Original subtitles

[♪♪♪♪]

MAN 1: Come on. Come on, move it!

MAN 2: You know what's in these bags?

A lot of honey. It's gonna sweeten things for a long, long time.

Well, the only honey I like walks on two legs. [SCOFFS]

Yeah, well, I know a place in Mexico that'll take care of that and plenty of it.

This is the last of it.

Then let's go!

What do you wanna do with 'em? Leave 'em?

In this heat in the middle of nowhere?

Sure, why not? Buzzards gotta eat too.

[TIRES SQUEALING]

[OPENING THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[CLUCKING]

[MEN LAUGHING]

MAN: Hurry up with that beer, will you?

Did you see the look on that guy's face?

-I mean it, did you see it? -[ALL LAUGHING]

And then, surprise! Boom!

[♪♪♪♪]

[LAUGHING CONTINUES] Do you think they found those two guys yet?

[CHUCKLING] Aside from the buzzards...

They were a couple of old heifers, man.

They were in the field where we got 'em.

They might have called the cops.

[ALL LAUGHING]

WALKER: Beer.

You boys are under arrest.

Stuff it, buddy.

You got no jurisdiction south of the border.

You can't do squat.

Watch me.

I don't think you're getting the meaning of this, buddy.

And right now, I see four of us and one of you.

That's about right.

[GROANS]

[MEN GRUNTING]

[FURNITURE SHATTERING]

I'm gonna cut your face.

Stop talking and do it.

[GROANS]

[GROANING]

This is Mexico, Ranger. You got no right.

I've got no right? No!

[GROANS]

I think that's a pretty good right.

Walker...

Got anything to declare?

Just some dirty laundry in the back.

Bigger load than usual.

You're gonna need some mighty strong detergent.

I reckon.

[♪♪♪♪]

ALEX: Walker, you said this was a clean, legal bust this time.

I did. It was.

You exceeded your authority.

You went into Mexico without authorization or consultation.

Not true.

Now, I'm gonna have to kick them loose.

It was clean bust, Alex. I had authorization.

From whom?

The Governor of Sonora. Remember him?

ALEX: I just hope he remembers you.

Governor, hello. Lovely to hear your voice.

Yes, it's good to hear your voice as well.

I hate to bother you, but I need to ask you a question.

Yeah, what do you need?

Did one of our Rangers have permission to come across the border?

Oh, yes. Walker, right?

Yes, sir, that's correct.

Cordell Walker.

I knew it. Put that old cowboy on the phone.

I think he wants to talk to you.

Hello, Governor. Walker!

Walker, you've done it again, haven't you?

Yes, sir. Well, probably

if you weren't so totally and absolutely incorrigible,

I wouldn't like you.

I really appreciate hearing you say that, Governor.

Walker, put the DA back on the phone.

I think he wants to talk to you.

ALEX: Yes? [GOVERNOR SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Right.

Sure, whatever you say, Governor.

Yes, sir.

[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING WITHIN]

What are you doing, C.D.?

I am doing what you call your concentrating.

Takes a lot of concentrating to be a writer.

A lot of concentrating.

Yeah, especially if you're writing about

all the trouble you got us into back when you were a Ranger.

Which was, as I recall,

one-third fact and two-thirds fiction.

Yeah, like that little trip you took down to Mexico yesterday?

Sounds like something I would've done.

Still would if they let me do it.

But you know, one little bullet wound in your leg and then...

doctors go all to pieces.

It was your knee that went all to pieces.

This medical retirement, look what it's doing to me.

I must've gained, five, 15 pounds.

More like 100. What?

I said I wonder what it is you're writing about.

Oh, it's just an advice column for The Gazette.

I don't make no money doing it,

but it's going to be real good for my business.

Won't be too long before people are gonna be

flocking in here just to see ol' Trail Buddy.

Who? Trail Buddy.

That's me. That's my pen name.

See right here. "Dear Trail Buddy."

It's an advice column to the lovelorn,

the lost, the bewildered, the lonely.

You know, Cordell, I have got more advice in me...

I bet you I could straighten out every man, woman, dog, child, chicken,

anything with hair on it in Dallas and Fort Worth and three area codes combined.

I don't doubt it.

Hey, Walker. C.D. WALKER: Hey!

What do you think of this?

See? What did I tell you? Everybody wants advice.

[CHUCKLES]

Let's see that.

Oh, that's pretty, yeah.

This is for that little gal of yours, Amy Lou?

Yeah. Think she'll like it?

Never been real good picking out this sort of stuff.

Well, she'll like it for what it is

and she'll like it for what it ain't.

What's that?

C.D.: Well, it ain't a wedding ring.

And that's what she wants.

It's written all over her face plain as a day.

Did you get this at Harriet Wilson's Trading Post?

Yeah, it's supposed to be a real 24 karat Black Hills gold.

Why?

I hate to tell you this, Mobley, but it's gold-plated.

Heh, I bet you paid 100 more bucks than that's worth.

Hey, where are you going?

They ain't got a return policy, you know?

MOBLEY: They do now.

C.D.: You know, 15 years as a cop,

five years as a Ranger,

I don't believe I've ever run into anybody that's innocent as he is.

I mean, he really...

Really believes in people, Cordell.

And that is a gift from God.

It's also dangerous for a Ranger.

WOMAN: Excuse me.

Do you serve tourists in here?

We used to, but we couldn't chop 'em up small enough to stay on a plate.

[LAUGHS]

WALKER: He's only kidding. He's only kidding.

Come on in and sit down.

You're spoiling all my fun.

[MACHINERY WHIRRING]

[SIGHS]

What are you doing, Uncle Ray?

Extending the wall, what does it look like?

You've been extending for 10 years.

This place is already too big.

You never know, you might get married someday.

Don't start that again.

Wouldn't hurt to have a few grandchildren running around in this place.

Might lighten things up a bit.

Uncle Ray, what am I gonna do with you?

I asked the same question of our tribal chief

when you were given me to raise after your father died.

What did he say?

Deal with it. [CHUCKLES]

Washoe.

You forgot to say good morning to the sun.

What sun, Uncle Ray? It's freezing out here.

Do it anyway.

[SIGHS]

Morning.

[TIRES SQUEALING]

Nobody move. Hands in the air now!

All right, you heard him. Get 'em up!

[GRUNTS]

It's all right, I've got you. It's all right.

[GUNFIRE] [WOMAN SCREAMS]

DISPATCHER [ON RADIO]: All units, robbery in progress at 1st Multinational Bank.

All units, robbery in progress at 1st Multinational Bank.

[TIRES SQUEALING] [SIRENS WAILING]

Get back there and see what's happening.

Hurry it up. We only got 49 seconds.

You've got to be kidding. We can't leave all this.

You know something, you're right.

Let's go, we're late!

Police! Stop or I'll shoot!

[GROANS]

Come on, we gotta go.

Move! [PEOPLE WHIMPERING]

Freeze! You're under arrest.

Face down on the sidewalk now!

Sir, stop there. Hold it.

Sir, I'm a Texas Ranger. Come this way.

Toward my voice.

Over here.

[GROANS]

Let's go! Out of here! Move!

Move!

[TIRES SQUEALING]

A witness says he was trying to help someone he thought was blind.

Didn't know he was one of the robbers.

Guy shot him point-blank. Never even had a chance to defend himself.

We've got the entire Dallas-Fort Worth area on alert

checking every street for the getaway car.

So far, nothing.

Walker.

I'm sorry. I don't mean to be insensitive at a time like this,

but I need to talk to you about something very urgent.

Alex, I've got a lot on my mind right now.

Will you just hear me out?

I'm sure you know we've had a circus in town all week.

Yes, I know.

A young performer,

a trapeze artist, was raped and beaten by three local men.

They were arrested, but they're already out on bail.

Since then, they have threatened the girl,

and the only witnesses who saw it happen,

two other people from the circus.

All three of them are absolutely terrified.

Why are you telling me this?

Because they're planning

to leave town tomorrow when the circus goes.

That's what they've been told to do by those three animals.

Which means, I have no case,

and those rapists go scot-free.

You still haven't answered my question.

Why are you telling me this?

Well, I thought if the circus people

had a place to stay where they would feel safe...

If you're going to say what I think you're going to say, forget it.

Walker...

I need your help.

She needs your help.

Her name is Lisa Edwards.

She's only 16 years old.

This is what she looked like

after those men got through with her.

This poor little girl is destroyed.

If we don't help her,

this case is gonna slip through the seams

of the criminal justice system

and that would be a tragedy.

Okay, um...

Take 'em to my ranch, I'll call Uncle Ray

and he'll take care of 'em until I get there.

Walker, there is

a special place in heaven for people like you.

Yeah, I can't wait to get there.

[SIGHS IN RELIEF]

MAN: You were told to be in and out in three minutes,

180 seconds.

No matter what!

And instead, you fouled up.

You know what you sound like, buddy?

A damn drill sergeant.

But I'm not in the army anymore

and nobody chews me out for doing a good job.

Hey, look. Just give us our cut.

We'll be on our way, it's like you never met us.

Doesn't work that way.

I warned you both from the outset

that you were on a split-second time schedule.

But you got greedy.

And besides that blunder, we now have a dead Ranger on our hands,

which will make things...

difficult.

Oh, man, this is getting too spooky for me.

Trial runs, time limits, and for what?

What's this big-time caper you're gonna pull?

So far all I've seen is nickel-and-dime stuff.

Oh, it's big-time. Be assured of that.

And it's going down in five days.

But you two...

don't qualify.

[MEN GRUNTING]

[GROANS]

[GROANING]

Get rid of 'em. Don't waste any time.

Why is it so hard to find good help these days?

Here they come.

MAN: I almost forgot how pretty she was.

The D.A. is not so bad-looking either.

What's the matter with you guys?

Just chalk it up to hormones.

[ENGINE STARTS]

[LIGHT MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

[DISHES CLINKING]

There's really nothing to it. Just practice, practice, practice, and practice.

You know, to tell you the truth, when I was a little boy,

I wanted to be a trapeze artist.

Sword swallower.

Never had the courage.

Doesn't always take courage

and you learn real fast.

North Africa, 1943.

I swallowed a German bayonet, right here.

Swallowed? [CHUCKLES]

Missed my heart by less than half an inch.

[DOOR OPENS]

Is Uncle Ray telling war stories?

RAY: We almost started dinner without you.

Cordell Walker. Misha.

Misha Povoda and this is my lovely wife, Yelena.

Besides being a perfect cook, she tells perfect fortunes.

I don't know what you're cooking, ma'am, but it sure smells good.

It's a chicken etouffee.

A recipe I picked up while the circus was in New Orleans.

This is Lisa Edwards, Mr. Walker.

She is like a daughter to us.

Hi, Lisa.

Uh, I was getting a lesson in juggling.

Figured I might wanna run off with the circus. [LAUGHS]

Something I've been wanting to do since I was six years old.

You better watch him, folks.

You may find him in the back of one of your trucks.

[LAUGHS]

I wouldn't mind.

MAN 1: We should've hit 'em before that Ranger showed up

when it was just that Russkie and that old Injun.

How long are we gonna sit here waiting?

Can't do nothing with her mother, too, in the house, anyway.

MAN 2: Stop your yammering. I knew I should've lit out on my own.

I don't know why I even bother with you.

Well...

that was the best meal I've had in a long time.

[CHUCKLING] The whole secret is in the roux

and all that is, is flour and oil

mixed together and heated in equal proportions.

MISHA [LAUGHING]: She makes it sound so easy.

It isn't.

I have to do all the cooking out here.

My nephew, he can't even boil water.

YELENA: She keeps going off like that. Alone.

We try, but she won't ever talk about it.

All we can do is support her with our love.

She hasn't even cried yet.

It was an excellent meal, Yelena. Thank you.

[HORSE NEIGHS IN DISTANCE]

[DOOR OPENS]

[HORSE NEIGHING IN DISTANCE]

[SIGHS]

That's my horse over there making all the noise.

Her name is Cookie.

She's upset with me because I haven't ridden her in a while.

I want you to know, Lisa, that you're safe here.

My dad grew up on a reservation not too far from here.

He was a full-blooded Cherokee.

He used to ride bulls in the local rodeo to earn extra money.

In fact, that's where he met my mom.

He was climbing in a chute one day to ride this old bull and...

he looked up into the stands

and saw this pretty white girl smiling at him.

They met and fell in love

and got married soon after.

I remember when I was about 12 years old,

a carnival came to this town where we were living in at the time.

I'd never been to a carnival before

and I wanted to go in the worst way.

It was the first time I'd ever seen a Ferris wheel

or eaten cotton candy.

I must've rode that Ferris wheel at least six times.

It was a terrific evening,

watching my mom and dad laugh.

There wasn't much to laugh about in those days.

We were walking back to the car...

I remember we had an old Model T Ford.

And the cars were all parked on this dirt field.

My dad had one arm around my mom

and was holding my hand with the other.

As we approached the car,

these three guys walked up to us.

They were big guys,

filthy clothes, and smelled of alcohol.

They starting saying these crude things to my mom,

like how could she be with a dirty, rotten Indian,

and bring a half-breed into this world.

My dad was a very proud man

and he confronted these guys.

And a fight started.

They must've figured three on one

would be no contest,

but they didn't know my dad.

My dad was whupping up on 'em pretty good

and I saw a knife appear in one of the guys' hand.

And I saw him stab my dad right in the back.

And he stabbed, and he stabbed,

like my dad's back was a sack of grain

that he was trying to open.

My mom screamed, and...

ran in there to try to stop him.

He spun around on my mom, and...

I saw this shocked look on her face.

And I saw blood all over the front of her dress.

She looked down at her stomach

and slowly fell to the ground next to my dad.

Did they hurt you too?

They hurt me real bad.

What happened to your mom and dad?

My dad died where he fell.

My mom died two days later at the hospital.

How could you ever get over something like that?

You don't get over it completely, Lisa.

But time has a way of helping make things better.

And with the love of friends like Misha and Yelena,

they will get better.

I promise.

[SOBS]

Why did they do that to me?

Why did they have to hurt me like that?

Lisa, don't let your life be destroyed

by something that you could not possibly prevent.

WALKER: Okay, C.D.,

why are you so interested in me meeting this new Ranger?

You know, Cordell, you're gonna love Mobley's replacement.

His name's Trivette.

Jimmy Trivette.

I just know you're gonna love him.

I doubt it.

No, he's a good man, he really is.

Grew up in Baltimore

on the wrong side of the tracks.

But he got himself a football scholarship at Penn State.

You sure know a lot about this guy.

Wide receiver.

Cowboys drafted him. Comes down here and...

last game of his rookie season...

he just tore his shoulder all to hell.

Of course, you know, no...

No team in the league's gonna touch him after that.

Figured his life was about over.

Went through some, oh, really bad times.

But getting' on the Highway Patrol is what saved him.

Then he worked narcotics for a while.

I mean, the guy's really on the cutting edge.

[LAUGHS]

You know what he did once? This was funny.

Wrote a proposal to modernize the entire Department of Public Safety. [CHUCKLES]

Well, I'll tell you what, C.D.,

the next time I'm in a gunfight, I'll read it.

Oh, yeah, Cordell, don't feel threatened.

Nobody expects you to come smiling into the 21st century.

Hey, Jimmy. Trivette!

Hey, Jimmy. Jimmy.

Looks can be deceiving, you know?

Not those looks.

How you doing, Jimmy? All right.

Jimmy Trivette, Cordell Walker.

You guys are gonna be working together.

Yeah. It's good to meet you, Walker.

Heard an awful lot about you.

Some of it good, some of it bad.

I guess the best thing is to just keep an open mind, huh?

How's the water?

It's terrific, it's fantastic.

Perfect temperature. Not too much chlorine, you know?

Time out, okay? I gotta grab my Napalm.

Yeah.

Just give him a chance, Cordell.

A training drink.

Getting ready for the triathlon.

It's got carrot juice,

mixed with parsley, cucumber, spinach and apple.

Delicious.

Jimmy here is one of them juicetarians.

He practically lives on that stuff.

Hey, want a hit?

No, thanks. I'm trying to cut back.

Well, look here.

I've got that meeting to get to.

Hey, I'm not officially checked in yet,

but Captain Price had me take a look

at the report on that bank robbery.

So I took the liberty of running it through

some computer reports of similar robberies,

non-specific, just from the same neighborhood.

Methodology.

Came up with exactly three.

A jeweler's, a dry-cleaner's, a check-cashing store.

And the robbers all wore wigs, just like at the bank.

How did you know? I checked too.

Without computers.

Did you get a chance to take a peek

at the inventory of what was stolen?

Some money, clothes. Yeah.

That's all they knew when they filed the initial crime report.

See, I doubled-back with the insurance company

and ran it through the claim computers.

They stole clothes from the dry-cleaner's, yeah.

Twelve paramedics' uniforms.

Interesting, isn't it?

I'm gonna love him?

MAN: Tell me what you know of explosives, Mr. Cobalt,

C-4 in particular.

I know all I need to know. That is not an answer.

Be specific.

Well, which part? The buying or the selling?

I can supply the material, I require a craftsman.

Well, hell, that's the easy part.

I made bombs as small as a music box, as big as a suitcase.

Any size, shape, force or magnitude, I'm your man.

References?

[CHUCKLES] Well...

You know, these guys don't exactly want their names on a resume now, do they?

You know, I did do a little job for the Libyans a while back.

Big job, actually, primo bucks.

They gave me half a million just to set up the...

MAN: You are a liar, Mr. Cobalt.

COBALT: Hey, now, wait... MAN: Two kinds of operatives work for the Libyans,

the silent and the recently deceased.

Now, I know you are not the former.

Would you care to be the latter?

Okay, okay...

Just trying to make it sound little better, that's all.

But the fact is, I am qualified.

!I can do any kind of job you've got, I swear...

Remove him! And on the way out

explain why one should never lie to a potential employer.

Consider yourself lucky you're leaving this room alive, Mr. Cobalt.

[BLOWS LANDING] [COBALT GROANING]

Find me someone else.

Tonight.

Captain. How'd your meeting go with the new guy?

He'll do fine. Anything new on the robbery?

Managed to ID the robber Mobley killed.

Pete Sims out of Miami.

Any priors? Tons of 'em. All for bank heists.

Used C-4 to blow the safes.

Wait a minute, Captain.

The team that hit the jewelry store used C-4.

Where you going? To check out a hunch.

Come on, Trivet.

Trivette.

Hold this till I get back.

I'll do the talking, you just hang loose.

Hey, Walker.

Long time, no see. What's it been? June, July?

Yeah, about that.

Listen, I got a new shipment of SIGs in here,

you need to buy yourself one of these.

That's the best doggone handgun made.

I've got one, Lamar.

What I need is some information.

Well, you know me, Walker. I'll help you if I can.

Where would a guy go to get some C-4?

I mean, I don't know if I can help you with that, that stuff's illegal.

WALKER: So is upgrading semi-automatics to automatics, Lamar.

LAMAR: Why are you doing this to me?

The kind of information you're asking can get a guy hurt permanent.

It'll be just between you and me.

Okay.

There's one guy I know about.

He says he can get rocket launchers,

bazookas, C-4, anything you need.

Goes by the name of Cobalt.

WALKER: Cobalt?

That's it?

He's a shooter. Lives down at the gun range.

And listen, if you find this guy,

you be careful.

He's a real tripwire.

WALKER: Texas Ranger, Cobalt. Lay the weapon down.

Never thought the DMV would send a Ranger down here

just to collect on a few parking tickets.

[COBALT YELLING]

I got you.

Oh, come on!

[PANTING]

How come you're puffing so hard, Trivet?

I thought you were supposed to be in great shape.

Well, you drove and I ran, so next time... [GRUNTS]

I'll drive and you run.

I don't think so.

Question. Why is Cobalt so scared of you?

Because I'm a scary kind of guy.

I busted him once.

I hope you're still laughing when you question him.

WALKER: Cobalt, stop playing games.

We've found enough guns in your place to start a small revolution.

Big deal. Run a trace.

I got it all legal. [CHUCKLES]

Anyway, so what if you are right?

Some wacko did come to me asking to buy C-4, so what?

Doesn't prove nothing, does it?

That wacko may have killed a friend of mine.

So, you better take this serious.

Real serious.

I'm gonna give you five minutes.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[SNICKERS]

Why do you have all those glasses?

Spares. Keep breaking 'em every time I get into a fight.

Must happen a lot.

A bad temper, man. Sometimes I can't help myself

and turn into an animal.

So, how's it going with Cobalt?

It's going.

Yeah.

You think you can do better?

[CHUCKLES] What took you so long to ask?

[CHUCKLES]

Time's up, Cobalt.

No, no, no. Get him out of here now. Come on, come on.

Nice to see you again, Cobalt.

Aren't you gonna congratulate me? Take a look at the badge.

You guys made him a Ranger? You're nuts.

[SCOFFS] You know what this guy did to me?

Like, I should care, right? Just get ready to spend

all those state's money on lawsuits.

I'm out of here.

No, no, no, man. Me alone with him? I don't think so. I don't think so.

As a matter of fact, what's your statute of limitations on civil suits?

'Cause I think I might have to sue this guy.

Assuming they can find the corpus delecti.

You can make this easy or you can make it hard.

The choice is yours, Cobalt. Sit down.

[EXHALES]

Ever seen one of these before?

Genuine souvenir Texas horsefly.

Gift shops are full of 'em. Makes them practically impossible to trace.

I doctored it up, put in a little C-4, a timer.

How much bang has it got?

Well, we'll know in...

Exactly nine seconds.

[YELLS]

[GRUNTS]

Well done, Mr. Boggs.

Welcome to the team.

[♪♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪♪]

Come on, come on, move it!

You know what's in these bags? A lot of honey.

Beer.

You boys are under arrest.

Stuff it, buddy.

You've got no jurisdiction south of the border.

You can't do squat.

Watch me.

Got anything to declare?

Just some dirty laundry in the back.

[♪♪♪♪]

Hands in the air, now!

Like you're running. Get 'em up!

[GRUNTS] It's all right, I've got you.

Sir, I'm a Texas Ranger.

Come this way!

Toward my voice.

Over here!

What's this bigtime caper you're gonna pull?

So far, all I've seen is nickel and dime stuff.

No, it's bigtime, be assured of that.

And it's going down in five days.

I took the liberty of running it through

some computer reports of similar robberies,

non-specific, just from the same neighborhood, methodology.

Came up with exactly three:

jewelers, the dry cleaners, and check cashing store.

And the robbers all wore wigs.

Just like at the bank.

How'd you know?

I checked too.

Without computers.

[♪♪♪♪]

Well done, Mr. Boggs.

Welcome to the team.

COBALT: So, I'm standing there in this magazine place,

just kind of joy cruising.

TRIVETTE: Doing what?

Paging through centerfolds.

And I happened to pick up this certain publication

that caters to mercenaries and war freaks.

And my eye happens to see this ad

that promises rich reward for men who are not afraid of danger.

And, of course, you just couldn't resist.

So, I called it.

About five minutes later, this guy calls me back.

I tell him my qualifications and he says to meet him

at the post office on Clemson Street.

I figured it's Saturday, he's not...

What are you-- Look.

Just stick to the facts, Cobalt.

Just tell us what happened.

You're not gonna do anything crazy to me again, are you?

Let me tell you something, torture is illegal. Hmm, did you know that?

Hmm?

Okay, these two big guys, they blindfold me and they put me in the back of a gray van.

I saw that before they put the blindfold on, you know?

Did you notice the license number?

Yeah, I notice everything, B-0-A-0-2-4.

Of course, you'd be able to write it down, huh?

It was obviously stolen because three minutes later they switched cars

and from the sound of that engine I figured it was a late model domestic...

Stop wasting time. You're wasting my time speculation.

I told you to stick to the facts!

Hey, now just stop it, man. Just stop it, okay?

'Cause I'm freaked out enough as it is already.

With that damn lunatic sticking that light in my eye and everything.

And I'm a hostage, I don't know if I'm gonna get out of there alive or what!

Especially when he's says I'm lying. And he's right, I am lying,

but, I mean, why should that be a reason not to hire me?

And how does he know that I'm lying unless he knows

who did do that big bomb for the Libyans?

And if he knows that, he's CIA, baby.

Huh, get it? Big-time, huh?

So just don't pressure me. I'll tell ya, okay?

I'll just tell it my own way.

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

So, where did he take you?

Some sleazebag motel.

Puke-green carpets

and, like, some red hibiscus things on the bedspread.

[SCOFFS] Look, I never saw his face

if that's what you're wondering, okay?

I told you, he had these big photographer's lights,

they're shining right in my eyes.

I was blinded almost the whole time.

To tell you the truth, I didn't see a damn thing.

Okay...

He had black cowboy boots and he was eating pistachio nuts, that's all.

That's all.

Let's go buy some mercenary magazines.

Why?

You're going undercover.

Why me?

You said you're an animal.

[♪♪♪♪]

Trivet, can I ask you a question?

Your dime.

WALKER: About Cobalt.

Are you ever gonna tell me why he's so scared of you?

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah, I'll tell you.

That time when I busted him, it didn't hold up in court.

So, they sent him home. They released him.

And I guess that night, while he was asleep,

a whole bunch of snakes got into his apartment.

Slimy little buggers were crawling all over the place.

And somehow all the electricity got shut off and all the doors got locked

and for some reason he blames me.

Can you believe that?

Did you do it?

Come on, Walker, you know me.

Not yet, but I'm learning.

[CHUCKLES]

MAN: Say. Roll it down. [TAPPING]

You can't park here. It's a restricted area.

That's the car.

I don't like the way this looks. Let's get the hell out of here.

[TIRES SQUEALING]

Hey!

[CAR HORN HONKS]

[CAR HORN BLARES]

[CAR ALARM BLARING]

[SIREN WAILING]

Go! Go! Go!

[CAR HORN HONKING]

[CAR HORN BLARES]

[GUNSHOTS]

[TIRES SQUEALING]

At least I got the license number.

Probably stolen. Yeah, probably.

It's the only good lead we had, too.

Well, welcome to the Texas Rangers, Trivet.

Trivette.

J.J.: Last I saw you was just before you went inactive.

What? Two years ago? ORSON: Almost three.

Here I figured you'd be Head of Clandestine Ops by now, what happened?

Remember that drunk, Peterson, had a hand in selling those C-130 parts to Gadhafi?

I thought you fired him. I did.

Then he started telling everybody that I was unloading the parts myself

and keeping the money.

Now, why would he go and say a thing like that?

I don't know, by some strange coincidence he disappeared.

Anyway, I got tired of piggybacking the big stuff,

slicing off little pieces.

It's time to go for the mother wave and ride it all the way to Switzerland.

Am I allowed to ask what you have in mind?

Look around you, J.J.

How many banks do you see?

Four.

We're gonna do all four?

At the same time.

Damn, Orson!

Nobody ever accused you of thinking small.

No, they didn't.

Can I ask you a personal question?

Let me guess.

You're sitting there wondering,

what a guy who grew up in Baltimore is doing in the Texas Rangers?

How did you know?

'Cause believe it or not, Walker, you're obvious.

Does that entitle me to an answer?

Okay.

When I was a kid...

every Saturday morning I used to get up and sneak into the living room,

and watch my favorite TV show

about the most famous Texas Ranger of all time.

Last surviving member of a squad ambushed by bandits.

Nursed back from death by an Indian, he became...

Don't tell me? That's right, man.

The Lone Ranger.

See, you gotta understand where I come from.

It's concrete and asphalt.

And guys hanging out on the corner

doing nothing but getting into trouble.

There's no right, there's no wrong,

it's just whatever gets you through the night, man.

You got guys telling you what you can't do, what you can't have, what you can't be.

But now, here comes this guy on a white horse

and he goes where he wants to go,

he does what he wants to do.

He's got the guts to say

there is a right, there is a wrong.

And he's out there under the stars, there's no tenements,

there's no street signs, there's no liquor stores as far as the eye can see.

Just total freedom.

Now, can you imagine what that meant

to a kid growing up in a place like that?

No, I can't. Childhood fantasy, right?

I never thought anything like that was gonna happen to me.

But then I ruined my shoulder playing football.

And I'm not exaggerating when I tell you

that I could've go into some serious trouble if it hadn't...

Hadn't been for that for that old coot over there.

An honest-to-God, Texas Ranger who became my friend.

C.D. is the one that got me into law enforcement.

Helped me get back my pride.

He said if I really wanted it and I stuck it out,

that I could end up like the man who rode the white horse

in my Saturday mornings in Baltimore.

And here you are. Here I am.

Wearing a silver star.

And driving Cordell Walker crazy.

[CHUCKLES]

Thank you.

Thank you, dear.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

I'll get it.

Well, hello there, little darling.

[SCREAMS]

Go away! Leave us alone.

MAN 1: I can't believe you folks are still here.

After you was politely asked to leave.

Not a wise decision.

So we're gonna give you a little free transportation

all the way to Oklahoma.

We're even gonna throw in free meals.

MISHKA: Go away or...

Get 'em!

[GRUNTS]

MAN 2: Dean, get out here!

Can't you idiots handle a couple of women?

Lisa, would you go behind my pick-up truck

and pull down the tailgate for me, please.

Yelena, would you stand over there too.

Ranger, we're leaving.

You're leaving, all right.

But you're going to jail.

No way, no more jail. Never!

[GRUNTING]

[BONES CRACKING] [GROANS]

[YELPING]

Ow! [GROANING]

[YELLING]

[GRUNTING]

MAN 2 [GROANING]: Ah! My nose!

Let me see. You broke my nose.

I'll fix it.

[SCREAMING]

Nah, looks better the other way.

[GROANS]

Ranger, you screwed up.

You forgot to read us our rights.

You're right.

You have the right

to remain silent.

[GROANS]

[HORSE NEIGHS]

[GROANS]

Aren't you missing one?

Not anymore.

TV ANNOUNCER: Dexter's got to get off the rope, he can't withstand this barrage...

I could beat either one of these bozos.

Yeah, but these guys are pretty good, Orson.

Look, you're just saying it 'cause you never saw me fight.

I have. No thank you.

I saw him cut two guys to pieces.

Two guys at the same time.

Orson, my source came through.

Guess who drove that truck the other day?

A Texas Ranger.

Is that right? Yeah.

And he's a close friend of the one who got killed at the bank.

I knew this was gonna come back to haunt us.

Those people aren't fun to mess with, Orson.

When I was still with the company I crossed one of them once.

They make their own rules as they go.

Worse than the FBI.

[CHUCKLES] "One Riot, One Ranger," that's what their motto is.

This guy's named Walker and from what I can pick up he's the worst of the bunch.

Unless you like challenges like that.

Now, what's that supposed to mean?

Listen and learn.

[DIALING]

Boggs, Orson Wade.

I have a special order for you.

You know those Texas horseflies that you make so well?

Well, I need another one,

in a small cardboard box and I need it tomorrow morning.

"One Riot, One Ranger."

Well, guess, what?

Changing it to "One Horsefly, One Ranger."

TELLER: Yes, we have several customers who are blind.

I generally help them set up the account, make out their deposits and withdrawals.

Have you had any new customers, say, in last two weeks?

Only one. A gentleman that came in about two days ago.

I remember because he wanted to use the restroom

and I showed him the way.

Was he about my size, black beard, wearing a Stetson hat?

Well, yes, I believe he was.

Do you know him?

Could I take a look at his account?

Well, normally I'd have to check with our manager,

but as I recall he didn't actually open the account.

He just came in, asked some questions, used the restroom and left.

Now, may I ask you a question?

Yeah, sure.

Are you married?

Do you know my Uncle Ray? No.

Looking for somebody? Cordell Walker.

He's out, his desk's right around the corner.

Thanks a lot.

What's that smile all about?

We did it.

Those three animals were indicted on all counts.

Not to mention, breaking and entry yesterday

and assault with a deadly weapon. Great.

Mr. Walker, I'm never gonna be able to thank you.

Ever.

The way you're feeling is thanks enough for me, Lisa.

I'm never gonna forget what you told me.

It's our secret, okay? Okay.

So what now?

She's going back to the circus with Yelena and Misha.

They're meeting it in Waco.

In fact, if we don't hustle, you're gonna miss your bus.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

If you don't mind, I'll take one of those, too.

I could get used to that.

Terrific. All I need is a crazy cowboy.

Hi, Mildred.

Walker, you got a package come for you while you were out.

Who is it from? How should I know, Walker?

I'm not as nosy as the man sitting at your desk.

Make yourself comfortable. Already did, thank you.

Where'd this come from?

That box. I already opened it for you.

Figured it might be something perishable.

You figured it was something to eat.

You know what your problem is?

You're still mad at me for hoodwinking you

into riding in that charity rodeo.

Well, guess what? I hooked Jimmy into it too.

Trivette? Yep.

[CHUCKLES] Signed him up as a clown.

Good choice.

Ain't you gonna ask me what I'm reading?

No name, no card. Nothing.

This here is The Abridged Sigmund Freud Portable Reader.

The book takes a lot of concentration.

That's why I came over here. I needed some quiet.

I figured since I was doing that advice column

I might as well bone up on a little psychology.

[SNICKERS] Well, I'll tell you, I don't know what was going on

between this guy and his mother but...

Buddy, he's one weird dude.

Isn't this strange, C.D.? An ashtray.

Everybody knows I don't smoke.

[PHONE RINGING]

Walker.

Sorry, wrong number.

[BEEPS]

He's there.

Get down!

[SIREN WAILING] [ALARM RINGING]

Is this quiet enough for you, C.D.?

Trying to follow your reasoning on this, Walker,

but sometimes you leave me in the dust.

Why would anyone be crazy enough to bomb a Ranger office

unless they're getting ready to make their move?

And exactly what kind of move are you talking about?

It's all in the information Trivet put together.

There's an armored car delivery to... Four Fort Worth banks.

And he's intrigued... No.

He's fixated by the fact

that they are all located in a four-block radius, Captain.

That's why the blind man cased 'em.

He thinks they're not gonna do one, they're gonna do all four.

This isn't the Normandy Invasion, Walker.

It'd take an army to knock over four banks at one time.

No, two teams leapfrogging it.

Well, I say it's impossible.

If you'll look at that print-out you'll find

that the biggest single delivery tomorrow

is to Southern Star across town. That's their target.

I don't agree. You don't have to, Walker.

The fact that they've started blowing up state property

does not sit well with the Governor.

She suffers from the old-fashioned belief

that we're responsible for maintaining law and order.

Even as we speak she's heating hot coals to pour over this entire department.

Look, all I'm saying is that maybe you're too close

to this one to be objective.

With what happened to Mobley, it's understandable

you'd take this kind of personal.

You're right about that, Captain.

I do take it personal.

Can you tell me why

I shouldn't kill all three of you,

right here where you're standing?

Especially you, J.J.

You're supposed to have experience, brains.

Why wasn't Walker killed? I don't know.

There was enough C-4 in that ashtray to kill him 20 times.

Hey, look, maybe it'll work to our advantage, you know confuse them somehow.

Your reasons stink, along with your reasoning.

And I'm in a time bind. I'm running out of options.

What are you standing around for?

Get your teams together.

Start setting up. Come on!

[BANGS TABLE]

[♪♪♪♪]

Morning, Mobley.

My friend, go with the spirit of the owl.

He will see all things for you.

Go with the spirit of the hawk.

He will protect you on your final journey.

Go with the spirit of the eagle.

He will soar you to your father.

Your father awaits you.

Payback time.

[♪♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪♪]

I'm gonna put you behind this desk.

MANAGER: Is he under orders to shoot?

No, just to protect your customers and personnel.

Okay, stay alert.

Park it over there.

Hey, Walker, you got any activity on your side of town?

Nothing, but the banks will be at maximum cash flow between 10:00 and 11:00.

TRIVETTE: Well, if you're right, we don't have long to wait.

Explain something to me, Trivet.

As long as it only requires basic English, pal.

How'd you play professional football wearing eyeglasses?

You ever hear of contact lenses?

WALKER: That's the question.

Why aren't them using them now?

Because women say glasses enhance the shape of my face.

Any other questions?

Not today.

Yeah!

MAN: Sign here, please.

All right. Thanks.

That's gross. Who sent you that thing?

I don't know. There isn't any note.

Howdy.

C.D., what the heck are you doing here?

Mobley was my friend, too, Cordell.

Besides, that's my bank over there.

You can't stop me from making a deposit.

C.D.

Damn.

Is everybody in position?

MAN [ON RADIO]: Affirmative.

Standby, we're counting down.

Margaret, cover for me, I'm going across the street for a minute.

[EXPLOSION IN DISTANCE]

It's going down, it's here like I told you.

I need every unit at the Southern Star Bank, now.

[ALARM RINGING]

OFFICER 1: We gotta go!

[OFFICERS SHOUTING]

OFFICER 2: Go!

OFFICER 3: Move! Move! Go!

[SIRENS WAILING]

RAY: I had a dream last night.

You were all alone in a desert

and it became dark, black like the spider.

It was only noon and the sun was gone.

Be careful, nephew.

[SIRENS WAILING]

MAN 1: Come on, let's go! MAN 2: Move, move, move it!

Come on, go, go, go!

[CAR HORN HONKS]

[GUNFIRE] [PEOPLE SCREAMING]

C.D.: Cordell!

[GROANS]

C.D., you'll be the death of me yet.

I don't see you bleeding.

I didn't get that shaving.

Is it bad? No, no.

Here put this around it.

[ALARM RINGING]

[TIRES SQUEALING]

[SIRENS WAILING]

It's a bomb! It's a diversion!

Get back to Walker, Lamar and 7th!

Everybody move! Come on, let me take that car!

[SIRENS WAILING] [TIRES SQUEALING]

[♪♪♪♪]

MAN: Nobody move, nobody gets hurt.

Stay on the ground, keep your mouths shut.

Nobody moves!

Get in there.

[GROANS]

[PEOPLE CLAMORING]

Cops!

Do it now.

[ENGINE STARTS]

[PEOPLE CLAMORING]

[GUNFIRE]

[GUNSHOT]

[TIRES SQUEALING]

[PEOPLE CLAMORING]

C.D.: Hold it! Hold it!

Get on the ground, right now. Do it!

Who the hell are you, anyway?

C.D. Parker, Texas Ranger.

Retired.

Well, semi-retired.

[SIRENS WAILING]

Halt! Texas Ranger.

You're under arrest.

[TIRES SQUEALING]

[OFFICERS SHOUTING]

OFFICER: Drop your weapons!

[YELLS] [GROANS]

[GRUNTING]

[GROANING]

[RAY SPEAKS NATIVE LANGUAGE]

RAY: The spider that lives on his hand, it's black.

It could kill.

Texas Ranger.

Here, take this.

[TRIVETTE GROANS IN FRUSTRATION]

Damn. Damn.

I liked this pair.

Oh, that was great work, son.

I wish Cordell could've seen that.

Why disillusion him?

[BOTH GRUNTING]

You're Walker, huh?

Good guess.

They tell me you're the best.

Oh, yeah?

[GRUNTING]

[GROANING]

What do you think?

[GRUNTING]

[GROANING]

[GRUNTING]

Having fun, yet?

[GROANING]

[GRUNTING]

[GROANING]

This is for Mobley.

[GROANING]

[♪♪♪♪]

[CROWD CHEERING]

[BULL BELLOWING]

[TIMER BUZZES]

[CHEERING]

[ANNOUNCER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON P.A.]

[CROWD CHEERING]

James, is that you?

It ain't Bozo, Counselor.

Do you know anything about this clown stuff, Trivet?

I don't understand what the big deal is.

All you gotta do is a little dance

and jump in that barrel and watch the carnage.

Nice show.

[BANGS]

[ANNOUNCER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[CROWD CHEERING]

[TIMER BUZZES]

This is definitely not a recreational sport.

Now this bull here, he'll kick hard and he'll kick high.

If he belly rolls, he's gotta lot of drop.

[CROWD CHEERING]

[TIMER BUZZES]

That one looks horrible.

[BELLOWS]

He's a bad one, all right. He's called the Terminator.

The thing with him, you don't know what he's going to do.

Very unpredictable bull.

And when you go off after him you gotta be really careful

'cause he'll put a horn right through you.

Okay, good people, here's what you've been waiting for.

Riding for the Children's Relief Fund our own Cordell Walker.

Listen to them, you're a celebrity.

Hey, Cordell.

Better do good out there, you got your whole fan club watching you.

ANNOUNCER: Okay, folks, if you've got a weak heart, you'd better go on home.

The next man out of the chute, Cordell Walker,

riding 2,000 pounds of death and destruction.

The ever-fearsome Terminator!

I should've known.

Hey, don't blow a gasket.

How do you think we got all these people, made all that money?

If I live through this C.D., you're a dead man.

ANNOUNCER: Well folks, it's that time of the evening.

The event is all you've all been waiting for.

Cornell Walker riding the Terminator for you.

That's right...

[BELLOWS]

Loosen it up.

Okay, tighten it.

Okay.

Okay, boys.

[CROWD CHEERING]

[TIMER BUZZES]

You didn't stay on very long.

I only needed eight seconds.

[BELLOWS] [ANNOUNCER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Hey, does that mean he's gonna charge?

Shut up and run, Trivette!

Hey, you got my name right!

[CLOSING THEME MUSIC PLAYING]