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00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:04,884
[theme music playing]
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00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:27,493
-[airplane whooshing]
-[bird squawking]
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00:00:27,493 --> 00:00:29,797
[pilot] Thank you for flying
Apollonian Airlines.
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00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:32,533
We are beginning our
final descent into Themyscira.
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00:00:32,598 --> 00:00:35,234
Please make sure your baggage
is properly stowed.
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00:00:35,234 --> 00:00:37,204
A friendly reminder that
any man who dares
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00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:39,206
enter the island
will be killed on arrival.
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00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:41,441
-[Harley] Ah!
-[pilot] Enjoy your visit.
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00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:43,243
Here's your crown,
here's your sash.
10
00:00:43,243 --> 00:00:45,445
Here's a reusable penis straw
made of recycled metals,
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00:00:45,445 --> 00:00:47,179
and its cleaning wand
and a carrying pouch.
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00:00:47,179 --> 00:00:49,649
Look at you, makin' your list,
checkin' it twice.
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00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:52,652
You only get
bachelorette weekend-ed once!
14
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,353
I'm gonna check on
the other girls.
15
00:00:56,622 --> 00:00:58,725
Mrs. Freeze in da house!
16
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:00,627
You ready for the best weekend
of your life?
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00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:02,529
Don't waste your breath.
18
00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:05,231
I know I'm just a pity invite
because you killed my husband.
19
00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:06,500
Technically he killed himself.
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00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:07,867
But you still came.
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00:01:07,935 --> 00:01:10,135
That means you're open
to having a good time.
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00:01:10,203 --> 00:01:11,704
Well, not really.
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00:01:11,704 --> 00:01:14,140
But I've never been
to an all-female island before.
24
00:01:14,206 --> 00:01:16,475
Seems like it'll be great
for crying.
25
00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:17,578
Hey, Jen!
26
00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:19,212
[chuckles] It's Jennifer.
27
00:01:19,212 --> 00:01:21,248
Ah, so glad you could
make it from Michigan.
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00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:22,882
Must be hard
leaving your four kids.
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00:01:22,882 --> 00:01:25,284
Would've been easier
if I was the maid of honor.
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00:01:25,284 --> 00:01:27,254
You know, Ivy and I
went to kindergarten together
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00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:29,355
and we always said we'd
be each other's maids of honor.
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00:01:29,355 --> 00:01:30,757
-[chuckles]
-So cool.
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00:01:30,823 --> 00:01:32,325
So special. [gasps]
34
00:01:32,391 --> 00:01:33,826
Wow, gross,
that must happen a lot.
35
00:01:33,894 --> 00:01:35,394
[gasps]
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[Jennifer] Ah.
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00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,731
-This is free, right?
-Yep, cheers.
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00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:42,436
Ugh. Why did I
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00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,170
pay for first class
if you're just gonna
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00:01:44,170 --> 00:01:45,805
-burst in here.
-The curtain's invisible.
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00:01:45,805 --> 00:01:47,540
I'm just makin' sure you have
everything you need.
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00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:49,308
Can I show you how to wash
your reusable straw?
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00:01:49,308 --> 00:01:51,644
You have two minutes
until my Ambien kicks in.
44
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:53,179
But we're about to land.
45
00:01:53,179 --> 00:01:54,548
Mmm-hmm, I'm trying
to catnap through
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00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:56,248
as much of this weekend
as possible.
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00:01:59,352 --> 00:02:01,487
Everyone's ready to party!
[whooping]
48
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:03,590
I'm so excited for you
to marry Kite Man.
49
00:02:03,599 --> 00:02:05,626
Me, too. I mean,
I love him, you know.
50
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,260
And I love him!
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00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:09,763
Ugh! I mean, if you
didn't marry Kite Man, I would!
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00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:11,731
-Oh, okay.
-Yeah, 1,000%.
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00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:13,699
I'm gonna set you up
for the best marriage ever
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00:02:13,699 --> 00:02:15,002
by making
your bachelorette party
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the best weekend of your life!
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00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:21,507
-[Harley sniffs]
-[Poison Ivy clears throat]
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00:02:24,443 --> 00:02:27,593
[theme music playing]
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00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:35,421
[Poison Ivy] Wow. This is
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00:02:35,421 --> 00:02:37,223
the most beautiful place
I've ever seen.
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00:02:37,289 --> 00:02:39,759
Themyscira Resort works with
the natural landscape.
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00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:40,894
It's so you.
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Okay! We're here.
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00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:46,348
Everyone out of
the invisible van!
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00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:50,837
[yawns]
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00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:56,408
Harley! I'm Eris,
the resort manager.
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00:02:56,408 --> 00:02:57,877
We spoke on the phone.
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00:02:57,877 --> 00:03:00,514
I hope you ladies are ready
for the VIP treatment.
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00:03:00,580 --> 00:03:03,550
This all feels like
oddly corporate
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00:03:03,550 --> 00:03:04,884
for the Amazons.
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00:03:04,884 --> 00:03:06,353
I mean,
they don't seem like the type
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00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:08,420
to offer soap concierge.
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00:03:08,420 --> 00:03:10,456
Oh, Svetlana knows her suds.
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00:03:10,456 --> 00:03:13,894
The economy has been booming
since Wonder Woman disappeared,
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00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:15,228
and Queen Hippolyta
brought me on
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00:03:15,294 --> 00:03:17,497
to keep that momentum going.
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00:03:17,563 --> 00:03:20,300
Hope and Mercy here
will escort you to your suites.
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00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:22,902
Take lots of pics
and don't forget to tag us.
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00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:26,973
Itineraries are in your rooms.
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00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,408
Everyone meet in the lobby
in 20 for our spa treatments.
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00:03:29,408 --> 00:03:31,444
I have never seen you
with a clipboard.
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00:03:31,444 --> 00:03:33,046
I mean, I'm...
I'm like impressed with it,
82
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,500
but it's also
kinda freaking me out.
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00:03:34,500 --> 00:03:37,584
It's all for you,
Poison Bridey. [chuckles]
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00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:39,986
How excited are you to party
with all your besties?
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00:03:39,986 --> 00:03:42,923
Uh, look, I know this isn't
like a friend group
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00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:45,358
so much as, like, a disparate
collection of strange women
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00:03:45,358 --> 00:03:46,627
I glommed on to during the most
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00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:48,027
difficult stages
of my life, so...
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00:03:48,094 --> 00:03:49,830
You deserve a fun girls' trip.
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00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:50,900
And so do they.
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00:03:50,900 --> 00:03:52,532
I already took the safe out
of Catwoman's room,
92
00:03:52,532 --> 00:03:54,300
I had Mrs. Freeze's AC
turned way up,
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00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:55,836
and I know Jen
doesn't like fish, so--
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00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:57,403
I said don't call me Jen.
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00:03:57,471 --> 00:03:58,472
[Jennifer chuckles]
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00:03:58,538 --> 00:04:00,306
Harley, you have obviously put
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00:04:00,306 --> 00:04:01,775
a lot of planning
into this trip,
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00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:03,342
which just doesn't seem
like you.
99
00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:04,844
Is everything okay?
100
00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:06,612
Of course it is.
101
00:04:06,612 --> 00:04:08,782
I'm the maid of honor
to the hottest bride on Earth.
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00:04:08,848 --> 00:04:10,584
Thanks. For everything.
103
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:12,953
[sighs]
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00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:14,087
I'm truly embarrassed for you.
105
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,455
-What?
-This whole
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00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:17,091
sweaty maid of honor routine,
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00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:19,399
too many thoughtful details.
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00:04:19,399 --> 00:04:20,459
You two hooked up.
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00:04:20,459 --> 00:04:22,997
What? No! Me? Her? No, never.
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Stop denying it.
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00:04:24,964 --> 00:04:27,767
[groans] Fine, yes!
We kissed. Okay?
112
00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:29,903
[sighs] Feels so great
to say that out loud.
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00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,737
It's really been
weighing on me.
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00:04:31,737 --> 00:04:33,507
Thanks for saying something.
I really need a confidante.
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00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:35,408
I am not here to support you.
116
00:04:35,408 --> 00:04:36,976
I do not want
to talk about this again.
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00:04:36,976 --> 00:04:38,444
Sure, sure,
I may have feelings,
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00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:39,913
but I'm not gonna act on them.
I mean,
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00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:41,447
neither of us wants that.
They'll fade over time.
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00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:42,716
That's what feelings are
known for doing.
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00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,050
Neither of us wants that!
122
00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:45,951
Why don't you say it
one more time to be sure?
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00:04:48,487 --> 00:04:51,557
[Clayface] Oh! I have almost
finished the border.
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00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:53,660
Hey! That's part of
the other cloud.
125
00:04:53,726 --> 00:04:55,062
Do not force puzzle pieces.
126
00:04:55,129 --> 00:04:56,629
Look at the cover
of the fucking box.
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00:04:56,697 --> 00:04:59,598
King, what are you
doing in the cabin?
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00:04:59,665 --> 00:05:02,802
I thought the open sea
was your home.
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00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:04,603
It was my home,
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00:05:04,603 --> 00:05:07,339
but I left for
unspecified reasons,
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00:05:07,339 --> 00:05:08,641
the origins of which
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00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:10,877
I choose not to get into
right now.
133
00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:14,447
Well, hey,
this is a bachelor party.
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00:05:14,514 --> 00:05:16,115
The Wi-Fi's a little slow,
135
00:05:16,182 --> 00:05:19,586
but I think I have some tunes
downloaded on my phone here.
136
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:20,954
No.
137
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:23,523
Just the score
to Big Momma's House 2.
138
00:05:23,589 --> 00:05:24,858
Heavens to Betsy.
139
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:27,494
A rogue lobster
just scuttled aboard.
140
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:29,129
[yelps] Oh, no!
141
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:31,497
Oh, no, no, no!
I'm not ready for this.
142
00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:34,600
Nanaue! I have searched
the seven seas for you.
143
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:36,036
No! No, no, no!
144
00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:37,904
It's a talking lobster.
145
00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:40,507
Have you ever seen anything
as crazy as a lobster talking?
146
00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:42,009
Who is this Nanaue?
147
00:05:42,076 --> 00:05:44,577
King, you okay?
Do you owe this lobster money?
148
00:05:44,644 --> 00:05:46,779
[King Shark]
I wish that's all I owed him.
149
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:49,548
I told you guys I didn't want
to leave the marina.
150
00:05:49,615 --> 00:05:51,617
[Samson] I and I been looking
for you for months.
151
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,519
Your father needs you.
152
00:05:53,586 --> 00:05:55,889
The Hammerheads,
they won't sign the trade deal.
153
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:58,759
If the Federation crumbles,
it will start a war.
154
00:05:58,824 --> 00:06:00,793
You must come home
and marry Tabitha,
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00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:03,730
for the safety and livelihood
of your entire kingdom.
156
00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:04,997
What about what I want?
157
00:06:05,064 --> 00:06:06,399
What are you saying?
158
00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:07,899
You are Nanaue.
159
00:06:07,899 --> 00:06:10,036
Is this an elaborate prelude
to mermaid strippers?
160
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:11,670
I said
I did not want strippers.
161
00:06:11,737 --> 00:06:13,040
No. [groans]
162
00:06:13,107 --> 00:06:15,641
My father is king
of the Shark Kingdom
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00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,610
and I was heir to the throne,
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00:06:17,677 --> 00:06:20,512
but I didn't want
an arranged marriage.
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00:06:20,579 --> 00:06:21,781
So I ran.
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00:06:21,781 --> 00:06:23,951
And now it's time
for you to shark up.
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00:06:24,016 --> 00:06:26,019
-Come, quickly!
-He's with us now.
168
00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:28,588
So you can go
back to Shark Kingdom.
169
00:06:28,654 --> 00:06:31,557
[Clayface gasps and groans]
170
00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:33,826
You should listen
to the lobster.
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00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,461
I'll come with you, Samson,
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00:06:35,528 --> 00:06:38,430
but only to tell off my father
once and for all.
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00:06:38,497 --> 00:06:40,466
Don't finish the puzzle
without me, guys.
174
00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:41,869
It would be a betrayal.
175
00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:46,839
That was weird.
176
00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:49,742
How was your snorkeling lesson,
Mrs. Freeze?
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00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:50,944
[Mrs. Freeze] I'm starving.
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00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:52,278
When's our table gonna
be ready?
179
00:06:52,278 --> 00:06:54,214
Ugh. These patio heaters
don't work.
180
00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:56,550
Ugh. Small talk
makes me claustrophobic.
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00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:58,617
Tell Ivy
I said happy-- [screeches]
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00:06:58,685 --> 00:07:00,553
[Harley] Listen up,
you picky bitches!
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00:07:00,553 --> 00:07:02,223
This weekend isn't about
what you want to do
184
00:07:02,223 --> 00:07:03,622
or not do!
185
00:07:03,622 --> 00:07:05,125
Get off it, Harley.
You suck at this.
186
00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:06,994
Fuck you, Jennifer!
187
00:07:06,997 --> 00:07:08,728
This is about
having the time of our lives
188
00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:10,764
to prove to Ivy
that we are excited
189
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:12,531
-for her marriage!
-[Jennifer groaning]
190
00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:15,569
So, when our bride comes back
from changing her tampon,
191
00:07:15,634 --> 00:07:17,004
you better participate,
192
00:07:17,004 --> 00:07:19,139
you better smile,
and you better start drinking
193
00:07:19,206 --> 00:07:21,040
like your life depends on it!
194
00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:23,944
-I don't drink.
-I don't care!
195
00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:26,947
This vegan golden apple pate
is divine.
196
00:07:27,014 --> 00:07:28,548
[woodenly] I don't
miss the meat.
197
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,216
Me too, totally the best.
198
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,920
I haven't even thought about
my dead husband once.
199
00:07:32,985 --> 00:07:34,788
Only my happiness for Ivy.
200
00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:36,889
Yay. Cheers to Ivy.
201
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:38,129
And to Harley,
202
00:07:38,129 --> 00:07:40,026
for making this whole
weekend possible, I guess.
203
00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:43,230
To having fun
on our girls' trip.
204
00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:46,665
Wow. Every one
of my awful friends
are having fun.
205
00:07:46,665 --> 00:07:48,101
You have done the impossible.
206
00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:50,103
Oh, can you toast again
for the camera?
207
00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:52,072
I want to post it
to our sosh meed.
208
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:54,040
Really? I thought
this whole thing
was like a secret island.
209
00:07:54,108 --> 00:07:55,211
Oh, it was.
210
00:07:55,211 --> 00:07:57,677
But now it will be
a premier resort destination
211
00:07:57,677 --> 00:07:59,178
for A-Listers only.
212
00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:00,646
Hadids and above.
213
00:08:00,713 --> 00:08:02,048
Right, right.
214
00:08:02,048 --> 00:08:04,050
And, Your Majesty,
how do you feel about that?
215
00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:06,853
I am very onboard with this.
216
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,055
Um, what the fuck is wrong with
the Queen?
217
00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:10,589
Meh! Cultures change.
218
00:08:10,589 --> 00:08:11,992
Who wants to
look at a dessert menu?
219
00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:13,699
Is there anything
to do around here
220
00:08:13,699 --> 00:08:15,262
besides relax?
221
00:08:15,300 --> 00:08:16,471
Oh, of course.
222
00:08:16,471 --> 00:08:19,098
There's a restorative
waterfall, a wilderness hike,
223
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:21,168
and just a ferry ride away
224
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:23,803
there's a tiny island
called Hedonikka.
225
00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:25,939
-It has men and they--
-We're doing that.
226
00:08:27,141 --> 00:08:29,910
Look, I'm only here
to tell my dad no.
227
00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:31,812
And maybe pick up some lunch.
228
00:08:31,877 --> 00:08:34,914
Nanaue, I've known you
since the day you was born
229
00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:36,649
in the bosom of the ocean.
230
00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:38,318
Down here is your home.
231
00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:40,321
Mmm-mmm. I'm a land shark now.
232
00:08:40,386 --> 00:08:43,222
I have land friends,
and a land life.
233
00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:46,025
There are
so many rules on land.
234
00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:48,095
Nothing beats deep-sea living.
235
00:08:48,162 --> 00:08:50,897
Oh, really?
Name one thing that's better.
236
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:52,065
Just one?
237
00:08:52,131 --> 00:08:53,866
I can think of many.
238
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:58,071
♪ The sea plants
Are always brighter ♪
239
00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:00,274
♪ 'Cause they're
Fertilized with shit ♪
240
00:09:00,341 --> 00:09:02,775
♪ A land life
Constrained by toilets ♪
241
00:09:02,775 --> 00:09:04,076
♪ Now that really is the pits ♪
242
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:05,620
It's not bad.
243
00:09:05,620 --> 00:09:07,681
♪ But when you
Got the ocean floor ♪
244
00:09:07,746 --> 00:09:09,581
♪ You don't have to wipe
No more ♪
245
00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:12,052
-Ugh!
-♪ Don't fuss with TP ♪
246
00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:14,254
♪ When you go peepee ♪
247
00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:16,755
♪ Beneath the sea ♪
248
00:09:16,822 --> 00:09:18,991
♪ Beneath the sea ♪
249
00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:21,260
♪ You've never
Had a cleaner ass ♪
250
00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:23,197
♪ Than when you're pooping
Like a bass ♪
251
00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:24,596
Oh, hey, Franklin.
252
00:09:24,663 --> 00:09:26,265
♪ Octopus ink all day ♪
253
00:09:26,332 --> 00:09:28,268
♪ The blots they float away ♪
254
00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:30,736
♪ Look at the seahorse
He feels no recourse ♪
255
00:09:30,803 --> 00:09:31,937
♪ Beneath the sea ♪
256
00:09:32,004 --> 00:09:34,006
Dave, I haven't seen you
in years.
257
00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:36,275
♪ Check out this grouper ♪
258
00:09:36,342 --> 00:09:38,677
♪ Poops like a trouper ♪
259
00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,947
♪ And this pink flounder ♪
260
00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:43,082
♪ Using the ground here ♪
261
00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:45,052
Are there
other parts of your argument
262
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:47,888
besides being able to defecate
wherever you want?
263
00:09:47,953 --> 00:09:50,090
♪ No one will notice ♪
264
00:09:50,157 --> 00:09:52,359
♪ Not that sea lotus ♪
265
00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:54,760
♪ It is all chill here ♪
266
00:09:54,827 --> 00:09:56,163
♪ We all eat krill here ♪
267
00:09:56,230 --> 00:09:57,230
I love krill.
268
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,332
♪ Beneath the sea ♪
269
00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:02,034
♪ Beneath the sea ♪
270
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:04,037
♪ No need to wash your hands ♪
271
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,173
♪ You can just
Run them in the sands ♪
272
00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:07,941
-[laughs]
-♪ There are no bathrooms ♪
273
00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:11,010
♪ It's all a bathroom
Beneath the sea ♪
274
00:10:11,077 --> 00:10:12,346
Okay! I get it!
275
00:10:12,413 --> 00:10:13,947
There's poop everywhere!
276
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,419
Look. That was
a very compelling argument,
277
00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:21,989
with impressive choreography,
278
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,356
but I remain unconvinced.
279
00:10:23,423 --> 00:10:25,292
Well, how about this?
280
00:10:25,359 --> 00:10:26,860
If you don't get married,
281
00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:28,727
hundreds of thousands will die,
282
00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:31,063
and most likely lead to
the extinction
283
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:33,366
of two proud shark bloodlines.
284
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:35,134
Okay, see, that feels like
285
00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:37,270
what the song
should've been about.
286
00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:39,905
Mmm. It's more difficult
to find rhyming patterns
with that subject matter.
287
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:42,775
Okay, I'll consider
marrying Tabitha,
288
00:10:42,775 --> 00:10:45,678
but only to stop
the two families from warring.
289
00:10:45,745 --> 00:10:48,248
Not because I can shit
anywhere in the ocean.
290
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:49,950
Call the Federation.
291
00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:52,285
The wedding is on!
292
00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:53,787
[chuckles]
293
00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:54,955
[grunting]
294
00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:56,889
That's what I'm talkin' about.
295
00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:02,895
[electronic music playing]
296
00:11:02,962 --> 00:11:04,365
[women cheering]
297
00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:07,000
Ladies of the Aeagean Islands!
298
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:08,768
Put your hands together
299
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:11,138
and welcome the God of War
300
00:11:11,205 --> 00:11:12,905
to the stage!
301
00:11:12,905 --> 00:11:13,907
[whooping]
302
00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:15,442
Yeah, baby!
303
00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:18,144
Oh, my God!
304
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:21,048
I can see
the outline of his penis!
305
00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:22,782
[whooping]
306
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:25,451
This is
the best night of my life!
307
00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:27,821
[yells]
308
00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:29,755
[Mrs. Freeze moaning]
309
00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:36,363
Oh, shit! Cobb Squad reunion!
310
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:38,097
Remember when you two met?
311
00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:40,100
Let's get "Cobb Squad" tattoos.
312
00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:41,967
Oh, my God, let's do that.
313
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:44,203
-We're all getting
matching tattoos!
-[Catwoman groans]
314
00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:45,871
I know you
made everyone pretend to
315
00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:47,441
get along at the restaurant,
you know,
316
00:11:47,441 --> 00:11:49,875
but, like,
now they actually are.
317
00:11:49,942 --> 00:11:52,513
You did that. You always go
the extra mile for me.
318
00:11:52,580 --> 00:11:54,081
I'm your best friend.
319
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:55,381
You are my best friend.
320
00:11:56,783 --> 00:11:58,133
[snoring]
321
00:12:04,091 --> 00:12:05,458
Oh, shit.
322
00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:07,760
Piss cakes of a dick.
323
00:12:07,826 --> 00:12:09,429
[groans] All right,
listen to me.
324
00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:11,230
We shouldn't have done this.
We should not have done this.
325
00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:13,866
The mind-blowing orgasmic sex
or the staying over?
326
00:12:13,866 --> 00:12:15,535
[Poison Ivy]
The all of it. The all of it.
327
00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:16,870
Right, of course.
And, you know,
328
00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:18,238
we don't want it
to happen again--
329
00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:20,374
No! No! No, we do not. Never.
330
00:12:20,374 --> 00:12:21,841
Obviously. That would
be awkward
331
00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:23,543
and derail future plans.
Plus, you know,
332
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:25,778
-there's no room
in the itinerary for--
-[door opens]
333
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:29,982
We made another mistake.
334
00:12:29,982 --> 00:12:31,784
No big deal, we were drunk.
We're friends!
335
00:12:31,784 --> 00:12:33,352
We have a working relationship.
We can get past this.
336
00:12:33,352 --> 00:12:35,288
-It's gonna be fine.
-Oh, good morning, Poison--
337
00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:37,224
-I need to get out of here.
-She needs to get out of here.
338
00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:38,892
Wait, what?
Are you... Are you sure?
339
00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:41,193
So sorry, but there's
no way off the island today.
340
00:12:41,193 --> 00:12:43,429
The invisible plane is out
picking up some investors.
341
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:45,065
Well, is there
an invisible boat?
342
00:12:45,065 --> 00:12:46,966
Or a visible boat?
Is there a fucking fisherman?
343
00:12:46,966 --> 00:12:48,302
-A trawler?
-Yes, look for boats.
344
00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:50,236
Oh, unfortunately, no.
[chuckles awkwardly]
345
00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:52,839
[sighs] Harley,
I fucked up, okay?
346
00:12:52,905 --> 00:12:55,975
I will be in my room
until this weekend is over.
347
00:12:56,842 --> 00:12:59,842
[King Shark humming]
348
00:13:03,417 --> 00:13:04,850
Huh?
349
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:06,986
You wouldn't happen
to be Tabitha?
350
00:13:07,052 --> 00:13:09,155
Yup. You must be my betrothed.
351
00:13:09,155 --> 00:13:10,256
I didn't think you'd show.
352
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:12,259
Yeah, they came and found me.
353
00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:13,960
Then they sang me the song.
354
00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:15,128
Did they sing you the song?
355
00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:17,630
-I live the song.
-Wait.
356
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,198
I'm picking up some vibes
357
00:13:19,198 --> 00:13:21,134
that maybe you don't want
to get married to me.
358
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,469
What gave it away?
359
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:23,671
The fact that
I've managed to chain-smoke
360
00:13:23,671 --> 00:13:25,004
even though I'm underwater?
361
00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:27,621
[fanfare playing]
362
00:13:32,613 --> 00:13:35,416
Son, you've finally come home.
363
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:37,418
Hi, King Daddy.
364
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:40,153
Now, let's get this show
on the road.
365
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:41,355
Where's the bride?
366
00:13:41,422 --> 00:13:44,057
Daddy, I have some bad news.
367
00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:45,958
She doesn't wanna get married.
368
00:13:46,025 --> 00:13:47,226
And neither do I.
369
00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:48,928
-What?
-[crowd gasps]
370
00:13:50,431 --> 00:13:52,032
Hmm. Wild night, huh?
371
00:13:52,099 --> 00:13:54,134
Oh. Nothing gets by
your cat instincts.
372
00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:55,568
Or through paper-thin walls.
373
00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:57,136
I messed up.
374
00:13:57,136 --> 00:13:59,572
The feelings didn't go away,
now Ivy's upset.
375
00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:01,475
You've known her the longest.
What should I do?
376
00:14:01,475 --> 00:14:02,928
Don't look at me.
377
00:14:02,928 --> 00:14:04,878
-Jennifer's known her
the longest.
-[Jennifer groaning]
378
00:14:04,878 --> 00:14:07,114
See you at brunch, Harls.
379
00:14:07,114 --> 00:14:09,000
[Poison Ivy] I...
I need to be alone right now.
380
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,884
Ivy, look. You're here,
you're queer, get used to it.
381
00:14:11,951 --> 00:14:13,486
Let's enjoy
the rest of the weekend.
382
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:16,022
Harley, that was
a huge mistake, okay?
383
00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:18,591
And nothing like that can
ever happen again.
384
00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:20,994
Totally. Look, the first time
we'd just escaped jail.
385
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:23,196
The second time we were drunk.
It's a two-time thing.
386
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:25,164
Well, a four-time thing
within a two-time thing.
387
00:14:25,164 --> 00:14:27,000
[sighs] Look,
your friends came all this way
388
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,434
to spend time with you.
389
00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:30,471
Plus, I still have
a very fun surprise planned.
390
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,399
The Crown Jewel of the weekend!
391
00:14:32,399 --> 00:14:35,241
Come on, Ive. The weekend
can't end like this.
392
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:37,277
I wanted it
to be perfect for you.
393
00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:39,546
We'll forget
last night ever happened.
394
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:43,950
Yeah, I... I'll come out.
395
00:14:43,950 --> 00:14:45,152
Let me just...
Let me put on a bra.
396
00:14:45,152 --> 00:14:46,586
Here, it... it was in my room.
397
00:14:49,121 --> 00:14:52,192
[Jennifer] Ugh.
I'm so hungover.
398
00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:54,094
I need another mimosa, I think.
399
00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:56,395
All right, ladies,
I have a big surprise.
400
00:14:56,462 --> 00:14:58,097
Are we going
back to the strip club?
401
00:14:58,164 --> 00:14:59,298
I left my fanny pack.
402
00:14:59,298 --> 00:15:00,466
No, someone stole it.
403
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:02,134
Anyway, Eris,
the hotel manager,
404
00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:04,136
is actually an enemy
of the Amazons.
405
00:15:04,203 --> 00:15:05,339
She possessed the Queen,
406
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,206
and is using her
to sell Themyscira
407
00:15:07,206 --> 00:15:08,609
to Lex Luthor so he can put on
408
00:15:08,676 --> 00:15:11,211
an upscale
lifestyle and music festival.
409
00:15:11,211 --> 00:15:13,078
He's already
shipping the port-a-potties.
410
00:15:13,145 --> 00:15:15,448
-And we're gonna kill Eris.
-Yes!
411
00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,116
Which will save
this beautiful island
412
00:15:17,183 --> 00:15:19,085
and its natural resources.
413
00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:20,653
You know, environment shit.
414
00:15:20,721 --> 00:15:23,123
I've been scoping this out
for weeks.
415
00:15:23,190 --> 00:15:24,457
-Yep. I love it.
-Really?
416
00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:25,958
Yes, obviously!
417
00:15:25,958 --> 00:15:27,461
Why didn't you
tell us sooner, woman?
418
00:15:27,461 --> 00:15:29,995
I wanted you to enjoy
the spa facilities first.
419
00:15:29,995 --> 00:15:31,431
Yeah, night one
we enjoy the resort,
420
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:33,099
and night two we destroy it.
421
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:35,302
Oh, my God. Harley, this is
so thoughtful of you.
422
00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:38,404
Like, it's exactly my taste.
It's like my thing.
423
00:15:38,404 --> 00:15:41,441
Murder? I don't know.
I work in life insurance.
424
00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:43,043
These are bottomless, right?
425
00:15:43,711 --> 00:15:45,880
Okay, let's kill her.
426
00:15:56,389 --> 00:15:57,658
What are you doing?
427
00:15:57,725 --> 00:15:59,592
What I should've done
when I left...
428
00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:01,729
Finally standing up
to my father.
429
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:04,664
Dad, I've made
a good life for myself.
430
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:07,267
I have friends
that I'm so important to
431
00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:11,071
they won't even finish a puzzle
they're working on
until I get back.
432
00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:13,306
Do you understand
that type of bond?
433
00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:16,208
So I will marry
when I'm in love.
434
00:16:16,275 --> 00:16:20,080
No shark of mine
marries for love.
435
00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:21,414
I can't share a clamshell
436
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,383
with someone who doesn't even
know me.
437
00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:25,051
No offense, Tabitha.
438
00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:27,687
Uh, I don't wanna
share one with your ass either.
439
00:16:27,754 --> 00:16:29,355
Nanaue,
440
00:16:29,423 --> 00:16:32,458
if you leave my kingdom again,
441
00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:36,229
you can never return.
442
00:16:36,296 --> 00:16:38,063
Then this is goodbye, Father.
443
00:16:39,265 --> 00:16:40,701
[growls in frustration]
444
00:16:40,768 --> 00:16:42,436
And one last thing.
445
00:16:42,503 --> 00:16:44,705
I like pooping in the toilet!
446
00:16:44,772 --> 00:16:46,105
[crowd gasps]
447
00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:47,875
The shame of it.
448
00:16:47,875 --> 00:16:51,244
Ready to officially unite
Themyscira and LexCorp?
449
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:53,514
Well, it's not like
Wonder Woman's gonna come
and save them.
450
00:16:53,514 --> 00:16:55,816
I wish I could be there
to consummate this marriage
in person,
451
00:16:55,883 --> 00:16:58,250
but... [groans]
Little Lexi's sick.
452
00:16:58,317 --> 00:16:59,586
[Lexi coughs]
453
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:02,422
Sign here, Queen,
and we'll all get rich.
454
00:17:02,489 --> 00:17:04,124
Well, everyone except you.
455
00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:05,325
[chuckles]
456
00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:07,059
Aw, sad.
457
00:17:07,059 --> 00:17:08,327
-[Poison Ivy] Hey!
-[Eris] What the--
458
00:17:08,327 --> 00:17:10,230
Selling out the Amazons
to Luthor?
459
00:17:10,297 --> 00:17:12,432
You're gonna have to
take that shit up with...
460
00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:14,768
The Cobb Squad!
461
00:17:16,403 --> 00:17:18,505
Wait, are you--
Did no one else get one?
462
00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:19,673
-Jennifer?
-Uh...
463
00:17:19,740 --> 00:17:21,441
[yells]
464
00:17:22,576 --> 00:17:24,826
[both grunting]
465
00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:35,823
[groans] You hit me in the tit.
466
00:17:35,890 --> 00:17:39,259
Sign here, date here.
It's the 16th.
467
00:17:39,326 --> 00:17:40,827
-[Jennifer grunts]
-[screams]
468
00:17:42,730 --> 00:17:44,463
Eris, get the contract!
469
00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:48,101
[Harley grunts]
470
00:17:48,101 --> 00:17:50,303
Harley on your right!
No, no, your other right!
471
00:17:50,304 --> 00:17:51,337
My right!
472
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:52,772
How do I close this window?
473
00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:55,642
Ah! It's in full-screen mode.
Shit. [groans]
474
00:17:55,709 --> 00:17:58,711
Which HDMI port did you use?
475
00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:00,847
-[Harley grunts]
-[Jennifer panting]
476
00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:03,450
-[Jennifer grunts]
-[Eris groans]
477
00:18:03,517 --> 00:18:06,252
This is for selling out nature
and women and--
478
00:18:06,318 --> 00:18:08,387
Not having bottomless mimosas.
479
00:18:08,454 --> 00:18:10,656
[pants]
480
00:18:13,527 --> 00:18:14,560
What happened?
481
00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,296
You were possessed by Eris.
482
00:18:16,363 --> 00:18:18,498
She turned
your island into a resort.
483
00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:20,267
This is Themyscira?
484
00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:22,536
Yeah. And Harley Quinn
saved the day.
485
00:18:22,603 --> 00:18:24,637
With the rest of
the Cobb Squad.
486
00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:26,172
Very well.
487
00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:28,307
We shall celebrate
the Cobb Squad's victory
488
00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:30,644
in the ancient tradition
of the Amazons.
489
00:18:30,711 --> 00:18:32,144
We're gonna
have a fucking rager?
490
00:18:32,211 --> 00:18:35,248
We're going to
have a fucking rager.
491
00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:37,517
-[women cheering]
-[Jennifer whooping]
492
00:18:38,250 --> 00:18:40,753
[both groan]
493
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:42,200
Are you having fun?
494
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:44,290
I'm just glad you talked me
into coming back out.
495
00:18:44,356 --> 00:18:47,326
You know, it's like,
aside from the horrible mistake
496
00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:50,463
that we made earlier, this has
been my dream vacation.
497
00:18:50,529 --> 00:18:53,866
I mean, relaxation,
partying, murder.
498
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:55,234
I mean, man,
499
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:57,202
you know me better than anyone.
500
00:18:57,269 --> 00:18:58,571
You're easy to celebrate.
501
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,907
And you're
fun to celebrate with.
502
00:19:02,643 --> 00:19:03,992
[snoring]
503
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:10,349
-Oh, shit, fuck!
-Oh, double fuck.
504
00:19:10,416 --> 00:19:12,618
Oh, for the ding of fuck nuts!
505
00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:14,755
I can't-- What is wro--
506
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,455
How can I fuckin'--
507
00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:18,692
Oh, my God.
We have talked about this.
508
00:19:18,759 --> 00:19:20,693
We cannot do this again.
509
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,729
We just said that
we weren't gonna do it
and then we did it again.
510
00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:23,830
You're right.
You're totally right.
511
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,632
We can't do this. We can't--
512
00:19:25,699 --> 00:19:27,567
Wait, why can't we do this?
513
00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:28,969
Because you're my best friend,
514
00:19:29,036 --> 00:19:31,337
and I can't stand
the idea of losing you.
515
00:19:31,403 --> 00:19:33,640
-You know? I--
-You don't have to.
516
00:19:33,707 --> 00:19:35,575
We'd be closer
than we've ever been before.
517
00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:37,309
Well, not closer
than last night,
518
00:19:37,309 --> 00:19:39,278
-I mean, that was crazy.
-Yeah, that was fucking crazy.
519
00:19:39,278 --> 00:19:41,280
Don't you want to feel this way
all the time?
520
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:42,950
Our whole lives could be
going around the world
521
00:19:42,950 --> 00:19:45,786
saving nature,
freeing all-female armies,
522
00:19:45,853 --> 00:19:47,921
partying, getting free stuff.
523
00:19:47,988 --> 00:19:49,455
It would be so fun!
524
00:19:49,957 --> 00:19:50,957
I love you.
525
00:19:51,959 --> 00:19:55,858
Just think about it, okay?
526
00:19:58,731 --> 00:20:00,500
[Clayface] Ooh,
one hour till we dock.
527
00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:02,836
I bet we can finish the puzzle.
528
00:20:02,903 --> 00:20:04,438
-Hey!
-No one touches another piece
529
00:20:04,503 --> 00:20:06,440
until King Shark gets back!
530
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:07,473
Nobody. I mean it!
531
00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:08,875
I can't wait to see Ivy.
532
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,778
Ah, I wonder what she'll
complain about first.
533
00:20:10,778 --> 00:20:12,813
Probably the airplane food.
534
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,281
God, she is one in a million.
535
00:20:15,347 --> 00:20:18,317
Wow. You certainly share
a unique connection.
536
00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:20,420
[King Shark roars]
537
00:20:20,487 --> 00:20:23,256
The King hath returned!
538
00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:25,291
So you stood up to your dad?
That rules.
539
00:20:25,357 --> 00:20:27,426
I looked him right in the eye
and I said,
540
00:20:27,493 --> 00:20:30,696
"Daddy, I'm not
marrying Tabitha."
541
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:31,932
Good for you.
542
00:20:31,999 --> 00:20:34,701
A man is nothing
without his convictions.
543
00:20:34,768 --> 00:20:36,002
Exactly.
544
00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:37,938
And then,
a couple minutes after that
545
00:20:38,005 --> 00:20:39,772
I came back and got married.
546
00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:42,342
What? I can't say no
to King Daddy.
547
00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:45,511
But at least now he knows
I'm not happy about it.
548
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:49,650
Wait. You got married
to someone you just met?
549
00:20:49,715 --> 00:20:51,919
She didn't reject you
over and over?
550
00:20:51,919 --> 00:20:53,519
How many times did you propose?
551
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,521
I think... none?
552
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:57,457
-What?
-Tabitha and I worked it out.
553
00:20:57,523 --> 00:20:59,026
We'll stay married publicly,
554
00:20:59,093 --> 00:21:01,627
but we're each allowed
to have secret relationships.
555
00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:04,530
I mean, sure,
we could probably get along
556
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:06,298
and have a very
milquetoast marriage,
557
00:21:06,365 --> 00:21:08,401
but I don't want that.
558
00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:10,403
I wanna be with
someone who excites me.
559
00:21:10,470 --> 00:21:11,939
Where love isn't safe,
560
00:21:11,939 --> 00:21:14,740
the kind of love that
doesn't have limits.
561
00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:16,308
I want a soulmate.
562
00:21:16,375 --> 00:21:17,544
Just like me and Ivy.
563
00:21:17,611 --> 00:21:18,612
[Clayface] Mmm.
564
00:21:19,578 --> 00:21:20,948
[Harley] Bye!
565
00:21:21,015 --> 00:21:23,083
Jennifer! Welcome home, honey.
566
00:21:23,150 --> 00:21:24,684
[shushes] Stop.
567
00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:26,653
I'm going by Jen now, okay?
568
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:27,721
Okay. [stammers] What...
569
00:21:27,788 --> 00:21:29,056
What happened on that trip?
570
00:21:29,123 --> 00:21:31,858
[Mrs. Freeze] I can't wait
to get you home.
571
00:21:31,858 --> 00:21:32,893
[chuckles]
572
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:34,728
Ooh! Stop.
573
00:21:34,795 --> 00:21:37,299
[car squeaking]
574
00:21:37,396 --> 00:21:39,365
[exhales] Okay, I've
thought about what you said.
575
00:21:39,432 --> 00:21:41,567
And this weekend was
so special.
576
00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:43,603
Amazing, really.
577
00:21:43,670 --> 00:21:47,374
And you're right,
that we have had these
high highs together.
578
00:21:47,374 --> 00:21:48,642
But... [sighs] Harley,
579
00:21:48,709 --> 00:21:50,810
you run from
one thing to the next,
580
00:21:50,877 --> 00:21:53,713
and at some point
that's gonna be me.
581
00:21:53,779 --> 00:21:55,781
And the truth is,
582
00:21:55,781 --> 00:21:57,884
I trust you with my life,
583
00:21:57,951 --> 00:22:01,721
but I don't trust you
with my heart.
584
00:22:01,788 --> 00:22:04,090
So, I... I'm marrying Kite Man.
585
00:22:05,826 --> 00:22:07,928
Hey, girl. How was the trip?
586
00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:09,395
It... it was good.
587
00:22:09,395 --> 00:22:10,596
Hey, you wanna
go make some chili,
588
00:22:10,596 --> 00:22:12,398
sit on the couch watching TV
589
00:22:12,398 --> 00:22:15,765
for four to six hours?
590
00:22:18,704 --> 00:22:20,406
[cries]
40496
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