Original subtitles

No,

no, no, no, no.

You are an angel, David.

You know, from heaven.

But my mum won't let me do it without my bike helmet.

Is there anyone here who can be an angel without a bicycle helmet?

Me, Miss Joyce!

OK, quiet!

Right, Lucy.

Livy!

Whatever, you've got the part.

I've got the part.

Oh,

poor homeless man who sleeps on the streets.

I am an angel from on high.

Come to me.

Let tidings and joyous news.

Mum?

Hello.

What are you doing?

Have you been moved on again?

No, sweetheart.

No, no, no, no.

I'm packing up.

We're going to Spain.

But I'm in a play.

I've got a part.

I'm an angel.

Oh, well, never mind.

You can be an angel another time, can't you?

What, when I've died and gone to heaven?

Look, I met Fran this morning.

We're all going tonight for the whole convoy.

So come on, chop-chop.

Mum?

Mum?

I don't want to go to Spain.

I want to go to school.

You're only missing a few days.

And it's the holiday.

Christmas in Spain.

Livy, think about it.

What possibly could be better?

Come on.

You can help me with the clothes.

Hurry up.

Will Dad be in Spain, Mum?

Yeah, if he can.

Depends on how the salvage work goes.

Please do.

Thank you.

You've done marvellously well here, haven't you?

One, two, three.

Mum, there's the bell.

What?

Quick.

Down.

Down!

So there we were.

Mum had had another of her house warmings.

Yo-ho-ho!

Visit Santa's Grotto to treat for all the children.

Yo-ho-ho!

I don't do any yo-ho's.

What am I supposed to do?

Well, just do some helping.

Don't want to wait outside Scotley's for your boring friends.

It's too late, Mum.

We've missed them.

We can't have missed them.

They've always stuck in the traffic.

They have to come past here.

Hey, there's a train coming.

I hate this flipping soup, Libby.

Stop it, OK?

What do we do now?

Mum, we're homeless and we don't even have a cardboard box.

I can go to the housing department tomorrow, can't I?

Anyway, it's not a disaster.

It's an adventure and adventure's our best.

Remember?

Mum, Polly!

Oh, I know, sweetheart.

She's a little bit scorched, isn't she?

Anyway, come here.

Come here.

I know something that can make it much better.

Have a look in the window.

Aren't they beautiful?

They've got everything in Scotley's.

Strawberries in December and ice-cream heaven with ice-cream sundaes so big they

practically turn into Mondays.

And the toys, they've gone forever.

It has to be the greatest store in the world.

Where's my sister?

She's with a social worker like Mrs Brent.

While your mum gives a statement, she's fine.

Does that mean it's prison, then?

Well, let's not worry about that.

Right.

Well, first off, it wasn't mum's fault us moving around.

What with dad being away working all the time, she didn't really have much choice.

Anyway, whenever we were in town, Scotley's was the first place we headed

for.

We couldn't afford anything, but it cost nothing to look, does it?

The other thing they've got is a man who stands at the front door and he must have

the scariest whiskers you've ever seen.

And you should see his uniform.

We nicknamed him Mr Whiskers.

He used to follow us with his eyes like we'd come on a pinching expedition.

He was ever so fierce, but he did have the most tremendous whistle.

You could hear it in Timbuktu.

Happy Christmas night.

People in jeans, Miss Brayston?

Customers, Mr Scotley.

Are they, indeed.

Excuse me.

Yo-ho-ho!

Yo-ho-ho!

Ow!

You fungus face!

What's what you're doing?

I beg your pardon, young lady.

No toys for you at Christmas.

There's nothing for rude little girls.

And what are you supposed to be, a cucumber?

You just watch or we know where you live.

Then you know more than I do.

Here we are.

The store will be closed.

It's all right.

Livia time.

Don't worry.

This is nice, isn't it, Livia?

Yeah, it's £800.

And it's closing time.

Come on.

Let's see if they've got anything cheaper.

Don't worry.

Good evening, madam.

Can I be of any assistance at all?

Oh, we're just pricing your beds, thank you.

Yes.

Well, I think you will find, madam.

They all are rather pricey.

Oh, good.

Good.

Well, we'll price up how pricey they are then.

And if the pricey is righty, we might buy one.

Excuse me.

Anjali, Anjali, listen to mum now very carefully.

Shall we play a little game of hide under the bed?

No, no, no, mum, no.

Because I've got some jelly beans and whoever can be the best sleeping lion

under the bed...

We can't sleep here.

We can't sleep in a shop.

Go, go, go.

Hello?

No, this is extension nine, beds and bedding.

For an outside line, you must first dial one.

If you dial nine, you will always come through to me first.

Thank you.

Well, Brian, punctual as ever.

Six, ten, and...

Twenty-five seconds, I think you'll find.

So it is.

Yes.

We could set our clock by you.

Have you ever thought that bicycle of yours might be a substitute for something,

Brian?

Oh, yes, Miss Christa.

It's a substitute for a car.

Mum, do you want to hide under the bed?

Yes, mum.

Do tell us who won hide under the bed contest.

Well, we all tried very hard.

And Livy did lie very, very still.

But I think it's fair to say that the overall winner was Angeline.

Yes, yes, yes!

Now, there's a surprise.

Don't forget to offer them round, sweetheart.

Oh, anyone want to tell Livy?

No, all right, then.

OK.

Mum, we can't live in a department store.

Yes, we can.

Angeline, we're going to play a different game now.

It's called Snug as a Burg and Scott Lay's.

And tomorrow, we say, thank you, Mr Shoppe, for looking after us.

And we take our suitcase and we go off.

And we have a game of find the loony bin.

Now, listen, you two, while we're here, we don't take anything or break anything.

Understand?

Yeah.

OK?

Right.

Why don't you go and look at the toys while I unpack?

Go on, then.

And remember, only play with the toys on display.

Don't open any boxes.

I wasn't enjoying it.

I was just testing.

It was safe.

Come on.

Go.

It's not funny, Mum.

I just wanted to play.

Don't stop, never give up Hold your head high and reach the top Let the world see

what you have got Bring it all back to you Hold on to what you try to be Your

individuality When the world is on your shoulders Just smile and let it go Look,

royal jelly.

What's that?

It's what the Queen has for pudding.

She has royal jelly and custard.

Wow, you know everything, Livvy.

Girls, we have one sell by pie, one sell by chips, and one sell by peas.

So go and get some milk and have a look for a microwave.

Yes.

Hold your head high and reach the top Let the world see what you have got Bring it

all back to you

Try not to worry about a thing Enjoy the good times you've had Ladies, drink.

Did you enjoy your dinner?

Yeah, I like sell by's, Mum.

Can we have them again?

Of course you can.

Have you got any homework to do, Livvy?

Just a bit.

Well, can you go and do it, please?

I haven't got a desk.

You haven't got a desk.

Have you finished?

Well, come on then.

Hold your head high and reach the top Let the world see what you have got Bring it

all back to you Dream of falling in love Anything you've been thinking of When the

world seems to get too tough Bring it all back to you

Bravo, one.

No, I'm up on second at the moment.

Beds and bedding.

Seems OK.

I'll do glassware and shinyware next.

Down in a minute.

Nelson?

Nelson?

Nelson!

OK, Nelson, come on.

OK.

You never listened, do you?

You're so irresponsible.

I said we couldn't live in an apartment store.

I knew they'd find us.

Yeah, but they didn't, did they, sweetheart?

So come on.

Go back to sleep, relax.

Don't touch me.

They were comfy beds.

But then you'd expect that from Scottly's.

And I will say that for Mum.

She wouldn't want you to spend the night in any old shop.

She'd only take us to the best.

Our adventures were always very high quality.

Mum, it's only 6 o'clock.

I know.

We've a lot to do, sweetheart.

I'm back.

Angeline, come on.

Great.

Let's clear everything away.

Suitcase.

Quick.

You're new, aren't you?

Yeah.

Just started this morning.

What's this?

Dust.

Dust and disorderly.

If Grace don't speak, if she catches them there...

Well,

well, well, look.

It's the Christmas fairies.

You look like you slept in that outfit.

My pajamas were in the wash.

Snap, snap, Santa.

Come along, hurry up.

I'm just being pleasant to the disadvantaged children.

If you ask me, they should have stuffed you and given the bid to the turkey.

I was thinking, if you live so close, I could come over and cook a meal one

night, Ryan.

Don't eat meat.

No, I'm a bit worried about mad cows.

Oh.

Good morning.

Morning.

Lovely crisp morning.

Good afternoon.

Good morning.

Oh, good morning.

Early today, aren't you?

Oh, well, you know, the early bird catches the worm.

I don't think we sell worms, madam.

Oh, really?

Right.

Go somewhere else, then.

Bye.

Mum, mum, mum.

My plane.

Half past two.

It's an important part and I've got lines, so don't be late this time.

Don't worry, I'll be there.

Right, I'll see you both later.

Bye-bye, Angeline.

You can't leave her with me.

To teach you all mine for one day.

It's not Christmas, you're not doing any work.

Anyway, I've got to go to the housing office, haven't I?

You're not allowed pets in school.

Oh, ha, ha, ha.

Well done.

Right, I'll see you both later.

Kiss.

Oh, mum, my angel costume.

Yeah, it's in the bag.

I remember it.

Be wonderful and don't let anyone upstage you.

Go on.

Bye.

Mr Norris said I was the angel.

Buzz.

Livvy, is Dad's oil well in this map?

Somewhere.

How come he never visits us?

Well, it's a very deep oil well and it takes him a long time to get out of it.

But he writes it for Christmas and sends a present.

She's just getting the feel of the place.

I thought I'd bring her in for work experience, see how she liked it.

Right, reason for leaving last address.

Combustion.

Combustion.

Ah.

OK, now, one thing, Mrs Williams, I do have to stress this, but most

vacancies are pretty unpredictable and you will have a long wait.

Look, you'll be our top priority but you can't jump the queue.

No, no, no, no, I understand that.

It's just that, you know, I've got two kids.

I know, we've got them with five kids.

Right, so, er...

Well, what do we do now, then?

I'm calling a spa trip of poverty, sir, because my dad used to beat me,

sir.

I have a good mind to beat you myself.

But I don't want to damage my walking stick.

Pow.

Humbug.

I'm Americans to you too, sir.

But no, what is this I spy?

Is it surely an angel from heaven?

Two angels from heaven.

One of them on a foot.

Lo, poor, homeless man who sleeps on the streets.

I am an angel from on high come to bring you glad tidings and joyous news.

And a pot of honey!

And Lo, the angel up on stage, disguised as a bumblebee.

And Lo, all around her, was stupid idiots who could never remember her name even

though she told them sevenfold.

So behold, said the angel, if you don't have the imagination to see beyond my

stripes, I will take my wings and I will fly away.

You were good, Libby, you were funny.

I wasn't supposed to be funny and you weren't supposed to be late, Mum.

Libby, hey, that has got to go back.

Now, come on, we've got somewhere to move to.

We've got somewhere?

Great!

Yes?

Could you share facilities?

The toilet bathroom down the hall, you have to share that too.

And this is your room.

I expect you to keep the place tidy.

Mum's always preferred to live on four wheels than between four walls.

It wasn't great as homes go, I know, but we were desperate.

We're not that desperate.

Not another night in beds and beddings, you promised.

Please stop this.

Mum!

Mum!

Come on, Libby, just stop it for once, behave, please.

Well, well, back again.

Always shopping but never buying.

Excuse me, we happen to be regular customers of Scarface, we spend a lot of

time here.

So I suggest you keep a single tongue in that small rainforest on the top of your

upper lip or I'll just take our custom elsewhere.

Oh, really, Madam, that would be a blow to the annual dividend.

Uh-huh.

How about you direct me to the customer complaints desk then?

Come along, ladies.

Thank you.

Keep the change.

Five pounds?

I can't afford that.

All right, well, just take Angelina in then, take this.

I've got to go and get the suitcase here now.

Sort something out later, OK?

I'll be back as soon as I can.

Enjoy yourselves, please, please, please, please.

Angel, go on.

Oh, five pounds, what a rip-off.

Buzz!

I didn't know they let insects in a place like this.

Oh, shove off.

We practically live here.

More junk mail.

Argh!

Those beards have given me a rash.

You should try wearing these tights.

Come on.

Back to you, it.

Yo-ho-ho, Santa!

What a jolly fellow he is.

All the way from Toyland to put a tingle in your Christmas.

Yo-ho-ho, yo-ho-ho.

Can I help you, madam?

No, no, no, I'm just looking.

Thank you.

Come,

come, make it snappy crocodile sandwich.

Stay there toot-a-time.

Who's next to see Santa, Alfie?

It's the lovely little Angelene.

You've been smoking?

Smoking?

No, it's a major cause for premature death, don't you?

And heart disease and lung cancer.

And it'll stunt your growth.

Has that happened to you, then?

Right, come on, tell Santa what you want, as quick as you can, that's a good girl.

I've got an awful lot to do today.

No, Angelene, you take your time.

We've paid for this and we want a photograph, too.

Mmm.

Mm-hmm.

Get ready to smile.

Yes, Santa, smile.

Properly.

Ready!

Excuse me, sorry.

It's a new house and for Dad to come home.

Oh, he left home, did he?

Probably couldn't stand the nagging.

Anyway, don't let me keep you.

I'm sure the busy little girl, there's loads of sockets out there for you

to poke your little finger in.

Oh, excuse me, just a minute.

I haven't finished yet.

No, but I have.

Just a minute.

Hello!

I thought I told you not to phone me at work.

Just a... Right, go on, run along.

It's Rudolph.

You want to have a private chat?

Go, go.

Come on, Angelene, let's not waste any more time on these dipsticks.

Come on.

Wait a minute now, yes.

Santa's just on the phone.

Very important call.

The store is closing.

The store is now closing.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Mum, you promised.

You said we wouldn't have to stay the night in beds and beddings.

We don't.

We're going to have an adventure.

Oh, no, not another one.

Through the deepest, darkest jungle they crawled, through the snake-infested

undergrowth.

See the zebra living?

Yeah, maybe a tiger will eat it.

And the giraffe?

Oh, yeah, and the giraffe.

Look, he's dead.

I'll make him better.

Here we are, girls.

What do you think?

Camping!

Yeah!

Are we on holiday?

Oh, you betcha.

So there we were on safari and camping and outdoors.

Mum said the security patrol would never find a stair inside the tent.

And when we went to bed, she borrowed a book from books and paperbacks and had an

hour to herself in the hammock.

But you couldn't begrudge at her.

She doesn't often get a break.

We've overslept.

What's open?

There's people in their jobs.

They're still in their jobs.

And you're late.

Please, don't make a sound.

We've overslept.

We need to loot my birthday.

Mum, she needs to leave.

So do I.

Teflon coated, survival, lightweight, heavyweight.

Here, we have the polar.

Someone's stumbling.

Thank you, there you are.

There are clean ways, OK?

Just relax, be quiet and just act normally.

Normally?

That's a first in our family.

Oh, God.

But why take my word for it?

Let's look inside.

Let the tent speak for itself.

OK, girls.

Well, it seems big enough and we can certainly fit the suitcase in.

I think we'd better look around a few more though, just to make our minds up.

Come on, then.

Can't see him.

OK, quick, quick.

Hang on a second, ladies.

I don't remember seeing you going in this morning.

It's a big shop.

You're blinking your missus, don't you?

OK, then.

Well, where are your shopping bags?

Being delivered.

This is Scotley's, after all.

We aim to please, no parcel too small.

I know, I know.

Yes, I know.

Do excuses, won't you?

Bye, Mr Whiskers.

So off we went, desperate for the loo.

We had to go to a bus depot.

Twenty pence it was, wasn't it?

Yeah.

We climbed under, you know, limbo, limbo, limbo.

Hello, can you go?

Well, I think we've all done that.

Anyway, we walked to this charitable housing trust that mum had found out

about, and they actually promised us a house to move into in the new year,

didn't they?

Yeah.

So it was all going fine, just like clockwork, until the night that mum

decided she simply had to pop out for something.

I'm not a baby sitting there, she's painting.

It's slave labour.

Anyway, what's so important that you have to go out?

Things.

Things like what?

Lottery tickets.

Lottery tickets.

Great.

Another way to waste money.

Yeah, well you won't say that every way, will you?

Go on, bye.

They sold everything in Scotley's that money could buy, and everyone was buying

it, as if by buying all the things that money could buy, we'd buy everything it

couldn't, too.

Say I was trying for something heavy like a chalk.

Nope, not a problem.

Breaking strains about a quarter of a tonne on that line.

Quarter of a tonne, eh?

All we need now is the toadstool.

Sure.

But it's not what you buy, is it?

Or even what you give.

I'd rather have just a small thing from someone who loved me, than the whole world

from someone who didn't.

The store will be closing in ten minutes.

Closing in ten minutes.

Thank you.

Is that clock rise?

You mind the watch?

Excuse me.

Sorry.

Excuse me.

Sorry, Madam.

We're closed now.

Yeah, but it's urgent.

There's something we need to get.

It's important.

Our assistant's all finished, Madam.

It's all very well to shop till you drop, but there does come a point when the

shopping has to stop.

I want Mum, Livvy.

It's okay.

Probably been held up or something.

Look at me!

I have to get in!

I have to!

Hello, Madam.

Can I help you at all?

Yes.

Yes, you can open the door.

Why'd you let me in?

I wouldn't.

Hang on the window, you might...

Ring and tell them it's a false alarm, John.

And turn the flaming thing off.

I just need to get back in for a moment.

I've left something important inside.

It's a very valuable parcel.

Yes, and you're wasting very valuable police time, Madam, setting off alarms.

Are we all ready, Brian, for celebrity shopping tonight?

You know how Mr. Scottly is.

Everything just so.

It's all set, Grace.

I need to get in.

Where are your girls?

Would you move your arm?

You shouldn't use the store as some kind of child-minded service.

It's not a creche.

We're not running the after-school club here.

Are you gonna let me by or not?

Not!

No, look, just calm down.

I'll go and get them.

Because if Miss Grace don't find them, she'll call the police.

She'll think they're the artful dodger stuffing goodies down down below us.

OK, Brian, they'll be here any moment.

Do get rid of that woman.

Yes, Miss Grace.

You just keep her aside.

I'll bring them out as soon as I can.

No, don't.

Just mind your own business, why don't you?

Oh, don't.

Don't.

Don't get upset.

I'll sort this out.

Just get off, OK?

I don't want your help.

Everything's fine.

I'll come back in the morning.

Look, if you're lying and they're in there, I'm calling the authorities.

Brian!

Ready?

Yes, Miss Grace Stone.

Livy!

Livy, the clock was wrong.

I can't get in.

Don't let Mr. Whiskers see you.

What?

You know, Mr. Whiskers.

Mr. Whiskers, he knows we're here.

Someone's coming.

What?

What are you going to do?

I'll get in, don't worry.

Just don't let him find you, OK?

Mum, I'm hungry.

Well, make yourself some celebies.

Just be careful, OK?

And remember to brush your teeth.

I'll be in as soon as I can, OK?

Is this chocolate cell by then?

It took me ages to find it as well.

I like it when you do the cooking.

What's for pudding?

Chocolate orange.

I thought we'd better have some fruit.

Smile!

Great!

Listen, you're going to love this!

In you go!

Smile!

It's Brian, Mr. Whiskers.

Come on, girls.

Shh!

It's quite safe.

Mummy's waiting outside.

You have the run of the store, anything you want.

There's cosmetics on the ground floor and clothes just below.

And now it's time for champagne!

Time to go home.

Or are we home already?

Right with you, Miss Greystone.

Just come and...

Brian!

Please, enjoy yourselves.

Please, you've been so wonderful.

Thank you, Bravo!

Brian!

His arm doesn't look that big, does it?

How would you know?

You're always sitting on it.

Oh, I've always wanted a Wendy house.

Rach, get over here.

These dolls look pretty lifelike.

What are you doing here?

Surprise!

Grandad doesn't know we're here, so can we have your doll?

We ought to be getting back now because our car's waiting.

Come along, Angeline, Scottly.

You won't say you saw us, will you?

Come on, I've got an idea.

Get things to look trendy like the band.

No small enough to fit through the letter box.

Find a lipstick or something.

It's living.

What about this?

Oh, he's here.

Come on, there's my mum.

Sorry, darling.

I got held up in the studio.

Excuse me, Miss.

Just a minute.

She's with the band.

I just think I might try and get an autograph.

Hey, Miss.

Excuse me.

Come back!

Excuse me.

Yeah, what is it?

Sorry.

Sorry, wrong one.

Excuse me.

The champagne's been served at Mr. Scottly's office.

Oh, great.

So are you going to show me the way, then?

Oh, all right.

Merry Christmas!

Bye!

Merry Christmas!

Bye!

Oh, Eugene, I'm so sorry.

So sorry.

No, you're not.

Sorry is when you don't do it again.

You're always doing it again.

And then you do it again after that.

You never listen.

No, no, I am sorry, really.

I've learnt a lesson.

Friends?

OK, but this is your last chance.

And I mean it this time.

It's not funny.

No, I am sorry.

Honestly, I am.

Honestly, I promise I'll do better.

Oh, yeah?

I know what you're doing.

Look, it's only for Christmas.

Only for Christmas?

That said, I'm informing Mr. Scottly.

No, we've got a place to go to.

It's for a few more days, that's all.

We've just got to get through the holiday.

No, not here.

This is a department store.

You can't just move into a shop.

It's disgraceful.

Oh, don't be so uptight.

Hey, I'm not uptight.

Oh, where do you suggest we live?

On the streets?

Where is your sense of adventure?

This puts me in a very difficult position.

It's not that I'm unsympathetic.

I've had housing problems.

I lived in a van once.

Oh, really?

What model?

An old Bedford, actually.

Oh.

They were quite good, weren't they?

Yeah.

I was a bit steep on the pitch.

Oh, yeah, I know.

Stop.

What?

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

What?

I could lose my job over this.

Maybe you don't think it's much of a job, but at least I'm not sleeping in someone

else's tent.

It's a model.

It's Christmas Eve.

What do you suggest we do?

Can I have my sock back, please?

Brian, call a cab for me, will you, please?

Yes, yes, yes, of course.

My hands are a bit tight.

Go on, Mum.

Well done.

After that, we went and checked Mum's lottery numbers.

Thanks very much.

She'd won ten quid.

Oh, the seat's a hund of money.

She let us have a pound each, but Angeline gave hers away.

And when I saw her do that, I felt greedy and ashamed, so I bought a big issue.

I thought I'd wrap it up and give it to Mum for Christmas.

It was a long day, almost the size of an elephant and just as great.

It was one of those days when you've got no money and no home and no Dad,

and it's Christmas for everyone around you, but it's not like Christmas for you.

But I expect we've all had days like that, and we did what we could to keep cheerful,

anything that was free.

OK, pick a number.

Five, two, one, two.

I'll have green.

OK, green it is.

You're going to be an astronaut and fall in love with an alien.

Only if he has his own house.

Mum, do you like my moustaches?

Well, I prefer them to ladies with moustaches.

Why do you ask?

Do you think Dad will have a moustache and a uniform for an alien?

Yeah, maybe.

If he does come back for Christmas, Mr Whiskers won't...

You know.

What?

We'll send him away.

Olivia, you worry too much.

Mum, I'm cold.

So he walked around looking for somewhere that was warm and didn't cost anything,

and we ended up in the library.

I'm smiling because I really like you.

It's good you chose me to be your friend.

Very good.

We stayed there as long as we could.

I said a little prayer for whoever had invented libraries and wanted to let them

know I was grateful.

But the library closed early.

So we went back to Scotley's to hide in customer ladies for the last time,

though we didn't know it.

We were in that loop for ages.

There was a staff party going on after they closed up, and it seemed like they'd

never go home.

We had company as well.

Oh, man, that's much better.

Well, it might have been much better for her.

It wasn't so good for the rest of us with this party going on right outside our

cubicle, so we decided to risk it.

MUSIC PLAYS

Adam, take it easy, keep a clear head for Christmas, remember?

Yo, ho, ho.

Hello, Brian.

Hello, how are you?

I'm fine, thank you.

Hey, feeling?

Looking lovely.

What are you doing in camping and outdoors, you naughty thing?

Oh, Miss Kristen, I was just, um, just, you know, enjoying the scenery.

Are you all right?

I'm a bit tipsy, actually, Brian.

I'm letting my hair down.

So I see.

Um, shall we rejoin the rest...

Tell me, Brian, does it, um, tickle your moustache?

Why, do you ask?

Are you doing moustache research?

Oh, yes.

For the mistletoe association.

So you are.

HE LAUGHS Oh, I think that's Mr Scott, they're calling me there.

Yes, ma'am.

Do you know what it suddenly feels like to me?

What?

It suddenly feels like...

Christmas!

Christmas!

Yes!

Nice boy!

So we got into the Christmas spirit and decorated our tent.

It looked really great, too, for a tent.

We went down to the food hall and got a sell-by mince pie for Santa, then to pet

some pet food to get a dog biscuit for his reindeer.

And we borrowed things to give to each other, not to keep, just to pretend.

I gave Mum a Swiss army knife and Angeline a big teddy bear.

Angeline gave us both some bleach.

I don't think she knew what it was, but she liked the bottle.

So we put all our presents under the big Christmas tree.

Then we went and got dressed up in borrowed finery and went all the way to

heaven.

Ta-da!

Beautiful.

It's a work of art.

So how are we paying for these, Mum?

Well, it's simple, really.

I totaled up our hours for cleaning and multiplied them by the national minimum

wage.

And that gives us two and seven-eight some days.

Can I have some of yours?

No.

Please.

All right, then.

Mmm.

Nice.

You know, Mum, this is the best store in the world and you're the best mum in the

store.

Oh, thank you.

And you are the best children anywhere.

Here, hold this.

And hold that.

Thank you.

I've got another surprise for you.

And it's a parcel from, guess who?

From Dad.

Dad!

Yeah, you see?

You see, I said he wouldn't forget.

Why don't you go and put that under the Christmas tree, Angelina?

OK.

What is it, Livi?

That parcel from Dad has got stamps from Norway, India, Tasmania, Africa.

Yeah, well, you know, you see...

Yes, I do see, Mum.

He's gone away.

He's not down an oil well or up a gum tree or anywhere, is he?

He's never coming back.

And that's the truth of it, isn't it?

It's not as if he didn't love you, Livi, it's just that well, he was a bit of

a dreamer.

He was totally irresponsible and he was lousy with money.

Well, it wouldn't do to have two of them in the family, would it?

How come you're so sensible, Livi?

I don't know who you got it from.

Well, we know it wasn't from you.

Come on, let's go and get Angelina.

I told her we'd try and find Father Christmas.

Come on.

Mum, is Santa really coming tonight?

Of course.

Of course he is, darling.

It's Christmas Eve.

Look, Mum!

So he went to bed and camping in outdoors and waited for Santa to come.

And this Christmas, he really did.

Are you sure about this line?

Yeah, yeah, you can catch hammerheads with this.

Hammerhead?

It's knuckleheads I'm worried about.

Whatever you do, don't drop anything on the floor because you'll set all the

alarms off.

What's that?

Deodorant!

It's for the alarms and the laser beams.

It'll show you where all the laser beams are.

Hello, Mr. Scotty.

Just going to borrow some of your jewels.

Hurry up, me arms are

killing me!

You should see those jewels, Santa!

That's what I want!

Hurry up!

Okay.

Okay, thrill me up!

Off the hook, on the roof and up, up and away!

You put weight on!

Oh, oh, oh, this hole is corrupt, you gem!

Hurry up, will you?

Here we go.

Don't worry, I'm in the fishing club!

Wait, wait!

I've been away, I brought you back some presents.

Jewels, jewels!

Everywhere!

By the time they know their mission, we'll be in the West Indies!

What's the matter with you now?

You said we were going to Jamaica.

Hey!

Are you sure about this, arms-sailor?

There's nothing to it, I'll talk you through it.

I've done a crash course in this.

Crash course?

What if I get one of my nosebleeds?

If you don't shut up, you'll definitely have a nosebleed.

No, no, I can't do it.

Don't be worried, I'll be there with you all the way.

Nothing can go wrong!

Now, do what I do.

Hold on nice and tight.

Lower yourself gently, okay?

Nice and simple.

There's nowhere you can fall.

How about that way?

Someone's been at us!

Where's the sack?

Oi!

Open it quick!

Come on, we've got to find it quick!

We don't want the little chicken clucking to bother Henry!

Livy?

Santa's been!

Yes, sweethearts.

Just remember to wash your hands, won't you, Paddle?

Livy?

Livy?

Santa's here!

Come on, Alfie!

We've got to catch him!

Alf!

Alf, if you want to!

We're laying out!

From Santa!

Are you the real Santa, then?

Oh, that's a lovely tiara.

But to tell you the truth, Santa accidentally lost that tiara because I

promised it to your mum.

So, if you take it off, I'll make sure she gets it.

Hey!

Fair exchange is no robbery.

Now listen, we're trying to find your sister.

Do you know why?

Because Santa's got some lovely little presents for her.

Presents?

Do you want to help us to find your sister?

Okay, I want you to shout, Sister!

I'm with Santa!

Come and find me!

And then we'll all give him a big surprise!

Come on, quiet!

I'm with Santa, Libby!

Come and find us!

Angelene?

She's here, Libby!

Your little sister's with Santa!

And you've got Santa's presents!

Shall we swap?

Hey, that'll be fair.

Santa's presents for your little sister, eh?

Welcome to Santa's Grotto.

There.

Right.

You sit there, Vidalfi.

Santa'll be back as quick as he can.

Do you mind?

I'm coming to get you!

Are you the real El?

Yes, I am.

Are your toes pointed as well?

No, of course they're not!

Are they?

Find it!

Come on, I know you're happy, so

don't ruin my freaking Christmas show!

Where are you?

Show your...

We've got your sister!

That's why Santa asks us to help him out.

Now, every Christmas, Santa comes to us and he always picks the strongest and the

best Elves.

And he says, OK, boys, we're going to make this the best Christmas...

Oh!

I've found her!

You hit El!

It's not the real Elf.

They're crooks.

I'll explain to you later.

Bad Santa!

Hold on, Angelene.

Come to Santa, you crook.

Freeze or I shoot!

OK, girls, this is Santa!

I'm getting angry!

I know you're here somewhere!

I'm going to stuff cotton wool down your toenails and put holes in your socks!

Help!

Help me!

Help!

Help me!

I spy with my little eye I'm coming to get you!

I know you're here somewhere!

Livvy?

Do you think a shop this big sells bandages?

It's just a couple of girls!

Yeah, there is two of them, though!

Come on, Anthony, it's time we...

Ah, I can see you!

Come to Elfie!

I'm coming to get you!

I've got a Christmas present for you two!

Time to say goodbye!

Livvy, hurry up!

You little ruff!

The little people have gone down there!

Get down after them!

In!

Hello there!

Too big!

No!

Go and tell Mum that she needs to phone the police.

Don't be scared, it's only a lift.

There.

Bye.

Is that this girl?

Hello there.

What's your name?

Elf.

The lift!

No!

Don't wait here, quick!

I'm up here, you idiots!

Come on!

Hey, nerd face!

Up, look, up!

Come and find me!

Come on, clogged ears!

You two idiots!

Mum!

Mum!

Mum!

Mum!

Livvy!

Mum!

Where's Angeline?

Livvy says you're not the real Santa and you're not the real Elf!

My mum says never to go with strangers!

What are the strangers, my little princess?

We've already met.

Santa and your friend little Elfie.

We're your friends.

That's right, and we've got some jelly beans to swap for your bag!

No!

Come here!

Hey!

They've gone!

Where are they?

Where are they?

There's burglars.

They've stolen them from the safe.

Santa and Elf.

I don't understand.

What is it you're talking about?

Santa and Elf.

Please, just speak slowly.

What?

Well, we've got to call the police.

No, they'll find out we've been living here.

We've been in prison.

Well, we've got no choice.

They have got Angeline.

Come on, quick!

If we don't get out of here soon, we're going to miss the flight.

When exactly were you sleeping?

Maybe it was in beds and beddings.

Maybe it was carpets.

If you don't take us to them soon, it'll be curtains!

They've murdered them.

No, they've just put them to sleep.

How?

Smell that.

It wasn't by singing lullabies, was it?

Don't you have to dial an outside line first?

No, no, it's ringing.

Hello, operator?

Police?

Putting you through.

You're the bill on the telephone bill.

Hello?

Yeah, yeah, one of them's dressed like Santa.

Yeah.

Yeah, the big ugly one.

The big ugly one in a Santa suit?

Yes, ma'am.

And an elf.

The fellow dresses as an elf and he looks simple.

Well, they shouldn't be too hard to find, ma'am.

And now, this elf, would you have described him as personable?

And you have the gems in safekeeping, yes, you do?

Yes?

And they're with you now?

Good, we'll be there straight away.

Thank you, ma'am.

It's a very strange policeman.

Right, come on, quick.

We've got to find Angeline.

Hey, Santa!

Elf!

Where are you?

I want my daughter back!

Mummy!

You want your precious jewel?

Well, we want ours!

So bring the sack and you get up here!

Mummy!

It's all right, sweetheart, it's all right.

No, it's all right, please.

Just let her go, please.

Say pretty please.

You can have her when we're safely on our way!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

Good hit, Santa!

That should hold it.

Not enough for you.

Mum, I'm scared.

Don't worry, sweetheart.

The police will be on their way soon.

Oh, will they now?

Will that be the big, fat, ugly one who's riding to the rescue?

Or the little, simple one with the nice personality?

Bell top, Elfie!

Ring nine, nine, nine!

Putting you through!

Meenaw, meenaw, meenaw!

One, two, three, throw!

Merry Christmas to you all!

Don't look down!

I can't, Mum!

I need to get down now!

I've got to close my eyes and I've got to be down!

Don't panic, Elfie, you're doing really well!

Libby, no!

Put your head at the top!

It's all right, Mum, I'll be careful!

You weren't on my shoulders.

Get off me!

It's okay, don't worry.

It's not Christmas!

This is 2001!

Why couldn't we take the lift?

Come on, let's get down!

Nice CD, Ruby, thank you very much.

I'm to think I'd forget about you.

Possible robbery in progress.

Two suspects.

Any description?

A man in a red suit with white fur trimmings.

And an elf.

Christmas Day and everyone's a comedian.

Still better check it out.

Thanks very much.

Thanks a lot.

What are you doing?

Give me that bag back!

Scraystone?

Scraystone?

They're trying to mug the store.

The Jews are in here, they've taken them from the safe.

Have they?

Well, if they've gone to all that trouble, I'd better keep them.

No!

Hey, you!

You let my daughter go, you big wubbly lady!

Libby, just hold on!

Angeline!

I want you to help me, okay?

I want you to take as many of these balls off this tree as quickly as possible.

No, don't have them with me, my girl.

I've been to boarding school, I was betrayed by nuns!

Ow, you're hurting me!

I've got it, I've got it!

Hey, you!

Let her go!

What an idea.

I've got a headache.

Hey!

Brian!

What a surprise!

What is this really the moment?

Are you trying to tell me that this is your Christmas ball?

No, of course not.

I rescued it from Miss Steve.

Come on, Alfie, quick!

Well, it's all gone to plan so far, hasn't it, Santa?

Come on, let's get them!

Libby, hold on!

Got it!

Okay, what's going on here?

Oh, thank heavens, officer.

Just in time.

It's these two.

You've caught them red-handed.

So, I'm not saying it's right that we went to live in Scotley's, but we did look

after the place and we did save the jewels.

You're not going to space us up, are you?

Well, it is rather serious, Libby, and I'm afraid it's not really up to us.

I'm sorry, Libby.

It's all my fault.

I always try to make things better.

I've only ever made things worse.

They're going to put us into care, aren't they?

Or prison.

No, they want you too young to go to prison.

But you're not, though.

Nobody's going to prison.

We'll have to be adopted.

You're not going to be adopted.

I won't let them.

How are you going to stop them if you're locked up?

You'll only ever see us in visiting hours.

We'll be putting in an orphanage you made to go on trips to the seaside in a

minibus.

Look, I'll make it up to you, I promise.

Proper home.

Proper Christmas.

Be a proper mum.

You are a proper mum.

You're the only mum we want.

I know you're not very tidy, but we always have adventures with you and that's better

than being tidy.

Adventures are best, aren't they, Angelina?

Yes, adventures are best.

I told you not to get rid of them!

It's your job!

Where are they now?

Where are they?

Well, ladies, these are grave matters.

As I'm sure you realise, living in Scopeless, camping out at camping and

outdoors, taking quite preposterous liberties, abusing the hospitality of my

wonderful store, I do have to say, I feel an example must be made.

A custodial sentence perhaps, mail bags, hard labour, bread and water, yes,

yes.

But there is another side to the story which Brian has been at pains to explain.

A story of extraordinary courage and resourcefulness.

A loving, if rather unconventional, mother who wouldn't let her children go

homeless for Christmas.

So everything considered, I'm inclined to drop the charges.

But at a price, you will all be forced to join me for Christmas supper.

Unless, of course, you have a previous engagement.

I take it as a yes.

They'll be here next time, don't you worry.

So enjoy your turkey while you can.

Yeah, and you enjoy your porridge.

When Mr. Scotley has a slap-up meal, he really knows how to slap one.

It turns out he's really nice.

He's given Mum a job doing window displays, so he obviously likes living

dangerously.

We've got our new place to move into soon, and someone with whiskers wants to help us

decorate it.

Going by the size of them, you won't need a paintbrush.

And at last I'll be at the same school long enough for everybody to know my name.

So we all got what we wanted in the end.

Though what we really wanted we had all along.

We had each other.

And that's what Christmas is all about, really.

Mum, it's snowing!

So always remember, crying doesn't pay.

But what does pay is holding onto your dreams.

Because dreams are like balloons.

If you've got enough of them they can take you anywhere you want to go.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Love and understanding.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Tides of parties and celebrations.

People dancing all night long.

It's the season.

Love and understanding.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Merry Christmas, Everyone.