Original subtitles

[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING!

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

>> GRFT: [ ROARS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING!

[ ZIP! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING!

GOOD MORNING!

>> Belly Bag: GOOD MORNING,

UNCLE GRANDPA.

>> Uncle Grandpa: BELLY BAG,

WHAT DOES UNCLE GRANDPA HAVE IN

STORE FOR US TODAY?

>> Belly Bag: WHY DON'T YOU TELL

ME?

YOU'RE UNCLE GRANDPA.

>> Uncle Grandpa: I AM? YES!

GOOD MORNING, MR. GUS.

>> Mr. Gus: IT'S 3:00 IN THE

AFTER--

>> Uncle Grandpa: SHOW ME YOUR

MUSCLES.

[ CREAK! ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: THANKS.

>> Pizza Steve: YOU'RE WELCOME,

UNCLE GRANDPA.

>> Uncle Grandpa: PIZZA STEVE!

HAND HUG.

[ CLICK! CREAK! ]

>> Pizza Steve: YOU KNOW I

INVENTED THE HAND HUG.

>> Uncle Grandpa: YOU DID?

>> Pizza Steve: YEP.

THAT AND ELEPHANTS.

>> Mr. Gus: YOU DIDN'T INVENT

ELEPHANTS.

THE ELEPHANT EVOLVED OVER

MILLIONS OF --

>> Uncle Grandpa: WHOA!

YOU'RE THE COOLEST, PIZZA STEVE.

>> Pizza Steve: I KNOW.

>> Belly Bag: HEY, PIZZA STEVE,

DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING

TODAY?

>> Pizza Steve: DON'T YOU GUYS

REMEMBER?

UNCLE GRANDPA SET US ALL UP ON

MYSTERY DATES TONIGHT.

>> Uncle Grandpa: I DID? YES!

>> Mr. Gus: BUT IF WE'RE ALL OUT

ON MYSTERY DATES, WHO'S GONNA

WATCH THE R.V. WHILE WE'RE GONE?

>> Uncle Grandpa: NOTHING TO

WORRY ABOUT.

I INSTALLED A SECURITY SYSTEM

2,000 YEARS AGO.

>> Mr. Gus: UNCLE GRANDPA, I

DON'T THINK A BARBARIAN CLUB IS

A VERY GOOD SECURITY SYSTEM

ANYMORE.

>> Pizza Steve: PLUS, IT'S BEEN

BUSTED FOR YEARS.

>> Uncle Grandpa: WE JUST NEED

TO FIX IT AND UPDATE THE O.S. A

LITTLE BIT.

[ BEEPING, BUZZING ]

THERE. O.S. UPDATED.

NOW WE CAN GO ON OUR MYSTERY

DATES AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY

ABOUT ANYONE STEALING OUR COOL

STUFF.

>> Mr. Gus: LET'S HOPE IT WORKS.

BUT I HAVE ONE MORE QUESTION.

IF WE'RE ALL DOING THIS, THEN

WHO'S DRIVING?

[ ALL GROAN ]

>> Pizza Steve: WE CRASHED!

>> Mr. Gus: YOU KNOW WHAT THAT

MEANS.

>> Uncle Grandpa: I GOT TO GO

MAKE SOME KID'S WILDEST DREAMS

COME TRUE!

>> Mr. Gus: OKAY, BUT HURRY

BACK.

WE CAN'T GO ON OUR MYSTERY DATES

WITHOUT YOU.

>> Pizza Steve: YEAH, YOU'RE OUR

HOOK-UP!

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING!

[ CRICKETS CHIRPING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: [ GROWLS ]

>> THANKS FOR HELPING ME WITH MY

PIANO RECITAL, UNCLE GRANDPA.

>> Uncle Grandpa: GOOD MORNING.

[ POP! ]

NOW TIME TO CRUISE OVER TO OUR

MYSTERY DATES.

[ SQUEAKS ]

[ BEEPING, BUZZING ]

OH, NO! I'M LOCKED OUT!

>> Belly Bag: BUT WHAT ABOUT OUR

MYSTERY DATES?!

>> Uncle Grandpa: NOT TO WORRY,

MORNING GLORY.

I'LL JUST USE MY SUPER-SECRET

PASSWORD KNOCK TO OPEN THE DOOR.

HELP! HELP! LET ME IN!

LET ME IN! AAH! LET ME IN!

AAH! AAH! AAH! LET ME IN!

LET ME IN! HELP!

I CAN'T BELIEVE PIZZA STEVE AND

MR. GUS DIDN'T HEAR MY

SUPER-SECRET PASSWORD KNOCK.

LET'S LOOK THROUGH THE WINDOW

AND GET THEIR ATTENTION.

[ WHOOSH! ]

[ POP! SQUEAK! ]

NOT IN THE OFFICE.

[ WHOOSH! WHOOSH! ]

[ POP! SQUEAK! ]

[ ANIMALS SCREECHING ]

NOT IN THE BATHROOM.

[ WHOOSH! WHOOSH! ]

[ POP! SQUEAK! ]

LET ME IN! LET ME IN!

[ ALL SCREAMING ]

[ ZIP! ZIP! ]

SORRY. WRONG WINDOW.

[ WHOOSH! WHOOSH! ]

WELL, I WAS HOPING IT WOULDN'T

HAVE TO COME TO THIS.

>> Belly Bag: NO, UNCLE GRANDPA!

YOU DON'T MEAN...

>> Uncle Grandpa: YEP.

PIZZA STEVE, MR. GUS,

GIANT REALISTIC FLYING TIGER,

AND YOU ARE COUNTING ON ME, AND

NO BEAUTIFUL DOOR IS GONNA STAND

IN THE WAY OF ME BRINGING MY

BEST-FRIEND ROOMMATES ON OUR

MYSTERY DATES.

>> Belly Bag: THAT'S CRAZY, MAN!

YOU BETTER BACK UP A LITTLE BIT!

>> Uncle Grandpa: YOU'RE RIGHT.

I BETTER BACK UP.

I DON'T WANT TO DESTROY THE R.V.

I JUST WANT TO BREAK THE DOOR

DOWN.

AHH! AHH! AHH! AHH!

[ CREAK! ]

[ SQUEAK! SLOOP! ]

[ ALARM BLARING ]

>> Pizza Steve: OH, NO!

SOMEONE MUST BE TRYING TO BREAK

IN TO STEAL ALL OF PIZZA STEVE'S

COOL PIZZA STUFF.

AND IT'S UP TO YOU TO PROTECT

US, MR. GUS.

DON'T YOU THINK YOU COULD HAVE

PICKED A BETTER WEAPON THAN A

SPOON?

>> Mr. Gus: IT'S THE ONLY THING

I COULD FIND ON SHORT NOTICE.

WHAT WEAPON DID YOU CHOOSE?

>> Pizza Steve: MY MIND IS A

LETHAL WEAPON.

>> Mr. Gus: TOO BAD IT'S NEVER

LOADED.

>> Pizza Steve: WAIT!

I HEAR SOMETHING! LOOK!

OVER IN THAT BUSH.

OKAY, LIKE WE TALKED ABOUT --

YOU SCOOP HIS FACE OFF, WHILE I

SCREAM LIKE A LITTLE GIRL.

>> Uncle Grandpa: [ PANTING ]

>> Pizza Steve: [ SHRIEKS ]

>> Mr. Gus: UNCLE GRANDPA.

>> Uncle Grandpa: [ Panting ]

GOOD...

MORNING.

>> Mr. Gus: WHAT'S GOING ON?

WE THOUGHT SOMEONE WAS TRYING TO

BREAK IN.

>> Uncle Grandpa: I CAN EXPLAIN.

OKAY, SO, JUST LIKE YOU, I WAS

OUTSIDE, AND...

[ Muffled ] YOU WERE INSIDE,

LIKE THIS.

AND THEN WHEN I TRIED TO OPEN

THE DOOR, IT WAS LOCKED, LIKE

THIS.

[ ALARM BLARING ]

OH, NO.

NOW I'M LOCKED INSIDE FROM THE

OUTSIDE!

>> Pizza Steve: TURN OFF THAT

DUMB ALARM!

WE CAN HARDLY HEAR YOU!

>> Uncle Grandpa: WHAT?!

I CAN HARDLY HEAR YOU!

I BETTER TURN OFF THIS DUMB

ALARM.

[ BEEPING ]

>> SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE

ACTIVATED.

>> Uncle Grandpa: OOPS.

[ SQUEAK! ]

>> Mr. Gus: IT'S LOCKED.

>> Uncle Grandpa: HELP! HELP!

YOU GUYS GOT TO GET ME OUT OF

HERE!

>> Pizza Steve: THAT'S IT.

WE'RE NEVER GONNA MAKE IT TO OUR

MYSTERY DATES NOW.

>> Mr. Gus: YOU KNOW WHAT WE

NEED TO GET US OUT OF THIS?

WE NEED TO CALL UNCLE GRANDPA.

>> Pizza Steve: DUH!

BUT HE'S LOCKED IN THE R.V.

>> Mr. Gus: IT'S WORTH A TRY.

BULLOO-OO-WOOT!

BULLOO-OO-WOOT!

BULLOO-OO-WOOT!

>> Pizza Steve: PLEASE.

THAT'S NOT HOW YOU CALL

UNCLE GRANDPA.

>> Mr. Gus: BULLOO-OO-WOOT!

IT'S NOT?

>> Pizza Steve: ALLOW ME.

[ ZIP! WHOOSH! ]

[ SMOOTH JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa 2: GOOD

MORNING.

WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM?

>> Uncle Grandpa: [ Muffled ]

I'M LOCKED INSIDE AND I

ACCIDENTALLY SET OFF THE

SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE.

YOU GOT TO SAVE ME!

>> Uncle Grandpa 2: OH, THAT'S

EASY.

WE'VE JUST GOT TO DISARM THE

SECURITY SYSTEM.

>> Pizza Steve: OKAY. SO, WHAT?

WE ENTER AN OVERRIDE CODE?

>> Mr. Gus: OR CUT THE RED WIRE

OR SOMETHING?

>> Uncle Grandpa 2: NO.

WE JUST RIP OFF ITS ARMS.

>> Pizza Steve: WHAT ARMS?

>> Uncle Grandpa 2: THOSE ARMS.

'CAUSE WHEN THE U.G. R.V.

SELF-DESTRUCTS, IT DESTRUCTS

ITSELF AND EVERYTHING ELSE IN

THE WORLD.

[ THUNDER CRASHES, RUMBLING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: [ SCREAMS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa 2: ALL RIGHT,

LADY AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S HAMMER

TIME!

AHHH!

[ WHOOSH! ]

PIZZA...SLICE!

>> Pizza Steve: [ SCREAMS ]

>> Uncle Grandpa 2: IT'S YOUR

TURN, MR. GUS.

>> Mr. Gus: JUST IN CASE I DON'T

MAKE IT BACK, THANKS FOR

EVERYTHING, UNCLE GRANDPA.

>> Uncle Grandpa 2: DON'T

MENTION IT.

>> Uncle Grandpa: AAH! AAH!

[ GROANS ]

OH, THERE'S MY FAVORITE, BANANA!

>> Uncle Grandpa 2: OKAY,

MR. GUS, YOU HOLD IT DOWN.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF THE REST.

BELLY BAG, YOU READY FOR THIS?

>> Belly Bag: IS A FAT BABY

FUNKY?

>> Uncle Grandpa 2: OF COURSE IT

IS.

AHHHH!

[ CLINK! CLINK! CLINK! ]

[ CRACK! ]

[ CLOP! ]

[ CREAK! WHIP! WHIP! WHIP! ]

[ ZIP! ]

[ CRUNCH! ]

HOLD HER STEADY, MR. GUS.

>> Mr. Gus: [ STRAINING ]

[ ZAPPING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: [ GROANS ]

GOOD MORNING.

>> Pizza Steve: THAT WAS

AWESOME!

>> Uncle Grandpa: YEAH.

FUN TIMES.

AND, IF WE HURRY, WE CAN STILL

MAKE OUR MYSTERY DATES.

>> Belly Bag: I CAN'T BELIEVE

WE'VE BEEN STOOD UP!

>> Pizza Steve: THIS HAS NEVER

HAPPENED TO PIZZA STEVE BEFORE.

HOW DARE THOSE WOMEN?

>> Mr. Gus: I GUESS I'M NEVER

GETTING MARRIED.

[ ALL PANTING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa 2: GOOD

MORNING.

SORRY WE'RE LATE.

I GOT LOCKED OUT.

>> All: HUH?

>> Mr. Gus: SO, YOU GOT US

MYSTERY DATES...

>> Pizza Steve: WITH OURSELVES?

>> Uncle Grandpa: YEAH.

PRETTY MYSTERIOUS, HUH?

>> GRFT 2: [ GROWLING ]

>> Belly Bag 2: NICE! COOL!

SOMEONE'S BEEN READING MY DIARY.

>> Pizza Steve: MAGIC!

>> Belly Bag: NICE!

OH, THIS IS PERFECT!

NOBODY LOVES US MORE THAN

OURSELVES.

YOU'RE THE BEST, UNCLE GRANDPAS.

>> Both: WE ARE? YES!

>> Uncle Grandpa: PIZZA STEVE!

PIZZA STEVE!

WHERE ARE YOU, DUDE?

PIZZA...STEVE!!

HMM. I WONDER WHERE PIZZA STEVE

IS.

PIZZA STEVE!

>> Pizza Steve: [ MUFFLED

SCREAMING ]

[ ENGINE REVVING ]

[ BEEP ]

>> [ HISSING ]

>> [ SNIFFS ]

>> HEY, LADY.

WHAT'S THE MATTER, LADY?

NEED SOME GAS?

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> YEAH, LADY.

THERE'S NO GAS HERE FOR Y--

>> I DON'T LIKE YOUR MOUTH.

[ CREAK! ]

[ WHOOSH! ]

[ ZAPPING ]

>> AHHH!

>> HEY, LADY.

WAIT, LADY.

WE WERE JUST TRYING TO TELL

YOU -- THERE'S NO GAS HERE FOR

YOU.

THERE'S NO GAS HERE FOR ANYONE.

[ FLIES BUZZING ]

>> OOPS.

SO, WHERE CAN I GET SOME GAS?

[ ZAPPING ]

OOPS.

[ HORN BLARES ]

YUMMY.

[ ENGINE REVVING ]

>> Uncle Grandpa: MMM! MMM!

>> Belly Bag: HEY,

UNCLE GRANDPA, HOW'S YOUR LUNCH

BREAK?

>> Uncle Grandpa: HUH. I DON'T

KNOW.

HEY, MR. GUS, HOW'S MY LUNCH

BREAK, AGAIN?

[ CRACK! ]

>> Mr. Gus: YOUR LUNCH BREAKS

LIKE THAT.

>> Belly Bag: WOW!

>> THAT WAS QUITE DELICIOUS.