Original subtitles

(OPENING THEME PLAYING)

(ALL SIGH HAPPILY)

Warm sun, cool breeze. The perfect day.

You said it, bro.

(MUNCHING) Mmm!

These nuts are so good.

Well, that's 'cause I'm a nut mixologist!

(CYBORG READING)

(RAVEN READING)

That's right, Ray. All the good stuff.

That's how you do nuts, yo!

(CRUNCHING)

(GASPS) Where did the mixed varietals of nuts and legumes go?

(SQUEAKING)

Squirrel.

Return our nuts, or face the consequences.

(SWALLOWS)

(ALL GASPING)

How dare you?

This indignity will not stand!

Titans, go!

(BEEPING)

(EXPLODING)

(EXCLAIMS)

-(HISSING) -(EAGLE SCREECHING)

(RAVEN AND STARFIRE GRUNT)

(SQUEAKING)

(GROANING)

Bested by a filthy rodent!

This is an all-time low for the Teen Titans.

(SQUEAKS)

He's still giving us the business!

(SQUEAKS TAUNTINGLY)

(ALL GROANING ANGRILY)

Titans! Let's hear some revenge fantasies!

RAVEN: Uh, let's throw him in a cauldron

and boil him alive!

STARFIRE: I wish to separate his molecules with the Ray of Disintegration!

CYBORG: I just wanna stuff the old shablamo down his throat

and sha-blow up his whole face!

-(DOG BARKING) -BEAST BOY: Bite him, bite him, bite him all over!

(GROWLING)

Yes! Yes!

Let's do it!

Let's destroy that furry piece of trash!

Alas, Beast Boy,

we live in a world that frowns upon violence.

Then, we can't pummel that squirrel in bloody revenge?

Not with society's adherence to the ideals of pacifism.

Hold up! I thought society was cool with violence

as long as it was funny.

How could violence ever be "funny," Cyborg?

You sound like a crazy person.

Wow, real sick, Cyborg.

No, look.

(CARTOON MUSIC PLAYING)

(ZOOMING)

(MAKING SHRILL NOISE)

(OBJECT WHISTLING THROUGH THE AIR)

(TITANS LAUGHING)

Guess what? You're laughing at violence.

(GASPS) You're right.

But that's a cartoon. Real-life violence isn't funny. Right?

Only one way to find out.

-Hey, Robin. -Yes?

Wagamapow!

(EXCLAIMS IN PAIN)

Hey!

Huh, not funny.

Hmm, maybe you didn't hit him right.

Wait... (SCREAMING)

My teeth! My teeth!

(SOBBING)

Hmm, perhaps repetition is the key to the laughters.

(ROBIN EXCLAIMING)

Huh, this isn't funny. He just sits there and cries.

(SOBBING) Why? We're all supposed to be friends!

(MUFFLED) Why me?

So, why is violence funny in cartoons but not in real life?

Oh! It's because Robin's head didn't spin around

and make crazy noises when we hit him.

So, if we wish to get the bloody revenge against the squirrel

in a socially acceptable manner,

we have to do it as the "cartoonies"?

Exactly.

If we become silly cartoons, won't we lose our depth?

It's either that, or the squirrel wins.

Never!

(ALL CHATTERING)

I never thought I'd admit this, Cyborg,

but the Teen Titans are way better as silly cartoons!

(GRUNTS)

(EXPLODING)

Who would have thought we could translate so seamlessly into raw comedy?

It feels good not to be weighed down by character development, yo!

-(BEAST BOY SCREAMING) -I believe

this is the definitive incarnation of the Teen Titans.

(EXPLODING)

While everyone can agree that this has been a change for the better... (BABBLES)

...we still got a job to do.

Squirrel!

(SQUEAKS AND YAWNS)

(ALL GROANING ANGRILY)

(EXPLODING)

You wanna hit it with a mallet, don't ya?

ALL: Yes!

You wanna shove a stick of dynamite down his throat, don't ya?

ALL: Oh, yeah!

You wanna drop an anvil on his head, don't ya?

ALL: Yes!

Well, now that we're hilarious cartoons,

we can do all that horrible stuff.

(CARTOON THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(SQUIRREL MUNCHING)

(UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING)

(SAW BUZZING)

(CRASHING)

(UP-TEMPO BANJO MUSIC PLAYING)

(WHISTLES)

(ALL CHEERING)

(OBJECT WHISTLING THROUGH THE AIR)

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

(GROANS)

That squirrel keeps gettin' the best of us.

Every time we attempt to violence the squirrel, we are violenced instead.

RAVEN: Why is this happening?

I know! We're silly cartoons now.

And in this type of cartoon, the hunter never catches the prey!

Think about it! (BABBLES)

-(ELECTRICITY BUZZING) -(GROANING)

(GASPS) Oh!

Like the cat never catches the fish, ever!

That's right!

Then, we shall never get our socially acceptable bloody revenge?

Not by being funny.

Is there another socially acceptable form of cartoon violence?

Only one.

Where violence is delivered in the name of justice!

You mean action cartoons?

We about to get some justice, yo!

-Booyah! -(EXPLODING)

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

Transformation complete.

Now, we can defeat the evil megasquirrel

and retrieve the lost nuts of Snackonia.

Titans, battle stations.

(BEEPING)

(BEEPING)

STARFIRE: Megasquirrel located.

Fire quad lasers!

(WEAPONS CHARGING)

(WEAPONS CHARGING)

(LASERS BLASTING)

(EXPLODING)

The quad lasers had no effect.

Power reserves down to 60%.

(GRUNTS) Megasquirrel is too powerful.

It's time to form Zolton! Energize interlocks!

ALL: Interlocks energized!

(SQUEAKS)

Form infernal sphere!

(ENERGY CHARGING)

(EXPLODING)

CYBORG: We have secured the nut mix!

(BOOMING)

-CYBORG: Awesome! Great job! Wonderful! -(OTHERS CHEERING)

Aha! Good job, Titans.

The megasquirrel has been defeated

and we are all champions. Aha!

A great justice has been done here today, ha!

In the eyes of society, we are righteous.

(LAUGHING)

(GASPS) Oh, no! The squirrel.

It is not making the breaths.

We went too far. And for what, a bowl of nuts?

I see now that violence is never acceptable, regardless of its nature.

(ALL SOBBING)

This tear burns as it rolls down my cheek.

-(EXPLODING) -(ALL SCREAMING)

(SQUIRREL SQUEAKING)

(CARTOON THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(CACKLES)

Ain't I a stinker?

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!