Original subtitles

♪ Magic is real here ♪

♪ Far away from home ♪

♪ Anything can happen ♪

♪ When witches make the rules ♪

♪ Monsters are cool ♪

♪ The moon is our friend ♪

♪ I wanna stay with you ♪

♪ On Summer Camp Island ♪

♪♪

♪ UMPS, UMPS, UMPS ♪

♪ We're going to UMPS, UMPS, UMPS ♪

♪ Gonna mail a letter to my mom at UMPS, UMPS, UMPS ♪

♪ Gonna buy a stamp at UMPS, UMPS, UMPS ♪

♪ Gonna stand in line at UMPS, UMPS, UMPS ♪

♪ Gonna register to vote at UMPS! ♪

Hey, I told Barb we'd take her letters to UMPS, too!

Can we swing by the Soundhouse?

Oh, yeah, of course.

Barb is like our camp mom.

Anything for her.

I can't hear you!

Is there any way you can show me what you're saying?

Uh...sure!

I said, "Barb...

is like our camp... mom!"

Are you saying Barb is like our camp mom?

♪ Doodle oodle oodle oodle oodle do! ♪

Whuh!

Huh! [ Claps ]

Barb! Letters! Barb! Letters!

[ Gasps ] [ Gasps ]

Hey, guys. I'm having a hard time.

A hard time? With what?

Making a decision.

What's the problem, Barb?

Can't decide between "yours truly" or "sincerely"?

No, it's not that.

I can't decide between husbands.

[ Gasps ] [ Gasps ]

Yeah, sorry. It's actually quite personal.

But I feel like I can share with you guys

because I like to think of myself as your camp mom.

I felt like having a romance, so I got two suitors --

Harry and Barry --

but I can't pick who to marry!

Scary.

But if I don't pick one today, I'll lose them both!

Can't you just invent something to help you decide?

You think I haven't tried?

The Romance Balance!

It tracks how I'm feeling about both suitors

and balances out accordingly.

If I'm hearing correctly,

whoever you pick will essentially be our camp dad,

and I'm an excellent judge of dads.

I mean character. No, wait. I mean dads.

I think what Oscar is trying to say is, "We can help."

Tell us about 'em.

Well, there's Harry, the confident adventurer.

He wrestles bears and then drags them to the hospital

if they get injured. Wow!

And then there's Barry, the sensitive greeting-card writer.

Greeting cards? Like for Mother's Day?

And stuff like that? Wow.

I guess I just can't decide who's gonna make a better hubby.

Okay, quick -- who should I marry?

Barry! Harry!

Ugh! You cancel each other out!

What if...

you invite them both here and give them a hubby test?

Yeah, okay!

Great! I'm gonna go grab my ocarina!

Get ready for camp dad Harry!

I think you mean camp dad Barry.

Harry, Barry, please report to the Soundhouse!

♪♪

Ooh.

Harry! Oh, and, Barry!

It's so good to see you both!

And who do we have back there?

Oh, this is Oscar and Hedgehog.

They're my, uh...

Kids! For today!

Yeah, just -- just go with it.

Well, anyone important to Barb is important to me.

[ Chuckles ]

Alright, fellas. Here's the plan.

I'm going to put each of you in a marriage-like scenario.

Harry, you're up first.

Barry, go play us a fun tune on the bridge.

Happy to.

[ Mid-tempo music playing ]

Harry, here's your scenario.

We just returned from an Alaskan cruise

after I invented the idea of "Getting Away From It All,"

and our house keys...

[ Whip! Whistle! Splash! ]

...neither of us can find them!

What do you do?! Ooh! How was Alaska?

What? Was it fun?

Did we go up the inside passage?

Ooh, did we see any bears?

Oh! Did we wrestle 'em?!

[ Grunts ] Okay. No, no, no.

Enough with the wrestling of the bears!

We're locked out of our house!

We're starving!

Barb hasn't eaten since Nova Scotia.

Uh.

What do you do, Harry?

You got this, Harry!

Or... it's okay if you don't.

There's no shame in failure.

No. I do have this.

First, I take these edible goo goo berries

that I foraged earlier in the day,

but we do not eat them.

Instead, we use them to lure a wild creature

that only I know about from years of exploration.

[ Sniffing ]

[ Snorts ]

Oh, geez!

[ Snorting ]

And now we will go inside, where I will wrestle up

some butter and noodles for you.

[ Laughing ] Oh, Harry, I think you mean "rustle."

[ Laughs ] You're so burly!

Oh, man!

Come on. You gotta admit Harry is pretty cool.

Oscar, Hedgehog,

while Harry is, uh, cooking...

Rahhh!

Ahh-ohh! [ Groaning ]

...can you go see if Barry is ready for his test?

[ Minor melody plays ]

Barry, Barb's ready for you!

Oh! Great. [ Chuckles nervously ]

[ Sobs ]

Barry, what's wrong?

Why did she hang out with Harry first?

She likes him more! No, Barry!

She's saving the best for last.

That is one of her most famous inventions --

saving the best for last!

Oh. Okay. Thank you, guys.

My toupee!

[ Rip! ] Ohh!

Aha!

Uh, there!

I love it!

Oh, Oscar, you gave me the confidence I need

to ace this test!

You're welcome, Dad.

Barb: Oscar and Hedgehog,

please bring Barry to the forest for the next test.

My next fake scenario takes place in a grocery store.

Harry, I'll see you back at the house.

[ Smooches ]

Ha ha! She'll certainly choose me!

But, just in case, I'll spy on them from this bush,

but I'll spy with confidence so it's not creepy.

I better flex these peepers so I don't miss anything.

[ Grunts ]

Ocular six-pack!

Okay. Bring out Barry.

Here I come! Barb!

You like my new 'do, Barbieboo?

You like my new 'do, Barbieboo?

Barry?

Where to?

I'd go anywhere with a beauty like you.

Where's this confidence coming from?

You're never like this in your letters.

I love it.

What?! Oh, no.

Barry, your marriage scenario is "Fight in the Supermarket."

If I want to know what it's like to be married to you,

I have to know what it's like to get into a fight with you.

Really?

I don't know. That just sounds...

silly! What?

What kind of test is that?

I've never heard anything more ridiculous in my life!

How dare you?!

Did you forget to draw a brain under that hair?

Oh, yes! Oh, no!

You're causing a scene!

Scene? I would never cause a scene...

by fighting with my sweetie in a supermarket.

[ Smooches ]

Oh, Barry! I was so worried you wouldn't be able

to stand up for yourself in a fight,

but you started one with me, and I didn't even notice!

You know, I think I'm gonna choose you!

[ Sobbing ] Oh, no!

Harry! If you want Barb,

it's time for some personal growth.

Barry is more confident,

so you need to be more sensitive.

For you, I will flex my two secret muscles,

called poetry and tasteful lighting!

Harry, I've made my decision, and you not gonna like it.

Please, Barbara. I have something in my heart,

and it must be allowed to soar out, like an eagle.

What's going on?

Your eyes -- two moonlit pools.

I would love to dive into them

if I was smaller and also two people.

Your ideas -- beautiful, too.

I would also love to dive into them if they were also pools.

Whoa.

The end.

Oh, Harry!

When did you get so sensitive?

Yes, I wonder.

You helped Harry!

You helped Barry!

Grrrr! Grrrr!

Barb: Kids! This is too hard!

Harry was confident. Barry was sensitive.

Now they're both both.

Even the scale is overwhelmed.

I didn't want to do this, but we're gonna have to resort

to one of the most ancient methods of decision-making --

a duel... on a tightrope...

with plastic swords,

and the first one to fall off loses.

There will be no safety net.

Ahem! Oh, okay.

There will be a safety net.

Barb's hand is mine!

I hope I can use this

as material for my next greeting card!

Hey! [ Grunts ]

Wah! You're surprisingly good

at swordfighting.

Yah! Wah! Whoa!

It's actually pretty similar... [ Groaning ]

...to writing greeting cards. Huh!

You just have to put your feelings into it.

You're really great at it, though.

Thanks!

Why are they talking so much?

Hyah!

[ Whirl! Whirl! Whirl! ]

Wow.

Aah-aah-aah-aah!

Whoa! Whoa! Harry!

Whoa! Harry. Barry. [ Gasps ]

Oh, great fight, Barry.

Great fight, Harry.

Okay, fellas. I've made a decision.

As I was watching you fall, I felt...

nothing. What?

Not wanting to marry either of you inspired me

to come up with my new invention,

The Third Option!

We're always faced with "Either/Or," "Harry or Barry."

But there's usually a third option,

partially hidden from view.

And my third option...is me!

But what about our new camp dad?

I'm enough mom to be your dad, too.

It's too bad after you wrote her

that one great letter about beetle migrations.

Oh. Well, I couldn't have written it without your editing.

You really brought the themes out.

Did you guys write Barb's love letters together?

Not at first, but we met each other at UMPS one day

and realized we had so much in common.

Harry: We were both writing letters to Barb,

we both love marriage competitions...

Barry: And we both hate fighting in the supermarket.

Harry's my best friend.

Well, I've never met anyone like Barry. Heh.

Barry, will you be my first, second, and third option?

I was just about to send out a greeting card that said that.

[ Squeals ]

Here. We packed you a picnic for the road.

Thanks, everyone! This was fun! Thanks, everyone! This was fun!

See you later!

Come on, kids.

Let's go plan my wedding to myself!

♪♪

♪♪