Original subtitles

RuPaul: Previously on RuPaul's Drag Race...

You're going to be making over Drag Race superfans.

-Surprise! -[cheering]

-Jackie Cox. -I liked it.

There are some looks

that I'm head over heels in love with.

Heidi Afrodite.

She should have tied in with some sequins or something.

The family resemblance is kind of missing.

Jaida Essence Hall.

You are stunning.

Con-drag-ulations. You are the winner of this week's challenge.

[applause]

Heidi, shantay you stay.

Jackie Cox.

Shantay you stay.

[cries]

[applause]

No one is going home tonight.

Ooh, Lord.

Lord in heaven.

Heidi and I were both just given

the double save by Mama Ru.

A genie only gets three wishes, and I've used up two.

So this third one, we gotta make it count.

So, bitch, how y'all feeling about this lip sync?

I mean, when I thought I was going home

and Ru saved me,

I felt my entire heart

plummet into the bottom of my feet.

I thought last week I was feeling things.

This week, I'm feeling more things.

This is like RuPaul's Therapy Race.

I don't know what's happening to me.

Jackie seems, like, positive,

almost like she had an "hepiphany" last night

like the smoke cleared out of her head.

Is it not "hepiphany?"subtitles

Epiphany?

I've been saying it wrong this whole time.

Epiphany.

Bitch, learn something new every day I guess.

All right.

That's three wins for Miss Jaida,

two back to back.

It's, like, now I've had a win

for a dancing, musical kind of challenge.

I've had a win for an improv challenge.

Now I've had a win for a looks challenge.

She's well-rounded.

Well, I'm feeling, like, bitch,

you're showing what you came to do,

and the judges are loving it.

Jaida is really starting to inch her way

towards a secured spot in that top four.

I have definitely gotten a wake-up call.

I don't know what's been going on with me,

but I'm gonna snap the fuck out of it.

Honestly, right now I'm, like, a little shook

that we're just right back to six now.

I mean, I know we're like--

obviously I'm so happy that you're still here

and I was very sad, to, you know,

have expected you to go.

But as soon as she said you were safe,

there was a moment in me where I was, like, really?

Only, because, I'm, like, okay, now we have to start over again.

-Oh, my God. -[laughs]

I see how it is.

I thought y'all were gonna be happy

that I was still here, but clearly not.

Look, when you send your friend off at the airport,

that doesn't mean you love them any less.

[all laugh]

The more girls who leave and go home,

the closer I get to winning my crown.

But if I have to whup on these girls again one more time,

then that's what I'm gonna have to do.

See you. Love you, though.

RuPaul: The winner of RuPaul's Drag Race

receives a one-year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics

and a cash prize of $100.000.

With extra-special guest judge Whoopi Goldberg.

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

♪ May the best woman ♪

♪ Best woman win ♪

-Top six! -Top six!

[weak applause]

[laughs] It's a new day in the werkroom,

and she's starting to feel like a cat with nine lives.

You guys aren't feeling the fire?

You can call me Heidi Ho, Heidi Dooty,

Heidi Hutton, Heidi Heidi Heidi,

Heidi Almighty, and now I'm Heidi Afrodite.

Hello, hello, hello.

-Hi. -Hello.

Ladies, for today's mini challenge,

we're gonna have ourselves

a good old-fashioned bitch fest,

and we're gonna do it with puppets.

[cheers and applause] Why?

Because everybody loves puppets.

God, I miss this challenge.

[all laugh]

Here's how it works.

First, you reach deep inside that hole

and pick out a puppet

that represents one of your competitors.

Second, you drag it up.

Third, you and your puppet have a bitch fest.

First up, Crystal Methyd.

Okay.

No one's been in that hole for a long time,

so please be gentle.

[all laugh]

Jaida.

Gag.

Up next, Jackie Cox.

I got Sherry Pie.

Sherry Pie.

It's Heidi.

I'm wearing those same pants. Oh, God!

Heidi Afrodite.

I got Crystal Methyd.

[cheering]

Jaida Essence Hall.

It's Gigi.

Gigi Goode, go on over.

Dig deep.

Oh, surprise, surprise. Jackie Cox.

Ladies, you've got 20 minutes to drag up your puppet,

and you can use materials from the F&S Fabric wall.

Go!

Bitch, I just wanna make sure

I get the fashions right.

You better.

All right, ladies, time is up.

First up, Crystal Methyd

and her puppet Jaida Essence Hall.

Let the bitch fest begin.

Hey, Jaida. I'm kind of confused.

What is it the essence of?

Girl, I'm confused, too.

I don't even know what's going on.

I'm just trying to be Jaida.

Me, I'm trying to be myself all the time.

[laughs]

You know, I've gotten in trouble on the runway

for wearing the same pair of boots a few times.

But how come you haven't been spotted for those earrings?

They're the same every time! [all laugh]

That's a low blow, and it's not a fact.

I've only worn the earrings twice.

Shady move.

Um...look over there.

[all laugh]

Bye.

[all laugh]

Well, Gigi, that's a lovely dress you're wearing.

I think you look amazing today.

My mother and I have a very close relationship.

I love her so much.

We conceptualized this garment.

[all laugh]

I love fashion. I love shoes. I'm amazing.

Well, you sound a lot like Maria the robot.

I am Maria the robot.

[laughs]

Hi, Heidi. How you doing?

Hi, Sherry. Very well--aah!

Aah! My hair fell off!

Does that puppet look soft and supple?

The level of this bitch.

Sherry, correct me if I'm wrong.

Is this the first time

you're not dressing up as an old lady?

Well, yes. I'm not old. I'm from New York.

Sherry, I'm from New York, too.

Really? I've never seen you before in my life.

Sherry! [all laugh]

It seems you're on the branding.

Yes, my name is Sherry Pie.

That's why I'm holding a pie.

Force-feeding America! Rraagghh!

[all laugh]

Sherry, what did I tell you about chewing the scenery?

Sure.

What was your name again?

[all laugh]

Say hello, Jackie.

I commend you on your attempt to make your makeup better.

Thank you, thank you.

I've tried really dialing it down

on the five o'clock shadow, as you can see.

I can see that.

You've really tried to cover that up, haven't you?

Yeah.

[laughs]

So where do you live right now, Jackie Cox?

Well, I'm a current resident of New York City.

And where are you from?

I'm from Canada.

You might know that from my political debate.

All I want to do

is sink further and further and further down.

I'm keeping my puppet up high.

Crystal Methyd. Whoo!

Let's talk about this garment you're wearing.

You know, I just like to go to the local thrift store

and just throw it on my body and hope for the best.

It surely has been working for you.

I think what the judges are looking for from you

is to start relying on what's in your head

and not what's on your mullet.

-[laughs] -You know what, Heidi?

I think it's time for you to go back in the closet.

Thank you.

This is now the Crystal show.

Mullets! Mullets! Mullets!

[all laugh]

Ladies, the winner of today's mini challenge is...

Jackie Cox.

Oh! This is my third mini challenge win.

Does this add up to a maxi challenge win?

Ladies, playtime is over,

but showtime is just about to begin.

For this week's maxi challenge,

your charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent

will be center stage

as you create and perform your own one-woman--

or should I say one-drag-queen show?

[all laugh]

#DragRace.

Now, you can play multiple characters

or just be yourself.

Anything goes.

Now, you'll be performing in front of a live audience.

And Jackie Cox, you won the mini challenge,

so you get to create the show order.

-Oh. -Oh.

Now, later today, you'll be coached

by this week's extra-special, EGOT-winning guest judge...

Whoopi Goldberg.

[screaming] Oh, my God!

The Color Purple is one of my favorite

of all time movies.

Whoopi is like some sort of transcendent deity

of, like, Earth.

I'm trying to be like a Whoopi.

Now, Whoopi's big break came

when she wrote and performed her one-woman show on Broadway.

So take notes, ladies.

Gentlemen, start your engines,

and may the best woman win.

So, listen, since I'm in charge,

the only thing I'm gonna say

is I would like to go first.

I just don't want to close the show.

I'll tell you that.

I think Sherry does not want to go last

because Sherry knows that the end

is usually a bad position.

Nobody wants the butt slice of bread.

I'll tell you that.

I wouldn't mind, going, like, second or third.

I'd like to go third.

I'm with Jaida. I wanna go kind of in the beginning.

I would like to go somewhere in the middle as well.

Girl, not everyone can be in the middle.

So what are you thinking, boss?

Well, okay. So I think I'll go first.

Then Crystal. And then I think Heidi next.

I would be okay going third.

And then does anyone feel comfortable closing the show?

'Cause someone's got to.

Jaida, I know you didn't, like, want to be last.

Girl.

I mean, I don't care at this point.

If it's gonna be funny, bitch, it's gonna be funny.

All right, Jaida signed up for it.

So I have Heidi followed by Gigi

followed by Sherry, and closing out the show,

Miss Essence Hall.

Yeah.

Poor Jaida.

[laughs]

I know she is not liking that spot,

especially going after Sherry.

That's a hard spot to fill.

Speak now, 'cause I don't want people to come back

and tell me things are shady later.

I'm okay with my spot.

Okay.

Ooh, Jaida.

You're in danger, girl.end act

Hi, Jackie Cox.

Hello.

It's time for us to meet with our coaches

for our one-woman shows,

and I get to meet Whoopi Goldberg.

Aah!

I am beyond thrilled to meet you.

Oh, thank you.

I'm a huge Star Trek nerd.

and I wanted to be Guinan when I grew up.

-Yeah. -I do a lot of Star Trek drag.

So performing for Whoopi Goldberg,

I am freaking out.

What are you getting ready to do?

The concept is Drag Race 101: A Brief Herstory.

-Let's get to it. -All right.

Look, this show's been on forever.

Has anyone been watching since the first season?

-No. -Yes.

Some of you yes, some of you no.

That's okay. Professor Jackie Cox is here.

You know, this show has been on for 12 seasons.

So much has changed, you know,

starting with this vaseline filter

that covered the lens that first season.

It was, like, you could barely make out

what was happening.

Jackie, this is gonna get somewhere soon, right?

Fuck, shit.

We'll get there, I promise.

All right.

Now, see, what you guys don't know

is when there isn't a live studio audience here,

this is actually a shark-filled moat.

Whenever any of us wears any amount of green,

we get those eyes from Michelle Visage

and all of a sudden that shark fin starts bobbing up.

[hums theme from Jaws]

♪ Dun-dun-dun ♪ Don't eat me, shark!

Shit, fuck, shit.

This isn't how I wanted this to go.

I don't know. There's a disconnect for me somewhere,

and it's in the humanity of it.

I feel like I don't know who you are.

Take yourself out of this stand-up idea.

I don't do stand-up because I'm not that funny.

But I can tell a mean story.

And I need to know who are you?

That's what I want.

What do you want me to know about you?

You've got five minutes to make us love you.

I think I try so hard to be, like,

who I think I have to be all the time.

Yeah, and you don't.

Yeah, and I'm thinking of everything you're saying.

I'm thinking of all the things

that my mom said to me growing up.

which were the opposite things

than what my dad said to me growing up.

And, like, how Jackie Cox

is, like, somewhere in the middle of those things.

Yes!

The truth is, when people are super vulnerable,

you fall in love with them.

That's the hard part,

is being willing to be honest.

I now need to synthesize 34 years of my life

into a three- to five-minute story,

and make it happen.

Thank you.

I'll take you to a cookout with my family

and how they all act and nonsense

and cutting up and misbehaving.

Are you going to behave like some of them?

I will be, yes.

I'll be trying to act like my grandmother,

my cousin Slick, Lil Boo-boo.

And I have-- who is the last person?

Oh, Uncle Rob.

He's the drunk of the family.

Can we see a little bit of him?

Hey, party in the house.

What's to eat--oh.

Oh!

Oh, God.

You know, no drunks move like that.

Right.

You know, when people are standing like that,

you just trying to stay up.

So you holding out

'cause you think the air's

gonna keep you from falling over.

[all laugh]

Concentrating on saying,

"I'm not...

drunk."

-[RuPaul laughs] -I'm not...drunk.

There you go.

If you don't want to do a character,

but you want to allude to it,

you just yell, "Shut up, Boo!"

[all laugh]

That's fantastic advice.

And take your time.

Let us fall in love with these characters.

Don't rush 'em.

And all the stuff

that you wanna put into everybody's mouth,

now's the time to do it.

[laughs]

I was gonna try

a character that is a male exotic dancer.

Oh.

-[laughs] -Okay.

Are you gonna do it in drag?

Yes. Something I've been struggling with this whole time

is that sometimes I don't go all the way in,

and I really wanna make sure that I make people laugh,

which that's what I really like to do, so...

So make it fun for you,

and don't worry about if it's funny to me.

'Cause what's funny to me

may be funny to the person over there,

-but not that one. -Yeah.

Can you show us one of the strip moves?

I'm trying to just, like, really try

and come up with the movements. I don't really--

How do you think El Debarge would move?

Um...

probably...

♪ To the beat of the rhythm of the night ♪

[laughs]

It's funny.

Like that.

See, you do have it.

Yeah.

And you talk about going. You went there.

You know how to do the swim?

Uh-huh.

Do you know how to do the jerk?

[both laugh]

Please do that.

Please do that.

I thought of making a psychic goldfish.

-Psychic goldfish. -Yes.

I'm going to be dressed all in black

except for here.

Oh, you're the goldfish.

-Yes. -Oh.

When I turn, I'm like...

-Do you have jokes? -Yes.

I imagine being, like, my name is Madam Bubbles.

I used to be a large, but thanks to Bait Watchers,

I've gotten that down to a medium.

-Uh-huh. -No?

It's high concept, and we the audience,

we just wanna laugh.

You could be this other character

who channels the psychic vibrations of the fish,

and that frees you up

from having to do the gills, you know what I mean?

It's like I'm not funny at all.

[laughs]

I'm giving you a full-on skit

with a character, telling you a story.

-Really? -Yes.

Well, who is this character?

She's a flight attendant on the plane to hell.

Wow.

Can we see a little bit of it?

Yes. Hi, and welcome aboard

Brimstone Airways Flight 666 non-stop to hell.

That's right. Based on your track record on earth,

you've bought yourself a one-way ticket

to your impending doom.

-Okay. -Not quite?

It seems a little memorized and rote.

-Can you put the paper down? -Sure.

Oh, God. Okay. Was not prepared for this.

Should have been, but I wasn't.

Hmm...

All right.

Now, for today's flight-- Oh, let me try that again.

I... [sighs]

I really get caught up in my head

when I have to think on my feet,

so I really wanted to write an entire script--

You don't have enough time.

-Okay. -So improv.

Don't think about it.

Say whatever comes out of your mouth.

[sighs]

I had a different impression

of what this challenge was going to be,

and I was so confident about what I came up with.

And I just feel very, um... thrown off.

I'm sorry.

I don't feel like I'm one to get in my head.

Don't think it. Just do it.

Ru and Whoopi keep just telling me

like, you know, just, like, think on your feet.

You can do this. It's just improv.

And, like, my mind just doesn't work that way.

You've already said to yourself you can't.

-I know. -And you can.

You're gonna be fine.

-Thank you. -Bye.

I just don't know what I'm going to do.

Okay. So the first time

that my father ever met my boyfriend

was my 20th birthday.

I was super excited.

He's coming over, and my father

is giving him a little eye from the side.

And I'm, like, oh, my God.

I don't know what's gonna go down, but--

Can I stop you?

You have a tendency to talk really fast.

Yeah.

Give us an opportunity to fall in love with you

and to see the character that you're doing.

Like I said, like, most--

Slow down.

Yeah. I'm sorry. I just, like,

I always talk really excited.

That's just, like, within my DNA,

so I'm just trying to work on, like,

making sure that I'm, like, pacing myself.

Think of it as a flower.

It starts to open,

and then there's another part,

and then another part and another part.

And it's all of that information

in this small period.

-That's what this is. -I see what you're saying.

-Yeah. -Cool.

Do you have any more questions for Whoopi?

You know, I don't even have questions.

It's, like, uhh.

I don't want to get emotional,

but when Ru told us that you would be here,

it was, like, miraculous

because preparing to come here,

I constantly would listen to The Color Purple soundtrack,

and this competition is almost exactly like

the journey of Celie in the movie.

You go through all these really, really hard times,

but on the other side of it, there's so much joy.

So it's like a sign to me

that you would be here today

-And I'm, like, oh, my God. -Come here. Come here.

Goddamn it, come here.

-Oh, my God. -All right.

For Whoopi to, like, make that kind of connection with me

is just, like, everything right now.

-Thank you so much for that. -Thank you.

And I just feel like that's just, like, a huge sign

that maybe something's good gonna happen,

or maybe that's a sign I'm going home.

I don't know. [both laugh]end act

Ooh, is it time to make the magic?

Today we're gonna be performing our one-woman shows

in front of Ru, Whoopi, and the judges.

I think the other girls don't see me as a full threat

because I'm just weird and kooky.

But I have worked my way from the bottom

to a consistent top in this competition,

and I just really want to win a challenge

before the top four is picked.

Heidi: Is everybody ready and excited?

I don't know.

I'm completely changing my concept from yesterday.

Oh, shit.

And we'll see if it works.

And it's probably the most personal thing I've done

so far in this competition.

I'm going to be doing impressions of my parents,

who are total characters in their own right.

I don't know if my mom

is going to love this impersonation of her.

She doesn't know I do drag.

My mom has said things to me in the past

that have really hurt me in profound ways

that I think I'm still not fully healed from.

A big part of that has to do

with her not really accepting that I'm gay.

I still care about what she thinks,

even though I know

that I'll never get 100% of the approval

that I've wanted my whole life from her.

So I've really changed the whole thing,

and it's gonna be...

something else.

But I'm excited.

The fact that, you know, like,

we're all doing such different concepts

is, like, okay, well, who's gonna be stronger than the other

and what makes us stronger than the other?

I feel like I have so much more work to do

than anybody else in this entire group.

I don't know what to do with the feedback that I got.

I am terrified.

I don't want to look like an idiot.

I don't want that ooh-ooh-ooh moment on stage.

It's not until you hear somebody's whose job

is literally to guide you through your own self

say, you know, this does not feel very you.

I think what I do is I convince myself

that self-doubt is not there,

and it obviously is.

Internally I compare myself to others all the time.

I'm always very hard on myself.

That's why I always feel like

outwardly I need to look as pristine as possible.

It's just something to deal with later

that never gets dealt with.

And I think now is the time to attack it head-on

'cause we only get one chance,

and I don't want to fuck it up.

I'm actually really excited going into this challenge.

Really,it's just me basically telling the story

about my family.

The hardest part of this challenge

i knowing that I'm going to be disowned by my family

at the end of this. [laughs]

Fun fact, though. The day I started my very first job--

She's about to go running to one of her little stories

about little Ramseur.

-Oh, bitch. -The Rose Nylund of the season.

-Who is Rose Nylund? -Oh.

Jaida Essence Hall.

What I did?

Is this bitch serious?

The Golden Girls?

Oh, okay, bitch. Well, look...

[laughs]

I'm thinking that's some bitch from New York City they know.

I don't know who that is.

My bad.

-Jaida. -Look over there.

[all laugh]

Oh, bitch.

[RuPaul laughs]

♪ Cover girl, put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe, let your whole body talk ♪

And what?

Welcome to the main stage of RuPaul's Drag Race.

Look at you, Ru.

What a difference a day makes.

Yes, a little lip gloss and mascara.

This week we challenged our girls

to create and star

in their very own one-drag-queen shows.

And on the runway,

category is The Color Purple.

Gentlemen, start your engines,

and may the best woman win.end act

[cheers and applause]

Michelle, is that Dahlia?

Yes.

She's stalking us.

The Big Pink Furry Box Theater

presents Jackie Cox,

Between Two Parents.

Hello. Hello.

[applause]

Now, it may be hard to believe

from what you see in front of you,

but both of my parents are scientists.

My father is a mild-mannered Canadian

with a very dry sense of humor.

My mother is from Iran,

and like many immigrant parents,

had a very clear list of things

that she wanted me to accomplish

to fulfill her dreams,

top of which is become a doctor.

And nowhere on this list

was drag queen.

Bouncing between these two households--

my parents clearly did not stay married--

was something that challenged me in many different ways.

Take my mother, for instance.

I'm maybe 12 years old watching the TV.

[Iranian accent] What is this?

I do not approve of these Spice Girls.

This is too sexy-mexy.

Go to your room and go study your book

on male anatomy.

Well, you don't have to tell me twice.

[all laugh]

[applause]

So I hear you are interested in performing

and music and dancing.

I believe in you. Okay, first things first.

We're gonna start with ballet and then jazz and then tap

and then all other dancing starting from flamenco to salsa.

Dad, this is a lot.

I don't know if that's what I want to do.

But a few years later,

I started to get a little bit of an idea.

Me and a few friends sneak out

and we drive down to Chicago Gay Pride,

and that's when I see them for the first time.

They look eight feet tall,

giant high heels, giant hair.

These aren't just women.

These are drag queens, and I'm mesmerized.

I decide to take home a little souvenir,

a beautiful white feather boa

with sparkly parts in it, too.

I get home, sneak that boa,

hide up in the topmost corner of my closet.

[Iranian accent] What is this?

[all laugh]

If my mom can get past the fact

that I'm a drag queen on national television,

hopefully she'll get over this impression of her.

And what have I figured out?

Having someone in your corner

who is always cheering you on and believes in you,

that's love.

And I learned that having someone

who always wants to make sure

that nothing bad will ever happen to you,

that's real love.

And I also learned

to hide that feather boa a little better.

[cheers and applause]

Thank you, guys.

[cheers and applause]

I'm a little worried having to follow this act

because she definitely put a lot of herself

and her heart in it,

and I'm not playing myself at all.

Next, Crystal Methyd

in Phenomenal Phil, Exotic Dance Instructor.

Thank you. Thank you.

How we doing tonight, ladies?

[cheers and laughter]

All right. Well, I'm Phenomenal Phil,

exotic dance instructor to the stars.

I worked with Channing Tatum.

I taught him how to do the Worm.

[screaming]

I've also taught Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

how to do The Sprinkler.

[screaming]

I even taught Betty White how to do The Jerk.

[all laugh]

Are you all ready to start Philling yourselves?

-Yes! -Yes!

I brought you moves

from my dance training DVD Phil Me Up.

[all laugh]

This first move is The Litterbox.

[all laugh]

Get yourself in the mind of a pussycat.

And then you get that soiled sand, like, out of here.

Get it out!

[all laugh]

And then we're gonna dump it, okay?

-Oh! -Get it out.

Phil it up.

We're not done yet.

We probably got some on our legs,

so do a little bit of this,

a little bit of that.

All right, Crystal. She's killing it out here.

[cheering]

We might have to change her name

to Phenomenal Phil after this performance.

This is my big money-maker.

It's the Brazilian Banana Inspector.

Start up, and just find the banana in the tree.

I think they grow on trees.

[all laugh]

Pull it down, and then you gotta make sure

you work the nips on the way down.

So here, give it a little bit...

Gimme a little bit of that,

and then we work it down to the hips.

[cheering]

[laughter and applause]

All right, everybody,

I think that's about all the time I have for today.

I'll be in the back selling my DVD,

but only for about 20 minutes,

because I'm performing at a bar mitzvah later.

[all laugh]

-Thank you! -Bye, Phil!

Up next, Heidi Afrodite.

Whoo!

In Cookout With Your Cheeks Out.

Ooh, y'all look so good. Y'all look so good.

I really just want to give y'all some of my hometown living.

The first member of my family I want you to meet

is my grandmother.

She's the one who raised me,

and she really...

hates everyone.

[all laugh]

Let me introduce you to Grandmother.

'Bout time all y'all got here in my house.

Now, y'all best stop opening up my door and stuff.

I don't pay to air-condition the outside.

Oh, Lord, have mercy, here comes Sharon

with that nasty-ass potato salad. Oh, Lord.

[all laugh]

Hello, hello, everyone.

Oh, how are you all doing?

I brought the potato salad.

Don't worry.

Imma put it right here in the middle.

Now, Sharon, I done told you about that potato salad.

You don't season it,

you don't put the right potatoes in it,

you don't even put mustard in it.

[gasps] How dare you talk about my potato salad!

And there's always Uncle Rob, the drunk.

Why y'all-- [hiccup]

Why y'all fighting?

Rob, I done told you,

take yo drunk ass and sit down somewhere.

Always in somebody business.

The party don't start till Cousin Slick walks in.

Yo, yo, yo, what's up, cuz?

What's up, y'all? Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.

Yo, what's here to eat? Aunt Sharon's salad.

Oh, you know, it's my potato salad here.

You know, it's so good.

No, no, no, Aunt Sharon, no, no, no.

No, last time I had your potato salad

I had to blow that bathroom up.

[all laugh]

Dumbass. [hiccup]

Just you wait and see, Sharon.

Imma laugh right in yo face.

Heidi is not giving what I expected from Heidi.

Yo, yo, yo, I gotta go. Bye, bye, bye, oh, oh.

Baby, the ship is-- it's not sinking,

but it's a few holes in it.

You have a good night, everybody.

[cheers and applause]end act

The Furry Box Theater presents Gigi Goode

in Welcome Aboard Brimstone Airways.

[cheers and applause]

Good morning, sinners.

Welcome aboard Brimstone Airways Flight 666

non-stop to hell.

Right, you all did something in your lives to piss up--

to piss off the big guy upstairs.

I'm gonna let you know

why a couple of you are here, all right?

Let's see. You.

You in the front row in this ripped-up denim jacket.

-What's your name? -Derrick.

Gary, nice to meet you, Gary.

Gary, your credit score sucks, Gary.

[all laugh]

-You, what's your name? -Morgan.

I'm gonna call you Karen from now on. Is that okay?

I'm gonna tell you why you're on your way to hell, Karen.

It's because you're a goddamn hypocrite, all right?

I see you mixing textiles.

Oh!

He's paying attention.

[all laugh]

Give me one second.

I'm gonna gather my extremely important tools.

All right, if you'll kindly familiarize yourself

with the lack of exits on this aircraft.

You'll look to my left and right,

that's right, no exits here.

Okay? For your in-flight snacks, we have just one option.

It's peanuts!

Unsalted peanuts.

Welcome to hell, bitch.

[all laugh]

Okay, let's see where I'm at now.

All right, so...

I love Gigi's concept,

but I'm seeing Gigi kind of trying to remember her outline,

and keep going back to it

when she's on a roll on different jokes.

Okay, all right.

So when we do land, something will magically open

and you'll get off

and immediately be engulfed in flames.

So as stated before,

that tiny piece of fabric with metal attached to it

is not gonna protect you from shit, Karen.

Or you, Gary.

I see you're wearing distressed denim.

It's 2020. Keep that in mind.

All right, I've just received word from the captain

that we are beginning our initial descent.

On behalf of Brimstone Airways,

I want to thank you for choosing us

as your means of transportation today,

and please enjoy your stay in Detroit.

[all laugh]

Thank you. Burn in hell.

Thank you. Go fuck yourself, Gary.

Bye-bye!

Next up, Bubbles and Sherry.

[cheers and applause]

Hello, everybody. My name is Sherry Pie.

That's pie, just like the food group,

and I'm Sherry with an "S," not "cherry" with a "C,"

because Sherry with an S goes "shh," not "chh."

[all laugh]

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and--

No, there are no children here.

Broccoli, ha. How are you?

I'm here to talk to you about magic.

Magic comes in many different forms.

Now, here--who--ooh, aah.

I just had a horrible stroke,

and none of you did anything about it.

[all laugh]

I'm so scatterbrained. I'm sorry.

I was drinking before the show.

Sherry's one-woman show is hilarious,

but, you know, it's supposed to be

Madam Sherry and the fish Bubbles.

Where is the fish?

Something that a lot of people don't know about mesubtitle

is that I'm psychic.

With Sherry and Bubbles, you will believe in magic!4 minutes

Oh, my God, you have a cross.

You really believe in magic.

[all laugh]

We still going?

All right, everybody put your hands togethersubtitle

for my co-hostess, the one, the only, Bubbles!

[cheers and applause]

I'm going to need to let you in on a little secret.subtitle

Don't listen, Bubbles.

[all laugh] Thank you for laughing.

This is what's called "absurd."

What is happening?

I thought we only had five minutes.subtitle

Hello. I'm Madam Bubbles.subtitle

I am psychic.

Miss Sherry, bitch, come on now, honey.

[slurring] Eh, thank you all so m--subs continue

[all laugh]new subtitle

Bitch, you do know that I'm next, right?

You're not closing the show.

[slurring] It's really been a pleasure entertaining you.minutes subtitle

[cheers and applause]new subtitle

She was doing a lot.

I don't think it was purposeful, but...

Up next, Jaida Essence Hall in The "P" In "Pageant."

[cheers and applause]

Hey, broke bitches, my name is Jaida Essence Hall.

And for those of you who do not know me,

I am a drag queen and a badass bitch, okay?

Yeah!

And for those of you who do know me,

I am sorry. [all laugh]

Imma take you all on a tour of one of the worst experiences

that has ever happened to me in my life.

Now, one time I was hired to judge and perform at a pageant.

The girls are beautiful,

they're walking around in these beautiful gowns,

and I get a little shake in my right leg.

Child, ooh.

So I look over for a familiar face. Hey, Ru!

Except Ru happened to be my boyfriend.

He comes on over.

I'm in a situation.

Imma need a little bit of help, okay?

The category is over, I push the chair back, I start to run.

Baby, I have to piss.

Tap him on the shoulder, run into the bathroom.

Ooh, y'all are not feeling it. That's all right.

[all chuckle]

That's all right.

We're going on a journey. Okay.

And I'm like, okay, baby, help me out here.

I'm pulling up my dress. He's all on the floor.

He's fumbling around.

And I'm like, baby, come on, come on, come on.

Come on, come on. And then I stop.

Uh-oh.

[laughs]

[urine splashing]

All I can do is look down at my man on the floor...

looking up at me covered in urine.

Oh!

I head back to the judges' table.

The head judge says, "Please, please, please

can we get some air freshener over here?"

Oh, no.

But then he looks over and says,

"These other judges to the left,

they had hot dogs with onions on them."

-Oh! -Oh!

[inhales]

Jaida...

was that the joke?

Look over there!

To me, this was one of the most terrifying things

that ever happened in my life.

And sadly, I've just played it out in front of y'all,

and y'all didn't even laugh at the shit.

But that's all right.

I hope y'all had a great time,

and that was the night that I put the "P" in "Pageant."

Thank you so much!

Terrible.

Terrible, terrible.

Bitch, I fucked up.end act

♪ Gonna love you, you're a superstar ♪

Category is The Color Purple.

First up, Jackie Cox.

Ross: Her skirt's so short, her lips are showing.

[all laugh]

-Oh! -Ooh!

Jackie: The first thing I think of

when I hear the word "purple" is that song,

the one-eyed, one-horned, flying purple people eater.

I'm having a lot of fun with it.

Whoopi: Why is there a stamp on her tongue?

It's Molly.

-Oh! -Oh!

Molly, you in danger, girl.

[all laugh]

You know I wasn't gonna say it.

[all laugh]

RuPaul: Crystal Methyd.

Michelle: How now, purple cow?

[all laugh]

Ross: She's making me horny.

Crystal: My inspiration for this look is Nick Cave,

an artist who makes soundsuits,

these beautiful outfits that, like, move around all cool.

This is just really bizarre and totally Crystal Methyd.

Michelle: She's on the rag.

Okay, Michelle.

[all laugh]

I had to fight that one.

[all laugh] I did.

RuPaul: Heidi Afrodite.

Ross: She's eggplant-emoting.

[all laugh]

RuPaul: Take a look at that potato salad.

[all laugh]

Heidi: I'm giving you purple lace the house down.

You see all these curves, these swerves,

and you can see all that soft and supple skin.

This is my real body, America.

I don't know why y'all gagging.

I give it to you every time.

Well, not every time. [laughs]

Ross: Watch out for Slick.

[all laugh]

RuPaul: Gigi Goode.

Huh?

Gigi: Jinkies, we've got a mystery on our hands.

My look is loosely inspired

by one of my favorite childhood cartoons.

I've got my necktie, my cute little green buttons.

I am skipping down that runway,

and, girl, I'm giving the judges

their childhood fantasy they've been looking for.

RuPaul: And I would have gotten away with it, too,

if it wasn't for you meddling kids!

[all laugh]

Sherry Pie.

The future of fashion is feral.

Sherry: Me-oww.

I am full-on Cheshire Cat fantasy.

It looks like a big, furry tail wrapped around me.

I just feel like an Alice in Wonderland fantasy.

Ross: Do The Kitty Litter dance!

[all laugh]

Dump it!

[all laugh]

RuPaul: Jaida Essence Hall.

She's on CP time: Color Purple time.

[all laugh]

Whoopi: Now, where's Oprah?

Jaida: I feel my fantasy,

because I have this beautiful hat.

It's blocking my light

because I don't want everybody to see all of this face.

The body and this garment are doing all the work.

I love having money, I love feeling like money,

and this look just drips money.

Michelle: She puts the "P" in "purple."

[all laugh]

Ross: Mi-chelle Vi-sage.

Come on, call back.

[all laugh]end act

Welcome, ladies.

It's time for the judges' critiques...

starting with Jackie Cox.

Tonight on the runway you are a one-eyed, one-horned,

flying purple Molly eater.

[laughs] Yeah.

It's very not Jackie, and I like that you took a risk.

It's a skosh craft store, but, you know,

when it's campy like this, I can forgive craft for camp.

Let's talk about your one-drag-queen show.

[Iranian accent] What is this?

What you were able to do today was blend comedy with heart.

This was your room to command,

and you didn't wanna look away.

And that's a good storyteller.

You know, I said to you

once you show that vulnerability,

it allows us to fall in love with you,

and...

we fell in love with you.

Thank you so much, RuPaul. Thank you.

Up next, Crystal Methyd.

Hi!

Let's talk about Phenomenal Phil, exotic dance instructor.

It was just all so stupid.

[all laugh]

Michelle hit the nail on the head.

New level of stupid. [all laugh]

Which is, by the way, how you win this show.

We were all with you.

We were all kind of learning these dance moves.

The cat box is my favorite. [all laugh]

Because I saw you have a good time with it.

And tonight on the runway,

what I really love is the switch-up of the makeup.

You took it into a whole different realm,

and I think that's phenomenal.

You have had a pivot in this competition,

where you've really gone all in on your weird.

I am weird, and so sometimes

I feel like maybe people won't like that.

Fuck 'em. Doesn't matter.

As long as you're having a good time,

we wanna go where you're going.

If you have any doubts in your head, any insecurities, dump it.

[all laugh]

You got it.

Up next, Heidi Afrodite.

Hi.

Michelle, don't you just love that name?

It's the best one out of the last 20.

Yeah. [all laugh]

I actually really loved your concept

for your one-drag-queen show.

Slick seemed hot. He single?

[all laugh]

Trust me, you don't want none of Slick.

-Trust me, honey. -No?

Girl, you don't know my taste.

-Oh, my God. -Here's the deal.

I love that you tried to do something really big.

It was just a lot.

You've gotta make sure those characters are so differentiated

that I know exactly when you're popping into Grandma,

and I know when you're popping into Aunt,

and I know--you know when I'm popping into Slick.

[all laugh] Hey, hey, hey.

Let's be honest. We all know Slick's doing the popping.

Okay, let's be honest. [all laugh]

Everybody does start sounding a little bit like the other one,

because in your mind, okay, you know what they look like,

but we don't know what they look like.

Right.

We're taking your word for it.

Tonight on the runway,

I do wanna compliment you again.

Your face is just looking better each day.

Thank you.

I let you wear my dress tonight.

[all laugh] And I must say,

you have to keep it, because it's gorgeous.

Thank you so much, Miss Goldberg.

Just Whoopi. You can't have a name like "Whoopi"

and be called "Miss" anything.

[all laugh]

-Up next, Gigi Goode. -Good morning, sinners.

I didn't know you were the Don Rickles of drag.

"Go fuck yourself, Gary"? [all laugh]

It was a completely original idea.

I thought you could have done a ton more with it.

You felt like you were nervous to me, Gigi.

I totally understand what you mean.

See? [all laugh]

-See? -I know.

If you trust your gut, 97% of the time

it will lead you in the right direction.

I love this look, but I'm not surprised by that.

You've got this gorgeous out here, right?

And a weird little mind in there.

Well, thank you.

So just like we've been able to see Crystal trust her gut

and go all-in and push that boundary line,

I want you to do that, too.

Got it.

Thanks, Karen.

Fuck you.

[all laugh]

Up next, Sherry Pie.

Tonight on the runway, you look absolutely stunning.

You can really paint.

I want to do those eyes.

I think I would scare the women at the table,

just because no one would ever understand

why I look so good and they look like them.

[all laugh]

Fishy Fortunes with Bubbles and Sherry.

The concept was fantastic, the delivery was fantastic

if it wasn't an hour long.

I think you clocked in at 17 minutes.

Did you know it was that long?

-No. -Yeah.

Oh, my God.

I'm so sorry.

[all laugh]

It makes you selfish,

and you're taking time away from the other girls.

So here's the deal.

The Ross Mathews who has dinner reservations

was like, "Come on, let's pick this up."

But it was so funny, because you sold it.

Just let go at about five minutes in.

All right, up next, Jaida Essence Hall.

Hello.

When we asked for your number one story,

we didn't mean your number one story.

[all laugh]

I guess it's better than your number two story.

-Yes! -I don't want that.

The best part was when you made fun of yourself

that it wasn't working.

Ooh, y'all are not feeling it.

You know, and I felt like really then

you got the audience back on your side.

-Yeah. -But you had already given up.

I was, like, already, when I started, I was like, oh, my God,

I got--was kind of a little bit of fatigue.

So I'm like, oh, girl,

we gotta try to go after this, and--

Because you waited 20 minutes.

-Yeah. -For real.

I'm sorry.

That's fine.

-Did you choose to go last? -No.

-So Jackie assigned you last? -Yes.

I thought you kind of gave up, too,

and I was trying to vibe you, going, don't give up.

You're almost there, don't give up.

So next time, you know, if it doesn't work,

Fuck it. Try something else.

Tonight on the runway I absolutely love this.

It looks like the Paris runway version

of what Whoopi wore on Star Trek.

Thank you, yes.

I did wear this outfit, but not nearly as well.

My legs were not nearly as long,

because my feet are size 11 and I'm 5'3".

That's my problem in life.

Thank you, Jaida. I just wanna say this.

You six are really some of the best we've ever had here.

Whoo.

I just think you're something else.

You know, I wish you would be the six forever and ever.

-Oh. -Oh.

I really do.

Mwah. Thank you.

All right, now, while you untuck backstage,

the judges and I will deliberate.

All right, now, just between us squirrel friends,

whaddaya think?

Let's start with Jackie Cox.

Tonight, her one-drag-queen show

was brilliant from beginning to end.

What I loved most about it is she didn't try to force jokes.

And her heart was center stage.

Now, the outfit, I could see

she's trying to do some type of Moschino storyline,

but it was a little cheap.

The hairline was down to her eyebrows.

Nobody saw that?

Do I even know what I'm looking at?

No.

No. See, this is why I didn't say shit.

Okay, well, we did, we got you.

Crystal Methyd.

If I were standing backstage and she was about to come out,

I would stop her and say, "Hey, dear, let's rethink this."

[all laugh] Right?

It was just one of the most unique things

I've ever seen on this stage.

We went wherever she wanted us to go,

and we had a good time.

On the runway, it's totally Crystal, and it was fantastic.

I just thought tonight was Crystal's night.

-Yeah. -Heidi Afrodite.

-In the challenge... -Dumbass.

She was barely keeping her head above water.

But on the runway,

she was swimming laps around some of the other girls.

Listen, I wanna give her credit for trying to do what she did,

because she swung big.

But for me, when she started,

right away I thought she's in danger.

I won't do the pun, Whoopi, I promise.

I think had she taken out maybe two of the characters,

we could have had something really compelling here.

-Mm-hmm. -Gigi Goode.

Tonight on the runway, we've come to expect this from Gigi,

and she delivered it tonight flawlessly.

What I loved about Gigi's show

is that it was a twisted concept.

The problem was is she didn't commit fully to it.

Yeah.

Let's move on down to Sherry Pie.

It was an epic yarn.

[all laugh]

She's one who has to perform often.

She was like, "Fuck this, I'm talking."

-Yes. -There are rules to follow.

But I just thought you were actually a little harsh.

Which part?

Well, when you called her selfish, when you--

It was self-indulgent.

If she was not being self-indulgent,

she would have realized there's a five-minute cutoff

and there's another girl waiting to go.

Okay, you two, you need to get a room.

[all laugh]

Jaida put the "P" in "pageant."

She put the "P" all over the stage, too.

Tonight, her one-drag-queen show was just kind of cringe-y.

I bet that story was so funny

when she called her best friend and told her on the phone.

You know, oh, girl, I pissed myself, and told the story.

-Yes. -I bet it was hilarious.

Well, because she probably took her time

and didn't start with the visual.

But my goodness, does she look great tonight.

That's what perfection looks like.

-Mm. -Silence.

I've made my decision.

Bring back my girls.end act

Welcome back, ladies.

I've made some decisions.

Jackie Cox.

-You're safe. -Thank you.

You may step to the back of the stage.

Gigi Goode.

You're safe.

Thank you.

Crystal Methyd.

Con-drag-ulations. You're the winner of this week's challenge.

Yes! [applause]

-Aah! -Dump it.

[all laugh]

And you've won a cash tip of $5.000.

Yes, Crystal!

-You may join the other girls. -Thank you.

Finally, I won a challenge!

Aah! Aah!

There could not be a better time.

I feel like I can do anything!

Sherry Pie, you're safe.

Thank you.

You may join the other girls.

That means Heidi and Jaida,

I'm sorry, my dears, but you are both up for elimination.

Two queens stand before me.

Ladies, this is your last chance to impress me

and save yourself from elimination.

The time has come... [thunder]

for you to lip sync...

[echoing] for your life!

America, I'm not fixing to go home,

so I'm gonna do whatever it takes on this stage

to make sure that I stay in this competition.

Good luck, and don't fuck it up.

[music plays]

Yes, Jaida!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

[all laugh]

♪ I was dreaming when I wrote this ♪

♪ So sue me if I go too fast ♪

[cheering]

♪ Yeah, they say two thousand zero zero ♪

♪ Party over, oops, out of time ♪

♪ So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999 ♪

♪ Yeah, lemme tell you something ♪

♪ If you didn't come to party ♪

♪ Don't bother knocking on my door ♪

♪ I got a lion in my pocket ♪

♪ And, baby, he's ready to roar... ♪

This is gonna be my fourth time in the bottom,

but I didn't come here just to lay down and die.

Imma slay all day like it's 1999, baby.

♪ But before I'll let that happen ♪

♪ I'll dance my life away ♪

♪ Oh-oh ♪

♪ They say two thousand zero zero ♪

♪ Party over, oops, out of time ♪

♪ We're running outta time ♪

♪ So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999... ♪

Jaida is strutting all over that stage.

-Oh! -She looks just like Prince.

It is amazing.

Heidi is doing her thing.

It is gonna be a tough call.

♪ 1999 ♪

♪ Don't you wanna go? ♪

♪ 1999 ♪

♪ Don't you wanna go? ♪

♪ 1999 ♪

[applause]

-Nice, girls! -Whoo!

I've gotta catch their breath, because I can't catch mine.

Whew.

Ladies, I've made my decision.

Jaida Essence Hall, shantay you stay.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

You may join the other girls.subtitle

My dear Heidi, no more hiding in closets.

Yeah! [applause]

Now sashay away.

Thank y'all so much for seeing something in me

even when I didn't see something in myself.

[crying]

You are a superstar.

I think you're probably the last one to know it.

Start looking at property outside of Ramseur.

You might wanna move to Los Angeles or to Manhattan.

But let me tell you something.

Kiddo, you're a star.

I'm so excited for the world to see you.

They're gonna love you.

Just remember, pay your taxes, okay?

Oh, no. Okay.

I definitely will. Thank you.

[applause]

A small-town queen with big-city aspirations.

Watch out, world, because Heidi's coming through.

And remember, if I can do it, so can you.

-Yes, Heidi! -Yes!

[applause]

Whew, child.

I've exceeded every expectation,

really showing that the small-town queen

can be fierce, too.

I just know all of Ramseur's gonna be excited.

Hopefully I'll get a key to the city. Fingers crossed.

Thank you [whistling] so much.

[whistling] Signing off from soft and supple.

Heidi...something.

[trills]

Con-drag-ulations, ladies.

And remember, if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?

Can I get an "amen" up in here?

-Amen! -Amen!

All right, now let the music play.

♪ I am American, American ♪vote

♪ The red, white, and blue ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Just like you, too ♪disclaimer

RuPaul: Next time on RuPaul's Drag Race...

You've got some big shoes to fill,

and I do mean big shoes.

I don't think anyone is 100% confident

that they're gonna make it to the finale.

If anyone slips up...

You're out and going home.

♪ I am American, American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ The red, white, and blue ♪

♪ I am American, American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Just like you, too ♪

♪ Am-Am-Am-Am-American, American, American ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ The red, white, and blue ♪

♪ I am American, American ♪

♪ Just like you, too ♪