All language subtitles for Duets.2000

♪♪♪

[Woman]
Whoo!

Oww!

[Off-key]
♪ I'd fall down on my knees ♪

♪ Kiss the ground
that you walk on, baby ♪

♪ If I could just hold you ♪

[Woman]
Whoo!

♪ Again ♪

[Whistling]

♪ Whoa, yeah ♪

♪ If I could
just hold you ♪♪

Baby, you can hold me!

If I could just
hold you again, baby.

Thank you!

All right, Tulsa,
Ronny Jackson!

Let's take a short break,
and then I'll be right back

with our next singer.

♪♪♪

Yeah!

Way to go, Ronny.

Looks like you're on
your way to Omaha.

I didn't give it
a second thought.

How about a beer, Earl?

Your usual?

Please.

Glass of Chardonnay
for Beth.

[laughs]

What, I say something funny?

No. I mean, sort of.

You people do
this every night?

You people?

What do they call it
anyway, karate-okee?

No. That's karaoke.
It's a way of life.

[Chuckles]
Some life.

Can I have another
seven-and-seven?

You bet it is.

Talent like Ronny's brings
in about a thousand bucks

a month, mister.

And that's on top of
what I make at the meat plant.

For amateur singing.

[Beth]
Nothing amateur about it.

A hundred bucks up tonight,
and winning automatically qualifies

for the grand prize
over in Omaha.

And you, mister, are
looking at the winner.

Hey, from what I've seen tonight,
I don't see how you can lose.

[Laughs]

Maybe you'd like to pass through
our little contest here, huh?

I don't have the right costume.

[Giggles]

You don't have the voice.

I beg your pardon.

I'll have you know I was in the choir
all three years of high school.

So sing.

For a hundred bucks?

You gotta be kidding.
It's not even worth it.

Really?

Well, why don't I sweeten
the pot a little bit?

How much you got
in your pockets?

All right. What the hell.
Might be fun.

Let's see. . .

Six hundred and ninety bucks.

Okay.

[Clears Throat]

You're covered.

So what are you gonna sing?

Hell, I don't know.
Whatcha got?

Show him the menu.

Joe Cocker.

All right. You be the bank.

Oh, come on, guys.

- Earl, just hold the money.
- Got it?

- All right?
- Got it?

All right.
All right.

♪♪♪

[Feedback]

[Chattering]

♪ Seems I got to have
a change of scene ♪

♪ Every night I have ♪

♪ Strangest dream ♪

He's good!

♪ Imprisoned by the way ♪

♪ It could have been ♪

♪ Left here on my
own or so it seems ♪

♪ I got to leave
before I start to scream ♪

♪ Oh, someone
locked the door ♪

♪ And took the key ♪

♪ Hey, feelin' alright ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ I'm not feelin'
too good myself ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ Yes, sir ♪

♪ Feelin' alright ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ I'm not feelin'
too good myself, no ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ Boy, you sure took me ♪

♪ For one big ride ♪

♪ Even now I sit
and I wonder why ♪

♪ That when I think of
you I start myself to cry ♪

♪ Can't just waste my time ♪

♪ I must get by ♪

♪ Gotta stop believin'
in all your lies ♪

♪ Oh, there's too much
to do before I die, hey ♪

♪ Feelin' alright ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ I'm not feelin'
too good myself, no ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ Yes, sir ♪

♪ Feelin' alright Uh ho ♪

Whoo!

♪ I'm feelin' alright ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪♪

[Cell Phone Ringing]

Hello.

Yeah, this is Ricky Dean.

What?
Oh, shit.

Honey, you okay?

When?
Oh, shit.

Uh, where?

Um, I don't know.

No, no, I understand.
It's just that--

No, no, no.
I understand.

Hang on a second.
Where am l?

Tulsa.

They got a direct flight
to Vegas?

Oh, yeah, sure.
They got a regular shuttle.

Uh, I can't make it
'til tomorrow night.

All right.

What happened?

Nothing.

Somebody died.

Of course, not as cold across Texas
in comparison to parts of Montana.

It's all relative, though.

[Alarm Buzzing]

Keep that in mind if you're traveling
anywhere from Aspen

over to, uh, the Denver-Fort Collins area.

Winter weather.
Blowing snow also.

You could have very light snow
with an overcast sky,

the wind starts blowing
around even when it's light.

That means very poor visibility.
Be prepared for that.

It's gonna be a cold night.

I'm sorry, everybody.
My plane was delayed.

We re-routed to Atlanta.

I'm very sorry.

That's why they invented
airport hotels.

Right, guys?

- Correct.
- Right.

- Coffee?
- Yes, thank you very much.

That'd be great.

I've been on the go
since Monday.

I'm telling you, I hardly had time
to eat the peanuts

on the airplane.

Okay. I know I've held you guys up,
and I've got another flight at 11:00,

so I'll cut
right to the chase.

Our development guys love
the growth rate in this area.

And the marketing people
are incredibly pumped about

labor costs, real estate,

all the potential spin-offs into
the ancillary service areas.

- Is that mine?
- You betcha.

Why, thank you.

So, we would like to bring
some of our folks down here

to look at possible construction sites,
talk about labor costs, the work pool.

Now we're gonna need your
help with environmental groups,

local zoning boards,
state-level lobby types, et cetera.

Something wrong?

No. It's just, uh--

[Chuckles]
l-I'm not sure what you're talking about.

The park.
The theme park.

Uh, Pilgrim Village, U .S.A.

[Chuckles]
This is the Poultry Retailers Association meeting.

[Laughs]

Oh, gosh.

Uh, well, then I must be
in the wrong room.

Wow. I'm very sorry, guys.
I was just in such a hurry.

Hey, shit happens.

Yeah, yeah.
Anyway.

Thank you.

Thanks for the coffee.
Thanks.

Does anybody know where the
Everglades conference suite is?

Everglades?
This is Houston.

Oh, God.

I thought I was in Orlando.

Hi. You called a cab?

Why do we always get you?

[Laughs]
Um, I don't know.

I'll tell you why.

'Cause nobody else
will take these jobs.

Released criminals are not notorious
for heavy tipping, are they?

Ten bucks, flat rate.

What do you keep lookin' at, kid?

Nothing. I wasn't looking at anything.

Don't give me, Nothing.

I know who you are,
and you know me.

You're Miss Gahagan, aren't you?

Right.

Miss Gahagan, your wonderful,
caring, nurturing third grade teacher

of the Chatsworth Avenue School.

Look at me, kid.
You're Billy Hannon, right?

Yes, ma'am.
Yes, ma'am, I am.

I remember you.

You were one of my
biggest underachievers.

[Snickers]
How come you're driving a cab?

Actually, this is my own cab.
I own it.

Well, I own half.

You own half a cab?
Wow.

Yes.

I'll bet Donald Trump is
lookin' over his shoulder.

You're just bustin' to know
what I was cracked for.

No, I really--
No, I really don't.

Shoplifting.

They caught me at the Grand Union
with a pound of smoked turkey

and two pairs of pantyhose in my crotch.

The bird had one of those, uh--
Goddamn. What do they call it?

Metal things in it.
Set off the detector.

Detectors in food stores.
What a society.

And I don't even want to think
of the number of infants

who swallowed those things
and are choking to death on them.

[Sighs]
What a world.

Eat a bite of turkey,
you go straight to hell.

Right.

Yeah, I guess it's hard
to make ends meet

in the retirement sector.

Oh, I do okay.

I just steal stuff
to fuck with people.

You ever steal anything, Billy?

No, ma'am, I wouldn't do that.

No, no, of course.
You're a basic underachiever.

As always, too scared of
getting caught and judged.

You were more,
uh, the mystical sort.

You were going to be
a priest, if I recall.

Didn't you graduate from Loyola?

No, no.
It just, uh--

It just wasn't my destiny.

Destiny?

[Laughs]
What a crock of shit!

Miss Gahagan,
why don't you take this?

You need this
more than I do.

And listen to me
for a second, okay?

I am not an underachiever.
I'm not.

I am just trying to achieve something
different than most people I know.

Oh, and what is that?

Harmony.

[Laughs]

You're a riot, Billy.

You're kind of pathetic,
but you're a riot.

Let me give you
some advice, Father.

The world is a sewer,
and we're all livin' in hell.

The sooner you can accept that,
the sooner you'll be able

to get on with your life.

So long.

[Newscaster On TV]
It's not often we can show you
tape of a police chase

that goes through two countries.

Our Cindy LaVargas has it.

Hey! Hey. Billy.

What are you--
What are you doing here?

I took off early.

There's a lecture on Zen Buddhism
tonight at the Y.

Man, the saddest thing
happened to me today.

I got a call to go
to the police station--

Are you watching this?

'Cause I can hardly hear
with this thing.

Yeah, um--

Billy, um, um--

[man singing]

Ooh.

God, I'm so--

Billy.

I'm so sorry.

I don't--I don't even know how it happened.

I just, um--

Billy?

I don't--

Oh!

Ralph?

Christ.
Billy.

Oh, God.

Billy, please.
Don't get crazy.

My own partner!

Billy, no, please! Don't go!

[Video Game Beeping]

Hello.

[Chuckles]
Hey, Julie.
Sweetheart?

Hey, Carson.
I'm home, son.

[Beeping Continues]

Missed ya.

[Gunshots]

Thought I was in Florida,
and I was in Texas.

Uh, can you imagine that?

Now I come home and my own kids
can't even say hello to me.

Jeez, wouldn't it be nice if
once when I come home,

someone says hello to me?

Sure.

But just because you come home,
you can't expect everyone to just

drop what they're doing and give you
their undivided attention.

Well--

[Computer Chiming]

You know what I did for
the last 18 months, Candy?

Hmm?

I racked up over
200,000 frequent flier miles,

jamming a bogus Pirates
of the Caribbean village

down some zoning board's throat
in Shell Island, South Carolina.

Took one of the last remaining pristine beaches
on the eastern seaboard,

and I turned it into
Toonville with fast food.

[Chuckles]
Not to mention the turtles.

Turtles?

[Computer Chimes]
Yeah.

Goddamn Shell Island sea turtles.

Oldest living amphibians
in North America.

But now extinct.

Pffft!

Thanks to me.
Why?

Because we needed their
breeding grounds for a water slide.

[Computer Chimes]

But didn't you want
their breeding ground?

Yes.

No.

Honey, could you--
I'm on-line here.

Okay?

[Keyboard Clicking, Computer Chiming]

Where you going?

Sorry, Candy, but I'm going
out for a pack of cigarettes.

But you don't smoke!

♪♪♪

[Organ Playing]

What are you doing?

Just trying to fix her hair.
It's sort of stiff.

They've got her dipped
in hair spray.

- Hear that?
Poor Donna.

- You knew her well?
- Real well.

- Did you?
- Not really.

I guess not.
I would've heard about you.

You live here in Vegas?

Mm-hmm.

Let me guess.
Keno girl?

Hey, buddy,

I worked right alongside
Donna here at the front line

of the Dunes.

I'm about as close as you get
to an aristocrat in this town.

You okay?

Grieving.

Yeah, I can smell it
on your breath.

You must have really loved her.

[Sighs]
Yeah.

I didn't want her
to get an aneurysm.

She's the only friend
I've ever had.

Me too, I guess.

That was a long time ago.

Could you just, like, hold
onto me for a little while?

Oh, Donna would've been so happy
to see you two like this.

Hi, Grandma.

I don't want to interrupt
if you two are bonding.

Do you know him?

Why, of course I know him.
He's your father.

[Grandma]
Where does your mother
keep the mayonnaise, dear?

She didn't believe in mayonnaise.

She didn't believe in mayonnaise?

She didn't believe in
food that required electricity.

Oh, look, see?
There I am in third grade.

That was my birthday party.

And you sent me this, remember?

- Uh, yeah, uh, I think so.
- I'm still wearing it.

You know, I don't understand what
mayonnaise has to do with electricity.

Well, you've got
to refrigerate it.

See, they cut off our power
so many times over the years

that she just went
with the pure preservatives.

Hey, look under the microwave,
in that drawer.

There's a bunch of packs of shit
from Burger King and stuff.

You got it for me in
Springfield, Missouri,

and you sent it from
the airport in St. Louis.

See?
Look.

It's got a B-E over F-R-I .

Yeah, I see that.

Do you still have
the other half?

Oh, I don't know.
You know, maybe somewhere.

Well, that's okay.

It always just kind of
gave me hope.

It's kind of what passes
for a tradition in our family.

It was the last year
you sent a present.

Well, I prefer mayonnaise, but at
least this is Paul Newman's Own.

I just love Paul Newman,
don't you?

I must've rented Sweet Bird of Youth
a hundred times.

So, where are you
living now, Ricky?

Um, nowhere.

I mean, you know, I travel
pretty much all the time.

The gypsy life.
I love it.

I lived it myself
when I was a chorus girl.

But when Mr. Sinatra
got me my job at the Dunes,

the roots began to sprout.

A dynasty was born.

First Donna.
Then Liv.

Hey, you're not eating.

Just when I thought my
whole life was falling apart.

He's like a sign from
heaven, isn't he, Grandma?

Sure is.

Well, I gotta be in Kansas City
early tomorrow morning for a show.

What?
You're leaving?

- He's leaving, Grandma?
- It's okay, honey.

Maybe Liv could keep you
company in Kansas City.

- Really?
- Um, w-well--

Oh, I'm so excited
I gotta pee!

Where's she going?

Next door.

There's always something
wrong with the septic tank.

Look, what are
you talking about?

Listen, you no-good
son of a bitch.

You knock up my daughter
like she's some bitch in heat,

and then you disappear without
so much as a backward glance.

Well, it's time to pay up.

Um, well, I mean, I was
gonna give you something.

You know, for the funeral
and all and, well--

I'm not talking about money,
but I'll take it.

Now, you better listen.

That girl is not gonna lose a mother
and a father in the same week.

Oh, come on!
You can't be serious!

She's got a life here.
I mean, she's got a job.

She's an adult,
for Christ's sake.

Just listen to me.

I don't give a damn
whether you stay or go,

but not until that sweet child
manages to turn her life back around.

She's a special girl.

You may not be much,
but you and I are all she has,

and what she needs now is a father.

Don't be ridiculous.

[Sliding Door Opens]

♪♪♪

[Clears Throat]
Good evening, sir.

- Good evening.
- I would like a room.

- Thank you.
- Of course.

Could you fill this out,
and may I have a credit card?

Ahh, got something better
than a credit card.

I have got over
800,000 frequent flier miles.

I've been wanting to take
advantage of your room credit

offer for years.

I'm sorry, sir, but we don't
have any mileage credit rooms

available this evening.

Oh, you don't have any vacancies?

Yes, we do, but not for
the mileage credit program.

Uh, if you'd like to reserve
a room now for credit,

the earliest I have available is in six weeks.

I would like a room tonight.

We take MasterCard, Visa or AMEX.

♪♪♪

[Woman]
♪ You're a real tough cookie
with a long history ♪

♪ Of breaking little hearts
like the one in me ♪

♪ Before I put another notch
in my lipstick case ♪

♪ You better make sure
you put me in my place ♪

♪ Hit me with
your best shot ♪

♪ Come on Hit me
with your best shot ♪

♪ Hit me with
your best shot ♪

♪ Fire away ♪

♪ Hit me with
your best shot ♪

♪ Why don't you hit
me with your best shot ♪

♪ Hit me with
your best shot ♪

♪ Fire away ♪

♪ Ba ba ba baow ♪♪

[Cheering, Whistling]

♪♪♪

Hey, excuse me.
You are a great singer.

Aw! Karaoke's my life.

Oh.

What is karaoke?

What?
Where you been, mister?

Uh, airport hotel rooms.

Oh. Suburbia.

- Mental jail.
- Ah!

Well, they don't
got it in jail yet,

but they got it in
every bar I ever been in.

And it's what, exactly?

Oh, it's a rush like
you wouldn't believe.

It's like you get to be
a star for three minutes!

Ow!

[Laughs]
Can you sing?

I mean, up there
in front of people?

Oh, well, I used to, actually.
A little bit. A long time ago.

Yeah? Well, what happened?

I don't know.
I guess I went into sales.

Oh, well, are you in sales
at the moment?

[Laughs]
Oh, no.

Actually, I'm out getting
a pack of cigarettes.

Yeah.

I don't know where I am, actually.

Uh, I'm somewhere in
Arizona or something.

Arizona?

[Laughing]
Right?

Are you crazy?
You're in New Mexico.

Oh, Close enough.
They're right next to each other.

[Both Laughing]

Well, why don't you
go ahead and go sing?

No.

- Yeah.
- No!

Oh, come on!
It won't kill you!

No way.
No.

I'd be way too nervous.

Ah!
Okay.

Here. Take one of these.
Just one. Go ahead.

Go on.

Beta blockers.

They chase all
your fears away.

Come on.

Drink up.

Taffy!

Good boy.

Sheila!

What can I do for you?

Can you do me a little favor?

My friend here is
desperate to sing.

Oh, no.

Are you sure?

No, no, thank you.
No, I couldn't.

Oh, come on!

I couldn't. No.
They're not workin' yet.

Uhhh!

Mm-hmm.

Go! You can do it!

Okay! What the hell!

[Laughs]
All right!
What's your name?

Todd.

Yeah.

Don't be afraid.
Come on up.

Whoa, whoa.
What am I supposed to sing?

I'm gonna put a song on.
Watch the monitor and sing.

Everyone, a warm
welcome for Todd.

He's a little nervous.

[Applause]

[Man]
Come on, brother!
Sing your song!

♪♪♪

♪ Hello, it's me ♪

[Groaning, Laughing]

♪ Hello, it's me ♪

[Music Stops]

I'm sorry, honey.

You started a little too soon.

You wait 'til
the colors change.

We'll try it again.

Okay.

♪♪♪

♪ Hello, it's me ♪

♪ I've thought about us
for a long, long time ♪

♪ Maybe I think too much
but something's wrong ♪

♪ There's something here
that doesn't last too long ♪

[Girls Giggling]

♪ Maybe I shouldn't
think of you as mine ♪

[Woman]
Yeah!

[Man Hoots]

[Cheering]

♪ Seein' you ♪

♪ Or seeing anything
as much as I do you ♪

♪ I take for granted
that you're always there ♪

♪ I take for granted
that you just don't care ♪

♪ Sometimes I can't help
seein' all the way through ♪

[Cheering]

Yeah!

[Cheering Continues]

Whoo!

Yeah!

♪ It's important to me ♪

♪ That you know you are free ♪

♪ 'Cause I never wanna ♪

Hey, Taffy.

♪ Make you change for me ♪

He's so cute, isn't he?

Yeah, he is.

♪ Think of me ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ You know that I'd
be with you if I could ♪

♪ I'll come around to see you
once in a while ♪

♪ Or if I ever need
a reason to smile ♪

♪ And spend the night
if you think I should ♪♪

Hey, lady, can
you help me out?

Hey.

Oh, no.

I spent my last
money on that bus.

Maybe you can help me out.

They got a karaoke bar
around here?

Oh, I wouldn't know.

I guess you wouldn't, would you?

Anyway--

Hey!

God bless you, sir.
Have a nice day.

Hey, lady, come back!

♪♪♪

♪ Hey, hey, ah ♪

♪ What I like about you ♪

♪ What--

♪ What I like about you ♪

♪ That's what I like ♪

[Coughing]

Here you go.

Billy!

Been to every bar in town.

Me too.

I'm really sorry.
I didn't mean to hurt you.

So what do you want from me?

Look, you're the
greatest guy I have ever met.

You're the first man
that I had sex with.

You know, after ten years
of being with women.

And the sex was great.

You were so tender,
and you were so sweet.

It was almost
like being with a girl.

Seriously.

Hey, what's the purse
in this shit-hole?

Where's the K.J .?

The K.J .?

We're talking here.

Whatever.

Hey.

You got money up on the karaoke,
or is this some kind of shadow hang?

Not today.
Strictly barbers and phantoms.

Ah, shit!

No!

You just don't have
enough faith in yourself.

Don't start the cheerleader act, okay?
I'm sick of it!

You're like some totally pure,
totally innocent person.

Most of us can't be like you.

Or I know I can't.

♪♪♪

[Man Singing, Indistinct]

To you and Ralph.

You're not even
listening to me.

I told you!
He's repulsive.

Then why?

I don't know.
I guess he--

I guess 'cause he
treats me like shit.

Ha!

♪ That's what l
like about you ♪

Sorry.

♪ Hey ♪

Listen, there's one
other thing I gotta--

Ralph's worried
about the vehicle.

His half-a-vehicle.

Ralph is worried
about his half-a-vehicle.

Said he'll call the cops if
you don't bring that cab in.

He means it too.

He said it like 40 times.
At least.

Well, he's gonna have to do
what he's gonna have to do.

Okay, Billy.

You do what you
gotta do, you know?

I'm really sorry
about everything, really.

♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪♪

[Applause, Whistling]

I hope you find that angel
you're looking for someday.

[Clears Throat]
So, you own a cab?

I own half a cab.

How does someone
own half a cab?

Well, that's about as far as your
basic underachiever gets in life.

Didn't you know that?

No. I'm an achiever, myself.

Good for you.

- So, are you free?
- Free for what?

I need a ride.

- Where you goin'?
- California.

[Laughs]

I don't have any money,
but I'd be willing to be nice to you.

Real nice.
All the way to the Sunshine State.

Florida is the Sunshine State.

Whatever.

I need to get to California,
and I'm willing to be nice.

What are you normally?

Okay, fine!

That's what I get for talking
to your basic underachiever.

Which way is the interstate, exactly?

About two miles west.

What are you gonna do?

Hitch.

Hey, um, which way's west, exactly?

Is that it?

A few miles up the road
is the Side Track.

It's a truck stop
It's where you get off.

Well, I appreciate the ride this far.

It might take you some time
to get another ride,

this being Utah and
you being colored and all.

Them shoes you're
wearing don't help any.

Uh, I'm not sure I quite
understand what you mean.

Them's prison shoes.

Standard issue when
they drum you out.

Worn a pair or two myself.

Yes, I'm sure you have.

- What were you in for?
- An error in judgment.

[Laughing]

Hey, babe, we was all in
for an error in judgment.

[Laughs]

Yeah, I suppose we were.

Some say the world
will end in fire.

Some say in ice.
What do you think?

Heh.

Hard to say, Cold War
bein' over and all.

Your money or your life.

Get the fuck out.

I apologize. I do.

It's just that the only
skill I have is singing.

Learn a trade.

I have.
This is it.

♪♪♪

♪ I'm on a Mexican radio ♪

♪ I'm on a Mexican
Whoa, radio ♪

[Humming]

[Tires Screeching]

♪♪♪

[Tires Screeching]

Hello!

Hop in.

♪♪♪

Come on, come on, come on.
Hop in.

- Where you going?
- I don't know.

What the fuck do you care?

Hop in.

Your eyes are weird.

You on something?

'Scuse me?

You look funky.
Are you a cop?

No.

Okay, then shit or
get off the pot.

Where you going?

Chicago. Where you going?

Nowhere.

I'm actually out buying
a pack of cigarettes.

[Laughing]

What's in Chicago?

My mother's in Chicago.

Oh. Okay.

Well, they probably
got cigarettes there.

Hop in.

Reach in that
cooler back there.

Pop us a couple of cervezas,
por favor.

I tried those Styrofoam jobbies
the last three times.

You think it's cost-efficient?

It is not.

[Clicks Tongue]

Ah. There you go.

Gracias.

You're not having one?

No, thank you.
It's against the law.

You should loosen up, my friend.

You think so?

Mmm. Hell yes.

You know, in fact, this
whole country should loosen up.

It's not even a country
anymore anyway.

It's just a big strip mall.

McDonalds, Pizza Huts, Wendy's.

Big strip mall
from coast to coast.

[Sniffs]
You're on cocaine?

I have a cold.

You're flyin' on something.

I'm flying on freedom.

[Squeals]

I scored some bennies off some
shadow in this K-bar last night.

I think it was Tucumcari.

Shadow?

Yeah. It's K-talk.
It's karaoke.

Uh, I may need you
to drive later on.

I don't know how.

You don't know how to drive?

No, I don't know how to drive.

How bizarre!

Is this a result of heredity?

Environment.

I've lived my life in tiny rooms.

So have l, man.

All owned by major chains.

Chains?

Ramada, Sheraton, Motel 6.
Chains.

Huh. I'm no stranger to chains myself.

Well, now, aren't
we lucky that we met?

[Laughing]

[Knock On Door]

- Hi.
- What are you doing here?

I decided to come.
I got the room next door.

Just like that?
How'd you find me?

Information.

I only had to call three hotels
before I found you.

Wow!

Do you always get
a king-size bed?

Huh?
Uh, yeah.

I love a king-size bed.

The only time I ever get to sleep
in one is if I'm with

one of the headliners from the show.

Look, um, Liv--

Tom Jones.
He was the best.

He let me stay in his room for the whole
month he was there last year.

He was really nice to me.

So, you, uh,
slept with Tom Jones.

It wasn't like that.
We didn't do that.

Oh, I see.

You spent a month
sleeping with Tom Jones

in his Vegas hotel room,
and you never had sex?

No.

Well, what exactly
did you do for Tom?

I kept him from being lonely,
like I'm gonna do for you.

We're family, Daddy.

I've waited my whole life
to spend time with you.

I'm not cut out for this.

Just like that?

Look, can we just
deal with this later?

I gotta go to work.

Singing?

Yeah. I'm a singer.
That's what I do for a living.

This is a karaoke bar.

Yeah, with a ton
of prize money.

Can I watch you work?

No.

Why?

Because you
wouldn't understand.

How would you know that?

I just know it.

You think I'm stupid?

No.

Look, I do a solo, that's all.

[Coughs]

Well, well. Sleeping Beauty stirs.

Where am l?

Missouri.

Six more states
and we're home free.

There's a layer of puke
on the side of the car

that looks and smells
like rancid guacamole.

I told you to take some aspirin last night,
but you were, like, totally trashed.

I've gotta get home.

You don't have a home, junior.
I bet you got a headache.

Sort of, yeah.

You alcoholics
are all the same.

I'm not an alcoholic.
I'm not.

Whatever you say.
I'm not the judge and jury.

I got my own problems.

Ooh, do I detect a note
of interest this morning?

I told you I'd be nice to you
if you took me to California.

I tried to be nice, but you were like
permanently at half-mast,

like a nation in mourning.

Listen, I can drop you somewhere
and, you know--

I can drop you at the bus
station or the interstate.

Wherever you wanna go,
I can drop you.

I wanna go to California.

No, um, I mean here, now.

I mean in the immediate vicinity.

We gotta paint the cab.

And what would lead you to
think I would paint my cab?

We gotta paint the cab because
the dildo who's drilling your ex-girlfriend

is gonna be coming after his half.

He can have it as
far as I'm concerned,

but not until we
get to California.

If you think I'm gonna drive you
to California, you're delusional.

Well, it's better than crawling back
on your hands and knees

to those two losers, isn't it?

[Sighs]

I like the Cotton Candy
Fuchsia, don't you, Billy?

Very daring.

I must say, you are
a connoisseur.

That is our top of
the line signature hue.

Now, is this part
of the $99 special?

Alas, quality
does not come cheap.

That is a creme de la
creme paint job

for a creme de la
creme price.

The Cotton Candy series
goes for 173.99, tax included.

Okay.
We'll take it, right, Billy?

Oh, definitely.

Excellent choice.
How'd you like to pay for that?

Cash, check, credit card?

Uh, well, we're a little
short on money right now, sir,

but I'll consider it an honor
and a privilege to suck your dick.

[Machinery Whirring]

♪♪♪

Pushing it kinda hard, ain't you?

Then you drive.

I told you.
I don't know how.

I'll teach ya.

No, man!

Come on. It's easy.

I'm sure. I just don't wanna do it.

A guy your age doesn't know
how to drive, it's ridiculous.

Ah--

[Tires Screeching]

♪ Islands in the stream
That is what we are ♪

♪ No one in between ♪

♪ How can we be wrong ♪

Oh, shit.

What?

It's duets night.

♪ And we rely on each other ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪♪

Can you carry a tune at all?

Oh, I do okay.

Yeah?
Back me up?

I don't know, it's--it's--

Oh, hello there.

Hi.

Uh, what's the money tonight?

It's $50.

Each?

Where do you think
you are, pal, Austin?

Huh.

No, the real big money's
up in Omaha this Saturday.

Oh?
How much?

Five grand.

If you win here,
you qualify.

Well, show me the menu.
Thank you.

Mmm.

Can you handle this?

Try A Little Tenderness, please.

Uh-huh.

Thank you very much.

Might think about
slowin' down on those, pal.

What are you, my mother?

Come on.

What's the, um--

This is the screen l
was telling you about.

The words just
come up there,

and as they change color,
you just sing along with it.

As they change color,
you just sing.

Don't worry about it.

Okay, uh, I'm gonna have
to take a rain check, pal.

Why?

Don't worry about it.
Just lip-synch or something.

I'll carry the whole thing.

No, no.

I'll carry the whole thing.

Really, really, I can't.

Oh, look, it's duets night.
Live in the moment.

I will drive you anywhere
in the goddamn country

if you will do this for me.

I swear to God.

Come on.

How you gonna beat that deal?

♪♪♪

Come on.

Just stand there.

That's all I need.

Please.

♪ Oh, she may be weary ♪

♪ And young girls
they do get wearied ♪

♪ Wearin' that
same old shaggy dress ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ But when she gets weary ♪

♪ She gets weary ♪

♪ Try a little tenderness ♪

♪ Tenderness ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Hey now ♪

Come over here.

Come here.
Come on.

♪ I know she's waiting ♪

♪ Just anticipating ♪

♪ The things ♪

♪ That she'll never ♪

♪ Never ♪

♪ Never, never possess ♪

♪ Never, never possess, no ♪

♪ While she's there waiting ♪

♪ Ooh, she's waiting ♪

Just tell me what to do,
Reginald, please.

♪ Try a little tenderness ♪
♪ That's all you gotta do ♪

[Audience Applauds]

♪ It's not ♪

♪ Just sentimental No, no, no ♪

♪ No, no, no, no ♪

♪ She has her grief and cares ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ But the soft words ♪

You seen these guys before?

♪ They are spoke so gentle ♪

All right.

♪ Oh, makes it easier ♪

♪ Easier ♪

♪ Easier to bear ♪

Ha!

♪ Oh, now you won't
regret it No, no ♪

♪ Young girls they don't forget it ♪

♪ Love is their only happiness ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

[Woman]
Yeah!

♪ But it's all so easy
All so easy ♪

♪ All you got to do is
try a little ♪

♪ Tenderness ♪

♪ Try a little tenderness ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ You got to squeeze her
Don't tease her ♪

[Audience Clapping In Rhythm]

♪ Never leave her ♪

♪ You got to, got to, got
to got to, got to, got to ♪

♪ Try a little tenderness ♪
♪ Hey, hey, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Hey, hey, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Hey, hey All
you got to do now ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Ohhhh You got to ♪

♪ You got to ♪

♪ Squeeze her
Don't tease her ♪

♪ Never leave her ♪

♪ Na, na-na, wa, na-na, ow ♪
♪ Try a little tenderness ♪

♪ Yeah, ohhhh ♪

♪ Ooh, now, oh ♪

♪ Don't lose her now ♪

♪ You got to squeeze
her Don't tease her ♪

♪ Never leave her ♪

♪♪♪

[Scatting]

♪ Try a little tenderness ♪♪

Ow! Whoo!
Whoo!

[Cheering, Applause]

That was great!

Oh. Yeah.

You boys were great.

Me and Scott here were
gonna give it a shot tonight,

but after hearing you,
we ain't even gonna try.

Hey, thank you.

Superb.

[Car Horn Blaring]

Wahhh--

That's excellent,
excellent, excellent.

Mmm.
Mmm!

Try passing somebody.

Are you crazy?

No, no, no.

Now, on the left, of course.

On the left,
left, left, left.

Always on the left.

Always pass on
the left, Reginald,

unless, of course, the right
is the only thing open.

Cardinal rule of
American business.

[Tires Screeching]

[Todd]
Oh, very good!

Very smoothly done!

Hey, hey, hey!

[Laughing]

You've done this before,
huh, hotshot?

This is good.

You don't want to pass this up.
Pass him.

No.

Todd--

Pass it!

Oh, f--

Pass it, loser!

Hey!

Hey, hey.

How can a guy who sings
like you be such a loser?

Pass it!

That's it!

Yeah!

Whoo!

Keep going.

Yes!

Oh! You're doin' beautiful!

[Horn Blaring]
Whoo!

[Both Laughing]

Whoo!

[Coughing]

Whoo!

[Reginald Laughing]

Yours?

Oh, Reginald.

[Chuckles]
You have little hidden corners.

Nevermind that.

Oh, what do you
do with this thing?

You don't wanna know.

Oh, uh, you're
wrong about that.

Show me.

No.

No more driving
lessons if you don't.

Fine.

No more driving lessons.

Do you want to depend on people
for rides for the rest of your life?

Come on.

Show me what you
do with the gun.

You don't want to know!

Get out!

Fine.

Hey--

No--

No, it's not fine.
It's pathetic.

You sing like an angel, and you
don't even know how to drive a car?

That is what is wrong with
the entire culture, Reggie.

It's why I--me personally--

why I destroyed the breeding ground
for an entire race of turtles,

all in the name of
a water slide, Reggie!

[Chuckles]
You're crazy.

I think you need some sleep.

Get some sleep for me.

Sure.

You're right.

Really?
Really?

Sure.

Let's go.

[Coughing]

♪ She'll expose you
when she snows you ♪

♪ Off your feet with
the crumbs she throws you ♪

♪ She's ferocious ♪

[Patrons Whistling]

♪ And she knows just what
it takes to make a pro blush ♪

♪ All the boys
think she's a spy ♪

♪ She's got
Bette Davis eyes ♪

♪ And she'll tease you
She'll unease you ♪

♪ All the better
just to please you ♪

♪ She's precocious ♪

♪ And she knows just what
it takes to make a pro blush ♪

♪ All the boys
think she's a spy ♪

♪ She's got
Bette Davis eyes ♪

♪♪♪

♪ And she'll tease you ♪

♪ She'll unease you ♪

♪ Just to please you ♪

♪ She's got
Bette Davis eyes ♪

♪ She'll expose you ♪

♪ When she snows you ♪

♪ And she knows you ♪

♪ She's got
Bette Davis eyes ♪

♪ She's got
Bette Davis eyes ♪♪

[Patrons Cheering,
Whistling, Applauding]

Yeah!

Amazing.

[Liv]
I was so scared.

[Man]
Oh, no, baby.

You were great.

You know, you could go real
far with the right coaching.

Oh, my God, what
are you going as?

What exactly
are you doing here?

I wanted to see you sing.

Is that right?

You gonna enter this
little contest of ours?

I don't know.

What do they call it, anyway?

Karate-okee?

Looks a little stupid.

Could I win a free drink
or something?

[Man Chuckles]

[Ricky]
And who are you?

Oh, well, this is Buddy.

Buddy is the champion
around here.

He wins the prize money
every time, don't you, Buddy?

Well, that's what they say.

[Chuckles]

Oh, and this here is Clark.
This is Buddy's manager.

Manager?
You must be some singer, Buddy.

That's right.
Buddy here's the best on the circuit.

Looks like my boy's gonna
bring home the bacon again.

Your boy?

Oh, I get it.

You two guys are lovebirds.
Is that the deal?

Who are you, mister?

I'm a guy who's willing to bet you
a thousand bucks on top of the purse

that I can blow
your ass offstage.

What do you say?

All right.

No, Buddy.

Something don't
smell right here.

Come on, Buddy.
It'll be fun.

Marlene, you got
yourself another entry.

Goddamn it, Buddy.

Let's just get the bartender
to hold this bet.

I'll hold it.

You really his manager?

Number five.
Crank it up.

[Background Singers On Tape]
♪ Shooby-doo bop bop, pow, ah ♪

♪ My heart is
cryin', cryin' ♪

♪ Lonely teardrops ♪

♪ My pillow's never dry of ♪

♪ Lonely teardrops ♪

[Patrons Cheering]

♪ Come home Come home ♪

Watch my back.

♪ Just say you will
Say you will ♪

♪ Say ♪

You're some kind of goddamn
hustler, ain't you, boy?

You know what we do
to hustlers around here?

Yeah. You lose.

[Screaming]

[Groaning]

[Tires Screeching]

[Man]
Can I help you?

Yeah, we'd like a couple rooms.

Okay, they're $79 apiece.

No problem.
I've got this.

This would be what?

This would be 800,000
frequent flier miles.

And so?

So you've got a room credit offer.

Um, no, we don't.

Oh, yes you do,
because I've read about it

in a thousand in-flight magazines.

Did you read
about it yesterday?

No, I didn't fly yesterday.
I drove with my friend here.

Well, that's too bad.

You might have read that
yesterday the offer ended.

[Sighs]

This offer never really
existed anywhere, right?

Listen, if you have cash--

Oh, yes, I've got cash.

I have got more credit cards
than a New York debutante.

I've got stocks, bonds,
and a dozen lines of credit.

But I have been
buying this mileage dream

with my poor addled
brain for years now,

and it turns out to be
totally meaningless, doesn't it?

[Gunshot]

Gimme that, man!

Gimme that--

This whole offer is just like every
other pipe dream in the U .S.A., right?

[Reggie]
Come on, man.
Put down the gun!

Just another cynical stock-job sucker punch
on us poor, dumb commercial believers.

It's a '90s version of
religious persecution, you know?

You people,
you are terrifying!

Okay, okay.

I can give you two rooms.

I'll even throw in an upgrade.

Really. You hear that?

Give it.

No, just a second.

[Gunshot]

[Laughing]

Be cool, man.

Absolutely.
Sure.

Whatever you say.

Bye now.

Bye.

Really?

Thank you.

Okay, we're in
the executive suite.

Let me guess.

You wanna sleep in
a bed tonight or not?

What?

I don't understand you.

[Snickers]
You don't have to understand me.

What I do is just a hustle.

No, it's not
about a damn hustle.

It's about humiliating yourself.

It's about denigrating
yourself because you can't deal

with the possibility of failure.

You're the loser here.
You're the underachiever.

What's it like going around
being everybody's conscience?

Doesn't it get lonely?

Don't you, trying to be
everybody's wet dream?

Listen, you loser.

You got nowhere to go
and nothing to go back to.

You're just another poor lost soul
leading a life of quiet desperation.

I'm gonna be the only major thing
that has ever happened

to you in your life, and you're gonna be
jerkin' off to my memory on your deathbed.

If I was you, I'd just sit back
and enjoy the ride.

How'd you get like this?

Hmm.

Ah--

Hey, this ain't Kmart, pal.

Find what you need and get out.

Did you hear me?

Uh-huh.

I've lived my life in sales.

Being hostile to a consumer
is very counterproductive.

That's it.
Get the fuck out.

[Gunshot]

Jesus Christ.

[Liquid Pouring On Floor]

Gimme the gun.

Come on, man.

Why?

Gimme the gun.

No.

Fucker.

Shut up!

[Chuckling]

Oh!

Gimme that!

Huh?

[Todd]
Oh!

[Giggling]

[Reggie]
Come on!

Go!

[Todd Laughing]

[Reggie]
Get down!

[Gunshots]

Reginald, are
you angry with me?

You're strung out, man.
You need some sleep.

No, no, no.

You are so wrong, my brother.

I have never been more
awake in my entire life.

You're just mad because
I'm on to your little secret.

And that would be what?

Oh, the power of
life and death.

Bam, bam, bam!

John Wayne I am!

[Chuckling]

It's a viable alternative
to a life in sales.

[Scoffs]
Hmm.

What?

Tsk.

I know that look.

That is the Candy Woods
look of disdain, isn't it?

I wouldn't know.

Never met her.

Hey--

Uh--

Here.

Candy Woods.

She specializes
in plastic runners.

[Laughing]

These your kids?

Mm-hmm. Julie and Carson.

Kind of pretty.

You think so?

I gotta use the bathroom.

Fine.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Stay in the car.

Fine.

You know what the hangover
is for killing?

[Sighs]
No.

I give up.

Doom.

[Phone Ringing]

Hello?

[Reggie]
Mrs. Todd Woods?

Yes.

How soon can you get to
Omaha, Nebraska, Mrs. Woods?

♪ I'll close my eyes ♪

♪ Then I won't see ♪

♪ The love you don't feel ♪
♪ When you're holding me ♪

♪ Morning will come ♪

♪ And I'll do what's right ♪
♪ Just give me 'til then ♪

♪ To give up this fight ♪

♪ And I will
give up this fight ♪

♪ 'Cause I can't
make you love me ♪

♪ If you don't ♪

♪ You can't make
your heart feel ♪

♪ Somethin' it won't ♪

♪ Here in the dark ♪

♪ In these final hours ♪

♪ I will lay down my heart ♪

♪ And I feel the power ♪

♪ But you won't ♪

♪ No, you won't ♪

♪ 'Cause I can't
make you love me ♪

♪ If you don't ♪♪

[Cheering]

I think it's clear.
We have a winner.

The $500 grand prize winner this evening,
ladies and gentlemen,

is Suzi Loomis.

As if--

As if I have to tell you,

Suzi, you now qualify to sing in
Omaha on Saturday night for $5,000.

Here you go, darlin'.
Congratulations.

Let's hear it.

Suzi Loomis,
ladies and gentlemen.

[Cheering, Applause]

You were really great.

Not too shabby, huh?

Way to go, baby.

Let's not forget
our agreement, huh?

I mean, a deal's a deal.

Come on!

No, no, no, no, no.

I think you should just
leave it alone, all right?

[Beeping]
That's Mr. and Mrs. Dean?

Mr. and Miss.

We're here for the contest.

That reservation
was for one room or two?

Two rooms.
Adjoining, if possible.

Oh, I'm sure
that can be arranged.

Great.

I'll register you in.

Don't worry.
I won't cramp your style.

What's this?

[Sighing]
It's the end of the road.

They got karaoke?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, this hotel has
a mileage upgrade offer.

Really?

Yeah.

You do it.

Okay.

Will you look at this place?
We could be anywhere.

Yeah, I guess we could.

- Hi.
- Hello.

Oh, I'm sorry.
We're not accepting this right now.

But we do accept
all major credit cards.

Hey.

Huh?

Get a room
like everybody else.

What do you think?

You're funny.

I am?
Why?

Because I make you nervous.

No, you don't.

You act like I do.

I wanted to be a ballerina,
did you know that?

[Sighs]
But Donna had her heart
set on us working side by side.

She never really said so,
but I could tell.

You always refer to
your mom by her first name?

Only since we started
working at the Dunes,

because she said that me
calling her mom made her feel old.

She used to talk
about you a lot, you know.

Did you ever miss her?

I don't know.
I suppose so.

Well, she could
not sing at all.

[Chuckles]

But I used to love
it when she would,

and she would always sing
the same song over and over

like a broken record.

And, uh, it went, like--

♪ You're gonna fly away ♪

♪ Glad you're goin' my way ♪

♪ I love it when we're cruisin' together ♪

Smokey Robinson.

You know it.

Sure.

It was one of our favorites.

♪ Music is played for love ♪

♪ Cruisin' is made for love ♪♪

Hey, why'd you
come to Donna's funeral?

Look, um, you know,
I don't wanna get into it.

I mean, I just feel like
we're circling the inevitable.

What does that mean?

Well, you have this childlike dream
that we're always gonna be together.

It's an unrealistic fantasy.

I mean, it's
just not who I am.

I'm sorry.

You know, you are so busy
pushing people away

and trying to be something that you're not,
that when something real finally comes

into your life, you can't deal with it.

Well, I am here.
I am alive.

I am your daughter.

Whether you want to take
responsibility for it or not, it's a fact.

I mean, what kind of person doesn't
acknowledge his own child?

I'm not asking
you for the moon.

I am asking you for a hand, to reach out,
and you can't even do that.

And you feel sorry for me?

I feel sorry for you.

[Water Running]

[Knocking]

[Faucet Squeaks, Water Stops]

[Knocking]

Todd?

Jesus.

What are you doing?

Talk to your wife, man, not to me.

No.

I wanna talk to you.

What the hell do you
think you're doing?

Trying to save your life.

I love you, man.

Are you gay, Todd?

Is that what's happening?

No, Mrs. Woods,
we're not gay.

[Chuckles]
Your husband has been kind to me.

He's been a friend.

But now he's headed down this path.

Oh, that's right. That's right.
A path.

For once in my life,
it's a real path.

It's not some cheap, plastic
corporate illusion of a path.

It's a real path to the real
meaning of the real truth.

You know, I have actually computed
in my head the odds of getting

the same rental car twice
in a lifetime of business travel,

and do you
know what they are?

Do you know how many actual
sense memories I have of being

in the same off-white Chevy Caprice
from the Alamo people

in the Dallas-Fort Worth area alone?

No.

It would blow your mind.

[Sniffling]

It's nothing either one of you
people can obviously ever comprehend.

I don't know what's going on, Todd,
but I'm frightened.

Don't be frightened, Mrs. Woods.

Nothing's happened that can come
back to haunt you, if he stops now.

Stops what?

Huh?
Who are you?

I'm a friend.

Oh.

Your husband has
made an error in judgment.

I would be pleased
to take all the blame.

For what?

Todd, what is going on?

I'm getting really confused
here, and I don't get it.

Because I ask you--

I say we take the country
back from the McDonalds

and the Pizza Huts
and the Wendy's.

I say we tear down all those strip
malls and we get back in touch

with the inner core.

Oh, my God, Todd!

Would you be cool?

- Wha--?
- Be cool.

[Sniffling]
I gotta go.

Why? You just got here.

Did I say something that offended you?

You're just plain insane.

I'm just a little tired
of the American Dream.

Hello, everybody.

Are you ready to
rock the house?

[People Cheering, Shouting,
Whistling, Applauding]

Okay, welcome
to Omaha, Nebraska.

You've all qualified to sing
here tonight from just about

every state in the Union,

and the winner gets
to take home $5,000.

[Cheering, Applause]

Are you excited?

I am--

I am excited.

It should be
an amazing night.

So let the games begin.

[Loud Cheering, Whistling]
Whoo!

♪♪♪

[Scatting]

♪ For the first
time in history ♪

♪ It's gonna
start rainin' men ♪

♪ Start rainin' men ♪

♪ It's rainin' men ♪♪

♪ At break of day
when that man drove away ♪

♪ I was waiting ♪

♪ I crossed the street
to her house ♪

♪ And she opened the door ♪

♪ She stood there laughing ♪

Hi. You a contestant?

Yeah, Ricky Dean.

My daughter
set me up earlier.

Yep. I got you down.

You go on in
about 20 minutes, okay?

Will you be
using your own CD?

Not tonight.

Can I see your menu?

Sure.

♪ My Delilah ♪♪

- Here you go.
- Thanks.

Oh, jeez. I'm sorry.
Sorry about that.

Oh!

It's okay.

♪♪♪

♪ Up to the moment when
we said our first hello ♪

♪ Little did we know ♪

♪ Love was just
a glance away ♪

♪ A warm
embracing dance away ♪

♪ And ever
since that night ♪

♪ We've been together ♪

Hey.

♪ Lovers at first sight ♪

- Hi.
- Hi.

♪ In love forever ♪

Uh, we bumped into each other in the lobby.

I know.

♪ It turned out so right ♪

♪ For strangers in the night ♪

♪ Doo-bee doo-bee doo ♪

♪ Doo doo doo dee doo ♪

♪ Da dee da dee da
da dee da da dee da ♪♪

An angel just passed.

What's that?

My mom used to say that when
nobody talked for a minute

that an angel just passed.

Oh.

Are you gonna sing?

Me? No.
No, no, no.

I don't know how to sing.

I mean--

Everybody knows how to sing,
it's just I'm not good at it.

Oh, come on.

I bet you're just being modest.

[Hostess]
Let's bring out our next singer.

All right.

Are you guys ready for the song
stylings of Miss Suzi Loomis?

[Cheering, Whooping, Whistling]

Suzi Loomis?

No?

Suzi Loomis.

[Hostess]
Going once.

Suzi Loomis going twice.

Nope?

Would you excuse me?

We'll give you a chance
to come up here.

Yeah.

In the meantime, let's
just move down the list.

Okay.

You kids ready?
Yeah?

Okay.

Let's bring out
Tonia and Hobie Kasper.

♪ Bom bom bom bom
bom bom bom bom bom ♪

♪ Bom bom bom bom bom
bom Ba ding-a-ding ding ♪

♪ Blue moon ♪

♪ Blue, blue,
blue Blue moon ♪♪

[Coughing]

[Sniffling]
They called your name.

Are you all right?

[Chuckles]
Can't you tell?

[Gasping]

You're sick?

[Sniffling]

Scared shitless.

Ugh.

You were right, you know?

I'm the loser.

[Sniffling]

I was just too
dumb to notice.

You happy?

Now, go away and let
me die in peace, please.

You know, I was
gonna be a priest.

[Laughing]

Really, I was.

Black robe and the collar,
the whole deal.

I was, uh--

I was about to
graduate the seminary.

Yeah--

I don't know what happened.
I don't.

Ever since I was a kid,
I believed that there was

some greater purpose for my life.

You know?

I thought it was my
calling to help people.

It's such a crock.
It's a crock.

No.

My third-grade teacher said
the world's a sewer

and we're all living in hell.

Wow. Tough class.

Listen, I'm always gonna
believe the world's beautiful

and people are
basically decent.

And if that's gonna
keep me from fitting in,

then I'd rather go through this whole
life like a complete and utter retard,

rather than have to accept
somebody else's miserable reality.

Do you know what I mean?

Do you wanna help me up?

Yeah.

[Grunting]

Where do you think they
think we're gonna put the TVs

if they weren't
bolted to the furniture?

You got me.

Yeah.

[Chuckling]

You look great.

Good. 'Cause I wanna win tonight.

- I want the five thou.
- Me too.

Ah, I don't think you're up to it.

What are you talkin' about?

No, it would be funny,
us not doing a duet.

Pretty night tonight.

I'm really sorry
about what happened.

He shouldn't
have shot at us.

That was stupid.

Uh-huh.

He made an error in judgment.

Uh.

[Chuckles]

So did you.

[Sighs]
Your wife seems
like a very decent person.

Yeah. She fooled me too.

Now, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, man.

Come on.
Enough.

I'm trying to keep you
from throwing your life away.

Why?

I'm through livin' in
a middle-class prison.

You don't know anything
about livin' in prison.

I'll--
I'll--

I'll be good.
I promise.

Let's just go downstairs.

[Snickers]
I never met anybody like you.

[Hostess]
All right, Omaha.

Are we having a good time?

[Crowd]
Yeah!

Yeah?

Okay.

Well, we found her this time,
so let's try this again, okay?

Let's give a nice,
warm round of applause

to Miss Suzi Loomis.

♪♪♪

♪ Hey, hey-ey ♪

♪ Yeah, yea-ah ♪

♪ Sweet dreams
are made of this ♪

♪ Who am I to disagree ♪

♪ I travel the world
and the seven seas ♪

♪ Everybody's
lookin' for somethin' ♪

♪ Some of them
want to use you ♪

♪ Some of them want
to get used by you ♪

♪ Some of them
want to abuse you ♪

♪ Some of them
want to be abused ♪

[Crowd Cheering]

♪ Sweet dreams
are made of this ♪

♪ Who am I to disagree ♪

♪ I travel the world
and the seven seas ♪

♪ Everybody's
lookin' for somethin' ♪

[Singers On CD]
♪ Sweet dreams are made of this ♪

♪ Sweet dreams
are made of this ♪

♪ Sweet dreams are ♪

♪ Sweet dreams ♪♪

[Loud Cheering, Whistling]

Do you think
I'm a good person?

Yeah, I do.

I wish I did.

I wish a lot of things.

Everybody does.

What do you wish for?

Um--

All the things I never did
when I had a chance to do 'em.

[Bell Dings]

Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
with your permission,

I'd like to
introduce my daughter, Liv.

♪♪♪

[Man]
Yeah!

♪ Baby, let's cruise ♪

♪ Away ♪

♪ From here ♪

♪ Don't be confused ♪

♪ The way ♪

♪ Is clear ♪

♪ And if you want it
you got it forever ♪

♪ This is not a one-night stand ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪ Yeah, so ♪

♪ Let the music
take your mind ♪

♪ Just release
and you will find ♪

♪ You're gonna fly away ♪

♪ Glad you're goin' my way ♪

♪ I love it when we're cruisin' together ♪

Have a seat.

♪ Music is played for love ♪

♪ Cruisin' is made for love ♪

You gonna be all right by yourself
for a while?

♪ I love it when we're cruisin' together ♪

Cerveza, por favor.

♪ Cruise with me, baby ♪

♪ Cruise ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Cruise ♪

♪ Oh, baby, let's cruise ♪

[Liv]
♪ Let's float ♪

♪ Let's glide ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh, let's open up ♪

♪ And go ♪

♪ Inside ♪

♪ And if you want it
you got it forever ♪

♪ I could just stay here
beside you and love you, baby ♪

♪ Let the music ♪

♪ Take your mind ♪

♪ Just release and ♪

♪ You will find ♪

♪ You're gonna fly away ♪

♪ Glad you're goin' my way ♪

♪ I love it when we're cruisin' together ♪

♪ Music is played for love ♪

♪ Cruisin' is made for love ♪

♪ I love it when ♪

♪ I love it ♪

♪ I love it I love it
I love it ♪♪

[Cheering, Applause]

♪♪♪

♪ Her name was Lola
She was a showgirl ♪

♪ With yellow
feathers in her hair ♪

♪ And her dress
cut down to there ♪

♪ She would merengue
and do the cha-cha ♪

♪ And while she tried to be
a star Tony always tended bar ♪

♪ Across the crowded floor
They worked from 8 'til 4 ♪

♪ They were young and
they had each other ♪

♪ Who could ask for more ♪

♪ At the Copa ♪

♪ Copa Copacabana ♪

♪ The hottest
spot north of Havana ♪

♪ At the Copa Copacabana ♪

♪ Music and dancing
were always the fashion ♪

♪ At the Copa ♪

♪ Don't fall in love ♪

♪ Copacabana ♪

♪ Copacabana ♪♪

[Cheering, Applause, Whistling]

All right,
ladies and gentlemen.

It is sure gonna be
tough to pick a winner tonight.

Okay, our next
contestant, Mr. Reggie Kane.

[Applause]

What tune can I spin
for you tonight, Mr. Kane?

I'm gonna make my
own music tonight, ma'am.

This song is for
a friend of mine.

He taught me to drive.

♪ If I leave here tomorrow ♪

♪ Would you still remember me ♪

♪ For I must be
travelin' on now ♪

♪ 'Cause there's too
many places I've got to see ♪

♪ For if I stay here ♪

♪ With you now ♪

♪ Things just
couldn't be the same ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm as free ♪

♪ As a bird now ♪

♪ And this bird
you cannot change ♪

♪ Oh-oh ♪

♪ And this bird
you cannot change ♪

♪ Lord knows ♪

♪ I can't change ♪

♪ Lord knows ♪

[Laughing]

♪ I can't change ♪♪

[Applause]

[Audience Gasps, Screams]

[Todd]
No!

Reggie!
Reggie!

[Groaning]

And they say our
society has lost its finesse.

[Laughing]

Oh, my God.

Man--

Go home.

♪♪♪

May I sit?

Be my guest.

Thought you
might like something.

Brought you something else.

[Snickers]

I can't go
back to who I was.

I'm different now.

I sing.

I'm sorry about your friend.

You must have
really cared about him.

[Sighs]

I know I haven't
said this in a long time,

but I love you very much.

♪ Oh, she may be weary ♪

♪ And young girls
they do get wearied ♪

♪ Wearing that
same old shaggy dress ♪

♪ But when she gets weary ♪

♪ Try a little tenderness ♪♪

- Hey.
- Hi.

How ya doin'?

I can't believe
what happened last night.

I know.

Somebody said he was an
escaped convict or something.

Mornin'.

All paid up.

I just don't believe that.

He seemed so sweet,
and he sang so beautifully.

Yeah.

I never heard Free Bird
sung like that.

- Is that yours?
- Yeah.

- Nice paint job.
- Thanks.

[Suzi]
There you are.

Hey, you all ready to go?

Let's get the show
on the road.

California, here I come.

Hey, something
wrong there, honey?

No, I'm just sad.

Yeah, I know.

Well, if it's of any interest, there's
a $2,000 purse in Sparks, Nevada.

Nevada?

Nevada's on the way to California.

Just a slight detour.
What do you say?

How could I refuse?

[Chuckling]

Listen, it was really
great meetin' you guys.

Hey, would you
like to share our cab?

Why not?

♪♪♪

You know, I already know
the answer to this,

but I'm gonna ask the question anyway.

Fire away.

I have 800,000
frequent flier miles

that I never
have been able to use.

You don't by any
chance accept them for travel?

Of course we do.

Oh.

Well.

And they say that our
society has lost its finesse.

♪ Each day
through my window ♪

♪ I watch him
as he passes by ♪

♪ And I say to myself ♪

♪ I'm so lucky he's so fly ♪

♪ To have a boy like him ♪

♪ Is truly a dream come true ♪

♪ Out of all the girlies
in the world ♪

♪ He belongs to you ♪

♪ But it was just
my imagination ♪

♪ Runnin' away with me ♪

♪ Tell you it was
just my imagination ♪

♪ Runnin' away with me ♪

♪ Soon we'll be married ♪

♪ And raise a family ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Have a cozy little
crib in the country ♪

♪ With two children
maybe three ♪

♪ I tell you I ♪

♪ Can visualize it all, baby ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ It couldn't be a dream ♪

♪ 'Cause too real it all seems ♪

♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ But it was
just my imagination ♪

♪ Ooh, once again, yeah ♪

♪ Runnin' away with me ♪

♪ Running away with me ♪

♪ Tell you it was
just my imagination ♪

♪ Running away ♪

♪ Runnin' away with me ♪

♪ Me, yeah, yeah Hoo ♪

♪ Every night on
my knees I pray ♪

♪ Dear Lord ♪

♪ Hear my plea, yeah ♪

♪ Don't ever let another
take his love from me ♪

♪ Or I will surely die ♪

♪ Her love is ♪

♪ Heavenly ♪

♪ When your arms enfold me ♪

♪ I hear a tender rhapsody ♪

♪ But in reality ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ He doesn't even know me ♪

♪ Just my imagination ♪

♪ Ooh, he's so fly l
look out my window ♪

♪ Runnin' away with me ♪

♪ It's runnin'
away with me, baby ♪♪

♪ Oh, now you
won't regret it No, no ♪

♪ Young girls
they don't forget it ♪

♪ Love is their
only happiness ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ But it's all so easy
All so easy ♪

♪ All you got to do ♪

♪ Is try a
little tenderness ♪

♪ Try a little tenderness ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ You got to squeeze her ♪

♪ Don't tease her ♪

♪ Never leave her ♪

♪ You got to, got to, got
to ♪ got to, got to, got to ♪

♪ Try a little tenderness ♪

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah Hey, hey ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ You got to squeeze her
Don't tease her ♪

♪ Never leave her ♪

♪♪♪

[Scatting]

♪ Try a little tenderness ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah Oh,
don't lose her now ♪

♪ You got to squeeze her
Don't tease her ♪

♪ Never leave her ♪

♪ You got to ♪

♪♪♪

[Scatting]

♪ Try a little tenderness ♪♪♪

[Man Laughing, Blows Raspberry]