Original subtitles

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY PARAMOUNT PICTURES CORPORATION

[PARTY NOISE AND CHATTER FROM OTHER ROOM]

[CHATTER AND CLAPPING]

WHOO!

Crowd: WHOO!

Tooth fairy: GO! COME ON!

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

YOU'VE BROKEN OUR RECORD.

OH, WHY, THANK YOU,

AND I'D ALSO LIKE TO THANK

MY MOTHER AND FATHER,

WITHOUT WHOSE SENSE OF BALANCE

I NEVER WOULD HAVE--

WELL, THEN DON'T FORGET YOUR SISTER

WHO JUST HAPPENS TO HAVE A TURN LEFT.

HOLD THIS.

[CHUCKLING] YEAH. OH, COME ON, RUDOLFA.

WHEN HAVE YOU EVER BEATEN KRISTEN AT ANYTHING?

I'M REMINDED WHY YOU'RE THE SANDMAN, SANDMAN.

YOU'RE SO BORING, YOU JUST NATURALLY

PUT PEOPLE TO SLEEP.

OF COURSE YOU SHOULD HAVE YOUR TURN.

OH, ISN'T THAT JUST LIKE MY BABY SISTER?

ALWAYS FAIR,

ALWAYS PERFECT.

OK...DOWN.

DOWN.

Elf: OH, YEAH.

AND HERE WE GO.

First Elf: YOU CAN DO IT.

Second Elf: SHE'S DOING IT. THAT'S AMAZING.

YES! HA! I DID IT. I WON.

THANK YOU.

OH, RUDOLFA?

YES?

YOU DON'T WIN IF YOU CHEAT.

YOU DON'T?

DUNDER! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?

GO!

[EVERYONE LAUGHING]

SANTA'S NOT HERE YET. [SIGHS] WORSE EVERY YEAR.

I'LL GO HURRY HIM UP.

[SANTA SIGHS]

ARE YOU IN HERE, SANTA?

YES, DEAR. HERE I AM.

AREN'T YOU GONNA GET DRESSED, DAD?

DID YOU SEE THIS?

♪ JINGLE BELLS, SANTA SMELLS ♪

♪ CAN'T GET IN THE SLEIGH ♪

♪ HE'S AWAKE-- ♪

OH, THAT'S TERRIBLE.

HMM?

BUT IT'S NOTHING.

THERE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE ONE OR TWO

WHO DON'T LIKE CHRISTMAS. SCROOGE--

AND ATTILA THE HUN.

THE MOOD DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT THIS YEAR.

YOU'RE SANTA. YOU ARE THE MOOD.

MAYBE I'M JUST GETTING TOO OLD.

YOU'RE IMMORTAL. YOU ARE OLD.

[CHUCKLES]

I MEAN THAT IN A GOOD KIND OF WAY,

LIKE A WISE OLD SAYING.

ALWAYS RIGHT, ALWAYS TRUE.

HERE ARE YOUR WOOLLIES.

PLEASE GET READY. IT'S TIME FOR THE LIST.

I'LL BE RIGHT DOWN.

HURRY.

A FEW OF THE ELVES

HAVE HAD A LITTLE TOO MUCH DRAGON MIST.

HA.

EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE FINE, DAD.

[KISS]

CHRISTMAS IS COMING!

[GROANS]

OHHH.

HMM.

NOW, NOW, YOU GUYS. LET'S WAIT FOR SANTA.

[APPLAUSE]

HA HA HA!

Elf: MERRY CHRISTMAS, SANTA.

TONIGHT WE START THE CHRISTMAS CLOCK

TO MARK THE TIME TILL CHRISTMAS COMES.

HELLO AND WELCOME!

AH.

THE CHRISTMAS SEASON...

[CLICKS]

TRADITIONALLY BEGINS,

AS IT HAS THROUGHOUT THE YEARS,

WITH THE RUNNING OF THE LIST.

IT IS THE DESERVING WHO RECEIVE.

THEY ARE THE ONES WHO REMAIN ON THE LIST

AND FIND THEIR GIFTS ON CHRISTMAS MORNING.

EVERY YEAR, WE SEE WHO'S BEEN NAUGHTY

AND WHO'S BEEN NICE

BECAUSE EVERYONE IS ON THE LIST TO BEGIN WITH.

AND IT'S UP TO EVERY PERSON

TO REMAIN ON THE LIST OR NOT.

SO, PROCEED.

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]

HA HA HA.

[BELL CHIMES AND HONKS]

[FASTER HONKING]

OH, MY, MY. SO MANY NAMES CROSSED OFF.

STOP.

[HONKING STOPS]

I FELT THIS COMING. [GROANS]

I'VE KNOWN THE MORTAL WORLD WAS GROWING

MORE AND MORE SELFISH.

BUT GOODNESS ALWAYS OUTWEIGHS BADNESS.

IT SEEMS THE BALANCE HAS TIPPED

IN THE WRONG DIRECTION.

WELL, WHAT'S TRUE IS TRUE, SANTA.

THE OTHER DAY A CHILD STOLE

HIS GRANDPA'S DENTURES,

PUT THEM UNDER HIS PILLOW,

AND WROTE ME A NOTE SAYING HE WANTED

$500 FOR THE SET.

PEOPLE DON'T CARE ABOUT GOODNESS.

THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT CARING.

IT'S ONLY ABOUT THE PRESENTS.

I SAY FORGET IT, I'M NOT GOING.

All: WHAT?!

Santa: JINGLE BELLS, SANTA SMELLS,

CAN'T GET INTO THE SLEIGH.

DAD! WAIT! YOU CAN'T DO THIS.

THIS HAS BEEN COMING FOR A LONG TIME.

YOU ARE GETTING ON, FATHER.

DON'T PUSH IT, RUDOLFA.

OH, NO, I MEAN THAT YOU JUST MIGHT NEED A VACATION.

VACATION? CHRISTMAS IS COMING.

SANTA CAN'T TAKE A VACATION FOR CHRISTMAS.

WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE CHILDREN

WHO DESERVE THEIR PRESENTS?

WELL, MAYBE WE JUST NEED A DIFFERENT APPROACH.

A DIFFERENT APPROACH TO CHRISTMAS?

WELL, WHY NOT?

BECAUSE IT'S CHRISTMAS. IT WORKS FINE.

REALLY? IS THAT RIGHT, FATHER?

SHE'S GOT A POINT, KRISTEN.

YOU CAN'T MEAN THAT! YOU'RE SANTA CLAUS!

WELL, YOU KNOW, I GUESS IT IS TIME

FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO STEP IN.

WELL, I WAS GONNA TAKE OVER SOONER OR LATER, ANYWAY.

AFTER ALL, I AM THE ELDEST. RIGHT, FATHER?

DAD?

NOW, WAIT, DAD. THERE MUST BE SOME WAY

FOR YOU TO GIVE THIS ONE MORE CHANCE.

WHAT WOULD IT TAKE?

HOPE.

HOPE THAT PEOPLE CAN CHANGE.

OK. GOOD.

WHAT IF I COULD MAKE A FAMILY'S NAME

WHO'S BEEN CROSSED OFF THE LIST

REAPPEAR AS IT WAS? BEFORE CHRISTMAS EVE?

THEN YOU'D HAVE HOPE AGAIN, RIGHT?

IT WOULD PROVE THEY CHANGED AND DESERVED CHRISTMAS.

PLEASE. THESE MORTALS ARE A DISASTER.

I MEAN, THEY'RE NOT IMMORTAL LIKE WE ARE,

SO THEY'RE DESPERATE,

GREEDY AND GRASPING UNTIL THEIR TIME RUNS OUT.

THAT'S NOT TRUE.

IF IT WERE, NO ONE WOULD BE ON THE LIST.

WELL, PRETTY SOON THERE MIGHT NOT BE.

STOP. I'LL GIVE YOU A CHANCE, KRISTEN.

AT WHAT NAME DID THE LIST STOP?

AH, THERE.

THE MORGANS.

IF YOU CAN CHANGE THEM,

THERE'S HOPE FOR EVERYONE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

BUT BEAR IN MIND,

ONCE A NAME HAS BEEN CROSSED OFF THE LIST,

IT'S VERY NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE

TO GET IT BACK ON.

P.A.: ♪ HERE COMES GOOD OL' SANTA CLAUS ♪

♪ DOWN THROUGH THE CHIMNEY WHERE HE DROPS THE TOYS ♪

♪ ALL FOR THE LITTLE ONES' CHRISTMAS JOYS ♪

♪ HO HO HO ♪

[HONK HONK]

Kid: COME ON, LADY. MOVE IT!

♪ DOWN THROUGH THE CHIMNEY BRINGS GOOD SAINT NICK ♪

[HONK HONK]

Radio: WELL, CONDITIONS TODAY

IN THE MIDTOWN REGION ARE NOT LOOKING GOOD,

SO IF YOU'RE HEADING INTO WORK AT ALL TODAY,

JUST GIVE YOURSELVES AN EXTRA 15 OR 20 MINUTES

TO GET IN. WE'VE GOT A BIT OF A TIE-UP

Radio: AT THE INTERSECTION--

[HONK HONK]

I KNOW, I KNOW. ALL RIGHT, LISTEN.

I'VE GOT AN EARLY MEETING WITH HARLEY, OK?

I'M PROBABLY GONNA BE HOME LATE,

SO, BRITT, BE GOOD! KYLE, BE GOOD!

SANTA? FAT FACE. BAD CLOTHES. WON'T SHAVE.

Computer: ♪ JINGLE BELLS, SANTA SMELLS ♪

Radio: PUT A NICE PLATE OF COOKIES--

Woman: AAH! OH!

WE'LL BE THERE.

[CELL PHONE BEEPS OFF]

REDROCK?

REDROCK, HONEY.

WHEW. WHEN?

DECEMBER 24th, THEIR PLACE IN SEATTLE.

THAT'S CHRISTMAS EVE DAY.

SO WHAT?

GGRRRR!

IF THAT'S WHEN THEY WANT TO SEE OUR PRESENTATION,

THAT'S WHEN WE GO.

I MEAN, WE GET THIS ACCOUNT, IT'S THE BIG TIME.

OH, WE HAVE TO BE BRILLIANT.

Man: WHAT'S GOING ON?

GET AWAY FROM ME!

CHARLENE, WHERE YOU GOING?

AWAY! I'M GOING AWAY!

NO, NO, NO. YOU CAN'T DO THAT!

THE KIDS NEED YOU. THEY NEED THEIR AU PAIR.

THEY'VE BEEN IN MY DRAWERS.

THEY PUT PEANUT BUTTER IN MY UNDERWEAR!

IT'S THE LAST, ABSOLUTE FINAL STRAW!

SURE, SHE SAYS IT'S PEANUT BUTTER.

AWAY! I'M GOING AWAY!

REDROCK.

THAT WOULD PUT MORGAN-JENKINS MEDIA ON THE MAP, FINALLY.

AND THEN MAYBE YOU AND I CAN GET ON THE MAP, FINALLY.

MAYBE IT'S TIME YOU TALKED TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT US.

JINGLE BELLS, WEDDING BELLS,

I WOULD MAKE AN INCREDIBLE CHRISTMAS PRESENT.

WE DON'T NEED AN AU PAIR, UNCLE JOHNNY.

WE HAVE ME.

WELL, BETTER GET YOU GUYS TO SCHOOL.

WE'LL TELL YOUR FATHER ABOUT IT LATER.

MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T TELL HIM AT ALL, EH?

HA HA HA!

YOU KNOW, TOOTH FAIRY,

I THOUGHT I REMEMBERED THEIR LETTER.

THE MORGANS, KYLE AND BRITTANY.

THEY SENT A LETTER 5 YEARS AGO.

SHE WAS 5, AND HE WAS 7.

OH, I REMEMBER THOSE KIDS.

THEY WANTED 10 BUCKS A TOOTH.

"DEAR SANTA. I'D LIKE AN ANGIE HOLLYWOOD DOLL,

"AND MY BROTHER WANTS A BASKETBALL.

"AND WE NEED A NEW CLOCK 'CAUSE THE ONE WE HAVE

"DOESN'T SEEM TO GIVE MY MOM AND DAD

"ANY TIME FOR THEMSELVES.

"AND THAT'S WHAT THEY KEEP SAYING THEY NEED.

"SO MAYBE A NEW CLOCK FOR THEM.

"WE'RE MAKING A LOT OF COOKIES FOR YOU.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, BRITTANY AND KYLE MORGAN."

THAT WAS THE LAST TIME THEY WROTE.

SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

PAY THEM A VISIT.

THE TRUE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS

IS IRRESISTIBLE,

ESPECIALLY AT FULL STRENGTH.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

WHAT IS IT?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

KYLE, WHAT HAPPENED?

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

HE PUT PERMA-GLUE ON YOUR WHISTLE?

YOU DIDN'T EAT THE LUNCH I PACKED YOU.

THAT'S 'CAUSE, LIKE, I'VE SAID A MILLION TIMES

I BUY MY LUNCH. I'M 13.

BUT THE LUNCH HERE IS TERRIBLE.

PIZZA'S EVERY VITAMIN EVER MADE.

OH, YEAH. LIKE IT--

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

THIS TIME YOU'VE DONE IT, KYLE.

WE HAVE TO TAKE SOME SERIOUS ACTION.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THIS IS MY BROTHER.

HE HASN'T DONE ANYTHING.

IT'S SUSPENSION THIS TIME.

REALLY?

YOU SUSPEND HIM, I'M NOT GONNA BE VOLUNTEERING

AT THE LIBRARY ANYMORE.

I'M NOT GONNA MANAGE THE BAKE SALE.

AND...

I'M NOT GONNA SIGN ANY MORE OF THE KIDS' REPORT CARDS

'CAUSE THEIR OWN MOTHERS WON'T.

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYS]

JUMP, JUMP.

NO, NOT THE EDGE.

NO, NO, NO.

GO. GO, GO, GO!

OK, JUMP!

JUMP THROUGH THE BRIDGE.

START DANCING, START DANCING.

COME ON, COME ON.

GIVE ME MORE LETTUCE.

HELLO! WHAT'S GOING ON?

[TURNS OFF MUSIC]

BILL, YOU'RE HOME!

WE'RE TRAINING SPOT.

YOU KNOW, JUMPING, DANCING.

NEXT...HOLLYWOOD.

THEY HAVE TALKING MICE, TALKING DOGS,

IT'S THE NEXT THING. TALKING LIZARD.

HAS TO HAPPEN.

OK, YOU KNOW, JUST FORGET I ASKED

BECAUSE I DON'T WANNA KNOW.

I DON'T WANNA KNOW, DO I, KYLE?

DON'T WANNA KNOW, DO I, BRITTANY?

BUT YOU SEE, I DO KNOW BECAUSE THE SCHOOL CALLED,

AND I KNOW THAT THE TWO OF YOU MANAGED

TO GET YOURSELVES SUSPENDED INDEFINITELY,

AND I KNOW THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME VERY HAPPY.

WHERE'S CHARLENE?

SHE'S, UH...

SHE QUIT, JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHERS.

OK! BOYS, GIRLS, WEIRD UNCLES,

SOME THINGS HAVE GOT TO CHANGE AROUND HERE.

I AM FACING THE BIGGEST PRESENTATION

SINCE I STARTED THIS COMPANY,

AND I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR MY 2 CHILDREN

TO GET SUSPENDED FROM SCHOOL!

DAD, IT'S NOT HEALTHY FOR YOU TO GET SO EXCITED.

BRITTANY, IT'S NOT HEALTHY FOR A GIRL OF 10

TO ACT AS IF SHE'S 30.

IT'S NOT OUR FAULT, DAD.

OH, KYLE, YES. YES, IT WAS.

I WANT YOU ALL TO GET THIS PLACE CLEANED UP,

GO UPSTAIRS TO YOUR ROOMS AND STAY THERE

UNTIL THE BEATLES GET BACK TOGETHER.

IN THE MEANTIME...

I'M GONNA CALL THE AU PAIR SERVICE.

I'M GONNA ASK 'EM WHY, EXACTLY,

THEY HAVEN'T REPLACED CHARLENE

BECAUSE I PAY 'EM TO KEEP 'EM COMING.

I'M THE ONLY GUY IN TOWN

WITH AN AU PAIR SERVICE ON RETAINER,

WHICH JUST MIGHT BE THE SMARTEST THING

I'VE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

HI.

BRITTANY.

Brittany: MAY I HELP YOU?

UH...

MAY I COME IN?

YOU'RE THE NEW AU PAIR?

I'M HERE TO HELP. YOU MUST BE KYLE.

AND YOU'RE BILL?

ME? NO, NO. NO, I'M JOHNNY.

JONATHAN SMALLER, ACTUALLY.

Bill: JOHNNY!

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME CHARLENE QUIT BEFORE?

NOW THE AGENCY'S CLOSED. I DON'T--

I'M ON TOP OF IT, BILL. THAT'S WHY--

KRISTEN.

THAT'S WHY KRISTEN IS HERE.

GOOD.

GREAT, GREAT. UM... HI. IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.

I'M VERY SORRY TO LEAVE YOU

WITH SUCH A MESS ON YOUR FIRST DAY.

I GOTTA GO BACK TO THE OFFICE.

DO YOU HAVE A BAG?

BAG?

Bill: LUGGAGE?

OH, OF COURSE. YES, I'M STAYING.

HERE IT IS.

OK. WELL, UM... I'LL BE HOME LATER,

BRITTANY WILL GIVE YOU THE TOUR,

AND YOU TWO BEHAVE.

HURRICANE CHARLENE?

I'VE GOT TO DO MY HOMEWORK.

JOHNNY, YOU'RE NOT A GOOD INFLUENCE ON THE KIDS.

WELL, I TRY TO BE, BILL.

JOHNNY, WHAT YOU DO IS NOT CALLED TRYING.

TRYING HAS TO DO WITH APPLYING EFFORT,

AND YOU--[SIGHS]

LOOK, BUDDY, YOU'VE BEEN WITH US FOR 15 YEARS.

YOU KNOW, MAYBE IT'S TIME

TO GET YOUR OWN PLACE. GET A JOB.

PLEASE. PLEASE, BILL. HAVE YOU NO HEART?

HUH? WAIT...

OH. BAD NEWS, BILL, YOU HAVE NO HEART.

[CHUCKLES]

YOU'LL SEE. I'LL MAKE THE KIDS BEHAVE.

GIVE ME ONE MORE CHANCE.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. ONE MORE CHANCE.

THANK YOU! AND THIS TIME I'LL MAKE YOU HAPPY

YOU GAVE ME ONE MORE CHANCE.

IT WON'T BE LIKE THE OTHER TIMES

THAT YOU GAVE ME ONE MORE CHANCE.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REMINDING ME OF THAT.

AND SEE A DOCTOR ABOUT THAT HEART.

EWW!

I THINK HE'S SERIOUS THIS TIME.

[HUMMING SILENT NIGHT]

Dunder: I HOPE YOU LIKE IT. IT'S JUST FOR YOU.

YOUR PERSONAL SLEIGH.

IT'S GOT TWIN ENGINE BURNERS--

SHE'LL NEVER TURN THE MORGANS.

IT'S YOUR FAVORITE LACK OF COLOR--BLACK.

YES, MY TIME IS NIGH. HA HA HA!

GOOD JOB.

[HUMMING SILENT NIGHT]

KYLE!

OK, HERE'S THE PLAN.

WE GO WITH THE PERMA-GLUE LIST FOR STARTERS.

NUMBER ONE-- WE GLUE HER SHOES

TO THE FLOOR OF THE CLOSET.

YEAH, WE'VE GOTTA MAKE HER UNDERSTAND

THAT WE DON'T WANT HER HERE.

DINNER, EVERYONE!

HEY, WHAT IS THIS?

Brittany: SHOW-OFF.

WHOA.

DO YOU EXPECT YOUR FATHER SOON?

OH, NO. HE'S NEVER HOME FOR DINNER.

WORKING AT THE OFFICE.

WELL, LET'S EAT, SHALL WE?

DON'T YOU THINK THIS IS A LITTLE MUCH?

IT'S JUST A NICE CHRISTMAS DINNER.

IT'S NOT EVEN CHRISTMAS YET.

FOR WHAT WE ARE ABOUT TO RECEIVE

AND TO ALL OF THOSE WHO ARE WATCHING OVER US,

MAY WE BE TRULY THANKFUL.

YOU KNOW, WE'RE MISSING SOMETHING.

MISSING SOMETHING? WHAT?

KETCHUP IN A BOWL WITH A SPOON.

I'LL BE HAPPY TO GET THAT FOR YOU.

DON'T DO IT!

SINCE WHEN DO YOU TELL ME DON'T?

SINCE YOUR FATHER AND I HAD A LITTLE TALK--

ABOUT WHAT?

WELL, ABOUT-- ABOUT YOU TWO.

HE SAID-- NOT SAID, WARNED--

Kristen: WON'T BE A MOMENT!

TAKE YOUR TIME!

THAT IF YOU GUYS DON'T BEHAVE,

INCLUDING AND ESPECIALLY TREATING THIS AU PAIR

WITH KINDNESS AND MANNERS AND COURTESY,

THAT YOU GUYS WON'T EVEN GET

ONE PRESENT THIS YEAR FOR CHRISTMAS. NOTHING!

PROBABLY DOCK YOUR ALLOWANCES.

PROBABLY MINE, TOO.

I'M SUPPOSED TO GET THE NBA NINTENDO

AND THAT EXTREME SKATEBOARD--

I'M SUPPOSED TO GET THAT EVERYWHERE KIT,

INCLUDING THE 8-INCH ALL-WAY PAD.

Johnny: WELL, IT'S UP TO YOU GUYS.

THAT'S HIS PLAN. WASN'T SUPPOSED TO TELL YOU.

HERE YOU ARE.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

KYLE, YOU ARE SO VERY, VERY WELCOME.

I KNOW PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE

WE SHOULD ACT LIKE IT'S CHRISTMAS EVERY DAY--

HAVE PEACE AND JOY

AND BE HAPPY TO GIVE WHAT WE HAVE TO GIVE.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[FAMILY LAUGHING]

HEY, DADDY.

WOW.

PUT IT ON TOP OF THE TREE.

THAT'S IT, A LITTLE CLOSER.

HA HA HA!

SHE HIT ME!

HE HIT ME FIRST!

[PLATE CRASHES ON FLOOR]

OHH!

UHH.

LOOK, SHE HIT ME, AND THEN SHE LIES!

LISTEN TO THIS!

LISTEN TO THIS FIB JUST TO MAKE YOU THINK

THAT I HIT HER.

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!

[CLEARS THROAT]

I'M SURE THEY DIDN'T MEAN IT.

OH. OH, YEAH. WE'RE SORRY.

DEFINITELY.

VERY SORRY, DAD. WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.

NO WAY.

WELL, WE SHOULD GO READ SO WE'RE NOT BEHIND

WHEN WE GET TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL.

Brittany: YEAH, CAN'T WAIT.

OK. WELL, THERE'S SOMETHING I THOUGHT

I'D NEVER HEAR KYLE SAY.

YEAH, WELL, GUESS THEY'RE REALLY CHANGING.

YEAH. WELL, LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT A WAY WITH THEM.

I KNOW THERE'S BEEN SOME PROBLEMS,

BUT I BELIEVE THEY'RE REALLY GOOD KIDS.

YEAH, YOU KNOW, IT'S BEEN DIFFICULT,

BUT THEY'LL COME AROUND.

NEVER LOSE HOPE.

I, UM... GOTTA GET TO WORK.

YOU CERTAINLY HAVE A LOT OF TOYS.

DAD'S ALWAYS GIVING US STUFF.

USUALLY THE AU PAIR CLEANS THE ROOM.

BUT WE'RE SUPPOSED TO.

I ALWAYS TELL HIM TO,

AND HE WON'T.

YOU DON'T WANT SANTA COMING

INTO A MESSY HOUSE, DO YOU?

SANTA?

OF COURSE. SANTA. SHOW HIM YOUR BEST.

DO YOU STILL PLAY WITH THIS, KYLE?

NO. THAT'S FOR LITTLE KIDS.

WHY DO YOU STILL HAVE IT?

'CAUSE IT'S MINE.

I WAS JUST THINKING THAT THERE'S LOTS OF KIDS

WHO WOULD PROBABLY WANT A TOY LIKE THIS,

AND IF YOU'RE NOT USING IT,

YOU MIGHT CONSIDER GIVING IT TO SOMEBODY ELSE.

NO.

SANTA WOULD THINK IT'S COOL TO GIVE THAT STUFF AWAY?

I'M SURE.

I HAVE A TON OF STUFF

THAT I HAVEN'T PLAYED WITH IN YEARS AND YEARS.

DO YOU WRITE TO SANTA AT CHRISTMAS?

I USED TO, BUT...

I STOPPED BECAUSE HE WOULDN'T ANSWER

AND I GREW OUT OF IT.

BESIDES, THERE'S NO SANTA, ANYWAY.

USED TO MAKE ME FEEL CLOSE TO MY MOM.

SHE LOVED CHRISTMAS.

MAYBE SANTA WOULD ANSWER IF YOU KEPT TRYING.

HE TRIES VERY HARD

TO GIVE TO THOSE WHO DESERVE.

THESE WOULD'VE GONE TO SANTA'S MAIL ROOM.

I HAPPEN TO KNOW SOMEBODY WHO WORKS THERE.

KYLE SAYS THE POST OFFICE JUST PUTS THEM IN A BAG

AND THROWS THEM OUT.

BRITTANY, LETTERS SENT FROM PEOPLE

THAT SHOULD GET TO SANTA

ALWAYS GET TO SANTA.

I'VE GOT TO GET THIS RECIPE.

THIS IS GREAT.

YOU DO THIS EVERY NIGHT?

SHARING THE BEST WE HAVE IS ALL PART OF CHRISTMAS.

THAT EXPLAINS WHY SANTA'S GOT THAT GUT.

MUST EAT LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME.

IT'S HIS METABOLISM.

AND HE DOES LIKE COOKIES AND MILK.

I MEAN, REALLY. HE WON'T STOP.

COOKIES AND MILK, MILK AND COOKIES.

WELL, LET ME GET SOME MORE VEGETABLES.

SHE'S GOT, LIKE, A CHRISTMAS DISEASE.

HELLO, EVERYBODY.

YOU'RE HOME EARLY.

WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

WHO SAYS YOU DID?

HI. HONEY. YOU FORGOT THIS IN THE CAR.

HI, KRISTEN.

UH, THIS IS HARLEY JENKINS, MY BUSINESS PARTNER.

THIS IS-- THIS IS KRISTEN.

SHE'S OUR NEW AU PAIR.

OH.

IT'S WONDERFUL TO MEET YOU.

PLEASE SIT DOWN.

WE'VE ONLY JUST BEGUN.

OK.

Bill: HERE WE GO.

LOOKS LIKE ANOTHER CHRISTMAS DINNER.

KRISTEN SAYS EVERY DAY SHOULD BE LIKE CHRISTMAS.

OH, WELL, WHAT A LOVELY THOUGHT,

BUT WHEN WOULD PEOPLE WORK?

WHAT I MEANT WAS THAT PEOPLE

SHOULD BE GENEROUS AND GIVING EVERY DAY,

NOT JUST ON CHRISTMAS.

YEAH, I GUESS EVERYBODY WOULD GET PRETTY TIRED

OF GETTING PRESENTS EVERY DAY ANYWAY.

WORTH A TRY, THOUGH, HUH, DAD?

ACTUALLY, WE HAVE A LITTLE ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

HARLEY JENKINS.

OH! OH, YES. WELL, YES, I DID SEND IT.

BILL, WAS THERE SOMETHING YOU WANTED TO TELL US?

UH...

NO. NO. THERE WASN'T.

BILL, I HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE OFFICE.

THE SPREADSHEETS DIDN'T GET TO LING.

WHAT TIME IS IT THERE?

I'LL CALL YOU LATER.

[TYPES ON KEYBOARD]

HERE'S ONE. WE HAVE AN AU PAIR

WHO THINKS SHE'S SANTA CLAUS.

CHRISTMAS EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME.

HEY, KYLE.

MAN, I'VE NOT SEEN THIS ROOM

SO PICKED UP IN, I DON'T KNOW.

WHOA. THERE'S CARPET IN HERE.

YEAH. KRISTEN LIKES THINGS NEAT,

YOU KNOW, FOR SANTA.

FOR SANTA.

OK. WELL...

HEY, LOOKS GOOD.

Kyle: IT'S DISGUSTING!

HER NAME IS KRISTEN.

[EVIL SNICKERING] THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN.

UH-OH.

THIS MIGHT BE THE SAME WOMAN

WE'VE HAD COMPLAINTS ABOUT BEFORE.

YOU COULD BE IN DANGER.

SHE'S CHRISTMAS CRAZY.

IF SHE TELLS YOU YOU SHOULD GIVE AWAY YOUR OLD TOYS,

THAT'S THE FIRST SIGN.

PRETTY SOON SHE'LL WANT YOU TO GIVE AWAY

EVERYTHING YOU HAVE...

ALL IN THE NAME OF CHRISTMAS.

ASK HER ONE QUESTION:

WHAT IS YOUR LAST NAME?

IF SHE ANSWERS "CLAUS,"

GET RID OF HER.

THIS COULD BE SERIOUS.

THIS WEB SITE IS ONE OF MY BEST IDEAS EVER.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I DIDN'T MEAN TO WAKE YOU.

NO, IT'S OK.

I WANT TO KNOW YOUR OPINION.

I THINK THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL...

EYE-CATCHING...

CLEVER.

I'M VERY GLAD I ASKED.

HEY.

LET ME, UM--LET ME SHOW YOU HOW THEY WORK.

THIS IS CALLED DEFINITION RELATION.

"TRIUMPH STARTS WITH TRY."

WE RELATE "TRIUMPH" WITH REDROCK.

"TRIUMPH STARTS WITH TRY."

I LOVE THAT.

AND THIS ONE...

SEE "REDROCK FOR THE ENDURING FAMILY."

THE FAMILY ENDURES. THE CLOTHES ENDURE.

YOU SHOULD BE VERY PROUD OF WHAT YOU'VE CREATED.

YOU KNOW, I USED TO WORK AT THIS HUGE COMPANY.

I WAS A VICE PRESIDENT.

I THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT I WANT,

AND THEN, UH, THEN JANE DIED,

AND NONE OF THAT REALLY MATTERED ANYMORE.

AND THEN A FEW YEARS AGO

HARLEY ASKED ME TO PARTNER WITH HER IN THIS COMPANY,

AND IT WAS A STRUGGLE. I MEAN WE STARTED OUT--

WE HAD 2 COFFEE CUPS AND A PAPER CLIP,

BUT WE'RE DOING OK NOW.

AND THEN WITH REDROCK...

WE COULD REALLY ACHIEVE SOMETHING.

I HOPE YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT.

GOOD NIGHT.

NIGHT.

NO. NO.

GO BACK TO BRITTANY'S ROOM.

IF YOU INSIST.

I AM IN CHARGE OF THE MAIL ROOM.

"DEAR SANTA,

"WE LOST OUR MOM THIS YEAR, SO COULD YOU FIND HER

"AND MAKE HER OUR GIFT FOR CHRISTMAS?

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO WRAP HER OR ANYTHING.

"JUST PUT HER UNDER THE TREE AND WE'LL FIND HER,

"AND SHE COULD MAKE HER SPECIAL PANCAKES

LIKE SHE USED TO."

[SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING]

SO HOW IS IT GOING?

GOOD.

VERY GOOD, ACTUALLY.

THE WHOLE NORTH POLE CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

THE MORGANS AREN'T BACK ON THE LIST?

NO.

WELL, SINCE I GOT HERE,

THEY'VE BEEN BEHAVING FINE.

MAYBE THEIR NAMES' BEING OFF THE LIST

WAS A MISTAKE.

WELL, THEY CAN'T GET BACK ON THE LIST

UNLESS THERE'S REAL HOPE IN THEIR HEART FOR CHANGE,

AND SO FAR THEY'RE NOT ON THE LIST,

SO WHAT DOES THAT TELL YOU?

I'M PLANNING A LOT OF CHRISTMASSY THINGS TOMORROW.

I DON'T KNOW.

MAYBE THAT'LL MAKE THEM REMEMBER

WHAT CHRISTMAS WAS LIKE BEFORE THEY LOST THEIR MOM.

WELL, RUDOLFA...

SHE'S BETTING THAT YOU WON'T MAKE IT.

I'VE NEVER FAILED.

YOU KNOW, THE MORTALS ARE INTERESTING.

HMM, NOT THE ONES I SEE.

THOSE LITTLE BOYS JUST DROOLING ON THEIR PILLOWS.

OH, PLEASE.

THEY WANT SO MUCH, AND THEY WORK SO HARD.

ALL THEY WANT IS MONEY.

NO. THEY WANT TO MAKE THEMSELVES BETTER.

THEY'RE STRIVING TO DO BETTER.

AND WITH THE NORTH POLE,

EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS MAGICAL AND WONDERFUL.

IT'S SO EASY. WE NEVER SAY,

"I CAN DO BETTER. I CAN BEBETTER."

NEVER FEEL LOSS. NEVER STRUGGLE, CHANGE.

WELL, SOMETHING'S GONNA CHANGE

IF THE MORGANS DON'T GET BACK ON THAT LIST.

THAT'S NOT GONNA BE AS EASY AS YOU THINK IT IS.

I WON'T FAIL.

IT'S GONNA BE LIKE PULLING TEETH.

♪ O COME ALL YE FAITHFUL ♪

♪ JOYFUL AND TRIUMPHANT... ♪

THIS IS CHRISTMAS-- GIVING.

DOESN'T IT FEEL GOOD? I'LL BET WE COULD FIND

A LOT MORE OF YOUR TOYS TO GIVE AWAY.

THANK YOU.

[JINGLE BELLSPLAYING]

WHOA.

Boy: OUT OF THE WAY, MISTER!

WHOA!

THAT'S IT, JOHNNY.

THERE YOU GO.

I'VE NEVER HAD A TEACHER LIKE YOU BEFORE.

COME ON.

HEY, OW!

SORRY.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT.

YOU KIDDING?

THAT WAS THE FIRST BAD THING I'VE DONE IN DAYS.

I WAS GETTING THE SHAKES.

ANYWAY, IF SHE'S WHO THE WEB SITE SAYS SHE IS,

SHE HAS TO GO, AND QUICK.

BUT IT'S OK. I'VE GOT THE PLAN TO GET RID OF HER,

AND DAD CAN'T BLAME US AT ALL.

WHAT IS IT?

JUST FOLLOW ME.

YOU DID REALLY WELL.

JUST KEEP PRACTICING, AND THE NEXT TIME--

I WAS JUST WONDERING--

YOU ARE OUR AU PAIR AND EVERYTHING,

AND WE DON'T KNOW YOUR LAST NAME.

OH, I'M SORRY. IT'S CLAUS.

AS IN SANTA CLAUS?

EXACTLY.

Kyle: HEY, I DIDN'T KNOW

THEY HAD A CHRISTMAS TREE LOT HERE.

YOU GUYS DON'T HAVE A TREE AT HOME YET.

WHY DON'T WE GET ONE?

GET A CHRISTMAS TREE?!

OF COURSE. IT'S CHRISTMAS.

COME ON.

NOW, THIS HAPPENS TO BE ONE OF MY SPECIALTIES.

HOW DID I KNOW?

NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY IT,

BUT IT'S NICE HAVING ANOTHER WOMAN

IN THE HOUSE TO SHARE THE BURDEN.

Johnny: PSST.

THERE'S AT LEAST 10 LISTINGS HERE

FOR THE NAME CLAUS.

DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING.

I'M TELLING YOU, SHE--

Bill: HELLO, EVERYBODY.

I'M HOME.

WHAT IS THIS?

IT'S A CHRISTMAS TREE.

EVERYBODY KNOWS WE DON'T ALLOW

A CHRISTMAS TREE ON CHRISTMAS.

IS THERE A BETTER TIME TO HAVE ONE?

THERE'S NEVER A BETTER TIME TO HAVE ONE HERE.

MAY I ASK WHY?

YOU MAY NOT ASK WHY, SO DON'T.

JOHNNY, GET THIS THING OUT OF HERE.

BILL, JANE'S BEEN GONE A LONG TIME.

GREAT. YOU SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?

I AM SO SORRY.

ALL RIGHT, LOOK, I JUST WANT EVERYBODY

TO GO TO THEIR ROOMS, OK? NOW.

Bill: EVERYBODY.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[KYLE, WHISPERING] This one was certifiable.

She was going to give away everything we've got.

Man, it was the perfect sting.

Dad's sure to get rid of her now.

Brittany: Yeah, for sure.

Kyle: Hey, we're in this together, right?

Nobody comes in here and takes the place of Mom.

I know.

You even had me almost believing you liked her.

Yeah. I should get an Oscar.

It's amazing how she fell for it,

but the important thing is

we've held out long enough

for Dad to get the presents,

and with the big meeting coming up,

there's no way he can take 'em back.

IT'S BEEN 5 YEARS.

SHE WAS MY SISTER. SHE WAS YOUR WIFE.

WE ALL LOVED HER, BUT WE HAVE TO MOVE ON.

YOU THINK SHE WOULDN'T WANT US TO HAVE A TREE?

SO WHEN KRISTEN SUGGESTED IT,

I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA.

NO, HERE'S A GOOD IDEA-- GET A JOB.

I'M IN THE SAME BUSINESS AS YOU--

ADVERTISING.

JOHNNY, SELLING SPACE TO WHOEVER ON YOUR CAR

IS NOT BEING IN ADVERTISING.

LOOK, JOHNNY, AFTER THE HOLIDAYS,

I--I WANT YOU OUT.

KRISTEN, UM...

I--I SHOULDN'T HAVE, UH...

LOOK, CHRISTMAS IS...

WASA VERY SPECIAL TIME FOR ALL OF US,

YOU KNOW, WHEN JANE WAS ALIVE,

AND THE TREE--

THAT WAS HER--

THAT WAS HER THING, AND SO WHEN SHE DIED,

I JUST DECIDED, WELL,

WE'RE JUST NOT GONNA HAVE ONE ANYMORE,

AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.

LOOK, THE POINT IS I...

KRISTEN?

Rudolfa: SOMETHING WRONG, MISS PERFECT?

DON'T TELL ME I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE MORTALS.

WHAT'S THIS?

WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE? IT'S MY NEW SLEIGH.

IT'S ALL READY FOR A TEST RUN, RUDOLFA, DEAR.

Kristen: YOUR SLEIGH?

IT'S GOING TO BE THE NEW AND IMPROVED CHRISTMAS.

IT'S ABOUT TIME. THE WHOLE THING WAS SO OLD.

IT'S TIME FOR CHRISTMAS TO GET ON TO THE NEXT LEVEL.

WHICH IS WHAT?

CHRISTMAS FOOL'S DAY.

IT'S A COMBINATION OF CHRISTMAS AND APRIL FOOL'S.

YOU GIVE EVERYONE PRANK GIFTS,

LIKE ANTI-GIFTS.

YOU KNOW, YOU GIVE A GIFT THAT GETS SOMEONE--

WHOOPEE CUSHIONS, HAND BUZZERS,

ICKY-POO IN THE SHOE.

I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.

IT'S GOING TO BE THE FIRST EVER

JUST KIDDING CHRISTMAS.

WAIT A MINUTE!

[SLEIGH ENGINE STARTS]

IF SANTA'S NOT GOING, I AM.

I'M THE ELDEST, SO YOU STAY OUT OF THE WAY.

RUDOLFA!

[SANTA HUMS]

Santa: ENTER!

DAD, DO YOU KNOW WHAT RUDOLFA IS--

OH, KRISTEN!

YOU'RE BACK!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

OH, I'M GOING TO HAWAII FOR CHRISTMAS

LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

THEY'RE A PRESENT FROM RUDOLFA.

BUT WHAT ABOUT CHRISTMAS?

AH, CHRISTMAS DOESN'T NEED SANTA.

Mrs. Claus: THESE WORKED OUT JUST FINE, DEAR.

OOH, PERFECT!

MOTHER, YOU'RE CONDONING THIS?!

OH, EVERYONE NEEDS A VACATION.

YOUR FATHER'S BEEN DOING THIS FOREVER

LITERALLY.

SANTA HAS TO DELIVER PRESENTS

TO THOSE WHO DESERVE. THE WORLD DEPENDS ON IT.

ALL THOSE CHILDREN WILL WAKE UP

ON CHRISTMAS MORNING WITH NOTHING UNDER THEIR TREE.

THEY'LL BE SO DISAPPOINTED,

THEY'LL STOP BELIEVING IN THEIR WISHES.

YOU THINK THERE'S NOT ENOUGH GOODNESS IN THE WORLD NOW?

WAIT UNTIL THE ONES WHO DESERVE THEIR GIFTS

DON'T GET THEM.

A DEAL IS A DEAL.

JUST BECAUSE I COULDN'T GET

A COUPLE OF SELFISH, SPOILED KIDS TO BEHAVE

DOESN'T MEAN THE REST OF THE WORLD HAS TO SUFFER.

WE CAN'T LET RUDOLFA DO THIS.

JUST BECAUSE SHE'S OLDER?

WHERE IS IT WRITTEN THAT JUST BECAUSE--

ACTUALLY, THIS IS WHAT IS WRITTEN.

DO YOU REMEMBER THIS, DEAR?

"SUCH A PERSON AS SANTA CLAUS

"SHALL DELIVER TO THOSE WHOSE GOODNESS

"MAKES THEM DESERVING GIFTS ON CHRISTMAS EVE.

"IF HE ABDICATES HIS DUTIES,

"A SUCCESSOR WHO CAN PERFORM ALL OF SANTA'S TASKS

"MAY ASCEND TO THE POST.

"IF NO ONE CAN BE FOUND,

THEN THE TRADITION WILL BE NO MORE."

WAIT, YOU MEAN RUDOLFA CAN TAKE OVER CHRISTMAS?

WELL, CHRISTMAS ISN'T ALL MILK AND COOKIES.

FACE IT. I HAVE.

KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

THINK ABOUT IT. ANYWAY...

"A SUCCESSOR WHO CAN PERFORM ALL OF SANTA'S TASKS"?

BUT, DAD, NOBODY CAN DO WHAT YOU DO.

I HAVE TO CATCH A WAVE!

MOM, ISN'T THERE ANYONE ELSE WHO CAN TAKE OVER FOR SANTA?

PEOPLE DO ALL KINDS OF THINGS IF THEY HAVE TO, DEAR.

ALOHA!

[DOOR CLOSES]

HEY, THERE. HOW YOU DOING?

HEY, GUYS.

WOW. YOU LOOK SO GOOD.

SO YOU GUYS WILLING TO GIVE ME A TRY?

GIDDY-UP.

ON, CUPID, ON, RUDOLPH!

ON, COMET, DONNER.

SLOW DOWN, RUDOLPH.

Kristen: WHOA! RUDOLPH!

SLOW DOWN! GONNA GET YOU!

RUDOLFA! AAAH!

OOH! OOH, BYE-BYE.

[SCREAMING]

[CRASH]

I EXPECTED A LITTLE COOPERATION.

WAIT A MINUTE. DID RUDOLFA GET TO YOU?

RUDOLPH!

NO WONDER THEY NAMED HER AFTER YOU.

[CLOCK TICKING]

[GEARS TURNING]

DAD NEVER SHOWED ME THIS.

OF COURSE.

HOW ELSE CAN HE DO ALL THAT ON CHRISTMAS EVE?

HE FREEZES TIME.

I'M NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO FIGURE THIS OUT

IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS.

TIME FREEZING:

THEORY AND PRACTICE.

"HEREBY MINUTE TO MINUTE, THE TIME IS LOCKED.

THIRTY MINUTES PERMITTED ON THE TIME FREEZE CLOCK."

WHAT ARE YOU READING?

OH, I-- I DON'T KNOW, REALLY.

I WAS GONNA TAKE OVER FOR SANTA THIS YEAR,

BUT I GUESS THE TRUTH IS

NOBODY CAN TAKE HIS PLACE.

I WAS SURE I COULD MAKE THE MORGANS

BE A GIVING FAMILY JUST BY SHOWING THEM

WHAT IT IS TO BE GIVING,

BUT I--

I FAILED.

I DIDN'T KNOW HOW HARD--

NOT EVERYTHING IS EASY, NOT EVEN FOR YOU.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

WELL, THERE'S ONLY ONE THING TO DO.

YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE.

YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT WORK WITH THE MORGANS.

THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE, TOO.

OH, I GUESS THERE WON'T BE A CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR.

THERE HAS TO BE A CHRISTMAS.

THEN THE ONLY CHRISTMAS TO BE

IS RUDOLFA'S JUST KIDDING CHRISTMAS.

OH, PLEASE DON'T LET THAT HAPPEN!

OH, PLEASE! OH, PLEASE!

YOU'RE RIGHT.

I'M ALWAYS RIGHT.

THAT'S WHY I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO FIND A MAN YET.

"TRIUMPH STARTS WITH TRY."

I HAVE TO TRY HARDER WITH THE MORGANS.

NO KIDDING, BUT HOW?

THEY'RE TOUGH.

CHRISTMAS IS NOT ALL MILK AND COOKIES.

I HAVE TO BE TOUGH, TOO, TOUGHER THAN THEY ARE.

YOU TOUGH?

OH, PLEASE.

I'VE SEEN A LOT, BUT I AIN'T SEEN THAT.

WHY DO WE HAVE TO GO?

BECAUSE THE AU PAIR SERVICE IS CLOSED FOR THE HOLIDAYS,

AND I CAN'T LEAVE YOU HERE WITH YOUR UNCLE JOHNNY.

HE'S WORSE THAN YOU TWO ARE.

SO EVERYBODY COMES WITH ME.

WE'RE SPENDING CHRISTMAS IN A HOTEL?

WE'RE GONNA BE BACK BY THEN, BRITTANY.

YOU'RE GONNA GET YOUR CHRISTMAS PRESENTS--

THAT'S WHAT YOU CARE ABOUT, RIGHT?--ANYWAY.

OK, GUYS. HERE'S THE DRILL.

IT'S GONNA TAKE US ABOUT 7 HOURS TO GET TO THE HOTEL.

NOW, YOUR UNCLE JOHNNY

WILL ATTEMPT TO TAKE CARE OF YOU FOR ONE EVENING

WITHOUT ALL OF US GETTING THROWN OUT OF THE HOTEL

BEFORE I CAN MAKE THE PRESENTATION WITH HARLEY.

OK?

EVERYBODY GOT THAT?

HARLEY, HI. IT'S ME.

YEAH, WE, UH, WE GOT A LATE START.

YEAH, WE. I TOLD YOU THE AU PAIR QUIT.

FLY? MY KIDS HAVE BEEN BANNED

BY EVERY MAJOR AIRLINE, SO...

JUST GET HERE AND MAKE SURE YOU HAVE THE PRESENTATION.

NO, I'VE GOT THE PRESENTATION. I'VE GOT THE FLIP CHART,

THE GIFTS FOR REDROCK, YEAH. GOT IT.

YEAH, I'LL BE THERE.

I MISS YOU.

YEAH, ME, TOO. BYE.BILL--

BILL!

OK, ORDER UP. LET'S GET BACK ON THE ROAD.

MAYBE I'LL JUST ASK THEM

TO GRIND UP A CHEESEBURGER IN A CUP

AND I'LL DRINK IT WHILE WE'RE MOVING.

YOU KNOW, KYLE, I REALLY DON'T NEED THAT RIGHT NOW.

YOU DON'T NEED ANYTHING EVER.

JUST DON'T START.

Bill: IS THAT KRISTEN?

DAD, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

Bill: I'M GONNA ASK HER TO COME BACK.

NO, DAD. NO. SHE'S CRAZY...

CHRISTMAS CRAZY.

HER WHOLE NAME IS KRISTEN CLAUS--

LIKE IN "SANTA CLAUS."

DAD, SHE'S DANGEROUS.

OK, SO I WON'T GIVE HER ANY SHARP OBJECTS.

ORDER TO GO.

KRISTEN.

HELLO, BILL.

WHOA! HOW'S THIS FOR A COINCIDENCE, HUH?

YOU KNOW, WE LOOKED FOR YOU

AFTER YOU LEFT, AND YOU KINDA DISAPPEARED.

I KNOW, BUT HERE I AM.

YEAH, YEAH.

UM, YOU KNOW,

I'VE GOT THAT PRESENTATION IN SEATTLE,

AND I HAD TO BRING JOHNNY AND THE KIDS WITH ME,

SO, UH, SO--SO THE HOUSE

WILL BE THERE WHEN I GOT BACK.

AHH.

YEAH.

YOU KNOW, THIS IS A KINDA CRAZY IDEA, BUT...

MAYBE YOU COULD COME WITH US?

YOU KNOW, I'D GET YOU A HOTEL ROOM,

AND YOU COULD HELP JOHNNY?

THAT IS CRAZY.

YEAH, UM, KRISTEN,

IT WOULD REALLY, REALLY HELP ME OUT.

YOU KNOW, I COULD CONCENTRATE ON THE MEETING

AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY

ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON AT THE HOTEL,

AND...ALSO, I...

REALLY WANTED TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU

ABOUT THE WAY I SPOKE TO YOU

THE LAST TIME WE SAW EACH OTHER.

I'M SORRY.

OK. THERE'S JUST SOMETHING YOU SHOULD KNOW.

YEAH?

WITH ME AND THE CHILDREN,

IT'S NOT GONNA BE ALL MILK AND COOKIES.

YEAH. OK. WHATEVER IT TAKES.

THANK YOU. THERE'S A LOT AT STAKE HERE.

[WHISPERING] You have no idea.

WHAT?

UH, FIRST OF ALL, IT WASN'T MY FAULT.

AND SECOND, WE GOT A FLAT.

OK. EXCUSE ME.

OH!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M GONNA CALL THE AUTO CLUB.

OH, COME ON.

I CAN CHANGE THIS FLAT IN 5 MINUTES.

IT'LL TAKE THEM AN HOUR TO GET HERE,

WHEREVER "HERE" IS.

YOU THINK YOU CAN?

NO PROBLEM.

OK.

HI. IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU GUYS.

I KNOW WHAT YOU TWO WERE DOING.

MEANING WHAT?

MEANING YOU WERE JUST PRETENDING TO HAVE MANNERS

AND ACT RIGHT FOR THE PRESENTS.

YOU DIDN'T REALLY MEAN IT.

SO I WANT YOU TO KNOW I DON'T APPRECIATE IT,

AND SOMETHING WE USED TO HAVE

WE DON'T HAVE ANYMORE--

A VERY PRECIOUS THING.

WHAT? WE ALREADY KNOW

WHAT WE'RE GETTING FOR CHRISTMAS.

IT'S NOTHING LIKE THAT.

IT'S TRUST.

IT'S A GIFT I GAVE YOU BEFORE.

NOW IT'S A GIFT YOU'LL HAVE TO EARN.

LIKE WE CARE.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO START.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO STOP.

YOU GUYS THINK YOU'RE TOUGH, DON'T YOU?

YOU SCARED AWAY ALL THE OTHERS.

COME ON, BRITTANY.

OK, OK. NO, HARLEY,

I'M TELLING YOU, HE FIXED IT.

NO, HE REALLY DID. I GOT TO PUT THIS THING ON

AND WE'LL BE ON OUR WAY. ALL RIGHT?

OK. BYE.

Johnny: PUT ON THE HUBCAP AND I'LL LOWER THE JACK.

Harley: B-B-BILL! DON'T HANG UP, BILL!

Bill: NO, WAIT!

Harley: BILL? BILL, ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME--

OOPS.

OOPS? NO, NO, NO.

NO. "OOPS" DOESN'T COVER THIS ONE, JOHNNY.

"PLEASE, GOD, NO" MAYBE.

BUT NOT "OOPS."

HERE YOU GO.

THANK YOU.

OH, YEAH. YES!

YES, MM-HMM. MORE. MM-HMM.

[WHOOPEE CUSHION FARTS]

DUNDER.

YES, SWEETNESS?

WE HAVE TO GO AMONG THE MORTALS.

COME WITH ME.

[ELF LAUGHING]

OK, IF ANYBODY SEES A GAS STATION, YELL.

GAS STATION?

WE HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING FOR AN HOUR.

YEAH, AND THAT'S WHY I'M SURE THAT SOMETHING

IS PROBABLY JUST AHEAD,

BECAUSE HOW LONG CAN YOU GO

WITHOUT SEEING ANYTHING? RIGHT?

[MUMBLING] LIKE A CAR...

OR A PHONE BOOTH.

I'M SURE WE'LL BE FINE.

[WOLF HOWLING]

NOTHING TO IT.

WHAT'S NEXT?

OH, JUST A FEW MORE THINGS

FROM MY LITTLE BAG OF TRICKS.

NOW WHERE ARE WE GOING?

WHEN ARE WE GONNA BE THERE?

GUYS, IT'S JUST A DETOUR. IT'S PROBABLY A SHORT CUT.

WE'LL BE BACK ON THE HIGHWAY SOON.

I HOPE.

AND I THINK IT'S TIME WE TURN UP THE HEAT.

WHATEVER YOU SAY, DARLING.

"DARLING"? DUNDER,

I KNOW YOU CAN'T THINK THAT YOU AND--

ME AND YOU.

I CAN'T THINK WHEN I'M AROUND YOU.

YOUR HANDS,

YOUR EYES, THE WAY YOUR MOUTH'S

ALWAYS TURNED DOWN.

OH! SHH!

ALL RIGHT, GET OUT THERE

AND ACT LIKE A DEER.

GO.

HOW DOES A DEER ACT?

GET OUT THERE!

RUDOLFA!

RUDOLFA!

HELP!

RUDOLFA!

Johnny: KIDS, HOLD ON!

All: UHH!

ARE YOU OKAY?

Johnny: IS EVERYBODY ALL RIGHT?

Kristen: WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

THE DEER. I HAD TO SWERVE

TO AVOID THE-- THE DEER.

DIDN'T YOU SEE-- DID YOU SEE IT?

All: NO.

ALL RIGHT. OK, OK. WE'RE OK.

WE'RE OK. LET'S JUST GET OUT OF THE CAR.

EVERYBODY GO-- GO THAT WAY.

Johnny: GO AHEAD, GO AHEAD.

NOW TAKE YOUR TIME, SWEETHEART.

Bill: COME ON, YOU GUYS. IT'S OK.

IT'S OK.

[GRUNTS]

WHEW.

OH, MAN.

Kyle: WAY TO GO, DAD. GREAT DRIVING.

Brittany: ARE WE GONNA DIE?

NO, NO. WE'RE NOT GONNA DIE.

WHEW. WELL, LOOKS LIKE

OUR WORK HERE IS DONE.

[WHISPERS] Here we go.

Bill: WE'RE GONNA THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE.

IS THAT A HOUSE OVER THERE?

Brittany: I'M SO COLD.

LET'S JUST HOPE THEY HAVE A PHONE.

I GOT TO GET TO SEATTLE.

GUYS, COME ON. FOLLOW ME.

[WOLF HOWLS]

Kyle: WAY TO GO.

Brittany: YOU BROKE IT, DAD.

Bill: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

I SAW THAT.

OK, GUYS, COME ON IN.

EVERYBODY, COME ON. BE CAREFUL.

COME ON, BRIT. YOU, UH, WAIT HERE, OK?

WITH YOUR UNCLE JOHNNY, PLEASE.

WE'RE GONNA GO SCOUT...

THERE.

OH, AND, UM, AND LOOK FOR A PHONE. OK?

[FARTS]

HEY, HEY. LOOK WHAT I FOUND.

LET THERE BE LIGHT.

Bill: ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY. LISTEN UP.

Kristen: IF WE WORK TOGETHER,

WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER GET THROUGH THIS.

IS THERE ANYTHING TO EAT?

I SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT MY OTHER SWEATER.

I SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT MY BLENDER.

THAT MACHINE CAN DO ANYTHING.

I THINK WE NEED TO MAKE SOME RULES.

WHO MADE YOU KING?

KYLE, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS?

Kristen: ANYONE WHO WANTS TO EAT...WORKS.

IF YOU DON'T PUT IN, YOU DON'T TAKE OUT.

WE'RE GETTING TAKE-OUT?

NO. NO, WE'RE NOT GETTING TAKE-OUT.

NOW WE NEED VOLUNTEERS TO GO TO THE CAR

AND GET THE BAGS

AND ANYTHING ELSE THAT WE MIGHT BE ABLE TO USE.

Kristen: OK, I'M GOING.

OK. I'M GOING, TOO.

IT'S A BLUFF.

I'VE STILL GOT TO GET TO A BUSINESS MEETING.

NO WONDER YOUR KIDS ARE THIS WAY.

WHAT?

WHOA. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

MAYBE IT'S ESCAPED YOUR ATTENTION,

BUT YOU HAVE A FEW PROBLEMS HERE.

IT'S COLD, THERE'S NO FOOD,

NO TRANSPORTATION,

AND WHAT ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT?

YOUR BUSINESS MEETING.

YEAH, KRISTEN, THIS MEETING IS IMPORTANT

TO THE FUTURE OF MY FAMILY.

YOU USE THAT EXCUSE

SO YOU WON'T HAVE TO CONFRONT

THE FACT THAT YOUR KIDS

ARE OUT OF CONTROL

BECAUSE YOU AREN'T HOME ENOUGH

TO BE A FATHER TO THEM.

OK, LOOK. I DO THE BEST I CAN.

NO.

NO, YOU HIRE THE BEST YOU CAN

TO TAKE CARE OF THEM.

YOU BUY THE BEST YOU CAN TO AMUSE THEM,

BUT WHERE ARE YOU? AT WORK.

KRISTEN.

MY WORK IS IMPORTANT TO ALL OF US.

BEING A DAD IS IMPORTANT FOR ALL OF US.

I'M COLD.

WHEW!

OH...

[ENGINE STALLING]

I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU WERE RIGHT.

ABOUT ME HIDING IN MY WORK.

WELL, IT'S NEVER TOO LATE FOR A FATHER TO BE A DAD.

YEAH. WELL, UM...

LET'S GET THE BAGS.

HERE YOU GO.

THANKS.

NO. YOU KNOW, IF THE KIDS

WANT THEIR BAGS, THEY KNOW WHERE THEY ARE.

[SIGHS]

HEY, WHERE'S OUR STUFF?

IT'S RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT IT.

LET'S MAKE A FIRE. WHO WANTS TO HELP?

Johnny: I SAW SOME MORE BROKEN BOARDS WE COULD BURN.

GREAT. YOU GET THOSE.

I'M GONNA GO CHECK THE BASEMENT

AND SEE IF THERE'S ANYTHING WE CAN USE THERE.

[LAUGHING] WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

WATCH YOUR STEP.

ARE YOU OK? YEAH, YEAH.

WOW.

WOW.

WHEW.

[COUGHS]

HEY, LOOK AT THIS.

WHAT?

MY MOM MAKES THIS STUFF.

THINK IT'S ANY GOOD?

YEAH.

SEAL'S NOT BROKEN.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I THINK IT'S GOOD.

LET'S EAT.

WE'LL BE FINE HERE TONIGHT, AND THEN TOMORROW

WE'LL FIND A WAY OUT.

MMM. THESE ARE GOOD.

THAT'S NOT VERY NICE.

MMM. THERE'S A FLASHLIGHT HERE.

THERE'S MORE PRESERVES IN THE BASEMENT.

THAT ISN'T VERY NICE.

YOU SHOULD BE SHARING.

THAT'S THE NICE THING TO DO.

YOU KNOW WHAT WE ARE SHARING?

WE'RE SHARING RESPONSIBILITY,

AND YOU'RE WELCOME TO ALL THE RESPONSIBILITY YOU WANT.

AHEM. I'M GONNA GO LOOK IN THE BASEMENT.

I'M NOT GOING DOWN THERE.

ME NEITHER.

Kristen: I HAVE A FEELING

WE'RE GONNA BE HERE A WHILE.

YOU GUYS ARE GONNA GET HUNGRY.

[SNORING]

KYLE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M GONNA FIND SOMETHING TO EAT.

DON'T KNOW WHY THEY DIDN'T BRING UP MORE.

MAYBE THEY'RE TRYING TO TEACH US A LESSON.

MAYBE WE SHOULD LEARN IT.

HEY, LOOK AT THIS.

WHAT?

YOU PROBABLY DON'T REMEMBER.

MOM?

MOM USED TO READ IT TO US

ON CHRISTMAS EVE A LONG TIME AGO.

I REMEMBER.

YOU WERE 3.

5, AND I HAVE A GOOD MEMORY.

WHAT WAS IT SHE USED TO SAY?

"YOU GET ALL THAT YOU GIVE."

YEAH. "YOU GET ALL THAT YOU GIVE."

I DON'T KNOW WHY MOM HAD TO DIE.

ME, NEITHER.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING?

DAD NEITHER.

REALLY?

NO. I ASKED HIM ONE TIME.

HE SAID HE DIDN'T KNOW AND WENT BACK TO WORK.

DO YOU THINK MOM WATCHES OVER US?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

LIKE AT DINNER, AT HOME.

KRISTEN SAID,

"AND THANKS TO THOSE WATCHING OVER US."

I MEAN, DO YOU THINK MOM SEES WHAT WE'RE DOING?

[IRRITATED] I DON'T KNOW.

I'VE BEEN THINKING, IF SHE DOES, I WANT HER

TO BE PROUD OF HOW WE ARE.

REMEMBER I WROTE TO SANTA A LONG TIME AGO

AND ASKED HIM TO BRING BACK MOM?

AND YOU TOLD ME NOT TO SEND IT.

BECAUSE IT WAS STUPID.

WELL, I DIDN'T SEND IT.

BUT WHAT IF SANTA KIND OF GOT IT ANYWAY?

WHAT IF HE SENT HIS OWN DAUGHTER

HERE FOR US? YOU KNOW, KRISTEN.

WHAT?

KRISTEN CLAUS.

WHAT IF SHE'S CHRISTMAS CRAZY

BECAUSE SHE REALLY IS SANTA'S DAUGHTER?

NO, THAT'S CRAZY.

WHAT IF SHE'S SANTA'S ANSWER TO MY LETTER?

THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

THERE'S NO SANTA CLAUS.

I DON'T KNOW IF THERE IS OR NOT.

I KNOW ONE THING: THERE IS KRISTEN.

EVERYONE'S GONNA BE WAKING UP SOON.

I'M GOING TO MAKE THEM BREAKFAST IN BED.

[FAINT SNORING]

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

BREAKFAST IN BED IS SERVED.

SHARE THE RESPONSIBILITY.

HEY, UNCLE JOHNNY.

[SNORTS]

CAN YOU BRING ME DOWN TO THE CAR

TO GET MY BAGS?

YEAH. YEAH, I WAS JUST THINKING

I'D LIKE TO DO THAT.

HMM.

YOU KNOW WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND?

HMM?

MAYBE I SHOULDN'T SAY.

NO.

NO. WHAT?

I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU CAN LOOK SO GOOD

THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING.

Brittany: DEAR SANTA,

FIRST I WANT TO SAY

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BRING ME ANYTHING.

WE'RE HAVING AN UNUSUAL CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR.

FOR ONE THING, I'VE DECIDED TO BEHAVE A LOT BETTER.

AND DAD IS HERE.

IT'S, LIKE, THE MOST WE'VE SEEN HIM IN YEARS.

IT FEELS SPECIAL AND NEW.

I THINK IT'S BECAUSE KRISTEN'S HERE.

AND SUDDENLY WE'RE AT THIS OLD HOUSE

WHERE WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING BUT EACH OTHER.

AND THAT TURNS OUT TO BE EVERYTHING WE NEED.

I JUST WISH KYLE COULD SEE IT.

BUT I'M WORRIED, 'CAUSE HE'S BEEN ACTING BAD

FOR SO LONG, HE MAYBE DOESN'T

KNOW HOW TO BE GOOD ANYMORE.

AND THE OTHER REASON I'M WRITING

IS TO SAY THAT IF I HAVE

ONE MORE CHRISTMAS WISH THIS YEAR,

I'D WANT IT TO BE THAT KRISTEN STAYS WITH US.

I KNOW MOM WOULD WANT US TO BE HAPPY WITH HER.

SOMEHOW WE FEEL LIKE A FAMILY AGAIN.

IT'S KIND OF LIKE I REMEMBER IT.

EXCEPT KYLE WAS WITH US.

AND IT'S SUCH A GOOD FEELING,

I DON'T WANT IT TO GO AWAY,

EVEN WHEN CHRISTMAS IS OVER.

IS THAT ALL RIGHT? COULD YOU CHECK WITH MOM?

LOVE, BRITTANY MORGAN.

P.S. ARE YOU AND KRISTEN RELATED?

IF YOU DON'T SHOW UP TO THIS MEETING,

THEN DON'T BOTHER GETTING THIS MESSAGE

BECAUSE WE WILL HAVE NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME, BILL?

IT WILL BE OVER IF YOU AREN'T HERE!

AND I WILL TAKE THE MEETING WITHOUT YOU.

[CELL PHONE BEEPS]

Bill: AHH!

OK. SO, WHO WANTS TO HELP ME

DECORATE THE CHRISTMAS TREE?

Brittany: KYLE?

KYLE, PLEASE COME IN.

WHAT FOR?

COME ON, KYLE. IT'S TIME FOR THE ANGEL.

IT'S JUST LIKE THINGS USED TO BE.

NO, IT ISN'T.

SHE ISN'T MOM.

SHE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT US.

YOU'RE WRONG, KYLE. SHE DOES CARE.

SHE LOVES US.

YOU'RE DREAMING.

SHE MIGHT LIKE DAD, BUT SHE DOESN'T LIKE US.

Y-YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE, KYLE.

I'M TELLING YOU, SHE DOESN'T CARE.

IT'S YOU WHO DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE...

BUT YOUR OWN SELF.

HEY.

HE'LL COME BACK.

HE WILL, WHEN HE'S READY TO.

HE WON'T GO FAR.

WELL--

BET MOM WOULD HAVE LOVED IT.

YEAH.

ME, TOO.

Johnny: AW, GROUP HUG.

AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

I HAVE A SURPRISE.

DAD, KRISTEN,

COULD YOU STEP OUTSIDE FOR A SECOND

SO WE CAN GET READY?

OK. SURE, SURE.

OK. ALL RIGHT.

KYLE!

KYLE!

THERE HE IS.

Bill: KYLE, COME INSIDE, IT'S--

IT'S TOO COLD OUT HERE.

YOU DON'T NEED ME. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.

MAYBE--MAYBE IT'S BETTER IF WE JUST LET HIM

COME ON HIS OWN TIME.

YEAH.

YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY, KRISTEN.

I, UH...

MY BUSINESS DEAL IS PROBABLY DEAD BY NOW.

HARLEY PROBABLY HATES ME.

AND NONE OF IT SEEMS SO IMPORTANT.

YOU'RE TALENTED.

YOU'LL HAVE OTHER MEETINGS THIS YEAR.

OTHER JOBS.

BUT YOU AND YOUR FAMILY

WILL HAVE THIS CHRISTMAS ONLY ONCE.

IT'S LIKE THIS SNOWFLAKE.

THERE WILL ONLY EVER BE ONE.

THIS CHRISTMAS IS ONE OF A KIND.

IT'S PRECIOUS TIME HERE FOR A MOMENT,

AND THEN GONE,

EXCEPT FOR THOSE WHO SHARE IT TOGETHER.

FOR THEM, THE SHARED MEMORY

IS A PART OF WHO THEY ARE FOREVER AFTER.

YOU BEING WITH YOUR CHILDREN

IS THE GREATEST GIFT YOU HAVE TO GIVE.

JUST YOU.

IT'S THE ONE THEY'VE NEEDED MOST.

WHAT IS IT ABOUT YOU?

ONE DAY, YOU JUST WALK IN MY FRONT DOOR, AND...

AND THE WAY THAT YOU SEE THINGS...

AND THE WAY THAT YOU MAKE ME SEE THINGS

THAT...I KNOW ARE TRUE.

ABOUT HOW I FEEL.

KRISTEN, I NEVER THOUGHT I'D...

FEEL THAT WAY AGAIN.

YOU MAKE ME BELIEVE.

I'M--IS SOMETHING-- SOMETHING WRONG?

NO.

SOMETHING IS RIGHT.

THE SNOW REMINDS ME OF HOME.

YEAH.

WHERE IS THAT?

FAR AWAY.

AHA. YES.

YEAH, THERE ARE THINGS

THAT I DON'T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT, EITHER.

NO, IT'S-- IT'S NOT THAT.

THEN WHAT?

WELL...

DO YOU BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUS?

I WOULD IF YOU TOLD ME TO.

WHAT?

WHAT?

I WAS JUST WONDERING WHAT THE TOOTH FAIRY

WOULD SAY ABOUT THIS.

Brittany: OK, YOU GUYS CAN COME IN!

TAKE YOUR SEATS, PLEASE.

"'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

"WHEN ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE

"NOT A CREATURE WAS STIRRING,

"NOT EVEN A MOUSE.

Johnny: "THE STOCKINGS WERE HUNG

"ON THE CHIMNEY WITH CARE...

"IN HOPES THAT SAINT NICHOLAS

WOULD SOON BE THERE."

HO, HO, HO, HO!

HO, HO, HO.

"THE CHILDREN WERE NESTLED

"ALL SNUG IN THEIR BEDS

"WHILE VISIONS OF SUGARPLUMS

DANCED IN THEIR HEADS."

♪ LA LA LA LA LA LA ♪

[ALL GIGGLE]

"AND MAMA IN HER KERCHIEF

"AND I IN MY CAP

"HAD JUST SETTLED OUR BRAINS

FOR A LONG WINTER'S NAP."

FIRE. FIRE!

Brittany: DADDY!

Bill: KRISTEN, JOHNNY, COME ON! NOW!

Kristen: COME WITH ME. COME ON, LET'S GO.

COME ON. HURRY.

I WANT TO GET MOMMY'S ANGEL!

WHERE'S KYLE?!

WHERE'S KYLE?!

KYLE!

DAD!

Bill: KYLE!

Kristen: WHERE'S BRITTANY?

BRITTANY. BRITTANY!

MOMMY'S ANGEL!

Bill: BRITTANY!

BRITTANY!

BRITTANY!

HONEY, COME HERE!

HOLD ON. HOLD ON TO ME.

MOMMY'S ANGEL!

HOLD ON.

IT'S ALL RIGHT, HONEY.

UHH!

MOMMY'S ANGEL!

Johnny: HERE, I GOT HER.

IT'S OK.

YOU GOT HER?

YEAH, I GOT HER. I GOT HER.

I GOT HER. COME ON.

NO! NO! NO!

NO, BRITTANY, WAIT! NO, NO!

DAD?

DAD?

[GLASS BREAKING]

DAD?

DAD?

DAD! DAD!

ARE YOU OK?

[CHOKING]

Kristen: KYLE!

I'M ALL RIGHT.

MOVE BACK.

AAH! OW!

All: OH!

Brittany: DADDY!

WAIT! WAIT, BRIT! COME ON!

[ALL COUGHING]

MOVE BACK.

Brittany: IT'S KYLE! KYLE!

KYLE'S DEAD!

DEAD! KYLE!

DADDY!

KYLE!

KYLE! KYLE.

OH, MY GOD.

PLEASE BE OK.

KYLE? KYLE?

KRISTEN, DO SOMETHING.

I DON'T KNOW! WAIT.

HEREBY MINUTE TO MINUTE, THE TIME IS LOCKED,

THIRTY MINUTES PERMITTED ON THE TIME FREEZE CLOCK!

[PANTING]

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

KYLE'S DYING.

I HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO SAVE HIM.

THERE'S SO LITTLE TIME.

TOOTH FAIRY, HELP. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

UM, UH, OK.

I--I REMEMBER SOMETHING ONCE.

WHA? ANY--ANYTHING.

OK, UH, THE IMMORTALS CAN TRADE

THEIR IMMORTALITY FOR MORTALITY

JUST TO SAVE SOMEBODY FROM THE BRINK.

THEN THAT'S WHAT I'LL DO.

YOU WOULD GIVE UP YOUR IMMORTALITY?

TO HELP THEM, I'D GIVE ANYTHING.

THAT IS SO BEAUTIFUL.

OH...PLEASE JUST...

TRY AND REMEMBER ME.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WELL, WHEN YOU BECOME MORTAL,

YOU--YOU FORGET WHAT ALL THIS WAS.

NO, NO. I'LL ALWAYS REMEMBER.

OHHH.

[GASPS] OH!

WHAT IS THIS?

IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE, AND YOU LOST.

SO, NOW IT'S GOING TO BE A...

JUST KIDDING CHRISTMAS.

I'M READY, DARLING.

OH, DUNDER, I'M SORRY,

BUT THERE'S ONLY ROOM FOR ONE ON THIS TRIP.

YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO TAKE

A SNOW SHOWER.

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]

WHAT IS THAT?

Tooth fairy: THE LIST!

THE MORGANS ARE BACK ON! COME ON, GIRL.

OH, AH, AH, AH, AH. NO.

YOU STILL LOSE. IT'S TOO LATE.

DAD'S NOT HOME, AND CHRISTMAS EVE IS OVER.

NO. NO, IT ISN'T.

NOT UNTIL THE CHRISTMAS CLOCK CHIMES.

Santa: EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT.

IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS EVE IN HAWAII.

THERE'S STILL TIME.

WE CAN STILL HAVE CHRISTMAS.

YOU DID IT, KRISTEN.

OH, HO!

AND THERE'S A LOT TO DO, RUDOLFA.

COME WITH ME. I HAVE A SPECIAL JOB FOR YOU.

OH, A SPECIAL JOB.

[WHOOPEE CUSHION FARTS]

[LAUGHING]

ARE WE IN TIME?

DAD?

I MADE SURE WE ARE.

THE QUESTION IS...

KRISTEN, ARE YOUSURE?

I KNOW I LOVE HIM.

I LOVE THEM ALL.

THEN YOU'VE FOUND THE GREATEST OF GIFTS.

DID YOU KNOW ALL THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN?

LET'S JUST SAY I HAVE A TALENT

FOR MAKING SURE THAT PEOPLE WHO DESERVE

GET THE GIFTS THAT ARE BEST FOR THEM.

[CHUCKLES]

WHAT DO I DO?

WITHIN EVERY IMMORTAL

IS THE GIFT OF HEALING,

WHICH, WHEN GIVEN FREELY,

MAKES A WEAK FLAME BURN BRIGHTLY.

WITH YOUR HAND ON HIS HEART,

THE WISH IN YOUR HEART WILL COME TRUE.

BUT I'LL NO LONGER BE IMMORTAL.

WILL I STILL REMEMBER, DAD?

IF YOU BELIEVE,

YOU'LL FIND A WAY.

YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MY DAUGHTER.

HERE...

LITTLE PRESENT. HUH?

GET EVERYBODY HOME FOR CHRISTMAS.

[LAUGHS]

I LOVE YOU, DAD.

RUDOLFA!

KYLE?!

KYLE!

WHAT HAPPENED?

DID I EVER TELL YOU

HOW MUCH I BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUS?

OH!

FATHER, IS THIS REALLY NECESSARY?

AFTER ALL, MY SLEIGH DOESN'T NEED TO BE PULLED.

SANTA'S SLEIGH MAY BE DAMAGED,

THE REINDEERS MAY HAVE RUN OFF,

I MAY HAVE TO USE

THIS CONTRAPTION OF YOURS THIS YEAR,

BUT I HAVE TO KEEP UP

AT LEAST A MODICUM OF APPEARANCES.

DID YOU FORGET THE NOSE?

FINE.

JUST WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR.

THEN LET'S BE OFF.

WE HAVE TO MAKE UP TIME.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

[JET ENGINE ROARS]

Santa: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

OH HO HO HA HA HO HO HO!

MERRY CHRISTMAS, DAD.

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY PARAMOUNT PICTURES CORPORATION

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--

CAPTIONS COPYRIGHT 2001 PARAMOUNT PICTURES CORPORATION

Santa: MERRY CHRISTMAS.

♪ OUR FIRST CHRISTMAS ♪

♪ MORE THAN WE'VE BEEN DREAMING OF ♪

♪ OLD SAINT NICHOLAS ♪

♪ MUST HAVE KNOWN THAT KISS ♪

♪ WOULD LEAD TO ALL OF THIS ♪

♪ IT MUST HAVE BEEN THE MISTLETOE ♪

♪ THE LAZY FIRE, THE FALLING SNOW ♪

♪ THE MAGIC IN THE FROSTY AIR ♪

♪ THAT MADE ME LOVE YOU ♪

♪ THAT CHRISTMAS EVE A WISH CAME TRUE ♪

♪ THAT NIGHT I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU ♪

♪ IT ONLY TOOK ONE KISS TO KNOW ♪

♪ IT MUST HAVE BEEN THAT MISTLETOE ♪

♪ THE MISTLETOE ♪

♪ SAY, THE MISTLETOE ♪

♪ IT MUST HAVE BEEN THAT MISTLETOE ♪

♪ MUST HAVE BEEN... ♪