All language subtitles for The.Tuxedo.2002.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1

[birds chirping]

- Come on.
- [woman on phone] Central
Security Agency.

This is Wallace. Operation Big
Drip is cresting Level Two.

- I need Devlin now.
- [woman] Hold.

No, no, don't put me
on hold! Mother...

[groaning]

[bubbling]

[woman] Hello, Agent Wallace.
I need your nine-digit
security code, please.

Hello? Agent Wallace?

Agent Wallace?

Agua la vista, baby.

[man] Hello,
my name's Jimmy Tong,

and I was wondering if
there's anything I could say

that would convince you
to have a lunch with me.

[man 2, high-pitched]
Oh, Jimmy, you're so cute.

Let's go back to your apartment
and make like... donkey.

[Jimmy] You got me
nervous again.

- It's just a salesgirl.
- To you, but, to me...

I dream of her
before I ever saw her.

- No, that there! That!
That is the line.
- Shh.

- Go tell her that. That line.
- Listen.

Hi. My name
is Jimmy Tong.

When I see you,
I have a wet dream.

- Is that what I say?
- No, you know,

just ask her out
to lunch now,

and later,
we work out that line.

But hurry up, man.
We be wasting time, man.

Come on.
We have to drive.

[man 2] And whatever you do, do
not be yourself. Just joking.

- [woman] Thank you so much.
- [man] You're welcome. Goodbye.

I can do it. Hi.
My name's Jimmy Tong.

OK... [exhales]

- Hi.
- Hi.

Pretty colors.

- Will you excuse me
for just one moment?
- OK.

Uh...

Just between us guys,

you don't come around here
for the art, do you?

- Who would?
- Yeah.

Uh, let me, as owner
of this gallery,

give you a little bit
of friendly advice.

Don't waste any time.

You go over there,
and you ask Jennifer out.

- You think so?
- Yes.

That way,
she can say "no"

and we can get on
with our little lives.

- Thank you for your advice.
- Yeah.

Hello. My name Jimmy Tong.

What can I say to convince you
to have lunch with me?

[¶ Barry White: Love's Theme]

Ah!

Oh!

I'm sorry.
Are you hurt?

I'm... I didn't...

[grunting]

[screams]

Come here,
you little runt.

Ah!

Hi. Hello.

[honking]

[man] Get back here!
Come here!

Where'd you go?
Where are you?

Sauer... sauerkraut or
sauercrop? Sauerkraut?

- [yelling]
- Ow!

Hey! I just
washed that car.

What the hell
wrong with you, boy?

Want I jam this in
your ass and break it?

[man] You want a go?
Come down here.

Whoa, whoa, wait.
Not too fast.

Hey, I just
want to talk.

You do that there, man.
You do that.

Oh, you're scared now.
[clucking]

Just go and get yourself
some training wheels!

Go get a tattoo
of a chicken! Go!

I thought all your
people know karate.

Not everybody Chinese
is Bruce Lee.

[man] Just calm yourself,
Jimmy. Calm yourself.

Just not my day.

Whoo! Wow.

You think you can get me
to 70 Fleming Street?

Of course.
Wait a second.

[blowing]

- You Jimmy Tong?
- That's who I am.

- Who are you?
- [woman] The name is Steena.

- So how come you drive so fast?
- More fares.

Mm. That why you had your
license suspended nine
times for speeding?

- But no accidents.
- Do you remember
where I'm going?

- Seventy Fleming.
- Get me there before I finish

putting on my makeup,
and I'll double the meter.

You serious?

Do I look like I have
a sense of humor?

OK.

[¶ Overseer: Screw Up]

- Hurry, open the gate!
- Hey, Jimmy! Ho-ho-ho!

[speaking Chinese]

You drive too fast!

¶ I got mad skills
I will get wild ¶

¶ I got mad skills
I will get wild ¶

¶ I will get wild
I will get wild ¶

¶ I got mad skills
I will get wild ¶

¶ I got mad skills
I will get wild ¶

¶ I got mad skills
I will get wild ¶

¶ I will get wild
I will get wild ¶

Yeah, I got mascara and eyeliner
left. You got five blocks.

[siren wailing]

[horns honking]

Don't tell me
you're slowing down.

[horns honking]

You know, you drive like
an old woman.

- Hm!
- You're not scared, are you?

[honking]

[honking]

[honking]

¶ I got mad skills
I will get wild ¶

¶ I got mad skills
I will get wild ¶

¶ I will get wild
I will get wild ¶

- [whistle blows]
- [man] Hey, you!

What do you think
you're doing?

Back off, buddy.
She's mine.

Oh, it's you, miss.

Well, you lived up to your
reputation. The job is yours.

I have a job.
A good one.

How much do you make
at this good job?

$475 a week,
plus tips.

How would you like
to make $2,000 a week

plus room and board?

- When do I show up?
- Tomorrow morning, 7AM.

You'll be driving
Clark Devlin, Mr. Tong.

[man] Good day, miss.

Now, you!
Out of here!

[Steena] Good morning,
Mr. Tong.

You put your face on
without me, huh?

Please, have a seat.

Those are the house rules.
Memorize them.

Especially number one.

[Jimmy] "Never talk
directly to Mr. Devlin."

Any questions, you'll
find the answers in there.

And if I were you, I'd get
rid of the mildew on the chin.

- My soul patch?
- [laughs] Yeah.

[Jimmy] You like working
for this Devlin guy?

I don't
work for him.

[door slams]

I'm not a professional driver,
but I'd always believed

that thing
you're staring into

is for monitoring traffic,
not passengers.

Am I wrong?

While I'm really enjoying
our time together,

shall we try moving?

[Devlin] Wallace has been
my partner for years.

Something's
happened to him.

He wouldn't
just disappear.

You get your job done
and find my partner.

- [man on phone] Tell me how.
- [Devlin] You're the head

of an intelligence agency.
Be intelligent.

- [man] I don't understand.
- [Devlin] Call me back

when you
do understand.

[¶ Rinocerose: Dead Flowers]

Did we just take
the Balsam Road exit?

Of course. You have to
take the surface street.

Sorry.

Did you get a copy
of the rules?

Did you read them?

Jimmy, let me tell you
something, my friend.

I hate the rules.

Take Grant Boulevard all the
way. The lights are timed.

- [Jimmy] Thank you.
- [speaks foreign language]

And, Jimmy,
crank the music up.

Yes, sir.

[song continues]

[man] Deputy Director Chalmers,
ladies, gentlemen,

I present to you
Special Agent Wallace.

[man] Deceased
two days, 14 hours,

- five minutes, approximately.
- [man 2] Interesting.

Why don't you tell me
a little about him?

Well, in simplest terms,
he drowned in his bathtub.

Contusion here suggests
he hit his head,

fell prone,
unconscious.

The man infiltrated
a Serbian death squad

with not even
a scratch.

- He goes down in a bathtub?
- Life's a bitch.

Want to put him back
in the fridge?

[woman]
He didn't drown, sir.

He was murdered.

Does that make life
a little less bitchy?

- And you would be?
- That's Del Blaine, sir.

She's having
a filter installed

between her brain
and mouth next week.

So you don't think
he drowned?

Well, there was water in his
lungs, but the pulmonary vein

was filled with
collapsed platelets,

indicative of dehydration.
He died of thirst.

- Thirst.
- It wasn't just city tap water.

The mineral profile fit
high-end bottled water,

but what was weird was it
contained a strain of bacteria

that I, so far, haven't
been able to culture.

Anyway, uh...
didn't mean to interrupt.

Ooo. The woman seems
to know a lot about water.

Yeah. She thinks she knows
a lot about a lot of things.

We have a special
situation in the field.

I think we could use your
talents. You interested?

- When do I start?
- You ever hear of Clark Devlin?

- Rumors and innuendo.
- [Steena] Del, I could
tell you a thing or two

- about Clark Devlin.
- Think we could keep our minds

out of the gutter
for about a second?

Meet me upstairs
in an hour.

[Chalmers] You might just become
Clark Devlin's next partner.

[Devlin] I'm gonna need
that Gerris marginalis

as soon as possible.

[woman] My contacts in Guatemala
have what you're looking for.

Good. And, meanwhile...

...I'll take one of these
beautiful Uticella marginalis.

[Devlin] Just gorgeous.

- Now, you're gonna call me?
- Is your phone number on file?

[Devlin] I'm having trouble
with the phones.

It might be better if you
dropped it off yourself.

- It may take a while.
- Familiarize yourself
with the route.

There's a little gathering
at my house tonight,

a fundraiser for the
Natural History Museum.

I would so love
to have you.

[mouthing]

- Should I send a car?
- I drive myself.

Admirable.
Eight o'clock.

And, uh, be sure not to wear
anything too distracting,

or no one will get
their checkbooks out.

How did you learn
to be so smooth?

I've seen the way you drive. You
have the same instincts I do.

You lack confidence.

The girl in the art gallery's
not beyond you, you know.

- You know about her?
- Every time we leave the house,

we go by the art gallery
and slow down.

You just need
a little polish.

- I'll never be a Clark Devlin.
- Don't tell anyone this,

but there's a lot less
to Clark than meets the eye.

I've got a couple of good lines
and very expensive suits.

Apart from that,
we're exactly the same.

How about a couple
hundred million?

Trust me. Ninety percent
of it is the clothes.

The other ten percent?

The other ten percent's in
there. You've got plenty of it.

- Oh. Mr. Devlin,
can I ask you a big favor?
- Yeah?

Can l stop
wearing my hat?

- All right.
- Thank you.

No, just stay smooth.
Remember, smooth.

Thank you.

Steena, Devlin.

This driver, this Jimmy,
I like him.

Let's get him
a proper suit.

Something sexy.
You pick it out.

All right. Always a delight
talking to you, too, darling.

- Home, James.
- Absolutely, Mr. Devlin.

[¶ Anibal Troilo:
Quejas de Bandoneуn]

[sighs]

- Watch your step.
- Thank you, sir.

[humming]

This definitely
not a rental.

Hello. My name's
Clark Devlin.

Would you
like to dance?

Would you like
to dance? [chuckles]

Admirable.

There is just one rule:

Never touch my tuxedo.

- I didn't.
- Good.

- Don't.
- Yes, sir.

Jimmy, get the car.
Let's go for dinner.

Yes, sir.

What'll you have?
It's my treat.

Anything.

Two Whoppers, hold the
onion, extra ketchup.

Toast the bottom bun only,
medium well done.

Two large fries,
extra well-done.

Two chocolate milkshakes,

however the chef likes.
That's it.

[woman] Your order's
ready. Pull forward.

- That's pretty quick.
- It's fast food. Anything else?

Yeah. I'll have a personal
pizza, crispy crust.

He doesn't eat out much. They
don't serve pizza at Burger...

New item, huh? Do you
have chicken chow mein?

Thank you.

- Jimmy?
- Yes? It's a drive-through.

Let's drive.
Watch out!

[beeping]

- Watch it, man!
- Sorry, pal.

Let's go.

Why are we running away
from a skateboard?

I think it's
probably a bomb.

[laughs] I thought
you said "a bomb."

What do you mean,
a bomb?

[horns honking]

[honking]

[honking]

[honking]

No good. Out!

- Mr. Devlin!
- Move!

[beeping]

- Jimmy, you OK?
- I'm fine. You OK, boss?

Yeah. Yeah, all
in a day's work.

Oh, damn.

- Mr. Devlin.
- You got any aspirin?

- Who did this to you?
- Water Stri...

Walter Strider?
He's the one?

- Wat... er... stri...
- Walter... Walter Strider.

- [Devlin] No... no police.
- OK.

I need an ambulance
right now. His name is...

- Trust nobody.
- His name is...

Brad Dillford.

- Wear it.
- Wear...

Boss! Boss!

[sirens approaching]

Hold on, boss. You'll be fine.
I'll take care of you.

Wa...

- Stri...
- [woman] Sir!

- Please wait
in the waiting room.
- OK.

- I will find Walter Strider.
- Hey, hey!

I'm sorry.

I promise.

[man] What do you want
my mother's maiden name for?

Last time she was in here,
I was born.

I'm sure my dad had something to
do with it. At least I hope so.

[woman] Where is Dr. Angelo?
Where is Dr. Angelo?

Dr. Angelo.
Are you Dr. Angela?

Dr. Angela.
Dr. Ang...

Hey! There's no smoking
in a hospital.

- I was nervous. How is he?
- He might be here a while.

You might want to get him
some things from home

in case he comes to.

Oh. He had this
clutched in his hand.

I don't know
if it means anything.

[woman on PA] Orderly with
wheels to the front desk.

I do need Dr. Angelo.

- Dr. Angelo.
- Dr. Angelo is
on holiday today.

- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.

[seagulls crying]

[man] I'll tell you,
I'm pretty excited.

Nervous, but excited.
I'm pumped.

I knew I was doing good work
for Banning International,

but I didn't know Mr. Banning
would take notice of me so soon.

When I'm CEO of this place, I
won't be having my headquarters

in the bottom of a boat,
you know what I mean?

[man] Why did you
choose Mr. Lundeen?

He questioned
my growth projections.

No, that's not it.

I don't like
his hair.

[man] Mr. Banning.

So word filtered down to me
that you don't share my optimism

- about our company's future.
- Oh, no. Actually, I just...

- Drink?
- Oh, yes, thank you.

I just felt that
to meet your projections,

every person on Earth
would have to drink

only Banning Springs water.

Yes, indeed.
Water, Mr. Lundeen,

comprises 60 percent
of your body.

[Banning] Don't you
find it incredible

that two hydrogen atoms
and an oxygen atom

can combine to
create something

so beautiful, so useful,
so essential?

I find water to be...
miraculous.

- [Banning] You think I'm silly?
- Not at all. [clears throat]

- Feeling thirsty?
- Yes.

You're helping me out by being
a guinea pig for a new product.

Oh, I see.
What a brilliant idea.

Water that makes you
thirsty. What's in it?

- Salt?
- [heart beating]

There's no
profundity in salt.

Bacteria.

Once ingested, its DNA will
instruct your cells' cytoplasm

to spill electrolytes
into your bloodstream,

causing dehydration.

It's virulent, but,
unfortunately, it's too fast.

Way too fast. As we speak, your
internal organs are shriveling.

- Ah!
- [Banning] You're
becoming as dry as...

Well, as dry as
your limited imagination.

Gentlemen, fetch the vacuum,
won't you? Thank you.

[Jimmy] Schiffer, Schwartzkopf,
Sondheim, Springsteen...

No Strider.

[beeping]

Wow.

[beeps]

[computerized male voice]
Welcome to the Tactical
Uniform Experiment.

Tuxedo recognizing new user.

Mapping user's
neurological structure.

Activate wristwatch
for desired function.

Demo... OK, show me.
Uh-oh.

[male voice] Caution:
demolition mode.
The Tuxedo will consider

any object a target
and act to destroy it.

What's happening?

[male voice] Exit the
demolition mode immediately.

Whoa!

[¶ The Earl Young Band:
Disco Inferno]

¶ Disco inferno
Burn, baby, burn ¶

¶ Burn the mother down

¶ Burn, baby, burn

- [man] Mr. Devlin,
everything all right?
- This is Jimmy.

I think Mr. Devlin wants you
to clean his room tomorrow.

It's a little bit messy.
I think he threw the party.

- Should I send someone up now?
- No. Maybe after he leaves.

- Very good.
- [ringing]

Ah!

[ringing]

- Hello?
- Are we on?

Are we on what?

I take my work
seriously Mr. Devlin,

please stop using
that ridiculous accent.

- What? What accent?
- [Del] All right.

I'll play it
however you want.

Banning is holding
a meeting with water CEOs.

[Del] The Agency wants us
to find out what he's planning.

- What about Walter Strider?
- Who is he?

- I don't know. You tell me.
- OK.

So we will meet tomorrow,
V-15, 10:00. I'll be
wearing a gray suit.

Your code is
"nice rack."

- [laughing]
- I'll respond,
"I forgot my bra."

- That passes
for humor around here.
- [Jimmy] 10:00, V-15.

- What's the cross street?
- Very funny.

- May I join you?
- Uh, yeah.

Nice rack.

[punch landing]

[phone ringing]

- Hello.
- Mr. Devlin, there's
been a change of plans.

- But I'm here. Where are you?
- Don't get all pissy.

They just told me,
I'm telling you. We'll
meet tonight, 8:00, Pier 17,

base of the silo
and forget the password.

- Oh, now you tell me.
- There he is.
Oh, my God, that's him.

- I got to go.
See you tonight. Sorry.
- Get him!

- [man] Stop!
- [woman] Get back here,
you creep!

So we've got five minutes
to get into position.

I secured the rooftop.
Equipment's good,
and I have to say

it is such an honor to be
working with the legendary...

...Clark Devlin?

- I'm Del Blaine.
- Have we met before?

- No.
- Good.

OK, Del Blaine, let's do
what we've come here to do.

- I'll follow you.
- Ladies first.

OK.

Couple of details changed
from what was in the
file. You read it?

The files are crap.
Uh, give me the short version.

Banning's holding a
meeting of international
water company CEOs.

He's trying to force them
into selling their companies.

- Where are you going?
- I'm thinking.

We had Agent Wallace working
undercover at his factory.

That is, until last week.
Wallace calls us
on his cell phone

to tell us the operation
had reached critical mass
and, suddenly, wham! Dead.

As you requested,
a Kleinholz bolt-action 9mm,

titanium folding stock with
20-time infrared sniper-scope

and counterweighted
micro-rifled barrel.

My favorite gun. But I
don't kill people anymore.

Killing?
You're planting a bug.

- It was in that "crap" file.
- Go look through
your binoculars.

[beeping]

They're arriving. Ready?

It's critical we get a listening
device in Banning's meeting.

- [beeping]
- [Del] Range: 962 feet.

Aim for the briefcase.

Should be a piece
of cake for you, sir.

- [man screaming]
- [ship horn blaring]

You kind of missed.

[beeping]

In the year 2001,

$35 billion worth of bottled
water was consumed worldwide.

Today, bottled water costs
more per gallon than gasoline.

We, my friends,
are the new oil barons.

[Banning on radio] We at
Banning Springs have developed
a new filtration process

that would protect your assets
against the biological
holocaust that's coming.

- Looks like we got company.
- CSA would be my bet.

You've heard what I have to say.
Now I'd like to hear you.

How much is this plan
gonna cost us?

It won't cost you a penny,
out of pocket.
All I ask is to become

your slightly-more-
than-equal partner.

[Del] Banning says he's got the
only process to make water safe.

To use it, they've got to give
him half of their companies?

He's trying to muscle
these guys into selling
their companies to him.

- [beeping]
- [Del] Banning says
water sources are in danger.

Something about everyone being
defenseless against bacteria.

I can barely make out
what he's saying.
Do you want to listen to this?

- What do you think that means?
- Del Blaine!

Yeah, I'll be
there in a minute.

Yeah, I'd really like
some help up here, sir.

- Del Blaine!
- [Del] Do you hear me, sir?

I know this is not as exciting
as most of your missions,

but could you humor me with
just a little professionalism?

I would really
love some help...

What are you doing?

- What's with the jumpy-jumpy?
- Take off your headphones!

- What?
- Your headphones!

OK, chapter six
of the training manual.

Unarmed assailant,
frontal attack. Begin!

Stomach, head!
Stomach, head!

[whimpers]

Ah!

God!
What's my name?! Yeah!

- You OK? Oh!
- Where the hell have you been?!

- [Del] Stop pushing!
- [man] Ow! My hand!

Ah!

[squealing]

Yeah! Not bad. Sir?!

Sir, are you OK, sir?

- Don't let go! Don't!
- No, no, no, let go! [screams]

[Del] You're
ripping my sleeve!

[screams]

No, no. No, not, not my...

- Ah!
- Sir!

My ring.

[screaming]

Oh, my God! Oh, my...

This was not
part of the plan.

Del Blaine?

- Del!
- [footsteps]

[beeping]

Confidence.

Del...

[muttering] Moron...
Not in the manual.

Creep!

[tires squealing]

Del Blaine! Stop!

- Ah! Get off of me!
- Why didn't you stop?

What the hell is wrong
with you?! How do you
fall off a building

and end up... Oh!

You OK?

[both panting]

Would you stop that?

[Jimmy] It's OK.

[Del] I am in the car
with a psychopath.

- We are not safe.
- Are you upset?

Why would I be upset?

I've always wanted to
begin and end my career

with a big fat failure!
Thank you very much, Mr. Devlin.

It's my first time.

I mean, every mission
is like my first time.

It's so difficult
being Clark Devlin.

Sorry.

[screams]

- Ah!
- [coughing]

- I didn't do that.
- What is wrong with you?!

- I'm not who you think I am.
- Stay away!

I'm a little over-amped
myself right now.
Let's just call it a day.

- Get some rest and medication.
- What?

We'll be in
communication.

I don't have
your phone number!

[Del] Who am I kidding?
I have no idea what I'm doing
or why I'm doing it.

[Steena] I felt the same way
when I took my first assignment.

Then I met Devlin and life
just got a whole lot better,

- and a little more complicated.
- [man] Can we get a close...?

- [man 2] How do we pan...?
- [man] Hit the second button.

Everybody warned me he was
unorthodox but he's irrational,
bordering on nutso.

[man 2] We'll just get...
That's it. There, yeah.
That's it, there.

- [man] Look at that.
- [man 2] Move it over a bit.

He's getting under
your skin, isn't he?
He got under my skin once,

and I'm still feeling it.

Yeah, you told me.
What about his English?

I can never understand
half of what he says,
but don't you love his accent?

- She can't hear anything?
- No, I don't think... Whoa!

God, I wish I was still
back in the field.

How do you like me now?

- She's got issues, man.
- [man] Holy...

- [man 2] Can your
girlfriend shoot...?
- [man] A groin out of a target?

Let's go.
Let's get our nails done.

- OK.
- [Steena] Have a nice day.

[woman on PA] Dr. Angelo,
Dr. Angelo...

They ran out of
"Get well soon."

You said to wear this,
but I don't know.

Being Clark Devlin
is not easy.

[phone rings]

- Hello.
- [Del] So, Mr. Devlin,

- how are you feeling today?
- Not so good, I'm afraid.

[Del] You've got a few hours
to pull yourself together.

- What do you mean?
- After the fiasco
of planting the bug,

I'd say we have
only one choice:

- Level One surveillance.
- In other words...

Infiltration. Banning's
at the Lanford Hotel

entertaining three of his
partners. Chalmers agreed to...

- ...get us at the next table.
- Is this a black-tie event?

No. But I'm sure you'll
wear whatever you want.

Maybe we can
find Walter Strider.

Meet you there at 8:00.

- [Devlin] Water... strider...
- What?

- Water...
- Mr. Clark Devlin.

Strider...

- What are you doing?
- Huh? Uh, he needs help.

Security! Security!

[¶ Etta James: At Last]

¶ At last

¶ My love has come along

¶ My lonely days are over

- Del Blaine.
- Hey.

I know how partial you
are to that monkey suit,
so I got gussied up.

Good job.
You gussy very well.

And here's a little
something for you.

Thank you. Sorry, I don't
have anything for you.

- It's a video camera.
- Shh. Act normal.

- We don't want
everybody to know.
- Sorry.

- Good evening.
- Good evening.

- Name, please.
- Name?

Um...

- Lincoln.
- [chuckles]

- Washington.
- [chuckles]

Washington.

You're a billionaire
and you try to grease the guy
with seven bucks?

- You think I have
money to throw away?
- You on the list?

- Perfect.
- Let me talk to him.

No. We'll do this
my way. I've got a T-135
disorientation module.

You just stand there.

Hi. Could you hold this
for me? Aw, thanks.

Now, where did I
put those tickets?

- What's happening, Snowman?
- What's happening?

- What's happening, Snowman?
- What's happening, Snowman?

Hey, what's happening?

Oh, hey.

I can't believe it. James Brown.
The Godfather of Soul.

- Hello.
- [Brown] What's happening?

Forgive us for bothering you.
We came to see your show and...

- She forgot to make
reservations.
- Don't worry about it.

- I can get tickets
for the front row.
- Oh! Thank you very much.

- See? The things work out.
- [Brown] One more thing
I'd like to say.

It's not the in thing
today to give compliments
to a young lady,

but I just got
to let you know that...

...you got a nice rack.

- Oh, thank you, Mr. Brown.
- Enjoy the show.

Whoa!

- What is wrong with you?!
- He fell down by himself.

- You killed James Brown.
- No, he's fine.

He's not fine.
And Banning is gonna leave.

Don't panic.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

- Are you... praying?
- Miss Cleo told me
this would happen.

- $4.99-a-minute Miss Cleo?
- Just go out and tell them

Mr. Brown is not here.
There will be another act.

Nice to meet you.

[man in distance]
And right about now,

- it is style time!
- [crowd cheering]

If you will, ladies
and gentlemen,

introducing the hardest-working
man in show business,

ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Dynamite, James Brown!

[cheering]

- Uh, ladies and gentleman...
- [man] What's going on?!

Mr. James Brown will not
be appearing tonight

due to unforeseen
circumstances,

but stay right where you are
because the Lanford Hotel

is really proud to present

the Last Emperor of Soul.

And, um, well,
here he is.

[crowd groaning]

Hi. Hi, everybody.
Good evening. [laughs]

- How are you tonight?!
- [man] Go home!

- [booing]
- [Jimmy] Who wants
to get funky tonight?!

- Go ahead and make it funky.
- Yeah.

[sings Get Up (I Feel Like
Being a Sex Machine)]

- ¶ Get up
- ¶ Get on up

- ¶ Get on up y'all
- ¶ Get on up

- ¶ Get on up
- ¶ Get on up

- ¶ Stay on the scene
- ¶ Get on up

- ¶ Like a sex machine
- ¶ Get on up

- ¶ Get on up
- ¶ Get on up

- ¶ Stay on the scene
- ¶ Get on up

- ¶ Like a sex machine
- ¶ Get on up

¶ Wait a minute
Shake your arm ¶

¶ Then use your form

¶ Stay on the scene
like a sex machine ¶

¶ You got to have the feelin'
Sure as you're born ¶

¶ Get it together
Right on, right on ¶

- ¶ Right on, right on
- Right on, right on!

- ¶ Right on, right on
- Right on, right on!

- ¶ Right on, right on
- Right on, right on!

- ¶ Right on, right on
- Right on, right on!

[crowd gasps]

[woman squeals]

[screams]

[cheering]

[muffled music, cheering]

Good God!

- So you had fun up there.
- Ugh. I was blending.

That's what agents do.
Would you please stop?

I'd like to get to Banning's
table before morning.

- Whoa! Hey, slut, thanks.
- I hate celebrities

- who brush off their fans.
- Banning's girlfriend
has been drinking.

- She might tell... Clark!
- Yes.

Stop. Get on the
scene, sex machine.

- [man] Great job, man.
- Hi.

- Hi. Good evening.
- Hello.

Well, we're all vaguely honored
you could join us, I suppose.

- Singing is my
favorite type of music.
- Admirable.

Regrettably, this is
my vacuous fiancйe.

I think her name
is Cheryl... something.

Charmed. I could
look at you all day.

You ever dance
unprofessionally... Emperor?

Let's see
what I can do.

- Oh. Excuse us.
- Of course.

[Latin music plays]

- Do you know how to mambo?
- I hope so.

[beeping]

Whoo!

[slow jazz plays]

Hm.

'92 Dasani. Gentle bouquet with
a hint of vinyl polychloride.

Earthy yet...
ethereal.

Cheers.

Oops. I spilled.

[Jimmy] You and Banning
seem very close.
Tell me about his work.

I don't want
to talk about him.

I want to talk about you.
You're such a handsome devil.

So are you.

[Banning] When I can't sleep
at night, which is quite often,

I step into my laboratory and I
play. It's not work, you see.

It's glorious,
wet... play.

Well, maybe I can
come over and play.

That would be
very nice.

The thing is I...

I have a small problem...
trusting people.

I don't know if I can trust
myself with you, Dietrich.

Well, maybe we can come up
with a way for you to pro...

Her name's Del Blaine.
She's CSA.

Oh, bloody hell.

He drives a BMW,
registered to Clark Devlin.

You told me you dealt with
Devlin with the skateboard bomb.

Yeah, well, he looks
pretty alive to me.

[man] Pretty good dancer.
All over Cheryl.
Want me to do something?

No. Maybe the rancid tart
might actually be
of some use for once.

[Banning] Get the boys,
would you?

Whoo! I am so bushed.

I'm sorry, you'll
have to excuse me.
Unfortunate interruptus.

So my long streak of love,
here is the key
to the hospitality suite

should you feel the need
to spend the night. Goodbye.

Well, I think I'll just go up
to room 72... excuse me... 68,

and take a long,
hot bath in room 7268.

- Good night.
- Good night.

[chuckles]

And once again,
we end up with nothing.

- I can get her to talk.
- And say what?

Oh, Emperor, would you
sign my bra? Oops!
I'm not wearing one.

What is it with you and bras?
She has information.

Oh, right, and that's why you
have to go up to her hotel room.

You have never seen
my work. This is what
Clark Devlin does best.

- Can I go home?
- No, you have to cover me.

- With what, a
shot of penicillin?
- Huh?

Fine. I'll be
waiting by the pool.

Oh, wait. What's her
room number again?

- 7268.
- 7268, 7268...

[¶ Lou Rawls: You'll Never
Find Another Love Like Mine]

Yoo-hoo!

Cheryl!

[Cheryl] Hey, you little
devil. What kind of
bubbles do you like?

Little or big?

Hang it for me, will you?

So I know you can dance,
but what else can you do?

Get on the bed.
I'll show you.

[laughs] Oh!

OK, Mr. Devlin,
let's see your magic.

[Cheryl on speaker] Oh!
Oh, my God, your hands
are like a machine.

I am never working
with him again.

So tell me about Dietrich's
good friend, Walter Strider.

Oh! Never heard of him,
but I know Dry Martini.

Maybe someone should mix us
a couple. Y-O-U spells "you".

Oh.

- You're smart.
- [Cheryl] Really?

- And a good speller.
- [laughs] Thanks.

I graduated top two-thirds
of my sixth grade class.

What a gentleman.

Look, it's
Cocktail Barbie.

- Take your clothes off
and stay.
- I like my clothes on.

- Kinky boy.
- Where did you get that pin?

[Cheryl] Oh, Dietrich.

Want to have
a closer look?

I'm sorry. Look at
the time. I got to go.

Oh, Emperor.
[screeches, laughs]

- Where are you going?
Oh, Emperor!
- What are you doing?

Where are you going,
you naughty boy?

I adore romance
when it's rough.

[both yelling]

Get back here!
You're dead meat! Come on!

[both yelling]

- [giggling]
- [panting]

- Take a bath.
- Yes, because I've been
a dirty, dirty girl.

- Go fill the tub.
- Like it with bubbles?

- Hot bubbles.
- Oh, yippee! [screeching]

¶ Tiny bubbles
in the wine ¶

¶ Make me feel fine

Come on, her voice
reminds me of my mother.

[Cheryl] Is that room service?

[beeping]

What's happening?

[Cheryl] What's going
on under those cute
little boxers of yours?

- Yah!
- Oh!

[Cheryl] Emperor,
the bubbles are perfect.

- Come to mama, Emperor!
- Coming!

Oh!

[Del] Help!

[beeping]

[man] Say good night...
agent!

Del Blaine. Del Blaine.

[man screaming]

Sorry.

- [Cheryl] Emperor!
- This is not
what I signed up for!

- She's taking a bath.
- What happened to your nose?

[gasping]

- Sorry!
- Honeymooners.

- Yes, some things
never change. Ooo.
- Emperor!

Emperor, come back!
Please!

Go! Get going.

[Del] Ouch!
Can't you do anything?

- Why are you so mad?
- Gee, let me think.

Because big, ugly men
are trying to kill me?

Because I got stuck
with a millionaire playboy
dilettante for a partner?

You don't care
how you make people feel.

I happen to be an extremely
sensitive person.

OK, you think you
know feelings. Look at me.

How do I feel?

- Sick.
- Sad.

What about now?

Constipated.

- Creepy.
- Horny.

[laughs] Is funny.

Is angry.

Is crazy.
You know nothing.

This is why you don't
have a boyfriend.

No wonder you didn't get
anything from Banning.

Oh. Right, I didn't
get anything from Banning,

- except where
his friggin' lab is.
- Where?

Let's see if the great
master agent can figure it out.

- Banning said he sometimes
has trouble sleeping.
- Big secret.

- All men have trouble sleeping.
- Sometimes, at night,

- he goes down
and works in his lab.
- He sleeps in his lab?

- He sleeps in his bedroom.
- His lab's in his bedroom?

- No.
- Get your facts straight.

His lab is at his house,

his casa,
where he lives, get it?

Excellent.

You passed the test.
I put in a good word
with the boss.

- Let's go see Chalmers tonight.
- No. Keep him out of this.

- Just you and me.
- If you're so good at this,

- tell me something
about me.
- OK.

You have big
crush on me,

and I know your name
is Del Blaine.

First of all,
you wish,

and... my real name
is Delilah.

Delilah?

Suits you.

Hey!

[moaning]

- Oh, Emperor!
- [Jimmy] Hey!

Oh, God, Clark,
isn't anything sacred?

- Ow! Rug burns are so sexy!
- It's the driver.

- Thank you. Invitations?
- Oh, yes.

Why don't you
offer him five bucks?

I have them somewhere.

Nice party, huh?

[Del] So you're the strong,
silent type? That's the
whole bouncer package.

[beeping]

- I didn't mean your package.
- Thank you, Dr. Schwartz.

Shalom.
Come, darling.

Product launch, my ass.
Let's go find Banning's lab.

[¶ Deep Swing: In The Music]

¶ In the music
In the music ¶

¶ In the music
In the music ¶

Let's go.

¶ In the music
In the music ¶

¶ In the music

¶ In the music
In the music ¶

¶ In the music
In the music ¶

[Del] Are you trying to get
me alone? Where'd they go?

Don't tell me the great
Clark Devlin can't
come up with an answer.

Although, he can
walk on water.

It's a trick, right?

[machinery whirring]

Come on.

- Wow! Mr. Devlin
likes insects, too.
- [Del] What?

Oh. I mean, sometimes I speak
of myself in the third person.

Del Blaine thinks
you're a freak.

[man] Have you
cleaned the tanks?

- [Jimmy] What are they doing?
- [Del] I don't know.

When you're done here, sweep the
tunnels. Don't use the blower!

I can tell the difference.
Don't touch the tequila
for me and Mr. Banning.

- Whatever you say.
- Yes.

- Louder!
- [both] Yes, Dr. Simms.

We better hope the
little ones follow the queen.

If they don't the stock
is gonna be worthless.

- Follow the queen?
- Have you seen Cheryl?

- Maybe he's gay.
- Cheryl? No.

[man] Man, let's get out of
here. Let's go have a smoke.

Hey. How did you...?

Whatever.

[Jimmy] Look at this.

- [air hissing]
- [beeping]

He's pinpointed the
national reservoirs.

[Jimmy] He's going to
poison the water?

Not with that stuff.
It's too detectable

and there's
government safeguards.

Let's check out
the computer.

Now, you're thinking.

- Who are they?
- They shouldn't be in the lab.

Let's go.

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, your God what?

[Del] DNA recombinant microbes
carrying a T-4 genome.

English.

Genetically induced
hydrogen-oxygen barrier.

- Normal person's English.
- [Del] Dehydrating water.

Drink it, you'll
shrivel up and die.

The big question is,
how is he gonna

introduce it
into the water supply?

- [door opening]
- I think we better go.

Quick, over there
by the wall.

- Nobody here.
- Let's check the hatchery.

[Del] You're on my foot.

- What was that about?
- Shh. Go!

How did they miss us?
Are they blind?

Don't look up my skirt.

[¶ PM Dawn:
Set Adrift on Memory Bliss]

¶ Baby you send me

¶ Baby you send me

¶ Set adrift on
memory bliss of you ¶

¶ The camera pans
the cocktail glass ¶

¶ Behind a blind
of plastic plants ¶

¶ I found the lady
with the fat diamond ring ¶

¶ Then, you know
I can't remember a damn thing ¶

Banning's got the bacteria,
but has to transport it

- from his lab to the water.
There's no way he can.
- Maybe with airplanes.

Not possible. Besides,
even if he could get it
to a reservoir undetected,

an alarm would trigger the
second the surface is broken.

You're really smart.

It's an act. I'm an
inexperienced girl

- who's trying to
bluff her way through.
- You are?

Come on, stop humoring me.
Just be honest.

Honest? All right. You think
I'm the great Clark Devlin.

[phone ringing]

Yeah, hello?

Steena, I can't
talk right now.

Yeah. Yeah,
I can handle it.

- Bad news?
- Can we go somewhere
and be alone?

Sure.

- I didn't know you
were so strong.
- Take off your clothes.

- Let's not do
anything we'll regret.
- Take off your clothes.

- What's happening?
- I knew the second I met you

you weren't Clark Devlin.
Take off the tuxedo,
it doesn't belong to you

I wanted to tell you,
but I just didn't know how.

- Take off your clothes.
What is that?
- [toilet flushing]

- Hey! You, out here!
- OK.

- Take the clothes.
- OK.

Slow down. My name is Jimmy
Tong. I'm Mr. Devlin's driver.

He asked me to
find Walter Strider.

I don't want to hear your lies.
Give me the watch and the shoes.

Where's Clark? How'd you
think you were gonna
get away with this?

Things happened.
I decided to go with the flow.

- What about the underwear?
- They're mine.

I mean, my roommate.

Jimmy. Suits you.

These are my
roommate's, too.

Go finish your business.

Excuse me.

- Have you seen the Emperor?
- No.

[¶ Cosmic Gate:
Exploration of Space]

Impolite to leave without
saying "goodbye" to the host.

- I was looking for Dietrich.
- I'll take you to him.

- Like a big terrier
with a little rat.
- She was down in the lab.

At least your interest
in water was genuine.

Look, I'm here because
of you. You wanted to know
if I could be trusted?

I bet this tux
is just your size.

Thank you.

[beeping]

We got a positive location
on Blaine, sir.

- [man on radio]
How long till we get to her?
- Twenty minutes.

I've transmitted
the coordinates.

[Jimmy] Dear Mr. Devlin,

I did the best I could,
but it wasn't good enough.

I did not find Walter Strider
for you. I also
lost your tuxedo.

I'm sure you will
get it back.

I guess I will go back to being
what I was before I met you.

Water strider.

Water strider.
Water strider! Stupid!

- [Banning] My beautiful
little darlings.
- [Del] Gerris maginatus.

Species native
to Southeast Asia. Commonly
known as the water strider.

Walter Strider.

Yes, the water strider.
Very good. Very good.

Well, it's brilliant.
They touch down
on the reservoirs.

Their little feet transfer
deadly bacteria without
breaking the surface

so no alarms sound, and it
looks like a nasty
little trick of nature.

Fortunately, there is one
drinkable water source.

- Yours.
- [laughs]

Dietrich, you're a genius.
Too bad it won't work.

Oh! You so wrong.
Wrong! Wrong! Wrong.

It will work because my plan
is perfect. Sorry, Mr. Banning,

it's your plan...
and mine. It's ours.

- Shut up. Explain.
- Oh. Alrighty.

The life cycle of the Gerris
maginatus begins with mating,

something Dr. Simms is not
personally familiar with.

Anyhoo, the insects
swarm to fresh water,

where fertilized eggs are
then deposited on the
underside of lotus leaves

- and hatch into larvae.
- Spare me the
Discovery Channel blather.

- Tell me why it won't work.
- Yes, tell us.

Why it won't work? This is the
northern hemisphere, correct?

You incubated insects native
to the southern hemisphere.

So, simply, it is too cold
for them to mature sexually,

much like Simms here.

Therefore, they won't mate.
Therefore, they won't
seek out water.

- Is this true?
- No.

I knew a girl once, in college,
quite well. Very well.

- And then you
remember cousin Doris?
- No, Simms, the bugs.

The bugs. Oh! You're not
gonna believe this hoochie,

- are you, Mr. Banning?
- Oh, yeah?

Ask him if I lied
about the tuxedo.

This tuxedo is...
It's all right. It's...

All right? That is the
most incredible piece of
technology on the planet.

And I am laying it
in your big, hot hands.

- Mr. Banning, release the bugs.
- Go ahead.
Do what he tells you.

You might have a chance
at second prize at a
junior high science fair,

but you can forget your
dreams of world domination.

Slip into it, Dietrich.
See how it feels.

[Devlin] The other
ten percent's in there.
You've got plenty of it.

Hey, Dr. Schwartz.

Tell your boss
Clark Devlin is back.

Drapes nicely.

[beeping]

It certainly puts
a spring in one's step.

Happy to have
lightened your loafers.

One question:
why are you doing this?

[alarm blaring]

- What the hell is this?
- This is the moment where
50 CSA commandos storm in,

take you, your pretentious
accent, your jackass sideburns

to the Federal pen
where, guess what?

All they serve is highly
chlorinated tap water.

- Presenting Clark Devlin.
- [groaning]

Have I told you how amazing
you look in this tuxedo?

- Simms, prepare for release.
- With pleasure, sir.

[computerized female voice]
Hatchery doors opening.
Water sources targeted.

Pods will begin releasing
striders in five minutes.

- [beeping]
- Maturation level 85 percent.

- Why are you here?
- I've come to save you.

Great. What about the big guys
with the big guns? [gasps]

- Ah!
- For years,
I've heard about you.

Now we finally meet, I find
that the great Clark Devlin

is nothing more
than an ordinary man
who's about to die

- an extraordinary death.
- You're right...

...except for one thing.
My name's Tong.

James Tong.

Whoa!

- You OK?
- Uh, Jimmy, something
you want to tell me?

Later.

Oh. You've got
a good suit as well.

All right!

Let go!

Ah!

Ah! [screaming]

- [grunts]
- Ah!

[electric fizzling]

[female voice] X-4 genome
bacteria-induced water striders
100 percent mature.

Bacteria drop sites identified.
Pods now opening.

What are you doing?!
No! No!

She's ruining everything.

[female voice]
Electrical malfunction.
Hatchery doors disengaged.

- Ah! I knew girls
like you in high school.
- Yeah? Did they do this?

Mm-hm. They did.

[Simms] Mr. Banning, you
must open the hatch manually.

- Sod off.
- [female voice] Manual hatch
release required.

Manual hatch release required.

- [grunting]
- Rotate valve counterclockwise
to open hatch.

[grunting]

[Banning] Get off.

Bloody open!

[female voice] Manual
procedure complete.

Hatchery doors opening.

Airborne striders
awaiting queen release.

[house music plays]

[female voice] Hatchery
doors opening.

Clark! I mean,
Jimmy, help me!

I'm busy.

[female voice] Mature striders
ready for release.

Bacteria-laced microbes
fully activated.

[choking]

His head's about to explode.
Look at him.

Look at him!

You might know a few tricks, but
you're just a sad, pathetic man.

Ah!

Smoking is bad
for your health.

- You OK?
- Yeah, duh.
By the way, nice going.

Millions of people
are gonna die of dehydration.
You left the hatch open.

[Jimmy] They're not
flying away.

- What are they waiting for?
- They are waiting
to follow the queen.

[female voice]
Airborne striders
awaiting queen release.

[Del] Oh, my God.
For once, you're right.

The queen is gonna
lead the striders

to freshwater sites
all over North America.

Quick, grab it
before it's released.

[female voice] Queen strider
disengaged. Alert!

- Queen strider disengaged.
- [alarm blaring]

Let's go.

- [shouting]
- Oh!

[Del yelps]

You dropped it.

[whimpers]

Don't move!

Ah!

Ooh!

[muffled scream]

[giggling]

[buzzing]

- Ow.
- [neck cracks]

[screaming]

[gagging]

[loud buzzing]

Sir, excuse me,
I deserve to see this.

[groans]

[alarm blaring]

Trouble.

OK, OK, make hustle, ladies.
Let's go. Let's go.

Watch out, Aqua Lung.

Hey, pal, nice suit.

It's OK. Everything's
gonna be all right.

It's not OK.
You just decked the hero.

I'm a genius and I can testify
for a piece of immunity.

- Also, I'm from
a neutral country...
- Shut it.

Looks like we
got here just in time.

- To what? Take credit?
- You're hilarious, Blaine.

Winton Chalmers, CSA.
I spearheaded the operation
that took down Banning.

- I bet you're Jimmy Tong.
- Here's your tuxedo.
You happy now?

I will be when I get it
safely back to headquarters.

By the way, Blaine,
not a bad job for your
first time in the field.

- I didn't do it alone.
- She always says
nice things about me.

You finally do something right,
you deserve the credit.

Well, sir, it's an honor to help
the United States of America.

I feel exactly
the same way, soldier.

Don't think you're
gonna be able to get away

with a bureaucratic
pat on the butt, do you?

- Well, I'm hoping to.
- [laughing]

Ooh! Man down, people.

Well... there is one thing
you can do for me.

- And that would be?
- [Steena] Tracking systems
locked on.

Anybody screws up,
your ass is mine.

- Block off this end
of the street.
- [man] Roger.

T minus 30 and counting.
Is everyone in position?

[man on radio]
Manhole agent up.

[woman] Flower lady,
hot dog vendor, go.

[Steena] Replace hot dog vendor.
Come on, hustle. Let's go.

[man 2 on radio] Bird Three,
the street is secure. Uh-oh.
Bike messenger.

[Steena] Hostile forces
moving in. Go on, take him out.

[man 3 on radio]
T-14 descending.

[man 4 on radio] Advance
operation vehicle.

[Steena] Bring in the package
as soon as I cross.

- [man] Roger that.
- [Steena] Hustle, people.

[man] The package
is on the move.

All right,
it's show time.

- How's our package?
- I forget what to say.

But you can do this.
Focus. Go. Go.

- [man] Package dropped.
- [man 2] Roger. Target locked.

Jimmy, what do you say?

The name's Tong.

James Tong.

I'm the man.
I'm the man.

- [Steena] Del, you tell
him to say that?
- [Del] No. Well, sort of.

- [Steena] Oh, God.
- [Devlin] Ladies, relax.

- He's pumping out pheromones.
- [Steena] Shut up.

- [Devlin] I'm in charge.
- [Steena] Package is locked on
target.

Why did you
wear those pants?

- [Devlin] He's stopping.
- [Del] What for?

[Devlin] Use the door, Jimmy.

- [man] He's breathing heavy.
- [man 2] Seen her?

[man] He's out of his league,
if you know what l mean.

- [Devlin] A hunter.
- [man] Gallery owner.

- [Steena] Quiet.
- [Del] Nice.

- [Steena] Clark, focus.
- He's about to speak.

- Open your mouth.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- That's the girl?

- She's not that pretty.
- [Steena] Jimmy,
smile, come on.

- [Devlin] Move on, quick.
- He doesn't look so good.

- Doesn't look so good.
- Doesn't look so good.

- Doesn't look so good.
- Give him a line.

- Steena, shut up.
- [Devlin] Look deep
into her eyes...

- [Del] Clark, no.
- [man] He's hyperventilating.

- Don't listen. Listen to me.
- I can't think with you
screaming in my ear.

- [Steena] Everybody calm down.
- Not you, her.

- No, no, her, her.
- Look deep into her eyes,

and tell her you had
a dream about her last night.

- Be quiet.
- Del, will you shut up?

Uh...

I hate to say, but don't take
advice from women about women.

- [Del] Shut up.
- The voice is
screaming in my ear.

If you can hear me,
wipe that look off your face.

Remember me? Hooters.
Soul patch.

OK, I'm gonna have to
ask you to leave.

- I'm the love of my life...
- [Devlin] No, no!

You're the love
of my life.

[Devlin] Never tell
them you love them.

Can you have
dinner with me?

Get out.

Pretty sure
he crapped his pants.

[Jimmy] I just want
to have dinner.

- Get out now.
- [Jimmy] Lunch?

- Now!
- Oh!

[Steena] We're
terminating this mission.

Pack it up
and roll home.

- I think I blew it, Mr. Devlin.
- I wrote the book
on this stuff.

You didn't blow it.
You outgrew her.

- Maybe.
- [Devlin] Tell you what.

Take the weekend off.
Monday, we'll head somewhere
with interesting prospects.

- How about Monte Carlo?
- Sounds good.
Thanks, Mr. Devlin.

- Thanks, everybody.
- [man] It's OK, Jimmy.

- Hang in there.
- [man 2] Next time.

Well, if you were trying
to get her to notice you,

mission accomplished.

What are you planning
for the second date?
Running at her with a knife?

- It's difficult for me.
- What is so hard?

You just have to say
something like, "You want
to go get some coffee?"

When I around beautiful
women, I can't talk.

- Sure. Beautiful women.
- You know, a real knockout.

- Like the beautiful lady
in the gallery.
- Thank you very much.

- What's wrong?
- Nothing.

- What?
- You can't tell how I feel?

- You look sad.
- No.

- Sick?
- No.

- Constipated?
- No.

- A little.
- Tell me, what's wrong?

It's just no guy would ever
do anything for me
like what you did for her.

- Or tried to do.
- You know why?

Because you are
a pain in the butt.

Yeah, nice working
with you, too.

Hello. Delilah, excuse me.

You want to have a coffee?

I only drink
organic green tea.

Eh! Wrong answer. You're
never gonna have a boyfriend.

Fine. Coffee.

- I love coffee.
- You learn quick.

Is that your happy face
or your horny face?

I tell you later.

[¶ James Brown: Get Up (I Feel
Like Being a Sex Machine)]

¶ Get up now

James. James Tong...
[laughing]

[man] Cut.

Uh...

Couldn't tell you
what I'm about to say.

- [man] Purse!
- [laughter]

I'm sorry.

Uh?

[laughter]

The bird
hit the guy.

- Huh?
- [woman] Is this
a bunch of crap?

Is this a bunch crap?

- [woman] Bunch of crap.
- OK.

You think I'm speak
very good English?

What's in your head
flies out your mouth.

What's in your head fly
from your mouth.
What's in your mouth...

- [man] That's OK. Cut.
- No wonder.

This is why you
don't have a boyfriend.

- That's...
- [laughter]

That's...
thought...

- Frog?
- Fraud.

[laughing]

Look at her ugly face.
Every time I look...

Every time,
she just like this.

How can I act?

- Can we do a single on me?
- No.

[mumbling] Ah!

No, no, no. Cut! Cut!

- They'll take us to the lab.
- Who?

[laughing]

- Let's... [laughing]
- Cut.

I got the happy
partner over here.

Jimmy. What do you...?
[laughing]

She smile the whole movie.
Waste of film, waste of time.

What is she doing?

- ¶ Hit me
- Oh, no!

You're fast.

But I'm faster.

[Brown] Good God!