort of.

380
00:15:28,507 --> 00:15:31,008
How on earth are we supposed to get in

381
00:15:31,042 --> 00:15:32,977
if all the doors and windows are locked?

382
00:15:33,011 --> 00:15:36,514
Dude, we climb up the ladder,
break the windows upstairs,

383
00:15:36,548 --> 00:15:39,149
save all the girls, climb back down,

384
00:15:39,184 --> 00:15:41,185
then it's Vagina City for all of us.

385
00:15:41,219 --> 00:15:43,153
I thought you said Chanel had
all the windows bomb-proofed

386
00:15:43,188 --> 00:15:44,822
so that we can't break them.

387
00:15:44,856 --> 00:15:47,491
Yeah... downstairs windows, dude.

388
00:15:47,526 --> 00:15:49,326
Why would you bomb-proof upstairs windows?

389
00:15:49,361 --> 00:15:50,611
For what, like, a flying bomb?

390
00:15:50,662 --> 00:15:53,330
A flying bomb would be a missile, Chad.

391
00:15:53,365 --> 00:15:55,499
Honestly, where's the Red
Devil gonna get a missile?

392
00:15:55,534 --> 00:15:58,619
Don't be an idiot. Hold
this. It's hero time.

393
00:16:00,338 --> 00:16:01,672
Ah, here we go.

394
00:16:04,576 --> 00:16:07,511
Oh, Chad, you've come for me.

395
00:16:07,546 --> 00:16:09,179
Save me and I'm yours forever.

396
00:16:09,214 --> 00:16:11,882
Uh...

397
00:16:11,916 --> 00:16:14,018
I'm not really sure I'm ready
for that level of commitment.

398
00:16:14,052 --> 00:16:16,520
Chad, please, I'm trapped
in the house with a killer.

399
00:16:16,555 --> 00:16:17,521
Break the glass!

400
00:16:17,556 --> 00:16:19,974
Not until you take back what you said.

401
00:16:20,025 --> 00:16:22,309
Fine, just save me, Chad.

402
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:23,360
And?

403
00:16:24,396 --> 00:16:26,196
And I'm yours for an amount of time

404
00:16:26,231 --> 00:16:27,648
you feel is appropriate.

405
00:16:27,699 --> 00:16:29,033
Stand back, fair maiden.

406
00:16:29,067 --> 00:16:31,569
Chad's about to be a hero.

407
00:16:36,941 --> 00:16:39,376
Oh, Chad!

408
00:16:39,411 --> 00:16:42,246
Oh...

409
00:16:43,548 --> 00:16:44,832
Whoa, Red Devil!

410
00:16:44,883 --> 00:16:47,284
Get up here now! Go, go, go, go, go. Climb.

411
00:16:47,302 --> 00:16:49,053
Red Devil, coming in hot!

412
00:16:49,087 --> 00:16:50,220
He's moving.

413
00:16:50,255 --> 00:16:51,505
Oh, he's moving, he's moving.

414
00:16:51,556 --> 00:16:53,057
Hurry. Caulfield, you climb.

415
00:16:53,091 --> 00:16:55,509
You climb, you armless bastard!

416
00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:57,227
I'm gonna make
it. I'm gonna make it.

417
00:16:57,262 --> 00:17:00,014
Chad, no, that's the only phone we have!

418
00:17:00,065 --> 00:17:02,600
Tonight is not the night
Caulfield Mount Herman dies!

419
00:17:03,435 --> 00:17:05,019
Come on!

420
00:17:08,607 --> 00:17:10,074
What do we do now?

421
00:17:10,108 --> 00:17:11,692
The only thing we can do:

422
00:17:11,743 --> 00:17:14,244
give him the dignity of watching him die.

423
00:17:20,502 --> 00:17:22,753
Okay, okay,

424
00:17:22,787 --> 00:17:23,954
okay, he's good, he's good.

425
00:17:26,124 --> 00:17:28,042
Oh! God.

426
00:17:30,095 --> 00:17:31,428
No, no, not the head.

427
00:17:31,463 --> 00:17:32,596
Oh, he's going for the...

428
00:17:34,466 --> 00:17:37,051
<i>Well, that answers that.</i>

429
00:17:37,102 --> 00:17:38,969
Someone in this house definitely
knows who the killer is.

430
00:17:39,003 --> 00:17:41,221
I hear you loud and clear,
girl. It's Truth or Dare time.

431
00:17:41,272 --> 00:17:43,307
Wait, Zayday, stop.

432
00:17:43,341 --> 00:17:44,942
Wh-What are we doing?

433
00:17:44,976 --> 00:17:46,560
Whatever it takes to stop
the douche that's trying

434
00:17:46,611 --> 00:17:48,445
to kill everybody. No, I
mean, like, what are we doing?

435
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:50,731
I mean, do you ever just stop

436
00:17:50,782 --> 00:17:53,617
and ask yourself if we
can actually pull this off?

437
00:17:53,652 --> 00:17:54,902
Maybe...

438
00:17:54,953 --> 00:17:57,121
maybe we all just need to get out of here.

439
00:17:57,155 --> 00:17:59,356
Leave school. The best way

440
00:17:59,374 --> 00:18:01,875
to avoid a shark attack
is to not go in the water.

441
00:18:03,712 --> 00:18:05,913
We all have a crisis of faith sometimes.

442
00:18:05,964 --> 00:18:08,865
But no one is gonna tell a sisterhood

443
00:18:08,883 --> 00:18:11,201
with Zayday Williams as the president

444
00:18:11,219 --> 00:18:12,670
when they can and can't go swimming.

445
00:18:12,704 --> 00:18:14,638
So pull it together

446
00:18:14,673 --> 00:18:17,007
and let's go play this
game of Truth or Dare.

447
00:18:17,041 --> 00:18:18,976
'Cause ain't nothing and no one

448
00:18:19,010 --> 00:18:20,761
stopping the hot tsunami of truth

449
00:18:20,812 --> 00:18:22,429
rolling into this house tonight.

450
00:18:27,786 --> 00:18:30,037
All right, you guys.
It's time to play a game

451
00:18:30,088 --> 00:18:33,040
- of Truth or Dare.
- Just saying,

452
00:18:33,091 --> 00:18:34,959
now would be the time
to play Spin the Bottle.

453
00:18:34,993 --> 00:18:36,210
We finally have some Dickies here.

454
00:18:36,261 --> 00:18:37,261
Someone in this house

455
00:18:37,296 --> 00:18:38,329
knows something about the murderer

456
00:18:38,347 --> 00:18:39,430
that they're not telling us,

457
00:18:39,465 --> 00:18:41,382
and I intend to find out what.

458
00:18:41,433 --> 00:18:43,384
Okay, here's how the game works.

459
00:18:43,435 --> 00:18:46,721
When it's your turn, you have
a choice of Truth or Dare.

460
00:18:46,772 --> 00:18:50,475
If you choose truth, you
have to tell the truth.

461
00:18:50,509 --> 00:18:52,560
And if you choose dare...

462
00:18:52,611 --> 00:18:55,947
I don't know. Maybe
you're hiding something.

463
00:18:55,981 --> 00:18:59,116
Ooh! Yes.

464
00:18:59,151 --> 00:19:00,785
But wouldn't you just lie?

465
00:19:00,819 --> 00:19:02,286
I mean, if I were the killer,

466
00:19:02,321 --> 00:19:04,622
I'd pick truth and then just lie.

467
00:19:06,625 --> 00:19:09,126
Uh, well, the-the game's not
Truth or Dare or Lie.

468
00:19:09,161 --> 00:19:11,028
Just Truth or Dare.

469
00:19:11,046 --> 00:19:12,914
If you want to lie, you can just pick dare.

470
00:19:12,965 --> 00:19:16,167
No, you'd pick truth and then you'd lie.

471
00:19:16,201 --> 00:19:19,637
Uh, no, you
can't lie. That's the...

472
00:19:19,671 --> 00:19:22,173
that's the whole point of
Truth or Dare. You can't lie.

473
00:19:22,207 --> 00:19:25,309
But... I'm sorry, the
game's pretty damn simple!

474
00:19:25,344 --> 00:19:29,013
Okay? It's Truth or Dare,
all right? If you pick

475
00:19:29,047 --> 00:19:31,983
truth, you have to tell the
truth. If you pick dare...

476
00:19:32,017 --> 00:19:33,935
it's gonna be really
suspicious, and I'm gonna think

477
00:19:33,986 --> 00:19:36,270
you had something to do
with my sweet bro Boone dying

478
00:19:36,321 --> 00:19:37,488
and my rad bro Caulfield

479
00:19:37,523 --> 00:19:38,889
getting his arms...

480
00:19:38,907 --> 00:19:40,324
and then his head chopped off!

481
00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:43,394
And Dodger. Will you stop
whining about Dodger?!

482
00:19:43,412 --> 00:19:45,062
Everybody agrees that
dude was holding you back.

483
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:46,397
Nobody misses him.

484
00:19:46,415 --> 00:19:47,949
Now let's play some Truth or Dare

485
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,334
and find out who the killer is.

486
00:19:53,539 --> 00:19:56,173
Number Five, truth or dare?

487
00:19:56,208 --> 00:19:57,842
Truth.

488
00:19:57,876 --> 00:19:59,377
Okay. Number Five,

489
00:19:59,411 --> 00:20:01,546
does your vagina have teeth?

490
00:20:05,517 --> 00:20:07,468
That's insane.

491
00:20:07,519 --> 00:20:09,136
No, it doesn't, Chanel.

492
00:20:09,187 --> 00:20:10,471
I thought she wasn't allowed to lie.

493
00:20:10,522 --> 00:20:12,139
I'm not lying.

494
00:20:12,190 --> 00:20:13,257
My vagina doesn't have teeth.

495
00:20:13,275 --> 00:20:14,525
Can I rephrase the question?

496
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:15,526
Does your vagina

497
00:20:15,561 --> 00:20:17,194
<i>still have teeth?</i>

498
00:20:17,229 --> 00:20:19,313
No! The answer is no! "No,
it no longer has teeth,

499
00:20:19,364 --> 00:20:21,482
so it used to have teeth,
but you got them removed"?

500
00:20:21,533 --> 00:20:23,701
No, I didn't. So your
vagina still has teeth.

501
00:20:23,735 --> 00:20:25,036
Which one is it, Number Five?

502
00:20:25,070 --> 00:20:27,438
Sounds like you're
trapped in a web of lies.

503
00:20:27,456 --> 00:20:30,107
You're forfeiting your turn, bitch.

504
00:20:31,443 --> 00:20:34,912
Um... okay, I guess it's my turn, then.

505
00:20:36,448 --> 00:20:38,549
Sam.

506
00:20:38,584 --> 00:20:41,552
Truth... or dare?

507
00:20:41,587 --> 00:20:43,721
Truth.

508
00:20:43,755 --> 00:20:47,391
What is Chanel
deepest, darkest secret?

509
00:20:47,426 --> 00:20:48,843
<i>Oh, my God.</i>

510
00:20:48,894 --> 00:20:50,561
<i>She knows I have weird feelings for her.</i>

511
00:20:50,596 --> 00:20:52,563
<i>She's gonna tell everyone.
I have to just blurt it out.</i>

512
00:20:52,598 --> 00:20:55,132
Her deepest, darkest secret is...

513
00:20:55,150 --> 00:20:57,735
Her father is Charles Manson. I
have weird, sexy feelings for Sam.

514
00:20:57,769 --> 00:20:59,403
What?

515
00:20:59,438 --> 00:21:01,238
Hold on.

516
00:21:01,273 --> 00:21:02,740
What did you just say?

517
00:21:02,774 --> 00:21:06,494
I have weird sexy feelings for Sam.

518
00:21:07,479 --> 00:21:08,913
<i>Wh-What did you just say?</i>

519
00:21:08,947 --> 00:21:10,915
Her father is Charles Manson.

520
00:21:10,949 --> 00:21:14,085
Okay, can I just say, Number
Three is definitely the killer.

521
00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:15,419
No, I'm not!

522
00:21:15,454 --> 00:21:16,954
You promised you wouldn't tell.

523
00:21:16,988 --> 00:21:18,422
Sorry. I had to tell the truth.

524
00:21:18,457 --> 00:21:19,624
Of course you're the killer.

525
00:21:19,658 --> 00:21:20,958
I mean, your dad's Charles Manson, dude.

526
00:21:20,992 --> 00:21:22,593
If you're not the killer,
you should probably...

527
00:21:22,628 --> 00:21:23,761
you know, give it a shot.

528
00:21:23,795 --> 00:21:25,262
I think you'd be pretty good at it.

529
00:21:25,297 --> 00:21:26,964
Thanks.

530
00:21:26,998 --> 00:21:28,999
My turn.

531
00:21:29,017 --> 00:21:31,268
Sam, truth or dare.

532
00:21:31,303 --> 00:21:33,304
I just went. Truth or dare?!

533
00:21:33,338 --> 00:21:34,939
Dare. I dare you

534
00:21:34,973 --> 00:21:37,608
to go down to the creepy
Kappa House basement

535
00:21:37,643 --> 00:21:40,061
where we keep all our
deepest, darkest secrets,

536
00:21:40,112 --> 00:21:42,480
and take a little nap in the bathtub.

537
00:21:44,533 --> 00:21:45,950
Fine.

538
00:21:45,984 --> 00:21:47,652
Oh!

539
00:21:47,686 --> 00:21:49,787
Yes! Bathtub naps. This is getting good.

540
00:21:49,821 --> 00:21:52,573
Okay, guys, I propose
we take a little break,

541
00:21:52,624 --> 00:21:53,791
you know,

542
00:21:53,825 --> 00:21:55,459
take a whiz, get a refill.

543
00:21:55,494 --> 00:21:57,461
Bro, grab my phone.

544
00:21:57,496 --> 00:21:59,630
There's a little playlist I
put together called "Douche."

545
00:21:59,665 --> 00:22:01,916
I want you to call that up
on the Bluetooth speakers

546
00:22:01,967 --> 00:22:03,334
so we can get our dance on.

547
00:22:03,368 --> 00:22:05,336
Truth or dare!

548
00:22:05,370 --> 00:22:07,171
♪ I get knocked down, but I get... ♪

549
00:22:08,707 --> 00:22:10,541
Look, I'm really sorry.

550
00:22:10,559 --> 00:22:14,311
<i>You know what? I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I ever trusted you.</i>

551
00:22:14,346 --> 00:22:16,347
But I wanted to talk about
the other thing you said,

552
00:22:16,381 --> 00:22:18,048
about how you thought
you had feelings for me.

553
00:22:18,066 --> 00:22:19,600
The only feelings I have for you now

554
00:22:19,651 --> 00:22:21,435
are rage and pissed-offedness.

555
00:22:21,486 --> 00:22:23,821
Now go sit in that bathtub and
think about what you've done

556
00:22:23,855 --> 00:22:25,889
and try not to rub one out, okay?

557
00:22:28,393 --> 00:22:31,028
Come on! I said I was sorry!

558
00:22:54,186 --> 00:22:56,187
♪ ♪

559
00:23:39,598 --> 00:23:42,566
Hello?

560
00:23:42,601 --> 00:23:45,302
If anybody's down here,
please don't jump out at me.

561
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:48,355
I have a thing about that.

562
00:23:48,406 --> 00:23:51,141
♪ I get knocked down,
but I get up again ♪

563
00:23:51,159 --> 00:23:53,277
♪ You are never gonna keep me down ♪

564
00:23:53,311 --> 00:23:56,113
♪ I get knocked down,
but I get up again... ♪

565
00:24:12,764 --> 00:24:14,765
Is that blood?

566
00:24:26,478 --> 00:24:28,445
Wait. If you're gonna kill me,

567
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:30,514
at least show me who you are first.

568
00:24:33,518 --> 00:24:35,686
I knew it. I knew it was you.

569
00:24:38,707 --> 00:24:41,625
Please. You don't have to do this.

570
00:24:41,660 --> 00:24:43,627
I could help you.

571
00:24:51,310 --> 00:24:52,927
Hi, Chad.

572
00:24:52,961 --> 00:24:54,295
The killer took all the food

573
00:24:54,313 --> 00:24:56,397
out of all the cabinets and left us nothing

574
00:24:56,432 --> 00:24:57,899
but watermelon lime coolers in the fridge.

575
00:24:59,235 --> 00:25:01,069
He's trying to starve us to death.

576
00:25:01,103 --> 00:25:03,188
There's never any food
in there. Just laxatives.

577
00:25:03,239 --> 00:25:05,240
Chanel's orders. Chad,

578
00:25:05,274 --> 00:25:07,442
after our erotic bonding
session in the cemetery

579
00:25:07,476 --> 00:25:10,078
and our coitus interruptus
in the haunted house,

580
00:25:10,112 --> 00:25:12,580
I got the impression that
you and I are on the verge

581
00:25:12,615 --> 00:25:14,782
of being the next "it" couple.

582
00:25:14,833 --> 00:25:17,035
Yeah.

583
00:25:17,086 --> 00:25:19,287
I just don't know what
would make you think that.

584
00:25:19,321 --> 00:25:21,256
You texted me saying, "We are on the verge

585
00:25:21,290 --> 00:25:23,208
of being the next 'it'
couple, Hester. Love, Chad."

586
00:25:23,259 --> 00:25:25,260
See, this is the problem
with texting, you know?

587
00:25:25,294 --> 00:25:27,428
You can't hear the context.

588
00:25:27,463 --> 00:25:29,597
You've been spending a lot
of time with Chanel tonight.

589
00:25:29,632 --> 00:25:32,934
Even though I decided to not wear a bra,

590
00:25:32,968 --> 00:25:36,604
you haven't been staring
at my shirt raisins once.

591
00:25:36,639 --> 00:25:38,940
Okay, look, I was waiting
to talk to you about this

592
00:25:38,974 --> 00:25:40,775
'cause secretly I was
hoping you'd be killed

593
00:25:40,809 --> 00:25:42,510
and I wouldn't have to hurt your feelings.

594
00:25:42,528 --> 00:25:44,646
I just don't think it
would work out with us.

595
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:47,348
You're nuts, and not like
a typical crazy-eyes co-ed,

596
00:25:47,366 --> 00:25:49,317
but wake-up-with-my
penis-in-a-jar lunatic.

597
00:25:49,351 --> 00:25:51,185
Now, that puts me in a tough spot

598
00:25:51,203 --> 00:25:53,621
because that also means
you'd be the screw of my life.

599
00:25:53,656 --> 00:25:55,490
I mean, that kind of
insanity means your muffin...

600
00:25:55,524 --> 00:25:57,125
It's Space Mountain levels of fun.

601
00:25:57,159 --> 00:26:00,161
I love Space Mountain.
Best ride at Disneyland.

602
00:26:00,195 --> 00:26:01,496
But I love my penis more.

603
00:26:01,530 --> 00:26:03,298
Let me tell you two things about me.

604
00:26:03,332 --> 00:26:04,966
Okay.

605
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:08,303
Number one... I never
take second place.

606
00:26:08,337 --> 00:26:11,973
And number two... I don't
stop till I get what I want.

607
00:26:12,007 --> 00:26:13,040
What's going on in here?

608
00:26:13,058 --> 00:26:14,642
Nothing, Chanel.

609
00:26:14,677 --> 00:26:17,712
Just getting some wine
coolers for my sisters.

610
00:26:17,730 --> 00:26:20,682
By the way, Chanel, you
look amazing tonight.

611
00:26:20,716 --> 00:26:22,684
Being imprisoned by a psycho killer

612
00:26:22,718 --> 00:26:24,552
in your own house really suits you.

613
00:26:28,357 --> 00:26:30,358
Was that salad spinner hitting on you?

614
00:26:30,392 --> 00:26:33,227
Yeah, totally, which is
why I'm glad you showed up.

615
00:26:33,245 --> 00:26:36,497
I am super turned on from her,
and I need some sweet release.

616
00:26:36,532 --> 00:26:39,117
Is there any, like,
Crisco or cooking oil here?

617
00:26:39,168 --> 00:26:40,868
Just, like, dry handies bum me out.

618
00:26:42,538 --> 00:26:44,038
I have a better idea.

619
00:26:44,072 --> 00:26:45,239
Let's go out

620
00:26:45,257 --> 00:26:46,574
and join the others.

621
00:26:46,592 --> 00:26:48,009
It's game time again.

622
00:26:50,212 --> 00:26:53,247
As Kappa House copresident,
I think I can speak

623
00:26:53,265 --> 00:26:56,184
for everyone when I say
we've all been through hell.

624
00:26:56,218 --> 00:26:59,687
So, I propose we treat
ourselves to a little heaven.

625
00:26:59,722 --> 00:27:01,189
Seven Minutes in Heaven.

626
00:27:01,223 --> 00:27:02,357
I go first,

627
00:27:02,391 --> 00:27:04,192
and I pick Chad. Wait. No. Hold on.

628
00:27:04,226 --> 00:27:05,360
The whole point of this slumber party was

629
00:27:05,394 --> 00:27:06,561
to figure out who the killer is.

630
00:27:06,595 --> 00:27:07,812
Oh, give it a rest,

631
00:27:07,863 --> 00:27:09,030
Nancy Drew.

632
00:27:09,064 --> 00:27:10,765
Whatever your plan was, it isn't working.

633
00:27:10,783 --> 00:27:12,233
So, if you'll excuse me for seven minutes,

634
00:27:12,267 --> 00:27:14,902
I'm going to ask my
boyfriend, Chad Radwell,

635
00:27:14,936 --> 00:27:16,404
to dial "O"

636
00:27:16,438 --> 00:27:17,572
on my pink telephone.

637
00:27:17,606 --> 00:27:19,040
Chad?

638
00:27:19,074 --> 00:27:20,908
Would you like to pat the
little man in the canoe?

639
00:27:29,284 --> 00:27:30,785
I'm making out with you.

640
00:27:30,803 --> 00:27:32,787
I'm making out with you so hard.

641
00:27:34,223 --> 00:27:35,956
- Oh, Chad?
- Mm-hmm.

642
00:27:35,974 --> 00:27:37,592
Chad? Mm-hmm.

643
00:27:37,626 --> 00:27:40,628
I want to take our
relationship to the next level.

644
00:27:40,646 --> 00:27:42,397
What?

645
00:27:42,431 --> 00:27:44,799
Well...

646
00:27:44,817 --> 00:27:46,100
I want us to be together,

647
00:27:46,134 --> 00:27:48,069
but I want it to mean something.

648
00:27:48,103 --> 00:27:50,104
Yeah. No, I'm ready to do this.

649
00:27:50,138 --> 00:27:52,573
- What? Really?
- Definitely. I mean,

650
00:27:52,608 --> 00:27:54,859
I love boning girls all
over this great land.

651
00:27:54,910 --> 00:27:57,111
But really, at the end of the day,

652
00:27:57,145 --> 00:27:58,746
<i>I just kind of want to bone one girl.</i>

653
00:27:58,781 --> 00:28:00,981
Like, that one special girl. Mm-hmm.

654
00:28:00,999 --> 00:28:03,201
And I don't know. I just
didn't think that girl was you

655
00:28:03,252 --> 00:28:05,586
because, obviously, there's
so much wrong with you.

656
00:28:05,621 --> 00:28:09,257
But then I think about
the good things about you.

657
00:28:09,291 --> 00:28:12,794
Like... like how gullible you are,

658
00:28:12,828 --> 00:28:14,796
how rich your dad is.

659
00:28:14,830 --> 00:28:17,164
And when I think
about that girl...

660
00:28:17,182 --> 00:28:20,268
The really rich one
who's easy to trick...

661
00:28:20,302 --> 00:28:21,936
I think she's pretty special, too.

662
00:28:21,970 --> 00:28:23,771
Chad!

663
00:28:28,343 --> 00:28:30,511
Chanel?

664
00:28:30,529 --> 00:28:32,780
Will you get back together with me?

665
00:28:32,815 --> 00:28:37,235
Look, all of these murders
on campus have caused me

666
00:28:37,286 --> 00:28:39,620
to do a lot of soul searching,

667
00:28:39,655 --> 00:28:41,522
and I think I've arrived at a place

668
00:28:41,540 --> 00:28:43,124
of deep personal awareness.

669
00:28:43,158 --> 00:28:47,912
So, I would consider taking
you back under one condition.

670
00:28:47,963 --> 00:28:51,532
You have to pinky-pledge that
you will be monogamous to me.

671
00:28:51,550 --> 00:28:53,668
You will not have sex with anyone else.

672
00:28:53,702 --> 00:28:54,802
Do you understand me?

673
00:29:04,146 --> 00:29:05,847
Okay.

674
00:29:05,881 --> 00:29:07,548
Oh, Chad!

675
00:29:08,884 --> 00:29:11,652
Okay, time's up.

676
00:29:13,522 --> 00:29:15,490
Roger, we're next.

677
00:29:15,524 --> 00:29:17,658
Roger?!

678
00:29:34,877 --> 00:29:36,344
I came to see if Sam needed anything,

679
00:29:36,378 --> 00:29:37,712
but she doesn't because she's dead!

680
00:29:37,746 --> 00:29:40,548
Dude, she looks like prepackaged
meat from the supermarket.

681
00:29:40,582 --> 00:29:41,883
Chanel ♪3 is standing right there.

682
00:29:41,917 --> 00:29:43,134
Show some respect.

683
00:29:43,185 --> 00:29:44,552
We weren't dating. CHANEL: Wait.

684
00:29:44,586 --> 00:29:46,587
If she's dead and all the doors
are locked from the outside,

685
00:29:46,605 --> 00:29:48,022
that means the killer is in the house!

686
00:29:48,056 --> 00:29:49,891
Oh, God, has someone checked on the kids?

687
00:29:49,925 --> 00:29:52,059
The killer is
standing right in front of us.

688
00:29:52,093 --> 00:29:54,812
Pretty convenient that you're
the one who found the body.

689
00:29:54,863 --> 00:29:56,647
I would be offended by
that accusation, Chanel,

690
00:29:56,698 --> 00:29:59,066
if I wasn't so honored that
you were thinking about me.

691
00:29:59,100 --> 00:30:00,768
You can knock off the "neck
brace in the headlights" act.

692
00:30:00,786 --> 00:30:02,069
You're the darkest bitch of them all.

693
00:30:02,103 --> 00:30:04,071
Number 3 told me that you were the one

694
00:30:04,105 --> 00:30:05,740
who turned me in to the police.

695
00:30:05,774 --> 00:30:07,325
Those are some serious accusations,

696
00:30:07,376 --> 00:30:08,776
and they make no sense.

697
00:30:08,794 --> 00:30:10,211
Considering everything that I've seen

698
00:30:10,245 --> 00:30:12,213
and done for you here,
Chanel... Ms. Bean,

699
00:30:12,247 --> 00:30:14,582
Number Two. I would be
opening myself up to a lot

700
00:30:14,616 --> 00:30:16,384
of trouble if I were to turn
you in to the authorities.

701
00:30:16,418 --> 00:30:17,718
It doesn't do any of us any good

702
00:30:17,753 --> 00:30:19,554
to start accusing each
other with no evidence.

703
00:30:19,588 --> 00:30:20,721
But it is pretty suspicious

704
00:30:20,756 --> 00:30:22,590
that you're the one who found her, Hester.

705
00:30:22,624 --> 00:30:24,342
Okay, I understand.

706
00:30:24,393 --> 00:30:26,761
I suggest that we just have
someone stand guard and watch me

707
00:30:26,795 --> 00:30:28,963
for the rest of the night,
or until someone else dies,

708
00:30:28,981 --> 00:30:30,565
therefore proving that I am not the killer.

709
00:30:30,599 --> 00:30:31,732
I nominate Chad.

710
00:30:31,767 --> 00:30:33,401
Screw that, Evil Harrington.

711
00:30:33,435 --> 00:30:35,436
We're locking you upstairs in my closet

712
00:30:35,470 --> 00:30:37,438
until we can find a way out of here.

713
00:30:46,832 --> 00:30:48,533
This feels so good.

714
00:30:48,584 --> 00:30:51,369
Yeah, it does. No, not this.

715
00:30:51,420 --> 00:30:54,372
I mean, it feels so good
now that my brother's gone.

716
00:30:54,423 --> 00:30:56,323
It's such a relief.

717
00:30:56,341 --> 00:30:58,543
The only time we've ever been apart

718
00:30:58,594 --> 00:31:00,962
was the two minutes
that separated our birth.

719
00:31:00,996 --> 00:31:02,597
The only bummer is, like,

720
00:31:02,631 --> 00:31:04,465
we created this amazing clicking language,

721
00:31:04,499 --> 00:31:06,467
and now I have nobody to use it with.

722
00:31:06,501 --> 00:31:08,669
Wait. I could teach you!

723
00:31:08,687 --> 00:31:11,939
Okay, okay, so, two high
clicks means, "Hello."

724
00:31:11,974 --> 00:31:13,274
Okay, so...

725
00:31:14,860 --> 00:31:16,277
And three low clicks means,

726
00:31:16,311 --> 00:31:18,229
"Man, this ice cream is delicious."

727
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:19,280
Okay, so...

728
00:31:41,470 --> 00:31:43,388
I tried to scream, but nothing came out!

729
00:31:43,422 --> 00:31:44,972
Roger... Roger...

730
00:31:45,007 --> 00:31:46,424
And then he was just gone!

731
00:31:46,475 --> 00:31:48,426
The Red Devil shot Roger in the head

732
00:31:48,477 --> 00:31:50,395
with the nail gun, and
then he just disappeared!

733
00:31:50,429 --> 00:31:52,730
Okay. Here's what we know.

734
00:31:52,765 --> 00:31:55,483
One... Number Five is a
psychopath who no one likes.

735
00:31:55,517 --> 00:31:56,484
Two...

736
00:31:56,518 --> 00:31:57,885
She went in the closet

737
00:31:57,903 --> 00:32:00,104
to play Seven Minutes in
Heaven with her boyfriend,

738
00:32:00,155 --> 00:32:01,555
and then he ends up dead!

739
00:32:01,573 --> 00:32:03,074
Clearly, Chanel

740
00:32:03,108 --> 00:32:05,410
But when the Dickie Dollars got attacked,

741
00:32:05,444 --> 00:32:07,945
and Caulfield got his arms chopped off...

742
00:32:07,996 --> 00:32:10,615
<i>there were two Devils. Dos Diablos.</i>

743
00:32:10,666 --> 00:32:13,584
Okay, fine. Hester is one of the killers,

744
00:32:13,619 --> 00:32:15,453
and the other is Chanel

745
00:32:15,504 --> 00:32:17,755
Even though I firmly believe
the psychotic twin duo

746
00:32:17,790 --> 00:32:19,907
of Number Five and Number
Six are the killers...

747
00:32:19,925 --> 00:32:21,125
Oh.

748
00:32:21,176 --> 00:32:22,627
I have a pressing question

749
00:32:22,678 --> 00:32:24,178
for Haggie Gyllenhaal.

750
00:32:24,213 --> 00:32:26,297
Isn't it interesting that my former stalker

751
00:32:26,348 --> 00:32:28,683
and your current boyfriend
Pete isn't here tonight?

752
00:32:28,717 --> 00:32:30,802
He told me he was studying tonight.

753
00:32:30,853 --> 00:32:33,254
He did. He
told me he was studying.

754
00:32:33,272 --> 00:32:34,355
Interesting.

755
00:32:34,390 --> 00:32:35,640
That's all I'm gonna say.

756
00:32:35,691 --> 00:32:36,808
Interesting.

757
00:32:36,859 --> 00:32:38,976
Oh, dudes,

758
00:32:39,027 --> 00:32:40,862
there is a trapdoor

759
00:32:40,896 --> 00:32:42,263
with, like, a tunnel system.

760
00:32:42,281 --> 00:32:43,931
See, Chanel? I wasn't lying.

761
00:32:43,949 --> 00:32:45,099
But wait, there are secret tunnels

762
00:32:45,117 --> 00:32:47,318
in this house perfect for a killer to use,

763
00:32:47,369 --> 00:32:49,153
and you neglected to tell us?

764
00:32:49,204 --> 00:32:50,655
That's a little suspicious.

765
00:32:50,706 --> 00:32:52,773
Okay, look. We are losing
sight of the big picture here.

766
00:32:52,791 --> 00:32:53,825
Chanel couldn't have killed Roger

767
00:32:53,876 --> 00:32:55,460
because she was with us when it happened.

768
00:32:55,494 --> 00:32:57,044
None of us killed him. While Chanel

769
00:32:57,079 --> 00:32:58,663
and Roger were in the closet,

770
00:32:58,714 --> 00:33:01,299
we were all together... which
means none of us did it.

771
00:33:01,333 --> 00:33:02,783
I'm going down there. Are you crazy?!

772
00:33:02,801 --> 00:33:04,635
The Red Devil could still be in the house.

773
00:33:04,670 --> 00:33:06,838
Both of the Red Devils
could still be in the house.

774
00:33:06,889 --> 00:33:08,556
Look, this house is sealed up, right?

775
00:33:08,590 --> 00:33:10,725
Doors and windows locked. So if none of us

776
00:33:10,759 --> 00:33:13,561
is the killer, that tunnel
is how the Red Devil got in.

777
00:33:13,595 --> 00:33:15,129
That also means it's our way out.

778
00:33:15,147 --> 00:33:16,681
I'm not going down there.

779
00:33:16,732 --> 00:33:18,632
I do not dig on cobwebs, and I'm guessing

780
00:33:18,650 --> 00:33:20,351
there are loads of cobwebs down there.

781
00:33:20,402 --> 00:33:22,803
I'm going with her.

782
00:33:22,821 --> 00:33:24,522
We're copresidents of this house

783
00:33:24,573 --> 00:33:27,275
and responsible for what
happens under this roof.

784
00:33:29,077 --> 00:33:30,978
: Chanel...

785
00:33:30,996 --> 00:33:33,197
if you get murdered in those tunnels,

786
00:33:33,248 --> 00:33:36,650
I promise I will never bang
anyone harder than I banged you.

787
00:33:36,668 --> 00:33:37,502
Chad...

788
00:33:37,536 --> 00:33:38,419
Let's do this.

789
00:33:38,454 --> 00:33:41,005
I love you.

790
00:33:41,039 --> 00:33:43,674
Oh... you're so rich and hot.

791
00:33:56,104 --> 00:33:58,055
♪ ♪

792
00:34:06,782 --> 00:34:09,734
These are the nicest secret
tunnels I've ever seen.

793
00:34:09,785 --> 00:34:11,736
These tunnels were designed and decorated

794
00:34:11,787 --> 00:34:15,406
by founding Kappa sister
Madam Cynthia Rogers Bouvet.

795
00:34:15,457 --> 00:34:18,025
She was the interior decorator
for both the Cleveland

796
00:34:18,043 --> 00:34:20,578
and Taft Administrations.

797
00:34:27,002 --> 00:34:31,205
She had affairs with both of them.

798
00:34:31,223 --> 00:34:34,225
Rumor has it Taft fell
asleep while mounting her

799
00:34:34,259 --> 00:34:37,645
and crushed her to death.

800
00:34:37,679 --> 00:34:39,931
These are all past presidents.

801
00:34:39,982 --> 00:34:41,933
Marcy
Weiss...

802
00:34:41,984 --> 00:34:44,735
Kappa president 1928 to 1930.

803
00:34:44,770 --> 00:34:47,438
She helped Kappa avoid the
misery of the Great Depression

804
00:34:47,489 --> 00:34:49,824
by kicking out any sister
whose family was affected

805
00:34:49,858 --> 00:34:52,360
by the crash of '29 and
couldn't pay their dues.

806
00:34:53,695 --> 00:34:55,246
Wandy
Hart...

807
00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:57,248
Kappa president 1970.

808
00:34:57,282 --> 00:34:58,666
Personally responsible

809
00:34:58,700 --> 00:35:00,952
for crushing the antiwar movement on campus

810
00:35:01,003 --> 00:35:04,405
by having the administration
ban macramé, fringed vests

811
00:35:04,423 --> 00:35:06,841
and Creedence Clearwater Revival songs.

812
00:35:07,876 --> 00:35:09,927
Missy
Carmichael...

813
00:35:09,962 --> 00:35:12,129
Kappa president 1986.

814
00:35:12,180 --> 00:35:15,766
A pioneer in bringing
cocaine to Kappa Kappa Tau.

815
00:35:17,803 --> 00:35:19,520
Wow. What amazing legacies

816
00:35:19,555 --> 00:35:20,805
they all have.

817
00:35:20,856 --> 00:35:22,756
What do you think ours will be?

818
00:35:22,774 --> 00:35:25,426
If we can get through this year
without everyone getting killed,

819
00:35:25,444 --> 00:35:27,979
I think we'll go down as
the greatest of them all.

820
00:36:02,230 --> 00:36:03,464
Oh...

821
00:36:06,184 --> 00:36:08,019
Come on!

822
00:36:17,245 --> 00:36:19,914
- You came back for me.
- Purely selfish.

823
00:36:19,948 --> 00:36:23,084
If I'm gonna survive this thing,
I'm gonna need the numbers.

824
00:36:27,277 --> 00:36:28,811
Don't you see that all the killings

825
00:36:28,845 --> 00:36:30,613
have been about Kappa?
Well, except for Coney,

826
00:36:30,647 --> 00:36:32,348
but he was just
irritating.

827
00:36:32,366 --> 00:36:34,567
Yeah, that's becoming pretty obvious.

828
00:36:34,618 --> 00:36:35,851
You are probably

829
00:36:35,869 --> 00:36:37,620
the worst cop ever.

830
00:36:37,654 --> 00:36:39,906
We're
pretty much gonna focus

831
00:36:39,957 --> 00:36:42,074
all of our attention on
protecting this house.

832
00:36:42,125 --> 00:36:43,192
I'm gonna have uniformed officers

833
00:36:43,210 --> 00:36:44,693
posted outside 24/7.

834
00:36:44,711 --> 00:36:47,163
That is fantastic news.

835
00:36:47,197 --> 00:36:48,798
What's fantastic?

836
00:36:48,832 --> 00:36:50,533
Come on.

837
00:36:50,551 --> 00:36:53,702
You and I both know that that
lesbian was cannon fodder.

838
00:36:53,720 --> 00:36:54,870
And think about it.

839
00:36:54,888 --> 00:36:56,672
What kind of life was that guy gonna live

840
00:36:56,706 --> 00:36:58,808
with no arms, really?

841
00:36:58,842 --> 00:37:00,977
They were but a small price to pay

842
00:37:01,011 --> 00:37:03,763
for the knowledge that I
can now place a robocall

843
00:37:03,814 --> 00:37:07,350
to every parent and student
at this university saying

844
00:37:07,384 --> 00:37:11,387
that as long as they are not a
sister of, pledging, or sleeping

845
00:37:11,405 --> 00:37:14,890
with someone from Kappa
House, they are safe

846
00:37:14,908 --> 00:37:17,109
to resume normal school activities.

847
00:37:17,160 --> 00:37:18,227
Grace.

848
00:37:18,245 --> 00:37:21,163
Dad, hi.

849
00:37:21,198 --> 00:37:23,165
Oh, thank God. Hi.

850
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:26,035
What's wrong? Grace. Come on.

851
00:37:26,069 --> 00:37:27,503
Wait, where are we going?

852
00:37:27,538 --> 00:37:28,904
Out of here.

853
00:37:28,922 --> 00:37:31,791
No, Dad, I'm not leaving.

854
00:37:31,842 --> 00:37:34,343
Not now. Not when my
sisters need me the most.

855
00:37:34,378 --> 00:37:36,745
Your sisters are getting
picked off like ducks on a pond!

856
00:37:36,763 --> 00:37:38,047
I won't go!

857
00:37:38,081 --> 00:37:39,632
And you can't make me.

858
00:37:39,683 --> 00:37:41,801
In three seconds,

859
00:37:41,852 --> 00:37:44,420
I'm gonna pick you up
and carry you out of here.

860
00:37:44,438 --> 00:37:45,521
Do you understand me?

861
00:37:45,556 --> 00:37:46,522
I don't think so,

862
00:37:46,557 --> 00:37:48,858
Dad. You're a good man,

863
00:37:48,892 --> 00:37:50,810
and I love the way you love her.

864
00:37:50,861 --> 00:37:52,761
But if sister wants to stay,

865
00:37:52,779 --> 00:37:53,896
she's staying.

866
00:37:57,901 --> 00:38:00,653
Oh. Um, I-I just kind of came over here

867
00:38:00,704 --> 00:38:02,771
because I farted over
there and it smelled bad.

868
00:38:07,578 --> 00:38:09,328
Okay.

869
00:38:09,379 --> 00:38:11,831
Dad.

870
00:38:11,882 --> 00:38:13,833
Dad, can...

871
00:38:18,288 --> 00:38:21,257
I'm sorry about Roger. Or Dodger.

872
00:38:21,291 --> 00:38:23,092
Well, both.

873
00:38:23,126 --> 00:38:24,627
Thanks.

874
00:38:24,645 --> 00:38:26,395
I'm sorry about Sam.

875
00:38:26,430 --> 00:38:28,064
Thanks.

876
00:38:28,098 --> 00:38:29,899
I miss her.

877
00:38:29,933 --> 00:38:31,017
I loved her.

878
00:38:31,068 --> 00:38:33,569
Her tattoos and the way she wore

879
00:38:33,604 --> 00:38:36,689
that hat without any irony at all.

880
00:38:36,740 --> 00:38:39,025
She awakened a deep sexual honesty in me

881
00:38:39,076 --> 00:38:41,360
that, up until now, I was afraid to admit.

882
00:38:41,411 --> 00:38:42,912
Wait, you're a lesbian?

883
00:38:42,946 --> 00:38:44,813
No. At first, my feelings

884
00:38:44,831 --> 00:38:46,449
for Sam made me think I was.

885
00:38:46,483 --> 00:38:49,452
But then, in that
moment, when I kissed her,

886
00:38:49,486 --> 00:38:52,121
I realized I didn't care
if she was a girl or a guy.

887
00:38:52,155 --> 00:38:55,124
Basically, I'm in love with love.

888
00:38:55,158 --> 00:38:57,126
And Sam dying taught me that...

889
00:38:57,160 --> 00:39:00,463
the next time I feel love for
someone, I'm going to tell them.

890
00:39:00,497 --> 00:39:02,465
Right away.

891
00:39:02,499 --> 00:39:04,300
Just in case they're murdered before I can.

892
00:39:04,334 --> 00:39:07,002
It was like her final gift to you.

893
00:39:07,020 --> 00:39:09,004
That's a nice way of thinking about it.

894
00:39:09,022 --> 00:39:11,140
Makes me feel a little less
guilty about condemning her

895
00:39:11,174 --> 00:39:13,392
to die by daring her to go
down to the basement alone.

896
00:39:13,443 --> 00:39:17,279
I'd always felt like I'd won the
lottery with Roger and Dodger.

897
00:39:17,314 --> 00:39:18,447
I mean, I never thought

898
00:39:18,482 --> 00:39:20,066
they'd both get killed.

899
00:39:20,117 --> 00:39:22,318
What are the chances,
right? I just feel like

900
00:39:22,352 --> 00:39:23,736
I'm never gonna find a guy who likes me.

901
00:39:23,787 --> 00:39:26,522
Let alone two who look exactly alike.

902
00:39:26,540 --> 00:39:27,740
I'm a freak.

903
00:39:27,791 --> 00:39:29,959
I mean, the only reason I'm in this house

904
00:39:29,993 --> 00:39:32,294
is 'cause I'm a legacy.

905
00:39:32,329 --> 00:39:34,413
Nobody actually likes me.

906
00:39:34,464 --> 00:39:36,198
Chanel has the whole campus convinced

907
00:39:36,216 --> 00:39:38,834
that my vagina has teeth.

908
00:39:38,868 --> 00:39:42,505
You are totally gonna find another guy.

909
00:39:42,539 --> 00:39:44,707
You're super cute, and you're a Kappa.

910
00:39:44,725 --> 00:39:47,476
And I'm sure there's some
awesome dude out there

911
00:39:47,511 --> 00:39:49,378
who will accept you for who
you are, vaginal teeth and all.

912
00:39:49,396 --> 00:39:51,480
Thanks.

913
00:39:51,515 --> 00:39:53,482
And let's make a pact.

914
00:39:53,517 --> 00:39:55,151
No matter what happens,

915
00:39:55,185 --> 00:39:57,019
no matter what dignity
we have to sacrifice,

916
00:39:57,053 --> 00:39:58,688
what laws we have to break,

917
00:39:58,722 --> 00:40:00,940
what bodies we have to step over,

918
00:40:00,991 --> 00:40:04,226
you and I are going to outlive Chanel.

919
00:40:04,244 --> 00:40:05,194
Deal?

920
00:40:06,246 --> 00:40:07,863
Deal.

921
00:40:07,897 --> 00:40:10,533
<i>Pledges and sisters</i>

922
00:40:10,567 --> 00:40:13,002
of Kappa House, thanks to me,

923
00:40:13,036 --> 00:40:14,704
you've all survived yet another attack

924
00:40:14,738 --> 00:40:16,455
from the Red Devil killer.

925
00:40:16,506 --> 00:40:19,208
Once again, death came to Kappa House,

926
00:40:19,242 --> 00:40:21,410
and once again that death, while tragic,

927
00:40:21,428 --> 00:40:23,245
has brought us all closer together.

928
00:40:23,263 --> 00:40:25,047
I even kind of like Zayday now.

929
00:40:26,016 --> 00:40:27,082
And I got gifts.

930
00:40:29,936 --> 00:40:31,971
Giant, pink

931
00:40:32,022 --> 00:40:33,255
chopsticks.

932
00:40:33,273 --> 00:40:35,924
No. They're custom-made pink nunchaku.

933
00:40:35,942 --> 00:40:37,926
Oh. If I can impart anything

934
00:40:37,944 --> 00:40:40,062
on you slits over the course of this year,

935
00:40:40,096 --> 00:40:43,032
it's that Kappas don't
take any crap from anyone.

936
00:40:43,066 --> 00:40:45,367
Guys, I joined this sorority
to feel close to my mom,

937
00:40:45,402 --> 00:40:48,037
to get a taste of the sisterhood
that she was so inspired by.

938
00:40:48,071 --> 00:40:50,272
And after last night, I really feel it.

939
00:40:50,290 --> 00:40:52,708
I'm with you guys, no
matter what.

940
00:40:52,743 --> 00:40:53,909
Thank you for making that announcement

941
00:40:53,943 --> 00:40:55,044
that no one cared about.

942
00:40:55,078 --> 00:40:57,913
Now, I pledge that from this night on,

943
00:40:57,947 --> 00:40:59,381
we will not lose any more of our sisters.

944
00:40:59,416 --> 00:41:00,666
How are you gonna do that?

945
00:41:00,717 --> 00:41:02,551
We are gonna take the fight to him.

946
00:41:02,586 --> 00:41:05,004
I will not rest until we have the Red Devil

947
00:41:05,055 --> 00:41:08,090
or Red Devils' heads on spikes
on the front lawn of this house.

948
00:41:08,124 --> 00:41:10,593
Well, that's all well and good,

949
00:41:10,627 --> 00:41:12,678
but we all know that it was

950
00:41:12,729 --> 00:41:14,430
my slumber party idea that made this whole

951
00:41:14,464 --> 00:41:16,766
"'We Are the World' Hands
Across America" stuff happen.

952
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:19,769
And we never got to
appropriately finish said party.

953
00:41:19,803 --> 00:41:21,604
Now, I don't know about you guys,

954
00:41:21,638 --> 00:41:23,572
but in O-Town,

955
00:41:23,607 --> 00:41:25,357
no slumber party is finished

956
00:41:25,408 --> 00:41:27,359
without a kickass dance party.

957
00:41:27,410 --> 00:41:29,144
What, what?!

958
00:41:35,118 --> 00:41:37,620
This is so wonderfully random.

959
00:41:37,654 --> 00:41:39,321
I know. What a great way to pretend

960
00:41:39,339 --> 00:41:41,490
all these people we know
weren't brutally murdered.

961
00:41:41,508 --> 00:41:44,710
- ♪ There's nothing you and
I won't do ♪ -  Stop.

962
00:41:44,761 --> 00:41:48,431
- Kappa...! - ♪ I'll stop
the world and melt with you. ♪

963
00:41:48,465 --> 00:41:50,846
Sync and corrections by wilson0804
www.Addic7ed.com


