Original subtitles

Whoa!

What's the reserve?

Mid to late fives.

Caveats?

Any, caveats on the property?

- Did you just say that? - What?

What you just said. When?

There you go.

I'm sorry.

I'm just... I'm having the most incredible déjà-vu.

When? When?

I knew you were gonna to say that.

Say something else. What?

No... that wasn't it.

Wasn't what?

No, it's gone.

You were saying?

At 40 now. Fifty if you like now.

At 5.5 in front against my starter.

Taking 10 still, sir.

At 550,000, six if you like, back to the starter.

I have you back in at 5.6, seven if you like now.

At 5.6 and 70 if you like.

At 70 now. At 80, can I say?

At 570,000. Eighty.

Back in with my starter at 580. Ninety can I say now?

All done, all finished... Ninety-five.

Taking ten, sir.

At 590,000 now.

Taking 600 thou.

First call, you're out there. Surely not.

It's good buying there. It's only money, relax, spend freely.

At 590,000, we'll take your five if you like then, sir.

At 595. Six hundred.

- Six hundred straight back in against you now. - Five.

At 605, calling 10 now. 610.

Fifteen if you want it now. Got 615. Five.

Twenty now can I say?

At 620, at 25 now if you like. Got 25.

Thirty now. At 625. Thirty here. You watch.

Thirty-five and... 640.

640. Good to have you in. Welcome to the bidding, sir.

- Fifty if you like. Got 50 here. - Sixty.

Sixty now. Seventy if you like now.

At 670 bid now.

680. Eighty here, back in at 80.

We'll take your 90 now.

At 680,000, all done, all finished and silent.

Going, going, going and sold.

Congratulations. Give a round of applause.

Well bought, sir.

On behalf of Phillip Lang Real Estate, congratulations to our purchaser.

Ladies and gentlemen, have a wonderful afternoon.

- Thank you. - Congratulations.

Thank you. What you thought it'd go for?

I thought it'd be just under six.

Philip Lang Real Estate. Mate, come inside, sign a contract.

Have you done any developments like this in the area before?

This will be the first this side of town. Right.

What have you done previously? What sort of... A couple of bits and pieces...

Sign at the back. Yeah, sure.

Frank. Phillip.

Good result today.

No, no, no, good result. Well done.

You're in a mood. No, I'm not.

Just a bird shat on me.

That's supposed to be good luck, isn't it? Not if I catch the little prick.

Why don't you go outside and whack the sold sticker up for us?

Nice jaunty angle.

See ya, mate.

Yeah, see ya later, mate.

Hey, darling, how are you going? Good. How'd you go?

Smashed it at 680. Well done.

You're a prick, mate.

Early 500's, you said. Mid-fives at most.

Well, the market is a bit more volatile than usual at the moment.

That's bullshit and you know it. You're a bullshit artist.

How can you say mid-fives at the inspection

and then on auction day, the property isn't even on the market until 650?

I didn't. You bloody did, mate.

This is the eighth time.

Jameson Street last September. Harrow Road, Langley Street before Christmas.

There's gotta be some tribunal or some ombudsman or something we can go to.

Yeah, well there's a... Sorry to interrupt.

- Phillip Lang, Phillip Lang Real Estate. - Yeah, Adam Tregonning.

G'day, Adam. And? This is Julie.

And who's this little scoundrel? this is Ben.

You got your mum's good looks, haven't you, mate?

With any luck you've got your old man's nouse.

Yeah, I was just saying to Frank here earlier, wasn't I, Frank?

Yeah.

Yes, I was just saying, there's a smart bidder.

Here's a man who understands the property market at the moment.

When you dropped out of the bidding, that was exactly right.

Exactly the property's worth. Yeah, right.

I don't know where these cowboys get there money.

What did it go for in the end? A bit north of 680, was it? 680.

680, was it? Yeah, 680. Yeah.

Silly money. I dips m'lid to you.

I was just saying to Frank inside, wasn't I, Frank?

Yeah. Yeah, very good bidding on your part.

We should go if we're gonna get to that other thing.

Yeah, the thing. No, the other one.

Wonderful to meet you. Wonderful.

Thanks for that.

There is actually something I wanna show you.

Where are you parked? Just over there.

Yeah, well, follow me. It's just around the corner.

Right.

His hand pass missed Campbell,

Saulsy was there but James Gowan steals.

Thomas gets the hand pass. It goes straight past Sainsbury.

Duigan on the mark up to McGuinness.

His kick finds a target...

I'll see you in the kitchen.

There's more.

There's a nativity scene.

Bloody sprinklers.

Deceased estate? No, no, not yet.

Any day now though, I'm told.

Thoughts? Depends. What do you wanna hear?

Well, I wanna hear your thoughts.

Well, I'd say it was a good listing.

North-facing backyard.

Deep block. Wide frontage.

Leafy, tree-lined street. Well, write me the board.

Why? You offering me the listing, Phillip?

No. I'm thinking of offering you the listing.

Don't look at me like that, Frank, you know why. Right.

You know what I'm thinking.

It was a good solid result this morning. It was a result, wasn't it?

No, it was a good solid result.

Do you mind turning this thing off? No, yeah, no.

It's on a timer. I don't know where the switch is.

It'll be on the other end of the hose, don't you reckon?

You'd think, yeah. Oi.

Anyway, good solid result, is all I'm saying.

Yeah. Well, Frank, Livvy is back at the office working tirelessly on the medallion.

I think it's at the engravers. Solid result.

Yeah, I believe "solid result" is the actual inscription, Frank.

Property would have sold itself, is another way of looking at it, Frank.

Double-fronted brick, a nanosecond from schools, cafés and public transport.

I've got a 12-year-old great-nephew, Frank.

His knuckles touch the ground slightly as he walks and he breathes only through the mouth.

I reckon he could have got a similar result with this listing.

And I had the Übermensch wielding the gavel for you.

He's good. Yeah, he is good, isn't he?

He's very good. Why don't you give the listing to Hamish?

If you don't have a problem with breathing through the mouth

and dragging knuckles. Hamish is not in a...

Pigeons don't shit on Hamish. Hamish is not in a mood is what I was gonna say.

But you're right, pigeons don't shit on Hamish. Hamish went to a private school.

All I'm asking, Frank, is that you to have a crack at writing the board.

You'd think I was asking for the sealing of the bloody Magna Carta.

Attention first home buyers and investors.

This beautiful two-bedroom home with open fireplaces

and potential off-street parking, subject to council approval,

boasts a wonderful opportunity to improve.

You could... knock down this much-loved family home,

whose last occupant is... is currently withering in a nursing home,

public nursing home, somewhere in a growth corridor,

while her scabrous offspring,

the pernicious little shits she farted into the world,

try to sell all her memories off this blue-chip locale right from under her.

You could renovate, or you could raze this meticulous and much-loved family home.

Geez, I'm sorry, Phil. I'm really sorry. No, no, you're right.

You're right. I ju...

Look, it's your fault. You started this.

Look, it's my Tourette's, all right? I've got Tourette's.

I wasn't talking about you.

Well, yeah, you were. No, I wasn't.

Really, I wasn't.

I'm sorry. I have to... I have to take this. Hang on.

Yep. I'm a shit mother.

Why are you a shit mother? I am.

No, you're not shit at it. Frank's busted his arm.

All right. But...

I haven't been there. I haven't been there all year. It's not like he's dead.

I mean, it's not like, okay, road trauma.

He's not diseased. You should go.

I just got here. I panicked.

I called the first number on speed dial. I'm on speed dial?

Frank, just shut up. Shut up.

Why are you acting so defensively? Please.

I'm not. Yeah, you are.

Otherwise why would you be saying "please"?

Because that's how it is now.

I'm either saying please or sorry

or explaining myself to somebody.

Checkout chicks, the newsagent,

the props guy, the people that did the guttering.

God! What's wrong with the guttering?

Just go. Okay.

I will.

You know, you've gotta stop thinking that you're the shit one.

And you've... you've gotta start, you know,

putting some distance between us.

You know, properly, like you're supposed to. Yeah.

I mean for starters, take... take my name off speed dial.

All right?

You know, it's like this... this divorce is not gonna work for me.

I mean, it's weird enough as it is.

How is he? Look, he's fine.

It's just a greenstick fracture. You okay, sweetie?

He's fine. We'll x-ray him again in a fortnight,

and there really shouldn't be any reason why we can't take the cast off after that.

Frank. Frank.

How's it going? Good.

How's school? Good.

Broke your arm, they're saying. Yeah, fracture.

- Rehearsal? - Yeah, rehearsals.

Was it dress rehearsals, or is this what all the kids are wearing these days?

- We better go. You okay, hon? - Yep.

Do I need to sign him out? They'll look after you at the front desk.

I'll just grab the paperwork and meet you up there. Right.

This isn't entirely appropriate, I know, but can I just say I love you in the show?

Um, thanks. Thanks.

Do you really like the show?

Yeah.

I'd say it's generally pretty accurate.

Really?

Well, no one actually says "stat" in Australia, but...

It's more of an American thing.

So what do they say?

Quick... or quickly. Right.

Or please.

Unit two, 56 Ostral Street, Linden Park.

Ideal for premier living or as an investment,

this easy to maintain one-bedroom, ground-floor apartment

provides a wonderful opportunity for cosmetic improvement.

Property also offers kitchen and laundry facilities.

Get away from it all in this quiet, secluded cul-de-sac situation.

- Yeah. - Hello, dear.

Who's this? sweetheart. It's your mother.

Mum.

Really? Yes, really.

My God, you must be tired.

No, no, no, well, yeah, I'm just...

Poor love.

It's just that you never called me "dear" before.

Of course I have. What are you talking about? Or sweetheart, for that matter.

That is rot. I call you sweetheart all the time.

No, you don't. Yes, I do.

No, you don't. Yes, I do.

Okay. Fine.

Um... how are you?

You know, the hip's playing up a bit in this weather.

Your hip? What's wrong with your hip?

Same old trouble. You know, it gets a bit stiff.

Right.

Are you smoking? No.

Yes, you are. I can tell.

How? How can you tell?

Well, I'm your mother. I can tell by the way you're breathing.

Mum. Mum, I breathe all the time.

Just because I'm breathing doesn't mean I'm smoking.

Now, dar... Please don't let's argue.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm just saying that non-smokers breathe.

I didn't call to have another argument.

Okay, I'm putting it out, all right? I'm putting it out.

Do you want me to worry about you some more? No, look, sorry, you're right.

And what happened? Did I wean you too early? What?

You need to be on the boob a bit longer? No!

I mean, what do you want, sweetheart, peripheral vascular disease,

heart disease, cancer of the liver,

lungs, prostate cancer, gangrene?

Take your pick. They list them all on the packaging. Um...

Are you all right?

Well, actually, no, because my hip's giving me misery.

Yeah, no, I mean, you sound different. Well, I would, wouldn't I?

You know, it's been weeks since you've... you've bothered to call

your poor, lonely, gray-haired old mother.

Months. Hang on. I mean, I've been really busy.

And, during which time your fingers got broken.

Now I'm only saying that you could call your mother on occasion.

Yeah, I know, I know, I could, I should, but, you know...

Have you read the papers lately? Have you come across the word "recession" in any of them?

Now, that's hardly an excuse.

I know it's not an excuse. I've just got a lot on my...

I've just got a lot on my plate at the moment.

And now, you... you told me that... that your job was recession proof.

I wish. Well.

I know, the world has gone silly.

You know, I'm on this six-month waiting list for this hip,

and they're calling it elective surgery

and that's just because I don't have a liver hanging out of me.

Right. And they've got the gall to call it rationalism.

Anyway, that's not your problem.

Um...

We didn't ever speak like this before, did we?

Well, how do you mean?

Well, I mean, I never thought that you had a world view. Maybe because I don't have one.

I mean, Wendy's always saying I don't. Right.

Anyway, look, I'm really sorry.

I'm really sorry that, you know, I didn't call you.

Um, it's... Sweetheart?

Yeah? Who's Wendy?

Wendy.

Wendy. My wife, Wendy.

Well, you're... You're not married.

Great, thanks. Yeah, okay, Mum.

Yeah, ex. Ex-wife. Thank you very much, Mum.

No, look, you were just saying yourself

that we have just been having the first decent conversation we've had for quite some time,

and then you go and you ruin it by being a smart aleck again.

Honestly, Damien, I just...

Pardon? You heard me.

Who is this? Who is...

Who do you think it is?

Um...

Emily Mollard. Come on.

Who in heaven's name is Emily Mollard?

Which number did you dial? Um...

My God! I haven't, have I?

Um, 70-106-389?

Yeah, it's... 89630.

My God. I am so, so sorry.

It's okay. No, no don't apologize. No, no, I am so...

No, no, no, it's really fine. Hey, listen...

I don't know what you're talking about.

I'm just saying

if you don't do something about this now,

it might be something you'll regret for the rest of your life.

Butler's Homewares and Electrical Warehouse,

where you'll find table lamps in a variety of colors and styles...

To return the call, press one now.

Hello? Hello. Um, it's Frank Mollard.

We were, um, speaking earlier. How did you get this number?

There's a... there's a redial thingy on the phone.

You press star-10-hash and the number pops up.

Anyway, I'm...

I'm sorry about before. And, um...

I-I don't mean to... To trouble you, but...

I'm just gonna say it. Um...

My mum died late last year.

And I know what you're thinking. I mean, how could I possibly think you were her if she's...

You know, if she's... dead.

I just... wanted you to know that I'm not weird or unbalanced.

I don't even read horoscopes.

You just sound so much like her.

Your voice.

And...

I just miss her.

Anyway, I'll let you go.

I just...

Just wanted to let you go.

But I wanted to explain. Um...

Frank? I should let you go.

Frank, is it?

What did you say her name was? Who?

Who you were talking to. Um...

Emily.

Not too many natives about. That's good, I suppose.

Christ, look at 'em now.

Jesus, they'll go crook at us now.

Ooh, ooh.

Number one, talk. Talk.

Point the bloody gun at 'im.

Frighten 'im, George.

Write IOU,

big government of Australia and we'll pay 'im.

Dad, it's all right. It's all right.

All right, good. You tell 'im.

Tell 'im we'll pay 'im. Dad, it's Phillip.

Yeah, it's Phillip, Dad. I'm here. I'm here.

Phillip. Sir, you have to write on a bit of paper.

Um, have you got a bit of paper?

Someone's getting a bit of paper.

Big government... Australia... belonged to me. Yes.

Christ.

Morning. Morning.

Any messages? On the spike.

These are all for Hamish.

Yep.

Is Phillip in?

Yep.

You don't know what a flash player is,

do you, by any chance? No.

Why can I not get on to my own Web site if I haven't got one? I don't know.

What's going on with Olivia's haircut?

Yeah, God knows.

She didn't have surgery, did she?

I wouldn't think so, not over the weekend.

Do you think there'd be potential property buyers who haven't got a flash player?

I don't know. Probably. What is a flash player?

It's not just a haircut, is it?

I paid her bloody emo friends good money for this.

You want a check, don't you? You know it won't clear till Friday.

No. No, no. I came to apologize.

- Really? - I'd just like us to go on pretending that I'm not...

It's asking me to push "okay." I'm not going to get a virus if I push okay?

I don't know. No, you wouldn't know. I'm going to push "okay."

Whoa!

Incidentally, I went and saw the old man,

after you and I were speaking on Saturday.

Christ, Phillip. I'm sorry. No, no, no. Shut up.

It's all good. No, I'm... I'm really, really sorry.

He's fine. He's fine. Honestly, he's fine. Right.

Something interesting happened today.

- You don't know what an error 101 is, do you? - It's semi-related.

Um... I thought I got a phone call from my mum on Saturday.

Your mother? Well, that would be.

Didn't your mum... Yeah, late last year.

Pass away. Yeah, I remember you saying. Cervical cancer.

Yeah, that'd do it.

And? No, it was just...

It was just a wrong number.

And? And I thought it was her.

Your mum?

The dead one? No.

It was just a wrong number. Yeah, you said.

I just wasn't sure and, you know, she sounded like...

she might be an interesting person.

Just excuse me, Frank. I'm sorry to do this to you. I will have to take this. Hello.

Yes, he's right here now.

Certainly. It's for you, Frank.

Who is it? It's Freud.

He says it's urgent. Tell him I'll call him back.

There's a tone of concern in his voice, Frank.

Right.

Okay, yes, Vienna. How many bedrooms?

Is he all right? I don't know.

He saw his old man on the weekend. No, otherwise.

How would I know?

How are you?

- How do you mean? - Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. You haven't said anything about my hair.

No, I haven't.

it'll look good when it's finished.

- Phillip said you might be in a mood. - No, I like it.

I have to take these. Sure.

- Phillip Lang Real Estate. How can I help you? - Frank?

I'm afraid he's in a meeting at the moment. Phillip.

Take a message? Lunch.

It's lunchtime.

Okay, no problem. Is that 4:00?

Please follow the guard.

Really?

You're complaining about I'm coughing and you're on a flight path?

Just hit the ball.

That's good. Never had a lesson. Can you believe that?

No. I'm happy to sign an affidavit saying I saw that.

Are there any downhill holes here?

Yeah, this one, but you gotta go the other way.

You're joking, aren't you, Frank.

You're very funny. Come on. Have a go.

- You're being facetious. - Nah, I'm being optimistic. I have faith in you, mate.

Freud and I were just discussing your mother again.

He thinks you should take the day off.

Not suggesting for a moment that's not what you're doing,

but could you do something sensible at some point?

- Why don't you go and see your dead mother? - Righto.

Now shut up. I'm out here to relax.

How very relaxing. I feel much better now.

You know, every time you walk in the room lately, I can hear your theme music.

It's not a bad life, Frank, being an agent.

We stand in the middle of an economic equation

adding to the price of something without producing it.

We show people houses they like and we explain to them why they like it.

If they don't like it, we've got another one we're desperate to show them

that we think might suit them better.

We're probably a by-product of the bloody divorce industry.

Somebody's life's not going terribly well, it's good news for us.

Not the most difficult work in the world.

28 MacLan Avenue, St. Marys.

Attractive Tudor style home on a good size allotment.

Solid brick, wide double-frontage verandah.

Quiet tree-lined street,

set in an attractive garden setting.

- I'm Frank. - You must be. Come in, please.

Greet... I'm sorry about the mess.

No, it's fine. I understand.

Greet, gree... gr... g...

Now sound it out, dear. Gr-ie-f.

Yes, that's good. "Said the goose. Well, well, said the pig."

That's very good, Omar. You've done very well today.

Now, off you pop.

Take your books and I will give you...

Now this is your reader for next week.

Here you go, miss. Thank you.

This is all about how English was invented.

Yes, it's about where English was invented.

Off you go. Thank you, miss.

Same time next Monday.

Well, I-I've had the kettle on. I'll make us some tea, shall I?

Sure.

Well proportioned light-filled entranceway

leads to spacious hallway with original features.

Generously proportioned living room with north-facing leadlight windows,

art-deco ceiling fixtures, gas heating and...

Hello.

I think it's about 15-by-12 in the old money.

Sorry. Force of habit.

You must be an incredibly gifted kleptomaniac,

or your fines from the library are worth more than this house.

These are all mine.

I used to work in the state library, 30 years.

Now I can't bare to see a book out of place.

It's so silly really, you know, because I go into other people's houses

and I, you know, I might see a book that's lying on an occasional table.

I get quite short-tempered.

I straighten pictures, plan reno's.

I was thinking of doing something like this to my place.

What's he do? Who?

Damien. He's in... He's in HR, IT or...

To tell you the truth, I don't honestly know, but I-I know it's an acronym.

Something to do with computers, and I believe he does quite well out of it.

- Now, do you take milk? - Yes, thank you.

And sugar?

Yeah, just one.

Force of habit... again.

How long have you been... Eight months.

It's not really panning out. I mean...

We get on better,

you know, um, than when we were married.

- I'm sorry to hear that. - No, it's all right. I mean, we're working through it.

I'm sorry, because I know this is none of my business,

but if you're still getting on, why...

Well, I mean, it's not anything...

It's not anything specific really.

It's just, um...

She suddenly got famous and, it was, you know, it was quite shocking.

She's an actor, so we didn't really think it was going anywhere.

Everything was fine when she was doing co-op.

You know, those magical-realist plays

From South America with a talking cat.

Now she's got 220,000 followers on Twitter.

Wow. Would I know of her, do you think?

I dunno. Do you watch Major Surgery?

It's not... It's not Wendy McKinnon?

Yeah.

Well, they say she's wonderful.

Yeah. I recently heard her work described as fairly accurate.

And what do you do, Frank, if you don't mind my asking?

I'm retired.

- Really? - I invented Tetris.

Right. I also model. Menswear mainly.

And, right now, I am... doing volunteer work

for an impoverished Realtor in Unley.

There we are.

Force of habit again.

I don't like to say that I work in real estate.

Not 'cause it's evil, there's no argument there.

But it's just every time I say it,

someone always says "0h, so what's this place worth, you reckon?"

Right.

- So what... - Mid-fives to early sixes.

- 600 thousand for this place? - Yes. 650 on a good day.

But I-I thought after the recession that... Yeah, well, you know.

Everybody's scared of the stock market

and cash is getting silly, so bricks and mortar.

It's the best place to park your money.

- I thought everybody had lost their money. - The normals.

But who did they lose it to?

The investors. They can still call the Queen their auntie.

But all the papers say...

You don't believe what you read in the papers, do you?

Money never goes away. It just changes hands.

Thanks for the tea. No, no. Thank you for coming all this way.

It's not a problem. We're calling this an inner suburb these days.

Well, good-bye.

Right.

Thanks for the tea.

Um, while I think about it,

somebody's turned your mat upside down.

No, it's meant to be like that. No, no, it's meant to...

Come here and I'll show you. Come on.

Now stand there and look. Look down.

Now look up.

What do you see?

I don't know.

Um...

A street?

Welcome.

Thanks for the tea.

Established garden setting with bright sunny outlook

onto one of the area's most distinctive avenues.

This well-presented property boasts easy access to local amenities,

including attractive parks and gardens.

Don't let this opportunity pass you by.

Did you leave something? No.

I just wanted to ask if we could, um...

You know, if we could do this again?

I don't really feel like I got the chance to apologize for the other night and...

You seem perfectly...

No, can we please just not talk about that. I just want to... I mean...

Frank. No, no, look, it's coming.

Frank. No, I've got it.

Would you like to come round to lunch on Sunday?

I will do a roast.

Terrific. Um...

Should I bring something? No. Just bring yourself.

Good. Right.

1:00. Right. Righto.

1:00. Sunday.

All right. 1300 hours.

Roger that. Lunch.

Sorry, caller two, that's not right.

Caller three, look, what do you think the secret sound is?

it's the sound of someone hissing?

I mean it. I really thought that you found a moment there. Good.

Really strong. Thanks, Gary.

Wonderful energy.

Maybe you could try an accent or something in the next scene.

All right. Meryl Streep. You look like Meryl Streep.

I do not. Yes.

Excuse me. Can I talk to you for a minute, please?

You work here?

Is there a problem?

I wanna see the safety adviser right now.

There must be someone from 0.H. & S. here. Go get em. Go.

Right now. Go get 'em. Stat!

Bring me a safety helmet and some safety vests as well.

Meryl Streep.

I had a farm in Africa.

Put this on. Could you get me a bigger size?

Sorry. Sorry, Gary, what were you were saying?

Well, what I'm saying is that I really think you should consider moving to London.

It's great. It's expensive, but it's a nice place. I've got a little spot...

Thanks, darling. That's good.

- There's plenty of work on the West End. - That's great.

It'd be great and they'd love you.

There should be cones around the cones.

Excuse me, Gary, just one second.

You know, it wasn't... it wasn't Meryl Streep. It was Halle Berry.

What I'm trying to say is the cones are there for your own safety.

Here's my little ingenue.

Right. Every day from now on.

One of these. Hard hat.

You have to stop pulling this stuff on the crew, Frank.

Why? They assume that anybody that walks in here in a suit's from the network

and this is from Fletcher Jones.

Give that to Gary, will you?

Anyway, you used to dig it when I used to do it.

Yeah, well, this isn't the old days.

Maybe not for you.

They're just trying to do their jobs. Thanks, Wendy.

Yes, bringing joy and hope to millions.

Well, at least they make something that didn't exist once.

You sell what's already there. You're in no position to judge.

All right. Fair play. Sorry.

See, that's the trouble with you, Frank.

You'd much rather apologize afterwards than be reasonable beforehand.

I mean, what's with you? What do you mean? I'm fine.

Exactly. Why are you in such a good mood?

FYI, I've done some research.

People don't actually say "stat" in Australia.

What's, Gary doing here? he doesn't have to go till Thursday now.

What's he doing in London? Nothing. Just panto to clear a tax debt.

No, he isn't!

Hi, Wendy.

You're not seeing anyone, are you?

No.

It'd be fine if you are.

Right. And how isn't it fine?

Don't get prickly.

I'm just saying you're acting like you got a leg over.

It would be fantastic if you had, to be honest.

Not just for me, for society as a whole.

Shit. You gotta be there in 10.

Righto. Frank?

Be nice. Please. Righto.

To who?

They started already. Sorry, mate.

Mum didn't tell me till an hour ago.

You're lucky I had nothing on. Like what?

Cue the storm.

- Line? - "Who's there, besides..."

Who's there, besides...

Foul... Foul weather.

One minded like the weather, most unquietly.

Sorry. Line? "I know you. Where's the king?"

I know you. Where's the king?

Contending with the fretful elements.

Bids the earth blow into... Wind.

Bids the wind blow the earth into the sea,

or swell the curled waters above the main.

That things might cease. Tears his white hair,

which the impetuous blasts, with eyeless rage,

catch their fury and make nothing of.

Strives in his little world of man

to outscorn the to-and-fro conflicting wind and rain.

Wherein the cub-drawn bear would couch, the lion and the belly-pinched wolf

keep their fur dry, unbonneted he runs

and bids what will take all.

Line? "But who is with him."

But who is with him? Sorry.

None but the fool, who labors to out-jest his heart-struck injuries.

- How's your arm? - Good.

How's school? Good.

I spy, with my little eye...

something starting with W.

Windscreen.

Yeah, all right. Fair enough.

Um, your turn.

Something starting with E.

Edwardian villa?

No.

Eastern suburbs? No.

All right, I give up. Estranged husband.

67 Dalkieth Avenue, Hyde Park.

Untouched period charm in sought-after location.

Generously proportioned rooms

characterize the appeal of this late-Victorian villa-style home

with original features.

This meticulously renovated family home

is ideal for entertainment

and is a short walk from a prestige retail and vibrant café district.

You're not coming in, are you?

No, I just wanted to take a quick squiz at the guttering.

It looks fine. What's she on about?

Duh. She had it fixed by some men.

I'll talk to you later.

The property also boasts recently refurbished guttering.

Hi, you've reached Wendy McKinnon.

Please leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

Hi. It's me.

Um... I...

I just finished watching Frank Jr. rehearsing,

and um...

He's, um...

Look, I-I think we should talk maybe.

Um, he's...

Um... he's home.

He's fine and, um, the gutters look good.

Um... okay.

Talk later.

It's Frank, by the way.

Yep? All right. What's happened?

Nothing. Why?

Is he all right? Yeah, he's fine.

What happened? Nothing.

So what's with the "we should talk"?

What? You left a message.

You're like, "It's Frank. We should talk".

Yeah.

Um... Just tell me he's all right.

He's fine.

You know, sorry.

I was just watching him

at rehearsal and... he's good.

Sorry? He's... He's good.

He's, um, he's talented, you know,

at, at acting.

And I was just wondering if we should do something about that.

Well, did you tell him? What?

Are you kidding? No, you don't tell them things like that.

I mean, should we send him to one of those special schools?

Frank, I'll talk to you later.

No, hang on. You know what I mean.

One of those schools for kids who can't play footy.

Eighteen Waltham Street, Prospect.

Mortgagee auction, with period charm, excellent floor plan,

secure parking at the rear.

Subject to council approval.

This home will excite the discerning inner-city buyer

looking for convenience and style.

Central bathroom, gas heating and appliances.

North-facing rear garden, ideal...

Looks like a deceased estate.

Why? Did you find the body? We looked everywhere for it.

Well, if it is a deceased estate,

why does it say "mortgagee auction" on the board?

Well, the mortgagee is deceased. I believe that's why she's selling.

Excuse me, mate. Sorry.

Excuse me for a sec, mate.

Um, not to be rude, but this isn't in your price range.

Yeah, well, but it's listed here as... Yeah, I know what it says.

I put it there.

Wow.

at last. I'm so sorry, Frank.

Good Lord, no wonder you're late.

Look at you, all handsome. I didn't wear this for you, Mum. It's Anzac Day.

Don't be silly. I know that.

How was it? it was pretty good. Same as last year.

Hello.

Frank, this is Damien. Damien, Frank.

G'day.

Now, I'll take that. Sit down and I'll serve up before it gets cold.

That looks pretty swish.

Thanks, Mum.

It's better than the bully, Phillip?

You tell 'em it's from me. There's plenty more where that came from.

It was better than the bully.

The tins aren't rusty like the other ones?

Yeah, eat up, mate. Shush.

You love that, don't you? Yeah. It's good.

Um...

Sarah tells me that you're in IT?

That's right, yeah. I run IT for the HR department at the RAAF.

Okay. I see. CPU's?

Well, yeah, yeah, that's correct.

Um, we maintain a virtualized data center cluster,

with high bandwidth off-site replication for redundancy.

Spin up VM's when the I/0's get out of spec,

which could be from either our intranet or Internet hosted web apps.

Um, we've got to watch out for SNMP traps that target our 5-9's uptime SLA.

And, of course, obviously, I mean, security is a big issue,

so we, we dig through lines of code

to check for possible SQL injection exploits.

What about you, Frank?

I'm in real estate.

Right.

So, um...

what's this place worth, do you reckon?

Mum, where are the... where are the... No, no, it goes in there.

It used to be in there.

Sarah, um, I can help if you want.

If you've got another tea towel, I could dry. No, don't be silly.

You're a guest. Go and sit down. Damien can do it.

So, I know you said you met over the phone.

I'm just still a little... You must live in Linden Park.

Um, Graham Street.

Yeah, I'm around the corner on Ostral. Right, right.

Yeah, and we have similar phone numbers.

And I think that the threes and the sixes got turned around.

I mean she was calling you, but...

She got me instead. Right.

And, um, you know, we got to talking and...

Yeah. When you say it out loud, it does sound a little off-key.

A little bit. Yeah.

- There's tea if you want it when you finish. - Thanks, Mum.

And don't throw the butts over the fence like you usually do, Damien.

It upsets the tai chi ladies.

0oh.

Busted.

Thanks for lunch. My pleasure.

Damien.

Frank.

Always nice to meet a member of the armed forces, especially in peacetime.

Take care.

Righto.

Mate!

Can I touch it? Of course you can.

God!

Sarah! Fancy meeting you here.

Everything okay? Yes. Well, no.

I've just been visiting a friend. okay.

Everything good, I hope. She's quite unwell.

I'm sorry to hear that.

This is my son, Frank. Frank.

Hello. Hello.

Sorry about the smell. It's his arm.

It's like unpasteurized cheese from the 19th century.

Everything all right? Yes. Yes, I'm fine.

Sarah?

Yes, Frank.

Do you need a ride home or something? No, Frank.

Thank you, but I'll be fine.

Who was that?

She's, She's a friend.

Right. She was a friend.

Frank, I've been, um...

I've been meaning to tell you something.

The...

The other day when I was watching rehearsal...

I mean, the cast took me out of it a little bit,

took me out of the scene.

I don't think they had plaster of paris in the Tudor period.

I mean, you know, they could have had some

rudimentary splint arrangement, I suppose.

But look, the point I was trying to make is that...

What I'm... What I'm trying to tell you is that...

you're good.

Well, you're really good.

And I'll be honest, I mean, you blew me away.

And, um, you know, I just think that you should...

No, mate, don't cry.

I mean, I wouldn't have told you if you were gonna...

All right.

All right.

Yeah, good talk.

You all right, mate? Yeah, I'm okay.

Watch out for the cones.

Ducks on the pond. Ra-ta-ta-ta.

G'day James. Hello.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Have you been crying? No.

What happened? What have you done? Nothing.

What did you do? What did he say to you?

Nothing, I'm fine. It's just hay fever.

White with one, Mr. Mollard. Cheers.

We should go. Thanks for picking him up.

Frank? Just passing. I thought I'd pop in.

I see.

You're not an ambulance chaser, are you, Frank?

What? Who said that? What, Damien?

Well, he... Well, we both were...

We're a bit unsure because you seem very nice.

I'm finally having a good week. J-Just give me his number.

I'll call him. No!

No, a fucking ambulance chaser. Give me his number.

No, no. I don't want you upsetting him.

You said he wasn't combat trained. Frank, he is my son.

Not you, him.

Now, I-I know what you've been doing,

and up to now, I've not seen any harm in it.

But she's gone, Frank, and it... it doesn't matter how nice you are to me.

It doesn't change anything. And no matter what you think is wrong with you,

you're just going to have to fix that on your own.

Because I'm not her.

I'm not family.

No, you're right.

You're not.

By the way, your mat's upside down.

Your mat is upside down!

My God! He's gone into arrest!

Forty milligrams of adrenaline. Stat!

Where's Dr. Mason?

It's not going well.

His BP and heart rate are still falling.

We need to get some adrenaline in him now. Any more and we'll risk...

Stat! Unless we stop and defibrillate him...

Frank Mollard.

It's me.

Yep?

I-I tried to call earlier, but you weren't answering.

No.

Please don't be like this.

I've rung to apologize. It's okay.

And I-I was wondering...

You see, I don't have a driver's license and...

Well, it's okay. You can use mine.

114 Mount Alexander Road, Walkerville.

It's gone.

Let's have a squiz anyway.

Substantially sized allotment in prime location,

ideal for investors.

Or create your own vision, subject to council approval.

Let your imagination run wild.

The kitchen was here.

And there were always lovely smells.

Well, she was always baking.

My mum was always baking.

And we had a lean-to... here.

On hot summer nights, they let me sleep out on the daybed.

And, I'd be awake... until all hours,

counting the stars.

How many were there back then?

I don't think I ever got that far.

And there was a wonderful nectarine tree here.

And lavender and rosemary all along the fence.

I was always getting stung by bees.

Dear.

It's so terrible to see it like this.

My father was very proud it was a working garden.

There was, um, a vine he put in over there.

That would be over 70 years old by now.

I thought it was bigger. It always seemed bigger.

Yeah, they always do.

Come on.

Let's go see the next one.

You got... Take my arm.

14 Macklethwaite Street, Clarence Gardens.

Double-fronted family residence in highly sought-after area,

with... scope to further improve.

Thank you. There you go.

Is that a spruce or a fir?

I think it's a Blue Cedar, Cedrus atlantica.

Look, I can, um, look it up for you when I get home.

Let me do the talking.

Hey. Hey.

Frank Mollard. Phillip Lang Real Estate. Card?

You can keep that.

Yeah, cool, man. Yeah, nice font.

Yeah, it's a serif. Yeah.

Yeah, um, we're actually renting at the moment, so... Yeah, keenly aware of that.

Yeah, me and the cats were, you know, we're rehearsing, so...

That was you? Yeah.

Wow. I thought you were spinning some vinyl.

I thought it was like Sly and the Family Stone.

- That's not, Sly, man. - I wish.

Anyway, back to me. Sure.

My, um, associate and I are in the area today and today only,

to evaluate properties that Phillip Lang Real Estate

has identified as having potential.

Look, um, let me be frank with you.

- I need a name. - Kyle.

Kyle. Right, Kyle.

My name's Frank. Yeah, you said.

Anyway I was just wondering if we could...

May we come in and have a quick squiz?

Um, yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah, of course, yeah.

Come on in. Make yourself at home.

Thank you. No worries.

We won't take much of your time. Like five minutes or something.

Well, I can give you the tour. No, no, no, you jam. We'll be right.

I'm... I'm sorry to disturb you.

Hi. All right.

- Yeah, no problem. - Let's get back into it.

Is that your dad?

No, it's not my dad.

Light-filled entrance

leads to spacious kitchen and meals area.

I don't know the guy. Does he look like my dad?

I remember these curtains.

They're the same.

They are the same curtains.

Is it cancer?

How long did they give you?

I can't think of any other reason that we'd be here.

I'll be all right, Frank. They say I'll be all right.

That's not true.

That's not based on a true story.

If they said that, we'd be at the zoo looking at meerkats and eating ice cream.

I have a intercranial cerebral aneurysm,

and they can't...

I don't know how long.

It's not as if they give you a date.

Damien know?

He thinks I'm just off-color.

Right.

So he just thinks that your hip is crook?

No, that's not lying.

But the hip won't be done because...

Because of the aneurysm, they can't give me a general anesthetic.

They daren't put me under a general anesthetic.

Well...

thanks for telling me.

Hey, man. Hey.

Hey, Kyle. Thanks very much. Yeah, yeah. No worries.

Really appreciate it. Just hang on a sec. Hang on a sec.

Dude, where are the Feb 15 demos?

We'll just be off. It's cool. Check it out.

Yeah. it's just like, you know, like an EP. Good.

Yeah, sort of like a, you know,

between albums, kind of limited release. Right.

Yeah, yeah, double A-side. Right.

We're going through a transitional period. Right.

Shifting our influences away from Miles, Pastorius, toward funk.

Rock is dead. Yeah.

Rock is dead.

Long live Paper Scissors. Yeah.

So, what's this, what's the place worth, do you reckon?

This place? Yeah.

As it is?

mostly sentimental value.

That's sweet. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. Thanks, mate. Yeah, no worries.

And nice meeting you too, lady.

Madame. Ma'am. Thank you.

God. How long does this go on for?

This track? 137 minutes.

Frank,

I'd be glad if you didn't say anything to Damien.

I know you wouldn't.

I feel silly asking.

Would you like to come in for a cuppa?

What was she like?

Who? Mum?

Old.

Older than she should have been.

Disappointed.

In what?

Me. Dad.

Herself, I suppose.

Her life.

She always smelled of Taft hair spray.

And she kept a pharmacy of placebos in her bedside drawer.

She seemed to be on hold two hours a day

waiting to talk to somebody at 5AA talkback.

I remember...

at Christmas,

she would put as many five-cent coins into my bit of the pudding as she could.

Must have been six buck's worth.

I mean, there was more coins than there was pudding.

Then I read somewhere...

that the nickel in five-cent coins

gave off toxins when cooked.

It turns out she was trying to kill me.

With kindness though.

There aren't any for you.

- What's that? - It's a water feature.

What's it doing here?

Phillip had it put in this morning.

Harris Real Estate has got one, apparently.

Don't you like it?

I have to go to the toilet all the time now, like nana.

Is he in?

He's around the corner, checking out the billboard.

We have a billboard?

And a water feature.

- Phillip. - Frank.

What do you reckon?

Nice font.

What did you think of the water feature?

Olivia showed it to me.

You all right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, all good. Piss off, Frank.

Yeah, well, that's not true.

That's not based on a true story.

What's going on? Nothing's going on, Frank.

Everything's dandy.

Is it your old man?

Okay, yeah.

Don't take this the wrong way, Frank, but I'm blaming you.

Right. I must warn you, there's a queue.

This is costing me a fortune.

I want you to meet someone.

I want you to meet my dead mother.

You bloody double-crossed me, that's what I reckon.

You... You said you'd be at the beach waiting for us,

and you... and you weren't bloody well there. Dad?

Dad, it's me. Phillip.

Again. Yes.

Dad, I've brought someone to see you.

Hello, Noel. I'm Sarah.

No, no, not this one. I wanna talk to the other one.

Gave me the bloody malaria pills.

They're making me worse, I reckon. I keep vomiting the things up.

Can't help that. Can't help that.

Noel? Noel?

That's all done with now, and you don't have to take them anymore if you don't want to.

My oath, I don't. Bloody things.

It's all done with now, and you're back home now.

Yeah? It's all over with.

You know, you're gonna be up and about in no time.

Yeah? Yeah.

When can I see B-Beth?

Soon, love. You'll see her soon.

You all right? Yeah.

It's all good.

It's all good.

Thanks.

Phillip,

did your father... ever mention a Captain Simpson?

He might have. It comes pretty thick and fast these days.

No, before.

Before, he never talked about anything.

Captain Simpson was the commander of your father's artillery unit.

And when the Japanese landed in Rabaul, the men were cut off.

They were... totally isolated.

And Simpson had to take those men...

there were 40 of them, including your father,

through the jungle to safety.

It took them three months.

And later, Simpson died of...

Died of malaria in Port... Port Moresby.

Your father credits Simpson with saving his life.

And Simpson's first name,

his given name...

was Phillip.

Here you go.

Thank you.

You all right?

Good.

Well, Phillip, it was very nice to meet you.

And your father.

You're all right.

No. That's all right. Sorry.

I'll walk you inside if you want. No, thank you.

You sure. I don't mind. No, no, no, no, no.

Bye.

Wow. I know.

Freud was right. He was onto something.

He did very well out of it.

So I'm told.

Not like us, though. Nah, nah, not even close, mate.

Wrong racket.

Break, heart. I prithee, break! Look up, my Lord.

Vex not his ghost. 0, let him pass! He hates him much.

That would upon the rack of this tough world, stretch him out longer.

The wonder he's endured so long!

The weight of this sadness we must obey.

Speak what we feel, not what we ought to say.

The oldest have borne most.

We that are young shall not see as much nor live as long.

Yeah!

- You were the best. - Really?

Yeah, no, you know...

The sets were good.

The music not bad. That's good.

The costume. Pantaloons come up great. Really?

And you and Edgar and... Albany.

Albany! You looked like Adam and the Ants.

Frank! No, I'm just...

I'm just kidding, mate. Good effort.

Went well. It was great.

So, who's... who's Goneril? Rachel.

She isn't here, mister. I called her an hour ago.

I knocked loud.

Loudly.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

Sarah. Sarah.

Sarah!

Emergency. What service do you require?

G'day, you've called Damien. Leave me a message, I'll call you back.

Damien, it's Frank Mollard.

Could you give me a call back as soon as you get this message?

Um, you can reach me on this number.

Thanks.

We've met, I think.

I'm Dr. Elliot.

Your son had a fracture.

Are you a friend of the family?

Not all of them, no.

Were you downstairs?

Yeah, I've been advanced up to palliative.

Right. Righto.

Palliative?

That's where you can't fix 'em, right?

That's... That's correct.

How the hell is that a promotion?

Mr. Mollard?

Mr. Mollard?

I've been thinking about what you said,

"How is that a promotion?"

Yeah. Um...

Look, um...

I'm really sorry about that, you know.

But, you know...

you're gonna have to take a number.

Can we talk?

Yeah.

Hold that thought.

So...

She's cactus, right?

Damien's not onto that.

My problem is, without his say-so...

Caveats.

Unless her next of kin can tell me otherwise,

I'm legally obliged to keep her,

You know, quote unquote.

I'm already in breach of about six laws and 30 guidelines even talking to you.

Yeah.

Do you know the five stages of grief? The Kübler-Ross model?

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance?

I'm familiar with bargaining. Well, Damien's in denial.

I would have thought he went straight to anger.

So, your relationship with him is...

Right.

I wonder if that could change?

The Power and the Glory. Graham Greene.

Jurassic Park. Michael Crichton.

No, just kidding. It's a joke.

To Kill a Mockingbird. Harper Lee.

The Naked Civil Servant by Quentin Crisp.

If she knew, why didn't she say anything?

What? That you're gay?

I mean, no. What did you expect?

The Leif Garrett poster is a dead giveaway, don't you reckon?

Look...

Sorry.

I'm not gonna be any good at this.

At what?

It's fine for you. You've done this before.

Yeah, and I stuffed it up.

Why do you think I'm here?

Look, Damien, I'm... I'm not where you are right now,

but... I know where you're headed.

And my only recommendation is that you don't go there.

Let her go.

I didn't.

I couldn't.

Now she's gone.

I stuffed up.

She died.

By herself.

And that's what's gonna happen to me if I'm not careful.

Mate, you've got to approach this head on,

'cause if you don't, it's gonna come back around and bite you on the bum.

You don't wanna grow up to be like me, do you?

They're saying there's not much chance her condition will improve.

Well... Well, none. And if she remains stable...

Right. So is this what Elliot is saying? Yeah, um,

only that her condition has deteriorated. Okay.

Atrophy is the word they used so, um... Right.

But when they, um, when they told her that... Yeah.

Is that what she said she thought?

No, no, yeah, that's what she said. I mean they're all saying that.

Okay. That the palliative guy...

Yeah, Right, yeah. The neurologist guy, the...

Well, I mean, is it... is it definite? Probable? Possible?

No. It's, it's definite. Right.

Yeah, um, yeah, it's definite. Right.

That's the word they're using a lot.

So has she said it or was it some doctor?

She said it. They said it. Right.

Um, they were trying to make a point to me, I think,

that, um... No.

So, if you could, um... I'll be there.

I mean, I can understand... If you want me there, I will be there.

Can you help me?

With the house?

It'll have to be sold. Sure.

Can you help me with that?

Yeah. I've never done this before, so I don't know how to...

I mean, I suppose her affairs need to be, sorted out.

- Could you help me with the house? - Yeah.

I wouldn't know what to do. I...

Well, it's yours to do what you want.

No. I...

I mean, I don't know what she wants.

Wanted. Wants.

Yeah, look.

Sure, I can...

I can help you with the house.

I learned to walk there.

I remember...

I remember the smell of cabbage.

I remember the smell of Dad's Benson & Hedges on his coat

and in his wardrobe.

It's a nice big room.

12-by-15 in the old money.

I'm just gonna sneak out the back. Take your time.

Well?

You first.

Well, what's the reserve? There isn't one.

Yeah, it'd have to be mid-to-late sixes though, yeah?

I reckon that's about the region, yeah.

We've told you already we can't go past mid-fives.

Late-fives at most.

So, what are late-fives, you reckon?

Seventy-five?

Done.

You're kidding.

Wait, you'll sell for 575?

No, I wouldn't, but that's the figure.

That's your figure. No, but it's the figure.

You know, that's the figure. Yeah, but...

Yeah, but there's no, you know... No, no, no, no. No caveats. Nope.

Vendor wants a quick sale. Quick settlement.

You can do 60-day terms, yeah?

I can talk to the bank. You talk to the bank.

Look, if I was to write the board,

I'd say "Much Loved Family Home."

The vendor doesn't want it knocked down

and some cheap flats put up.

Doesn't want to "Jamie Durie" it.

It's got a working garden.

She needs a bit of love, though, this ol' girl here.

I wouldn't know.

Bit of an aggro prune should get her going again.

I'm an arborist. Tree doctor.

I thought that was in shipping.

How many kids do you have? Just the one. Why?

Yeah.

Use the, dad gag, yeah?

That's where I was heading, yeah. Very good. Very good.

Your wife, um... Julie.

Julie. Yeah, you introduced me.

She seemed, um... She'll be fine.

You know, a bit... No.

Sorry, bookshelves.

Half of her books are still at her mum's place, 'cause we can't fit them in the unit.

She's a Dickens tragic. I've been getting into him.

He's pretty good, don't you reckon?

I wouldn't know, mate. I'm dyslexic.

You come into my office Monday morning with a 575 figure.

We'll get the paperwork started.

That's it? We're done?

It's deceptively simple, isn't it?

Mate, you sure?

I'm sure.

Do you wanna pop in somewhere, grab a drink to celebrate?

No, no, no, no. It's very generous of you, but too early in my recovery for me.

Go on. Go inside and tell your wife.

Do your twinkle fingers thing. Go on.

575.