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EERIE MUSIC PLAYS
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Go on, take it!
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It's the first test.
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It's the first test.
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00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:17,960
It'll be hilarious. Can't wait
to see her face.
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00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:20,800
This is taking ages. Hurry up.
Write faster!
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She's coming!
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00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:31,240
Who is responsible for
this sacrilege?!
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I tell you now, whoever did this,
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00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,160
no secret is hidden
from the Holy Father.
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You know who you are. And the wrath
of the Lord will be upon you
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00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:48,040
and His punishment will be
harsh and righteous,
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00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:51,360
and commensurate with the mortal
sin of blasphemy!
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00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:58,880
GIRLS CHAT AND LAUGH
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00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:18,120
You've some weird and deviant ways,
Rosalind Booth.
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Natalie, have you anything you wish
to say to me about this afternoon?
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00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,880
No, Sister Cunegonde.
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WIND BLOWS
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CREAKING
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SCREAMING
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GIRLS CRY
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Sister!
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SHE SCREAMS
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00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:46,160
We'll see if 24 hours
of isolation can tame this
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00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,480
rebellious spirit
of yours, Rosalind.
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00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:51,280
In this room you will read,
reflect on your sins,
27
00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:53,640
and learn penitence
through the power of prayer.
28
00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:57,200
And you will truly see God,
and learn to love Him through the
29
00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:01,320
blessed Saint Barnabas, and repent
the error of your heathen ways.
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00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:12,200
So are you going to
tell us what happened?
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00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:14,720
Did you actually see God?
Come on, tell us.
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Course I didn't "see God."
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00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:19,440
What do you think? Absolutely
nothing happened in there.
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00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,440
Nothing at all.
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00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:38,680
MUSIC: "Danse Macabre"
by Camille Saint-Saens
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00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:11,920
'Yes, and although today one simply
thinks of oneself as this
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00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:14,280
'jobbing writer-director-presenter-
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00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:17,800
'political-theorist-cum-social
anthropologist, having trained
39
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:21,920
'initially, of course, in the areas
of medicine and bio-chemistry,
40
00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:26,840
'I still find these areas
utterly fascinate me.
41
00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:30,880
'There's a lady in Sweden,
for example, who for 11 years
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00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:34,160
'now has been sending me videos
of her husband's colonoscopies.
43
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:37,280
'And while it's true that to
a specialist in rectal polyps
44
00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:40,800
'his abdomen is positively stacked
with treasures, what's curious
45
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:44,520
'is her passion for meticulously
documenting their progress.
46
00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:49,160
'Like some form of anal archivist
recording his posterior
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00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:51,240
'for posterity, as it were.'
48
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:14,360
Well, there we must leave it.
49
00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:16,160
As ever, Franklin Tartikoff,
50
00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:17,720
it's been illuminating,
51
00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:19,440
entertaining, and an absolute...
52
00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:29,000
MEDIA FILE BEEPS
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00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:32,800
PHONE RINGS
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00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:36,160
Ah, Nigel!
55
00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:39,360
Yes, some of these dates
they've sent for the book tour,
56
00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:41,800
I don't think are going to work,
unfortunately.
57
00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:46,080
July 15th, I'll be up to
my eyes in The Winslow Boy.
58
00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:49,800
That's Terence Rattigan, for any
tabloid reporters listening in.
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00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:52,560
And the third and fourth of August,
60
00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:55,160
I'll still be colour grading
Robin Cook.
61
00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:58,000
And then, I'm afraid, the last week
of November's not good for me,
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00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:01,520
as I'll be dead. Any chance they
could bring that one forward at all?
63
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:03,000
DOORBELL RINGS
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00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:06,440
Well, no. That prognosis,
I'm told, is amazingly accurate,
65
00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:09,680
based on this new software that
can sample the echocardiogram
66
00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:12,760
and then calculate the exact
rate of ventricular atrophy.
67
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:15,880
As a tool for assessing life
expectancy in terminal heart
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00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:18,680
disease, it's one of the most
exciting new clinical
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00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:20,360
developments I can remember.
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00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:22,920
Peter!
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00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:24,200
Franklin.
72
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:28,360
Morning. Come on up,
the coffee's on. How are you?
73
00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:29,520
Are you well?
74
00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:32,520
Fine thanks, yes. And how's Ros?
75
00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:34,920
Glad to get that funeral
out of the way this morning?
76
00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:37,280
Oh, yes. An old school friend,
apparently.
77
00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:40,240
She's been obsessing about it
for days. I don't know why.
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00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:44,720
Grace Elizabeth Elstow
left this world too early,
79
00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:48,520
but it was, at least, a world
she had come to terms with.
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00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:52,200
She understood the temporary
nature of existence,
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00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:56,160
that man is no more meaningful
than a mountain of molecules,
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00:08:56,160 --> 00:09:01,840
beautifully, but pointlessly
composited for one brief life span,
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00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:04,240
before reverting,
without consequence,
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00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:06,720
to an infinity of dust.
85
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,640
Not quite the Pope's Easter message,
86
00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:12,320
but...I suppose it's what
she would have wanted.
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00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:17,000
Dear Beth. You were their
one success story.
88
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:19,880
Funny how we all spin off
in different directions.
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00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:28,800
That's Grace and Kate, then, now.
Both gone.
90
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,640
Just the two of us left.
91
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:35,560
You...got my text?
92
00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:39,120
And?
93
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:42,120
You went back. What did you see?
94
00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:43,520
Too much.
95
00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:44,520
I hoped...
96
00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:48,200
Maybe I hoped it had all gone away.
97
00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:53,840
All I know is, the sooner they
pull that wretched place down,
the better.
98
00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:58,200
But they'll still be with us, Ros.
99
00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:00,360
The ghosts will never leave us
100
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:03,560
as long as we go
on running from the past.
101
00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:06,880
We were just children. We didn't
deserve that! I'm sorry, Beth.
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00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:08,280
I can't see the point.
103
00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:10,720
It's 50 years now.
For God's sake,
104
00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:14,560
can't we please just
let it go and move on!
105
00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:24,160
Ah yes, I see what you're
saying about the arrhythmia.
106
00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:27,160
It's like a form of
systolic syncopation, almost.
107
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:28,920
Art Tatum in the atrium.
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00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:30,000
PHONE RINGS
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00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,240
Ah! That'll be Fariba.
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00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:33,360
Said she'd call the minute
she landed. Do you mind?
111
00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:36,240
No, no, we're almost done.
112
00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:39,520
Sweetheart!
How was life in the jungle?
113
00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:43,440
Yes, going to be clearing a
space soon for that BAFTA
documentary award!
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00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:47,640
I tell you, 108 days with the
most primitive people on Earth -
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00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:50,920
109 if you count
the baggage staff at Jakarta -
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00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:53,120
just so opens your eyes
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00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:54,720
to life,
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00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:57,520
survival, existence.
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00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:00,560
Well, listen, I can't wait
to see the footage.
120
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:03,000
No, I can imagine.
121
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:06,240
Yeah, I only
went to Bhubaneswar.
122
00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:09,200
Pottering around
the Buddhist shrine...
123
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:11,200
Peter. You're just off?
124
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:14,640
Yes. I've made one slight adjustment
to your husband's medication.
125
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:15,800
If I could leave it with you?
126
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,480
Yes. Of course.
127
00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:23,720
And I'll be in touch
again next week.
128
00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:26,320
Yes. Right. Bye then, Peter.
129
00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:29,520
FRANKLIN: The student bar would be
empty by 10 o'clock...
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00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:35,680
CAR ENGINE STARTS
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00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:02,640
Interesting.
132
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:07,000
Yes, but not something you'd
have much use for. It's a god.
133
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:08,800
Tarua-Ran. Oh, yes?
134
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:14,160
Which means, roughly translated,
"What cannot be explained."
135
00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:17,440
It's like they're living on a whole
different spiritual plane to us.
136
00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:20,320
Gosh. We think we know
all the answers.
137
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:23,280
We don't even know
the questions.
138
00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:26,440
And how's Brad?
You been keeping him warm for me?
139
00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:30,440
Yes. Yes, we see him from
time to time, don't we? Mm-hmm.
140
00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:31,560
Is he all right?
141
00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:34,040
What do you think?
16 weeks on his own?
142
00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:36,600
The poor man'll be pining
for you desperately.
143
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,320
Oh!
144
00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:44,560
Whoa!
145
00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:49,000
THEY LAUGH
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00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,880
I think that's what
DH Lawrence would call
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00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:53,160
"the hastening gravitation
of spirit towards spirit
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00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:54,600
"and body towards body."
149
00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:57,320
Give me that again?
150
00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:58,520
Whoa!
151
00:12:58,520 --> 00:12:59,560
HE LAUGHS
152
00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:03,800
No, I meant the bit about
DH Lawrence.
153
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,240
You know, we need to look lively,
154
00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:07,000
before the owners of
this place catch us.
155
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,080
When are they due back?
156
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,400
The end of February.
157
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,520
So they fly south for the winter
158
00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:17,360
and leave you to mind the shop.
Got to be a cushy number.
159
00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:18,640
And the rest.
160
00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:21,400
There's all the maintenance work,
sorting out the animal feed.
161
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,720
And picking up strange women
at petrol stations.
162
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,560
I should have known you
worked on a farm
163
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:28,560
when you had to sit on that little
stool to put your hands up my shirt.
164
00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:30,360
Nice part of the world, though.
165
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:34,520
What's that place?
Like a stately home or something?
166
00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:37,440
Oh, Waxwood Hall. Yeah,
used to be an old convent school.
167
00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:40,880
There was some weird story
back in the '60s.
168
00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:43,320
These girls who all
woke up with, like,
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00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:45,440
strange red rings on their head.
170
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:48,360
Think one of them was actually
found dead the next morning.
171
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:50,680
You know what it's like,
local superstitions.
172
00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:53,160
There's been talk around
this place ever since.
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00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:55,440
"Dark forces" at work
in that building
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00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:57,440
you really don't want
to meddle with...
175
00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:00,360
PHONE RINGS
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00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,960
Oh, course, she's back
this week, I forgot.
177
00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:08,160
Girl I was sort of seeing,
till she, erm...
178
00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:10,280
Hey! How the hell are you?
179
00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:14,080
Oh, just the usual.
Slopping about the farm.
180
00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:16,240
Sorting out the livestock.
181
00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:18,800
But listen, we should get
together for a catch up.
182
00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:20,640
Yeah, when's good for you?
183
00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:23,320
I don't know, Brad.
when's good for you?
184
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,360
Not just this minute, I'm guessing.
185
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:44,240
MUSIC STOPS
186
00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:45,480
JONATHAN MUMBLES
187
00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:47,440
APPLAUSE
188
00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:55,880
Oh, I know! And he was so looking
forward to catching up
with you today.
189
00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:59,560
But them's the breaks, I'm afraid,
when you're running
a global advertising agency.
190
00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:01,520
Cos you and my dad go back 30 years,
191
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,880
directing those
SDP party politicals.
192
00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:06,440
Oh, yes, Roy Jenkins.
"With not a little rancour."
193
00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:08,840
I think we went to 16 takes.
194
00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:11,520
Oh, I never got a chance to
introduce you all properly,
195
00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:13,360
did I, to my husband, Jonathan?
196
00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:15,960
Don't think you know Jack -
producer extraordinaire.
197
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:18,480
You still based in Euston,
have I remembered that right?
198
00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:20,840
And Davina and Rosalind.
199
00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:23,000
And Franklin Tartikoff,
you obviously know.
200
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:26,080
Though to me you'll always be
the Right Reverend Leslie Clitoris.
201
00:15:26,080 --> 00:15:28,480
I mean, priceless. Some of the
stuff you got away with,
202
00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:30,240
those early satire shows on radio.
203
00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:31,720
You remember the mad Catholic bishop
204
00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:34,080
who tied women's legs
together in a reef knot?
205
00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:38,920
Gosh, yes. Leslie Clitoris. The BBC
had no idea what we were saying.
206
00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:41,040
They thought he was the chap
who wrote The Saint.
207
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,360
THEY LAUGH
208
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:45,000
So, anyway.
This is all news to us, Polly?
209
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,920
What was it, a whirlwind courtship?
210
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:48,920
More like an emergency airlift!
211
00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:52,280
Poor man was living in a windmill,
weren't you, when I first met him.
212
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:54,840
Thinking up conjuring
tricks for a living.
213
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:57,520
So you know, bit of a reboot
required there, but...
214
00:15:57,520 --> 00:16:01,640
Good for us all periodically,
I think. To metamorphose, move on.
215
00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:03,000
I was born a man.
216
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,520
Exactly. Oh! Mustn't
forget, by the way,
217
00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:07,640
it's Jack and Davina's
anniversary today,
218
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:10,520
so many congratulations
to you both!
219
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:13,880
To the lucky husband and his
lovely wife! Many more to come.
220
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:18,320
So where's he taking you after this,
somewhere exciting?
221
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:23,280
What?
222
00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:28,920
No, it's just all this "he",
and "husband and wife."
223
00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:30,720
I'm very sorry.
224
00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:33,000
No, no, darling,
I'm sure he understands.
225
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,240
A few years ago, Jonathan,
226
00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:37,360
I had some identity issues
with my gender.
227
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:39,360
We discussed it, we resolved it.
228
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:43,240
I was Geoffrey Hyde, I'm now
Jacqueline. It's done.
229
00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:45,600
We've moved on. We're very happy.
230
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:49,160
So great, when people can work
these things out.
231
00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:51,280
So, sorry, what are you saying?
That you...
232
00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:53,720
Made what we both felt
was the mature decision.
233
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:57,000
And in case you're wondering,
I got to keep all my male genitalia.
234
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,320
Oh, right.
235
00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:00,520
I keep it in a jar in
my production office.
236
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,760
You know what it's like.
237
00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:03,760
Pairs of shoes you
don't wear any more,
238
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:06,200
you still can't bear to throw away.
239
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:09,520
And the name, I suppose -
Jacqueline - sort of appropriate
240
00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:11,640
with your identity issues?
241
00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:15,880
Jacqueline Hyde?
242
00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:17,640
How do you mean, exactly?
243
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:20,320
Actually, talking of satire,
244
00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:23,440
did you have any luck with that
demo tape? I meant to ask.
245
00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:26,560
Some quite extraordinary
performances...
Let's go and say hi...
246
00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:29,400
Can I say something
embarrassing, Jonathan?
247
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:32,280
I'm such an admirer
of all your cognitive work.
248
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:35,280
It takes a pretty
stubborn mind sometimes
249
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:37,080
to fly the flag for common sense
250
00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:39,720
when everyone else around you
seems to believe in fairies.
251
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:41,360
That's... I realise, obviously,
252
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:43,360
that's a closed chapter
in your life now,
253
00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:45,560
but just so you know...
254
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:46,920
you have a fan.
255
00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:59,880
MACHINE BEEPS AND CLICKS
256
00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:21,240
I'll be away then now.
And see you later.
257
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:24,520
Yes. Enjoy your "bridge night."
258
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:38,920
CHANTING ON TV
259
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:43,560
Hi, how are you?
260
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:51,440
Indeed. In some ways
the perfect night for it.
261
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:53,640
THUNDER CRASHES
262
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:55,240
We both know he knows.
263
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:58,560
Is there anything on this God-awful
Earth he doesn't know?
264
00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:02,360
It's just that, to say that to me,
to even allude...
265
00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:05,840
It's the first time ever he's tried
to rattle me with subtext.
266
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:10,600
This time next year,
things'll be different.
267
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:12,240
Yes, knowing him,
268
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:15,600
he'll suddenly develop a
miracle cure in his coffee break.
269
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,760
I have to go.
270
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:48,200
WOMAN SOBS
271
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:05,400
THUNDER CRASHES
272
00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:11,880
WOMAN SOBS
273
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:22,480
DOOR RATTLES
274
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:27,640
Fariba? You in there,
darling? What's happening?
275
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:29,520
Fariba, please open the door!
276
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,560
ROSALIND BANGS ON DOOR
277
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,040
ROSALIND GASPS
278
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:48,880
Oh, no! Fariba!
279
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:52,120
Oh, God, oh, God! What's happened?!
280
00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:54,880
Talk to me, will you?!
281
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:57,440
Fariba! Fariba!
282
00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:59,360
Open the door!
283
00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:01,160
BANGS ON DOOR
284
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:02,720
Talk to me, will you?
285
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:05,160
Fariba?
286
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:08,080
Fariba, can you hear me?
287
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:09,720
Fariba!
288
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:28,120
Yes, you've got to
come over here now!
289
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:48,720
Oh, God, oh, God.
290
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:51,240
Fariba, can you hear me?
291
00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:53,440
BANGING ON DOOR
292
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,320
Shh...
293
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:20,640
I called the police.
I called the ambulance.
294
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:21,840
Well done, well done.
295
00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:29,280
In God's name...
296
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:32,520
FARIBA GROANS
297
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:35,240
My darling, are you all right?
Can you talk?
298
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:37,760
Talk to me, what happened here?
299
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:40,480
This is insane.
300
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:42,000
You're making this up!
301
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,720
What happened?
Why can't you tell us?
302
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,080
Because I... I don't know.
303
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:50,440
I came up here...
I found him like that...
304
00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:54,360
I heard somebody coming upstairs,
and I locked the door.
305
00:22:54,360 --> 00:22:57,120
Whoever did that, I didn't know,
they might still be in the house,
306
00:22:57,120 --> 00:22:59,400
outside there, with a gun
to your head...
307
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:02,920
I... I couldn't think straight!
308
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:05,680
But you never moved from
that door the whole time.
309
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:10,360
I mean, for God's sake,
he was in here, you both saw him!
310
00:23:10,360 --> 00:23:13,160
This is just surreal, isn't it?
311
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:16,040
Where the hell did he go?
312
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:18,760
THUNDER CRASHES
313
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:23,200
PEOPLE CHATTER
314
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:24,760
Can you please move...
315
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:36,480
Sorry, I thought he might
have a small window, but
316
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:39,920
I'm afraid we're looking at
back-to-back appointments
all morning.
317
00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:43,240
Then he's got lunch with his
co-directors at Claridge's at one,
318
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:46,080
and from three to five he'll
be at his club in town, so...
319
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:47,480
Erm, yes!
320
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:49,000
Can I stop you there?
321
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:51,160
I think we've got our wires crossed
here, haven't we?
322
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:54,640
It's just, I googled the name
and this company came up, but
323
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:57,440
obviously got the wrong Jonathan
Creek here entirely, haven't I?
324
00:23:57,440 --> 00:24:00,640
So, very sorry to
have troubled you. Bye.
325
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:45,760
Oh! Oh, God! I'm sorry,
I'm sorry! Sorry.
326
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:48,800
What are you like?
327
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:52,240
It wasn't deliberate,
I swear to you, honestly.
328
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:54,640
INTERCOM BUZZES
329
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:56,840
'Sorry, Mr Creek, just to warn you.
330
00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:59,680
'There was a rather strange woman
hanging about earlier on.
331
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:02,160
'I got security to escort
her off the premises,
332
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:05,280
'but just in case she manages
to worm her way back in...
333
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:08,200
'She looked like the sort
that doesn't give up.'
334
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:11,040
I'll bear that in mind.
Thank you, Angelika.
335
00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:13,600
Said she thought you might
have a small window.
336
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:15,080
Has she ever been in this room?
337
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:16,920
Look, if all you've come here
to do is smirk
338
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:18,840
at the fact that I've
finally managed to
339
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:21,960
turn my life around, progress
my career, do something
340
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:26,240
a bit more grown-up and responsible
and creatively challenging.
341
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:30,320
Only I've got a very important
presentation to Weetabix in five
minutes, so if you don't mind...
342
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:31,560
All right, get out.
343
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:33,760
I'm sorry, I'm sorry - no!
I'm sorry.
344
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:37,440
Look, three years. People can change,
it's none of my business.
345
00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:39,160
So look, I'll keep this short, OK?
346
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:41,240
Cos this won't be on
your radar yet, probably.
347
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:44,280
It's only just breaking, but...
348
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:46,440
A dead man in a room, right,
349
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:49,480
seen and photographed by witnesses,
350
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:51,600
completely evaporates into thin air.
351
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:54,400
Walls, floor, ceiling all rock solid,
352
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:57,360
no way he could have got out through
the window, or through the door,
353
00:25:57,360 --> 00:26:00,880
which was being watched the whole
time, and yet when they went in...
354
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:03,440
I mean, it is just mind-blowing.
355
00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:07,800
There'll be an explanation.
356
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:09,720
It'll all be
very weird and wonderful.
357
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:12,880
Once you've fathomed it, everyone
will be deeply underwhelmed,
358
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:15,080
and you'll wonder why you bothered,
so.
359
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:17,560
Ordinarily, agreed. But this one
is so bulletproof,
360
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:18,880
from what they're saying,
361
00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:21,360
it's like nothing
you've ever come across.
362
00:26:21,360 --> 00:26:23,680
There's a lot of mad talk
in this village already
363
00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:26,040
about supernatural forces.
364
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:29,120
And now with this
Franklin Tartikoff character
365
00:26:29,120 --> 00:26:32,360
just apparently turning into dust,
like some kind of vampire...
366
00:26:32,360 --> 00:26:33,960
Franklin Tartikoff?
367
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:40,480
Sorry, I didn't realise
you were...in a meeting.
368
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:43,600
You know we're...
369
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:46,520
Yes. This was just... Absolutely.
370
00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:49,280
Best of luck with that, then.
371
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:50,880
Sounds like you'll need it.
372
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:03,920
What's the latest news?
What's going on?
373
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:06,960
Please step back. Please step back.
There's nothing to see here.
374
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,840
Move all back. This is private
property, ladies and gentlemen,
375
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:11,280
please move back.
376
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:33,920
Ow!
377
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:07,880
FARIBA CRIES
378
00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:10,240
KNOCK ON DOOR
379
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:13,800
We found this in the kitchen,
Mrs Tartikoff.
380
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:16,160
Could you enlighten us at all?
381
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:18,440
My husband's bat detector.
382
00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:21,640
He'd been tracking this soprano
pipistrelle for the past week,
383
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:24,080
appeared to have come
out of hibernation.
384
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:28,000
Oh, in fact, that's something I
should really have warned you about.
385
00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:44,920
JOEY GASPS
386
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:51,360
Copy that, Sergeant.
387
00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:54,720
I can report the bat net
has just been safely located.
388
00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:59,600
Joey Ross. Joey Ross...
389
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:03,600
Bear with me
just a few seconds.
390
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:05,320
I could switch to voice recognition,
391
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:08,360
but calling up a Wikipedia file
is not without risks.
392
00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:12,160
Now, according to this, you run
a website which catalogues
393
00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:15,200
and explains real life
paranormal experiences,
394
00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:17,640
in occasional collaboration with...
395
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:19,440
Well, well, well!
396
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:21,960
A name that immediately
sprang to mind, of course,
397
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:24,280
when this little puzzle
first presented itself.
398
00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:26,440
He and I had the pleasure of
working together once,
399
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:28,880
on the curious matter
of the limping man... Oh!
400
00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:31,880
..some years before a sniper's
bullet put me in this contraption.
401
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:34,280
So you wouldn't be...
402
00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:35,720
Gideon Pryke?
403
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:37,480
They tried to retire me, of course,
404
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:39,440
but I still have
the use of one finger,
405
00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:41,080
which was enough to argue my case.
406
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:43,760
And, please God, the world's
moved on since Raymond Burr...
407
00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:46,160
Sergeant Cudlipp!
408
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:48,480
The heel of a man's shoe,
size 11 I'd imagine,
409
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:50,560
directly below the victim's study.
410
00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:54,080
Get me a cast, as quick as you like,
and roll out Operation Dandini.
411
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:56,800
Yeah, I think that's where
DC O'Brien would have been, sir,
412
00:29:56,800 --> 00:29:58,240
when he was checking out
the windows.
413
00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:00,320
Except DC O'Brien's tread
is quite dissimilar,
414
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:03,080
and this chap appears to have
been standing hard against the wall
415
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:04,440
with his nose in the bricks.
416
00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:07,280
Unusual behaviour during a
thunderstorm, what do you think?
417
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:09,720
No problem, Guv.
418
00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:13,440
Assigned to me just this week
419
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:16,240
by someone upstairs who knows
bugger all about bugger all.
420
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:18,760
But you've got some form
in this line of inquiry.
421
00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:21,640
What say we go and pool
our early observations?
422
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:32,600
'Franklin Tartikoff, whose dead body
was discovered late last night
423
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:35,320
'by his adopted daughter
Fariba Tartikoff,
424
00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:39,360
'only to vanish, minutes later,
right under everyone's nose.
425
00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:42,000
'But then, hopes of a solution
rose this morning with
426
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:45,240
'the arrival of the formidable
investigator Gideon Pryke,
427
00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:49,080
'who famously suffered near-fatal
injuries five years ago
428
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:53,000
'while rescuing a child's puppy
during the Chinese Embassy siege
429
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:55,640
'and whose unique ability...'
430
00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:58,800
Do you know, I'm not sure now
about these blonde highlights.
431
00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:01,360
Think next time
I might go more Titian.
432
00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:03,520
What does that involve,
formaldehyde?
433
00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:07,000
Hmm? What were you
watching just then?
434
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:12,360
Look, the poor man's dead,
there's nothing we can do about it.
435
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:14,600
Where's that little knob?
436
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:16,080
I'm sorry? You know!
437
00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:19,440
The one we have to keep turning down
when your brain gets overheated.
438
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:21,600
Look, whatever it
is that's happened...
439
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:23,160
PHONE RINGS
440
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:26,880
Probably your managing director
and father-in-law. Excuse me.
441
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:32,720
PHONE RINGS
442
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:34,520
Jonathan Creek.
443
00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:38,200
Oh, hi. Hi.
444
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:40,400
Yeah, of course, who hasn't?
445
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:42,160
I don't know what to say.
446
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:43,960
'I shouldn't have rung you,
it's just...'
447
00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:47,080
You're the only one
I can say this to.
448
00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:49,720
Jonathan...I'm frightened.
449
00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:52,640
'Frightened that...'
450
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:58,040
every certainty, everything I've
ever believed, is about to vanish...
451
00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:01,120
like my husband, and never return.
452
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:11,240
And this was taken...
453
00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:12,640
According to the statements,
454
00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:15,400
about 13 minutes before
they broke down the door.
455
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:20,360
So I can take it we're not
looking at any tomfoolery with
456
00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:23,440
floorboards, or hidden panels, or...
457
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:26,160
So his body was just here.
458
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:29,240
We don't know whether he'd been shot,
or stabbed or what.
459
00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:30,880
Let alone why.
460
00:32:30,880 --> 00:32:34,640
His daughter was just here
- who then fainted.
461
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:38,920
And this'll be, what,
462
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:40,680
like an airing cupboard?
463
00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:44,520
Aargh! Red hot!
464
00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:49,200
Dunno. He wasn't really dead,
465
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:51,880
and he got in the tank
and boiled away?
466
00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:54,160
Oh, God, this is
freaking me out already.
467
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:55,600
Where the hell do you even start?
468
00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:57,360
You disappoint me.
469
00:32:57,360 --> 00:33:01,280
I would have thought the pictures on
the stairs were rather suggestive?
470
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:04,000
Well, there go our two dinner
parties this weekend.
471
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,840
He needs me over there, apparently,
for this top-table powwow.
472
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:09,680
Sounds like they're only projecting
single-digit growth now
473
00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:10,960
across the affiliates.
474
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:13,720
So that's me off to JFK,
crack of dawn.
475
00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:16,400
Better get myself sorted.
I'm so sorry, angel.
476
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:17,720
Oh, well.
477
00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:49,200
SHE CLICKS HER FINGERS
478
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:54,160
The hand in his pocket!
479
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:56,080
Which is a bit of a
weird one for starters
480
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:59,440
but according to those photos out
there, he had that habit, apparently,
481
00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:03,320
of always leaving his thumb outside,
just like hooked over the edge.
482
00:34:03,320 --> 00:34:06,600
Except here it isn't.
483
00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:08,240
The whole hand's inside.
484
00:34:08,240 --> 00:34:10,440
From which we might
fairly conclude...
485
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:13,240
That he didn't put
his hand in his pocket.
486
00:34:13,240 --> 00:34:16,600
Someone else put it there
deliberately, after he was dead.
487
00:34:17,720 --> 00:34:19,080
But for what reason?
488
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:20,840
Well, when we know that,
489
00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:23,080
I suspect we'll have the key
to the whole mystery.
490
00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:25,640
In the meantime, I draw your
attention to a disc that was
491
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:27,440
sitting there in his DVD drive.
492
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:30,320
Fatally corrupted, unfortunately,
so the contents are unknown.
493
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:32,600
"GP". Perhaps they knew
you were coming.
494
00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:36,360
Could be a dead end, of course.
495
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:38,640
But you might be intrigued
to hear what the SOCO boys
496
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:40,360
found on his computer keyboard.
497
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:41,680
What?
498
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:44,960
Nothing. Which, I think you'll
agree, is decidedly fishy.
499
00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:47,960
There wasn't a single
fingerprint on one of the keys.
500
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:50,440
Constable Atkins.
501
00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:53,040
I want a complete shakedown of
every notebook, BlackBerry,
502
00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:54,680
tablet and diary in the house.
503
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:58,120
You're looking for a name
with the initials GP.
504
00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:00,200
An inside job? Possibly.
505
00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:02,800
We'll give that daughter of his
the benefit of the doubt for now,
506
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:04,080
but only for now.
507
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:05,800
Rest assured, someone around here
508
00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:07,920
knows a lot more
than they're saying
509
00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:10,360
and by jingo, I'll have it
out of them before we're done.
510
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:12,160
Until tomorrow?
511
00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:18,640
OK? OK, good.
512
00:35:20,240 --> 00:35:24,200
Oh. It's going to be a
miserable weekend for you,
513
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:27,680
rattling around here on
your own like a spare part.
514
00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:29,400
What are you going do with yourself?
515
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:30,680
God only knows.
516
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:38,680
Just come back in one piece, OK? OK.
517
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:43,840
And love to your dad!
518
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:16,640
Listen, Fariba.
That day in the field with Brad...
519
00:36:16,640 --> 00:36:18,600
Is of no consequence to us now.
520
00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:22,440
That's not who we are.
521
00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:24,000
It's not what we are.
522
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:29,120
Something inside us
523
00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:32,240
deep and infinite
that can't be measured.
524
00:36:32,240 --> 00:36:36,760
That was never created
and can never die.
525
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:38,440
Do you buy into that, Joey?
526
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:43,520
We talk about belief, religion.
527
00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:45,560
I see only wisdom.
528
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:48,960
The wisdom to accept
what we can never know.
529
00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:54,440
This is where you part company
slightly, I gather, from your, erm...
530
00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:04,840
I was three years old when
they rescued me from the floods.
531
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:09,080
Mayabunder in the Andaman Islands.
532
00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:11,880
He was out there doing
a series about Marco Polo.
533
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:17,960
Growing up in the West, I don't
know... Did I lose something?
534
00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:24,520
Maybe that's why I went back,
to find out.
535
00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:28,120
Transubstantiation
of the body into spirit.
536
00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:32,720
Can a human being
just float away into thin...
537
00:37:32,720 --> 00:37:34,800
If you don't mind me
giving it the once over.
538
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:36,160
PRYKE: Shall we say half an hour?
539
00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:38,160
Anything else you need,
just give me a shout.
540
00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:40,880
Otherwise, all yours then, Mr Creek.
541
00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:43,160
It's good to have you
back in the saddle.
542
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:47,560
Well, this is poor.
543
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:52,840
But then, I call in Don Draper to
solve a crime, what do I expect?
544
00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:55,360
So what changed your mind then,
in the end?
545
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:58,880
No, it's just...you look at
this picture by the police
546
00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:03,240
when they got here against the one
she took out there on the landing...
547
00:38:03,240 --> 00:38:07,240
Why can't I shake off the
feeling there's something missing?
548
00:38:07,240 --> 00:38:09,560
Err, yes. A dead body?
549
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:11,440
Sort of why we're all here.
550
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:16,160
No, it's too subliminal still.
Just won't come.
551
00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:21,880
So you noticed the hand in the
pocket with no thumb sticking out?
552
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:24,720
Yes. And that shoe print
under the window
553
00:38:24,720 --> 00:38:26,080
that was flush against the wall?
554
00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:27,520
Yes.
555
00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:30,680
And the small piece of squashed
Blu-tack lying over there on the
floor?
556
00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:32,200
Y...
557
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:34,280
What's that got to do with anything?
558
00:38:35,880 --> 00:38:38,640
Nothing, possibly.
559
00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:42,520
Or it could be the most significant
detail in the whole case.
560
00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:45,680
I suppose the "GP"
on that corrupted disc
561
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:48,520
is unlikely to be our doctor friend.
562
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:51,600
Even if he is sleeping
with the wife.
563
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:53,640
Where the hell did you get that from?
564
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:55,920
She told me.
565
00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:57,600
Why go on pretending?
566
00:38:58,720 --> 00:39:00,200
Franklin and I...
567
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:04,360
It was never that sort of marriage.
568
00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:07,160
We both knew that
almost from the start.
569
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:10,520
He was just simply the most
astonishing, provocative
570
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:13,080
and intellectually gifted man
I'd ever known.
571
00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:15,840
As hard as it was,
I'd prepared myself to lose him.
572
00:39:15,840 --> 00:39:17,360
But not like this.
573
00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:23,080
One other point, Mrs Tartikoff,
you may be able to help us with.
574
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:25,960
A text my sergeant
found on your phone,
575
00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:27,720
dated January 3rd.
576
00:39:27,720 --> 00:39:32,240
"Remember 1968,
the year of the Circles."
577
00:39:32,240 --> 00:39:34,560
From someone called Beth.
578
00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:36,520
Yes. Someone I knew at school.
579
00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:39,760
St Barnabas Roman Catholic,
not far from here.
580
00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:42,840
One of our old classmates
had just died, and...
581
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:47,320
No doubt you've already checked
up on the history of it all.
582
00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:48,720
No doubt I have.
583
00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:51,400
A rather queer business in which
a 14-year-old girl was found
584
00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:55,360
dead in bed,
with a red ring on her face.
585
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:57,480
No apparent explanation
for what killed her,
586
00:39:57,480 --> 00:40:01,200
but the general consensus
was "sheer terror."
587
00:40:02,240 --> 00:40:05,800
More red rings were subsequently
reported on several other girls,
588
00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:07,440
but they lived to tell the tale.
589
00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:14,120
You can imagine the effect
it had on us - young,
impressionable schoolchildren.
590
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:18,200
Anyway, bizarre as it was,
it's all ancient history now,
591
00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:21,640
but there is something else,
Inspector, you might
be interested in
592
00:40:21,640 --> 00:40:26,080
that's rather more current,
and rather more sinister.
593
00:40:26,080 --> 00:40:29,160
And so this is saying what, exactly?
594
00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:33,040
They think there might be
some kind of local secret society
in the village.
595
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:35,080
This appeared 18 months ago,
596
00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:37,720
and I know plenty of people
say it's still going on.
597
00:40:37,720 --> 00:40:40,400
Arcane activities. You can
never get anyone to talk
598
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:43,360
about it, of course, but we've
no idea what they're up to.
599
00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:45,960
What, a few rolled-up trouser legs
and the odd moose head?
600
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:48,680
I don't think we'll lose any sleep
over this one, Mrs Tartikoff.
601
00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:49,800
But rest assured,
602
00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:53,040
if I spot any dodgy handshakes in
the village, I'll let you know.
603
00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:56,240
Yes, well, I need to be getting off
now, to this seminar.
604
00:40:56,240 --> 00:40:59,400
I am contactable,
if you need anything else.
605
00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:02,800
I understand, Mrs Tartikoff.
Life goes on.
606
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:03,920
What?
607
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:07,240
If I could ask you not to leave
the country until our enquiries
are completed...
608
00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:12,800
Load of old bollocks that was!
Are you blind?
609
00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:16,800
That secret society thing was
so obviously just to get us
all out of this room. Why?
610
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:19,720
Cos there was something in this
drawer, didn't you notice?
611
00:41:19,720 --> 00:41:22,320
That she very niftily locked away
when all that talk came up,
612
00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:25,400
about her old school. So come on,
have you got all the gubbins?
613
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:27,920
No, I have not got all the gubbins!
614
00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:30,920
This is a blatant intrusion into
the privacy of a grieving woman.
615
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:33,440
Oh, don't be such an infant!
I'll do it myself.
616
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:37,520
You know, you want to be careful.
617
00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:40,440
Women who butter you up like that,
they're usually after something.
618
00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:43,080
Who said she was buttering
me... Put down that foot file!
619
00:41:43,080 --> 00:41:47,000
I demand that y... Do you have
you any idea the damage
you're doing with that?
620
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:48,880
Right.
621
00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:50,480
OK.
622
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:53,400
Pound to the penny, this is what
she didn't want us to see.
623
00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:57,000
Postmark, same date as that text.
624
00:42:00,240 --> 00:42:02,520
Her down here on the right,
would you say?
625
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:04,240
With three of her old buddies.
626
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:08,960
Waxwood Cove, March '68.
627
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:11,160
Waxwood Hall I thought that place
was called,
628
00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:13,160
but named after somewhere
on the coast maybe?
629
00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:16,680
They all went to on a field
trip once, or... Mmm.
630
00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:18,960
And what have we got here
when it's at home?
631
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:20,760
Some sort of schoolgirl's code?
632
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:22,880
With a drawing of a hangman.
633
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:27,240
Come on, you put all this together
with "the year of the circles",
634
00:42:27,240 --> 00:42:32,440
why was she so keen to convince us
it was all just ancient history?
635
00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:36,160
And why did the word
'circles' have a capital C?
636
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:38,880
Just get the feeling all that
weird stuff that happened there,
637
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:41,160
there's got to be a connection.
638
00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:43,640
Something that still haunts her
to this day
639
00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:47,040
and has somehow wormed its way
into every corner of her life.
640
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:51,560
So, where exactly is this
Waxwood Hall?
641
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:08,800
You know there's some interesting
stuff here, about this place
642
00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:10,640
when you start looking for it.
643
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:13,520
It says here, another thing
a lot of ex-pupils talked about
644
00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:16,000
was something called
the "quiet room",
645
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:19,240
which was like a room where the
nuns would put unruly pupils
646
00:43:19,240 --> 00:43:21,800
with just some bread and water
and a bible
647
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:26,160
"to study and contemplate and redeem
themselves through prayer."
648
00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:28,800
Like being banged up in solitary
for the night.
649
00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:30,360
But what's weird is, listen to this:
650
00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:34,720
"Notwithstanding their rebellious
nature, many of the girls
who were thus confined
651
00:43:34,720 --> 00:43:38,720
"actually said they had seen God
in the room, with several others
652
00:43:38,720 --> 00:43:43,920
"claiming they had actually been
touched by the blessed saint
as they reached out to him."
653
00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:50,880
METALLIC TWANGING NOISE
654
00:44:19,720 --> 00:44:22,800
Well, I think that gives the lie
to our "seaside trip".
655
00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:27,240
Question is why would you label
a photo that was taken in that
room upstairs "Waxwood Cove"?
656
00:44:27,240 --> 00:44:30,520
Jonathan, I've got a horrible feeling
we're not alone in this place.
657
00:44:30,520 --> 00:44:33,200
I just heard this, I don't know what
it was, like this strange
658
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:37,400
metallic twanging noise. Seemed to be
coming from down there, somewhere.
659
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:42,160
Wait here.
660
00:45:52,440 --> 00:45:55,520
Listen, I think
I might've sussed that code!
661
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:58,160
Did they leave any chalk in here? Ah!
662
00:45:58,160 --> 00:46:01,600
There's a definite feeling in here.
663
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:06,000
You shudder to imagine what it
was like living in this place.
664
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:08,400
The clue is the hangman!
665
00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:11,880
You think about the hangman game -
what's the first thing you do,
666
00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:14,120
before you try and guess the word?
667
00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:17,320
You draw a small horizontal
line for each letter.
668
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:22,680
Except on this, it's the other way
round, which means...
669
00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:28,800
..if we fill in all
the base-lines afterwards...
670
00:46:47,400 --> 00:46:48,400
Mmm.
671
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:51,800
What do you mean, "Mmm"?
672
00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:54,360
That's got to be worth more than
"Mmm" any day of the week!
673
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:56,920
I'd like to see you manage
to work that one out.
674
00:47:07,240 --> 00:47:08,760
But, no, very good.
675
00:47:11,240 --> 00:47:13,760
Question is,
WHAT would be at midnight?
676
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:17,440
It's easy to think that
"year of the Circles"
677
00:47:17,440 --> 00:47:20,440
referred to those rings that
appeared on their heads,
678
00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:24,360
but I don't know. The capital C
threw up another possibility that
679
00:47:24,360 --> 00:47:27,840
would dovetail rather neatly with
that photo taken upstairs.
680
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:32,720
Waxwood Cove quite obviously makes
no sense as a place name.
681
00:47:32,720 --> 00:47:35,920
But what if the end of that photo
had been cut off
682
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:38,880
to remove something, or someone
else, from the picture
683
00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:41,600
and at the same time
part of the writing went with it.
684
00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:46,040
Well it's...it's hardly a theory
we can test at this stage,
685
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:50,360
but how much more tenable is the
idea of a Waxwood Coven
686
00:47:50,360 --> 00:47:55,000
and a group of mutinous Catholic
schoolgirls adopting the name of a
witch from Greek mythology -
687
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:59,160
let's say, for example,
the Four Circes
688
00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:06,160
which didn't quite make it
past the predictive text option
on that phone message. Oh, wow.
689
00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:09,320
So you think they might have had
their own little secret society
690
00:48:09,320 --> 00:48:12,160
that had something to do with those
rings and the girl that died?
691
00:48:14,080 --> 00:48:19,120
Whatever it was that happened
that night, this suggests
they knew it was coming.
692
00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:22,680
And it's something she's still
trying to deal with.
693
00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:30,280
Well, I wonder where this
"quiet room" was, when it's at home.
694
00:49:43,680 --> 00:49:45,960
Ah! Agh!
695
00:49:49,680 --> 00:49:51,160
SHOUTS: Jonathan!
696
00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:04,400
Joey? What happened? Are you OK?
697
00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:07,960
What...in the name of Hell
was all that about?!
698
00:50:18,240 --> 00:50:19,400
Back in a sec.
699
00:50:54,880 --> 00:50:57,960
So I guess we know now
how those nuns made them
700
00:50:57,960 --> 00:51:00,760
all feel they'd been
"touched by the Lord".
701
00:51:00,760 --> 00:51:04,520
It would appear someone round
here's doing a rather naff
job of trying to frighten us off.
702
00:51:04,520 --> 00:51:07,760
Yes, not that naff!
Can we please just leave?
703
00:51:14,240 --> 00:51:15,320
Thank you.
704
00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:20,080
Fun and games for you there then,
Mr Creek.
705
00:51:20,080 --> 00:51:22,800
And I wonder what you'll
make of this little gem.
706
00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:27,280
Submitted by a local busybody
with a handy bit of surveillance kit
on his property.
707
00:51:27,280 --> 00:51:31,160
These are off a CCTV from the top
of a pole outside his house.
708
00:51:31,160 --> 00:51:34,440
Timed at 1.17am on the night
of Tartikoff's death.
709
00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:39,920
Like some kind of straw effigy.
Being burnt at the stake?
710
00:51:43,720 --> 00:51:47,240
What do you think? WI been
watching The Wicker Man again?
711
00:51:47,240 --> 00:51:49,600
We popped along to that spot
this morning.
712
00:51:49,600 --> 00:51:51,800
Found nothing but a sea of ash,
of course.
713
00:51:51,800 --> 00:51:54,440
Anyway, have to love you
and leave you, I'm afraid.
714
00:51:54,440 --> 00:51:57,480
Looks like we've found our elusive
"GP" finally.
715
00:51:57,480 --> 00:52:00,800
Entry in the deceased's personal
organiser. Next Monday at ten,
716
00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:04,000
he had a meeting arranged with
a certain Greta Portland.
717
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:06,920
Not many of those on the electoral
roll, but we have turned up one
718
00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:10,520
in South Derbyshire, so anything
exciting, I'll give you a bell.
719
00:52:14,880 --> 00:52:19,680
So, there you go, that's us both
booked in upstairs for later.
720
00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:22,520
You never worry at all what the
missus might make of all this?
721
00:52:22,520 --> 00:52:25,000
Remember,
she only knows you as Clark Kent.
722
00:52:26,720 --> 00:52:28,800
So that's it then now, is it?
723
00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:32,920
Pulling women out of elephants
and sawing rabbits in half.
All done with.
724
00:52:32,920 --> 00:52:35,360
All done with, thank you.
725
00:52:35,360 --> 00:52:38,400
It's a little thing called "growth",
you should try it some time.
726
00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:45,440
Course, he never said, did he,
where those pictures were taken,
727
00:52:45,440 --> 00:52:48,400
but if we're talking fields
and farms,
728
00:52:48,400 --> 00:52:50,680
I think I might know someone
who can help.
729
00:52:51,880 --> 00:52:54,640
So just a very quick recap,
if I may.
730
00:52:54,640 --> 00:52:57,800
This guy Brad, you think may be
able to help us,
731
00:52:57,800 --> 00:53:00,360
you don't actually know his surname.
732
00:53:00,360 --> 00:53:02,320
Or where he comes from.
733
00:53:02,320 --> 00:53:05,800
Or his phone number, or his address.
734
00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:09,240
Or anything about his background, or
basically anything about him at all.
735
00:53:09,240 --> 00:53:12,040
Well, no,
we didn't really get that far.
736
00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:13,720
You only got as far as sex.
737
00:53:13,720 --> 00:53:17,080
Well, yes. It was a very cold day.
738
00:53:17,080 --> 00:53:20,440
A very cold day? Of all the spurious
mitigation!
739
00:53:20,440 --> 00:53:22,280
What happened to putting on a scarf?
740
00:53:24,320 --> 00:53:26,200
I despair of the modern generation.
741
00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:28,520
Hey, don't take your bedroom
frustrations out on me!
742
00:53:28,520 --> 00:53:31,080
Just cos you're off the market now.
I beg your pardon?
743
00:53:31,080 --> 00:53:33,240
And the reason I didn't pursue it,
744
00:53:33,240 --> 00:53:35,880
was when I found out she was still
technically in the frame,
745
00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:38,280
I just thought
I should fall on my sword.
746
00:53:38,280 --> 00:53:41,000
But not before you'd
fallen on his sword!
747
00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:46,120
God, you can't turn it off,
can you? What now?
748
00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:49,360
This piece of timber...
749
00:53:50,760 --> 00:53:53,560
..has been very recently fixed
across that post,
750
00:53:53,560 --> 00:53:55,240
about six feet off the ground.
751
00:53:56,520 --> 00:53:57,760
And we know that how?
752
00:53:59,440 --> 00:54:02,920
Pattern of old slug trails,
you can just make out.
753
00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:11,200
And these hooks, with what appear
to be wisps of rope through them...
754
00:54:12,800 --> 00:54:14,320
..it's almost like...
755
00:54:16,880 --> 00:54:20,080
Ah. Funnily enough,
we were just talking about you.
756
00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:39,400
KNOCK AT DOOR
757
00:54:50,080 --> 00:54:51,560
Can we talk?
758
00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:11,200
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
759
00:55:12,760 --> 00:55:13,880
Fariba Tartikoff.
760
00:55:14,960 --> 00:55:16,160
Sorry?
761
00:55:17,520 --> 00:55:20,640
Sorry, it's a terrible line. Just
one second, can you hold on?
762
00:55:20,640 --> 00:55:23,520
I'm just seeing
if I can get a better signal here.
763
00:55:23,520 --> 00:55:25,120
Ah, hello?
764
00:55:25,120 --> 00:55:26,760
Eileen...sorry?
765
00:55:28,360 --> 00:55:30,240
Eileen Aubrey?
766
00:55:30,240 --> 00:55:31,600
No, no, no!
767
00:55:31,600 --> 00:55:35,400
Of course I know your work,
obviously, yes! Yeah, sure,
768
00:55:35,400 --> 00:55:40,160
I can do. Any reason why we have
to meet there or...?
769
00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:45,800
No, that's fine.
770
00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:47,120
OK.
771
00:55:50,400 --> 00:55:52,520
OK, yeah, got that.
772
00:55:53,960 --> 00:55:55,920
Right, well, I'll see you then.
773
00:56:03,760 --> 00:56:06,800
You and I, Jonathan,
we both see the world as it is.
774
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:12,520
Gods and spirits, and magic,
and miracles!
775
00:56:12,520 --> 00:56:14,800
The eternal refuge of the credulous.
776
00:56:16,240 --> 00:56:20,280
And yet...and yet. I know.
777
00:56:20,280 --> 00:56:23,800
For all the niggling little pointers
in this case, that seemed to
778
00:56:23,800 --> 00:56:29,040
promise so much, as things stand,
you have to say, what happened
779
00:56:29,040 --> 00:56:33,720
in that room with your husband
just isn't physically possible.
780
00:56:39,360 --> 00:56:42,520
I've never told this to anyone,
but...
781
00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:45,880
I had, once, an experience
at school.
782
00:56:45,880 --> 00:56:49,080
In which you were locked in a room
with bread and water and a bible,
783
00:56:49,080 --> 00:56:52,000
and a portrait of St Barnabas,
and you had a vision of God?
784
00:56:54,480 --> 00:56:58,600
Along with a whole load
of other pupils who were sent
to the "quiet room".
785
00:56:58,600 --> 00:57:01,920
Not quite the miracle it
seemed at the time, I would suggest.
786
00:57:04,200 --> 00:57:08,240
But the reason you buried it,
I'm guessing now,
787
00:57:08,240 --> 00:57:11,680
is because you couldn't face
the idea of being judged...
788
00:57:11,680 --> 00:57:16,680
for a mortal sin, committed by you
and your Catholic school friends
789
00:57:16,680 --> 00:57:21,760
who belonged to this, whatever it
was called, Waxwood Hall
witches' coven.
790
00:57:24,680 --> 00:57:26,120
The Sisters of Circe.
791
00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:31,840
There's a nice Woody Allen story
about a guy goes to the opera
792
00:57:31,840 --> 00:57:34,160
and accidentally
falls into the orchestra pit.
793
00:57:34,160 --> 00:57:36,120
Too proud to admit his mistake,
794
00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:39,920
he goes back every night for a month
and does exactly the same thing.
795
00:57:41,120 --> 00:57:44,560
There's an echo of that here,
isn't there?
796
00:57:44,560 --> 00:57:48,760
Those red rings that appeared
on all the other girls' heads
797
00:57:48,760 --> 00:57:52,640
just had to be a smokescreen
you deliberately repeated,
798
00:57:52,640 --> 00:57:58,160
to make other people think the first
one was part of some bigger,
supernatural mystery.
799
00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:03,320
I can speculate, Rosalind,
till the cows come home,
800
00:58:03,320 --> 00:58:07,840
about what happened
that day, "at midnight"...
801
00:58:09,840 --> 00:58:14,320
..but some kind of initiation rite
for the new girl
that went horribly wrong?
802
00:58:19,040 --> 00:58:23,840
The cruellest irony - she was
so desperate to join.
803
00:58:23,840 --> 00:58:27,480
Of course we told her she'd
first of all have to prove herself.
804
00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:31,200
Survive this fiendish endurance
test we'd prepared for her.
805
00:58:34,280 --> 00:58:37,840
The time has come.
Midnight is upon us all.
806
00:58:37,840 --> 00:58:41,880
The witching hour.
The witching hour.
807
00:58:41,880 --> 00:58:45,040
Prepare you now to join
the daughters of Lucifer.
808
00:58:45,040 --> 00:58:47,920
The sisters of Circes.
And nor shall you cry.
809
00:58:50,640 --> 00:58:53,000
Prepare to face your darkness.
810
00:58:59,680 --> 00:59:04,520
What we had no way of knowing -
how could we possibly have known -
811
00:59:04,520 --> 00:59:06,800
She had an allergy to bees.
812
00:59:06,800 --> 00:59:11,720
Something we found out, by purest
chance, weeks, months later.
813
00:59:13,120 --> 00:59:17,680
To my dying day, I'll never forget
the way she struggled!
814
00:59:19,320 --> 00:59:22,560
She was trying to tell us
her life was in danger.
815
00:59:23,960 --> 00:59:27,440
Somewhere along the line,
her heart gave out.
816
00:59:27,440 --> 00:59:33,040
The fear, the sheer terror,
she just stopped breathing.
817
00:59:35,320 --> 00:59:36,760
How did this happen?!
818
00:59:38,840 --> 00:59:40,000
What could we do?
819
00:59:41,600 --> 00:59:45,680
To our eternal shame,
we did nothing.
820
00:59:48,880 --> 00:59:50,440
None of this ever happened.
821
00:59:53,240 --> 00:59:57,040
Our minds were already so crammed
with make-believe.
822
00:59:57,040 --> 01:00:02,680
Was it one more act of rebellion
to create this monstrous lie
823
01:00:02,680 --> 01:00:05,400
we'd have to live with
for the rest of our days?
824
01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:09,120
Sister!
825
01:00:09,120 --> 01:00:12,200
SCREAMS
826
01:00:12,200 --> 01:00:15,920
Even when she wrote to me, Beth,
and sent me the photo...
827
01:00:18,600 --> 01:00:23,120
..how could I bear, even now,
to look into those eyes?
828
01:00:31,080 --> 01:00:35,080
How could I seek forgiveness
when there was no one there?
829
01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:39,080
You see my problem?
830
01:00:40,880 --> 01:00:45,720
Existence of a supreme being may
be one for another day,
831
01:00:45,720 --> 01:00:49,080
but whoever those fingers
belonged to,
832
01:00:49,080 --> 01:00:52,640
you touched in that room, it
certainly wasn't God or any saint.
833
01:00:54,680 --> 01:00:58,880
If it wasn't for the setting
of a girls' convent school,
834
01:00:58,880 --> 01:01:05,040
any kind of instant religious
experience in the mid-1960s
wouldn't take a lot of explaining.
835
01:01:05,040 --> 01:01:08,040
Especially when you
factor in a supply of sugar cubes.
836
01:01:10,600 --> 01:01:14,040
Did they even have any idea
what they were playing about with?
837
01:01:54,280 --> 01:01:56,120
Polly's in New York, did you say?
838
01:01:58,080 --> 01:01:59,480
Yeah, till Monday.
839
01:02:01,680 --> 01:02:03,240
She's a lucky girl.
840
01:02:14,520 --> 01:02:16,200
RINGS DOORBELL
841
01:02:33,840 --> 01:02:36,520
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
842
01:02:39,480 --> 01:02:41,000
Jonathan Creek.
843
01:02:41,000 --> 01:02:43,960
Yeah, she was here, only just left.
844
01:02:43,960 --> 01:02:47,520
Actually we...we got to the bottom
of a couple of things, which...
845
01:02:49,000 --> 01:02:50,680
Sorry - when was this? 'Down here!'
846
01:02:50,680 --> 01:02:53,240
Someone called Eileen Aubrey?
847
01:02:53,240 --> 01:02:57,640
Wanted her to meet up at eight
o'clock tonight in the "East Barn".
848
01:02:57,640 --> 01:02:59,520
'I looked up the name,'
849
01:02:59,520 --> 01:03:02,040
she writes for
one of these TV trade papers,
850
01:03:02,040 --> 01:03:03,880
but at that time of night?
851
01:03:03,880 --> 01:03:06,080
Don't know, someone's up
to something round here.
852
01:03:06,080 --> 01:03:07,840
What if it's some kind of set-up?
853
01:03:09,440 --> 01:03:13,400
I mean, I don't know. Whoever tried
to throttle me in that room,
what if...(INAUDIBLE)
854
01:04:11,480 --> 01:04:15,080
ORIENTAL MUSIC PLAYS
855
01:04:32,320 --> 01:04:36,000
You're not telling me this is what
that secret society was all about?
856
01:04:36,000 --> 01:04:38,720
Only one of your soppy
Magic Circle outfits.
857
01:04:51,760 --> 01:04:54,720
That's what it was that was
missing from that photo.
858
01:04:58,240 --> 01:05:00,440
I can see it now, plain as day.
859
01:05:02,880 --> 01:05:05,440
Africa. What?
860
01:05:05,440 --> 01:05:07,880
APPLAUSE BELOW
861
01:05:07,880 --> 01:05:10,640
No sign of Fariba here, I notice.
862
01:05:10,640 --> 01:05:13,160
And it's just coming up
to eight o'clock now.
863
01:05:18,360 --> 01:05:19,520
Hang on.
864
01:05:20,680 --> 01:05:22,400
East Barn, you said?
865
01:05:23,960 --> 01:05:27,480
But if the moon's over there...
No, I wrote it down.
866
01:05:27,480 --> 01:05:30,120
That's exactly what she put.
867
01:05:30,120 --> 01:05:33,120
You didn't say she put a full stop!
868
01:05:33,120 --> 01:05:36,280
So? Cos it's not East Barn at all,
is it?
869
01:05:36,280 --> 01:05:40,240
EA - Eileen Aubrey. St Barnabas.
870
01:05:41,880 --> 01:05:43,600
We're in the wrong place!
871
01:06:13,200 --> 01:06:15,800
METALLIC TWANGING SOUND
872
01:07:11,120 --> 01:07:12,560
Look out! Ah! No!
873
01:07:17,200 --> 01:07:18,680
No!
874
01:07:18,680 --> 01:07:22,160
They said you might be...in
some...some danger.
875
01:07:22,160 --> 01:07:24,920
I followed you here.
Don't try to talk!
876
01:07:39,400 --> 01:07:41,960
Oh!
SHE SOBS
877
01:08:02,760 --> 01:08:07,600
You always said there are some
things we can never know.
878
01:08:13,760 --> 01:08:18,560
So, is this where
I have to admit you were right?
879
01:08:36,960 --> 01:08:38,560
What a bore.
880
01:08:53,920 --> 01:08:56,720
This won't take us long,
ladies and gentlemen.
881
01:08:56,720 --> 01:08:59,040
But on the back of last night's
tragic developments,
882
01:08:59,040 --> 01:09:01,680
I thought it might be a good idea
to just pool our thoughts
883
01:09:01,680 --> 01:09:05,400
and see if we can't nudge this one,
finally, into the back of the net.
884
01:09:05,400 --> 01:09:08,280
Sceptic, as I was, about all that
secret society nonsense,
885
01:09:08,280 --> 01:09:11,320
it turns out to have been
at the very heart of this illusion.
886
01:09:11,320 --> 01:09:14,240
An illusion as ingenious
as it was macabre.
887
01:09:14,240 --> 01:09:17,640
And perpetrated, it seems,
for the most perverse of motives.
888
01:09:19,120 --> 01:09:22,800
The disappearing body deprived us
of one crucial piece of information
889
01:09:22,800 --> 01:09:26,360
that would have unravelled
this case in seconds.
890
01:09:26,360 --> 01:09:28,200
HOW the victim was killed.
891
01:09:29,560 --> 01:09:33,240
No body, but there was a photo.
892
01:09:34,840 --> 01:09:38,840
A photo that confirmed what everyone
saw - Franklin Tartikoff lying
893
01:09:38,840 --> 01:09:42,760
against the wall, one arm behind his
back, the other hand in his pocket.
894
01:09:43,880 --> 01:09:45,240
Distinctly odd.
895
01:09:45,240 --> 01:09:48,680
And clearly deliberately
engineered by another party.
896
01:09:48,680 --> 01:09:49,640
But why?
897
01:09:51,240 --> 01:09:54,960
A fleeting image last night
of a revolving pumpkin
898
01:09:54,960 --> 01:09:56,680
suddenly unlocked it for me.
899
01:09:58,320 --> 01:10:00,960
What it was that had changed
between these two pictures,
900
01:10:00,960 --> 01:10:03,760
before and after the body
disappeared.
901
01:10:03,760 --> 01:10:08,640
The logic of which led directly to
the reason why that hand
902
01:10:08,640 --> 01:10:11,520
had to be kept out of sight
in that pocket.
903
01:10:13,800 --> 01:10:15,760
Because there was no hand.
904
01:10:20,920 --> 01:10:24,080
For all his credentials
as this iconic polymath,
905
01:10:24,080 --> 01:10:26,520
there was a lighter side,
wasn't there, to your father,
906
01:10:26,520 --> 01:10:30,320
that was all of a piece
with his early work in TV and radio.
907
01:10:30,320 --> 01:10:32,880
And yet another passion,
908
01:10:32,880 --> 01:10:35,920
that he took a mischievous
delight in keeping secret.
909
01:10:38,040 --> 01:10:39,400
Nemo dicite.
910
01:10:40,680 --> 01:10:44,840
"Tell no one". The society was
very strict about all that.
911
01:10:46,400 --> 01:10:50,680
Like everything he turned his mind
to, magic became quite a skill.
912
01:10:51,960 --> 01:10:57,440
Rather like yourself,
he had all these amazing ideas
for different props.
913
01:10:57,440 --> 01:11:00,480
He'd design, I'd put together.
914
01:11:01,480 --> 01:11:05,000
Then we'd meet up to make sure
it all worked.
915
01:11:05,000 --> 01:11:07,360
THUNDER RUMBLES
916
01:11:07,360 --> 01:11:09,280
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
917
01:11:09,280 --> 01:11:10,640
Hey.
918
01:11:11,840 --> 01:11:12,920
Yeah, all set.
919
01:11:15,480 --> 01:11:17,800
In some ways, the perfect
night for it.
920
01:11:26,880 --> 01:11:29,520
'It took me three weeks to build.
921
01:11:29,520 --> 01:11:33,600
'A woman sawn in half and the blade
appears to go right through,
into the wood.
922
01:11:34,960 --> 01:11:38,880
'We were all set to give it
a trial run...when it happened.'
923
01:11:43,800 --> 01:11:47,240
CHAINSAW ENGINE REVS
924
01:12:08,080 --> 01:12:09,560
HE COUGHS
925
01:12:13,240 --> 01:12:16,400
'There was only one person
I could think of turning to.'
926
01:12:20,520 --> 01:12:21,560
Franklin...
927
01:12:24,280 --> 01:12:27,400
I always knew...
there was something else.
928
01:12:28,760 --> 01:12:30,560
The way he was with me...
929
01:12:31,920 --> 01:12:33,920
..it wasn't such a secret
round here.
930
01:12:35,720 --> 01:12:38,440
What if no one believed me?
931
01:12:38,440 --> 01:12:40,400
What if they thought I'd done this?
932
01:12:42,840 --> 01:12:45,120
THUNDERCLAPS
933
01:12:46,400 --> 01:12:47,440
Look...
934
01:12:49,680 --> 01:12:52,920
All I could think
about was my mother.
935
01:12:52,920 --> 01:12:54,120
Somehow,
936
01:12:54,120 --> 01:12:57,600
if I could make it look like he'd
never left the house,
937
01:12:57,600 --> 01:13:00,400
at least she'd be spared
the worst of that horror.
938
01:13:00,400 --> 01:13:01,400
OK, look at me...
939
01:13:01,400 --> 01:13:05,920
'It was like, in some weird way,
I was being tested.
940
01:13:05,920 --> 01:13:08,280
'This was my chance
to make it happen,
941
01:13:09,520 --> 01:13:11,200
'what cannot be explained.'
942
01:14:55,600 --> 01:14:58,400
SHE KNOCKS
Fariba?
943
01:14:58,400 --> 01:15:01,120
'I could make it seem like he'd been
attacked in that room.'
944
01:15:01,120 --> 01:15:02,880
SHE GASPS
Oh, God.
945
01:15:02,880 --> 01:15:04,520
Fariba!
946
01:15:10,440 --> 01:15:13,040
SHE HYPERVENTILATES
'The body would disappear,
947
01:15:13,040 --> 01:15:16,080
'but she would absolutely swear it
had been there.
948
01:15:16,080 --> 01:15:18,800
'It would look like the
flap had just slipped back again.
949
01:15:18,800 --> 01:15:20,360
'She'd go off and ring the police
950
01:15:20,360 --> 01:15:23,640
'and I'd have, maybe ten minutes
to take it all apart.
951
01:15:23,640 --> 01:15:27,200
'When she never moved from outside
door, I had to improvise.'
952
01:16:01,640 --> 01:16:04,880
'Amazingly, I found a few
minutes before the police arrived,
953
01:16:04,880 --> 01:16:06,040
'to recover it all.'
954
01:16:16,120 --> 01:16:19,640
The fact that that globe had
revolved 180 degrees,
955
01:16:19,640 --> 01:16:21,400
of course, proved nothing.
956
01:16:21,400 --> 01:16:24,040
But it was enough to trigger
the only real insight
957
01:16:24,040 --> 01:16:25,720
that made any sense here,
958
01:16:25,720 --> 01:16:28,480
that all we actually need
to think we've seen a body
959
01:16:28,480 --> 01:16:30,280
is the head.
960
01:16:30,280 --> 01:16:33,200
The rest, more or less,
we don't even question.
961
01:16:33,200 --> 01:16:34,960
Except for the hands.
962
01:16:36,200 --> 01:16:39,000
That was where it all started
to unravel.
963
01:16:41,160 --> 01:16:42,400
Maybe...
964
01:16:44,400 --> 01:16:47,280
Maybe I just dared to hope somewhere
in that night of hell,
965
01:16:47,280 --> 01:16:50,120
there was some... purpose.
966
01:16:51,400 --> 01:16:55,400
That I could take her to a place
where science would desert her.
967
01:16:58,920 --> 01:17:00,280
Before she left us,
968
01:17:02,120 --> 01:17:04,200
something deeper,
969
01:17:04,200 --> 01:17:07,160
more meaningful
might find its way into her life.
970
01:17:22,120 --> 01:17:26,240
Of course we still don't know who,
or what, made that statue come down.
971
01:17:26,240 --> 01:17:29,440
Or why the flat of a retired
postmistress called Greta Portland
972
01:17:29,440 --> 01:17:31,880
had been turned over
and not a penny stolen.
973
01:17:33,040 --> 01:17:34,360
Accident?
974
01:17:34,360 --> 01:17:35,880
Coincidence?
975
01:17:35,880 --> 01:17:37,400
Maybe.
976
01:17:37,400 --> 01:17:41,480
Or maybe there's one more sting in
the tail here yet we can't foresee.
977
01:17:48,400 --> 01:17:50,520
One for the professionals,
I think.
978
01:17:55,040 --> 01:17:56,400
TEXT MESSAGE ALERT
979
01:18:08,040 --> 01:18:09,600
Oh...
980
01:18:11,120 --> 01:18:16,280
There you go, staring us right in
the face again as usual. What?
981
01:18:16,280 --> 01:18:17,920
I'll tell you in a bit.
982
01:18:17,920 --> 01:18:20,760
Suffice to say, that on this
occasion, predictive text
983
01:18:20,760 --> 01:18:23,280
would've have done us all a very big
favour.
984
01:18:23,280 --> 01:18:25,640
DIALS A NUMBER
985
01:18:43,960 --> 01:18:47,160
Yes, got that.
986
01:18:47,160 --> 01:18:49,440
That's great.
987
01:18:49,440 --> 01:18:52,440
Erm, I do kind of need to, yes.
988
01:18:52,440 --> 01:18:55,280
'If this checks out, God only knows
what's gonna kick off.'
989
01:18:55,280 --> 01:18:56,800
Oh, great(!)
990
01:18:56,800 --> 01:18:58,920
And so what about Arabella's 40th?
991
01:18:58,920 --> 01:19:01,520
I mean, what time are you going
to be..?
992
01:19:01,520 --> 01:19:03,000
I'll give you a call, OK?
993
01:19:03,000 --> 01:19:05,960
Oh, and if anyone else comes
asking for that address,
994
01:19:05,960 --> 01:19:08,000
'very sorry, but you can't help.'
995
01:19:08,000 --> 01:19:09,360
OK?
996
01:19:09,360 --> 01:19:10,840
Take care, bye.
997
01:19:12,560 --> 01:19:14,320
CAR ENGINE STARTS
998
01:19:31,120 --> 01:19:34,920
So this person I'm about to meet,
when you say keep an open mind,
999
01:19:34,920 --> 01:19:37,040
what's that supposed to...
1000
01:19:38,480 --> 01:19:40,720
Jonathan, hi. I got your message.
1001
01:19:40,720 --> 01:19:42,400
Jacqueline, this is Joey.
1002
01:19:44,240 --> 01:19:47,000
So I think you've got a DVD
we might be interested in.
1003
01:19:57,280 --> 01:20:00,760
How often does it happen?
We all type "great" and get "Greta".
1004
01:20:03,280 --> 01:20:06,080
I'd even seen
it on a guest list a few weeks ago.
1005
01:20:06,080 --> 01:20:08,560
Don't think you know Jack, producer
extraordinaire?
1006
01:20:08,560 --> 01:20:11,040
You still based in Euston,
have I remembered that right?
1007
01:20:11,040 --> 01:20:13,960
Talking of sat navs, have
you had any luck with that demo tape?
1008
01:20:13,960 --> 01:20:16,600
I meant to ask...
FADES OUT
1009
01:20:16,600 --> 01:20:18,560
I had some fanciful notion,
1010
01:20:18,560 --> 01:20:21,760
if we could sell it as a series,
he might come on board...
1011
01:20:21,760 --> 01:20:23,360
in an advisory capacity.
1012
01:20:27,280 --> 01:20:29,640
'So if we can maintain that
fiction,
1013
01:20:29,640 --> 01:20:32,120
'which seems to be working well for
us at the moment,
1014
01:20:32,120 --> 01:20:35,600
'if we can get 50% of the media to
swallow our story
1015
01:20:35,600 --> 01:20:37,240
'then we're home and dry.'
1016
01:20:37,240 --> 01:20:39,640
My God, is that..?
1017
01:20:39,640 --> 01:20:41,400
How did you get hold of this?
1018
01:20:41,400 --> 01:20:44,080
INDISTINCT VOICES ON TV
1019
01:20:52,880 --> 01:20:55,320
LOUD MUSIC AND MUTED TV VOICES
1020
01:21:22,600 --> 01:21:24,600
Well, I'm gobsmacked.
1021
01:21:24,600 --> 01:21:26,880
You imagine if this went public?
1022
01:21:26,880 --> 01:21:29,360
This is what everyone's been saying,
for the last ten years.
1023
01:21:29,360 --> 01:21:31,720
I mean, complete and absolute proof
1024
01:21:31,720 --> 01:21:34,560
they were all lying through their
teeth. It's lethal.
1025
01:21:34,560 --> 01:21:37,880
What's known in the business,
I think, as 'a smoking gun'.
1026
01:21:37,880 --> 01:21:39,880
Or at least it would be...
1027
01:21:39,880 --> 01:21:41,440
if any of it was real.
1028
01:21:42,560 --> 01:21:45,040
The production,
we were more than happy with.
1029
01:21:45,040 --> 01:21:48,200
Uncanny look-alikes and some
brilliant mimics for the voices.
1030
01:21:48,200 --> 01:21:51,920
I just felt, as late-night satire,
it was all a bit clunky.
1031
01:21:52,960 --> 01:21:56,160
Whereas Franklin, I know,
would've given it some wit.
1032
01:21:56,160 --> 01:22:00,240
But how scary is it, that certain
people in very high places
1033
01:22:00,240 --> 01:22:02,640
appear to have somehow got wind of
this footage,
1034
01:22:02,640 --> 01:22:05,600
and took it completely
at face value?
1035
01:22:05,600 --> 01:22:08,840
Then everything we're told never
happens in real life,
1036
01:22:08,840 --> 01:22:11,240
tracking down every copy of the DVD,
1037
01:22:11,240 --> 01:22:14,280
and neutralising anyone who might
have known about it...
1038
01:22:15,680 --> 01:22:18,440
..has been going on,
right under our noses.
1039
01:22:19,480 --> 01:22:22,400
Oh, God. Because Fariba works in
documentaries,
1040
01:22:22,400 --> 01:22:24,800
she could've been a threat.
1041
01:22:24,800 --> 01:22:27,240
And that chainsaw coming to
bits...
1042
01:22:28,800 --> 01:22:30,680
You don't think that was..?
1043
01:22:35,720 --> 01:22:37,680
Oh, shit.
1044
01:22:37,680 --> 01:22:39,280
SHE WHIMPERS
1045
01:22:41,040 --> 01:22:44,200
Oh, God. Polly...
Uh-uh-uh.
1046
01:22:44,200 --> 01:22:47,520
How is that a smart move?
Come on.
1047
01:22:47,520 --> 01:22:51,160
It's OK, you can all relax.
1048
01:22:51,160 --> 01:22:52,760
Oh God, Jonathan.
1049
01:22:52,760 --> 01:22:55,760
We've just got one little
job to take care of
1050
01:22:55,760 --> 01:22:57,520
and then we'll be out of your hair.
1051
01:23:00,960 --> 01:23:02,600
THEY SCREAM
1052
01:23:16,200 --> 01:23:18,400
Just so we've got all bases covered.
1053
01:23:18,400 --> 01:23:21,280
You don't need to do this,
none of that's real!
1054
01:23:23,040 --> 01:23:24,320
Insurance policy.
1055
01:23:25,480 --> 01:23:28,840
We'll see what you make of this
locked room.
1056
01:23:28,840 --> 01:23:30,080
OK!
1057
01:23:31,080 --> 01:23:34,640
I hate to be a killjoy, but that's
not going to work, I'm afraid.
1058
01:23:37,080 --> 01:23:38,360
No, no...
1059
01:23:38,360 --> 01:23:40,480
You think so?
1060
01:23:41,480 --> 01:23:43,040
Try me.
1061
01:23:54,160 --> 01:23:55,560
No!
1062
01:24:01,960 --> 01:24:04,240
Yes, it's dangerous stuff, petrol.
1063
01:24:04,240 --> 01:24:06,280
When I got my lads to
search your car,
1064
01:24:06,280 --> 01:24:08,520
I couldn't quite work out what
it was doing there.
1065
01:24:08,520 --> 01:24:11,080
So I had them replace it with
diluted apple juice.
1066
01:24:11,080 --> 01:24:13,440
Hell of a lot safer,
and healthier too, you'll find.
1067
01:24:13,440 --> 01:24:15,400
I don't think so, matey-girl.
1068
01:24:21,480 --> 01:24:22,920
God, you lot took your time!
1069
01:24:22,920 --> 01:24:26,360
Go on, back to the nick with them,
the fun's over.
1070
01:24:26,360 --> 01:24:27,520
Move!
1071
01:24:27,520 --> 01:24:30,000
All done? All done!
1072
01:24:30,000 --> 01:24:32,080
VOICES DROWNED OUT BY MUSIC
1073
01:24:51,480 --> 01:24:54,320
It all had to start somewhere.
1074
01:24:54,320 --> 01:24:56,320
I'm afraid it started with me.
1075
01:24:56,320 --> 01:24:59,480
A man
who couldn't keep his mouth shut.
1076
01:25:02,120 --> 01:25:05,640
That last day,
I went round to check him over.
1077
01:25:06,680 --> 01:25:08,840
I found myself alone
in the study.
1078
01:25:08,880 --> 01:25:10,320
Ah, that'll be Fariba,
1079
01:25:10,320 --> 01:25:12,840
she told me she'd call me
when she landed. Do you mind?
1080
01:25:12,840 --> 01:25:13,840
No, no...
1081
01:25:21,320 --> 01:25:24,600
'It was devastating stuff,
as I thought.
1082
01:25:25,640 --> 01:25:29,600
'I mean, absolute
political dynamite.
1083
01:25:29,600 --> 01:25:33,520
'I may have mentioned it the next
day to a friend at the golf club.
1084
01:25:33,520 --> 01:25:35,360
'A gentleman...
1085
01:25:35,360 --> 01:25:38,400
'Well, let's say rather well
placed in Whitehall.'
1086
01:25:41,320 --> 01:25:44,760
We can only guess how far it went
...up the ladder.
1087
01:25:45,880 --> 01:25:47,280
Far enough, at any rate,
1088
01:25:47,280 --> 01:25:49,760
for a couple of specialists
to be planted on my team
1089
01:25:49,760 --> 01:25:52,200
having
already set about their dirty work.
1090
01:26:00,960 --> 01:26:03,400
Took me a while to rumble that
one, I'm afraid.
1091
01:26:03,400 --> 01:26:06,480
Who else could've beaten me
to that false lead in Derbyshire?
1092
01:26:06,480 --> 01:26:08,600
They'll take the rap for all this
today,
1093
01:26:08,600 --> 01:26:10,360
but that's about all.
1094
01:26:10,360 --> 01:26:12,520
Far too smart to leave any
footprints.
1095
01:26:12,520 --> 01:26:14,480
Bit like the people they're
protecting?
1096
01:26:14,480 --> 01:26:16,200
Well, we all know how it works.
1097
01:26:16,200 --> 01:26:19,200
Smooth tongue, big smile
and the right hand gestures,
1098
01:26:19,200 --> 01:26:21,840
you really CAN get away with murder.
1099
01:26:21,840 --> 01:26:23,600
Anyway, thanks.
1100
01:26:23,600 --> 01:26:25,240
No, thank you.
1101
01:26:25,240 --> 01:26:26,920
Enjoy the rest of your Sunday.
1102
01:26:31,600 --> 01:26:32,760
In deciphering the puzzle,
1103
01:26:32,760 --> 01:26:35,200
my attention was drawn to several
key details...
1104
01:26:35,200 --> 01:26:38,840
the prints of the shoes, which
landed in an unusual position
against the wall,
1105
01:26:38,840 --> 01:26:41,040
the way the globe had turned around,
1106
01:26:41,040 --> 01:26:43,720
suggesting it might have been opened
up and used as...
1107
01:26:43,720 --> 01:26:45,120
some kind of hiding place
1108
01:26:45,120 --> 01:26:47,880
and you go through all the various
clues. I mean, it's brilliant!
1109
01:26:47,880 --> 01:26:51,360
Obviously, I know his nibs here's
got no taste any more for that kind
of publicity.
1110
01:26:51,360 --> 01:26:53,400
Wouldn't do his new career
in the City much good.
1111
01:26:53,400 --> 01:26:55,880
Oh, God no. You've got to keep his
name out. Thank you.
1112
01:26:55,880 --> 01:26:57,400
THEY LAUGH AND DOORBELL RINGS
1113
01:26:57,400 --> 01:27:00,400
So, filming an advert for Weetabix,
how does that work, then?
1114
01:27:00,400 --> 01:27:03,360
You get the rushes every day,
presumably?! Stop it!
1115
01:27:03,360 --> 01:27:05,440
JOEY LAUGHS
She's a riot.
1116
01:27:05,440 --> 01:27:09,080
No, listen... I think
you've made the right decision.
1117
01:27:09,080 --> 01:27:11,320
I will admit,
I couldn't see it at first,
1118
01:27:11,320 --> 01:27:15,080
but all this post-modern detective
malarkey, you're right.
1119
01:27:15,080 --> 01:27:16,800
It's a young man's game.
1120
01:27:16,800 --> 01:27:20,240
You don't want to get to the point
where you're embarrassing yourself.
1121
01:27:20,240 --> 01:27:21,920
And she'll be good for you.
1122
01:27:21,920 --> 01:27:23,240
Nice choice.
1123
01:27:23,240 --> 01:27:25,560
Thank you.
1124
01:27:25,560 --> 01:27:28,280
From someone called Brad...
1125
01:27:28,280 --> 01:27:31,120
Oh was, was he that guy
that you, um..?
1126
01:27:35,440 --> 01:27:36,640
"Forgive me, Jonathan,
1127
01:27:36,640 --> 01:27:39,520
"but you'll understand why
I couldn't bear to keep this.
1128
01:27:39,520 --> 01:27:41,600
"Although it may seem ghoulish,
1129
01:27:41,600 --> 01:27:43,240
"I felt you were the one person
1130
01:27:43,240 --> 01:27:46,320
"who would truly appreciate
its finer points."
1131
01:27:46,320 --> 01:27:47,720
Ah.
1132
01:27:47,720 --> 01:27:51,160
So there you go, then. A little
toy for you to play with.
1133
01:27:51,160 --> 01:27:53,280
CHAINSAW AND JOEY LAUGHS
1134
01:27:53,280 --> 01:27:55,720
So where did you first meet this
character anyway?
1135
01:27:55,720 --> 01:27:57,760
At a miserable bastards convention?
1136
01:27:57,760 --> 01:28:00,800
Oh, don't! Don't know what you'd be
doing there. That's another story.
1137
01:28:00,800 --> 01:28:02,840
Friend of mine took me to see this
magic show,
1138
01:28:02,840 --> 01:28:06,080
which is just so not my scene.
Oh, I know what you mean.
1139
01:28:06,080 --> 01:28:08,920
It's this weird little world
they all live in, don't they?
1140
01:28:08,920 --> 01:28:11,520
THEY know it's a con,
WE know it's a con,
1141
01:28:11,520 --> 01:28:13,200
they know we know it's a con,
1142
01:28:13,200 --> 01:28:15,880
and at the end of the day, you're
all like, who's fooling who?
1143
01:28:15,880 --> 01:28:17,360
You might want to get out more.
1144
01:28:17,360 --> 01:28:20,080
And here's an idea,
don't be such a dick.
1145
01:28:21,400 --> 01:28:23,840
Oh. Sorry, how was it?
1146
01:28:23,840 --> 01:28:25,360
Did you have any joy?
1147
01:28:26,960 --> 01:28:29,120
Sadly not.
1148
01:28:29,120 --> 01:28:31,120
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