Original subtitles

f Yippee yi-o ki-a Galloping all the way

JS Here comes Quick Draw McGraw Sf

[announcer] Kellogg's. The best to you each morning

from Kellogg's.

f Yippee yi-o ki-a Galloping all the way

~ Great big star on his chest f

£ Outdraws all of the rest f

~ Fastest gun in the west f

£ Yippee yi-o ki-a, Riding around your way J

JS Here comes Quick Draw McGraw Sf

~ The high-falutin'est Fastest shootin'est

~ Cowboy you ever saw f

J That's Quick Draw McGraw Sf

[announcer] Brought to you by Kellogg's...

[reading]

[theme music]

[telephone ringing]

Hello, Snooper Detective Agency.

We calm your fright if the fee is right.

Take baby pictures?

I'm afraid you have the wrong...

You'll pay five grand thousand for baby pictures?

-Psst, Blab! -Yes, Snoop?

Dust off the old box camera. We're going to need it.

Got you, chief!

Lady, you're talking to Snapshot Snoop,

the pride of Tintype-Pan Alley.

It will be a pleasure to glossy pinch your baby bottom.

But Snoop, baby pictures?

Right, the kind that develop into a five grand thousand fee.

[tires screech]

See what that street sign says, Blab.

[Blabber] It says "Banshee Boulevard"

and [gulps]... "Scary Square."

And that's what I am, Snoop, a scary square.

What's to be scared? Where there's a cuddly baby

there's bound to be peace and tranquilizers.

Let's go!

"Mr. and Mrs. Evil J. Scientist."

This is the abode, Blab.

[bell rings]

Yes?

Uh, we're the baby photographers.

Who is it, darling?

[Mr. Evil] It's the baby photographers, darling.

Oh, good.

Where is the little scapegrace, madam?

He's taking his afternoon nap.

[banging]

But see he's waking up.

I'll let him loose.

Snoop! Snoop!

[Snooper] Uh, yeah?

l feel a display of craven

cowardice coming on, Snoop.

Here comes our little pride and joy now.

[laughs]

[grunts]

Hey, Snoop, look! He likes me!

Look, darling, isn't our baby clever?

Yes. [laughs]

Hey, that's my hat!

[grunts]

You got to admit, Blab, the kid's got you down pat.

Junior, show the photographers

how you imitate a cute puppy dog.

Yes, it's a scream.

[imitating puppy]

Pretty cute, Blab.

Reminds me of pooch I used to know on third avenue.

[baby growls]

Yowch!

[growling]

He also bites like him, too.

[grunts]

Blab, uh, play with the kid

whilst 1 set up the camera.

[Blabber] Okay, Snoop.

Gosh, maybe he's got toys and stuff.

Gosh, you must be a rich kid with your own soda fountain.

Hey, Snoop, guess what?

He's got a real ice cream parlor in there

and he's setting me up a malt.

I think I'll join you in a little tea-de-tout myself, Blab.

Hey, what flavor you putting in there?

"Wolfman extract?"

Swell! That's a new one on me.

Hey, ! thought that one was for me!

[gulps]

I'll take a double scoop of moustachio ice cream.

[growls]

! cancel the order!

Likewise, I'm sure!

What's all the excitement?

Run for your life, that's what's all the excitement!

Junior, you've been at the werewolf extract again?

[grunts]

You promised your daddy!

[grunts]

Now go change yourself back or ! take away all your gargoyles!

[grunts]

I'm sure he'll behave himself.

He loves those gargoyles.

[grunts]

Darling, why don't they pose baby with one of his pets?

Yes, it would be gruesome!

[laughs]

Gruesome doesn't mean a bad idea, madam!

Blab, pose the little tike with his pet.

Okay, Snoop.

All right, sonny.

Get your pet, and we'll snap your picture.

[grunts]

Yikes!

Snoop, Snoop, it's a croc-a-doodle!

So what? He's a pet, so he's harmless.

Okay, Snoop. W-watch t-t-the birdie.

[gulps]

Blab, would you stop playing with the kid's toys?

Help, Snoop! He won't let go!

Oh, he won't, eh?

Well there's only one way

to handle a recalcitrant pet.

Let him have it on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.

All right, you fugitive from a handbag, take that!

-[snaps] -[crocodile growls]

[clanking]

Run, Snoop!

! am!

-[grunts] -[camera clicks]

Help, Blab!

[screeching]

Well, there's nothing camera shy about this croc.

Oh look, the baby's taking pictures!

Oh, darling.

Can I be in it too, Snoop?

[grunts]

-Birdie. -[camera clicks]

Gosh, Snoop! A real family portrait!

1 got to admit, it makes for real togetherness-ness.

It was a pleasure photographing your little urchin

for a fat fee.

[grunts]

Gosh, Snoop, he's whipped up a malt!

Thank you, sonny!

Down the hatch!

[Blabber] Likewise, Snoop!

[gulping]

[telephone rings]

Hello? l was expecting your call.

Junior told me he changed you into werewolves.

What do you mean werewolves?

We're still us.

It'll wear off in 30 days?

That's different!

Gosh, Snoop!

What do we do in the meantime?

Use your head! That's what!

[telephone rings]

Hello? Snooper Detective Agency.

We specialize in wolf disguises.

Snooper speaking.

Let's face it.

Snoop's the greatest.

Right, folks?

[instrumental music]

[snoring]

[loud banging]

Run for the hills, folks.

It's the James boys.

[banging continues]

Huh? Sounds like Augie.

Augie?

Augie!

You called, favorite dad?

! did. What's goin’ on down there in the basement?

I'm making you a Father's Day surprise.

[laughs] That's nice, Augie, that's nice,

but just try to make it a quiet surprise.

[snoring]

Old tuckered out dad'll be surprised

when he gets this silent robot Butler for father's day.

He won't have to do a thing

except press this button and ask for what he wants.

I'll try it out.

[beeping]

Take poor old pooped pop his breakfast in bed.

Remember, service with a smile.

[robot wheels whirring]

Get in the round house, mouse,

the cat can't corner you there.

[snoring]

Yeah? Huh? What is it, Augie?

[beeping]

Good thing I'm dreamin’ [laughs]

or I'd be climbin' the chandelier.

-Huh? -[whoosh]

Help, help, Augie!

I'm bein' attacked by a full grown alarm clock.

He's no alarm clock, dad,

he's your father's day surprise.

I'm surprised.

-Now, take it away. -[beeps]

But, dad, you mean you don't want my present?

The ro-butler was gonna wait on you all father's day.

I'd be less than a father

if 1 didn't go along with this robust Butler.

Augie boy, I think I'm gonna like this.

Whoa, let me have a coupla lumps.

[banging]

Dad, you should've said lumps of sugar.

Son, when I make a boo-boo

1 admit it.

Would you like some toast, dear old father?

! would, favorite son,

but tell Mr. Nuts and Bolts to skip the jokes

and give it to me straight.

[beeps]

But, dad, be reasonable

he only did what you said.

Look, he's sorry.

[beeps]

He's trying to smile.

[Daddy] If that's smilin'

what have I been doin' all these years?

How about your morning bath, master?

Okay, what have I got to lose?

But make it snappy--

[screams]

[splashing]

Augie, Augie boy, turn him off!

Once he starts you can't stop him, dad.

Are you okay, dad?

Maybe I was too hasty, son.

[giggles]

This feels kinda good.

Tickles, too.

How about hanging me out to dry?

[laughs]

I know, I know, ! said the wrong thing.

Now, remember, this is the last time,

and only because it's father's day.

You work it, dad.

Hocus pocus, and a bibbity bobbily,

bring me a cigar and the morning paper

on the doubly.

How about that?

An alu-minium val-let.

[Augie] Here comes your obedient servant now, papa of mine,

and be careful of what you say.

Relax, son.

One false move outta that metal monster

and I'll get the can opener.

Okay, robo, halt!

These are your orders for the day,

father's day that is.

[beeps]

First, the cigar,

then the paper,

then light it.

1 mean, first the paper, then the cigar, then--

-Dad? -Augie.

-Yes, dear old dad? -We're turnin’ this tin jalopy

-in on a new model. -Do you mean--

Yes, I just fired the Butler.

But first, we gotta do

a little cleanin’ up around here.

[beeps]

Get the dust pan and the broom.

Hm, it's oblivious that he's trying to butter me up.

Look, dear dad, he's feelin’ sad.

[bleeping]

If there's one thing l can't stand

it's a lachry-mose ro-butler.

Okay, you can stay.

But first, get rid of this mess in this room here.

-What did I say? -Oh, no.

Your next stop, buster,

is gonna be the used car lot.

[thuds]

1 gotta admit one thing, he's tidy.

I'm sorry, robuddy.

l think you overdid it that time.

That's for sure.

Let me have that broom and dust... pan.

Dad, the control box is smashed.

So what, son?

We're through with the mechanical-- man.

But he's not through with you, dad.

Meaning what, my son... My son?

He has to follow your last order

[crashes]

until 1 get a new control box.

Well, take your time, son.

After all, how many fathers are lucky enough to get

a butler on father's day?

[instrumental music]

[narrator] Harken, friends, young and old

to the tale of a daring buccaneer bold

Walker de Plank, that was his name

pirating gold, that was his game.

It is a living.

He sailed the seas in search of treasure.

Pillaging towns, he did it with pleasure.

What do you say we pillage that village?

All righty.

Pieces of eight and goblets of gold.

Soon found their way to this pirate bold.

Hand it over.

It brokes my heart

to give up this gold goblet.

Why, is it a family heirloom?

No, it was great to keep all razorblades in

Is there no champion of higher rank

who fears not this villain, Walker de Plank?

Where is this chicken champion?

[narrator] But hark in the distance...

[vocalizing]

...a Sweet rendered song.

Our troubles are over. It's El Kabong.

£ Oh, I'm a cowboy from old Wyoming f

~ That's why they call me Tex J

[woman] Yoo! Help!

Sounded like a female woman yelling.

"Yoo, help!"

Which means only one thing.

El Kabong...

Kabong's again!

Mayor of this town,

! am holding your beautiful daughter for a ransom.

Don't worry, beautiful daughter.

Someone will save you.

That someone is... El Kabong.

And what is an El Kabong?

[El] This.

[bangs]

Kabong!

Help! Help! Save me!

Please save her, El Kabong.

Walker de Plank is holding her for ransom.

What's the matter? Can't Ransom get his own girl?

You must save her.

And save her I will.

I'd ask you to come along

but l see you're tied up at the present.

Be well, El Kabong!

I'll go off the diving board right onto his ship.

Hooray!

Welcome, El Kabong.

And for you, I gives you the one-gun salute.

-[bangs] -[kKaboom]

[crashing]

You think maybe you better quit, Queeks Straw

El Kabong never quits.

He rights wrongs, punishes oppressors.

Gives to the poor, robs from the rich.

Borrows from the middle class.

! think that's Robin Hood.

Quiet! I'll do the thin'in'!

And while I'm thin'in’...

l thin' maybe I will quit.

[woman] Help! Help! Help!

l thin; maybe you're in business again, El Kabong.

Right! But this time, we'll use trickery, connivory

and plain low-down skullduggery.

-Ahoy there! -Who is there?

Two transient freelance pirates!

Come aboard, transient freelance pirates!

So, you're pirates and you want to join my crew?

Yep! There's nothing we don't know about ships.

-That's right. -Then I will test you.

What are we standing on?

On the floor! What else?

What holds the sails?

A kind of a telephone pole. That's what?

What's a mizzenmast?

A mast that's mizzen until it's found.

What's a poop deck?

A poop deck is a...

It's a... b...

You two can have a conference if you wish.

It's a place for tired sailors who are pooped.

Yeah, that's what l was going to say.

You answered the questions correctly. You are hired.

It's El Kabong!

Shucks, ma'am.

How did you recognize me in my disguise?

Excuse me while I change into my hero costume.

Hooray!

En garde.

You better be on guard, monsoor.

Touche!

Oooh! That smarts.

Say, where did you learn that? That was clever.

[Walker] From my old fencing master, Professor Le Stick.

-[El] Not Old Scabbard Le Stick. -(Walter] You know him?

He taught me all! Know about dueling.

[Walter] Oh, about that.

[El] 1 got a letter from him last week.

No, how is he?

Still as sharp as ever.

[laughs]

[Walter] Hey, that's a good one.

[laughs]

Oh, come on! Knock it off, you guys.

How about me? I've got to be saved yet, you know.

Whoops!

l, uh, better get on with my Kabongin’.

It was nice talking to you.

The pleasure was all mine.

Kabong!

Sacre bleu!

With the sword, ! duel.

With the pistol, I shoot.

With the Kabong, 1 can do nothing.

[indistinct]

Since ! cannot take it with me, neither will nobody else.

1 drop the match in the gunpowder.

lam likes the dog in the manger, yes?

Don't worry, Queeks Straw. I get it

Look, Queeks Straw. 1 got the match

before he blows up the gunpowder.

Give me that match, you impostor!

How many times do I have to tell you

! am the hero?

Gee, I'm sorry, Queeks Straw.

I'll go down and get the match

And don't you forget it!

But, Queeks Straw, thin' you better...

l thin', \ thin’, \ thin’.

That's all you ever say.

[rumbling]

I'll be seeing you, I thin’!

So, um...

It was a short match.

Look, Queeks Straw, there is the papa.

Viva El Kabong! He saved the town treasurey!

Oh, yes. And my beautiful daughter!

Weren't nothing more than any other

red-blooded hero would do.

Hey, Queeks Straw, thin' your kabonger

shrunk to a ukulele.

-What we do now? -We do a sequel! What else?

El Kabong goes to Hawaii.

I'll ask you to come along.

But I see you're still tied up.

~ When it's round-up time in Hawaii f

£ There'll be rootin'-tootin' f

~ Pineapple shootin' f

£ And I'll be there for sure f

f Yippee yi-o ki-a, Galloping all the way

~ There goes Quick Draw McGraw f

Aw!

[announcer] Kellogg's.

Your best choice in cereals...

[reading]

...has brought you...

f Yippee yi-o ki-a, Galloping all the way

~ Great big star on his chest f

£ Outdraws all of the rest f

~ Fastest gun in the west f

f Yippee yi-o ki-a, Galloping all the way

~ There goes Quick Draw McGraw f

~ The high-falutin'est Fastest shootin'est

~ Cowboy you ever saw f

Hey, Baba Looey, are you all right?

S'awright.