Original subtitles

(OPENING THEME PLAYING)

Mmm.

(BABBLING)

Look at you. Who's the best kitty?

Give me a little kissie. (BABBLES)

Oh, I'm loving these snuggles, yo.

And I love you. Yes, I do.

(BABBLES) Who loves you?

(KISSING)

Friend Cyborg, would you care for the liquid chocolate that has been hotted?

Hey, where are the tiny marshmallows?

Oh, they are in there.

Look closer.

So tiny.

I never wanna move again.

(ALL SIGHING)

-(ALARM BLARING) -(ALL EXCLAIM)

(ALL GROWLING)

A crime alert? Now?

(GRUNTS) The villains are always bringing new ruins

upon our good times!

Why do our lives have to revolve around their schedule?

Because, when villains call,

it is our job as heroes to answer that call.

(CLEARS THROAT) Titans, go.

-(MEOWS) -Not you, my little one.

-You get your best rest. -(MEOWS)

(SIREN BLARING)

(CHEERING)

Oh, yeah! (CHUCKLES)

-Whoo! -Wow!

GIZMO: Yeah! (LAUGHS)

(CHEERING)

Okay, H.I.V.E., let's get this over with.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did you have something better to do

than to stop us and our death ray?

Uh, yeah. Snuggling.

But instead, we have to deal with you yahoos yacking it up again.

I guess that's why they say, it's good to be bad. (GIGGLES)

(LAUGHING AND CHEERING)

She's right. Being a villain is way more fun than being a hero.

You get to do what you want when you want.

I am tired of them having all of the funs,

while we must do all the cleaning up the messes!

We should be the ones having fun.

Yeah!

I always wanted to use a death ray.

And now we are going to destroy this museum,

unless we get a billion dollars!

-Hey! -I'm not going to let you do that, Gizmo.

-(SCREAMS) -Because I'm going to do it first.

(BEEPS)

(ALL GASP)

That was so cool!

(CHUCKLES) Very explode-y.

And it felt really good!

Let me in on that death ray!

-Go for it. (SCREAMS) -Me first.

Yeah!

Mega Kaboom! Whoo! Mega Kaboom!

-Oh, yeah! -Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

So, uh, should we call 911?

JINX: This is bad. Real bad.

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

That was so sweet!

The museum went ka-pow!

We blowed it up good, yo. (CHUCKLES)

It was more enjoyable than the putting of the H.I.V.E. in a prison.

Being bad really is fun.

Too bads we stuck being good guys.

Ow! Hey, why'd you do that, Mama?

Because I wanted to.

You can't just do what you want. That's bad.

Ow!

I think what Raven is trying to say with her slaps is,

why can't we be bad?

Yes, why the not?

Let us be the villains.

Become villains? Are you sure about this?

I think we should take a moment to discuss this like rational adults.

Well, here's my argument.

Ow!

I hear you. But...

Ow!

Well, here's my two cents, yo.

(SCREAMS)

You have to speak up.

(SCREAMS)

(SCREAMING)

(GRUNTS)

What? Ow!

-Ow! -You are not being the clear.

(SCREAMS) Oh, yes. I see.

But have you considered this?

-(FIRES LASER) -(BEAST BOY SCREAMS)

-(CRASHES) -That is a great point.

-But... -(GRUNTS)

I did not think of it that way.

-(FIRES LASER) -(GRUNTS)

-(CRASHES) -(GRUNTS)

Ow! Hey!

I thought we were trying to have a rational slap conversation.

(SCREAMING)

-Take that back... -(SCREAMS)

(ALL GRUNTING)

Then it's settled.

We're becoming villains!

Tremble before the ill intentions

of Starfire the Terrible.

I am The Cyborg.

I put "The" in front of Cyborg to make it sound more villainous.

(DEEP VOICE) The Cyborg.

Tremble before the Demon of Azarath.

Say hello to Dick Gravestone.

You'll alls be pooping in your pants when you see...

(GRUNTING)

(YELLING)

Beast Monster!

Our transformations are complete.

We are no longer the Teen Titans.

We are the Legion of Doooom!

Uh, there is already a Legion of Doom.

We're bad guys now.

If we want a name, we take it.

Now we must build an evil lair.

Nah, that sounds like too much work, yo.

Work? You're forgetting one of the best things

about being a villain.

Who are all these people?

These are our henchmen.

These henchmen are really hard workers.

Yo, henchy, go hench me a grilled cheese.

Make it two.

Why did we not have the henchmen

when we were the heroes of superness?

Heroes don't have henchmen, they have sidekicks.

And believe me, that gets weird fast.

(RETCHING)

(SHUDDERING)

Isn't this great, doing what we want,

when we want to?

I'm just waiting for a crime alert to ruin it all.

But we no longer answer the call.

We are those who make it.

(DEEP VOICE) Then let's make some calls, baby.

(ALARM BLARING)

(EVIL LAUGHTER)

(EVIL LAUGHTER)

I love being evil! Ha-ha!

ROBIN: Who truly owns the world?

The noblemen, hmm?

The princes? The kings?

Oh, how they look down their porcelain noses at us.

As though we live in dirt.

But they will learn we are not worms.

We are venomous spiders, and soon we will bite.

(SNARLS) And as the poison spreads and their vision narrows,

their last sight will be me!

Standing on the ruins of their once proud heritage.

(EVIL LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

Oh, Robin. A wonderful crazy speech.

My dude, you are killing it as our evil leader!

It's like everything that used to make you seem crazy as a hero

makes you awesome as a villain.

I know, right? Now, on to business.

Taking over the world.

Let's hear some ideas.

-Oh! Oh! -Villains don't raise hands.

Sorry.

Villains don't say sorry.

Oh, right. Uh...

(SCREAMS)

Okay. To take over the world,

we will use our vast wealth and business connections

to buy and control politicians,

who will then advance our evil agendas through the legislative process.

We'll also wanna buy a network of media outlets

in order to guard our public support of the politicians we control.

Within several years, we'll be running the world without anyone even knowing.

-Way too evil, girl! -You crossed the line.

And these ideas are supposed to be fun!

We are supervillains. Let's get super crazy!

Oh! I gots one.

Me and my boy, The Cyborg,

walk around with our butts out.

People will be all like, "What?"

And I will steal the world's bunny supply

and force everyone to watch as I cuddle them.

We wrap the world in a blanket and set off stink bombs,

creating the biggest Dutch oven, ever.

-Really good stuff, Titans. -(SCREAMS)

But I've got something even better.

(EVIL LAUGHTER)

(MOANS) Good snuggles, guys.

Hot chocolate, take my worries away.

(ALL SIGH)

-(ALARM BLARING) -(ALL EXCLAIM)

JINX: A crime alert?

Why are we getting a crime alert?

I don't know. Let's just go check it out, that sound is super annoying.

(TITANS LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)

The Titans?

Call us The Legion of Doom.

Isn't there already a Legion of Doom?

Yes! And we took their name.

I see you got our crime alert.

That was you?

-Oh, I hope we didn't inconvenience you. -(GRUNTING)

We had to drive all the way across the city to deal with this.

Oh, isn't that the worst?

Just when you're getting comfortable...

Bam! Y'all gets interrupted by some hooligans doing some hooligan thing!

(SIGHS) What are you even doing out here?

What you never could.

The taking over of the world!

(SQUEAKS)

(EVIL LAUGHTER)

We won't let you get away with this.

Try and stop us!

(BEEPING)

(GRUNTS) I hate this.

We could be home, snuggling, right now.

(EVIL LAUGHTER)

Wait!

We get it. We get it!

You're showing us how our villainous ways

have negatively affected your lives.

Until now, we didn't realize how awful this feels.

You've really opened our eyes, Titans.

We are glad that you have seen the errors of your ways.

(GRUNTS)

But we ain't doing this so you can learn some dumbs lesson.

-Boring. -We're doing it 'cause it's fun!

(EVIL LAUGHTER)

(BEEPS)

(MUFFLED SCREAMING)

(FART SOUND)

GIZMO: (MUFFLED) Oh, gross.