Original subtitles

f Yippee yi-o ki-a Galloping all the way

JS Here comes Quick Draw McGraw Sf

[announcer] Kellogg's! The best to you each morning!

From Kellogg's!

f Yippee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ Great big star on his chest f

£ Outdraws all of the rest f

~ Fastest gun in the west f

f Yippee yi-o ki-a Riding around your way J

JS Here comes Quick Draw McGraw Sf

f The high-falutin'est f

S Fastest shootin'est

~ Cowboy you ever saw f

J That's Quick Draw McGraw Sf

[announcer] Brought to you by...

[instrumental music]

Super Snooper, calling Mr. J. Horti Culture,

world's greatest garden expert.

We are approaching your vast richly estate,

and are about to make a landing.

[helicopter whirring]

Welcome to my vast richly estate, Snooper.

I must congratulate you on your landscaping, sir.

Your night blooming ranunculus are gorgeous.

Yes! You must water them all night.

l sent for you because my richly estate is in danger.

I gets it.

You got a no good nephew who's trying to do you

in for your richly estate.

No, it's worse than that.

My trouble comes from a...

[rumbling]

What was that?

[comical music]

Gentlemen, that is why 1 sent for you.

You mean, just to get rid of one ordinary garden type gopher?

That gopher is like everything else on my place.

He's extraordinary!

And he's ruining my million dollar garden.

Gosh, Snoop! Sounds like a 1309!

A landscape caper!

Get rid of that beast, and I'll pay you one million dollars.

I'm frightfully wealthy, you know.

For that kind of dough, I'd do a bicycle act

with a hungry crocodile!

What do you mean, Snoop?

We don't own no bicycle.

Please do ignore that last remark by my colleague you,

and proceed to write out the check.

Good, I'll be in my expensive library

when you're through.

Gee, a million dollars!

How will we catch the culprit, Snoop?

By using a little trick 1 learned

back in private eye school.

All right, Blab. Lower the mouse trap!

Right, Snoop! Gee, you're smart.

[rattling]

[Snooper] One ker-snap, and goodbye gopher!

[chittering]

[snap]

Youch!

1 got him, Snoop!

[whirring]

! caught the gopher! Huh?

Hey, Snoop, he looks just like you!

That's because he is me, you gopher goofer, you!

What you gonna do with the orange, Snoop?

Fooled you, didn't it? It's an iron orange.

When the gopher swallows it,

! pulls him out of the hole with this magnet.

Do gophers eat oranges, Snoop?

[Snooper] Of course they do.

Watch.

[bang]

[gopher] Oranges are good for you.

Huh? For me? Gosh, thanks!

[gulps]

Aha! He gulped it down.

And I magnetizes him up!

[buzzing]

Did you get him, Snoop?

Yeah, and you look just like him, only dumber.

[gopher blabbers]

Look, Snoop, there he goes.

Stop, in the name of the private eye summer school!

[screeching]

[blabbers]

-Huh? -[blabbers]

Oh, a card trick, eh?

How interesting. A gopher that plays cards.

Okay, first 1 pick a card, look at it, and put it back

in the deck, right? Uh-oh!

[explosion]

A double dealing gopher, and that's the worst kind!

Let's outsmart him, Blab, and make like we're leaving.

Gosh, Snoop, what an ingenious plan!

Well, Blab, that gopher is too smart for us,

so we must leave.

Yeah, Snoop. Let's go.

It worked. Here he comes.

Yeah, he fell for your ingenious plan.

[humming]

[Blabber] Look, he's headed for the swimming pool.

[humming continues]

Ill nab him before he hits the water.

[humming]

Look out for the glue, Snoop!

! don't need a clue, Blab, ! got him cold this time!

[splash]

I'll do me famous triple side somersault swan dive,

and nab him!

[boing]

-What's that, Snoop? -It's a hunting rocket, Blab.

All I do is set it. Tiger. Aardvark. Moose.

Ah, here it is, gopher.

Now watch, we sit back, and it does the work.

Somebody we know is going to get it.

[explosion]

It's goodbye gopher this time for sure, Blab.

What are you going to do, Snoop?

! got the whole vast richly estate wired for sound,

and the sound is gonna be a big kaboom.

Gee, Snoop. Won't that be kinda rough on the gopher?

[Snooper] No, Blab, it's his nap time, he won't feel a thing.

That Snoop. He's all heart.

[Snooper] Here it goes.

Pleasant dreams, Mr. Gopher.

[explosion]

[Horti Culture] It was a drastic,

and bombastic thing to do, Snooper.

But it was worth it. Here's your check.

Thanks ever so much.

And as I partake of me departure,

l leave knowing that

the extraordinary gopher will never bother you again.

[gopher blabbering]

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

Ah, this is it, the perfect formula

for relaxation.

The hot tub, the Sunday papers,

and yours truly...

[Augie] Dad, dear old Dad.

Maybe I spoke too soon.

And what problem do you want me to circle-vent,

my smart for his age son?

[Augie] No problem, Dad.

! got a new formula.

[Doggie Daddy chuckles]

And you want your old dad

to be the experimentally white mouse.

To coin an expression.

Will you try it, Dad? Will you try it, huh, will ya?

The answer, Augie, is irrevocabularily, no.

You remember what happened the last time?

But this is a slim trim formula.

Slim trim?

Uh, how does it work?

And I ask the question with trepid-deditation.

A few drops in the tub

and you'll feel slim and trim.

Well, since I feel

plump and dumpy what can I lose?

-What's in it, son? -1 don't know, Dad.

It's a new, crazy, mixed up formula.

Being a scientific person is second-nature to me.

There you are, my son, my son.

The drops are in the tub.

Do you feel anything, Dad?

Only ridiculous. [chuckles]

I'm a failure, Dad.

A scientific failure.

Now, just a minute, son.

Maybe, maybe a more generous helpin’ will do the trick.

A little on the scalp.

Rub in well.

An extra large dash of slim trim

in the tub.

Stir well with the index finger.

Do you feel any tingling or anything, Father?

Son, I hate to be the first to tell you this,

but it's back to laboratory.

I know, Dad. I'm a failure.

I'm a failure. I'm a big, fat failure.

There goes the chip off the old block.

[chuckles]

Now, let's see, where was 1?

Oh yeah, relaxin’.

Aah!

[comical music]

Hey! What's goin’ on?

[bubbling]

What happened?

That slim trim stuff must've worked.

I'll head for that bar of soap.

[panting]

If l was any slimmer or trimmer,

! could ride a flea bareback.

Maybe dear old dad will like this new formula better.

Dad, where are ya?

I'm down here, son, peddlin' for shore

-with this toothbrush. -What happened, Daddy-o?

Your formula worked, what else?

Dad, I'm a big success.

And I'm a little shrimp. Get me outta here.

Don't worry, little Pops, I'll let the water out.

No, Augie, no!

I'll go down the drain.

Anyhow, I'll go down with my ship.

I'll save ya, Dad.

I'll save ya.

I'll save ya, Dad.

[thumping]

I'll never stop till l save my dad.

You better stop now, son,

before you strain the drain.

You sit on the sill and dry

while I work on an antidote.

Will ya step on it, son, please?

Before somebody steps on me.

-Put me down, you vulture. -[caws]

I'll thank you to have a little more respect

for a bird dog.

I'll head for terria firmia.

1 knew I should've cut the grass this morning.

Well, what do you know?

[chuckles]

There's that golf ball

that I lost two years ago.

-[rumbling] -[footsteps approaching]

Now what?

Good morning, friend.

You know, I'd hate to buy shoes for that cater-ta-pillar.

< Dum dee dum dum LadadeeJ

< Dum dee dum dum dum £

S La da dee Dum dee dum dum Sf

[Doggie Daddy] "Dum dee dum dum la da dee"?

How many times do I have to tell that cat

to stay out of the yard?

[continues singing]

Scat, cat!

[crash]

There oughta be a law against dogs.

What? This 1 don't believe.

Must be a fly speck on my glasses.

It's true!

A teensy weensy dog.

Hey, bub. You were sayin’, small dog?

This small dog was sayin’... uh...

He was sayin... Scram!

I'll let him think he's gettin’ away.

Help, Augie!

Help!

Let's all play swat the dog.

[comical music]

I like these mouse sized dogs.

Let's play swat the cat.

[thumping]

Don't worry, best Dad.

I'll get you out with this broom and chewing gum.

[Doggie Daddy] Okay, son, but just don't gum up the works.

[chuckles]

Fishin’ for pennies, sonny?

No, sir, I'm fishin’ for my dad

and I got him.

And a top of da mornin’ to you, officer.

‘Tis a sick, sick policeman I am,

that's for sure.

So, Dad, I found out it would take four weeks to wear off.

So, I thought somebody should keep you company,

dear old favorite Dad.

That's my boy who did that.

Shall we take a run around the living room, son?

I'm with you, Dad, but watch out for the cat.

Right, son. [chuckles]

[instrumental music]

[narrator] There comes a time in a lawman's life

when he feels he must hang up his guns for good.

Hand me my guns, Baba Looey.

l feel like hanging them up for good.

! think you are doing the right thing, Queek Straw.

-[man] Oh, Quick Draw. -Yes?

Now that you've retired, how do you expect to spend your time?

Well, ! figure I'll write my memoirs, ] reckon.

[narrator] And so it was that the famous Quick Draw McGraw

settled down to write his colorful memoirs.

But it seemed to be an unwritten rule of the Old West

that a fast gun like Quick Draw was always being challenged

by someone who thought he was faster.

-[man] Reach, McGraw! -Reach for what, stranger?

Reach for your guns. I'm Wyoming Willie,

and I'm the fastest gun alive.

Oh, I'm horribly sorry, but 1 hung up my guns for good.

Aw, shucks, McGraw.

I'm plum disappointed.

-So long, Quick Draw. -So long, Willie.

Gosh ol' Willikers. I'm all suck up and disappointed.

Pshaw! Pshaw! Pshaw!

Say, Baba Boy, how do you spell "Chapter One"?

[narrator] But Quick Draw's dream of peaceful retirement

was soon to be shattered,

for the notorious swindler,

Slippery Earl Slick,

had already gained a dangerous foothold in town.

I'll be most happy to take your Harden ranch

in exchange for 500 shares of my oil stock.

"Is ita good well?" Ha!

Why, it's bringing in 100 barrels a day.

No oil, just barrels. [laughs]

[narrator] /t wasn't long before the citizenry found themselves

completely hoodwinked by Slick's oily sales talk.

Gentlemen, here comes a gusher now.

There's more than one way to put oil in a well.

-Look! It's a gusher! -We'll be rich!

-I'Il buy a thousand shares! -Count me in, too!

[narrator] But it wasn't long before the people realized

they'd been victimized and bilked of their funds.

! just realized that I've been victimized

and bilked of my funds.

Here's whatever that is. Count me in, too.

And so, the people decided to call on Quick Draw McGraw

and ask him to bring Slippery Earl Slick to justice.

Baba Boy, how do you spell "handsome"?

Quick Draw, we've come to ask you to rid us

of that thieving varmint, Slippery Earl Slick.

Slippery Earl Slick?

Why, I've been looking for that dishonest swindler

ever since he sold me the Grand Canyon

a receptacle for old razor blades.

Come on, Baba Boy. We've got some old scores to tally up.

[narrator] And so it was that a grim and determined Quick Draw McGraw

-came out of retirement -[sharp exhale]

so his six-shooters could speak on the side of law and order.

-[guns rattle] -[screeching]

Posing as a simple, naive rich country boy,

Quick Draw entered Slick's place.

What's your pleasure, stranger?

Okay, but I'll have a glass of parsnip juice, straight.

And I'll pay for it with some of this.

-ls that real money? -I think it is.

We're going to trap Slippery Earl Slick with it.

[Quick Draw] Quiet, Bubba Big Mouth...

Stranger, any friend with so much money is a friend of mine.

-[pager ringing] -I'm being paged.

It says... [reading]

I'm terribly rich.

Glad to know you, terribly rich,

because I'm going to make you terribly richer.

Here, pick a share, any share.

Hmm. I'll take this one.

[Slippery Earl] Good. And this will just

about pay for it. Thanks.

[evil laugh]

See, Queek Straw, 1 don't get it.

That was Slippery Earl Slick,

the bad man you were supposed to run out of town.

Huh? It was? It was?

Hold on, Earl!

Give me back my money and come out of there

so's ! can run you out of town!

This joker's liable to cause trouble,

so I'd better make moves with the money.

-[thud] -Quick, Queek Straw.

Slippery Earl is slipping out of town!

Hold on, Earl!

Get back in that there room till ! run you out of town!

And here's your bag.

Thanks ever so largely. And here's something for you.

[bang]

Queek Straw! That was the money in that bag!

Now he tells me.

Look, Queek Straw! Here comes Slick!

Where? I don't see nothin’.

l think you'll see better if you open the door.

Mm. I thin’ you're right, Baba Boy.

-Uh-oh. -I'mma coming up after you,

Slippery Earl Slick!

If heroes can do this, so can villain.

Hold on there!

l ain't no Western hero for nothing, you know.

[thud]

[screeching]

They don't call me

Slick Earl Slick for nothing.

Get ready to leave town, Slick. ! am coming after you.

l think you that you're the one that's gonna leave.

[crash, splash]

Help! Help! I can't swim! Baba Looey, help!

-Glub! Glub! -Bon voyage, Quick Draw!

I'm off for Frisco and some jolly fun.

-[laughs] -1 don't thin' so,

you Slippery Slick!

Spoiled by a bully, Baba Looey!

[narrator] And so, with the capture of Slippery Earl Slick,

Quick Draw returned to writing his memoirs.

Hey, Queek Straw, ! thought you was drowning.

Not till after 1 finish my book, Baba boy.

Um... how do you spell, "I can't swim... glub, glub"?

Hold it, Queek Straw. He's funny. Don't you thin'?

f Yippee yi-o ki-a Galloping all the way

~ There goes Quick Draw McGraw f

[announcer] Kellogg's! Your best choice in cereals!

[reading] ...has brought you...

f Yippee yi-o ki-a f

~ Galloping all the way f

~ Great big star on his chest f

£ Outdraws all of the rest f

~ Fastest gun in the west f

f Yippee yi-o ki-a Galloping all the way

~ There goes Quick Draw McGraw f

f The high-falutin'est f

S Fastest shootin'est

~ Cowboy you ever saw f

[Quick Draw McGraw] Hey, Baba Looey, are you alright?

S'awright!