Original subtitles

You'll see why in a minute.

The song is called... Oh, and it's Napoleon.

Napoleon. No wonder, their song is called...

Erick, is your son OK?

He misses his mother.

"Waterloo," by ABBA, for Sweden.

Watch this one.

Quiet everyone! It's Sweden.

Lars! Sit down Lars!

He is going to one day sing and dance in the Eurovision Song Contest!

I'd rather be dead.

Look!

Little Sigrit is dancing!

She can't even speak!

Lars! Stop making a fool of yourself!

Stop laughing at me!

Stop laughing at me!

One day, I shall win the Eurovision Song Contest.

And none of you will laugh at me then.

Lars!

Goddamn it!

Sorry, Papa!

-Lars? -Yes.

That was amazing.

I-- It is not our best, but it was very good.

Perhaps it should be our song for the Eurovision Song Contest.

No, no, no. No way.

"Double Trouble" is the one.

-Yeah, it is super tremendous. -Mmm.

Your singing was very powerful tonight.

-Wow! -Yes.

Eurgh!

-Eurgh. Yeah. -Eurgh, yeah...

What is it you don't understand about electricity?

Hello, Sigrit. Heh.

Hello.

Idiot.

-But Papa, no, I have to connect-- -Enough. Shut up. Shut up, Lars.

-But the lighting-- -Shut up, shut up.

What is it...

What a grump.

- Whoa. - Yeah, wow.

Super angry.

Since you were a baby, you've been under the spell of Lars Erickssong.

I know, Mama. I know you don't like him.

He's holding you back.

What you forget, I was the little girl who could not speak.

You could. You just didn't want to.

Right, until Lars taught me how to sing.

It was ABBA.

And Lars.

But mostly ABBA.

And, yeah.

Listen to me, Sigrit.

You know I believe this.

You are a true artist,

but art doesn't come from up here.

It comes from in here.

That is where we each can find the Speorg note,

the truest expression of ourselves.

But you will never sing it with Lars Erickssong.

The bank called.

I can no longer afford the house and my fishing boat.

I must choose.

Too bad about the boat.

So many fond memories. Heh.

I make money fishing.

I'm selling the house.

But, uh...

I live there...

with you.

You're a middle-aged man, Lars.

It's time for you to start living your life.

Time to move on from your childish dreams.

Be the man your mother wanted you to be.

She loved having me around the house, so she might not be happy.

Why did he bring me here to tell me that?

I see you.

-There you are. -Here I am.

-Hey, I'm checking you out. -Oh. I'm checking you out.

-Two cups of coffee? -Both mine.

Okay?

-Okay. -Yeah. Mmm.

-Is your dad still angry with you? -Oh, he's very angry.

And he's selling the house and kicking me out.

No! Where are you gonna live?

It's a great question, right?

Well, at least it'll be in our beautiful Húsavík.

Yeah, I guess so.

Yeah.

Oh, no, you don't, Lars Erickssong!

-No. It's too late, Olaf. -Take the ticket off my car.

It's too late. Once I fill out the ticket, it's too late.

What's this?

Sigrit and I are performing at the Captain's Galley tonight.

-Yep. -Why are you and your sister

-playing at the Captain's Galley? -She's probably not my sister.

I'm definitely not your sister.

Ragnar Loftonsson is retiring.

I'm not paying this ticket.

- But are you coming to the party tonight? - Yeah.

Of course I'm coming to the party tonight.

There's nothing else to do in this shit town!

I'm not paying this ticket!

Your father is ashamed of you.

- Whoa. - Okay.

-That's-- -But, Olaf, we know where you live.

You will ultimately have to pay the ticket.

Your father is ashamed of you!

He's right.

My father is ashamed of me.

No, he's not. That's not true.

No, it is true.

After you left, he looked me deep into the eyes and said,

"I am ashamed of you."

-Oh, I don't know if that's-- -And then,

he said, "You have wasted your whole life

on this one stupid idea of the Eurovision Song Contest.

And now you're a grown man without a wife?

Without a child?

Your life is a joke."

-Maybe he was drunk. -No.

He said, "And you might think that I'm drunk,

but I am dead sober."

"And I'm very serious."

Right.

I am Lars, this is Sigrit.

We are Fire Saga.

-Whoo! -Stephan on the skins.

Yes, Stephan just got his first armpit hair today,

so he's pretty excited.

We have a special treat for you if you'll indulge us.

We'd love to play for you, our submission

for this year's Eurovision Song Contest.

No.

Play "Ja Ja Ding Dong"!

Play "Ja Ja Ding Dong"!

- "Ja Ja Ding Dong"! - Play it!

"Ja Ja Ding Dong," okay.

One, two, three, four...

Lars?

Lars.

-I can't handle this. -I know.

Every time I try to show them what real music is, they laugh.

"Ja Ja Ding Dong"?

I can't take this shit! Okay?

-Okay. -It's like this much shit!

-I know! -I can maybe take this much shit,

but it's up here!

-It's a lot of shit! -Shit!

Shit.

Ooh.

Hey, Lars!

Get back in there right now and play "Ja Ja Ding Dong"!

No, we are done for tonight.

You have to play it!

Why do I have to play it? I already played it.

I don't care! You have to play it again!

Tell me, when will it be enough for you?

It will never be enough!

I only want to hear "Ja Ja Ding Dong"!

Fine, I'll play it. I'll play it.

We're having a break.

All right.

Hey, guys, he's going to play "Ja Ja Ding Dong"!

It's the only thing that makes him happy.

I'm going to play it.

But I'm going to tell him to eff off during the song, so...

Okay, listen. Last night,

I went to the Gálgahraun lava field to ask the elves to help us.

-Elves? -Hear me out.

-Hold on. -No.

-Elves again? -Don't do it.

You know I have nothing to do with elves.

Lars, shut your mouth or the elves will shut it for you!

I, uh--

Please, elves don't exist, Sigrit.

You're killing me.

Take it back.

I can't take it back.

-You have to take it back. -Look, it's not going to be elves

that get us into the song contest this year.

It's going to be the perfect song.

Plus elves.

Her name is Katiana Lindsdóttir but she goes simply by the name of Katiana.

Katiana is the whole package...

..the beauty, the voice, great song...

..her English is perfect.

And she's from Keflavik.

Well...

without being dramatic, I think it may be the best

audition tape we've ever had

in the history of the Icelandic Song Contest.

Wow, she's an angel.

This is exciting!

Iceland could win the Eurovision Song Contest

for the first time in its sixty-year history.

Can you imagine?

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

- What's wrong, Victor? - If she won...

that means that we then host the contest for the next year.

Ah, yes.

The winner of the Eurovision Song Contest hosts the following year.

Yes, you're right, Victor.

Maybe it could be in Keflavik.

Oh, sure.

- Fantastic idea. - Thank you.

But perhaps, Keflavik,

a town of 15,000 people, lacks the infrastructure to host

42 countries and over half a million people.

I'm afraid the cost of hosting will bankrupt the whole country.

What?

And why should we listen to him? Huh?

The brilliant financial men of this country

nearly ruined us ten years ago.

- Anna, Anna, enough. - You were one of them...

Victor...

it is our job to think of the greater good for all of Iceland.

If Katiana wins the Icelandic Song Contest,

we have a real chance of winning Eurovision.

And we must take it.

We must take it. We must take it!

It's, uh...

Yeah, there's just one, uh, problem.

We only have 11 acts, but the rules say we need 12.

Yeah, that's a good point. Um...

Would you pass this down to Jorn?

Pick one.

-What? -Is that fair?

Come on. We all know that Katiana is going to win this, right?

-Yes. -Yeah, so pick one.

It says...

Oh, my God! Sigrit!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

I have big news!

We did it! Sigrit!

I've got big news!

Bring in the boats!

Everyone must hear this!

Get ready, Húsavík!

Yeah, I heard.

I'm on my way.

Fire Saga is in!

Fire Saga is in!

I'm sure it's very exciting for you, Lars,

but you must know that the emergency signal is for life or death situations.

And I could argue that this town is near death,

and my entrance into the song contest is the last chance

we, as a town, have to be alive.

-Don't. -I always thought you were weird, Lars.

My older brother went to school with you and he told me you were weird.

Your older brother rode a horse backwards to school.

So...

Sigrit.

Can you believe it?

It's true?

I have the letter in my pocket.

I have the letter in my pocket!

-Arnar, let him go. -He broke the law.

Come on, guy.

Don't you call me guy.

You're being, like, really uncool.

No, no. No, no, no. Lars is way more uncool.

He will never win at singing.

You're throwing your life away on that idiot!

Listen to him, Sigrit. Lars is weird.

The whole town thinks so.

You are smart and pretty.

You should be with a good man, like Arnar.

No.

Well, I don't care what people think

and I would like you to let him go, please, Arnar.

Just be cool.

Be cool?

Hey. Be a cool guy.

Just be cool. Let him go.

Good day, my elf friends.

I made you some biscuits.

And I brought you some of Mama's whiskey.

Just to say thank you so much for getting us into the contest.

You should have seen Lars' face. Oh! It was priceless. He is so happy.

And so...

I was just wondering if, um...

maybe, if it's not too much trouble,

you could help us get into Eurovision?

I know it's a lot to ask, and you've already helped us so much,

but...

well...

it's his one true dream.

And I think if it could come true,

well, I'm pretty sure we could finally be together.

Okay.

Oh! Oh, oh, oh.

Um, one more thing.

Uh, I thought it might be cool, too, if we had a baby.

But, uh... we can talk about that next time.

Okay. Bye-bye.

-I have a lot of costumes in here, so... -Yeah.

Don't-- Hey.

Stephan, come here.

So, uh... listen.

A little bit of bad news.

Uh, you're not going to Reykjavik.

Plus, you have school, it'd be tough.

Hey, music, it's a tough biz.

It's okay.

My friends think the song contest is for losers,

and it's going to be an epic shitshow.

Oh.

Good luck.

Okay. Yeah, thank you.

-We'll miss you. All right? -Okay.

-All right. Okay. -All right. Here we go.

Fire Saga for the win!

Yeah!

-Bye. -Bye.

Good evening and welcome to the 43rd Icelandic Song Contest.

We are coming to you live

in downtown Reykjavik.

Tonight, we have gathered the finest Iceland has to offer.

Twelve best in Iceland, and one of these lucky...

-Lars? -Yeah.

This is too much.

This is nothing.

Eurovision is the big time. This is crap compared to Euro.

-Wow. -Read that.

What is it?

It's an invite to a party tonight on a boat for all the contestants.

-A boat party? -Mmm.

-That would be fun. -Yes, a boat party.

But not everyone will be in a good mood tonight at the party.

Surely we will, when we win.

Yeah. Remind me, Lars, when do we go on?

-Right after Katiana. -Oh, my God. Katiana.

I am so nervous, Lars.

I wish I could sing in Icelandic, I know it would calm me.

Sigrit, you know that a song in Icelandic would never win Eurovision Song Contest.

Yes, I know, I know, I'm being silly. But I'm just... I'm just anxious.

-Lars. -Hmm.

It's really a...

dream come true.

Huh?

-Yes. No, I know. -Yeah.

Oh.

What are you doing?

I just want my ding dong to look bigger than what is really there.

-Smart. -Mmm.

Should I draw attention to my groin area as well?

Now you get it. Yeah.

- I can do a camel. - Do a classic camel.

- Okay. - It's never out of style.

-Yeah. -That looks good.

Pretty good, huh?

And now, the first act tonight.

21st Century Viking.

Hey, Erick.

Erick, it's started.

-What? -When does your son go up?

How the hell should I know?

Don't you care? I mean--

He's-- He's your own son.

Turn it off.

Turn it off.

Enough.

Stop making a fool of yourself. You're going to look ridiculous.

All of Iceland will laugh at you.

I'm going to go, uh, check on our lighting.

Okay.

Just thought maybe we could go over the lighting cues for our act.

Uh, Fire Saga.

-Are you crazy? -No.

-You know you're on right after this. -What?

No.

-She will win this, for sure. -Oh, yeah. Erick.

Your son is up next.

Okay. Okay.

-You have to go now. -No. No!

Lars. Please, can you make them wait?

-It's live television. You have to go on. -No, I can't. I can't, I can't!

Go! Go!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

I'm in Fire Saga.

I'm in Fire Saga.

-Coming through. -Whoa, easy, man!

Please move. Please move.

Yes, it's real.

Stop the show, please?

Lars!

Can we go to commercial, please?

Maybe a fresh start?

Stop laughing, please.

No.

Oh, no.

Lars.

-Lars. -Hi, I'm Lars.

Yeah.

Oh, Sigrit.

-Hi. -Hi.

I ruined it for both of us.

And you didn't even get to go to the boat party.

Everyone from the contest is out there.

Everyone but you.

Why do you stand by me?

Because you are a dreamer.

My dreamer.

Whenever I feel like giving up,

you give me hope, Lars.

You always keep going.

Sigrit...

ever since we were children...

Yes.

Me, too.

Ew!

Oh, God.

Ugh!

It's Katiana!

- Yes. - No!

All those people.

Iceland's greatest artists all gone!

Sigrit...

you're right.

Everyone is gone.

Are you in shock?

They're all out of the contest.

The elves went too far.

It's too good to be true!

-Oh! -We're in!

-We're in the winner's circle! -What?

We're in the winner's circle!

-We're in. -We're in.

-We're in! -We're in! We're in!

Oh, but I feel really bad about the people on the boat.

Oh, me too.

I know, it's a great tragedy.

We're in?

But we're in?

I'm so sad.

-So sad. -So, so sad. I feel so...

It's a terrible tragedy.

The rules are the rules.

Fire Saga is the runner-up.

If you send those two freaks to the Eurovision Song Contest,

-the whole world will laugh at Iceland. -Anna, I know this.

They're horrible.

Terrible.

So bad.

-So, so, so, so, so, so... bad. -Yes.

But they're all we have left.

So we're in?

Yeah?

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

-Oh, my goodness. -Wow.

Oh!

It's so luxurious.

-It's so swish. For us? -This is world class.

Sigrit.

Whoo!

Oh, my God.

Oh, Schweppes!

So many Schweppes!

Under the bed. Hide it under the bed.

Just here for Eurovision.

We are Fire Saga. We are a band.

Okay...

That was so fun.

Yeah, there comes some more fun.

Let the fun out.

I see you.

- There you are. - Here I am.

-I'm checking you out. -I'm checking you out.

I can hardly believe it, Lars.

I never thought we'd leave Húsavík, and now...

look at us.

-I... nah. -Ah... Nah?

Nah.

-Wha--? -Yeah.

Why?

We can't. We have to think about the music.

-Oh, yes. -Right?

But we can make music and love.

-No, we can't. -Mmm.

-Really? -Just...

No. Romance, it ruins the bands.

Think about it.

Fleetwood Mac, right?

ABBA, Post Malone,

Semen and Garfunkel.

-Yeah, I forgot about Semen and Garfunkel. -I know.

Wow.

-This is very disappointing news. -No.

No, no, listen.

We are so close to realizing our dream.

So close to winning.

Well, it's exciting.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

-Okay. -All right.

Okay, you're right. Yes.

We should concentrate on the music and--

-Yes. -So we'll do that for now.

Yes.

-Excuse me. -Yes?

-Hello? -Oh, no one's home.

Hello?

I have a telephone call for you.

-Okay. -It's from the Mayor of Winning.

He wants to say something to you.

Yes, Mayor of Winning?

"Hello, Sigrit?

You're going to win."

Oh, how was your phone call?

Was it good?

-Yeah, good call. Okay? -Yeah. It was pretty good.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Eurovision Song Contest.

I've never held a glass this tall before.

I know.

- Cheers. - Good luck, everyone.

Okay, and standby, Russia.

In three, two, one.

Lars, that voice. It's incredible.

The Russian. Alexander Lemtov.

He's one of the favorites.

Oh, yes, I can see why.

He's very good. But Sigrit, no one has a more perfect voice than you.

-Iceland? -Yes.

-Okay, you're up next. -Okay.

Thank you, Russia. Please clear the stage.

We don't have much time, so-- Watch your step.

Okay, this is the stage.

Your mark is just here, so please... Thank you.

Sigrit, we have arrived.

Yeah.

Iceland...

are you ready for your first technical run-through?

Uh... Almost. Can you give us one second, please?

-Sigrit. -Yes.

I have a surprise for you.

Ooh...

Okay, we're going to need to get Lars hooked up to his wire.

The wheel's still being built. Should be a few more days. Um...

-Sigrit. You look like a tooth. -Yes.

Come forward with me. Okay, so...

You are going to be center front, about ten behind the e-fan.

Mark that spot, please!

Okay. Lars, are you good, my little sausage?

So good, Kevin Swain.

Is Iceland ready?

-Go for it! -Lars, what--

That was Kevin Swain.

Crazy, right?

Kevin who?

You were standing next to Kevin Swain.

He heads the creative team that Iceland hired to help us win.

Uh...

Okay, hi.

Ooh!

Come on, Sigrit. What? What are you doing, Sigrit? Come on.

Uh... I...

I'm sorry. I--

Hold it there a moment.

Do you have a sickness in your legs? Are your feet very sad?

You...

Do you want me to dance or...

Oh! I'd love it. I would.

Can I just say one thing? Sigrit is very good.

She'll pick this up right away. She's the best.

I know it. I believe it. I believe it so much.

Look at you. You're a stunning big piece of rice...

-Nina, look what I'm doing here. -...I'm gonna boil.

Stop it, because you know you're gonna make me now.

-Here we go. -Yeah.

-Lars, can I tell you something? -Yeah.

-I love what you're doing. -Thank you so much.

Okay. Happy times, cheery feet, pick them up.

Everything's really coming together.

Wonderful, Lars. Come on, everyone. Very good point.

Okay. From the top again.

- I don't know what I'm doing. - Surprise!

Neils.

-Hey, Victor. -Uh...

-Jorn, Anna. -Hi.

-Hello, Victor. -So...

-how is Fire Storm doing? -Fire Saga.

Fire Saga.

Fire Saga, okay.

The first rehearsal was a bit of a mess.

Was it?

But Kevin Swain is using all of his talent...

-Yes. -...to try and help them.

- A sprinkle. - Yes.

-But we're still ranked last. -Yeah, wonderful.

What? No. No, that's not wonderful at all.

-No. -No, we're being laughed at.

Yes, of course. It's terrible.

-Yes. -Mm-hmm.

-It's terrible. -Yeah.

Well, I have to go.

There is always next year.

-Okay, can we stop real quick? -Mm-hmm.

Um...

Sigrit.

What's going on?

Nothing. Why?

No, just your singing, it doesn't sound like you.

Oh, well, it's a very different mix.

Doesn't it sound a little busy to you?

Oh.

Jae-bong.

Uh, do you think the new track is busy?

I think it's presh, coz.

See? It's presh, coz.

-Oh. -I think he's killing it.

Yeah. We're going to win with this dope track.

Bish.

Uh, well, I don't want to hurt Jae-bong's feelings...

-Okay. -...but I don't think this track is dope.

Bish.

But bish,

I don't know if you understand.

Jae-bong was in Kitty Cat Fancy,

one of the biggest K-pop bands of all time.

And I think he knows what's good.

Right, bro? Huh?

It's all about the plo, yo.

The what?

It's all about the plo.

-The flow? -Flow, I think he said flow.

-Flow. -Flow.

-It's all about the flow. Yeah. -Okay.

Okay.

- I'll try. Let's run it again. - Okay. We're all good.

Oh. I am so sorry. I thought you were over.

No, no, no, we are almost finished.

I heard your song. Your voice is quite special.

-You are Iceland, yes? -Oh.

Yes, we are from Iceland. Yes.

You are brother-sister?

-No. -Probably not.

No.

You are Alexander Lemtov and I have heard you singing on the stage.

You sing with such passion.

Thank you. Thank you.

Listen, I throw smash-up party tonight. Why don't you come? Be my guests, huh?

-Tonight? -Yes.

Um...

-Do you-- -We could--

The only thing is we have to finish the remix.

This is shame. All of best performers,

dancers will be there, very crazy sexy time. You'll love it.

But, you know...

first time Eurovision, too much. I understand. It's okay.

No, wait. Hold-- But, please...

if the best of the best is going to be there, then without a doubt,

we will be there as well. There's no question.

All right.

Okay, this wonderful. Well...

I see you there. Okay.

-Okay. -Okay.

Okay.

You have to watch that guy.

He is a sex player.

Pfft... No.

I don't know about that.

I do.

No one travels around with four guys like that. Come on.

Besides, he's a slick customer.

And he probably has a very large penis.

Oh, yes, yes.

I sense that he does have a very large penis.

I think that's true. Yeah.

Yeah. He's got a BDE Hundo P.

Oh.

-No question. -No.

Well, I think he's just being friendly, really.

Remember,

we don't need friends, okay?

We need to win.

Wha...

Amazing!

Yeah, it looks kind of old to me, like it's about to fall apart.

-Someone just opened our doors. -Yes.

-Ooh. -Hello.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

This is very different from our hotel.

Sigrit, Lars, you came.

-This so great. -Yes.

Lars.

Welcome. Welcome.

I'm so happy, this so great that you are here.

Where are we?

This my home.

-Yes. Yes. -Wow.

I have many home all over world, but this crazy place,

maybe my top five favorite.

Yes.

The penises on the Greek statues...

-Yeah. -...they are very dangly.

Yes, I love the history and this just the way the Ancient Greek make statues.

So these are Ancient Greek statues?

Yes, of course.

-That's was my question, too. Yes. -Yeah.

Because I was thinking...

-that their faces kind of look like yours. -Yeah. Mm-hmm.

-Maybe you're right. Yeah. -It's uncanny.

-It's uncanny. -They're very, very handsome.

-Have you ever... -Yeah, that's crazy.

Come, I show you party.

Come.

-He doesn't notice... -He doesn't understand.

...that they all look like him.

So, there Lisa Lisa from Hungary.

Her odds not very good. Not as bad as yours, but not good.

These The Wonderfour from Finland.

They have very hippy, snappy rock and roll sound.

She is fabulous, but she should ditch boys.

This Julia J.

She come number one, England's Got Talent, four years ago,

so she quite good, but everybody hates UK, so...

zero points.

-Kevin. -Kevin Swain.

I think you know my full name.

You shaved your cheek hair.

-Oh, so smooth. -Oh, I miss it.

-You naughty boy. -I know, I shouldn't have said that.

Oh, you look like a flashy disco ball.

-Kevin Swain. I know. -Kevin Swain, visionary, the best.

Oh, there Johnny John John, Sweden. Killer dance move.

Yes.

-Lars. -Do you like champagne?

More tall glasses.

-Okay. -Love it.

Oh. Oh, my gosh. I almost forgot, Mita Xenakis from Greece.

She one of the favorite. She great pipes,

sing with a lot of emotion. Mita, Mita!

Come, come. Come meet my Icelanders.

Baby, where have you been?

-Hello. -Mita Xenakis, Lars Erickssong.

-Hi. -Sigrit Ericksdóttir.

Are you brother and sister?

-No. -Probably not. Nah.

Sigrit have very beautiful voice. Their song is quite good.

Yes, I agree. I think it is the best song that I've ever written. I write our songs.

I also sing and design a lot of the costumes and our footwear.

Fantastic.

Why don't you tell me more about your amazing talents over a drink.

Come, Sigrit. There's something I want to show you.

-Talk to me. -Okay.

Are you good?

See you in a bit.

-Are you liking Eurovision so far? Good. -Oh, yes. Very much so.

I think we have a very good chance of winning.

Oh, God. Win, lose, really doesn't matter.

Oh, where are we going?

-Please, let me show you. -Okay.

Wow, this is...

Oh!

Isn't it wonderful?

It's the most beauty I have seen in my life.

Oh...

What?

What?

I wish to say something very stupid.

-Oh, tell me. -No.

No, I love stupid things.

Okay, I wish to say that it is...

...more beautiful because you are here in it.

Oh, um...

I-- You--

Lars would really love this.

-Maybe... -Sigrit. Sigrit, Sigrit.

Lars cannot have everything.

God, do you only think of winning?

Of course.

Now I have to become an international star to prove to all of Iceland,

and my extremely handsome father,

that I have not wasted my life.

Oh, my God.

-Well, I really like you now. -Oh.

That-- That's something, it excited me, you know?

I have heard you sing.

You are very good, but...

I think there is more.

I think you sing from here...

but... not so much from here.

That is what my mama says as well.

You say I sing with passion.

What is your passion?

If you could use your voice,

to speak for yourself...

what would you say?

Uh...

I would say...

What's that?

Oh...

-You are going to love this. Come, come. -Okay.

What's going on?

-Lars, it's a song-along. -A song-along?

-Have you been to a song-along? -No.

-Oh, baby, come with me. Come. -Okay. Yes, let's go.

-Huh? -Me? No.

-Sing with me. -Yeah.

Whew!

-Hello. -Hello.

Oh, my God.

-Your sister. Huh! -Oh. Yeah.

She can really sing.

I don't think she's my sister, but she can sing.

No question. Yeah.

She doesn't always sing like that.

-I should go try to find her. -Oh, no, let her be, Lars Erickssong.

But we have so much work we have to do.

Oh, work... Oh, come on, work.

Is that all that you can think of? Can you think of nothing else?

Like what?

Like, um... romance.

Yes, of course. No, no, no. I think of romance and sex play.

And like, you know, French maid and little sailor boy.

-Oh, I like that. -I have a good size penis.

Well, not too big.

Uh, I kind of describe my penis like a Volvo automobile:

solid, sturdy, dependable, but not going to turn any heads.

- No. - Lars!

-There you are. -Hey.

Did you hear us singing at the end?

I think it was the best I ever sang in my whole life maybe.

The best? I don't know. I mean, you sing pretty good back at home.

Well, I have never sung better.

Sigrit, you unlocked something inside me.

I almost hit the Speorg note.

You know about the Speorg note?

Of course. Icelandic folklore, one of my many passions.

Yeah, but it's a myth.

-Lars. -I love the little elves.

They're cute.

Yeah, I know, it's interesting, for some people, who believe them.

But I think, uh, maybe we head back, huh?

-Head out. We got a big day tomorrow. -No. No, guys...

Everyone is going club dancing after this.

-You should come. -Club dancing.

Lars, we love club dancing! We have to go!

We do love club dancing! So much fun.

No, I want to go club dancing so bad.

But I have a lot to do. You go.

Are you sure?

I'm positive.

- Okay. Okay. - Yeah.

- Have fun. - Okay.

- Okay. - Okay.

Oh!

Two for me? Wow.

Thank you.

Mmm.

I hope the music never stops!

I could dance all night!

You are a most exciting woman.

Huh.

Sigrit.

She must have left her key.

-Mita. -Hello.

-This is going to happen, Lars. -Okay. My balls!

- Keep fighting. I like it. - I'm scared!

Oh, good morning.

Have you just been watching me?

No.

I braid your hair.

What?

I find it very relaxing pastime.

Wow.

That's quite good, actually.

-Thank you very much. -How long did that take you?

Six hours.

Um...

Did anything...

happen...

kind of...

Last night?

-Yeah. -No, of course not.

I gentleman.

Okay.

Wait, what's it?

How did you hear that?

This song?

-Yes. -You sing in your sleep.

-It's very beautiful. You write this? -Oh.

Yeah.

It's not finished yet.

And when it is finished, will you sing it with Lars?

Probably not.

Would you sing it with me?

I can't. No.

Lars has been my partner since childhood.

Partner in music, but...

nothing else?

Well, if we win the contest, then I hope that might change.

But if you don't win the contest,

will Lars be content if you are only one who adores him?

You should not be stuck in his cage, little bird.

You need to fly. Sing your song, for the world.

Well...

I am singing for the world.

Thanks to Lars. I--

So I should really probably go and concentrate.

So I'm going to go, okay?

You don't have to fly alone.

I would like to travel the world with you.

-What? -Perform your song.

Record your song.

Sigrit-Lemtov...

magazine cover, shoot with you on sexy island,

make passionate music.

It would be very good deal for you.

Um...

I have to go.

I'm gonna go.

-I have to go. -Just...

-think about it. -Okay.

Thank you for everything, Alexander.

Bye.

Lars?

Are you awake?

I had the strangest night.

And I...

Hello.

Oh.

Hey.

You, uh, remember, uh, Mita?

Yes.

Sigrit.

Oh, no.

Iceland, are we ready?

We are waiting on Sigrit!

Sir.

I am here!

-My king, your queen has arrived. -Thank you, Kevin Swain.

What is this?

It is a costume I made.

Well, it's bad.

Well, maybe if you were more focused and not out dancing all night,

you might feel better about it.

Oh!

What are you doing?

You don't have to do this.

Okay, and are we ready now?

Yup.

I have never been more ready!

Okay, do you think I'm stupid?

A guy like Lemtov, all he wants from a girl like you--

I didn't sleep with Lemtov!

Oh, well, I didn't sleep with Mita.

Yeah, and I think I know rotten shark meat when I smell it!

-Can't talk to you when you're like this. -Know what, Lars?

Why don't you just go ahead and sleep with everyone?

Eh?

You know, hey, maybe I will, too.

Because, you know, we're both free,

so let's just go sex-nuts.

I am happy to go sex-nuts.

I am going to have sex with everyone!

-Great. -Yes.

Starting with that lady, emptying the garbage can.

Yes.

Hmm.

And Kevin Swain. Easy.

Lovely. Thank you.

Nina, what do you say?

Okay, Nina is out.

And that guy over there.

Yes, holding the iPad or whatever that is--

I can't read what it says on your name tag.

-Theo! -Theo!

I'm going to have sex with you, my friend.

I'm going to be all over you.

It's going to be passionate and white-hot.

You're going to melt under my body heat.

So listen up, everyone, there is a new...

sex machine in town, and his name is Lars.

Go tell that to your Russian friend.

Yeah, well, at least he sees me.

I see you every day!

No, you don't.

And I don't like this version of the song.

And I want to go back to the way it was.

Got me?

Where are you going?

You have to focus up. The semifinals are tomorrow.

-And you're blowing it big time. -No.

You are blowing it big time.

You're small, Lars Erickssong.

So small.

And Iceland, your time is up. Please clear the stage.

Look at you.

You are an ugly loser.

Sigrit was right. You are small.

You need to grow up.

I know.

Why did you say you would have sex with all those people? That was ridiculous.

Come on, you embarrassed yourself.

Mm-hmm.

Do you think you'd have a chance with Theo?

-Never. -Never. Not in a million lifetimes.

Eh, duh!

Dude. Yo, dude.

Dude.

Hey, dude, uh, do you know if this is where they shot G.O.T.?

-Huh? -Game of Thrones.

Give me a break, man. Can't you see I was talking to my reflection?

Chill out, bro.

You chill out, bro.

Why do you Americans always say "chill out" like that to everyone?

Jeff, let's go. The guy's nuts.

Wait, I'm nuts?

Hey, Europe is not your party town.

All right? You come over here and you shit on everything.

-Come on. -Show some freaking respect.

All right?

Go home and build your wall.

-You shit-for-brains Americans. -Let's get out of here.

Lars! Lars, they love Starbucks.

Hey, go to Starbucks.

-They have a special for Americans. -Where's the Starbucks?

That Starbucks, it's anywhere you look, okay?

-Oh. -Just smell for the Pumpkin Spice Latte.

Okay, thank you.

I'm not saying "thank you" back.

- Was he trying to help? - I think so.

Goddamn Americans.

- Lars. - Hello?

Hello?

Is someone there?

Hello, Lars.

Holy shit, Katiana.

You are in great danger.

-You must leave Eurovision. -No! I'm not listening to you.

Don't run, Lars!

No!

Come in?

That sweater is very angry.

Hmm. Yeah.

Good.

Why haven't you told him?

It's... It's not that simple.

We have to think about the band.

Okay, but look. Life is long.

And you and Lars have kind of spent most of it together.

But if I had someone like that in my life, I don't think I would let a night of...

nothing come between us.

Nothing?

I'm equally surprised because, you know, I'm very sexy.

I mean, I tried, but he didn't want to.

Wait.

What?

Mm-hmm.

Welcome to the Eurovision Song Contest 2020.

We're about to get underway, so let's go over to this year's hosts,

who are Corin Vladvitch and Sasha More.

Hello, Eurovision! Can you believe it?

Welcome to tonight's very magical, big show!

Yes, we have something, Corin!

It is the night we have all been waiting for...

The semifinals are finally here.

Whoo!

Listen, Sigrit.

Yesterday...

um...

I was angry.

Yeah, I was angry, too. And...

You know what the elves say?

I don't know what the elves say. I don't believe in elves, but...

They say,

-"Anger cannot churn the butter." -Churn the butter.

-Yes, I know that one. -Yeah.

And I think it's really true.

No argument here.

And the song...

I had them to go back to the way the song originally was

before Jae-bong added the "fresh, coz" flow and all the "bish".

Really?

Yes, of course.

-Thank you, Lars. That means a lot to me. -No, it's what's right.

Hey, looking good, Johnny. Huh?

Clown makeup...

Hmm.

-Alexander. -Mita.

Aw...

-This our clown dance. -Yeah.

Why don't you leave them be? We'll find you someone else to play with.

Oh, she is so special, Mita.

With her by my side, I could be bigger than ever.

But she will never be happy.

How you know this?

I will give her everything he cannot.

Not everything.

Meow.

Hello, hello.

Lemtov. Huh.

-Are you performing tonight? -No, but I come to support you.

Fire Saga.

It's very kind of you to come support us, singing together,

as a duo, that will never be separated.

George Michael said same thing about... other Wham! guy.

No one even know his name.

Andrew Ridgeley.

Oh, really?

So guys, I am feeling quite nervous, actually.

What? Why? You don't have even single chance of making it.

Odds-makers say you wont get single vote.

Don't be nervous.

You will be great.

Just... remember what we talk about the other night, okay?

Mmm...

Go, Fire Saga.

What did you talk about with him the other night?

Not that I care. Just curious.

Oh, Lars, it's starting.

-Okay. -Come here.

I'm so nervous, Lars.

Oh...

Okay.

And Belarus came out of the gates kicking.

A very fast start to this year's competition.

And next up is Finland.

And The Wonderfour.

Oh, call the police. Our girl is killing it!

She just--

Dalibor Jinsky, from San Marino, crying for no apparent reason.

And now, Sweden's own, Johnny John John.

-Lars, did you change my costume? -Yes, I did.

-The scarf is so long. -I know, isn't it great? It's extra long.

Uh-huh.

Don't worry. It's for the dimensions of the stage.

Good stuff, huh?

Come on. These guys are awful.

Turn on the song contest. I want to watch Iceland.

Yes! Come on!

What's wrong with you people?

Lars and Sigrit are from our town.

They've grown up with all of us.

Lenderman, did you not teach them both as children?

Steve Gundersson, they played music at your first wedding.

And my fourth.

Oh, shut up. No one wants to watch them.

Oh, the father speaks.

- Mmm. - Poor Erick.

Half the children in this town are probably his.

But the only one who truly loves him, he won't even acknowledge.

We know they're awful, but they're our awful.

I say change the channel and let's take our medicine!

Yeah!

-Whoo! -Yeah!

Ah. Now the moment we've all been waiting for. Iceland.

Every performance is an adventure with this group.

They're called Fire Saga.

And why they're here is anyone's guess.

Okay, so not as bad as we expected.

This is wonderful.

The-- the scarf.

The scarf!

Oh, the scarf!

Sigrit!

Crap! Hold on!

I can fix this!

Ooh and now the hamster wheel is off to the races.

Keep singing!

This is not happening! Ah!

Look out!

I'm in complete control!

Holy shit!

Oh, God!

Sigrit!

-Lars! -Yeah!

Are you okay?

The elves must hate us.

We're hearing voices, so they're not dead.

They're still playing our song.

-Oh! -Come!

Someone is coming through the wheel.

We can do it!

Your microphone.

This is amazing.

And goodbye, Iceland.

I'm so sorry.

I am stunned.

Iceland managed to set a new low bar for Eurovision failure.

And this audience of hysterical fans

have responded in a typically irrational way.

-Wait, where are we going? -Home.

-We're going home to Húsavík. -What?

-Let's go. -No.

-What? -No, no, we have to go back in there.

Why?

Because all of Iceland is watching.

- But... - Our family, our friends, my students.

We cannot let them down.

What do you mean? We already did.

We are a joke.

I'm not going back in there where everyone is going to keep laughing at me.

-Well, I am. -Why?

I am going to go into that artists' area because I am an artist.

And when I see that no votes come in for us,

I'm going to sit there and I'm going to take it

because I know I am more than this contest.

Lars, I have never asked you for anything, ever.

But I am asking you to do this for me.

And I am asking you to go.

Come on.

Please, you're being very selfish right now.

-I'm being selfish? -You are.

You know that all I've ever wanted is to win.

Lemtov was right. You just will never be satisfied.

Lemtov? What-- What does Lemtov know?

He actually knows a lot.

-Like what? -Like, he knows about elves.

-And, uh, how to braid hair. -Okay.

But he doesn't know about us, does he?

There is no us!

There is no us, Lars.

I can't do this anymore.

You don't mean that. He's just putting silly ideas into your head, okay?

No.

I'm going back in there.

Are you coming?

No, I'm not.

Okay, goodbye.

Okay, fine.

Fine, walk away. Go to Lemtov.

And go sing your love song to him, all right?

What?

Yeah, I know all about your song.

I heard you writing it back at the hotel.

So go ahead.

I wrote that song for you.

Goddamn it! Shit!

Shit!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

What the hell, man?

I'm in here!

I'm not sorry!

Hey! Hello?

Somebody?

And now, it's time for you to go to your phones

and text in your votes to the numbers you see on your television screens.

Where is Lars?

He left.

And remember, you cannot vote for your own country.

Then I will stay.

Good evening, Eurovision.

-Thank you. -What a wonderful show we have tonight.

Portugal grants eight points to...

Latvia.

Our ten points go to...

Sweden.

And our 12 points go to...

Greece.

Norway gives eight points to our neighbor Sweden.

Ten points to Greece.

And 12 points to Spain.

Hello, Eurovision.

Coming to you live from Reykjavik, Iceland.

I'm so sorry about tonight.

They were awful. Next year, it will be better. I promise.

We'll send someone else. Just anyone.

But here are the votes from the Icelandic jury.

Eight points go to Greece.

Ten points go to Sweden.

Taxi!

And finally, 12 points go to the Netherlands.

Thank you.

...from Switzerland to Eurovision.

Our eight points go to...

Iceland.

Iceland?

What?

Did we just hear "points for Iceland"?

The TV.

Yes, eight points for Iceland.

What?

Ten points go to Sweden, and 12 points to Greece.

Eight points.

-You sure? -Yes, of course.

Good evening, Europe. Hello, from Czech Republic.

The moment you're all waiting for.

Our eight points go to...

Croatia.

And our ten points go to...

Iceland.

What is happening?

The Eastern Bloc countries are giving votes to Iceland.

This makes no sense.

-Wait, are they saying Iceland? -Iceland.

Romania gives eight points to Iceland.

What?

France gives eight points to Iceland!

Holland gives ten points to...

Iceland!

-I don't understand this. -This is crazy.

This is very crazy.

This is absolutely ridiculous.

Iceland is doing quite well.

It will be up to the popular vote, but they are doing much better

than the odds-makers predicted.

Okay, now Sasha, let's see how the popular vote went

and find out who has made it through to the finale.

The first country through to the final night is...

-Greece! -Greece!

- Yeah! - Well done, Greece!

The second country that will be going to the final is...

Croatia!

Croatia!

Yes, well done, Croatia!

They're not my favorite.

Corin, there are only two more countries that are going to make it into the final.

Getting hot in here.

It's okay, you still have chance.

Well, no.

But you have a lot of points.

Israel!

Yes, Israel! Right on!

And the last country that will make it

for the grand finale on Saturday night will be...

Iceland?

What?

You did it!

Oh, my God!

The numbers are in... Iceland is in?

Oh, my God!

-Yes! Yes! -Yes!

Outstanding!

I'm so happy.

-It's so great. -Yes.

Whoo!

Oh, I love it!

Oh-ho!

It's great.

I wish Lars was here.

Lars.

No.

Lars.

Hey, Stephan.

What are you doing?

I'm taking this rope that's loose and I'm rolling it around

to make it like in a circle.

I'm going to become a fisherman.

And drink myself to death like a real Erickssong man.

This is my new life.

But what about Sigrit?

Rich, hairless Russian guy with a huge dingle-dong came between us.

Shit happens.

Yeah.

Goodbye.

Remember, give up on your dreams now while you're still young.

Ew, it stinks.

Blech! Ptooh!

How can you be a fisherman if you're scared of the fish?

-What, are you joking at me? -Joking at you?

Not in the least.

-No, I'm tired of it. -Tired of what?

I'm tired of you constantly making fun of everything that I do.

I've spent my whole life trying to earn your respect.

And you know what? I don't need it anymore.

I don't want it anymore.

And if you're never going to respect me,

then, so be it. I don't need it, okay?

-Lars. Lars, come here. -How do you get off this boat?

- Where is the exit? - There is no exit.

-It's a boat, Lars. -How do you get off this thing?

Lars, come here.

-Hey. -Hey.

Lars, come here.

-Come here, Lars. -No.

-No. -Lars, come here.

-No. -Stop, stop, stop, stop. Calm down.

Calm, calm, calm. Calm, Lars.

Now what do you see over there? Hmm?

-The land? -That is Iceland.

-It-- It is Iceland, yes. -Yes.

And you have done something for Iceland.

Something great.

Something none of us could ever do.

Your song singing.

It has brought us all great pride.

-No, it was a disaster. -Yes, but you did not quit.

You have Viking spirit in you.

First, I didn't understand that,

until you got back up on that stage

after that stupid hamster wheel went into the audience.

You... didn't quit.

You have always reminded me of your mother.

She passed too soon for the both of us.

She would have been proud of you, Lars.

Oh.

-Good. Yes. -But...

But I did quit.

I left Sigrit all alone. And now, she doesn't want me anymore.

We've had bad luck with the Ericksdóttir women.

What do you mean?

Sigrit's mother, Helka...

she never liked me.

Never wanted anything to do with me.

I've always loved Sigrit.

-How did I let this happen? -Oh, it doesn't matter what happened.

What happens now is that you have to fight for her.

Yes?

You have to fight for her like you fought for that stupid song contest.

Fight for your dream of a life with her.

Fight, like a Viking!

Sorry to disturb, but you two do know that Iceland made it into the Eurovison finals?

-What? -What?

Why the hell didn't you tell me?

-We-- We thought you didn't care. -What?

-Well, we have to turn the boat around. -No, we can't lose a day of fishing.

Sigrit!

Lars!

- Go get her, Lars! - Go get her!

Oh...

Both for me?

Of course.

Okay.

Sigrit, this is not ending.

This is beginning.

What?

Why don't you stay with me after the contest?

Oh...

Alexander, we barely know each other.

Yes, but you are beautiful and kind.

I handsome and rich. This is typically very winning combination.

When we sing, I feel connection that is unique for me.

Hmm.

And if it helps, I can...

throw in Fabergé egg...

personal submersible...

pet tiger.

I don't really care about that stuff.

-I know. -Maybe a tiger.

It can be arranged.

Lars.

Victor. What are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

Can you give me a ride to the airport? We're in the finals of Eurovision.

Yes, I know this. Big news.

-Yeah. Oh, wow. -Yeah.

I was swimming in the water.

- Yeah, I saw that. - Yes.

-Swimming in the water. -It's freezing.

- Yes. - Can you take me somewhere first?

- There's something I need to take care of. - Yeah.

Hey there, elf.

It's me, Lars.

I really messed up.

And I just wanted to come up here to ask of you guys

for any help you can give me.

I don't know how I'm going to fix things with Sigrit, but I have to try.

Okay.

Have a good lunch, or whatever you're doing in there.

Goodbye!

Never understood why half this country still believes in elves.

I know, but Sigrit swears by them.

Iceland continues to have one foot in the Dark Ages, huh?

Our magic and elves.

What are we going to do?

Don't you understand? If you go back to that stupid girl,

you could win that contest, and we cannot have that!

Iceland can't afford it!

We are bankrupt!

And they will point the finger at me!

You really think we could win?

I blew up that boat! I killed all those people!

You should have been--

Thank you!

Enjoy the biscuits!

I'll just leave the knife here,

in case you have to do other murders!

Welcome to tonight's grand finale of the Eurovision Song Contest.

It is the biggest night of the year.

And the one we have all been waiting for.

Where's Victor?

I-- I don't know. Do you?

I left him a couple of messages, but he never responded.

He's gonna be so bummed out if he misses this.

Yes, if he's not here, he's gonna miss it.

Let the grand finale of the Eurovision Song Contest begin!

-Where the hell is everyone? -At home, watching Eurovision.

Oh...

Hey!

Hello. Stop!

Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!

Whoa, hey!

Americans.

-That the guy from the fountain? -Oh, my God. What is he wearing?

Hey! Americans, my best friends.

New York Jets, right? Take my horse down to Old Town Road?

Yes, I need a ride, okay?

We're going to Paris, bro.

No, Paris is a dump. You don't want to go there.

Trust me, it's horrible.

You need to take me to Eurovision Song Contest.

-Okay? We cool? -What?

Jamba Juice! Come on, let's go.

Dude, this is a rental. I gotta take this back.

-He's getting in the car? -Oh, my God.

Yeah, that's great. Close the door, close it.

- What? - We can't.

Come on, let's go, bro.

Pedal to the metal.

I need to get to Sigrit. She goes on in ten minutes.

This is crazy.

And now the Russian performer, Alexander Lemtov.

The favorite still, with his song "Lion of Love."

Jeff, bro, man. Come on.

Put the pedal to the metal. Let's go!

What about the speed limit?

There is no speed limit in all of Europe.

You can go any speed.

Oh... cool.

There you go. Okay.

Jeff got some balls.

They may be small, but you've got them.

-Whoa. -I know, I'm so scared.

Whoo!

Can you let me out the car, please? This is scary. Just stop the car.

Shh! Quiet!

You need to relax 'cause otherwise you're going to get thrown out on the next turn.

Oh, my--

Jeff, drive! Keep driving!

You're doing great!

Super thumbs up! Go!

Turn, Jeff. Turn!

So, is Eurovision like The Voice?

Would you shut up? No! It's not like The Voice.

Is that it over there?

Yes! Of course it is, you shithead!

It says Eurovision right on it. Don't slow down!

Ah. Here's my stop.

-Yes! We made it! Eurovision. -Oh, my God.

All right. Hey! Thank you, Americans! You're awful people! Ha-ha!

No, but seriously! Don't come to Iceland!

We don't want you! You might be killed by elves!

-That was amazing! -My God.

I know, I know.

Thank you, thank you.

Oh, my God.

Oh! Tonight we conquer stage, tomorrow the world.

Um... uh... Lemtov, I need to ask you something.

-Sure, sure. -Okay.

Uh...

Are you gay?

What?

No! No, no! Of course not. I am Russian.

-No? -There no gay people in Russia.

Statistically speaking, I think that's impossible.

-I assure you. Hundred percent. -Gender-fluid?

Fact of truth. No gay Russian.

-Non-binary? -No, non-binary. I, he, him pronoun.

He, him.

-Okay. -Hmm.

Well, um...

so a lot has happened since I came here, and--

Shh. We talk about this later time.

This your moment.

You go, sing your heart out.

Okay?

- Okay? - Okay.

Go.

I am here, Corin, the green room, where only the artists can sit...

Hello, Helka.

Come in.

Oh, shit!

-Lars... -No, come on. I'm running late.

Lars, please. You must listen to me.

Fuck it. What?

Your life is in danger.

Victor Karlosson killed me. He blew me up on the boat

and now he's going to try to kill you.

Where have you been? Seriously.

Have you not been using your ghost powers to watch anything that's happening?

He already tried. He's dead.

-What? -Yes, he already tried.

Yeah. So, like, come on. Seriously. Thank you so much. Is that it?

Goodbye, Lars.

She's not a very helpful ghost.

Iceland is next.

The audience have been warned.

Fire marshals are standing by.

Go, Iceland!

It appears only one half of Fire Saga will be performing tonight.

Why are you laughing? I'm trying to have a fist fight with you!

You hit me but it's very light.

It's almost relaxing.

You stay away from her.

Lars, it's too late.

You are the one who should stay away.

You can give her nothing.

I give her everything.

Comfort, security, mansion, palace, Wi-Fi every room.

What you give her?

Nothing.

-It's quite an impressive list. -Thank you.

Stop. Stop, stop the music, please! Stop. Stop.

Lars!

Here we go. Another adventure with the Icelanders.

My name is Lars Erickssong from Iceland.

And I’m sorry to be messing up the show.

I shouldn’t. I... I love this show.

The Eurovision Song Contest means everything to me.

It is my life.

Ever since I was a small child,

I always dreamed of winning the contest.

But...

as most of you know, Eurovision is much more than a competition.

The music is not a contest.

And the perfect song isn't the winning song,

but a song that comes from the heart.

We'll be disqualified.

Just sing.

She's singing in Icelandic.

Gorgeous!

Speorg note.

That was beautiful!

Quite beautiful, really.

They will, of course, be disqualified for changing their song,

but quite beautiful.

I see you.

There you are.

Here I am.

I’m checking you out.

I’m checking you out.

Fire Saga!

- Fire Saga! - Fire Saga!

Fire Saga!

Fire Saga!

Sigrit Ericksdóttir!

-Oh... -Good for you, Alexander.

I still win, of course, but...

I am happy for them.

How could I not be? Hmm?

You deserve to be happy, too.

Mother Russia does not agree.

Aww...

-Come to Greece with me. -Hmm.

I do like the statues.

Maybe we get a yacht. I look fantastic with tan.

Wouldn't know, I haven't seen you with a real one.

Oh...

Hug me.

Oh-ho!

Hey!

Wow!

-Whoa! Thank you! -Hi!

Thank you!

Okay!

Papa...

Yes!

Whoo!

Thank you! Thank you!

We have a wonderful celebration tonight.

Big congratulations to Erick and Helka!

Yes!

Aww...

-That's never not going to be weird. -No. Super not.

Do the tongue too.

-Ugh... -And a thumbs up.

Okay. You don't have to do the thumbs up, Dad.

Iceland rules!

-Whoo! -Yeah!

Hey, Americans! Are you having a good time in Iceland?

-Yeah! -Yeah!

- Well, we hate that you're here. - Yeah!

Yeah! So why don't you go back home, all right?

Don't you have some traffic to sit in

with your monster trucks and your chili corn dogs?

-Yeah. -Okay, Lars.

Why, I have some opiates for you, you can take,

while you over leverage your credit cards

-and you buy too many houses. -Okay. Wow.

-Yes! How does that feel? -Hey! Hey!

No, I'm not done! I hate you! I hate your guts!

Who wants to hear a Eurovision song?

No!

Play "Ja Ja Ding Dong"!

"Ja Ja Ding Dong"!

Play it!

"Ja Ja Ding Dong"!

Here we go!

One, two, a one, two, three, four.

All right, everyone, move your body. Whoo!

Come on, everyone!

Yeah!

Okay, how about the Eurovision song now?

No!

All right. Fair enough!