Original subtitles

Come on, come on! Hurry it up!

I wanna get this stuff outta here before dawn.

And look. It's almost 5:00.

All right. Hold it.

Four million dollars' worth of prime coke shot to hell,

And we haven't even cut it yet!

Just think of it as a tax loss.

You can depreciate it over the next five years while you're in the slammer.

Anyway, it's kind ofhot in here, don't you think?

Let's move outside in the cool air.

Oh, I see him. Thank you.

Ah, hello, Devon.

Michael! What a delightful surprise.

- The office told me I'd find you here. - How very thoughtful of them.

Well, now that you're here, perhaps you'd like to order something.

Yeah. Let me have a double cheeseburger with some onions,

French fries and a Coke.

Oh, if you can't handle that, there's a takeout joint across the street.

- What's that? - Escargot.

An exotically flavored dish rendered comatose by the very thought of your order.

I'm not a fussy eater, I guess, huh? But snails!

Yes, I admit that it is an acquired taste, Michael.

But, then, so many things are.

Well, what is it you wanted to see me so urgently about?

Well, Devon, I'm really beat, you know?

I don't doubt it. Especially having just read...

the details of your latest assignment.

KITT and I made that as simple as possible.

Nobody got hurt, and those drug pushers are gonna be off the street for a long time.

Anyway, I think I need some time off.

A vacation? What an absolutely splendid idea!

Have you got any idea of a destination?

Well, I was thinking about doing some rock climbing.

Rock climbing. The Rockies...

No, I hear that the Himalayas present the greatest challenge.

- Shall I call my travel agent for you? - I wasn't thinking that big.

Oh, I see. Anyway, I won't be gone all that long.

Great.

My dear fellow, please don't push yourself on my account.

I mean, I'd hate you to burn out too quickly.

Yeah, I'll bet.

- Oshkosh. - Uh, Oklahoma.

Wrong. We're only using place names with a double vowel and a double consonant.

Oklahoma has two sets of double vowels, but no double consonant. If you had said...

KITT? Yes?

- Shut up. - It was your idea to play.

A somewhat frivolous pastime anyway when you

could be briefing me on our mission instead.

We're not on a mission. We're on vacation.

- What's a vacation? - Well, it's kind of like an interlude...

you know, to relax, clear your head.

I see. But to what purpose?

- Like I said, to relax. - What does "relax" mean?

Um, it's kinda like when I put you in neutral.

Oh. How very unproductive.

Well, not for people. Now me, I'm going rock climbing.

Why? What happens when you get to the top of whatever it is you're climbing?

Nothing.

Then why climb it?

Because it's there.

I see. Well, I suppose that makes about as much sense as word games.

- Good. I'm glad you can understand it. - Not really.

After all, word games don't attempt to defy the laws of gravity like rock climbing,

An activity which could easily get you killed or seriously injured.

I didn't know you cared.

Of course I care. After all, that's the way I was programmed, isn't it?

Good morning.

♪♪

The night crawlers are in the refrigerator.

They're right next to the, uh, Fudgesicles.

Your mealworms are on the counter. Don't worry, Clayton. You can pay me later.

- Who's Clayton? - Huh?

- And what's a night crawler? - Uh, a worm.

I- I don't mean Clayton.

Clayton is a... a very sweet old man who comes in here every morning...

to get his bait from me about this time.

- A night crawler is a worm. - I see.

I guess you're not a fisherman, are you?

No. I, uh... I always thought it was kind of boring.

Came to climb, but I've been known to get hooked on new things.

Oh.

Uh, is there something I can do for you?

Yeah. Uh, the sign in the window said "homemade hamburgers."

I sure could go for one with everything on it...

everything but the night crawlers.

No night crawlers. You got it.

Sis! You've got to come out front and see this car! It's...

Mine. You like it? Like it? Are you kiddin'?

If you hang in till I eat, I'll take you for a ride.

Really?

Uh, how would you like this cooked?

Medium. Uh, anything else with that?

Yeah. How about some french fries? Well done.

And anything else?

- Meaningful conversation? - Rare.

Your, uh, sister have a steady boyfriend?

In this town? She's beautiful.

Yeah, I noticed. Great body.

Yeah, I noticed that too. Ready to go?

Sure. Let's do it.

Oh, could you stop up here? I mean, if it's okay with you.

Sure. How about if I drop you off, though?

I'm anxious to get settled and check out White Rock Mountain.

Okay, but I just got to see Donny Spencer's face when I get out of this car.

He thinks he's so hot 'cause his brother's got that dumb van.

- Catch ya later. - You got it.

Hey! Come on!

Hey, hey, come on! That's enough! Knock it off! Come on!

He said your car was dumb. That's all right.

It's no big deal.

The only thing worse than leaning on my van is touching my little brother.

Trying to make sure nobody gets hurt.

- Is this yours? - Yeah. What about it?

I don't know. I mean... I mean, I love it.

I mean, it's so original. Yeah?

Well, yours is dumb. Dumb, huh?

Your family seems to have a somewhat limited vocabulary.

Hey, you talk about my family, you got to deal with the top dog! That's me!

Oh, I didn't know you were the pick of the litter. You're really looking for it.

- Howdy, Lonny. - Sheriff.

- Any problem here? - Nothing I can't handle, Sheriff.

And with pleasure.

Yeah, I suppose so, Lonny. You just passin' through town, mister?

Kind of. I came here to do a little rock climbing.

Oh, one of those macho types, huh? Well, if you enjoy rock climbing,

White Rock is as good as they come, or so they say.

Hey, don't let us hold yo u up.

You askin' me to get out of town?

I'm tellin' you that it takes two to make an argument.

- And if there's only one of you in town... - Suppose I decide to stay?

I'm a peace officer, son. With the emphasis on the word "peace."

Now, like I said before, it takes two to make an argument.

- But if one of you's in jail... - Any bets on who it'll be?

- Guess I better go rock climbing, huh? - That's what I call good thinking.

Whoop! Wait a minute. I'm gonna have to see your driver's license first.

What for? Well, I've got to finish up this citation.

You made an illegal U-Turn back there.

Boy, you sure did let the sheriff push you around!

What do you think I should've done? Shot it out with him like you see in the movies?

Well, no. But still...

How old are you, Davey? Ten.

Well, if you want to make 11, 12 and 13 like that,

You better learn there's times to fight and times not to fight.

Like when you can only win?

No, that's the way bullies like Big Lonny think.

I mean only when you don't have any other choice.

♪ Head out on the highway ♪

♪ Lookin'for adventure ♪

♪ And whatever comes my way ♪

♪ Yeah, darlin' gonna make it happen ♪

♪ Take the world in a love embrace ♪

♪ Fire all of the guns at once and ♪

♪ Explode into space ♪

♪ I like smoke and lightning ♪

♪ Heavy metal thunder ♪

♪ Racin'in the wind ♪

♪ And the feeling that I'm under ♪

♪ Yeah, darlin' gonna make it happen ♪

♪ Take the world in a love embrace ♪

♪ Fire all of the guns at once and ♪

♪ Explode into space ♪

♪ Like a true nature's child ♪

♪ We were born, born to be wild ♪

♪ We can climb so high ♪

♪ Never wanna die ♪♪

Hey, you guys goin' to some kind of costume party?

That's a nice van you got there, pally.

Uh, painted it myself.

Got one of those, uh, do-It-Yourself kits.

- That must've been fun, huh? - Yeah, kinda.

Nothin' to do around here. You must get awful bored.

I still got to do a little stripping along...

Say, fellas, what do you say we give old smart-Mouth here a fresh start?

So he can kind of keep what's left of his mind occupied like.

- Ya dig? - Right on.

Well, I guess I'm ready, KITT. See ya later.

Michael, I believe there is a considerable risk factor involved in this operation.

Vacation. Vacation. Not operation.

Yes, well, don't you think you should

preprogram me in the event you don't return?

Thanks for the vote of confidence.

Michael, what shall I do while you're gone?

You're on vacation too, KITT. Get some sun.

Get us some beers!

I bet the store is closed too.

Oh, I've got some news for you, man. It ain't gonna be for long.

Let's do it now!

Good morning.!

Hello. Now, you don't wanna close up with all these customers.

Look at this, huh? Aren't yo u...

Whoo, aren't you a pretty little girl!

Yes, indeed, huh?

Make yourself at home!

I knew this town wasn't as boring as it looks.

What's your name, sweet thing?

Davey Benson, and we're closed.

Shh. Well, let me explain something to you, little man.

You see, what we got right here is a special occasion.

And we're big customers. You dig?

And we're hungry. Real hungry.

Dog, go away!

I said go away, dog!

Very well, then. You leave me no choice.

And that's known as man's best friend.

You smell real good.

Knock it off, jerk!

Come on, man. We don't need that kind of trouble.

Yeah, well, I think I'll just... I'll eat something first, huh?

Okay. Yeah.

Hey! Hey, it's the man!

Hey, everybody. Hey, man, just stay cool.

We're just customers, that's all. Right?

I guess dessert's gonna have to wait, huh?

Welcome to town, fellas.

I see you found the best hamburgers around, huh?

Well, anyway, it's nice to see you again, Sheriff.

I guess we better be splittin' on down the road.

Hey, Priest, pay the little lady so we can get out of here, man.

Wait a minute! Why don't we put it on our American Express card?

Do you recognize me?

I think a 20 oughta cover it.

It's not just the money! Davey, Davey, the man's being quite fair.

- Let's throw in a six-Pack on the house. - Hey!

Hold it, Sheriff Bruckner.! I can't afford to...

You know something, Sheriff? That's real understanding of you.

And me and the boys appreciate that. My pleasure.

- Say thank you, boys. - Thank you.

I'll see you again.

We'll have to come back here more often.

Man! Well, why in the hell do you think

Sneaker picked this town in the first place?

We can only fight one war at a time, right?

Smart thinkin'!

Maybe next time we come back, he'll deputize us all.

How am I gonna carry this on a bike? Here, carry that for me, man.

Why didn't you arrest them? How could you just let them get away with that?

Arrest them for what? They didn't do anything, did they?

Well, not really, but they... You can count your lucky stars we got off that easy.

What! Will you listen to me?

You don't mess with those kind of people.

They're living out some kind of a fantasy, and they're just lookin' for trouble.

Now, they're gonna be gone soon, and everything is gonna be back to normal.

With no trouble.

All we have to do is keep our wits about us.

In other words, you just would let them get away with anything they please?

In other words, it takes two to make an argument.

A confrontation could cost more than a little petty pilfering or bad manners.

A lot more.! You could call in the state police.

And do what? Arrest them for not shaving?

You made it, huh?

What are you doing up here, anyway? Looking for you.

There's trouble in town, and I didn't know who to come to.

- What about the sheriff? - Him? You got to be kidding!

There's this big, mean bunch of bikers down in town.

I think they may do something to Sherry if someone doesn't do something about it.

All right. You go down. I'll pick yo u u p by the road to town.

- Where are you going? - To pick up my car.

- What's so important about your car? - You'd be surprised. You really would.

Go on, get outta here! I'll meet you down there.

Are you all right? Michael! Did Davey go and get you?

Yeah. It's okay. It's no big deal. I got to make the climb okay.

At least somebody had a nice day.

Davey told me about what happened... everything.

Are you all right, really?

I'm a lot better now.

Come here.

I think it might be a good idea if I stay here tonight.

- They're back. - How many?

Just one, but it's the real mean one.

Wait. You're not gonna need that.

Oh, that's a nice car.

Yours? Yeah.

Say, you wouldn't mind if I drove it around the block a little, would you?

Well, personally, I wouldn't think cars are your kind of scene.

Oh, don't worry about that. I can change.

- It's locked. - No. No, man.

Just sticks sometimes.

Oh, ah, you're a wise guy, huh?

Well, I don't know how you did that,

But nobody makes a fool out of me and gets away with it.

- Is that a fact? - Yeah.

You know, you and your buddies must've watched

too many bad movies on TVwhen you were kids.

Why is that?

'Cause your act's not only lousy, man, it's 10 years out of date.

You can't be for real. Oh, I'm for real.

I'm a Scorpion, Hilly.

Davey, run. Go get the sheriff, quick.

This is Stinger.

You're about to be the "stingee."

Before or after the commercial?

I think playtime's over, pal.

Michael. Get in the car. Get in the car.

Hey, there was a little accident here. I was just on my way to get some help.

What happened? Hey, man, what is going on?

Tough guy, huh?

- What kind of a car is this? - Go ahead and tell her, KITT.

Sorry. Allow me to introduce myself.

I am KITT, whom you may regard as the voice of the Knight 2000.

An experimental prototype vehicle, which among other...

Impervious to virtually all forms of violence.

Specifically, the chemical formula for the alloy is simply...

Hello, Sheriff.

Am I glad to see you.

Maybe that was the only way out of there, but

aren't you taking this a little too far?

You're under arrest, Mr. Knight, so just relax.

You've got to be kidding. Not at all.

I told you before it takes two to make an argument.

I got a lot of problems right now. That idiot Lonny...

had to smart-Mouth off to those bikers, and they trashed his van.

What I don't need is some hero coming in here...

trying to grandstand for some damsel in distress.

You're really serious, aren't you?

You're gonna lock me up and let those bikers do what they damn well please.

Up to a point, you're right.

What is the point where you start to do something about it?

That's my problem and my responsibility.

Wait a minute. I get one phone call.

What's the number?

223... Just a minute.

553-0433.

The circuits are busy. I'll let you call again later.

How much later? A whole lot later.

Yeah, that figures! By the way, where's my car?

Impounded.

Those darn bikers. Somebody oughta find out what they're doing around town.

You listen to me. I don't want you to go anywhere near those bikers.

They're a real mean bunch, okay?

Yeah, sis, but with Michael in jail, somebody's got to do something.

Hey, I don't care about somebody! All I care about is you!

And I don't wanna hear that you've been anywhere near them.

You get the message?

I mean it, you know.

I want everybody's ride in ace shape, okay, man?

You got it. What? What'd you say?

You listen up, man! I don't want any more trouble out of you!

- What about the chick? - Afterwards.

- What are you laughing at, you freak? - Hey, listen up, everybody.

Them Dogs are gonna be riding in here tomorrow.

Now, we can only fight one war at a time.

So I want everybody ready. You dig?

You dig?

Sheriff?

What? I've been thinkin'.

If you deputize me, at least I'll be available if you need some help.

Son, you just get yourself some rest,

And if I need you, I'll know exactly where to find you.

- I'm goin'out on night patrol. - Do me a favor, will you?

- What? - Check on Davey and Sherry.

KITT, where are you?

- Impounded, Michael, just like you. - Can you get out?

Of course. Do you want me to come get you out?

- No, no. I can handle that myself. - Are you quite sure?

Yeah, I'm sure. Any more questions?

Just one. Are we still on vacation?

Oh, did it move for you too?

Are we, as they say, getting out of town?

No. We're gonna find the Scorpions and see what they're up to.

♪♪

- KITT, wait here. - Are you sure?

I don't think you could pass as a motorcycle.

- It would be a problem. - Listen, if I don't make it back,

Go find Davey and Sherry and take 'em out of White Rock.

You're the driver. But on the whole, I think

it would be preferable if you did come back.

Thanks.

Knock, knock. Who's there?

- Salmon chanted. - Who?

- Salmon chanted. - Salmon chanted...

♪ Salmon chanted evening ♪

You got some fire, my man?

Come on, man. I ain't got all night.

All right. Thanks, brother.

The Road Dogs are gonna fall, man!

I, myself, personally are gonna take off half their heads!

What about you turkeys? Can you handle the other half, huh?

Yeah! They'll never know what hit 'em.

Biggest biker war on the West Coast. We're gonna put this place on the map.

Hey, you know that chick at the store? I still want a part of her, man.

Hey. Later, okay?

I promise. All right?

Hey, let's party.

Give me a beer.

KITT, looks like we got ourselves a real problem.

Would you care to share it with me?

Those bikers are planning a full-Scale gang war tomorrow.

If that's a problem, it would appear to be a self-Solving problem.

Like how? Like why do we care who wins?

Because they're planning on using the town as the battlefield. That's why.

Yes, I see. It could make a difference at that.

Well, I suppose we'll just have to do something about it, then.

- Got any ideas? - I thought I'd let you try first.

It always makes you feel so much better on those rare occasions when you out think me.

Oh, that's funny. That's-That's very funny.

Look what I found!

Her little, bitty baby kid brother! Well, isn't he cute, huh?

Michael, why don't you let me go in alone and explain to the sheriff what happened?

Because it's more believable if it comes from me.

But suppose he tries to put you right back in jail?

He won't. Not after what I tell him.

That's for good luck. Come on.

Never mind, Bernie. The problem just took care of itself.

I'll see if I can arrange some kind of a reward for you, Sherry,

For apprehending the prisoner.

Oh, come on, Sheriff. He is not a criminal. A few hours ago, I might've believed you.

Since then, he has stolen his vehicle from the impound lot and broken out of jail.

I didn't steal my car.

Oh, I suppose you want me to believe that it

drove itself over here and picked yo u up.

You don't know it yet, but you got a serious problem on your hands.

The only problem I've got is you. Anything else you might say, save it for the judge.

Now, listen to me. The Scorpions are planning a gang war at White Rock.

Some other guys, the Road Dogs, are on their way here right now.

If you don't believe me, check it out with the highway patrol.

A gang war? In White Rock?

It's true! And we've got to do something about it!

I'll tell you what we're gonna do. We're gonna put this lunatic...

back in a cell where he belongs.

Why would I break out of jail and come back here and lie to you?

I don't know you, mister, and White Rock doesn't know you either.

There's not gonna be a White Rock in 24 hours if you don't listen to me.

Look, he's telling you the truth!

- You got a fast choice to make, Sheriff. - What's that?

Either you go along with me and help me save the town...

Or?

Or I'm gonna try and save the town without you.

I knew that guy was gonna be trouble.

Hey, you guys, wake up.! Wake up.!

Hey, Monk, wake up. Wake up, Monk.

You sure you want to stay in the car?

Well, Sally Field stayed in the car in Smokey and the Bandit.

I think I'm safer with you, anyway.

You sure about that? No.

Morning, boys. Rise and shine.

The lady here wants to see what the animals are like...

When the zoo's still closed.

So you wanna see what the animals look like, huh?

Hey, if you want the kid, man, get out of the car and we'll talk.

Oh, no. Michael, they've got Davey!

Hey, come on, punk. I'm waitin'for you, man.!

God, Michael. What are we gonna do?

Come on, man.! I'm waitin:! Get out.! Get out.!

Just watch.

Okay, KITT, buddy, let's shake 'em up.

Go! Go!

How'd they get you, Davey? It was kinda dumb, I guess.

I was sneakin' around the camp just to see what they were gonna do, and I got caught.

Oh, Davey, are you all right? I'm fine.

Hey, this is some kind of car! It didn't look like this before.

We're playin' for keeps now, Davey.

Well, what are we gonna do?

We're gonna play a little chicken with the Scorpions.

We got him now, man. He's on our kind of ground, baby.

Hyperspace!

Hey, you're not gonna stop?

Not at the moment.

You did it! We did it! We got 'em on the run!

Not yet. I'd rather have them chasing me.

Aren't you going just a little fast?

Sally Field trusted Burt Reynolds.

Right.

I sure hope the sheriff came through.

Don't worry about it. All you got to do is... I know. Just hold on.

We did it! We finally showed those punks!

I think they did it to themselves, Davey, with maybe a little help from us.

Son, I owe you an apology.

I guess I'm not only a peace officer. I'm also a law enforcement officer.

The accent on "enforcement."

No harm done, Sheriff.

At least not to anybody who didn't have it coming.

I'd appreciate it if you'd help me tidy up a bit.

You got it. Happy to oblige.

Thanks a lot.

I think you might've made a wrong turn back there!

You can see what happened to the last gang that came through here.

♪♪

- Oh, Devon. - Oh, Michael!

Back so soon?

Well, sit down and regale me with the lurid details of your vacation.

Well, it wasn't much of a vacation after all.

Yes, I know. We received the state police report only this morning.

You don't seem to be able to low-Profile it anywhere, do you?

I'm just lucky, I guess.

There are those who might say that "disaster

prone''would be a better way of putting it.

Do have a little wine. Thanks.

Anyway, I think it should count as a Foundation mission,

Even though it was sort of coincidental.

Very well. I'll put yet another gold star upon your report card,

And I'll okay your expenses... within reason, of course.

Well, I'd rather have some time off, if you don't mind.

Another vacation? What a splendid idea!

Yes, you do need to revitalize the tissues, you know.

Go ahead. And as I said before, don't hurry back.

Thanks. I'll see ya.

That's funny. He didn't even argue with me this time.

Well? What did he say?

He said to take all the time I wanted.

What a nice man.

Mmm.

Am I safe in assuming that nobody wants to play Geography at the moment?

Yes. You're right. Just keep driving.

But for how long?

Till one of us runs out of gas. Mmm.