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0
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:21,510
[Coughing]
1
00:00:21,621 --> 00:00:23,521
Yeah, I'm sick.
[Clearing Throat]
2
00:00:23,623 --> 00:00:25,716
I'm sick as a dog.
3
00:00:25,825 --> 00:00:28,658
I can't even taste my cigar.
4
00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:31,959
You know what?
I didn't even see it comin'.
5
00:00:32,065 --> 00:00:35,000
How could I?
Man, I ain't been sick in years.
6
00:00:35,101 --> 00:00:38,070
The last time I was sick,
the Ohio Players had a hit.
7
00:00:38,171 --> 00:00:40,366
? Roller coaster...?
You know.
8
00:00:40,473 --> 00:00:43,465
?? [Hums]
You know.
9
00:00:43,576 --> 00:00:46,238
It's those doggone kids.
Oh, I know what you're sayin'.
10
00:00:46,346 --> 00:00:50,612
"Bernie Mac, kids so cute and cuddly."
Not to me.
11
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:55,051
They're nasty, dirty,
disease-carrying midgets, like rats.
12
00:00:55,155 --> 00:00:58,682
Only different... no tails,
and their teeth not as sharp.
13
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:01,625
Hey, the only reason
I'm talkin' about 'em so bad...
14
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:05,255
is because
they ruined my plan.
15
00:01:05,365 --> 00:01:09,062
All I wanted to do
was to go to Vegas.
16
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,997
- [Laughing]
- Y'�ll tryin' to box, man?
17
00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:15,870
- You got kids now.
- Bernie, I'm goin' to bed.
18
00:01:15,975 --> 00:01:18,239
- Oh. Showtime over.
- No, no, no, no.
19
00:01:18,344 --> 00:01:20,244
I'm goin' to bed
because I'm tired.
20
00:01:20,346 --> 00:01:22,541
You finish up your game,
Mr. Bachelor.
21
00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:24,640
And when you become
a daddy again...
22
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:28,118
don't forget to mail those invitations
for Bryana's birthday party.
23
00:01:28,221 --> 00:01:30,985
- Drop it like it's hot, baby.
- Ooh.
24
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:33,059
- Birthday party?
- Yeah.
25
00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:35,423
- It's over for you, man.
- What you mean by that?
26
00:01:35,528 --> 00:01:37,496
- You ain't comin' to Vegas.
- What?
27
00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:41,624
You got kids with germs and all kinds
of craziness comin' in your house.
28
00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:43,634
First of all, man,
it ain't even like that.
29
00:01:43,736 --> 00:01:45,704
My immune system
got me through the '80s.
30
00:01:45,805 --> 00:01:47,500
- [Laughing]
- Okay?
31
00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:50,838
- And second of all, man, Bernie Mac don't get sick.
- Yeah.
32
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:54,573
- Yeah, hey, Bernie Mac don't get sick.
- Huh!
33
00:01:54,681 --> 00:01:57,809
- Tell 'em, big fella.
- Oh, really? Ten bucks...
34
00:01:57,917 --> 00:02:00,385
says super Mac gets sick.
35
00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:02,682
- You playin' with your light bill, huh?
- Oh! Hey!
36
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:04,689
Wait a minute.
I got a little action on that.
37
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:08,818
Twenty bucks say Bernie Mac don't
make it to Vegas because he's sick, huh?
38
00:02:08,928 --> 00:02:14,093
First of all... hold it... you always cosign
everything this brother say... all the time.
39
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,100
Second of all,
it's not even like that.
40
00:02:16,202 --> 00:02:18,568
It's gonna be a family thing.
A small...
41
00:02:18,671 --> 00:02:22,368
A few of Bryana's friends gonna be over.
That's it. That's all.
42
00:02:25,845 --> 00:02:27,904
- Mr. Mac? Hi!
- Yes?
43
00:02:28,014 --> 00:02:29,914
- Sorry to bother you.
- Hi.
44
00:02:30,016 --> 00:02:32,348
Bryana tells me
that she's having a party...
45
00:02:32,452 --> 00:02:34,750
and that you wouldn't let her
invite her whole class.
46
00:02:34,854 --> 00:02:37,550
Bryana, you said that?
You rat on me like that?
47
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:40,956
- I didn't say that, ma'�m. No, I didn't.
- You can't do that.
48
00:02:41,060 --> 00:02:43,028
- Pardon?
- If you invite one child from the class...
49
00:02:43,129 --> 00:02:45,029
you have to invite
the whole class.
50
00:02:45,131 --> 00:02:47,065
But you knew that,
right?
51
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,499
So you're saying
that if I invite one child...
52
00:02:49,602 --> 00:02:51,502
I have to invite
all these germy, nasty...
53
00:02:51,604 --> 00:02:54,698
filthy little kids
to the party, right?
54
00:02:54,807 --> 00:02:57,867
- [Laughing]
- Yeah.
55
00:02:57,977 --> 00:03:00,104
Oh, right, right.
56
00:03:00,213 --> 00:03:02,738
Listen, I took the liberty
of inviting everyone for you.
57
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:04,817
Okay?
58
00:03:06,252 --> 00:03:09,016
"Took the liberty..."
Fine. They all can come.
59
00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:11,022
But I'm gonna
tell you one thing.
60
00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:13,558
If one of those kids cough
and doesn't cover their mouth...
61
00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:16,220
I should have the right
to pop 'em upside the head.
62
00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:18,229
Hold on.
I didn't say I would do it.
63
00:03:18,331 --> 00:03:23,268
- I said I should have the right.
Puttin' these nasty germs on me.
- [Toots]
64
00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:26,270
?? [R& B]
65
00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:30,672
Bryana's told me so much
about your Kristen.
66
00:03:30,777 --> 00:03:32,677
We'll have to get together
for lunch sometime.
67
00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:35,475
Oh, I would love that.
That would be good, yeah.
68
00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:40,241
?? [Continues]
69
00:03:51,531 --> 00:03:55,524
- ? Roller coaster oflove?
- ? Say what?
70
00:03:55,635 --> 00:03:58,126
- There you go.
- Achoo!
71
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:03,437
? Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo
Roller coaster oflove?
72
00:04:03,543 --> 00:04:07,001
? Roller coaster?
73
00:04:07,113 --> 00:04:09,104
Sweetheart, let me get this
right here. Thank you.
74
00:04:09,215 --> 00:04:11,877
I think everybody's ready
for cake now, Bernie.
75
00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:17,218
- ? Roller coaster?
- The name is Mr. Mac to you, son, okay? Say it.
76
00:04:17,323 --> 00:04:18,688
- Mr. Mac.
- Thank you.
77
00:04:18,791 --> 00:04:20,816
Whoo! One more!
One more! One more!
78
00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:26,297
- [All Cheering]
- ? Roller coaster, Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo?
79
00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:29,163
- Okay, get over there.
- Can I do it?
80
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,169
Yeah, go ahead.
Give your girlfriend a high five.
81
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:35,571
There you go. There you go,
Bryana and Lori. Okay.
82
00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:37,666
- Hit it! Hit it! Oh!
- Whoo!
83
00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:40,678
[People Whooping]
84
00:04:48,421 --> 00:04:50,582
- Here come the cake.
- [Kids Cheering]
85
00:04:50,690 --> 00:04:52,590
Cake time!
86
00:04:52,692 --> 00:04:55,058
? Well, well?
87
00:04:55,161 --> 00:04:57,129
? Hey?
88
00:04:58,431 --> 00:05:01,059
- ? Roller coaster oflove?
- ? Say what?
89
00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:03,499
Step up and blow 'em out, baby girl.
Blow 'em out!
90
00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:07,198
- ? Roller coaster Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo?
- ? Love roller coaster?
91
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,367
- ? Roller coaster oflove??
- [Applause]
92
00:05:14,847 --> 00:05:17,816
[Kids Coughing]
93
00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:22,221
[Coughing Intensifies]
94
00:05:23,856 --> 00:05:26,825
[Coughing Continues]
95
00:05:44,110 --> 00:05:46,601
[Gagging]
96
00:05:46,713 --> 00:05:49,580
Oh, Lord Jesus, no.
97
00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:51,582
- Bernie?
- Huh?
98
00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:54,209
- What's wrong?
- Baby, don't go in there, please.
99
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:56,720
- Oh, Bernie.
- They got Ebola.
100
00:05:58,057 --> 00:05:59,957
I know what's goin' on.
Come here.
101
00:06:01,994 --> 00:06:04,326
See, they got sick on purpose.
102
00:06:04,430 --> 00:06:08,594
Doin' everything they can
to keep me from goin' to Vegas.
103
00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:12,137
Probably was Vanessa's idea.
Mm-hmm.
104
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:17,609
Hmm. 101!
105
00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:20,543
My poor babies.
Bernie, would you help me here?
106
00:06:20,646 --> 00:06:22,807
Mm-mm... Uh, yeah.
107
00:06:22,915 --> 00:06:25,509
- Take your temperature, boy.
- I feel great!
108
00:06:25,618 --> 00:06:27,813
- Are you sure?
- Mm-hmm.
109
00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:29,820
If you're not gonna come here,
run Jordan to school...
110
00:06:29,922 --> 00:06:31,822
and I'll stay here with the girls
till you get back.
111
00:06:31,924 --> 00:06:35,985
Okay. Come on, boy.
Makin' me miss Regis and Kelly.
112
00:06:36,095 --> 00:06:38,791
- You know I like to watch TV this time of day.
- Sorry.
113
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:41,833
? It's a beautiful morn?
114
00:06:41,934 --> 00:06:44,061
?? [Whistling]
115
00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:46,365
- Uh-oh.
- What, you forgot somethin'?
116
00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:50,306
- [Jordan Vomiting]
- Oh, Lord Jesus, no!
117
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:54,176
Jordan, don't lay in it!
Stop layin' in it!
118
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:58,148
I'm talkin' about
20-02 Escalade.
119
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:01,812
Cadillac.
You'd be mad too.
120
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:05,880
Still had the new car smell
and everything.
121
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:09,223
Plush interior,
calf leather seats.
122
00:07:09,328 --> 00:07:12,195
Diamond in the back.
You know the rest.
123
00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:21,440
[Water Spraying]
124
00:07:25,411 --> 00:07:29,211
Little liar.
Said he didn't eat my pork chop.
125
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:36,220
That's my boy.
126
00:07:36,322 --> 00:07:38,756
Take it like a man!
Like a man!
127
00:07:38,858 --> 00:07:40,951
Go ahead.
128
00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:44,291
Make fun of me. Say I look silly.
[Chuckles]
129
00:07:44,397 --> 00:07:46,957
So what?
Sticks and stones may...
130
00:07:47,066 --> 00:07:50,194
[Jordan]
Uncle Bernie, I'm cold!
131
00:07:51,237 --> 00:07:53,467
I'll be right back.
132
00:07:53,573 --> 00:07:57,475
Uncle Bernie...
Uncle Bernie, I'm cold.
133
00:07:57,577 --> 00:08:00,637
You ain't cold, boy. That's just
your chill fightin' your fever.
134
00:08:00,746 --> 00:08:03,738
Yeah, okay.
135
00:08:07,019 --> 00:08:09,715
[Grunting]
Yeah, where was I?
136
00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:12,347
Oh, yeah. Sticks and stones.
[Chuckles]
137
00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:15,325
I bet you won't be laughin' at me
when I be in Vegas...
138
00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:17,396
chillin' at the roulette table.
139
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,397
I bet you that.
I bet you won't be...
140
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:22,798
[Muffled] Uncle Bernie,
you left the thermometer in my mouth!
141
00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:26,304
Hold on one minute.
142
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:35,178
- That's a good look for you.
- Actually, I got it from your Aunt Wanda, baby...
143
00:08:35,281 --> 00:08:37,442
if it's any of your business.
144
00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:49,356
Okay, here you go.
Here you go, my man.
145
00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:52,056
Would you tell him
to get me a juice?
146
00:08:52,164 --> 00:08:54,792
Uncle Bernie,
could you get Vanessa a juice?
147
00:08:54,901 --> 00:08:57,631
I'm sittin' right here. Why didn't you
ask me when I was in here a minute ago?
148
00:08:57,737 --> 00:09:00,706
Tell him I
wasn't thirsty then.
149
00:09:00,806 --> 00:09:04,105
- She said she wasn't thirsty then.
- I heard her.
150
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:07,771
Ask her, what did I do to her
to make her talk to me like she do?
151
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,848
What? You can't talk to me directly?
152
00:09:09,949 --> 00:09:12,782
- You're the one talkin' to your brother.
- I'm just messin' with you.
153
00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,785
[Muttering]
154
00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:18,482
Damn, girl, you make me sick every
doggone day. You make me sick!
155
00:09:20,459 --> 00:09:22,359
[Panting]
156
00:09:22,461 --> 00:09:25,953
- Oh, boy. You...
- [Jordan] Uncle Bernie, I need a cough drop!
157
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:28,329
[Vanessa]
And ask him where myjuice is!
158
00:09:28,434 --> 00:09:30,732
[Jordan]
Where's Vanessa's juice?
159
00:09:31,771 --> 00:09:33,796
A few minutes.
160
00:09:38,444 --> 00:09:40,742
Juice!
161
00:09:40,846 --> 00:09:43,314
Hey, wait.
Where's my cough drop?
162
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:46,180
Oh, man!
163
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:50,181
[Distorted]
Oh, no!
164
00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:02,461
[Panting, Chuckles]
165
00:10:02,568 --> 00:10:06,800
Yeah, I know what you're thinkin'.
"Bernie, why you so dramatic?"
166
00:10:06,906 --> 00:10:12,071
Dramatic? If you never been to Vegas
with the boys, I can't explain it to you.
167
00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:14,612
Only thing I can say to you...
Viva Las Vegas, baby!
168
00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:19,242
[Bryana] Uncle Bernie,
I had a B.M., and I threw up!
169
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:21,252
Oh, I'm sick of this.
170
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:25,723
[Sighs] Ooh.
[Mutters]
171
00:10:25,825 --> 00:10:27,759
That's most of it.
172
00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:29,760
Now for you.
173
00:10:29,862 --> 00:10:32,660
Hop in the tub
so I can hose you down.
174
00:10:40,673 --> 00:10:43,767
[Sighs]
Ready for the day, Bernie.
175
00:10:43,876 --> 00:10:45,867
Ah. Ah.
176
00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:47,878
Tongue's same color.
177
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:50,278
Lymph "nods"
really looking good.
178
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:52,977
Eyes not bloodshot.
Good boy. Good boy. [Kisses]
179
00:10:53,085 --> 00:10:55,576
- ? Who's the man You're the man?
- [Snapping Fingers]
180
00:10:55,688 --> 00:10:58,589
? Strong, healthy black man?
[Grunts]
181
00:10:58,691 --> 00:11:02,183
?? [Humming]
182
00:11:02,294 --> 00:11:06,321
? Time to celebrate
Celebrate?
183
00:11:06,432 --> 00:11:08,957
? Bernie Mac goin' to Vegas?
184
00:11:09,068 --> 00:11:10,968
? Goin' to Vegas?
185
00:11:11,070 --> 00:11:14,096
? What you gonna eat?
?? [Humming]
186
00:11:14,206 --> 00:11:17,141
? Somethin' healthy
Hell, no?
187
00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:20,269
?? [Humming Continues]
188
00:11:20,379 --> 00:11:22,904
? Cake, cake?
189
00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:25,848
? What you gonna eat?
[Grunts]
190
00:11:25,951 --> 00:11:28,112
? What you gonna eat
Somethin' healthy?
191
00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:32,281
- ? Birthday cake??
- ? Roller coaster oflove?
192
00:11:32,391 --> 00:11:34,484
- ? Say what?
- ? Roller coaster?
193
00:11:34,593 --> 00:11:36,322
? Heh, heh??
194
00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:42,134
[Coughs]
195
00:11:42,234 --> 00:11:46,603
[Hoarse Voice]
Yep. Now I got it. Y'�ll saw me.
196
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:50,267
I was careful.
I used all the precautions.
197
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:52,276
It's those doggone kids.
198
00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:54,278
I should've laminated
those doggone kids.
199
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:57,543
What the heck was I thinkin'?
But that's okay.
200
00:11:57,650 --> 00:12:00,016
Now my boys are goin' to Vegas
without me.
201
00:12:00,119 --> 00:12:03,486
But all Bernie Mac gotta do
is get a little rest.
202
00:12:03,589 --> 00:12:06,251
A little shut-eye gets the red-eye.
203
00:12:06,358 --> 00:12:09,623
A little shut-eye, baby,
Bernie Mac can catch the red-eye.
204
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,026
[Coughing]
205
00:12:12,131 --> 00:12:14,326
The kids are feelin' better,
so I'll run them to school...
206
00:12:14,433 --> 00:12:18,369
- so you have nothing to worry about.
- Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.
207
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:20,439
- I'll come home early to check on you...
- [Coughing]
208
00:12:20,539 --> 00:12:22,564
Bring you some ginger ale with
all the bubbles stirred out.
209
00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:24,643
- That'll settle your stomach.
- [Unintelligible]
210
00:12:30,850 --> 00:12:34,616
- [Snorting]
- I know, baby. I know.
211
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:37,280
What can the mama do?
212
00:12:37,389 --> 00:12:39,414
Can you rub some of that
on my chest?
213
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:44,953
- ? Ain't no woman like the one I got?
- I wouldn't ask you...
214
00:12:45,064 --> 00:12:48,898
That's okay. The baby.
The mama little baby. [Baby Talk]
215
00:12:49,001 --> 00:12:53,631
No, sir! No, sir! You all not gonna watch
her rub that stuff on my chest.
216
00:12:53,739 --> 00:12:56,537
Uh-uh. Ain't nothin' sacred
between man and wife?
217
00:12:56,642 --> 00:13:00,601
Y'�ll just nosy. Always wanna be
in somebody's business. [Chuckles]
218
00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:03,580
Oh, honey, Bryana's
feeling a little feverish.
219
00:13:03,682 --> 00:13:06,276
Are you well enough to keep an eye
on her? I'm gonna leave her at home.
220
00:13:06,385 --> 00:13:08,910
Aunt Wanda, I can stay home
and watch Bryana if you want.
221
00:13:09,021 --> 00:13:12,457
- I mean, it's not a problem.
- Oh, no, no. Nice try, baby girl.
222
00:13:12,558 --> 00:13:14,458
You just tryin'
to get out of school.
223
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,460
I'll be all right.
You go on to school.
224
00:13:16,562 --> 00:13:18,757
- [Coughing]
- Let's go.
225
00:13:18,864 --> 00:13:20,422
Jordan!
226
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:38,040
Uncle Bernie,
will you play with me?
227
00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:41,347
Bryana, Uncle Bernie tired.
Can you play by yourself today?
228
00:13:41,453 --> 00:13:43,978
Okay. I'll get the scissors.
229
00:13:44,089 --> 00:13:46,922
No! No, baby,
don't get no scissors.
230
00:13:47,026 --> 00:13:50,120
I'll play with you, okay?
For just 10 minutes.
231
00:13:50,229 --> 00:13:52,697
This is Chrissy,
and yours is Cindy.
232
00:13:52,798 --> 00:13:55,699
All right.
[Sighs]
233
00:13:55,801 --> 00:13:58,861
I'm going to the store.
Do you wanna go?
234
00:13:58,971 --> 00:14:02,998
- Mm-mmm.
- No, Uncle Bernie. Not like that.
235
00:14:03,108 --> 00:14:06,737
You have to hold her up.
236
00:14:08,614 --> 00:14:10,673
Okay. Let's go to the store.
237
00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:13,377
- No.
- No, Uncle Bernie.
238
00:14:13,485 --> 00:14:16,818
- You have to talk like Cindy.
- [High-pitched Voice] No!
239
00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:20,050
You have to say yes,
Uncle Bernie.
240
00:14:20,159 --> 00:14:22,218
- Yes!
- Okay.
241
00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:25,195
- Let's go to the store.
- All right.
242
00:14:25,297 --> 00:14:28,232
No, Uncle Bernie,
she doesn't walk like that.
243
00:14:28,334 --> 00:14:30,894
- She walks like this.
- Okay, Bryana.
244
00:14:31,003 --> 00:14:33,471
- Like this.
- Okay. But, Bryana...
245
00:14:33,572 --> 00:14:35,767
Uncle Bernie, he's too old
to play with dolls.
246
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:39,208
Can we play
something else, baby?
247
00:14:39,311 --> 00:14:41,279
?? [Drums, Tambourine]
248
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:56,123
I'm gonna read to you
and make you feel all better.
249
00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:58,128
[Sighs]
250
00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:00,994
That'd be nice, baby girl.
[Sniffles]
251
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:03,568
But first, Uncle Bernie
gonna take a nap for one hour.
252
00:15:03,669 --> 00:15:07,105
Just one hour.
And then you can read...
253
00:15:07,206 --> 00:15:09,367
we play dollies, whatever else
you wanna do, okay?
254
00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:11,136
- Okay
- Good.
255
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:13,734
But first,
I'll read to you.
256
00:15:16,448 --> 00:15:20,316
Once upon a time,
there was a beautiful princess...
257
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:23,684
who lived in a big,
beautiful, purple castle.
258
00:15:23,789 --> 00:15:25,689
It was orange too.
259
00:15:25,791 --> 00:15:29,420
She had 13 dogs
and eight cats...
260
00:15:29,528 --> 00:15:31,621
and no birds.
261
00:15:31,730 --> 00:15:34,528
And what else
there happened...
262
00:15:34,633 --> 00:15:39,195
The... The bear
died anyway, because...
263
00:15:39,305 --> 00:15:43,105
The bear dies, because
ifhe lives somewhere...
264
00:15:43,208 --> 00:15:45,403
if he lives somewhere,
he would, um...
265
00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:49,781
He would not...
he wouldn't die.
266
00:15:49,882 --> 00:15:53,716
- Lfhe wouldn't live nowhere, he would die.
- Whew.
267
00:15:53,819 --> 00:15:57,118
- The bear...
- Man, I-I don't know how much more I can take.
268
00:15:57,222 --> 00:16:00,555
America, I'm sorry.
This girl about to drive me crazy.
269
00:16:00,659 --> 00:16:03,492
- I didn't know she knew that many words.
- The door was locked.
270
00:16:03,595 --> 00:16:07,964
- Y'�ll got to pray for me. You gotta pray for me.
- [Bryana Stops Talking]
271
00:16:09,335 --> 00:16:11,303
I think she's through.
272
00:16:19,578 --> 00:16:23,674
- [Floor Creaks]
- [Bryana] Uncle Bernie! Uncle Bernie!
273
00:16:23,782 --> 00:16:25,682
[Crying]
274
00:16:25,784 --> 00:16:27,843
Why are you crying?
275
00:16:27,953 --> 00:16:30,581
Oh, Bryana...
276
00:16:30,689 --> 00:16:32,589
girl,
[Grunts]
277
00:16:32,691 --> 00:16:34,659
It's only 10:00
in the mornin'.
278
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:38,719
I know.
Let's play parade again.
279
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:41,163
No. I don't wanna
play no parade.
280
00:16:41,266 --> 00:16:43,962
- Hey, I gotta idea.
- [Snaps Fingers]
281
00:16:45,437 --> 00:16:48,167
Come on, sit with
Uncle Bernie right quick. Oh!
282
00:16:48,273 --> 00:16:50,173
I gotta idea.
283
00:16:50,275 --> 00:16:53,108
- Let's play hide-and-seek.
- Yea!
284
00:16:53,212 --> 00:16:55,612
Okay, you hide,
and I'll come look for you.
285
00:16:55,714 --> 00:16:57,614
- I'll count to 100, okay?
- Okay.
286
00:16:57,716 --> 00:17:01,914
Okay. One, two, three...
287
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,581
Hide good, now.
288
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:08,182
Oh! One...
289
00:17:08,293 --> 00:17:10,261
two...
290
00:17:11,497 --> 00:17:14,466
[Bryana Crying]
291
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,233
Oh, Bryana, Bryana.
292
00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:23,638
[Crying Continues]
293
00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:28,211
Baby girl, I'm sorry I didn't
come lookin' for you, okay?
294
00:17:28,313 --> 00:17:30,338
You hurt my feelings,
Uncle Bernie.
295
00:17:30,449 --> 00:17:33,680
Oh, Bryana,
you the last person I wanna hurt.
296
00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:35,686
I just had to get some rest.
297
00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:39,417
- I was tryin' to get better so I can go to Vegas. Hey.
- [Snaps Fingers]
298
00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:42,722
Hey, baby girl,
you see this timer?
299
00:17:42,828 --> 00:17:46,127
It's set for one hour. In one hour,
you gonna hear "ding, ding."
300
00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:49,530
When you hear "ding, ding,"
you and me can play all you want.
301
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:52,627
Before "ding, ding," me.
After "ding, ding," you. Okay?
302
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:54,365
- Okay.
- Say, "Ding, ding."
303
00:17:54,473 --> 00:17:56,100
- Ding, ding.
- Girl, that's it.
304
00:17:56,208 --> 00:17:59,644
- [Ticking]
- ?? [Humming]
305
00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:01,804
Bryana, come here,
baby girl!
306
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,882
I can't, Uncle Bernie.
307
00:18:03,982 --> 00:18:06,109
You need to get your rest.
308
00:18:06,218 --> 00:18:08,118
Never mind that. Listen.
309
00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:10,120
Go into the hall closet...
310
00:18:10,222 --> 00:18:13,419
get me some toilet tissue
and throw it to me, okay?
311
00:18:13,525 --> 00:18:16,619
- Hurry up. It's important.
- I can't, Uncle Bernie.
312
00:18:16,728 --> 00:18:18,923
It didn't go "ding, ding."
313
00:18:19,031 --> 00:18:22,000
Ding, ding, baby girl!
Ding, ding! Hurry up now!
314
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:26,765
Uncle Bernie, did you have a B.M.,
or are you "frowning" up?
315
00:18:26,872 --> 00:18:29,238
Hurry, hurry up!
Come on, Bryana, hurry up!
316
00:18:30,542 --> 00:18:32,442
I can't reach it.
317
00:18:32,544 --> 00:18:34,671
Okay, listen,
listen, listen.
318
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:38,910
Go in the kitchen,
pour yourself somejuice...
319
00:18:39,017 --> 00:18:41,417
and stay in the kitchen
and drink it, okay?
320
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:45,149
- Okay.
- All right. Hurry up, baby girl! Hurry up!
321
00:18:57,202 --> 00:18:59,762
- You drinkin' your juice?
- I drank it.
322
00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:02,067
All right.
Get yourself another one.
323
00:19:07,679 --> 00:19:10,273
[Door Opens]
324
00:19:12,584 --> 00:19:16,281
Aw. I'm so glad
he got his rest.
325
00:19:16,388 --> 00:19:19,016
- [Footsteps Approaching]
- Shh. Come on.
326
00:19:19,124 --> 00:19:21,388
Let's let them sleep.
I'll take you to get some tacos.
327
00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:23,518
- You like tacos?
- I don't know.
328
00:19:23,629 --> 00:19:25,529
- You don't?
- No.
329
00:19:25,631 --> 00:19:28,361
[Door Closes]
330
00:19:30,402 --> 00:19:32,302
[Engine Starts]
331
00:19:32,404 --> 00:19:34,838
Wanda! Wanda! Wanda!
332
00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:37,204
- Wanda! Wanda.
- [Car Departing]
333
00:19:37,309 --> 00:19:39,971
[Crying]
Wanda.
334
00:19:40,078 --> 00:19:42,979
[Crying Continues]
335
00:19:44,783 --> 00:19:46,683
Uncle Bernie...
336
00:19:46,785 --> 00:19:49,049
do you remember
you told us...
337
00:19:49,154 --> 00:19:51,520
not to throw anything
on the floor...
338
00:19:51,623 --> 00:19:53,591
or we might break something?
339
00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:57,287
- Yeah.
- Chrissy didn't listen.
340
00:19:57,396 --> 00:19:59,387
Maybe we should give her
a time-out.
341
00:19:59,498 --> 00:20:01,398
Okay.
342
00:20:07,139 --> 00:20:10,131
Grown-ups shouldn't
be left alone with kids all day.
343
00:20:10,242 --> 00:20:12,938
It ain't right.
It's not natural...
344
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,809
like fish flyin',
birds in the sea.
345
00:20:15,914 --> 00:20:18,678
It's my kin,
my flesh and blood.
346
00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:20,718
But I'm gonna say it.
You ain't gonna like it.
347
00:20:20,819 --> 00:20:23,049
She's boring, dull...
348
00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:25,055
dull as a rock.
349
00:20:25,157 --> 00:20:28,126
This was the dullest day
of my life.
350
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:30,889
Had I spent another day with,
another minute...
351
00:20:30,996 --> 00:20:33,521
- I probably would've, uh...
- [Record Scratches]
352
00:20:33,632 --> 00:20:36,396
Uncle Bernie,
you hurt my feelings.
353
00:20:38,770 --> 00:20:41,136
[Clears Throat]
I'm... Come here, baby girl.
354
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,470
Come sit with me
for a while.
355
00:20:44,509 --> 00:20:47,535
Oh, Bryana.
[Grunts]
356
00:20:47,646 --> 00:20:50,911
I'm sorry.
You know what?
357
00:20:51,016 --> 00:20:55,077
I appreciate you takin' care of your
Uncle Bernie like you did today, okay?
358
00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:57,121
- Okay.
- Now do me a favor.
359
00:20:57,222 --> 00:20:59,952
Go in the kitchen,
make yourself somethin' to drink.
360
00:21:00,058 --> 00:21:02,686
I gotta finish talkin' to America
right now. Okay?
361
00:21:02,794 --> 00:21:05,729
- Okay.
- Okay. Mm! I love you.
362
00:21:10,035 --> 00:21:13,334
She's still dull, boring.
[Sniffles]
363
00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:16,430
Anyway,
I didn't get no better.
364
00:21:16,541 --> 00:21:18,805
Didn't even get a chance
to go to Vegas.
365
00:21:18,910 --> 00:21:21,071
But I did get a chance
to play blackjack.
366
00:21:21,179 --> 00:21:23,147
[Coughs]
367
00:21:26,351 --> 00:21:30,515
- Hit me.
- Uncle Bernie, you can't hit on a 20.
368
00:21:30,622 --> 00:21:32,920
- He's stupid.
- Hit me.
369
00:21:33,025 --> 00:21:34,993
[Groans]
370
00:21:39,865 --> 00:21:44,131
Once upon a time, there was
a beautiful princess...
371
00:21:44,236 --> 00:21:49,833
who lived in a big, beautiful,
purple castle... it was orange too.
372
00:21:49,941 --> 00:21:55,641
She had 13 dogs
and eight cats and no birds.
373
00:21:55,747 --> 00:21:57,942
What color was it,
purple or orange?
374
00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:02,112
It was...
It was purple.
375
00:22:02,220 --> 00:22:04,848
Just makin' up stuff.
376
00:22:04,956 --> 00:22:06,856
You did that.
377
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:09,787
You can't read.
29134
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